Win a Winner!
Writers & Photographers
Berlitz Summer Camp
by Chris Clovis
You’re sick. There, I said it – now get over it. You have a chemical imbalance, with personality tendencies beyond normal parameters. You also have subluxation of the spine, causing adverse affects to your nervous functionality. Your astigmatism and insecurities are manifesting themselves negatively, as is the recession of your anterior mandible. Toxicity levels are also unnaturally high, with potential for Toxin buildup throughout your body; this is affecting your levels of anemia. The inflammation of your right rotator is causing seismic activity within the sub dermal area. You have chronic Social Anxiety Disorder, and mild Bi-Polarity Syndrome. Oh, and you also suffer from occasional bouts of halitosis.
You’re a mess.
Here’s the good news: All the nonsense spewed into that first paragraph applies to roughly 80% of the population. In fact, 100% of the population experiences at least one of the ailments I described – even the made-up ones. Each of us have quirks; we all have mood swings, we all get back pain, we all get cavities, we all could stand to lose ten pounds, and we all need to drink more water and less Diet Coke. Oh, and we all need to floss more. Normal? Normal is Us. We are NORMAL.
It takes a really gifted Actor to make a Blank Stare so convincing.
Everybody has issues. Everybody has baggage. We all wish we were younger, taller, thinner, and better looking. We all get nervous, depressed, and occasionally manic. That’s not a disease; it’s called being human.
So enjoy your mental disorder, your physical imperfections, and give those Toxins of yours a great big hug. We’re all fellow patients here in the great big psychiatric ward called Life. As for me - I’m gonna go and get a Diet Coke, even if it does kill me.
Thanks for listening,
Chris Clovis lives in the ‘Entreprenurial Sciences’ Capital of the World: Los Angeles, CA, where he actually is a Certified Personal Trainer and Ashtanga Yoga Instructor, believe it or not. He also flosses regularly, but doesn't judge you.
After more than two decades spent training business consultants, managing dealership and B2B sales operations, as well as the realms of marketing and strategic planning - Chris Clovis now focuses primarily on the development of People; building methods and strategies to help them become the best at what they do. Chris believes that by helping others tackle challenges in new and unique ways, their lives can be changed forever. Chris manages to be an insufferable motor head, an extreme technophile, and a devoted Husband and Father. He lives in Los Angeles with his family. Visit www.chrisclovis.com for more information.
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