We like to think of childhood as idyllic and carefree, but the reality is that our kids are actually dealing with a lot of stress. As parents, we often talk about burnout and how to know it’s time to take a break and recharge. It turns out our kids need the same knowledge and tools so they can better navigate the challenges of growing up and the pressures that are part of their childhoods — social media, competitive sports, getting into the “right” schools and peer cliques.
I reached out to Sabrina Renteria, M.D., a child and adolescent board-certified psychiatrist with Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, to gain more insight into how we can help our kids manage burnout.
What does burnout look like in elementary and middle school students?
Burnout in elementary and middle school children can manifest in various ways. As a parent, you might notice your child showing signs of stress. In elementary and middle school children, stress can look like snappiness or irritability, lack of energy or fatigue or tearfulness. Children might even express frustration or that they feel like giving up.
What are some of the main situations that cause burnout in elementary and middle school kids?
According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), here are four top causes of burnout in elementary and middle school kids:
- Academic pressure: High expectations and a heavy workload can overwhelm children, leading to stress and burnout.
- Extracurricular overload: Participation in too many activities, especially when combined with schoolwork, can exhaust children physically and mentally.
- Social stress: Difficulties in social relationships, such as bullying or peer pressure, can significantly contribute to emotional distress.
- Lack of down time: Insufficient time for rest and relaxation can prevent children from recovering from daily stressors, leading to burnout.
The first step to addressing burnout is understanding the main causes. Then, you as a parent can work on ways to help your child cope and find a more balanced and enjoyable routine.
What should parents look for?
Parents know their children best, and should look out for changes in their behaviors and mood. If your child starts to have a drop in grades, irritability that comes out as easily frustrated or often being in a bad mood, it could be a sign of stress. Sometimes, children demonstrate stress by developing aches and pains.
Frequent complaints of aches like headaches or stomachaches can be a red flag. They can also lose interest in their previously cherished pastimes; for example, not wanting to do favorite hobbies or activities. Lastly, look out for sleep issues like trouble falling or staying asleep, or even sleeping too much.
What tools can parents provide their children to help manage burnout?
Most kids like to be active and busy, but it’s all about striking a balance. Finding the right amount of organized activity and free time can help promote social and emotional growth and development in your child. Parents can help children combat burnout by encouraging them to engage in physical activity, maintain a healthy diet, get enough sleep, establish a daily routine, set realistic goals, practice relaxation techniques, limit screen time and seek professional help, if needed.
Growing up in big cities like L.A. can put a lot of pressure on kids — school, tests, competitive sports, social pressures. How can we best address these issues with our kids?
Listening attentively and offering empathy and support are paramount for parents helping their children navigate the pressures of growing up, especially in a demanding environment like L.A.
Maintaining open, honest communication allows children to express their feelings and concerns without fear of judgment. Teaching them healthy coping mechanisms, such as mindfulness and relaxation techniques, equips them to manage stress effectively. Encouraging a balanced lifestyle with regular exercise, a nutritious diet and ample sleep fosters overall well-being.
Moreover, guiding them to set realistic goals and prioritize tasks instills a sense of control and prevents feeling overwhelmed. Reminding children that mistakes and setbacks are natural parts of life encourages resilience and a positive outlook on learning and growth.
