The From Scratch author returns with an intimate audiobook exploring parenthood, reinvention, and the bittersweet journey of letting go.
My girls are only 2 and 6 years old, but I’m already worried about the day I will have to send them off to college. Will they be okay? Will I be okay? Many parents are preparing for this emotional transition as summer ends and freshman orientations begin.
Author of the bestselling memoir “From Scratch” (which was adapted into the Netflix limited series), actor, producer, screenwriter, podcaster and mother Tembi Locke understands this bittersweet moment well, as she recently sent her own daughter off to college.
In her new memoir “Someday, Now,” out September 23, Tembi talks about this tender time of “re-nesting,” when we are presented with the opportunity to re-imagine our lives and begin again. We had the opportunity to ask Tembi about her audiobook, how to stay connected to our dreams during all the phases of parenthood and what advice she’d give to parents who are getting ready to say goodbye to their children this fall.
Congratulations on your new book, “Someday, Now,” coming out September 23. Tell us a little bit about the book and what inspired you to write it.
“Someday, Now” is an audio original memoir and a deeply personal follow-up to my first memoir and Reese’s Book Club pick “From Scratch.” This immersive listening experience set largely in Sicily is a meditation on what it means to begin again — as a mother, as a woman, and as a self — after the roles we’ve held for so long start to shift.
The story is rooted in a season of profound transition: my daughter preparing to leave for college, my return to Sicily, and the quiet reckoning that came with realizing that “empty nesting” is anything but empty. The audiobook is filled with the sounds, memories, and questions of a woman navigating change not with certainty, but with curiosity, quiet grief, and hope. I wanted to write about the tender and too-often invisible process of becoming — again. And I wanted to create an immersive listening experience that both transports and inspires. “Someday, Now” emerged from my own need to listen in two directions, outward and inward, trusting my intuition, heart and midlife wisdom.
Audiobooks are a beautiful form of storytelling and, when paired with memoir, they can feel like you are listening to a good friend share hard-won wisdom. I hope this one can remind us of the power of listening (to nature and to our own histories), and that it might start beautiful conversations for mothers, families, or anyone standing at a threshold and wondering what comes next.
Did you have a mentor growing up? And what role did that person play in your life and your career?
My greatest mentor growing up was my maternal grandmother, Odell Christine. She was an elementary school educator, a family caregiver, a community leader, a hobbyist gardener, and self-published author. I spent summers in her care, and I watched her be the primary caretaker for her husband and her mother while also pouring into her community and making time to write a book. She lived in a small East Texas town and self-published before the internet existed. Which means she wrote her story without an editor and then found a printing press in another state, then hired an illustrator, shipped her pages off, and contacted the Library of Congress of an ISBN number to register her work. Wow! She did this while making fried pies, clipping coupons, and making sure my sister and I did fun academic work over the summer. From her, I learned how to care deeply about others, how to work hard, and how to vision a future beyond what you can see today. She left an exceptional imprint on my life.
Having sent your own daughter off to college, what would you tell the many parents who are getting ready for this big transition this fall? What do you wish you had known in preparing for this moment?
Now that my daughter is in college, I tell parents that this new phase of parenting will have ups and downs, not unlike the early years of parenthood. You are trying to learn your new role as parent to an adult-ish child, you are trying to interpret their communication clues, and you are trying to stay connected with them as their world expands in directions you can’t always see. My friend calls it the “catch and release” phase of parenting. We are on standby when needed, to catch them if they fall or just when they come home on break from school and want a full fridge and a car with gas in the tank. Then, they disappear again into their emerging adult life. I wish I had known the first year my daughter was off in school that missing her would come on so intensely, particularly the memories of the part of her childhood that were gone forever. But that it would also pass, and joy would fill the space. I wish I had known that I would need rituals and self-care to honor the parts of me that had parented the best I knew how and raised a kind human. And I wish I had known that every tearful phone call home wasn’t a four-alarm fire. I now ask, “Is this an emergency or would you just like me to listen?” Often, listening is what is needed.
For those of us still in the trenches of early parenthood it can be hard to remember our own dreams and inspirations—who we were before children. As someone who has followed their passions, which led to a successful acting career, creating your wonderful podcast “Lifted,” writing a bestseller “From Scratch,” and more, what advice would you give? How can parents hold on to, or rediscover their sense of self?
Staying connected to aspects of my creative dreams and my personal interests before motherhood was like oxygen for me while I was in the trenches of parenting. Tending to my own dreams made me feel that I had a fresh perspective, renewed energy and personal joy that I could bring to my interactions with her. She got more of me, if I had more of me. I wasn’t glamorous and didn’t always feel consistent or organized. Sometimes I felt guilty. But I did it anyway. I journaled and took walks, and I treated myself to lunch dates and creative outings. When she was young, we often did a version of “parallel play.” She would draw or write or build blocks or paint seated right next me while I worked on something that gave me joy. It kept her busy, she felt connected, and I got to do some activity that felt nice to me. I hoped I was modeling for her that her interests, dreams and creativity matter. But so do mine. When she got older, especially in high school, I could not only see the writing on the wall that she would be leaving. But I felt it, deeply. It felt like grief mixed in with joy. That was when I got more intentional about how I poured into a future me that would not be doing carpool pick up or organizing a school calendar. A me that had more time. I knew that tending to my wholeness, creatively and professionally, would matter when she was growing into her new life. So I got curious about the “what if” questions deep in my heart. And I made a commitment to try one “what if.” That exercise in trust and dreaming became “Lifted,” the podcast where I have in-depth and inspiring conversations with women who are changing culture, community and commerce.
But once our kids are out of the house, parents face this identity question again. You like to reframe this “empty nesting” phase as a “re-nesting.” What does “re-nesting” mean to you?
“Re-nesting” is my own reimagining of the outdated and, frankly, pejorative concept of “empty nesting.” “Empty” connotes a kind of physical and emotional void that I could not relate to when my daughter was leaving home. No part of me or my home felt empty. What I felt was change, loss, joy and curiosity. Most of my friends felt the same. In this season of life, the entire nest changes, the child changes, but so do the parents/guardians. Re-nesting refers to a period of time when the parent is re-imagining their lives and the home they created. As a mother, I knew I had to reimagine home, our shared interests, our relationships with each other. I like to say that re-nesting is a season of transformation for everyone. It comes with new questions, dynamics, and expansion. And there is a beautiful dynamism that can happen when you approach with intentionality. Life is far from “empty.”
When not working, where will we find you?
When I’m not working, I am generally in one of three places: in my garden, on my couch reading or listening to music, or in Sicily enjoying a sunset.
What are some of your favorite spots and activities in and around L.A.?
After spending nearly my entire adult life here, I love L.A. with the passion of a new convert. My favorite spots are the Descanso Gardens, Watts Towers, Grand Central Market, The Broad, Leimert Park and TreePeople off Mulholland. And now that my husband and I are “re-nesting,” we love to chase sunsets in Santa Monica and do monthly salsa dancing in the public square in Silver Lake.
