As many new parents know, those early days and months with your baby can be filled with exhaustion, sadness, frustration and even rage, as much as it can be filled with joy and love. Playwright, comedy writer, performer and educator Jessica Mele decided to put those emotions into her work as an artist to create her one woman show, “Eat the Mama,” which will have its L.A. debut at the Hollywood Fringe Festival in June.
We got the chance to ask Jessica more about her show, navigating life as an artist and parent and where she likes to go around her Santa Clarita neighborhood and in L.A.
Congratulations on your show, “Eat the Mama,” and its L.A. premiere. Please tell us a little about the inspiration behind it and your writing process.
“Eat the Mama” began with my time as a new mother, writing furiously in tear-stained journals at 3 a.m. I’ve always been an emotional journal writer and those early motherhood days were pure emotion. Everything went in those journals – fights with my husband about cleaning bottles; feeling like a dairy cow, strapped to my breast pump; power struggles with my child as he grew and learned to say “no.” I wrote them down and then put those feelings away and never looked at them again.
Then, in 2021 we were spending a lot of time indoors due to the pandemic, and I felt a desperate need to do something creative. I enrolled in a “Write your own 10-Minute Solo Show” zoom workshop, and thumbed through those journals looking for material. I had enough distance from the pain and anger of the early years to write about those emotions. Then, I worked with a writing coach (playwright Megan Cohen, who is terrific) to turn that into a full-length show, which was a process of developing new material and collaging it together.
I think I just wanted to be seen. I spent so much of early motherhood feeling unseen as the mother that I was, which felt so far away from my idealized version of a “mother.” I was not gentle, patient or calm. I was an anger bomb a lot of the time.
What do you wish other moms who are also playwrights, performers or artists knew about navigating both the artist life and parent life?
They already know how hard it is, and how necessary it is to maintain a creative practice. I can only speak from my own experience: I am happiest – and a better parent – when I have a creative outlet, which for me requires being seen. But it has been hard to accept that my capacity and energy for making art is different than it was before I became a parent. I need to remind myself that whatever “art thing” I’m doing, it’s enough – as long as I’m sharing it with someone. So, I just have to do the next art thing, and the next, and the next. Whatever that is, whatever scale or scope. Right now, my next art thing is “Eat the Mama” at Hollywood Fringe. And that’s enough. If you have ideas about the art thing after that, I’m taking suggestions!
Did you have a mentor growing up? And what role did that person play in your life and your career?
My mom (now retired) was an early childhood educator and a dancer and storyteller. Her creativity was woven into who she was as a person, and who she was professionally. She nurtured a playful, creative home for me and my brother. And she always took our artmaking seriously. She loved and supported us no matter what – “Even if you wanted to be an elephant trainer when you grow up!” She told me that once, when I was in high school. And she meant it! (BTW – my brother is the set designer for “Eat the Mama.” That’s a whole other level of joy, getting to make art with my sibling.)
I have struggled with many things as a parent and an artist – how to make money and art, how to keep my creativity alive when I’m hustling to work, how to love myself when my version of motherhood is so different from what I thought it would be. But I have always felt loved and supported by my mom just as I am, as an artist, as a parent and as a person.
You were living in the Bay Area prior to moving to Santa Clarita. How was that transition as a mom and as a family?
What a big move! I cried and journaled and cried and journaled. We went from living in a city to suburbia; from two bedrooms to three; from not knowing our neighbors to having the neighborhood kids making art in our garage after school. Our child started second grade at a school three times as big as his old one! Honestly, he made friends faster than we did. Everyone in our neighborhood knew him by name within the first month. My husband and I are still finding our grown-up people here, and we miss living closer to the ocean. But being in Santa Clarita has given us the chance to own a home for the first time, a school within walking distance, and plenty of hiking trails. It’s opened up a whole new social world for our child, and that has been beautiful to watch.
When not working, where will we find you?
Lately, I’ve been networking at Hollywood Fringe Festival events. I love how the festival really builds a community among its eclectic list of artists. There will be 400 shows at the festival this year! My current promotional packet involves space candy inside Medela breast milk bags with “Eat the Mama” stickers. When I meet a person who recognizes those bags, I know I’ve found my audience. I want more people to see this play!
What are some of your favorite spots and activities in and around L.A. and Santa Clarita?
Santa Clarita: Toppers Pizza in Valencia, CA is a family favorite. Family bike rides along the paseos in Santa Clarita – we saw a bobcat in the riverbed behind our house! The Loaf Japanese bakery in Newhall, CA. I’m a pastry junkie!
L.A.: Little Tokyo (I work virtually, but the organization I work for – the Center for Cultural Innovation) has an office there and I love browsing the shops and eats.
WGA Library for a nice quiet place to work in L.A. You don’t have to be a member to use the library, but they are not joking when they say that they will not let you in without an appointment.
Little Green Art Studio (now in Frogtown): I took a holiday wreath making workshop here and it was such a calm, joyful, creative experience.
Mercado La Paloma food court: a food court with a Michelin-starred restaurant? Who could ask for more? Casual and so, so delicious.
“Eat the Mama” performs June 6, 20, 21, 22 and 27 at The Hudson Theatres, 6539 Santa Monica Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 9038
