As any single parent knows, dating in Los Angeles isn’t for the faint of heart.

Whether juggling custody schedules or navigating the balance of looking for love or a fun night out with concerns about the impact on the kids, the prospect of dating is daunting. Throw in heightened Hollywood expectations, time constraints unique to living in a big city, the unpredictability of co-parenting or solo parenting, widespread trends of ghosting and scamming, and the quest for companionship in L.A. can be frustrating.

Even so, online dating abounds, even for parents with kids still at home. While most singles say they’d prefer to meet someone in person and not through a dating app, research from Stanford reveals that about 55% of heterosexual couples meet online, mostly on apps, as well as social media. A little over 25% meet at bars or restaurants and fewer through friends. And so, a dating strategy that includes apps is ideal, experts say.

To make dating easier for single parents, newer apps such as Stir have popped up, designed with features that encourage parents to join online support communities or to compare custody schedules, as one of the biggest hardships for single co-parents is the dreaded “opposing schedule” that can thwart a potential match. Matchmaking services cater to single parents with full dating concierge services (including background checks and tools to support their clients’ desire to find meaningful connections) and support their healing from divorce and co-parenting.

With an eye toward Valentine’s Day, I interviewed L.A. parents, a professional matchmaker, an online dating expert and podcasters about the ups and downs of dating — and their advice for fellow single parents.

Looking for a life partner

Jonathan Klein, a 55-year-old divorced community rabbi in Los Angeles, has been dating and in and out of relationships for nearly four years. Dad to three kids (who range in age from 17-25), he says he would like to find a life partner.

“Dating as a dad has meant limiting my nights out to those nights when my youngest daughter is with her mother,” he says. “The other two have launched, but it has not been a significant challenge. Most women of substance appreciate my efforts to be present with my daughter, and that is a sign of compatibility. I would hate for my daughter to feel like I am not devoted to her needs.”

Klein has found that the popularity of Netflix’s “Nobody Wants This” romcom series, which centers on a liberal L.A. rabbi (Adam Brody) dating a non-Jewish woman or shiksa (Kristen Bell) in Los Angeles, has upped his status in the dating world, especially since Klein and Brody resemble each other. “My phone has blown up with women I have met in the past who watched the show and remember that I’m a nice guy and are curious about how I’m doing,” he says. “I texted the director, whom I happen to know, to say, ‘Thank you for increasing my real estate value!’ It’s been hilarious! Of course, my commitment to finding a Jewish partner has increased, so a lot of good it does me,” he says.

Klein’s dating advice: “Being a parent has been wonderful, even while dating. Men should find in women with children the possibility of falling in love and contributing to the well-being of the child or children. I dated a woman with a pre-teen, and I enjoyed that immensely. There is no reason that children should be seen as in any way interfering with new relationships. They can make them more meaningful.”

In search of chemistry and role-model material

Stephanie Preciado, a 35-year-old single mother of an 8-year-old daughter and 6-year-old son in East Los Angeles, is a leasing agent/property manager for a real estate company that manages more than 800 residential units. “I was engaged to the father of my kids for four years,” she says. “My son was 4 months when we split up, [and] I have been raising our children on my own ever since. I can honestly say it is one of the hardest things to do daily, but it’s the most rewarding.”

Finding a babysitter so that she can go on dates can be challenging since her family lives far away, but Preciado is open to finding love. Dating in Los Angeles is tough for other reasons as well. “There’s a lot of options, but not much commitment,” she says. “Many men are more focused on appearances than real connections. Ghosting is common, and it’s hard to know who’s genuine.” She reflects that “L.A.’s fast-paced lifestyle doesn’t leave room for deeper bonds. Everyone’s looking for something better. It can feel lonely.”

In the meantime, Preciado has grown to enjoy her time being single. “It’s a chance for self-care, self-love and solo adventures that feel soulful and relaxing,” she says. Still, she wishes there were more possibilities to meet men in person, the old-fashioned way. “My goal is to find someone I can truly connect with, who shares a strong chemistry and can be a positive role model for my kids.”

Preciado’s dating advice: “Have friends introduce you to single friends and keep the faith. “I can’t stress enough how important it is for friends to introduce their single friends to one another. When a good person is introduced to another good person, it can spark a real connection that someone has been longing for. Let’s bring that back!”

Opting for a ‘slow burn’

Jessica Kantor, a 43-year-old single mother of a 3-year-old son, lives in the Pacific Palisades and is a writer and interactive producer who focuses on how technology affects culture. She recently created and is the host of the podcast Raising Cinephiles for movie lovers who want to inspire a love of cinema in their kids.

A single mom by choice, she has never been married and started dating again last year, when her son was 2. “I live in West L.A., so anything east of Culver City or Beverly Hills seems too far away to date,” she says. “I’ve been set up with guys in East L.A., and three times I got, ‘You’re great but just too far away to pursue a relationship.’ As I am the parent that always needs a sitter, the burden would be on the man to drive to me more often, so I get it. That’s rough.”

Although Kantor has used dating apps, she prefers working with a matchmaking service. “I know that even if the date doesn’t lead to a second, I’m meeting with a good human who has been vetted.” She says she gets set up by friends occasionally and has attended dating mixers. Echoing the complaints of many single mothers and single women in Los Angeles, who seem to outnumber available single dads and single men, “I went to one Jewish Federation single parent event, and it was like 40 women and three men. I couldn’t help but wonder where all the ex-husbands are.”

Kantor’s dating insight: “I’m looking for a slow burn. Someone to hang out with once or twice a week, companionship, fun dates, adult time. And if it grows into more awesome, but I’m not in a rush.”

Dreaming of sunsets with someone special 

Erica Robbins, a Culver City resident and human resources manager at a university in L.A, says she has never had a relationship that lasted longer than two years. A single mother with primary custody of her 18-year-old son, she has held off from marriage because she finds that men want to control her. “I don’t like that at all,” she says. Her parents have been happily married for 56 years, and she hopes to find a partner who wants to grow old together, “not saddle me with ‘woman duties’ when I have a full-time job.

“I am done with the dating apps,” Robbins says. “The men there are mostly noncommittal, liars, players or emotionally damaged. [They] are more interested in hookups and situationships than being in a partnership. Emotionally intelligent, financially stable and intelligent men are harder to find. I think it is part of being in L.A. — they don’t want to commit because they are in a town filled with beautiful women, and if they are halfway decent, the ratios are 5 to 1 in some cases.”

Robbin’s dating advice: “Background check if things get serious. Watch out for love bombers — they are always avoidants or working another angle. Also, fall in love with yourself. I only want to date someone who will enhance my life, who I can learn from and vice versa [and who wants] to spend the second part [of their life] exploring the world together and growing as individuals and together. While I think smart, beautiful women are at a dating disadvantage, I am hopeful that the person who wants to ride off in the sunset with me is still out there.”

Learn how to love yourself again 

Tiffany Shah, a 46-year-old divorced mother with four daughters, is an associate marriage and family therapist and the founder/CEO of FEAM (Financially Emotionally Abused Mothers) Revived, a 501c3 nonprofit that supports mothers going through a separation or divorce.

Since becoming single more than a year ago, she has dated and used dating apps, but is mostly focused on raising her daughters, who range in age from 8 to 16. “Dating as a parent has been weird,” she says. “Because I have daughters, they are constantly trying to find out who and if I [am] dating, snooping around on my phone and computer. I had to change all my passwords!”

Still, she says, “I would love to meet my person and live happily ever after! I think marriage is beautiful and I would love to remarry again.”

Shah’s dating advice: “I think it’s important for mothers coming out of a divorce to make self-care a priority. Learning how to love yourself again is so important. Date yourself, go on solo trips, enjoy getting to know you again.”

Using dating to rediscover the self

Scott Mebus is a writer and producer, president of a consulting/multimedia production company and co-host of the new Hope I Don’t F*ck This Up! podcast for single parents. A divorced dad with primary custody of his 11-year-old-son, he was single for five years and is now dating a woman he met on the dating app Bumble — after previously experimenting with the apps Hinge, Match and The League.

Like many single parents, “I want to be in love again,” he says. “Getting divorced comes at the end of a long period of unhappiness, so it’s been a while since I’ve been able to have joy in a relationship. I want that joy again. I also think sex with a single mom is the best sex you can have. Divorced people have spent a lot of time in their marriage thinking about the kind of sex they wish they could have, so when they get a second chance, they don’t waste it.”

Like many single parents, he has a rule that his son doesn’t meet anyone until he’s been dating them for at least six months. “You don’t want the child to get attached, especially to the kids of the person you’re dating,” he says. “In many cases, including mine, your kid is going to wish you were still with their mom, so you just need to accept that they’re probably not going to be thrilled you’re bringing new people around.”

That concern for his son’s well-being and connecting with other single parents inspired his new podcast with co-host Lili Zarghami. “I started doing stand-up comedy and talking about being a single dad was so freeing,” Mebus says. “People would come up to me and tell me they were in a similar boat. That really felt good since single dads, especially, don’t talk about it much. Single dads and single moms don’t often reach out to each other, even though they have a lot to teach one another.

He reached out to Zarghami, a former co-worker, when he learned she was divorced. “She is so honest and funny and turns our conversations into these great push-pull journeys,” he says. “We start every episode with a ‘Parenting Fail of the Week,’ and then we forgive each other. It’s so important that single parents, and really all parents, see that no one is perfect, that everyone is just doing their best.”

Mebus’ dating advice: “Slow down and have fun. Use dating as an excuse to do fun things you wouldn’t otherwise do. Go to a show. Have a great meal in a nice restaurant. Have a little weird sex. Use dating as a tool to rediscover yourself. We have so little time that we should be multitasking with our dates. Meet a fun new person and cross something off your bucket list. And if you don’t find love any time soon, so what? At least you had fun before your next PTA meeting.”

Michele Raphael is a culture, lifestyle and travel writer based in Los Angeles. Find her @michelebraphael on Instagram.

For more on dating while parenting, check out Michele’s “Dating Apps and Matchmaking: A Singe Parent’s Guide to Finding Love.”