For the last few years, I’ve had a Mother’s Day solo staycation ritual. I find some sweet, local hotel and “clock out” of my mothering duties for 24 hours. But this year, life has been so busy much because I am a mother, that the thought of leaving home for a day itself felt incredibly stressful. When Momcozy invited me to a Mother’s Day Mini Wellness Retreat, I thought this is the perfect way to get a little “me” time without missing anyone’s bedtime.
Christina, a professional sound healer, welcomed us moms and moms-to-be into a cozy room where we were invited to lay down and rest, a word she repeated often throughout our hour sound bath and meditation. We were greeted by “The Art of Rest Gift Box” designed by local artist—and new mom—Amber Vittoria at the top of our mats. The gifts, a cozy blanket, sleep mask, etc. were lovely, but I was more in awe of how this new mom managed to make art during this demanding time of motherhood.
You could feel the buzzy energy in the room, partly because we were excited to steal a moment to ourselves and to connect with fellow moms, without our attention divided by small children, and party because it’s hard to let go of responsibility.
“I couldn’t turn off my to-do list for the first 20 minutes!” a mom behind me exclaimed. “Oh my god, me too,” another mom replied. This is why Christina had to echo “rest” until, like an earworm, we couldn’t ignore it. Through various crystal sound bowls and other instruments, she calmed our buzzing bodies and minds to settle into the deep rest us parents so desperately need.
After the sound bath, we had our personal aura photography portraits taken, and then a reading by professional aura photographer Danielle. I learned my dominant aura is orange, linked to the sacral chakra, which is connected to creative energy and adventure. When Danielle interpreted my aura, she asked me, “Why are you so hard on yourself?” I could feel the tears well up. Granted, self-criticism is not reserved to those with orange auras. She probably could’ve asked any mom in that room, and they would’ve felt seen just the same.
We are too hard on ourselves, maintaining unrealistic expectations of what it means to be a mom. I know I can’t “do it all” and yet I still expect that I can: be a good parent and a good partner, have a social life, make art. I asked Amber, the artist, how does she do it. I love asking all artists who mother this question. And their answers are similar: I don’t know.
Somehow, between cleaning bottles or chaperoning field trips, pick-ups and drop offs, they pick up the paint brush or the pen, they open the lap top and try to pick up where they left off. It’s the opposite of creative flow. It’s akward, perhaps not ideal, but they do it anyway. And so do I.
