As a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with children and families, I witness many parents trying to make positive changes in their family’s lives with the start of each new year.
And those attempts start at the end of the preceding year, when they are worried about how to help their kids get the most out of the long winter break. This desire for improvement and productivity is understandable. However, the number one thing I remind parents of is that breaks are crucial. A great analogy is that of a vehicle. Imagine what would happen to a vehicle if it ran nonstop without a break for maintenance. It is imperative that children have some fun and give their bodies and brains some rest. There should be a noticeable difference from the everyday hustle and bustle they are accustomed to during the rest of the year.
Easing back into routines
To help your child get back into a routine and keep that spark of energy throughout the school year, encourage curiosity and be sure to always reinforce engagement in learning and working toward goals.
Emphasize that even with mundane activities, there are opportunities to absorb new information and apply it. For example, you and your child can watch fun, educational content together. In fact, my family created Gracie’s Corner TV to provide learning content that is fun and engaging for younger children. At its core, it is inclusivity and “edu-tainment” for children from all backgrounds. It allows families to bond and have “dance parties” while their child learns.
Setting SMART goals
I encourage setting goals for the new year, but I emphasize goals that are SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-based). Goal setting is particularly important because research suggests that preset goals lead to increased output, versus starting something without a target goal in mind.
It’s important to not overwhelm your child. Have them work on no more than two things at a time. Start small so children can easily achieve success, which research indicates reinforces them to work toward more challenging goals.
While your child works toward goals, make your support for them obvious. Provide frequent encouragement. Observe your children and let them know you are paying attention. While doing so, comment on what you observed and reinforce/praise the things they are doing well or you would like to see more of (e.g., making an attempt at something challenging).
They don’t have to complete a task or get it all the way right to receive positive feedback. It is just as important to reinforce approximations toward a target outcome. Doing this consistently not only helps to shape behaviors, but will build your child’s confidence and sense of self-efficacy, which are both positively correlated with mental health.
Your kids are watching you
Finally, remember that children are always watching. One of the best ways to help your child start the year out strong is to model the behavior you hope to see in them. Research suggests that modeling is a major way that children learn behavior. This is why it is important that you set a good example. Let your child observe you set and strategically work toward goals daily.
Remember that in addition to goal setting, productivity can be greatly increased by previewing the process and organizing resources and materials before you get started, self-monitoring and adjusting to feedback. Make your process as explicit and overt as possible so they can pick up on it.
And it’s OK to let your child see you fall short, so long as you also demonstrate the process of coping and trying again with a new plan of attack based on what you learned from the first attempt.
Gracie’s Corner is a YouTube animated sing-along series featuring an adolescent Black girl named Gracie singing and dancing to fun tunes on topics ranging from the ABC’s to loving one’s hair. The series was created by father and daughter duo Javoris Hollingsworth, Ph.D., and Graceyn Hollingsworth. Arlene Hollingsworth, Ph.D., uses her psychology background to aid in the development of programming.
