In these challenging times, raising emotionally healthy children can feel like a fleeting fairytale. Below, Jenna Haeflinger-Kurtz, a licensed marriage and family therapist and the director of Early Intervention & Community Wellness at Wellnest, shares some tips for nurturing our children’s well-being, navigating tough emotions and creating a supportive home environment.

In addition to programs for children, Wellnest runs a comprehensive maternal mental health program featuring specialized therapy through its home visitation program to support people experiencing postpartum depression, anxiety, birth trauma and the emotional complexities of parenting. Rooted in trauma-informed, culturally responsive care, the services create a safe space for mothers to heal, Haeflinger-Kurtz says.

Moms are still the primary caregivers. How can they be supported so their well-being is also maintained?

Self-care is essential, not selfish. I encourage moms to find time for themselves — whether it’s a quiet morning coffee, a hair or nail appointment, maybe a yoga class or a dinner with a friend. And it doesn’t have to be elaborate. Even setting boundaries, like putting your phone away during a meal or taking a short walk alone, can help recharge your energy. 

What are the critical components of wellness for young kids that parents should be aware of?

In early childhood, it is important children and parents understand that emotions are part of a child’s daily life. We all experience joy, excitement, frustration, sadness, disappointment and anger. Children gradually develop skills over time to manage the continuum of emotions. Here are a few critical components of wellness:

• Teaching children that all their feelings, from joy and happiness to frustration and sadness — are perfectly normal. We want to help them to name what they feel.
• We want to encourage our children to use calming strategies like deep breathing or finding a nice, quiet space when they feel overwhelmed.
• As parents, we always want to be a reliable source of safety and comfort when our children face challenges, whether it’s starting at a new daycare or experiencing a new sibling’s arrival. A hug or reassuring words go a long way to build trust and security.
• During our busy schedules, it is important to take a minute to slow down and see situations from your child’s point of view. Their meltdowns aren’t just misbehavior — they are working through big emotions with their still-developing brains.

What are some types of traumas that you see in young children, and how do you address them?

When we think about trauma in early childhood, it’s important to remember that trauma isn’t just about what happens to a child; it’s about how they experience it.

Some of the most common types of trauma we see in young children include the loss of a loved one, exposure to violence, neglect or abuse, separation from a caregiver and highly stressful life events: a parent’s serious illness, homelessness or major disruptions in their environment. Even things like frequent moves or instability at home can feel very traumatic to a young child who craves stability, predictability and safety.

The impact of trauma can show up in different ways. Some children become more withdrawn or anxious, while others might show more aggressive or defiant behavior. Sleep issues, frequent tantrums or difficulty separating from a caregiver can also be signs of distress.

But with the right support and services, young children are incredibly resilient. The key to healing is a strong, secure relationship with a trusted caregiver. That’s why, at Wellnest, we focus on working with both the child and their caregiver, using child-parent psychotherapy (CPP), an evidence-based approach designed specifically for young children who have experienced trauma.

Through this therapy, we help parents and children process difficult experiences together in a way that builds trust, strengthens their bond and helps the child feel safe again. We focus on emotional regulation, attachment and communication, giving parents the tools to support their child through tough emotions and create an environment where they can heal. An example of this is a technique that we use often here at Wellnest: “rainbow breathing.” Rainbow breathing starts with asking the child to focus on their breath and imagine a rainbow. As they take each breath, they will breathe up the arc, starting with the color red, and then breathe down the arc, continuing on until they have gone through all the colors of the rainbow. The wonderful thing about this simple exercise is it can be done anywhere.

Ultimately, the goal of therapy is to make the parent-child relationship the child’s greatest source of security and resilience. No child should have to navigate trauma alone — and no parent should feel like they have to figure it all out on their own, either. With the right support, families can heal together.

Can you give us some hands-on practical tips on how parents can enhance their child’s daily well-being?

One of the best ways to help children develop emotional awareness is through storytelling and books. Reading together not only builds literacy but also gives kids language for their emotions. If a child is struggling with transitions, a book about starting preschool can help them feel understood. If they’ve recently lost a pet or loved one, a book about grief can open up space for conversation.

Another powerful tool is modeling emotions and coping strategies. Young children look to us to understand how to handle big feelings. I always encourage parents to share their own emotions in an age-appropriate way. For example, after a tough day, you might say, “I felt really frustrated at work today, so I took some deep breaths and went for a walk to help myself feel better.” This helps kids see that emotions are normal and that there are ways to manage them.

Movement and play are also key. Thankfully, L.A. is full of opportunities for outdoor adventures. Whether it’s exploring a local park or just running barefoot in the backyard, movement helps kids regulate their emotions. Sensory play — like playing with sand at the beach, splashing in water or using playdough — can also be calming for children, giving them an outlet to work through big emotions.

What do you wish all parents knew?

I wish parents knew — really knew — that they are doing an amazing job! We are constantly bombarded with messages telling us we need to do more: more activities, more enrichment, more organic meals, more quality time, more perfection.

What I want parents to know is that good enough is truly good enough. Children don’t need perfect parents. They need parents who love them, who show up and who are willing to grow alongside them. They need parents who will make mistakes and then model what it looks like to repair, because that’s real life.