Advice for L.A. parents of toddlers.
Toddler
Adventures in SoCal’s Zoos: Planning your Attack with Toddlers
Taken by a weeklong sweep of toddler nagging, a few Saturdays ago we took our kids, Hank and Leo, to the San Diego Zoo. “Why do we keep going up and down so much?” Hank, who is 4, kept asking as we climbed hills to reach the zoo. My wife, Kate, and I glanced at one another: “How are we going to do this?” There’s something about going to the...
7 Preschool Problems and Tips on How to Solve Them
Preschool can be daunting for parents. Your child seems to enter new phases every day. It’s an exciting time, but when behaviors crop up, it can be difficult to know what’s age-appropriate and what needs more attention. Maybe your kid is a bit of a bully, a biter or has a hard time at drop-off. Do you have a ringleader, or a kid who has trouble making friends? What if...
7 Steps to Becoming a Well-Behaved Parent
Are you a well-behaved parent? We are all so concerned about our children's behavior, yet so often we act like jerks to our kids. We lose our patience with them, yell at them, tell them what to do without saying “please” or “thank you,” change the TV channel without asking, tell them to move when we want to sit somewhere and expect them to have cleanliness and discipline skills we do...
Mike and Heather Spohr: Survival of the Fittest for Parents of Toddlers
If you love “The Walking Dead” but have young children at home, you’ve probably fallen behind in your consumption of the zombie show – or anything like it. Next time you tuck your tot in, get your fix via a hilarious parody of zombie survival guides: “The Toddler Survival Guide.” Written by husband and wife Mike and Heather Spohr, the book will get you cackling out loud and might give...
Any Given Sunday: A One-Act about Brunch in Los Angeles
On Sunday, Kate and Isaac Parfrey are awakened by Leo, whose cry pierces through their Westside bungalow. Kate retrieves the 1-year-old and the squeal stops immediately. Silence. Beautiful silence. 6 a.m.: Kate: “Oh no you don’t. You’re getting up, too.” Isaac’s attempt to sleep in is thwarted. He rises and prepares two pots of coffee, one for each catatonic parent. 7 a.m.: Hank, a 3-year-old boy going on 16, approaches...
Support Your Child’s Development With Sensory Play
From birth all the way through childhood, children use their senses to build nerve connections and make sense of the world around them. Sensory input provides children with the necessary brain feedback to develop their gross motor, fine motor, language, social emotional and even cognitive skills. Because of its important role in development, sensory play is vital for every child. Unfortunately, with the increase in technology usage and our busy...
Millennial Dad in Los Angeles: Hairy Situations, Toddler Style
This column is about style. I know it exists – even after we enter parenthood. Plenty of Millennials have it. All one has to do is walk around the Silver Lake Reservoir on a Sunday morning and watch the hipster daddies somehow make mustaches, macchiatos and mastiffs work with their perfectly quaffed hair. But me? I feel like I need a makeover. Between diaper changes and tantrum-preventive negotiations, this papa...
5 Tips for Protecting Your Children During Your Divorce
So, you have arrived at the difficult decision to end your marriage, a decision with which you struggled. How will you break the news to your son or daughter? How will you feel when you do not see your child every day? How will your child feel when he or she does not see you each day? What can you do to assuage the emotional impact the divorce will have...
On Having More Kids: When Baby Makes Four
The decision to have a child is one of the most momentous people can make. Those who venture down that path undertake lifestyle changes that transform every aspect of their financial, social and personal lives for decades to come. An equally momentous transition can be the one from one child to two. Add a sibling and you’re upending things for yourself, your co-parent and your first child. While parents bond...
The Big Emotions of Little Ones
A child’s social-emotional development during the first five years of life will affect their ability to function in school, respond to stress, adapt to change, persist in challenging situations and form meaningful relationships throughout life. Unfortunately, there is often an emphasis on promoting children’s cognitive growth in the early years, with limited attention paid to strengthening their capacity to manage emotions. Infants rely on sensitive and responsive caregiving to modulate...
Preschools in Los Angeles: 9 Things Your Child Should Learn
Last fall, as I watched my son run down the walkway toward his new kindergarten classroom, I noticed that he appeared tinier than usual. I looked at the other children, products of preschools in Los Angeles, flowing past him and realized that he was, in fact, considerably smaller than most of them. As his R2-D2 backpack flapped against the backs of his knees, I wondered whether we had made a...
Having the Race Talk with Kids: Parenting Resources by Age
I grew up in a small paper-mill town in central Louisiana during the late 1970s and ’80s – a time still rife with the lingering effects of segregation. My family lived on what folks called “the black side of town.” On the bus ride across town to school every morning, my friends and I fawned over the beautiful houses that decorated the better-paved streets in other neighborhoods, and I envisioned...
Tackling the Toddler Road Trip
It’s the stuff of teeth grinding and stress-induced headaches, a prospect that makes your average parent hysterically bargain for alternatives. Yes, I am referring to road trips with kids. I have an irrational fear of flying, so my young family – wife Kate, 2-year-old Hank and baby Leo – and I take the challenge head-on. I live for the open road and freedom on terra firma. My family road-trip goal...
Aligning Your Kids’ Enrichment With Your Big-Picture Goals
My 7-year-old son is a joiner. He plays Little League, basketball and dances in a hip-hop class. When the brochure for after-school enrichment comes home in his backpack, he pores over the choices, circling everything that interests him. This past year, he tried drum lessons, skateboarding, game design and cooking. I love his enthusiasm, but almost every day I see articles online about the dangers of having overscheduled kids. Am...
Kids and Chores: In Defense of the Sticker Chart
There are quite a few online articles and posts about kids and rewards that speak to the dangers of sticker charts, behavior charts, reward systems or anything that involves external compensation for kids doing things that they are just supposed to do. The problem, some argue, is that if kids get used to being rewarded with prizes, they will come to expect it and only do things when there is...
A Divorce Lawyer’s Tips for Parenting Through Kid Conflict
Tara Scott is a former Brentwood divorce lawyer – with a 3-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter – so she knows a thing or two about parenting through conflict. Now a family mediator in Beverly Hills, Scott has found that things she learns in her mommy-and-me group help in mediation and that her mediation skills apply at home. Here are some of her tips for wading into a disagreement between your...
Looking Beyond The Supermarket Aisle For Your Baby’s First Foods
Next time you walk around your favorite supermarket, take a moment to study the food on the shelves. For the most part, it will reflect the tastes and preferences of the people who buy there. Dominating will be the most popular brands and the most popular types of food, the best sellers for that particular chain and that particular location. But if you shift your gaze to the people walking...
Hitting the Beach for Summer Fun Hollywood Style
To many of us in and around Los Angeles, summer fun at the beach is an afterthought, only beckoning when the inland heat calls for relief. A friend from Studio City once referred to it as “the great A/C unit to the west.” Out-of-towners often accuse us of taking our 75 miles of Pacific coastline for granted. And they're right. I'm feeling especially salty at the moment because I recently...
Nine Tips for Tackling Tantrums
Tantrums are a common childhood experience, particularly if you are parenting kids ages 18 months to 4. When a child begins yelling, crying, kicking, whining and complaining that is out of proportion to an incident or situation, it can be frustrating, uncomfortable or embarrassing for parents or caregivers – especially when this behavior is displayed outside the home in front of bystanders. Parents may feel puzzled about how to act...
Toddle and Spin at Baby DJ School
For a unique musical experience, visit Baby DJ School in Santa Monica or West Hollywood. Run by enthusiastic teacher Anna Wallace (also known as “DJ Annie Wonder”), this isn’t your typical children’s music class with guitars, pianos and drums. Instead, kids ages 2 months to 5 years are introduced to faders, laptops, vinyl records, turntables and other DJ equipment. The 45-minute lessons also feature one-of-a-kind songs such as “Makin’ our...
How to Spot a Developmentally Appropriate Preschool
It's spring and if you have a young child, there's a good chance that preschool is on your mind. If you want to find the right place for fall 2017, I recommend that you start your search now. Good schools fill up quickly! There are plenty of things to consider when choosing a preschool. Clearly, proximity to home or work is a biggie as are cost, hours of operation and...
The Millennial Dad Takes on Alternative Transportation
I am sitting with Hank in a Nippon Sharyo (which literally means Japanese vehicle) cab, model P865. This pantographed workhorse – a Los Angeles Metro train with a electric-current-collector on top – is here because of years of painstaking negotiations and political savvy, an effort by L.A. officials to create a more attractive cityscape while simultaneously curbing carbon emissions and alleviating traffic congestion. I have fantasized about a train connecting...
When the News Is Scary or Confusing
Editor's note: This is an update of a 2015 article which, sadly, is still quite relevant and timely. Television, radio, newspapers and social media bring us news of terrorist attacks and tragedy on a daily basis. And too often, as in the case of a shooting Monday (April 10, 2017) at North Park Elementary school in San Bernardino, the news is much closer to home. How can parents begin to...
Millennial Dad: A Voyage of Selfie Discovery
What’s wrong with me? What am I doing clutching my 2-year-old in this chokehold as I attempt to aim my phone at our two duck-lipped faces? Can’t he have a normal “mirror” phase like any other pre-Kardashian child? Profound parental – no, human – guilt confronts me. I know this is wrong, base, tacky. But I need Hank to stare into my smart phone and smile. Smile! C’mon, smile! Instead,...
Beyond Saying Sorry: A More Meaningful Path to Conflict Resolution
“Say ‘I’m sorry’ and mean it!” How many times have we told our kids to apologize for saying or doing something hurtful to someone else? Honestly, forcing my 5-year-old, Sofia, to apologize in the heat of the moment makes me feel better as a parent. But when she doesn’t mean it, I feel guilty because I believe it’s a poor lesson to make her say empty words without meaning. After...
Digital vs. Analog: At-Home Learning Activities for Kids
Technology gives parents more ways than ever to provide a rich and engaging home learning environment for their kids. But how much is too much? Is it better to go “old-school” with plenty of books, journals to fill, and hands-on activities? Or is it best to be future-focused and provide the latest tablet computer and learning programs? Staying Hands-On Patti Clark, vice president of product development at Lakeshore, advocates for...
5 Common-Sense Tips For Raising Great Kids
It’s the middle of January and many of us have broken our New Year’s Resolutions and are back to who we were in December. For parents who are looking for a way to raise their children to be respectful, likeable, and successful adults it’s not too late. Here are 5 philosophical tips that will pay dividends for years to come including: Teach your kids to leave a trail of people...
Depression in Moms Goes Beyond Baby Blues
“I’m depressed.” How often have we heard a fellow mom say that? We commiserate, give her a hug and move on. After all, the phrase is used quite casually these days. It might indicate sadness – the loss of a job, the death of a loved one or a sense of stagnation – or it might indicate hormonal shifts. Unless that mom says she has been clinically diagnosed with depression, there is a chance we won’t treat her comment with gravitas, ask questions or steer her toward professional help. Experts say we should. Depression in moms is not always definable, not always evident, not always diagnosed. Women suffer from mood...
Mommy-and-Me Groups Offer Friendship and Support
When my son was an infant, I sought out a therapist. “I need someone straightforward to talk to about new baby/marriage/work stress,” I explained when asking a counselor friend for a recommendation. I told her my son was 4 months old and she responded with great empathy, “Oh, you’re right in the middle of it.” “It,” as I was to learn, is that period when your child’s needs are all-encompassing...
Small Books With a Big Mission for Multilingual Kids
Board books and babies just go together. But when L.A. moms Patty Rodriguez and Ariana Stein shopped for their little ones, they didn’t find any that reflected the Latino culture they grew up with. “We both knew there was something missing for our children,” says Rodriguez. Best friends since childhood, the two worked together to create Lil Libros, a line of simple board books that teach letters, numbers, shapes and...
Hottest Trends and Products from the ABC Baby & Kids Expo
What’s the hottest trends for baby and tots this year? Well, we found the world’s smallest stroller, a glider that reclines and charges your cell phone, colorful silicon food storage made even better and whimsical teepee tents to add some fun to your playroom. We’re back from the ABC Baby & Kids Expo, the largest juvenile-products trade show in North America, where we had an exclusive first look at all...
Finding Diversity in Children’s Books
Five Easy Ways to Find Inclusive Reads Your Kids Will Love “There were tons of brown kids just like me running around the neighborhood where I grew up in East L.A. in the mid-90s, but I never came across a single book about anyone who looked like me until high school,” says Julia Casas, youth services librarian for the Santa Monica Public Library’s Ocean Park Branch. When Casas, a Latina,...
Positive Parenting: Experts Answer Your Questions For Early Childhood
We hear it all the time, and yet we can’t hear it often enough: Children’s early years matter. Your child’s first interactions with you and with others, the environment you create for your family, and your child’s earliest educational experiences influence how your child’s brain is built, and set the tone for her or his relationships with others and future learning. The idea can feel overwhelming, but by asking yourself...
A Family Legacy Worth Leaving Behind
It is a day I will never forget – Christmas 2013 in snowy Chicago, and my parents were visiting from Texas. Christmas carols were playing, festive food and decorated cookies were on the table, and I had buttery egg nog in hand and a big smile on my face as I sat to watch my then 2-year-old daughter, Sofia, open her first gift from under our tree. The first package...
Where to Find the Perfect Toy Truck Around LA
Hank is a 1-year-old gear jockey. He bounces with a kind of Strauss waltz-like ebullience when a wheel positions itself in his field of vision. I have no scientific data to back this up, but he seems to possess a nimble radar for all things automotive, almost like a shark sensing a floundering adolescent seal on a lazy current. Having witnessed my toddler son’s wide-eyed enthusiasm for all things with...
On the Record: What Mom Really Wants for Mother’s Day
Every year when my husband asks, "What do you want for Mother's Day?" I always respond exactly the same way: “Amor, I don't need a Mother's Day gift. My kids are enough." But wait a minute, who am I kidding? I do want something! Why do I feel guilty admitting that I secretly want something for Mother’s Day? Is it because I feel like I should not get a gift...
Take Time, Talk: Eight Ways to Support Your Child’s Language Development
Like a snowball growing as it rolls downhill, young children’s vocabulary expands faster and faster as they hear more words. However, a constant stream of words from the radio or even an educational children’s video won’t create this cumulative advantage in language processing. Instead, social interaction (the back-and-forth, turn-taking nature of conversation) and talking with infants and toddlers will build their language and communication skills. This might seem easier said...
6 Most Common Sleep Training Myths Debunked
Have you ever stopped to think about what the definition of “sleep training” really is? Unfortunately, several incorrect sleep training stereotypes exist, suggesting that the practice requires parents to do everything from shutting the door on an 8-week-old baby for 12 hours, to eliminating nighttime feedings, to surrendering your family values to a sleep trainer who stays overnight at your home for several weeks. As a sleep consultant, I’ve heard...
Doc Talk: Why There Are No Accidents
The other day, a 9-year-old came in to the emergency department with an elbow fractured in a way that required a surgical repair with metal pins, and a cut across the middle of his forehead that required plastic surgery. He had tried to skateboard down six stairs. In emergency medicine, we don’t call these “accidents,” because the injuries that happen by accident are almost always preventable. And the key to...
Building Your Baby’s Brain
Your earliest interactions with your child set the foundation for future learning A few moms sit on the floor of a bright, airy playroom at Well Baby Center in L.A. with their 1-year-olds toddling nearby. Facilitators, family therapist interns who are Masters-level graduate students, move among the toys, babies and moms. Each time a baby approaches an adult, she or he is engaged in back-and-forth play. Each giggle or squeal...
Driving, Dreaming and Daytime Napping in L.A.
How to waste gasoline in style while putting your baby to sleep I’m leaping over speed bumps, cruising the potholed boulevards and aimlessly wandering the canyon roads. I have no destination and am often jammed in a traffic-laden city artery, but I have not an ounce of road rage, lane pain or street defeat. No, I’m delighted, because Hank is still asleep in the back seat. When you have a...
Read Aloud Like a Rock Star
Seven Secrets from Voice-Over Actors, Teachers and Literacy Experts Early in my time volunteering with BookPALS (Performing Artists for Literacy in Schools), I picked up my first valuable lesson on what not to do when reading to kids. On that fresh, September morning, my read-aloud selection for the 20 eager third graders gathered before me at Paseo del Rey Elementary in Playa del Rey was an educational but – in...
A Plea for More Old-Fashioned Play
Happy New Year! Like many of you I also had a busy holiday season. This week, our kids were ready to go back to school, the house is slowly getting back to normal and routine is kicking in. If you are like our family, many gifts were given and received, especially anything that was device- or game-oriented. As a parent, educator and advocate for wellness and vitality, I have to...
Hot Wheelers Comes to Outside the Box
Wheelchair accessibility and new classes are part of the learning center’s expansion. Outside the Box opened its first 500-square-foot storefront in 2009. The center, devoted to sensory activities that contribute to brain development for ages 8 weeks to 6 years, has expanded a couple of times over the years, and always made good use of the space. There were bubbles. There was paint. There were musical instruments, giggles and squeals....
Mary McNamara: A Mom With a Critical Eye on TV
Mary McNamara took on her job as television critic at The Los Angeles Times in 2009. The mother of three – Danny Stayton, 17; Fiona Stayton, 15 and Darby Stayton, 9 – had been a features writer and editor at The Times for 18 years when she was offered the job. “My question was, ‘Can I work from home?’ And they said, ‘Oh yeah, you’ll have to.’ If I didn’t...
Are Those Toys Safe, Ducky?
The baby board book, featuring lots of colors and textures meant to stimulate developing brains, was labeled “organic.” Josh Kasteler tested it anyway, and found that the packaging contained such a high level of phthalates – chemicals widely believed to disrupt hormone levels – that it contaminated the book as well. Kasteler, a biochemist and molecular biologist who founded Santa Monica-based Safe Ducky (www.safeducky.com) in June, tests toys and other...
Keeping It Real For Your Child Actor
Every parent is proud of their little darling’s accomplishments, from the finger paintings on the refrigerator to – in the case of some of our Hollywood-bred children – the National commercial airing during the Super Bowl. We adults recognize the difference between these two accomplishments, but kids might feel much more excited about their artwork on the fridge than about the day they spent on set eating cereal. And that’s...
Dr. Shefali Tsabary: Promoting ‘Conscious’ Parenting
Becoming a parent changes us in the most profound and irrevocable ways, and it is often our children who motivate and inspire us to grow into our best selves. Through everyday interactions and ordinary moments, we have the opportunity to create a meaningful connection with our children and nurture a deep sense of resilience, tolerance and self-acceptance in them. But first we need to better understand ourselves, says Shefali Tsabary,...
What To Do When Your Kids Argue
Sibling rivalry is one of the most discussed topics in my practice. “How do I get my children to stop fighting? How do I help them get along?” No matter what the age difference between the children, this is an area of no escape. Common areas of conflict include siblings sharing rooms, siblings being rude to one another and siblings arguing when a friend is over. And when rivalries flare...
How to Choose a Child-Centered Preschool
Extensive research shows that attending preschool helps children develop social and emotional skills, improves their reading and language development, and gives them the opportunity to make decisions and ask questions in a safe environment. Regardless of their socio-economic status, race or location, children who have attended preschool are more likely to graduate high school and attend college, and less likely to repeat a grade, have substance-abuse problems or commit a...
Have a Fabulous Fiesta Birthday!
Lucky and I love throwing parties, celebrating with friends, laughing, drinking and eating. Lucky is the chef of the house and I am the party planner – but neither of us likes doing the dishes! Here are our tips for a great fiesta with plenty of fun ideas for kids: Mix up the guest list. Invite your most fun friends and your most interesting friends. Sometimes, these are the same...
Stop Over-Parenting and Raise An Adult
In recent years, there has been a lot of talk in the media, at PTA meetings and among parents and educators on the effects of helicopter parenting – knowing when to step in to help and when to allow children to do things for themselves. A new book by Julie Lythcott-Haims does a great job exploring the topic of over-parenting and its detrimental effects on young adults. How to Raise...
Teaching Kids To Speak Up
My daughter is lost in play with a friend, and I watch as her eyes suddenly fix on the floor beneath her. The conversation is quiet and I can’t quite make out the words between them, but I can sense from her posture that she doesn’t want to speak up. The path of least resistance tends to be her favorite path, even if it means pushing her own ideas and...
Don’t Neglect Essential Social-Skills Development
“Don’t miss the forest for the trees,” so the saying goes. When it comes to parenting, the “trees” are the many academic milestones and measuring sticks society tends to focus on, and the “forest” is the bigger picture of overall development and social skills in our children. Society tends to be achievement oriented and, once children reach ages 3 to 5, their ability to verbalize, add, subtract and write takes...
Keep Tabs on Children’s Product Recalls
Maria L. recently searched a swap meet for the perfect stroller for her baby, due in a couple of weeks. When she settled on one to purchase, Maria had no idea that the item was on a Consumer Products Safety Commission (CPSC) list of recalled products known to cause injury and deaths. Recently, to help Maria save money, her family and friends also gave her used baby items that they...
Taking the Perfect Family Photo: Photographers Give Their Advice
With summer under way, families are getting together for barbecues, pool parties and outdoor adventures, and taking advantage of all these summer activities to stage family photos. Family portraits can get a little stressful, especially since there is always that one person in the group who feels like taking pictures is not for them. Whether you have little ones who get fussy and don’t want to pose, a relative who...
Finding Quality Childcare in L.A.
Choosing a childcare provider can be one of the most important decisions parents can make, particularly during the years before a child starts kindergarten. The number of available options can be overwhelming, and it is easy to be tempted to go with the first recommendation from a friend or neighbor. But experts warn that a childcare solution that works for one family might not work for yours. Here are some...
The Value of Pretend Play
By Patti Rommel, Director of Research and Development at Lakeshore Learning Materials Does your child love to dress up as a fearless superhero and conquer menacing villains, or reenact a scene from his or her favorite movie with friends? Maybe your little one can transform a cardboard box into a bottomless treasure chest … with just his or her imagination! If so, your child is engaging in pretend play, an...
Mothers Together
Joining a moms’ group can help forge connections and support By Elena Epstein Michelle Turner says the best advice she received while pregnant with her twin daughters was from a co-worker, advising her to join a moms’ group. She found the West L.A. chapter of the National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs and signed up. Her daughters, Coco and Aya, are now 3 years old and the moms in...