From medical records and passwords to wills and final wishes, getting important family information organized can help parents prepare for emergencies and care for aging loved ones.
By CJ Osmena
Pew Research Center found 54% of Americans in their 40s have both a parent over age 65 and a child who depends on them.
Jeff Stoller built StoreMyLife after his brother died alone in his mid-40s. The online platform pairs a HIPAA-compliant, bank-level encrypted digital vault with the CARE System, an active check-in that reaches designated contacts if a user is ever found unresponsive. Most families still have no single place for a will, insurance details and passwords.
If you didn’t call your parents to wish them a Happy New Year, how long would it take before they started to worry? And if they didn’t call you, how long would it take before you knew something was wrong?
For Jeff Stoller’s family, the answer was five days.
Every New Year’s, Jeff’s brother David called their mother. Then one year, the call didn’t come. At first there was no reason to think the worst. People get busy. A call gets forgotten.
The silence continued.
After five days, their mother called Jeff. Something wasn’t right, she told him, and she needed him to find out what had happened. Her instincts were right. David was only in his mid-40s and he had been living alone. He had a heart attack and passed away. And no one knew.
Grief Doesn’t Pause for Paperwork
There is the grief that comes with losing someone unexpectedly, and then there are the questions that arrive almost immediately afterward. It isn’t that anyone could have prevented it. Still, there is something instinctively wrong about the idea that someone you love could be gone for days before anyone knows.
Medical records. Passwords. Final wishes. All of it was needed before anything could move forward. Nobody should have to piece together scattered information before they’ve had time to process what happened.
While Jeff was still processing the loss of his brother, one of his closest friends died. His friend was in his mid-40s too, and living alone. No one knew exactly when he died because it was a few days before he was discovered.
And Then He Looked at His Own Life
Two deaths, close together, left Jeff thinking about something he had never considered. He lived alone, too.
The question wasn’t whether someone could reach him in time to save him. It was something more basic.
How long would it take for anyone to know? A day? Five days? Longer?
That was the question Jeff couldn’t shake. He wasn’t looking for a guarantee that someone could save him. He wanted to know that if one day he simply stopped responding, someone would notice.
Then a second question followed. If something did happen, where would his family find the information they needed, and how would the right people get it?
Give someone everything now, and you give up privacy and control. Hide it somewhere secure and the people who need it may never find it. Leave it in a drawer, a folder, or a safe-deposit box and it may be lost, destroyed or found by the wrong person.
So He Built It Himself
Jeff couldn’t change what had happened, but he could address the two questions those losses left him with.
The first was the one he couldn’t shake. How long would it take before anyone knew?
That became the CARE System. On a schedule the user chooses, StoreMyLife sends a check-in text. After clicking the link within the text, they click one more button to confirm they’re OK and the system resets.
If there is no response, the system alerts their primary contact. The primary contact can select whether the user is OK, had a medical emergency or passed away.
CARE isn’t a promise that someone will arrive in time to save you. Its purpose is simpler. Unexplained silence doesn’t continue unnoticed.
The second question was what people would need once they knew. That became StoreMyLife’s digital vault, HIPAA-compliant and bank-level encrypted, holding medical, legal, financial and personal information in a place that doesn’t depend on anyone finding the right drawer.
Users decide who gets what. Your daughter may need medical information. Your executor may need estate documents. Neither needs access to everything.
One step most platforms would rather not advertise: If a contact reports a death, nothing is released until a death certificate is uploaded. A member of the StoreMyLife team confirms it is genuine. Slower than instant, and the only version worth trusting.
One Afternoon with Your Mother
If your mother were hospitalized tomorrow, would you know what medications she takes or the names of her doctors? If your father died unexpectedly, would you know whom to call, whether he had a will and where to find it?
There is an enormous difference between knowing your parents and knowing where they keep their important information. On the day it matters, one of them lets you be present instead of searching.
Nobody wants to sit down with Mom and announce, “Let’s talk about what happens when you die.” Fortunately, you don’t have to. Ask where she keeps her insurance information, who her doctor is, whether she has a will and where it is. One answer usually leads to another.
The conversation isn’t about death. It’s about making life easier for the people who may someday have to step in.
Start with one question. Ask her who her doctor is.
A Caring Child and a Caring Parent
Parents are used to being the people who know. The pediatrician. The allergy. The appointment. The medication that needs refilling.
For years, showing points in one direction, at the generation that depends on you. Then it starts working in both directions. Your parents get older. And once you’ve asked them those questions, another one follows. Would your children know the answers about you?
How will someone know? And once they know, will they know what to do?
You can’t control when your family will need you, but you can make sure that when that day comes, someone notices and the people you trust have what they need.
L.A. Parent readers can try StoreMyLife free for 30 days at storemylife.com.
This article is educational and is not legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney about estate planning for your own situation.
References
- Pew Research Center. More Than Half of Americans in Their 40s Are “Sandwiched” Between an Aging Parent and Their Own Children. Published April 8, 2022. Survey of 9,676 U.S. adults conducted October 18–24, 2021.
- StoreMyLife. How It Works. TETQ, LLC. Accessed August 2026.
- Data on file. TETQ, LLC.
