Q & A with Venice-based Judith Orloff MD, author of ‘The Highly Sensitive Rabbit’, a children’s book coming out in October.

Tell us a little about yourself and how you became interested in psychiatry and highly sensitive kids and adults in particular?

I was a highly sensitive only child who was raised by two physician-parents. I have twenty-five physicians in my family. So, I grew up in a linear and scientific family. As a child, I was very sensitive, intuitive and easily overwhelmed. For instance, I couldn’t go to shopping malls or crowded places without getting anxious or exhausted. I didn’t realize that as a highly sensitive child I was an emotional sponge for stress, especially in crowds. My ordinarily loving mother responded, “Dear, you don’t have a thick enough skin. You’re too sensitive!” So I grew up believing there was something wrong with me. 

I was attracted to Psychiatry to help legitimize the experiences of highly sensitive children and adults. I went to medical school at USC and completed my psychiatric residency at UCLA. 

In my upcoming book “The Highly Sensitive Rabbit“ I want to help children and their parents release shame about being highly sensitive and embrace their gifts.  The book is also dedicated to the highly sensitive child within us grownups who deserves to be honored too.

What are some of the characteristics of a highly sensitive child? 

Highly sensitive children are precious beings but are frequently misunderstood. They often feel things deeply and are compassionate and good listeners. They tend to be overstimulated by crowds, noise, and stress and need a lot of alone time. They can feel different than other kids and express that they don’t fit in. They may be emotional sponges who take on your stress and other people’s stress and may act out when you’re angry or stressed. They might have one best friend rather than a large group of friends.

What are some of the challenges that these kids face in school, at home, with peers?

Similar to Aurora, the main character in “The Highly Sensitive Rabbit,” at school or at home sensitive kids often get made fun of, or are called “cry babies” or they are bullied.  These children can feel different than other kids because they are overstimulated by noise, loud talking, and prefer a quiet walk in the forest to the chaos of loud video games or violent action films.  

How can parents better support their sensitive children? 

Some tips for nurturing highly sensitive children include encouraging your child’s sensitivities and intuition. Make it clear that not everyone is accepting of these gifts and identify people who might be safe. Listen closely to what your child feels and respect their feelings. Emphasize that sensitivity is something to be proud of. 

Also learn to support them in calming down if they get overstimulated. Allow them to have alone time to decompress. Help your child turn down the dial on stress. 

What unique qualities do sensitive kids have that caregivers and educators should be aware of?

They may care deeply about other people, animals., trees, flowers and the natural world They have strong emotions and may cry more than other kids or feel very sad if a child or animal is suffering. They want to help others and are extremely empathic. But their emotions may overwhelm them and they might have a hard time containing their feelings. Highly sensitive kids must learn to breathe out stress when they are upset and gain self-mastery in calming themselves. Teach them to be aware of when they are absorbing other people’s stress and how to meditate or practice slow breathing to center themselves. Encourage the child to take alone time to be quiet and creative. Parents and caregivers can be emotional stabilizers. One mother told me, “When I’m anxious my sensitive son feels it which destabilizes him and triggers tantrums.” When I’m centered it makes him feel more secure.”

How can parents and teachers better support these qualities?

See your child’s sensitivity as something that Is right with them—there is nothing wrong. However, you may need to nurture them in very specific ways and encourage their perceptions and sensitivities rather than reinforce that being sensitive is something to be ashamed of or that it is a sign of weakness.

What do you wish everyone knew about sensitive kids?

Sensitive kids are a blessing to everyone who meets them. They must learn from the very beginning how wonderful their sensitivities are, but being highly sensitive may require a child to develop some skills to deal with the common challenges. For instance, learning to decompress and calm down when they’re under stress. I hope “The Highly Sensitive Rabbit” helps you and your child experience an added respect for your sensitivities. Be your child’s champion. Teach them to love and accept themselves always.  

Judith Orloff MD is a New York Times bestselling author of the upcoming book “The Highly Sensitive Rabbit,” which tells the story of Aurora, a sensitive, caring cottontail in the Sonoran desert, who learns to accept her gifts as a highly sensitive bunny. More information about Dr. Orloff’s LA events and book available for pre-order now at www.drjudithorloff.com.