Parent with the Planets: How to use astrology to guide your parenting

Published January 8, 2024

By Nina Harada

Nina Harada enjoys some nature time with her daughters, Naomi and Juna. PHOTO BY SAENE HEIDENRIJK PHOTOGRAPHY

Two weeks after I gave birth to my daughter Juna, my sister emailed me the astrological birth charts for my newborn, my 5-year-old daughter, Naomi, and her 2 1/2-year-old daughter, Io.

“FYI, so we know what we’re dealing with,” she wrote. Our daughters are the only children in our extended family, so my sister and I feel an immense pressure to get this parenting thing right. I suppose all parents do. Parenting in the age of social media has given us access to an endless rotation of information, from feeding and sleep guidance to navigating temper tantrums. But sometimes looking down at my tiny, “all-knowing” screen leaves me feeling overstimulated and disconnected from my own intuition.

At my sister’s beckoning, I turned my attention away from my device and up to the black screen that existed millennia before the information highway: the sky.

Astrologer and journalist Maressa Brown is the author of “Raising Baby by the Stars.”

Astrology’s popularity has soared in recent years with apps such as Co-Star and CHANI catering to tech-savvy millennials and Gen Zers seeking tools to aid in their self-improvement and self-care journeys. As these generations are becoming parents, looking to the planets for parenting advice isn’t as far-fetched as it might have sounded 10 years ago.

For L.A.-based journalist, author and astrologer Maressa Brown, who considers herself “a baby raised by the stars,” an astrology parenting book was a natural progression of her career. Brown wrote “Raising Baby by the Stars” to give our generation a chance to feel seen in a way her parents made her feel seen. “Growing up, astrology was basically a household language,” Brown says. A bit of an outlier in his time, her father discovered astrology in 1969 and used his own astrological chart (also called a “birth chart” or “natal chart”) to help guide him in his work in finance and in raising his three kids. At each of their births, he kept a close eye on the clock so he could cast their charts “and have valuable insight into our personalities, perspectives, strengths and challenges” Brown says.

For the novice, trying to understand a birth chart can be intimidating. However, I learned from Brown’s astrological readings on Juna and me to focus on key points — sun, moon and rising signs — as easier gateways to help better understand my kids, myself and my parenting journey.

The “Big Three”

There are 12 zodiac signs: Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces. Each sign has its own symbol, “ruling” planet and ruling house. There are other elements to consider, such as what element or placement the signs are in, but to start, clue into your and your child’s “big three.” To find your child’s sun, moon and rising signs, Brown suggests using the free tool on her website, maressabrown.com, an app or other free charts that will tally up your star and planet placements in seconds.

You will need the exact date (day, month and year) and time of birth, in addition to your place of birth (city, state and country or province). Here is a quick peek into the symbolism of the big three:

Sun Sign: Your core identity or personality. This is what people typically think of as their sign.

Moon Sign: Your emotional compass, or how you want to be nurtured. You can use your child’s moon sign to learn the best way to soothe your child when they are upset.

Rising Sign: Also known as the ascendant, the rising is the sign that was emerging over the eastern horizon at the time of your birth. It indicates your outward personality, skills and talents. Sometimes, this is the sign you can be mistaken for because it’s how you are perceived.

An astrological chart drawing can be accessed for free online.

What your child’s signs say about them

With my firstborn, I was so attuned to her every sound, move and mood that I could tell you exactly what she needed in any given moment. I easily developed a nap and feeding schedule because I was going off her cues. As a Capricorn sun, Naomi thrived with this routine. I’m a Capricorn rising, so I also appreciated the predictability.

Trying to balance parenting a second child, I couldn’t give Juna the same structure and felt guilty that I was failing her in some way. But Brown noted that Juna’s sun is in Pisces, the dreamy and imaginative mutable water sign. Her moon is in Libra, a social, balance-seeking, beauty-loving cardinal air sign. At her core, Juna is an intuitive little dreamer, and her emotional compass leads her to keep the peace no matter what. She is content going with the flow. And I am grateful!

Understanding Juna’s inner world through this lens has given me more confidence in our family dynamic. When Juna joined our family, we already had such a busy schedule, so she had to quicky adapt. With her rising sign in Cancer, a cardinal water sign, she is perceived as sensitive and very maternal and connected to me as her mom. While Naomi was an independent firecracker from the start, I was surprised to find Juna so attached to me, but this is validated by the planets. With this new perspective in mind, I understand my little Pisces needs a calm and centered parent, which, as a Gemini buzzing with ideas and plans, is not my natural inclination.

Brown recommends looking at your child’s sun sign as a starting point for understanding their astrological profile. For example, my eldest is a Capricorn, so I know she takes things seriously and thrives when having a plan. My sister recalls how hard it was to get her to smile as a baby, whereas my empathic little Pisces smiles the moment you just look at her.

Next, look at your child’s moon to gain insight into how you can nurture them best. If their moon is in Sagittarius, like mine is, then they might feel most nurtured by having plenty of opportunities for adventure or new experiences. Sagittarius is a free-spirited, mutable fire sign.

Finally, consider their rising sign to gain insight into their skills, talents and outer self. For instance, as a rising Aries, it is no surprise that Naomi wants to do everything herself and her own way. God forbid I point out her shoes are on the opposite foot! Knowing that the fiery ram is her rising sign gives me a greater understanding of her spirited nature.

What your signs say about you as a parent

With my sun and Venus in Gemini, I am a super-communicator. As a parent, this works to my advantage, as I love to communicate to Naomi the plan for the day (and this makes her Capricorn heart sing) and I love to narrate everything I’m doing to Juna, which is beneficial to her as a baby just learning the world around her. In “Raising Baby by the Stars,” Brown devotes an entire section to parent and child relationships based on your sign, how you two can connect and how you might clash.

As a Gemini parent with a little Capricorn, for instance, we’ll connect in putting in hard work that gets recognized. I noted this when Naomi and I worked together to set the Thanksgiving table last year. After her finishing touches, she beamed: “I’m really proud of myself!” As a Gemini parent with a little Pisces, Juna and I might clash if my go-go-go nature feels too overwhelming to her senses. I noticed this at our recent Thanksgiving. My typically happy-go-lucky baby was very cranky all day, refusing to nap as we frantically got the house together to host 15 family members. Looking back, I should’ve taken quiet breaks with her to soothe and ground her.

Follow your intuition

Since I already had four years of parenting under my belt, I wasn’t nervous giving birth to Juna, but I didn’t take into consideration that those four years primed me to be the best parent to Naomi. Juna is a completely different person, of course!

We are all born into this world as our unique selves and with a unique natal chart. Brown’s reading gave me an additional parenting tool to see and understand my children. Even if you can’t get a professional astrologer’s reading, investigating your own and your child’s charts can provide some extra context for your parenting journey — whether that’s validation or new insight. Not only do I have a better idea of who my little ones are at their core, I understand how to best support, love and connect with them according to the sun, the moon, the stars and my own intuition.

Nina Harada is Digital Editor of L.A. Parent.

Astrology of 2024: What’s in the Stars for Parents?

By Maressa Brown

A few must-know tips — and key dates — for the year ahead.

Embrace major changes and innovation. This spring, we’ll experience a major planetary meetup that hasn’t happened in 13 years! On April 20, Jupiter, the planet of abundance, will join forces with Uranus, the planet of innovation and change, in fixed earth sign Taurus, which could bring stunning, out-of-the- blue shifts, brainstorms and shakeups in the world. Do your best to stay grounded in your relationships with your little one and loved ones while remaining as open-minded and adaptable as you can.

Reflect on your sense of self, balance within partnerships and what fulfills you spiritually. In 2024, there will be four especially powerful new and full moons that occur alongside solar and lunar eclipses, three of which (March 25, April 8 and Oct. 2) occur in go-getter fire sign Aries and diplomatic air sign Libra. These two signs tend to spur reflection around your self-identity and how you’re showing up within your partnerships. In turn, the concept of balance and reciprocity in relationships will be a big focus. Prepare to speak up and make lasting changes to make your home life more egalitarian and prevent one partner from carrying the mental load.

On Sept. 17, we’ll have a lunar eclipse and full moon in mystical water sign Pisces, the first in a new series of lunar events that will last through 2027. Prepare to tune into more vivid dreams and start exploring empathy, emotional healing and spiritual fulfillment in your relationships.

Make the most of Mercury retrogrades by meditating on the best ways to pursue your passions. There will be three Mercury retrograde periods in 2024: April 1-25 in Aries, Aug. 4-28 in Virgo and Leo and Nov. 25-Dec. 15 in Sagittarius. While the planet of communication moves backward (or appears to from Earth’s vantage point), slowing down and prioritizing introspection is a must. And with most of this year’s backspins happening in action-oriented fire signs, you’ll do well to meditate on game plans for realizing your most heartfelt wishes and dreams. Maximize these periods by revising or reworking your approach to get the results you’re aiming for.

New Year Boundaries

Published January 6, 2023

By Gregory Keer

Now is a good time to re-establish boundaries and (eventually) reap the rewards

I hate arguing with children — mine or anyone else’s. Yet somehow I managed, with my equally complicit wife, to bring three superb debaters into my life. I have also willingly engaged in a career as a high-school educator, working with adolescents, the greatest logic adversaries in recorded history.

With my sons, the Conquistadors of Conflict, the most frequent battle is no surprise: boundaries.

Here are a few examples:

Me: “You can’t ride a skateboard without a helmet.”

Son #1: “None of my friends’ parents make them wear helmets.”

Me: “This parent wants to protect you from a brain injury.”

Son #1: “I hate you.”

Me: “Be home by 11 p.m.”

Son #2: “The party won’t be over by then.”

Me: “I want you to be rested for tomorrow’s soccer game.”

Son #2: “I hate you.”

Me: “No phone at the dinner table.”

Son #3: “Ethan just asked me a math question and I should help him.”

Me: “I don’t want you distracted from your time with us.”

Son #3: “I hate you.”

In each case, I drew the line and rationally explained the reason for the line. In each case, my children employed the parent-ego killer of “I hate you.” In some cases, that phrase has made me wobble and give in. But while conceding resulted in my temporary hero status, it also sparked long-term issues with setting clear lines later.

Fortunately, I haven’t given up on better boundary setting and, battle scars and all, I offer personal revelations so you don’t have to mess up as many times as I have.

The start of a new year is a great time for families to re-establish boundaries and rules.

The pandemic’s effect on boundaries

Perhaps the most challenging time for boundary enforcement for most parents was during the heart of the COVID-19 pandemic. So many household rules got washed away in 2020. I felt sorry for myself, but worse for my kids, especially my youngest who was at home, cooped up in his room. So I found myself easing up on boundaries for social media and even tolerating my kid’s unwillingness to leave his bed during Zoom school days.

Then, as life reached a “new normal” in 2021, I struggled to re-establish limits.

Betsy Brown Braun (betsybrownbraun.com), a Los Angeles-based child development and behavior specialist and author, keenly observes this pandemic-induced impact on parenting. “Post-pandemic, everyone feels terrible that our kids were the losers in learning and development,” says Brown Braun, who is also the best-selling author of “Just Tell Me What to Say: Sensible Tips and Scripts for Perplexed Parents” and “You’re Not the Boss of Me: Brat-proofing Your 4- To 12-Year-Old Child.”

“Parents feel they need to give kids what they want, make them happy, give them what they didn’t get” during the pandemic, she says.

Kids need boundaries — more than ever

While it may feel good to be the nice parent who lifts the guard rails so your children can have unencumbered fun, too much freedom can actually have a counter-effect on their well-being.

Kids will always test limits and rules. And after the prolonged pandemic stretch, during which they didn’t naturally have a chance to learn from trial and error out in the world, they may be prone to flout limits even harder. This is when parents need to be true guardians, not the friendly older person they live with.

“Children need limits,” says Lila Snow, professor of child development at Los Angeles Pierce College. “It’s scary to be untethered. While it’s normal for a child to push against the walls of the spaces we put them in, if we drop those walls completely, they don’t have a sense of how to fix things that go wrong and can’t know where to get help.”

Brown Braun points out that children “need parents to be the safety net they cannot be for themselves.”

Approaches to re-establishing boundaries

If you’ve had a period of being more permissive, your kids may feel betrayed if you try to go authoritarian on them by suddenly taking away unlimited Netflix — or their beloved cell phones — on school nights.

Instead, take things slow.

Brown Braun, the mother of triplets and grandmother of six, reasons, “It’s important that your child feels they have a voice and can feel heard. Involve your child in the [boundary setting]. Say something like, ‘I don’t feel comfortable with you going to that concert. Let’s put our heads together to see how it will work with our family.’ They might respond with, ‘You just don’t understand. You’re old!’ To which you could say, ‘Let’s both work this out or else I’ll just have to make a decision.’

“Just because they balk doesn’t mean you don’t set the limit,” Brown Braun says. Re-setting rules “doesn’t mean we have to punish. It means we have to teach.”

Snow, the mother of two and grandmother of two, reinforces slow boundary re-establishing. “Scale things down. Go from eight hours of cell use to six hours. Don’t do it all at once.”

Another key strategy is to model the behavior you want to see in your kids. “We need to demonstrate our own boundaries,” Snow says. “We, too, might cut back on phone use. We have to be mindful of our hypocrisy. We can’t swear in the car while driving if we want our kids to refrain from swearing.”

She continues that it can be helpful to explain what you are going through in regard to trying to set boundaries for yourself. “You might say, ‘Boy, I was eating a lot of Halloween candy,’ if we want our children to eat less garbage food,” she says. “When they resist, tell them, ‘I hear you. I’m having a similar experience. We’re all going to get through it.’”

Children don’t listen to us, Snow says, “They watch you. Do the behavior you want from them and do it loudly.”

In addition, there is the immeasurable value of offering encouragement when curbing stubborn habits in children. Snow says we can teach our kids through resilience techniques and through supportive words such as, ‘You’ve done this before and can do it again. Remember when you first started playing that instrument and you wanted to give up? Look at you now!”

Brown Braun points out four other nuanced points about boundary-setting:

Nothing is forever. See if the limit is working. Be prepared to revisit and revise.
Be responsive to the environment. Consider the child and situation.
The limit does not have to be applicable for all members of the house, i.e., being ready for dinner might look different for each person. Fair does not mean equal.
A boundary must make sense. It cannot be improvised and/or explained as necessary “because I say so.”

Key types of boundaries

Consistent messaging on re-established boundaries will help reduce friction with your child and even within yourself. Yet with so many rules to revisit, it helps to think of these key types:

Bedtime — For younger kids, ease them into earlier bedtimes that are free of tempting electronics. For tweens and teens, invite them into the reasoning about what’s healthiest for them (teens need 9-10 hours of sleep).
Electronics — For all kids, stop screen use at least 30 minutes before bed. Help them shift to activities such as reading a picture book or novel.
Mealtimes — Model that phones are not welcome at the table.
Nutrition — Children need guidelines to help them establish healthy nutrition habits. They should also be allowed leeway to pick some foods themselves.
Homework — Collaborate with your child to determine the time needed for homework that is done before play or kicking back. Invite them into the crafting of that as they get older under the theme of personal responsibility.
Attitude — Model a positive attitude for kids of all ages. Give them alternatives to expressions of frustration, anger or defiance. When we mess up on this score, we should admit our mistake. Children benefit from seeing their parent’s ability to acknowledge errors and self-correct.
Curfews and substance experimentation — With older kids, have conversations about health and safety limits. One effective tool is to offer that they can tell peer-pressuring friends they have to go home by a certain time or can’t drink that beer because “My mom/dad will ground me for a month!” Tell them you are fine being the bad-guy excuse.

Boundary setting, and especially boundary re-setting, is really hard. This is where surrounding yourself with like-minded parents can support you when things get challenging. Kids may say they hate you for re-establishing rules, but you know the facts. Children need, and secretly want, the lines that mark a healthy space for security and growth.

One day, they’ll love you for it.

Gregory Keer is a husband to one, father to three, high-school educator and grizzled veteran writer.

Tia Graham: On Happiness, Kids and Loving Yourself

Published January 5, 2022

By Elena Epstein

Tia Graham’s latest book will be out Jan. 18.

Tia Graham was a mom with a toddler and a baby living and working in L.A. when she realized the quest for a “balanced life” was becoming an overwhelming daily struggle that left her tired and gloomy. Working through her own challenges and emotions brought Graham to Arrive at Happy, a happiness company she founded to help others build more fulfilling lives. She’ll be back in L.A. this month to launch her newest book, Be a Happy Leader: Stop the Overwhelm, Thrive Personally, and Achieve Business Results.

We recently chatted with Graham about how parenthood affects our happiness and how she finds her bliss.

Tell us a little about why you started Arrive at Happy.

I originally had the idea to create a happiness company around 12-years ago. Throughout my adult life, people would continuously ask me, “How do you stay so happy”, “Where do you get all your positive energy from?” and “Even when there are huge challenges, how to you stay optimistic?” I remember thinking to myself, I believe that I can help other people become happier. I would journal about creating this happiness company and would often talk about it with my husband. Fast forward, I am back at work as The Director of Sales & Marketing at The London West Hollywood at Beverly Hills hotel, and I have a 2-year-old and a 4-month old. I am NOT happy. I was full of anger, overwhelm, guilt, fear, stress, sadness, confusion, and so many other challenging emotions. This was not the first time in my life that I had been unhappy, but it was the first time that I thought, maybe I will not be that happy person anymore. Maybe this is my new normal. To a pretty happy human, that thought was terrifying. I started Arrive At Happy to inspire and teach as many humans as possible! Arrive At Happy shares research from the science of happiness, neuroscience, coaching, and happiness at work to help leaders, teams, and people be happier and more successful.

What do you hope readers gain from your book, “Be a Happy Leader”?

I hope they gain motivation, understanding and tools to support them in consistently choosing happiness, making choices based on positive psychology and neuroscience. And I hope they gain new strategies to be a GREAT and really successful leader. I want people to know that they can create a life and career with happiness as their compass.

Who influenced you the most growing up?

My mom and dad, both in their own ways. My mom for her love of movement, friendship, adventure, travel, healthy living and never settling. My Dad for his positive attitude, love of bringing people together and support of my crazy ideas.

Tia Graham with her family. PHOTO COURTESY TIA GRAHAM.

What messages about happiness did you get from your family growing up?

Skiing and time outside makes you happy. Spending as much time as possible with friends and family. Fruits and veggies make you feel better. Traveling to new places lights you up and makes you realize that people are way more alike than different. Work hard and play hard – have fun! Do not take life too seriously. Dance, sing and be silly. Work hard in school and always try your best.

What would you tell your middle school self?

Do not look around at what other people are doing. Just focus on yourself and always stay true to yourself. Also – never care what middle school boys think of you! They will not be around when you are an adult!

Tells us how becoming a parent has changed you?

Wow. In every single way possible. I have two daughters who are 5 and 7. Parenting has made me realize that my career, titles and accomplishments are not who I am, they are what I do. It has humbled me and forced me to heal from challenges from my childhood. I have learned and am still learning to be more patient and see the world through my daughters’ eyes. I have learned that life is even more precious and special than pre-kids and it goes by fast. I have learned more about emotional contagion than I would have liked! Hahaha. I am still trying to NOT take in my daughters’ emotions. I have learned to love myself more and give myself constant grace and compassion.

What are you looking forward to sharing with your children the most?

Showing them the countries and cities that I love. Traveling with them throughout our lives. Sharing with them everything that I have learned from coaching, the science of happiness and neuroscience so that they will have the knowledge a lot younger than I did.

What would you like your children to know about the pursuit of happiness?

That happiness is a choice and that there are choices that you make daily that either increase or decrease your happiness. I will teach them Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar’s SPIRE model of well-being (spiritual, physical, intellectual, relational and emotional well-being). I will teach them that just like taking care of our physical immune system, we must take care of our mental/psychological immune system, and both take intention and work. Happiness is about contentment, purpose and a commitment to joy and it is about the acceptance that life has peaks and valleys.

What’s the best advice you’ve received so far about parenthood?

To continuously take care of yourself and fall MORE in love in with yourself as a parent. Prioritize your wholistic well-being, always. By doing so, you will be a better parent and partner.

From your experience and research, how does parenthood effect happiness?

From my personal experience, parenthood provides a deep sense of purpose and meaning in life that I did not have prior. It also gave me a broader perspective on life, and I realized that life is not ALL about work and fun with friends and family. Parenthood has also created some of the most unhappy times in my life so far. Times of guilt, sadness and overwhelm. I feel so connected to my daughters that when they are hurt or unhappy, I have emotional contagion and feel it, too. I am intentional about separating myself from their emotions.

Many studies have found that those without children value their lives more than those with children. Research also shows that parents experience more daily joy and more daily stress than non-parents.

When you’re not working, where will we find you?

Skiing and snowboarding with my family, hiking with my mom, reading, watching movies, doing yoga and traveling!

I understand that you were living in L.A., but you’re now based in Canada. Are you originally from Canada? What part? Tell us some of your favorite spots in L.A. that you enjoy with your family.

I was born and raised in BC, Canada, and have American/Canadian citizenship. I moved to Honolulu, HI when I was 20 and have lived in the Hawaiian Islands, Spain, NYC, Istanbul and L.A. I love L.A.! Some of my favorite family L.A. spots include the Melrose Place Farmers Market, The Grove, beaches of Malibu, Malibu Farm at Calamigos Ranch, exploring all of the parks and Duffy boat rides in the Marina.

September Book Corner: Motivation, Inspiration and Parenting Tools

Published September 20, 2021

By Evonna Ranade

The September Book Corner introduces books to motivate, challenge and inspire parents. The following books bring a new light to hardships and challenges that come with parenthood. Bond with others over being an older parent, learn mindful practices for an ounce of calm in your everyday life, get insight into a complicated mother-daughter relationship and experience what it’s like to be able to heal your mind, body and soul.

Tick Tock: Essays on Becoming a Parent After 40

Edited by Vicki Breitbart and Nan Bauer-Maglin

Becoming a parent after forty is a growing occurrence, however, it is not treated as normal in our culture. “Tick Tock: Essays on Becoming a Parent After 40” is a collection of essays by more than 30 writers to break down this barrier. It discusses their experiences about being or having older parents and counters the negatives with raw, witty stories. This collection is divided into five parts, sharing truths about why people become older parents, pregnancy, adoption, hardships and creating a community. This book offers support and focuses on the joy of a parent-child relationship, regardless of our ages.

Baby Bomb

By Kara Hoppe MA, MFT and Stan Tatkin PsyD, MFT

A baby changes everything, including your relationship with your partner. How do you make time for each other if you can barely make time for yourself? How do you navigate the overwhelm of new parenthood without losing the romantic connection with your partner? Written by a relationship expert and a psychologist, “Baby Bomb” guides you through these common and natural questions that come up when a new baby arrives. Although you can never fully prepare for this moment, Hoppe and Tatkin offer solid, actionable advice based in neurobiology, while sharing their own personal stories along the way, that can help you survive — maybe thrive! — as a couple with a baby bomb.

Mindfulness Journal for Parents: Prompts and Practices to Stay Calm, Present, and Connected

By Josephine Atluri

It’s no secret that life as a parent has lots of moving parts. Some may even call it a bit chaotic. “Mindfulness Journal for Parents: Prompts and Practices to Stay Calm, Present, and Connected” by Josephine Atluri introduces everyday practices to help bring a little ounce of calm to the storm. This journal offers different exercises and prompts for parents such as reflection writing and practicing open communication. These ideas teach families how to bring mindfulness into their everyday routines and into interactions with their children. It also challenges parents to think in new ways to improve the goals and functioning of the family.

Pretty Girls Don’t Get Cancer

By M. Patricia Diaz

Everything changed for author M. Patricia Diaz during her last year of high school. What was supposed to be full of fun turned into a year of social isolation. Why? She was diagnosed with Stage IV terminal cancer. Her book “Pretty Girls Don’t Get Cancer” takes you back to her life in Venezuela and shares the story about her personal transformation through this experience. Not only did she defy medical odds, but she also found a way to heal her mind, body and spirit. You will get to see how Diaz embraced all her feelings to overcome difficulties and rise to be stronger than before. Part coming of age story, part motivational memoir, this book will inspire and show how restoring physical health is only the first step toward healing.

Driven: A Daughter’s Odyssey

by Julie Heldman

Retired American tennis star, Olympian and recent Tennis Hall of Famer Julie Heldman writes not only about her professional tennis career journey, but also about the difficult relationship she had with her mother, Gladys, in her memoir, “Driven: A Daughter’s Odyssey.” Gladys Heldman founded “World Tennis” magazine in 1953, which took up most of her time and energy, leaving Julie isolated and alone. The book reveals Julie’s struggle with bipolar disorder and the emotional abuse she suffered from her mother while she maintained an immense drive to succeed as a tennis player. You don’t have to be a tennis fan to connect to Julie’s story of navigating life with mental illness and a complicated parent.

For more book suggestions, check out the August Book Corner, which is all about health, history and rhymes.

Put Mom Back in ‘Mompreneur’

Published May 12, 2021

By Dr. Sandra Colton-Medici

Running your own business while being a full-time parent makes those dancing mama TikTok videos look easy. Many parents have been working from home due to safe distancing COVID-19 restrictions for more than a year. Prior to these safety precautions, mompreneurs and dadpreneurs were already providing full-time care for their children while also running a business. The traditionally accepted definition of a mompreneur is that of a “mother who has started her own business.”* The same has been assumed for a dadpreneur as well. This terminology implies a sort of balance that exists between the time spent working on a business and that allotted to childcare.

As a mom who has her own business as well, I can tell you that the work/life balance ideal is not always achievable. For that reason alone, it’s time to evolve this definition and put more of the mom back in mompreneur.

Building a Business

Each day has its own challenges. From getting your children up, dressed, fed and into play or schoolwork to answering emails, checking in on social media and taking time to eat, there’s never a dull moment. As parents look toward investing in their businesses, one of the best ways to boost your business’ profile is to inject authenticity into each system and process. That means adding more of you into the equation.

*Dr. Sandra Colton-Medici is a digital strategist and a business coach in Los Angeles.* PHOTO BY NIKKI DALONZO

More mom and more dad, to be exact. Juggling the many aspects of being a working mom or dad can be even more challenging when that work is for your own company. The end result, good or bad, is yours and yours alone. Getting down to the nitty gritty in your business requires a good set of auditing skills. Similar to the skill a parent learns in knowing the difference in a baby’s cry for food vs. a diaper change, the skills you need to assess your business must be fine-tuned and practiced.

Perfect Practice Makes Perfect

A quote that was relayed to me once was that “Perfect practice makes perfect.” While we can’t always be perfect, business owners can practice ways to identify deficiencies and ways to address them. Putting more of yourself into each and every aspect of your business is one way to engage across social platforms online.

Practicing the self-care you need is important to keep yourself in the best mental and physical shape to show up not only for your children, but for your business as well. Having the time to do it all doesn’t always sound possible. This mindset may be one reason why business growth has or hasn’t flourished for you. Shift your thought process to ideate better ways to become more effective and task-oriented in your business.

Dr. Sandra Colton-Medici with her child. PHOTO COURTESY DR. SANDRA COLTON-MEDICI

Productivity Tips

To be more productive in your business, the ultimate focus for mompreneurs and dadpreneurs is on you and your family’s happiness. That’s probably one of the reasons that you started your own business in the first place. It’s always tough to feel like your work may bleed over into playtime, or your work piles up because instead of finishing it, you’re showing up for your children to help with a hard homework assignment. Here are a few productivity tips that might cut down on the stress and keep your business running like a well-oiled machine.

For each workday, map out the best times where you can be the most productive.
Block schedule your children’s play, snack, meal and nap/sleep times.
Pre-plan and meal prep for the week’s meals.
Assess your workstyle and if you require complete quiet, if a mild interruption hinders task completion and identify the sound decibel that can be tolerated while working.
Utilize your parenting superpowers to clearly lay out your workspace with your children.
Navigate the business requirements in your industry and communicate your best working hours to your business vendors and partners.
Adjust your internet speed higher to get the most out of your service provider so you aren’t waiting for connection or increased streaming signals.
Optimize or automate tasks or task lists with software such as Asana, Trello or Monday.com.
Provide scheduling tools to clients to remove back-and-forth emails with software such as Acuity and Calendly.

Mompreneur

Dr. Sandra Colton-Medici and her family. PHOTO COURTESY DR. SANDRA COLTON-MEDICI

When you started your family, you instantly gained the title of parent. Your senses heightened and your stress level rose every time you saw a sharp edge on a table or a crayon heading for your child’s mouth. When you started your business, you became a mompreneur or dadpreneur. As you move forward and implement subtle changes to infuse more of you into your business, refine yourself in the details of each system and process. Use your insight gained through parenting to filter and fulfill the goals you have set out for yourself. Practice and proceed with a sense of excitement and an organized sense of self.

Dr. Sandra Colton-Medici is a digital strategist and a business coach in Los Angeles. She assists business owners in building their brands online and is the founder of CollegeOfStyle.com. She’s a former pro dancer who has been seen on FOX’s So You Think You Can Dance, as a backup dancer for Rihanna, backup singer for Paulina Rubio, and has appeared in films, The Day The Earth Stood Still, Bring It On: All or Nothing, and in music videos for Justin Timberlake, Snoop Dogg, Raphael Saadiq, Cascada and more.

* https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/mompreneur