parenting books Archives

A Sweet Book on Love & Parenthood

Published January 22, 2024

By Elena Epstein

L.A. mom and social worker Emily Feit knows the struggles and heartbreaks of infertility first hand. Her new heartwarming book, “Before We Held You in Our Arms,” is inspired by that difficult journey. A portion of the proceeds from the book will benefit Feit 4 Kidz, a loan fund that has given out more than $4.5 million dollars for fertility treatment.

Emily Feit with her daughter Kara, husband Alan and sons Zachary and Levi. PHOTO COURTESY EMILY FEIT

Please tell us why you wanted to write “Before We Held You in Our Arms.”

I’d say there are a couple of reasons why. To begin, I have always loved writing ever since I was a child. In the early summer of 2022, I had just finished post-graduate training in Fertility Counseling for licensed mental health professionals. As a licensed clinical social worker, I had ended my course with a wealth of clinical information and inspiration, and did not know the next direction to take. I contemplated opening up a private practice focusing on reproductive health, but I decided that I could blend my own personal experience with my clinical knowledge in an impactful way through writing. I felt that I could share my message of resilience and love to both children and adults in a broader way through words and illustrations. With that being said, I found that there was a lack of children’s books addressing the emotional aspects of infertility. I felt that there needed to be an “opener” to the conversation about the feelings that the parent/(s) experienced during their fertility journey.

Can you share your personal journey with infertility and the feelings and emotions that you experienced?

My journey was arduous. It was wrought with a lot of emotional pain, disappointment, envy and sadness. Many words come to mind when I reflect back on my personal journey. While my journey lasted nearly three years to have our twins, including two IUIs, seven IVFs, two miscarriages and more medication and shots than I care to recount, and another two IVFs and a surrogacy journey to have my third son, I would do it all over again to have the family that I have. I may not remember exactly the timeline or all the procedures I may have forgotten to list, but I can remember the emotions I felt, the moods I experienced and the feelings that often felt dark, daunting and psychologically heavy.

What would you like others to know about this experience? What insight would you like to share with others?

When my husband and I went through our journey, I felt so alone. I felt like no one understood what I was going through. It was so isolating. I felt desperate, depressed and full of sorrow. In part, I did not reach out to many others because I felt shame and that I had something to hide. What I know now is that all those powerful feelings I felt were normal and it was okay to be experiencing them. Actually, now there is a whole subset of psychology called “Reproductive Psychology,” which focuses on the social, emotional, behavioral and inter/intrapersonal effects of infertility. There’s help and further understanding now! It feels good to be validated and to see clinical growth as it relates to infertility, pregnancy, birth, etc.

Tell us about your foundation, Feit 4 Kidz. When did you start it and what is your mission behind it?

Feit 4 KidZ – which is an interest free loan program in conjunction with the Jewish Free Loan Association (but is non-denominational!) was the brainchild of my husband, Alan. He made a promise the night before our last embryo transfer (It was Nov. 10, 2011 when he made this promise) that he would personally donate the amount of money we spent on IVF treatments to those in need. We searched for partner organizations, and when we met with JFLA, their instantaneous response was “Yes!” So, since 2013, we have been offering interest-free loans to couples or individuals in Southern California who need financial assistance with costly infertility procedures. Our mission is to help those that want to become parents, to become them! Simple as that.

How has parenthood changed you personally?

One of the most significant changes that parenthood has offered me is my ability to admit when I have made mistakes, because I make them quite often. I think it’s important to take the time to repair when I have parented in a way that I don’t feel good about. Whether or not it may be something I said to one of my kids, or a punishment that may have been too stringent, I am open to hearing from my children, reflecting on their feedback and admitting when I have made a mistake. Before parenthood, it was more difficult for me to admit when I messed up, but now, I see the value in it.

How old are your kids? What does a typical day look like for you?

I have boy/girl twins who are 11 and in 6th grade, and I have a son who is 8 and in 2nd grade. Thankfully, right now they’re all at the same school. My typical day starts before the sun rises to get everything in order before they get up for school. After school, I feel like an uber driver shuttling them between dance, martial arts and after school sports practices! The day doesn’t end until close to 9 after homework and reading are done.

Tell us about your career as a social worker. Are you still practicing?

I received my MSW in 2004 from Yeshiva University in New York City, and I began working as a geriatric social worker right after graduation. I am licensed as an LCSW in the state of California. I have always focused on geriatrics; it’s my speciality and passion! Since getting my Master’s, I have worked in various healthcare settings, mostly the skilled nursing facility arena. I have a fondness for geriatrics — and I do continue to do clinical consulting in healthcare settings but very part time. I am now focusing my efforts on reproductive health and may even write a second book sometime soon.

Best life advice you received growing up?

My best life advice was this — Don’t brag about yourself. Let others brag about you. That’s what my grandmother always told her kids and, in turn, my parents drilled this into our heads. I do the same with my kids — they know the phrase by heart, too. I believe in being humble, being modest and never bragging.

Best parenting advice that you use yourself and you would like to share with all parents.

There is a lot of value in repairing, admitting that you’re human and you screw up, and learning from your children. I will tell my kids: “I make mistakes. I messed up.” It’s important that our kids see us as imperfect, too. Often times, they are the ones who teach us. There is a lot of wisdom in their little brains.

When not working, where will we find you?

Working out. Or on my Peloton. It’s my therapy!

What are some of your favorite spots and activities in and around LA to enjoy as a family?

Some of our favorite spots around L.A. to enjoy as a family are hiking, going to the beach and walking around Malibu. We are a huge RAMS family, so you’ll find us at SoFi when they play.

The Genius of Play’s ‘Emotional Wellness Playbook’

Published May 2, 2023

By Nathan Corrál

One of the best things we can do for our kids is aid them in their development of emotional well-being. What better way to do that than through play?

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and organizations, companies and individuals everywhere are using this month to continue talking openly about the state of mental health. But when it comes to helping children, Talia Filippelli, founder of Starr Therapy in Hoboken, N.J., says we need not forget about play.

Filipelli is a leading mental health expert and winner of numerous “Top Kids Doc” awards, and she has partnered with The Genius of Play to create a new Emotional Wellness Playbook. The Genius of Play is: a non profit that provides families with the information need to make play an important part of their child’s day. This free resource provides parents and caregivers with screen-free, play-based activities that were designed to help children develop emotional intelligence and to learn how to express their emotions in a healthy way.

Filippelli has worked with The Genius of Play for several years, contributing expert articles that offer parents free resources on a variety of subject matters. At the end of last year, the organization asked Filippelli to create a playbook with a list of concrete activities for parents to use as a resource to engage with their kids in ways that are creative as well as collaborative. In the process of putting together the playbook, Filippelli examined each activity via a lens of what emotional health benefits could develop as a result of play. Play is so much more than just quality time with your kids, she says. It is also an opportunity to help them grow emotionally. “We like to look at play as an opportunity to build emotional wellness skills in children,” she says.

What is great about the Emotional Wellness Playbook is how open-ended it is. Collaborative play is at the center of each activity, so the activities in the playbook can be between a parent and a child, a caregiver and a child or even multiple children. The emotional health benefits remain the same regardless of who engages in the activities. No specific family dynamic was targeted, so the playbook is accessible for all family types. There are even solo activities for kids, such as word searches and coloring pages.

The activities in the playbook are meant to inspire parents to connect and bond with their kids. With the numerous long-term benefits that come from the playbook, a prominent one is normalizing the discussion of emotions with parents and their children.

Talia Filippelli, LCSW, CHHC, CPT, is the founder of Starr Therapy. Visit thegeniusofplay.org for play ideas, expert advice and more play-inspired resources for families and educators.

Novel Excerpt: ‘Women Are The Fiercest Creatures’

Published March 25, 2023

By Tracy Martin

Andrea Dunlop’s newest novel, “Women Are The Fiercest Creatures,” is a story of the complications of parenting, pregnancy and womanhood.

The novel (a first from Zibby Books) follows Jessica, Sam and Anna, whose lives have all become intertwined by the common thread of their relationships with Jake Sarnaff, an enamoring CEO of a tech startup. How will these women work together through the tribulations of these complicated dynamics?

The characters in Dunlop’s novel have the choice to lift each other up or tear each other down. The strain of these hard circumstances shows the power a woman possesses and what she can overcome.

Excerpt from “Women Are The Fiercest Creatures”

The day after Christmas, Sam taught a special half-day of yoga classes she called the Boxing Day Wind-Down. Turnout was always high: people trying to extract themselves from the post-holiday letdown. It was a busy day for Sam. Thanks to her distracted state, it wasn’t until halfway through her packed prenatal class that she noticed Jessica Sarnoff in the back row.

Sam had been sure Jessica would show up at some point—she’d asked Serena to comp her first session—but actually being in the room with Jake’s pregnant wife was something different. Sam made her usual slow circles around the class, stopping to gently adjust limbs or whisper encouragement to those who needed it. When she came near Jessica, she was hit by an almost overpowering sadness. People always brought big emotions with them to this particular class—joy, anticipation, even grief—but Jessica’s vibe was notable. Sam had to force herself to refocus when it came time for the closing meditation.

“I want to close with some thoughts on motherhood for this prenatal group. Candidly, the way we talk about motherhood in this culture—it pisses me off,” Sam said. The group tittered. Sam knew that she didn’t always talk like a typical yogi; her frank manner could catch students off guard. “Mothers are supposed to be loving, perfect, patient, saintlike. Or, on the other hand, you have all the memes about wine and coffee and the general disaster of it all, which would lead us to believe that mothers are well-caffeinated, sleep-deprived drunks.” More laughter. “This leaves very little space for the humanity of the women at the center of it all.

“The truth is some of us had wonderful mothers, some had medium mothers, and maybe some of you had monstrous, selfish mothers. Mothers are human beings. We come in the full spectrum. But pregnancy and childbirth are singular experiences. It is a miraculous thing to be able to grow another person. There’s even a theory of civilization,” she continued, “that the reason men oppressed women to begin with, the reason they used their advantage of physical strength to subjugate us, was because they feared us. I’ve always found this compelling.” Sam let her eyes travel back to Jessica. She was watching Sam: riveted.

“So that’s what I want you to think about as we close our eyes today and exhale. What your body is doing right now is more powerful than all of the wars ever fought, any feat of strength ever performed.” She looked at Jessica, whose eyes were dutifully closed. “Women,” Sam said, “are the fiercest creatures.”

Andrea Dunlop is author of “Women Are The Fiercest Creatures.” PHOTO BY MATTHEW LAND

November Book Corner: Books for Giving

Published November 7, 2022

By Nina Harada

This month’s roundup includes books that would make great holiday gifts for adults and kids, from beautifully illustrated stories to a thoughtful guide for working parents.

Hacking the Code: The Ziggety Zaggety Road of a D-Kid

By Gea Meijering, Illustrated by Mads Johan Øgaard

The illustrated chapter book follows 5^th grader Kees as he navigates school with his dyslexia. Writing assignments are challenging but fixing things or science experiments come easy.
Written by a mother of a dyslexic son, “Hacking the Code” reveals how every brain operates in different ways giving each of us unique strengths. Ages 8-12.

Don McLean’s American Pie: A Fable

By Meteor 17 Books

Inspired by the iconic pop song from 1971, Don McLean’s American Pie: A Fable is a beautifully illustrated story about a lonely newspaper boy who discovers friendship, creativity and melody through his daily paper route. The poetic and bittersweet book explores the meaning behind the words of the classic song. Ages 4-7.

Guinness World Records 2023

By Guinness World Records

A fun read for both kids and adults alike, the classic “Guinness World Records” returns with new record-breaking achievements in the 2032 edition. The jam-packed book features celebrities like Rihanna and Billie Eilish, star animals like Alvin the Shetland pony and incredible kids like 7-year-old blind skateboarder.

Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like Too Much)

By Yael Schonbrun, PhD

In “Work, Parent, Thrive,” clinical psychologist and parent Dr. Schonbrun offers practical steps we can take to rethink the challenges of working parent life. Early in her own journey as a working parent she felt, “no matter what I was doing, I felt like I could and perhaps should be doing something else.” Instead of listing ways we can juggle more, the book addresses these feelings around being a working parent and how we can shift our perspective.

Dragonboy and the Wonderful Night

Written and illustrated by Fabio Napoleoni

“Dragonboy and the Wonderful Night” is the follow-up to fine artist Fabio Napoleoni’s debut picture book series “Dragonboy.” With Unicorngirl and his stuffed animal friends, Darwin, Yellow Kitty, Drako and Simon by his side, Dragonboy embarks on a backyard adventure to discover the wonder and magic of the night and of our world. Ages 4-8.

For more book suggestions, check out out October Book Corner.

June Book Corner: Books for Adults

Published June 15, 2022

By Hannah-Karen Cogan

Being a parent is an extremely difficult job and it never hurts to have a few ways to make it easier. These books have stories and helpful ways to tackle the difficult job of being a parent.

When Your Hand is in the Lion’s Mouth

By Nina Whitaker

We don’t hear often enough about great black fathers in our stories or media. “When Your Hand is in the Lion’s Mouth” is a non-fiction story and a father-daughter memoir. It goes beyond stereotype, shining a light on a devoted man who lifts and enlightens. This book is about the foundation of love, wisdom and life lessons. Essays are included to help reflect about having better values, ways to be more kind and foundational wisdom. This book is also a great way to learn about Juneteenth Available June 19.

Raising Brains

By Dr. Sarah Allen

CEO and Founder of Brain Behavior Bridge and creator of the “Raising Brains Movement,” Dr. Sarah Allen’s best-selling book, “Raising Brains” focuses on helping parents raise healthy kids and healthy brains. “Raising Brains” is for moms who want to better every aspect of their lives, and understand that they are not just raising kids, but also brains. Dr. Sarah Allen walks parents through the magic questions of how to shape your brain and how to create the perfect parenting plan.

The C.A.S.T.L.E. Method

By Donna Tetreault

Written by a national parenting journalist and award-winning children’s book author, this book teaches positive parenting and emotional health to families worldwide. Parenting can be a hard and challenging task. In “The C.A.S.T.L.E. Method” Donna talks about building a family foundation on compassion, acceptance, trust, love and expectations. Available June 21 for new and established families.

Oldest Los Angeles

By Mimi Slawoff

Native Angeleno and seasoned travel journalist Mimi Slawoff is a former Los Angeles Daily News reporter who writes about Los Angeles travels. In her new book “Oldest Los Angeles” she takes readers on a journey through the past to the oldest buildings, businesses, and neighborhoods in the City of Angels. This book is informative and engaging with insider stories and fun facts. A great exploration for the whole family.

Jalan-Jalan

By Margo Weinstein

Just in time for the reopening of the world, a new book release, “Jalan-Jalan” is a journey of wanderlust and motherhood, that inspires travelers. With COVID-19 travel restrictions lifting and travelers seeking inspiration to explore again, Jalan-Jalan is the perfect book to get people off the couch and onto an airplane. Adventure seekers and armchair travelers will relish reading Weinstein’s exploits as she battles baboons in her Zimbabwe hotel room and surfaces under a capsized raft in Northern Pakistan.

For more book suggestions, check out our June Book Corner for kids and our May Book Corner.

September Book Corner: Motivation, Inspiration and Parenting Tools

Published September 20, 2021

By Evonna Ranade

The September Book Corner introduces books to motivate, challenge and inspire parents. The following books bring a new light to hardships and challenges that come with parenthood. Bond with others over being an older parent, learn mindful practices for an ounce of calm in your everyday life, get insight into a complicated mother-daughter relationship and experience what it’s like to be able to heal your mind, body and soul.

Tick Tock: Essays on Becoming a Parent After 40

Edited by Vicki Breitbart and Nan Bauer-Maglin

Becoming a parent after forty is a growing occurrence, however, it is not treated as normal in our culture. “Tick Tock: Essays on Becoming a Parent After 40” is a collection of essays by more than 30 writers to break down this barrier. It discusses their experiences about being or having older parents and counters the negatives with raw, witty stories. This collection is divided into five parts, sharing truths about why people become older parents, pregnancy, adoption, hardships and creating a community. This book offers support and focuses on the joy of a parent-child relationship, regardless of our ages.

Baby Bomb

By Kara Hoppe MA, MFT and Stan Tatkin PsyD, MFT

A baby changes everything, including your relationship with your partner. How do you make time for each other if you can barely make time for yourself? How do you navigate the overwhelm of new parenthood without losing the romantic connection with your partner? Written by a relationship expert and a psychologist, “Baby Bomb” guides you through these common and natural questions that come up when a new baby arrives. Although you can never fully prepare for this moment, Hoppe and Tatkin offer solid, actionable advice based in neurobiology, while sharing their own personal stories along the way, that can help you survive — maybe thrive! — as a couple with a baby bomb.

Mindfulness Journal for Parents: Prompts and Practices to Stay Calm, Present, and Connected

By Josephine Atluri

It’s no secret that life as a parent has lots of moving parts. Some may even call it a bit chaotic. “Mindfulness Journal for Parents: Prompts and Practices to Stay Calm, Present, and Connected” by Josephine Atluri introduces everyday practices to help bring a little ounce of calm to the storm. This journal offers different exercises and prompts for parents such as reflection writing and practicing open communication. These ideas teach families how to bring mindfulness into their everyday routines and into interactions with their children. It also challenges parents to think in new ways to improve the goals and functioning of the family.

Pretty Girls Don’t Get Cancer

By M. Patricia Diaz

Everything changed for author M. Patricia Diaz during her last year of high school. What was supposed to be full of fun turned into a year of social isolation. Why? She was diagnosed with Stage IV terminal cancer. Her book “Pretty Girls Don’t Get Cancer” takes you back to her life in Venezuela and shares the story about her personal transformation through this experience. Not only did she defy medical odds, but she also found a way to heal her mind, body and spirit. You will get to see how Diaz embraced all her feelings to overcome difficulties and rise to be stronger than before. Part coming of age story, part motivational memoir, this book will inspire and show how restoring physical health is only the first step toward healing.

Driven: A Daughter’s Odyssey

by Julie Heldman

Retired American tennis star, Olympian and recent Tennis Hall of Famer Julie Heldman writes not only about her professional tennis career journey, but also about the difficult relationship she had with her mother, Gladys, in her memoir, “Driven: A Daughter’s Odyssey.” Gladys Heldman founded “World Tennis” magazine in 1953, which took up most of her time and energy, leaving Julie isolated and alone. The book reveals Julie’s struggle with bipolar disorder and the emotional abuse she suffered from her mother while she maintained an immense drive to succeed as a tennis player. You don’t have to be a tennis fan to connect to Julie’s story of navigating life with mental illness and a complicated parent.

For more book suggestions, check out the August Book Corner, which is all about health, history and rhymes.