Child development advice from L.A.-area experts.
Child Development
The Food Chain for Picky Eaters
By Christina Elston Every mom and dad wants to have a kid who’s a good eater. “One of your major roles as a parent is to make sure your child is well nourished,” says Judy Hopkins, an occupational therapist at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles specializing in children with feeding disorders. That’s why having a child who is fussy around food can be scary for parents. It’s scary for kids, too....
Becoming an Expat Parent
Writer Daralynn Hutson and her daughter, Nya, are learning and exploring as expats in South Africa. I’ve never been one to stay in one place. As a journalist for more than 20 years, I’ve been able to make a living in my hometown of Detroit; the city where I went to college, Atlanta; the city where I married, New York; and the city where I landed after my divorce, L.A....
7 Reasons to Join a Parent Support Group
Recently, a father of a 14-year-old boy called to ask for a family session. He described how he got so fed up with his son’s video gaming that he turned the WiFi off in his house. A shouting match ensued and his son got so mad that he jumped out of the ground-level window and disappeared into the night, leaving his parents rattled and worried. Another mom described in a...
Rachael MacFarlane: First Picture Book Urges Kids to Play Freely
Rachael MacFarlane is best known as a voiceover actress. She currently voices Hayley on “American Dad,” created by her brother, animator Seth MacFarlane, who is also the creator of “Family Guy.” In fact, her partnership with her brother on “Family Guy” launched her voiceover career. MacFarlane’s latest project is a different kind of family collaboration. She teamed up with her husband, animator Spencer Laudiero, to write a picture book called...
Cultivating Gratitude in 2019
Gratitude is always a good practice, even if you’re just grateful that 2018 is behind us. Sarah Salamon, M.D., is a pediatrician at Huntington Health Physicians and a mom actively cultivating gratitude within her own family. “I want to raise a nice, thankful, not-entitled child,” she says. “I think in this day and age, we’re so focused on stuff more than moments." Here are her thoughts about bringing more gratitude...
Six Telltale Signs Your Kid Is a Writer
As a 3-year-old, before I could even spell, I scribbled furiously in the notebooks I kept clutched at my side. My mom says it was a sign that I was going to become a writer. In honor of National Author's Day (Nov. 1), I interviewed several California authors to discover what similar traits, if any, they displayed as children. Here are six signs that your child is a budding author:...
Sweet Dreams LA Puts Sleep-Training Struggles to Bed
I sleep trained my first child alright: to fall asleep while breastfeeding. It wasn’t sustainable, as baby Mirae would wake up wailing as soon as I attempted to place her in her crib. Mirae was having no part of the cry-it-out method, nor my slow backpedal out of the room after laying her down, so after five sleepless nights, I gave up. The child didn’t sleep well until she was...
Kid Lit’s Secret Sauce
Think about the picture books that were your favorites as a kid. Some that probably made the list – such as “Corduroy” by Don Freeman, “The Story of Ferdinand” by Munro Leaf and “Where the Wild Things Are” by Maurice Sendak – are still popular today. The continued success of these books is not just a matter of nostalgia or luck. These books have been cooked with a secret sauce,...
Talking Your Child Through a Tough Spot
September can be a prickly time of year. The kids have started school, and everyone’s getting used to the fall schedule and responsibilities. Anxiety, which is often part of this picture, can show up in many different ways, according to Lori Baudino Psy.D, a clinical psychologist with a private practice in Westchester. “Anxiety is a protective mechanism,” says Baudino. And your child might not react to it the same way...
USC Seeks Help with Studies of Assistive Robots
USC researchers are looking for families to help with two studies they are conducting to find ways that robotics technology might benefit children on the autism spectrum – or those with other disabilities. The first study looks at ways that robots might help promote development in infants with or at risk for Autism Spectrum Disorders. All babies explore the space around them and learn about the effects of the movements...
7 Steps to Becoming a Well-Behaved Parent
Are you a well-behaved parent? We are all so concerned about our children's behavior, yet so often we act like jerks to our kids. We lose our patience with them, yell at them, tell them what to do without saying “please” or “thank you,” change the TV channel without asking, tell them to move when we want to sit somewhere and expect them to have cleanliness and discipline skills we do...
7 L.A. Playgrounds Perfect for Unstructured Play
Right now, parents across the U.S. are feeling the subtle but ever-present tug of war between structured and unstructured time for their kids. The trend over the last few decades has been toward increasing amounts of scheduled activities for children in the interest of safety and student achievement. And despite a large body of recent research on the varied benefits and importance of free play, as well as unstructured play...
Camp Erin-LA Gives Kids a Place to Grieve Loss
Dealing with the death of a loved one can be difficult for a child. Thankfully, there’s a place for them to work through their grief alongside other children who are dealing with the same pain. Camp Erin-LA, located at the scenic 45-acre Camp Bloomfield campground in the Santa Monica Mountains near Malibu, will offer a free weekend-long camp Aug. 17-19 for children and teens ages 6 to 17 who’ve lost...
Father’s Day Reflection: Finding ‘Wholeness’ in the Midst of Brokenness
The countdown to Father’s Day is here, but for some people, the holiday is a reminder of the lack of emotional connection they have with their fathers. Touré Roberts, husband, father and pastor of Potter's House at One LA, reflects on his own father’s approach to parenting, and how his new book, “Wholeness,” speaks to overcoming childhood pain in order to become the best parent you can be. “I had to...
Fatherhood Today, Dad’s Way
Every family is different, especially in the 21st century. Even as recently as the 1980s, parenting along gender lines was more defined. But shifting roles and values have fathers spending more time with their kids than ever before. Dads are taking on more of the parenting – and they’re doing it their way. Results and opinions on how that’s going seem to be mixed. In general, experts note that fathers...
Modern Manners for Kids in Los Angeles
How is etiquette school still a thing? That was my first thought when I received this assignment. The concept sounded frightfully outdated, especially in a household like mine, where there’s no room among the chaos for white gloves or ballroom dancing. And it certainly doesn’t seem to fit the L.A. vibe, where casual clothes and lattes on the go are more commonplace than a formal afternoon tea. But while “etiquette”...
The Baby Box Co. Aims to Put Babies to Sleep and Take Parents to School
New parents have many questions, and often turn to Google in their quest for answers. L.A.-based The Baby Box Co. and its global Baby Box University aim to supply information on parenting basics – and actual resources to help parents keep their babies comfortable and safe when theyare sleeping – in one handy package. Inspired by a Finnish tradition, longtime friends Michelle Vick and Jennifer Clary created the company. The...
Mother Nature vs Materialism with Netiya
One recent morning, my 7-year-old daughter got dressed for school and announced that she was wearing all purple. “Purple shirt, purple pants, purple boots, purple socks, even purple underwear!” she proclaimed proudly. “That’s awesome, Ave!” I said. “Nicely done!” Then she said something that broke my heart a little: “Do you think anyone will make fun of me for wearing all purple?” Oh man, I thought. It’s happening. My self-confident,...
Helping Families Take Root and Parents Take Wing
When you walk into Malibu’s new holistic wellness nonprofit, Roots & Wings, you might feel like you’ve walked into a cocoon of warmth, peace and acceptance. You’re greeted immediately with “How can I help you?” And a smile. There’s no request for a doctor’s referral or diagnosis. Roots & Wings invites you just as you are. “We don’t care about any diagnosis or previous treatment. We take families who need...
The Power of Optimism
Weak muscle tone, developmental delays, poor growth, insatiable appetite, life-threatening obesity, intellectual impairment, obsessive-compulsive symptoms, aggressive and violent behavior …. The neonatologist, clutching photocopied pages of a medical textbook, rattled these symptoms off to Lisa and TJ Graziano, describing their 13-day-old son’s future. “He would read symptom after symptom after symptom after symptom after symptom, turn the page and continue,” says Lisa. “I think it was three pages of symptoms,...
Support Your Child’s Development With Sensory Play
From birth all the way through childhood, children use their senses to build nerve connections and make sense of the world around them. Sensory input provides children with the necessary brain feedback to develop their gross motor, fine motor, language, social emotional and even cognitive skills. Because of its important role in development, sensory play is vital for every child. Unfortunately, with the increase in technology usage and our busy...
Children’s Book Portrays Kindness as Heroic
There is something special about hearing the elders in your family tell stories. The sound of their voices, coupled with the way they journey through plot twists and describe past events and real-life characters, burrows into listening ears and, sometimes, plants the desire to captivate others with story. For children’s book author Marja Perren, the person who most nurtured her love of story was her grandmother. “I was raised in...
New Book Addresses ‘Mean Girl’ Effect in Early Years
As a child and adolescent psychotherapist, parenting expert and writer Katie Hurley, LCSW, argues that the “mean girl” syndrome is not reserved for high school. In fact, Hurley wrote her book, “No More Mean Girls: The Secret to Raising Strong, Confident, and Compassionate Girls,” with younger girls in mind. “You’ll find information and strategies to help your girls from preschool through middle school with developing friendships, dealing with relational aggression...
5 Tips for Protecting Your Children During Your Divorce
So, you have arrived at the difficult decision to end your marriage, a decision with which you struggled. How will you break the news to your son or daughter? How will you feel when you do not see your child every day? How will your child feel when he or she does not see you each day? What can you do to assuage the emotional impact the divorce will have...
Connect and Communicate With these Three Strategies
Melissa Reiner knows about talking to kids. Asked what she does, the oldest of her three sons, who’s 10, says, “She uses this special way of speaking. I didn’t like it at first, but it really works.” The founder of Bridging Pathways, Reiner uses these talents to help kids and families throughout Southern California who are dealing with the challenges posed by autism. She offers these three strategies for improving...
On Having More Kids: When Baby Makes Four
The decision to have a child is one of the most momentous people can make. Those who venture down that path undertake lifestyle changes that transform every aspect of their financial, social and personal lives for decades to come. An equally momentous transition can be the one from one child to two. Add a sibling and you’re upending things for yourself, your co-parent and your first child. While parents bond...
Helping Boys Get the #MeToo Message
Currently, we can’t watch the news or connect with social media without hearing about another sexual harassment scandal. Although our instinct is to want to talk to our daughters about ownership of their bodies, boundaries and consent. But the vital conversations to have right now is with our sons. In order to raise caring, empathetic and sensitive boys we need to create a cultural shift to one of mutual respect...
The Battle Against Bullying
One of the worst things a parent can ever witness is their child being hurt physically and emotionally. Bullying covers both in spades. Unlike schoolyard taunts, childish teasing and miscommunication, bullying causes hurt at a whole new level. It involves an imbalance of power where one person intentionally and repeatedly causes physical or psychological harm to another. This can take the form of pushing, hitting, destroying one’s possessions, excluding one...
Can the Kids Pitch In? Kids and Chores
’Tis the season for ambitious resolutions, fresh starts – and perhaps a bit more help around the house. But where to start? Are your children old enough for chores? Should you pay them? Are you sick of nagging – and re-doing their efforts? When polling my friends with 5-year-olds about the topic, the responses were entertaining. A creative Eagle Rock mom had some success convincing her son that Tom Petty...
Survival of the Fittest: Nurturing Positive Sibling Relationships
Sibling rivalry is one of the oldest forms of conflict known to mankind. Its drama has been played out in folkore, literature and film. In the animal kingdom, many newborns shun their siblings as a form of survival. I’ve read about how some baby birds push their siblings out of nests to ensure their own food supply. In a less dramatic way, we see some form of this played out...
Dealing With Loss During the Holidays
’Tis the season to be merry, but for grievers the holidays are fraught with emotions and decision making may be complicated. Families are reminded that the children are grieving, too. Far too often, children are excluded when decisions are made about which holiday rituals and traditions from the past to uphold and when to create new ones. Offer opportunities that will help them maintain their precious memories and engage in...
LOOM Puts Parents’ Wellness First in Community Hub
When you think of parenting classes, is your first thought learning how to address your baby’s needs or your own? Given the child-focused way parenting is addressed in our society, the answer is rarely the latter, but LOOM, a new community hub in L.A., is aiming to change that. The company’s mission is to exist as “an inclusive, inviting and judgment-free space for both birth and non-birth outcomes.” To fulfill...
Winter [Break] is Coming! Five Tips for Parents with Kids on the Autism Spectrum
Yes, winter [break] is coming, which means no school for two to three weeks for a lot of students. Are you concerned about how you’ll keep your child busy? Children are accustomed to the structured routine of school. As a parent of elementary school-aged triplets who have faced neurodevelopmental challenges, I value the importance of routine and predictability. When the calendar flips to November, my wife and I start to...
Lighting the Spiritual Spark in Your Child
In order to light the spiritual spark in our kids and keep it lit, the goal is to get them to turn inward for answers. This means that we, as parents, must turn inward before we act and react so that we can give more thoughtful guidance with better outcomes. Here are a few ideas to keep daily life with your kids on a spiritual track. Start Talking Early Many...
Is It Holiday Anxiety, Or Something More?
The excitement of the holiday season is here, and that can mean big adjustments for parents and children. Parents are getting ready to take on the holidays by planning for family coming into town or getting their own families ready to travel. For kids, school is coming to a break, and they get to relax. By this time, children have become more accustomed to the new routines of the school...
“Thankful Jar” – Family Questions of Gratitude
As much as I remind my young daughters to show gratitude by saying “thank you” and other niceties, I often wonder if I’m expecting too much of them. Is it unreasonable to want my 2-year-old and 6-year-old to see beyond the immediacy of their own wants and needs and remember to extend graciousness to others? Perhaps, but I keep at it anyway. My mom raised me to regard gratitude as...
Robyn Stack Reagan: Coming Full Circle to Build Acceptance
Robyn Stack Reagan, program director of Circle of Friends – The Path to Inclusion, is mother to two adult children and has two grandchildren, one of whom just started kindergarten at the elementary school Reagan’s daughter, Ashton, attended. That first day of school brought back memories for Reagan. When Ashton started kindergarten in the 90s, she would not speak in class, had trouble making friends and was bullied. The family...
Kids’ Social Life at School: Helping Your Child Manage Without Meddling
We all know how important social life at school can be. We were kids once, too. From making new friends in kindergarten to navigating fickle social circles in middle school, forging and sustaining relationships is a huge part of growing up. Peers also play a significant role in kids’ development. “The power of the relationship is crucial in building other components of learning,” explains Christina Kim, director of student life...
The Big Emotions of Little Ones
A child’s social-emotional development during the first five years of life will affect their ability to function in school, respond to stress, adapt to change, persist in challenging situations and form meaningful relationships throughout life. Unfortunately, there is often an emphasis on promoting children’s cognitive growth in the early years, with limited attention paid to strengthening their capacity to manage emotions. Infants rely on sensitive and responsive caregiving to modulate...
Having the Race Talk with Kids: Parenting Resources by Age
I grew up in a small paper-mill town in central Louisiana during the late 1970s and ’80s – a time still rife with the lingering effects of segregation. My family lived on what folks called “the black side of town.” On the bus ride across town to school every morning, my friends and I fawned over the beautiful houses that decorated the better-paved streets in other neighborhoods, and I envisioned...
Five Ways to Help Your Child Build Confidence
We all want to see our children succeed and be happy, but in today’s challenging times, it’s easy for children to experience self-doubt if they don’t have the right tools for making good choices. Self-confidence – a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities and judgment – is a learned skill and most children rely on their parents to guide them through the process of acquiring it. This can be...
9 Ways to Help Your Kids Cope With News of the Las Vegas Shootings
As our nation mourns and reacts to another mass shooting, we at OUR HOUSE Grief Support Center are struck by the ways in which this event evokes similar feelings that arose in response to other recent traumatic events. Whether it was in the aftermath of a shooting that took place at a school, congregation, work place, vigil or nightclub, adults struggle to find the words to comfort and support their...
Growing Tomorrow’s Leaders
A lifetime ago, my incoming junior-year class was required to participate in a “leadership day” at a nearby ropes course. It was my every nightmare come true: uncharted physical activities and interacting with high-school peers who had decided long ago I wasn’t up to par. I successfully crossed a tightrope and engaged in a sharing circle without stuttering, but the memory that most stands out was falling off a swing...
Help! My Son Loves Football
In many places, September is the month that welcomes fall, bringing a dramatic shift in weather and mood. In Los Angeles, however, it’s just another summer month – sometimes even the hottest of the year. September also brings the start of football season, but for more than 20 years I had no reason to think about America’s sports obsession because Los Angeles had a lovely zero NFL teams. Then, last...
Time for a Family Tune-up at Home
In July, after 3-year-old Jackson Verner suffered strokes that left him with limited use of the left side of his body, Jenna Bollard, his music therapist at UCLA Mattel Children’s Hospital, handed him a ukulele to play. “It forced him to start using the left hand,” says Jackson’s mom, Sara. “You have to be creative with kids.” Jackson’s family uses drums in the same way. And when they put on...
Praise This, Not That: How to Praise Your Kids
There is nothing more satisfying to me than to tell my daughters how proud I am of them. I’ve always thought parents are expected to tell our kids they’re good and smart to help build their self-esteem. I was surprised to learn that some child development experts encourage parents to say things such as, “Good job,” “I’m so proud of you,” and, “You’re so smart” to our children less often....
Kids and Chores: In Defense of the Sticker Chart
There are quite a few online articles and posts about kids and rewards that speak to the dangers of sticker charts, behavior charts, reward systems or anything that involves external compensation for kids doing things that they are just supposed to do. The problem, some argue, is that if kids get used to being rewarded with prizes, they will come to expect it and only do things when there is...
2 Years on 2 Wheels: Cycling with Hank
When I was a single lad in my 20s living along the Miracle Mile, I commuted to work in Santa Monica by bicycle. Four days a week, I placed my young life in the hands of Los Angeles traffic. This was unwise according to my future wife, who worked as an RN in the ICU at Cedars-Sinai and saw countless critical bike accidents, the details of which I will mercifully spare you....
Teaching Kids About Friendship: You’re Not My Best Friend Anymore
It absolutely ruffles my feathers when I hear kids say to one another, “You’re not my best friend anymore.” I’ve heard it on the playground at school and even in my home. Some kids have said it to my 6-year-old daughter, Sofia, and, unfortunately, I’ve heard Sofia say it to her friends. I’ve wondered whether they understand how hurtful those words can be. When I heard Sofia say that to...
A Divorce Lawyer’s Tips for Parenting Through Kid Conflict
Tara Scott is a former Brentwood divorce lawyer – with a 3-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter – so she knows a thing or two about parenting through conflict. Now a family mediator in Beverly Hills, Scott has found that things she learns in her mommy-and-me group help in mediation and that her mediation skills apply at home. Here are some of her tips for wading into a disagreement between your...
Building a Social Network For the Non-sporty Kid
There is no question that team sports are amazing for the mind and body. So many important social skills are taught through working as a team and exercising the body. Additionally, friendships typically grow stronger by participating in sports outside of school. Because of this, young kids (especially boys) are traditionally signed up for the usual round of team sports – soccer, basketball and baseball. These are great, but let’s...
Dance/Movement Therapy Helps Kids With Autism Connect
The 5-year-old girl, diagnosed with autism, wasn’t used to connecting with people. She didn’t speak, made little eye contact and showed little physical awareness of others. She would sit near, even very close, to people without acknowledging them. Then Lori Baudino took her on a journey. Baudino, a Westchester-based clinical psychologist and dance/movement therapist, says the girl was very physical – but inappropriately so. “She would often hit her body...
Hitting the Beach for Summer Fun Hollywood Style
To many of us in and around Los Angeles, summer fun at the beach is an afterthought, only beckoning when the inland heat calls for relief. A friend from Studio City once referred to it as “the great A/C unit to the west.” Out-of-towners often accuse us of taking our 75 miles of Pacific coastline for granted. And they're right. I'm feeling especially salty at the moment because I recently...
Raise Readers By Starting Your Own Book Club
Like many parents, I’m guilty of turning to digital babysitting when I need a break and the kids want some summer fun. Television or cell phone games become my go-to when I need 15 to 20 minutes of peace and quiet after a long day. I know it might not seem like good parenting, but sometimes when survival mode kicks in, a little help from the television or cell phone...
Nine Tips for Tackling Tantrums
Tantrums are a common childhood experience, particularly if you are parenting kids ages 18 months to 4. When a child begins yelling, crying, kicking, whining and complaining that is out of proportion to an incident or situation, it can be frustrating, uncomfortable or embarrassing for parents or caregivers – especially when this behavior is displayed outside the home in front of bystanders. Parents may feel puzzled about how to act...
A Parenting Slow-Down With the Help of Band-Aids
I’ve always wondered about kids’ obsession with Band-Aids. At my house, we go through about two boxes of Band-Aids a week, using them for every little mark my daughters get on their bodies. They try to mend everything with a Band-Aid – including holes in their socks – even though I’ve explained to my 5-year-old year old, Sofia, that colorful Band-Aids don’t fix everything. Or do they? A couple of...
Seven Summer Activities for Learning in and Around L.A.
It’s a sweet synergy when you can have fun with your kids while they’re learning. Los Angeles is a big city with even bigger opportunities for families to discover and explore together, but you might not have heard of these lesser-known gems. Among them are a path-blazing center that rescues animals while helping kids connect with nature, a shop where you can go back and forth in time (or, rather,...
Our Millennial Dad Talks About Father’s Day
Father’s Day. When is that? Oh yeah, in June. Papas, pops, padres, daddies, daddios and plain old dads don’t get a holiday with the same play as Mother’s Day – or even the Feast of St. Joseph. (That’s a Catholic holiday in March honoring Jesus’ more-terrestrial father.) This talk of Jesus and his dads reminds me how many ways the term “dad” can be interpreted. And this reminds me of...
Father’s Day When Father Isn’t there
Father’s Day is usually an occasion for children to celebrate with their parents. Children might make cards, write stories or invite their parents to school for special programs marking the importance of their parents in their young lives. For a child whose father is absent, however, these celebrations can be confusing and even painful. A parent might have died or live in another state or town. A father could be...
Talking to Kids About the Manchester Attack
On Monday night, May 22, a suicide bomber set off explosions that killed at least 22 people and injured 59 more outside Manchester Arena in Manchester, England. The crowd was there to see a concert by pop star Ariana Grande, so many of those injured and killed were kids and families. Because of Grande’s popularity with tweens, it’s likely your kids have heard at least something about the attack. They...
On the Record: Keeping Up With the Joneses
My daughter Sofia is turning 6 years old this summer and when I asked her what she wanted to do for her birthday, she said, “I don’t want to have a party. I just want a cell phone.” I was dumbfounded because I don’t understand why she needs a cell phone. Who would a 6-year-old be calling or texting? How did she go from last year’s princess ice cream party...
Danica McKellar: On Making Math Fun During Your Child’s Wonder Years
Known for her role as Winnie Cooper on the popular coming-of-age TV series, “The Wonder Years,” and for her bestselling math books aimed at tweens and teens, Danica McKellar is now on a mission to make math fun for even the youngest kids. Her whimsical picture book, “Goodnight Numbers,” which debuted last month and landed at number seven on the New York Times picture book bestseller list, introduces young readers...
Understanding Middle School Mean Girls
Eleventh grader Natalie Hampton had always loved school. That changed in seventh grade, when fellow students at the private all-girls L.A. middle school she attended began cyber bullying and taunting her, even physically attacking her on four occasions. She almost always ate lunch alone and developed migraine headaches and gastritis. It was a common case of “mean girls” at work. Why do some girls become bullies around age 12 or...
Getting Teen Boys to Talk
Recently, a mom I know lamented that her formerly talkative son became silent when he turned 13. “He used to tell me about everything,” she said sadly. “Now it’s hard to get two words out of him and he does not share his life with us at all.” Her comment reminded me that I had suddenly felt panic 16 years ago when I was six months pregnant and realized I...
On the Record: Weathering Parenting Storms
It was Sept. 12, 2008, and I was scrambling through my house in Houston, trying to secure my family, check our emergency supplies and board up the windows while packing a duffle bag full of rain gear and non-perishable food so I could leave for Galveston Island and cover Hurricane Ike, a powerful storm approaching the Gulf Coast and expected to make landfall in less than 24 hours. The anxiety...
When the News Is Scary or Confusing
Editor's note: This is an update of a 2015 article which, sadly, is still quite relevant and timely. Television, radio, newspapers and social media bring us news of terrorist attacks and tragedy on a daily basis. And too often, as in the case of a shooting Monday (April 10, 2017) at North Park Elementary school in San Bernardino, the news is much closer to home. How can parents begin to...
Parenting Through the Politics
On election night 2016, Diane Michaeli of La Crescenta watched the returns come in with her 13-year-old daughter, Carmela. Like many families in the L.A. area, they were supporters of Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton and were surprised by the results of the presidential race. “When it slowly became apparent that she had lost, sadness descended upon us,” Michaeli says. Carmela began sobbing. “I realized that I couldn't lose myself...
The Cost of Parent Shaming
“A parent who lets their child act like that without reprimanding them is definitely raising an asshole,” a colleague said to me once. She started this conversation during a lunch meeting at a restaurant as we watched a mother wrestling with her toddler-age son who was having a tantrum. She made the comment because she knows I am a parent coach who works to end the practice of shaming parents....
Margot Machol Bisnow: On Raising Entrepreneurs
Author Margot Machol Bisnow defines entrepreneurs not just as business owners but also as musicians who put together a band, actors who organize their own careers and activists working to create a better world. As a way to explore that spirit of resiliency, outside-the-box thinking and innovation, Bisnow interviewed 60 successful entrepreneurs and their moms to discover the parenting style that helped foster these confident and creative entrepreneurs. The result...
Teaching Kids About Money: Spend, Save and Give Jars
When I told my daughter, then 4 years old, that I didn’t have money to buy her a toy, she said, “Just go to the bank and they'll give you money.” I frowned at her and tried again, explaining that I had only a $10 bill and what she wanted cost $20. She said, “It’s OK, just use your card.” I realized she had no idea about the value of...
5 Common-Sense Tips For Raising Great Kids
It’s the middle of January and many of us have broken our New Year’s Resolutions and are back to who we were in December. For parents who are looking for a way to raise their children to be respectful, likeable, and successful adults it’s not too late. Here are 5 philosophical tips that will pay dividends for years to come including: Teach your kids to leave a trail of people...
Three Everyday Questions for Your Kids
“How was school? How was your day?” That’s what I eagerly ask my 5-year-old daughter every day when I pick her up from school. My anticipation of an exciting and enthusiastic answer is quickly shot down when I get the same answer every time: a simple and monotone, “good.” That’s just not going to cut it. I need more than that! In my quest to find out what’s really on her mind, who she’s playing with, who’s not being nice...
The Importance of Sticking with Enrichment
When interest fades, should kids quit or power through? When Natasha Vogt, a San Fernando Valley mother of two, watched her younger daughter enthusiastically perform in her dance recital, she breathed a sigh of relief. Earlier, her 4-year-old had decided she wanted to quit tap and ballet lessons, but had been convinced to stick with it at least until her recital. “She enjoyed being on stage so much that we...
On the Record: The Keep-Your-Cool Challenge
A diaper blowout right before you need to leave your house. Bedtime tantrums. The constant need to repeat things like, “Hurry up, let's go,” and, “Stop doing that!” A daily routine that leaves you so tired you become aggravated at your kids for splashing water at you during bath time. There are countless ways your kids can make you lose your cool, but your reactions to these parenting trials teach...
Striking a Preschool Balance: Play-Based vs. Academic Programs
Search out the best play-based and academic elements to find the right fit for your child. When my daughter, Mirae, was 3, she came home from preschool one day raving about baby rabbits. A rabbit had given birth and burrowed her offspring in the dirt just under the swing set at Mirae’s preschool, Pierce College Child Development Center in Woodland Hills. A child found the burrow, and the adventure began....
How Your Kids Can Mindfully Succeed At School
Mindfulness and focusing have the potential to help children achieve school success with peace. I am talking about not just your peace of mind as a parent, but peace and ease for your children if they are experiencing aversion towards school or homework. Mindfully focusing at school can help students get through their day with greater ease and success. The effect of mindfulness on the brain supports increased memory, positive...
Positive Parenting: Experts Answer Your Questions For Early Childhood
We hear it all the time, and yet we can’t hear it often enough: Children’s early years matter. Your child’s first interactions with you and with others, the environment you create for your family, and your child’s earliest educational experiences influence how your child’s brain is built, and set the tone for her or his relationships with others and future learning. The idea can feel overwhelming, but by asking yourself...
When Do Children Ask ‘What If’?
You’re on the freeway and the driver in front of you slams on the breaks. You can’t avoid rear-ending the car. Still, as you pull over, you sigh with relief that the accident wasn’t serious. And maybe you are a little more cautious on your next commute. This is an example of counterfactual reasoning or “what if” thinking. It helps us feel regret when things could have gone better, relief when they could have...
A Family Legacy Worth Leaving Behind
It is a day I will never forget – Christmas 2013 in snowy Chicago, and my parents were visiting from Texas. Christmas carols were playing, festive food and decorated cookies were on the table, and I had buttery egg nog in hand and a big smile on my face as I sat to watch my then 2-year-old daughter, Sofia, open her first gift from under our tree. The first package...
Dealing With Tragic News
Whether it’s happening in Nice, Dallas, Louisiana, Orlando, Brussels or Paris, it can sometimes feel like tragedy is also taking place right in the palm of your hand – or your child’s – via social media and smartphones. “It’s just a constant bombardment of input. I was shocked to hear that kids are getting news information from Instagram,” says Caroline Knorr, parenting editor of Common Sense Media, a California-based nonprofit...
Finding the Successes in Your Child’s School Year
You open the report card and there among the As and Bs is a big fat C in math. If only, you think, we’d spent more time this year with flash cards or graphing calculators. But hold off before you cancel adventure camp and sign up for Kumon. Because when it comes to assessing your child’s school year, grades are just a starting point. In fact, an obsession with grades...
Does Your Child Have a Mood Disorder?
You already know that children and adolescents are highly emotional beings. You’ve seen first-hand how their moods can shift quickly and dramatically. Your toddler might throw himself onto the grocery store floor in anger because he can't have the cereal he wants. Your teen might begin the day talkative and cheerful, but go silently to her room after school, slamming the door behind her. And you are left to wonder:...
Take Time, Talk: Eight Ways to Support Your Child’s Language Development
Like a snowball growing as it rolls downhill, young children’s vocabulary expands faster and faster as they hear more words. However, a constant stream of words from the radio or even an educational children’s video won’t create this cumulative advantage in language processing. Instead, social interaction (the back-and-forth, turn-taking nature of conversation) and talking with infants and toddlers will build their language and communication skills. This might seem easier said...
Ace Your Next Well-child Checkup
Before they turn 3, kids are supposed to have 10 well-child visits with a pediatrician (apart from those inevitable visits for childhood illnesses). These should offer a chance to address the many questions parents of young children face, but time with the pediatrician is often less than 15 minutes – hardly enough time to cover even the basics. To make the most of that time, be prepared. Before your child’s...
6 Most Common Sleep Training Myths Debunked
Have you ever stopped to think about what the definition of “sleep training” really is? Unfortunately, several incorrect sleep training stereotypes exist, suggesting that the practice requires parents to do everything from shutting the door on an 8-week-old baby for 12 hours, to eliminating nighttime feedings, to surrendering your family values to a sleep trainer who stays overnight at your home for several weeks. As a sleep consultant, I’ve heard...
Doc Talk: Why There Are No Accidents
The other day, a 9-year-old came in to the emergency department with an elbow fractured in a way that required a surgical repair with metal pins, and a cut across the middle of his forehead that required plastic surgery. He had tried to skateboard down six stairs. In emergency medicine, we don’t call these “accidents,” because the injuries that happen by accident are almost always preventable. And the key to...
8 Creativity Boosters for Kids
One of our jobs as parents is to find new ways to inspire and encourage our children’s curiosity, creativity and interest in the world around them. Try these eight tips to spark your child’s inner artist, actor or architect. Role Playing. How often have you heard the words, “Mom, can you play with me?” And what kind of games do our kids want to play most? The most exciting and...
$1,000 Prize Offered In Dad Essay Contest
The DADLY Rally is coming to L.A., and is looking for moms who want to brag about the dads in their lives. Prior to its March 19 Los Angeles event at Kellogg Center at Cal Poly Pomona, the DADLY Rally is holding an essay contest with a $1,000 prize. Moms first register the dad they want to brag about through the DADLY Rally website (www.dadlyrally.com), then submit a 250-word essay...
Building Your Baby’s Brain
Your earliest interactions with your child set the foundation for future learning A few moms sit on the floor of a bright, airy playroom at Well Baby Center in L.A. with their 1-year-olds toddling nearby. Facilitators, family therapist interns who are Masters-level graduate students, move among the toys, babies and moms. Each time a baby approaches an adult, she or he is engaged in back-and-forth play. Each giggle or squeal...
Read Aloud Like a Rock Star
Seven Secrets from Voice-Over Actors, Teachers and Literacy Experts Early in my time volunteering with BookPALS (Performing Artists for Literacy in Schools), I picked up my first valuable lesson on what not to do when reading to kids. On that fresh, September morning, my read-aloud selection for the 20 eager third graders gathered before me at Paseo del Rey Elementary in Playa del Rey was an educational but – in...
A Plea for More Old-Fashioned Play
Happy New Year! Like many of you I also had a busy holiday season. This week, our kids were ready to go back to school, the house is slowly getting back to normal and routine is kicking in. If you are like our family, many gifts were given and received, especially anything that was device- or game-oriented. As a parent, educator and advocate for wellness and vitality, I have to...
Hot Wheelers Comes to Outside the Box
Wheelchair accessibility and new classes are part of the learning center’s expansion. Outside the Box opened its first 500-square-foot storefront in 2009. The center, devoted to sensory activities that contribute to brain development for ages 8 weeks to 6 years, has expanded a couple of times over the years, and always made good use of the space. There were bubbles. There was paint. There were musical instruments, giggles and squeals....
Talking to Kids About Therapy
If you are parenting children today, there is a good chance you have thought about taking your kids to therapy. Maybe your little one is acting out, having trouble making friends or just not listening. Or your teen is struggling in school, being victimized by bullying or engaging in risky behavior. Maybe a death, divorce or other family situation has made you wonder how best to help your child cope....
Motherhood and Managing the Holiday Blues
Most of us have an image in our minds of the perfect family holiday: Sitting together around a table eating a delicious meal and sharing family stories, or maybe cuddled in front of the fireplace with beautiful decorations all around, exchanging gifts. But these pictures often aren’t as close to our reality as we would like. The pressure to create beautiful holiday memories, coupled with the everyday pressures of being...
Dr. Shefali Tsabary: Promoting ‘Conscious’ Parenting
Becoming a parent changes us in the most profound and irrevocable ways, and it is often our children who motivate and inspire us to grow into our best selves. Through everyday interactions and ordinary moments, we have the opportunity to create a meaningful connection with our children and nurture a deep sense of resilience, tolerance and self-acceptance in them. But first we need to better understand ourselves, says Shefali Tsabary,...
What To Do When Your Kids Argue
Sibling rivalry is one of the most discussed topics in my practice. “How do I get my children to stop fighting? How do I help them get along?” No matter what the age difference between the children, this is an area of no escape. Common areas of conflict include siblings sharing rooms, siblings being rude to one another and siblings arguing when a friend is over. And when rivalries flare...
Stop Over-Parenting and Raise An Adult
In recent years, there has been a lot of talk in the media, at PTA meetings and among parents and educators on the effects of helicopter parenting – knowing when to step in to help and when to allow children to do things for themselves. A new book by Julie Lythcott-Haims does a great job exploring the topic of over-parenting and its detrimental effects on young adults. How to Raise...
Local Programs That Give Girls a Voice
Janel Pineda always knew she loved writing, but never thought about how that could impact her life. That changed when her uncle mailed her a newspaper about a Los Angeles writing program for young girls. At age 14, Pineda joined WriteGirl, where she attended writing workshops and worked closely with a mentor throughout high school. “I always wrote short stories and poems in my free time, but my school was...
Teaching Kids To Speak Up
My daughter is lost in play with a friend, and I watch as her eyes suddenly fix on the floor beneath her. The conversation is quiet and I can’t quite make out the words between them, but I can sense from her posture that she doesn’t want to speak up. The path of least resistance tends to be her favorite path, even if it means pushing her own ideas and...
Don’t Neglect Essential Social-Skills Development
“Don’t miss the forest for the trees,” so the saying goes. When it comes to parenting, the “trees” are the many academic milestones and measuring sticks society tends to focus on, and the “forest” is the bigger picture of overall development and social skills in our children. Society tends to be achievement oriented and, once children reach ages 3 to 5, their ability to verbalize, add, subtract and write takes...
Teach Life Skills This Summer
As summer begins, many parents look forward to a relaxing, stress-free two months. They are so happy to be relieved of the pressures of getting their children ready for school in the morning, making lunches and making sure homework gets done in a timely manner. The household looks forward to the less-structured environment and a vacation from routine. I understand and sympathize with this feeling of relief. However, I want...
Parenting Kids In a Multicultural Family
Each of Chanel and Ioakim Boutakidis’ two sons had a traditional Chinese Red Egg and Ginger party to mark his first month of life. Each also had a Greek Orthodox baptism, in Greece, before he turned 2. In the Boutakidis’ Altadena home, there is always a pot of rice on the stove and cucumber-and-tomato salad in the refrigerator. Their large extended family gathers for Chinese New Year and Greek Easter....
When Parenting is Not What You Expected
Los Angeles-based psychologist and neuropsychologist Rita Eichenstein, Ph.D., has worked with what she calls “atypical” children for more than 25 years. Eichenstein coined the term “atypical” to help describe kids who have combinations of developmental, behavioral and learning differences that make it difficult to fit them into neat categories of clinical diagnosis. “But what I have come to realize is that focusing on the child’s needs is not sufficient,” she...
Three Keys to Teaching Kids Gratitude
It can be difficult as parents to maintain our sense of gratitude. Our days are often full of activity, stress and fatigue. Sometimes the idea of writing in a gratitude journal can feel like the last thing we want to tack on to the end of our day. And yet we know that the more we set an intention to practice gratitude in our daily lives, the easier it becomes....
3 Ways to Help Boost Your Teen’s Self-Esteem after Rejection
Rejection is never easy. More difficult to handle, as a parent, is the rejection of your child. You feel responsible and take the rejection personally. You ask yourself, How did I fail as a parent? But even more, you ask yourself, What can I say or do to mend my child’s broken heart? As a mother or father, you’re usually at a loss as to what to do in the...
10 Ways To Show (not tell) Your Child Reading Matters to You
You’ve told your child reading is important, but your actions are far louder than words. Set a good parenting example for your child by showing how important reading is to you and your entire family. Here are ten ways to show (not tell!) your child reading is important. Let your child see you reading. Parents frequently read when children are tucked away asleep. Let them see you reading. When they...
Helping Children Succeed By Allowing Them to Fail
Nothing is stronger than the parental urge to protect our children. It’s deep in our DNA. Yet this instinct, taken to the extreme, actually makes our children vulnerable as they grow into adulthood. As a university professor, I had a front-row seat for the coming of age of several young millennials, who often were afraid to step outside their comfort zones. Their fear turned into paralysis and, after college, they...
Parenting, Self-Control and the Marshmallow Test
Welcome to the time of year when we all focus on self-discipline (or at least we try). Recently, psychologist Walter Mischel has returned to both the popular and academic press with research regarding his famous marshmallow test, an experiment involving 4-year-olds and their ability to resist eating a marshmallow placed in front of them in the hopes of receiving a larger reward later. Mischel found that children who were better...
Quiet As An Orange Rhino
After an embarrassing incident when her handyman heard her screaming at her boys, Sheila McCraith, mother of four, pledged to refrain from yelling for 365 days. She began blogging as The Orange Rhino, and chronicled her yearlong, yell-free journey. Her post “10 Things I Learned When I Stopped Yelling at My Kids” was named one of the top parenting posts in January 2014 by The Huffington Post and has garnered...
Westside Jewish Community Center offers New Program for Parents-to-be
The Westside Jewish Community Center is offering a unique new program for first-time parents. Jewish Baby University is a five-week program combining childbirth education with an exploration of Jewish tradition and rituals, concluding with a family Shabbat dinner. Each session features classes on a different topic, such as medical aspects of pregnancy and childbirth, Jewish traditions and rituals surrounding childbirth, creating a Jewish home, Jewish life in Los Angeles, family financial planning and preparing mentally and...
Developmental Benefits of Tummy Time
One of the great benefits to working as a pediatric nurse at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles is learning from colleagues from other disciplines. For example, I am co-teaching a class at CHLA for parents on how to care for a child who has a g-tube (gastrostomy tube). An occupational therapist, who is also co-teaching the class, talked about her discipline’s role in helping these children get the nutrition they need,...
5 Habits To Strengthen Your Parent-Child Bond
All relationships in life require work and effort, but building and maintaining a strong relationship with your child will most likely be one of the hardest challenges you’ll encounter. It’s not just about building a better relationship, it’s about building a connection -- a genuine connection filled with respect, communication, love and hope. Here are five habits that can help you build and maintain a strong connection with your children....
The Balancing Act: Free Play vs. Structure
Oh, summer. A more relaxed routine, bright sunshine and time that isn’t so planned. Each spring, leading up to summer, I toil with the question of how many camps to enroll my boys in. How much time should I take off from work, and how do I want to remember the summer? We all know how quickly the years go by. In our house, the first week of summer is...
The Value of Pretend Play
By Patti Rommel, Director of Research and Development at Lakeshore Learning Materials Does your child love to dress up as a fearless superhero and conquer menacing villains, or reenact a scene from his or her favorite movie with friends? Maybe your little one can transform a cardboard box into a bottomless treasure chest … with just his or her imagination! If so, your child is engaging in pretend play, an...
Parenting Help From Your Inner Child
By Dahlia Greenbaum, Parent Educator Being a parent, unlike any other experience, can fill us with heart-bursting love and full-bodied joy one moment, while moments later exposing our deepest vulnerabilities and most uncomfortable feelings. Quite a huge impact from such a small human being, right? When I meet with clients, one of the first ideas I offer is that most of parenting has nothing to do with our...
Empowering Our Daughters
A Recipe For Raising Strong, Confident Girls By Robert Moskowitz Once upon a time, people said little girls were made of sugar and spice, and everything nice. Today, most of us recognize that the recipe for raising girls not only includes more ingredients, but that too much sugar can be toxic. According to Mary Pipher, Ph.D., author of the groundbreaking and still-relevant book Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent...