In third grade at my Protestant elementary school, my teacher said that unbaptized people would be damned to hell.
“Even babies?” a student asked.
“Yes,” the teacher answered.
But we had also been taught that God was a loving god, so this did not make sense to me. How could a loving god condemn innocent babies?
“What about people in [other places] who have never heard about God?” another student asked.
“That’s why we have to support missionaries,” the teacher responded.
I raised my hand and said, “But we believe what we believe because this is what we are being taught, and they believe what they believe because that is what they’re taught. How do we know we are right?”
This did not go over well. She said something about God being omniscient and omnipotent, and if not for Satan, there would be no evil in the world, and everyone would know God.
“But if God made everything and knows everything in advance, didn’t he know Satan would be evil when he made him?” I blurted out.
However badly my first question bombed, this one landed far worse. I was sent to the Sardine Can, the inside of a refrigerator box covered in blue butcher paper. I trembled. I’d never been in trouble in school before; I had zero interest in being in trouble. I wondered if God was going to strike me dead or if my parents would do it for him.
After that day of punishment, I learned to keep my questions to myself. Instead, I spent many afternoons in the public library, secretly researching other religions, their beliefs and customs. Thus began a lifelong fascination with comparative religion.
And so, I did. And I have used everything at my disposal — including travel — to help make that journey rich, open and expansive.
At the tender age of 9, I vowed to raise my future children to feel free to ask questions about anything, answer them to the best of my ability, find others to answer the questions I could not, have respectful discussions about unanswerable questions and let them decide the path of their religious discovery.
Why cultural travel matters to kids
“Children often learn best when they can respond creatively,” says Robin L. Owens, Ph.D., professor of religious studies at Mount Saint Mary’s University in L.A. “Art, storytelling and age-appropriate technology can help them process what they are learning about different religions in a way that feels natural, engaging and accessible.
“When children are exposed early to different religions, they are more likely to see diversity as something to appreciate rather than simply tolerate,” he explains. “That can help shape them into more thoughtful, compassionate and culturally aware people.”
Rome as a living classroom
My teen daughter began displaying a deeper interest in Christianity around the same time my dear friends Paul and Dani retired to the lovely town of Giovinazzo on the Adriatic Sea in the Puglia region of Italy. In 2025, they invited us to spend a couple of days in Rome with them and then stay in their new home in Giovinazzo, a renovated monastery built in 1395 A.D.
My daughter’s spring break happened to coincide with Holy Week, and 2025 was a jubilee year in the Roman Catholic Church. Where better to experience Christianity than to immerse ourselves in the Eternal City, the home of the Catholic Church? I thought.
We jumped at our friends’ generous offer and booked our spring break adventure, eager to creatively respond to the stories of the people of Italy.
I’ve always felt that travel benefits kids and adults alike, but I figured I’d ask an expert for some deeper insights. Eric Tierk, a licensed marriage and family therapist, started travelling with his kids when they were infants, eventually visiting 71 countries with them. “Kids who travel — particularly to foreign countries — become more flexible and emotionally tough because you have to learn to go with the flow when plans eventually change in a culture that’s different than ours,” Tierk says.
“Travel helps kids see that one person’s idea of God may be different than theirs,” he says. “Learning, ‘Oh! My belief system is just one of many,’ challenges our belief systems in a healthy way. It’s difficult to harbor prejudice when you’ve interacted with people and truly experienced their culture.”
Experiencing Holy Week in Italy
On Venerdi Santo (Good Friday) in Giovinazzo, we witnessed the procession of the statues of the Passion — crosses and sacred relics often draped in black — carried by friars, priests and nuns dressed in ancient robes. It seemed the entire town of 20,000 people gathered around the port to witness the many churches walk their statues and relics to the piazza before the procession.
Some people prayed on the sidewalks. Many sat inside gelaterias, bars and ristorantes, enjoying Aperol spritzes, panzerotti and other local treats. The procession lasted hours and culminated with the relics being returned to their respective churches, most of which were open to the public late into the evening.
We entered San Giovanni Battista close to midnight, paid our respects at the altar and lit a candle for my youngest daughter, who died in 2013. Our Italian friend Dani pointed out significant art and relics while discussing the fascinating history of the nearly 1,000-year-old church. Upon hearing Dani describe the history to us, one of the men working there invited us to climb down the ladder to see the nun’s crypt, a rare opportunity.
My daughter and I had never experienced anything like this in America. We’d read about these customs, but nothing could have prepared us for the real-life experience. “There’s no way to unknow things, and knowing things experientially is the best way to know things,” Tierk says. “Despite intense research before each trip, I’ve never once found a place to be as I expected.”
Discovering Matera’s ancient roots
During our time in Italy, we also learned to sail on the Adriatic Sea, attended Giovedì Santo (Holy Thursday) services at the Cathedral Basilica of Maria Santissima della Madia in Monopoli, took in the wonders of the Sistine Chapel, Colosseum and Forum and lit candles in countless Roman churches where workers were stacking olive branches in preparation for Palm Sunday.
We were awestruck by the Rupestrian churches of Matera — continuously inhabited since the Paleolithic period — and the 9th to 12th century frescos still visible on the walls of these churches built into the natural caves, clearly demonstrating the evolution of religion in that region over millennia.
We saw the story of Christian history unfolding before our eyes through the art and design of these churches, and how much Christianity itself changed in response to culture through the years, even within the same city. “Facts matter, but stories are often what stay with children,” Owens says. “Storytelling helps them see themselves in other people’s experiences, which can open the door to a deeper understanding of both other religions and their own beliefs.”
What travel teaches families
During our daily grind, parents and teens don’t always get the best of each other, so to witness the reverence my daughter displayed in these churches, temples and archeological sites was life-altering for me. Seeing my child’s eyes filled with true wonder, awe and respect is something I will never forget.
“Mom, I think my friends would love this architecture, these churches and pace of life,” she told me. “Can we bring them when we come back?”
You know it’s a good trip when you’re already planning a return with your girl gang even before you even leave.
As Tierk says: “The best way to avoid living in an echo chamber is to get out in the world and interact with people from other cultures. It also helps us appreciate home.”
Melissa M. Monroe, Ph.D., garnered honorable mention in Writer’s Digest 2023 Self-Published Book Awards for her book, “Mom’s Search for Meaning: Grief and Growth After Child Loss.” She is a mom, writer and licensed acupuncturist in L.A. Her recent work has appeared in L.A. Review of Books, New York Times, Slate, Well+Good, Backpacker and Insider.
Editor’s note: Looking for ways to help your kids explore culture right here in L.A.? Check out Mike Sonksen’s “How to Be a Tourist at Home” and Jalpa Vaidya Patel’s “Cultural Summer Camps.”
