Resilience is a crucial skill for teens. It is about dealing with hardship, misfortune or frustration. It helps individuals survive, recover and thrive. It enables them to overcome challenges and grow stronger. It is a dynamic process that entails adapting to and overcoming adversity and challenges to bounce back.
Individuals can cultivate resilience regardless of intelligence, physical stature or ethnicity. According to resilience theory, assets (internal strengths) and resources (external support) are crucial in cultivating resilience. For teens, assets are positive attributes within themselves, whereas resources are supportive factors in their environment. Parents can use practical strategies to help their teens build resilience.
Applying resilience theory in real life
Identify and nurture personal strengths (assets)
Encourage teens to identify their strengths and positive qualities. Help them recognize their unique abilities and talents, which can boost their self-esteem and confidence. These assets include empathy, creativity, determination, problem-solving skills, etc.
Cultivate a growth mindset. A growth mindset is the belief that one’s abilities, skills and intelligence can be improved and developed through effort, feedback, set back, learning and hard work. Encourage embracing challenges as opportunities for growth. Help teens find meaning in adversity by discussing how challenges can lead to growth. Foster hope by emphasizing that tough times are temporary and that they can overcome obstacles. This helps boost self-esteem and confidence.
Encourage them to develop new skills and interests. Learning a new language, instrument or joining a community service of their choice can help them identify their passion and strengths.
Positive self-talk. Teach them to replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Remind them that everyone makes mistakes, and they have the power to learn from them and grow from them.
Goal setting. Help teens set realistic and achievable goals. This gives them a sense of purpose and direction, making it easier to stay motivated and resilient.
Build an encouraging environment and supportive networks (resources)
Build strong relationships. Solid and healthy relationships are a key aspect of resilience. Encourage your teen to connect with friends, family and mentors who offer encouragement and guidance.
Encourage involvement in positive community activities. Religious groups, sports, clubs or school activities can also strengthen supportive relationships.
Encourage open communication. Creating a “hassle-free zone” at home is critical to building resilience. This safe space allows teens to express their feelings, including stresses and anxieties, without fear of judgment or criticism. Encourage open communication with friends and parents. Parents’ life experiences can provide valuable insights.
Positive affirmations can boost confidence and resilience. Inspire your teen to become a skilled problem-solver by breaking down challenges into small tasks, encouraging critical thinking and seeking support. Foster a growth mindset that celebrates effort, and courage. Encourage teens to learn from successes and setbacks and normalize seeking help when necessary.
Resilience is like a superpower—it helps teens bounce back and thrive. By combining inner strengths (assets) with external support (resources), teens can navigate life’s challenges more effectively.
Building resilience takes time. Celebrate every small step with your teen. Sometimes, it can be one step forward and two steps backward. Keep going. We (including parents) all need encouragement.
Dr. Eichin Chang-Lim is the author of the “Talking About Adolescence” book series for teens. For more information, visit EichinChangLim.com.