As a cardiologist, I have spent years working with patients who are dedicated to caring for their families, friends and communities. They work hard to ensure everyone around them is healthy and happy, often sacrificing their own well-being in the process. While these efforts are noble, they can lead to burnout and sometimes serious health conditions, particularly when stress, poor diet and lack of exercise go unchecked.

As we approach a new year, I encourage parents to get “selfish” to ensure you prioritize your health and model that behavior to your children. The word is often used negatively, but let’s re-imagine the concept for the good of the individual and the entire family. The concept is from my book, “Selfish: A Cardiologist’s Guide to Healing a Broken Heart,” and stands for spirituality, exercise, love, food, intimacy, sleep and humor. These pillars are a call to put personal health first and model wellness for our children.

The power of ‘selfish’ for parents

For parents, the idea of being “selfish” can seem counterintuitive. We’re taught to put family first, often at the expense of our own well-being. However, research shows that children model their habits after their parents, and when we take time to care for our own well-being, we’re setting an example they will carry into adulthood. Embracing a healthy lifestyle — particularly with a focus on plant-based eating, stress reduction and physical activity — is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves and our families.

By selfish, I mean committing to principles that protect both your physical and emotional well-being:

Spiritual well-being: Find meaning and purpose while being mindful.

Exercise: Move regularly to strengthen your body.

Love: Practice love and self-love daily.

Food: Adopt a diet that fuels and sustains you, ideally with plant-based options.

Intimacy: Connect deeply with those who support you.

Sleep: Prioritize rest to renew mind and body.

Humor: Use joy and laughter to alleviate stress.

Why a plant-based diet?

Diet is foundational to health, and as a cardiologist, I’ve seen how a plant-based diet can significantly improve heart health, reduce inflammation and increase energy.

For parents, a diet high in fruits, vegetables, legumes, whole grains and nuts can fight common conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes and obesity while keeping energy up. As children see their parents choosing healthy options, they will internalize those choices as positive. By introducing plant-based meals, you can make healthy eating an enjoyable family practice and a personal commitment.

If you’re new to plant-based eating, start by incorporating more vegetables without necessarily going all in at first. Begin with plant-based versions of familiar dishes — veggie stir-fry, veggie burgers or black bean chili. Gradual changes make the transition easier for everyone.

Embracing exercise as family time

Physical activity is critical for health, yet it’s often one of the first things parents sacrifice due to time constraints. Exercise can be a shared activity, and involving kids can build lifelong healthy habits. Consider weekend hikes, family bike rides or simple habits such as regular walks.

Modeling this behavior shows kids that exercise isn’t a chore; rather, it is an integral part of life. It releases endorphins, which improve mood and reduce stress, helping you to stay resilient in the face of daily challenges.

Managing stress

Parenting comes with its own set of stressors. But ongoing stress can affect the heart, immune system and overall well-being. Plus, children pick up on the stress of adults around them. Learning effective stress management techniques can impact your health and that of everyone at home. Practices such as mindfulness meditation, deep breathing and setting aside time for self-care can transform how you respond to stress.

Even small steps matter. Taking a few minutes each morning to breathe deeply or journal can calm the mind and help you start the day from a place of centeredness. When your children see you prioritizing these practices, they learn the importance of emotional self-regulation and resilience.

Sleep as a foundation of wellness

Sleep is a vital part of wellness that we sometimes neglect. A well-rested parent is more patient, alert and energetic. Setting a sleep routine benefits you and normalizes a model of healthy sleep hygiene for everyone.

Encourage bedtime routines where everyone powers down devices and engages in relaxing activities such as reading or practicing gratitude. These habits teach children that sleep is a priority and an essential part of health.

Teaching self-care through your actions

Ultimately, embracing a selfish lifestyle isn’t about neglecting the family; it’s about meeting your own needs so you can be fully present for the family. When children see parents prioritizing self-care, they learn that health isn’t optional — it’s essential.

In the long term, a healthy lifestyle leads to better physical health, resilience and emotional stability. When we are balanced, we are more capable of providing for our loved ones in meaningful ways and creating a legacy where our children learn that self-care is important.

Embrace being selfish with your health. It’s one of the most selfless things you can do.

Columbus Batiste, M.D., is Kaiser Permanente Southern California’s Regional Chief of Cardiology and practices in Riverside County. He is the author of “Selfish: A Cardiologist Guide to Healing a Broken Heart” and is committed to empowering his patients and the community to make healthy changes in their lives.