When I was growing up, I felt a deep sense of belonging whenever I was surrounded by diversity — diverse people, food and stories. My love of learning about other cultures led me to study abroad in college, where I minored in Native American Studies. It also drove me to center cultural curiosity in my work as a school social worker and professor. Over time, I realized something important: cultural curiosity and belonging are deeply connected.
When I became a mom, I knew I wanted to pass this way of seeing the world to my daughters. I wanted them to grow up understanding that everyone belongs — and that everyone has a story.
How to talk to kids about culture and belonging
From the moment they were born, I openly talked with my daughters about the cultures of our friends and family. Diversity education often begins by teaching children that everyone is different and that these differences should be celebrated. We embraced that fully by reading diverse books, watching shows with broad representation and celebrating as many cultural holidays as we could.
Like most curious kids, my daughters naturally began asking questions about their friends: “Where are my friends from? They look different, eat different snacks and like different things.”
Many parents pause when these questions arise. Noone teaches us how to answer them, and it’s not always easy to know what to say. How do we respond honestly, thoughtfully and in a way to nurture respect?
Connecting land, history, identity
To answer, I put on my cultural curiosity hat and grounded our conversation in the land itself. I explained that Indigenous peoples are the first caretakers of this land and continue to care for it today. And I stressed that, over time, families have come from many places, each bringing their own heritage and stories.
The more I repeated this idea, the more it took root in my children’s hearts: Everyone belongs —and everyone has a story.
I didn’t fully realize the impact of these gentle maternal teachings until my eldest was 5.We ran into one of my coworkers, a fellow school social worker and therapist. My daughter casually asked her, “Where are you from?”
My coworker smiled and replied, “From here!”
Without missing a beat, my 5-year-old effortlessly responded, “Oh cool! You’re Native American?”
What followed was a beautiful moment. My coworker then gave her family story: German roots, moving from the East Coast to the West Coast. It made perfect sense to my daughter, who then went on with her playing as if nothing extraordinary had happened.
Later that day, my coworker, said to me, “Jalpa, what a beautiful way to view our world: We all have a story.”
In real time, everything came into focus: I had been building for my children the foundation of meaningful diversity education. As parents, we are our children’s first teachers. With each new conversation and shared story, we have the opportunity to nurture empathy, curiosity and a sense of collective belonging as global citizens.
When children understand that people and land are deeply connected through history, they effortlessly discover that everyone has a story. And everyone belongs.
Simple ways to practice cultural curiosity at home
Try this with confidence the next time your child asks, “Where are they from?” Know that in doing so, you are opening a new way for them to see their world.
“You know, this land has always been home to Indigenous peoples. They cared for it first and continue to care for it today. Over time, families from many places brought their own roots and stories. That’s why everyone has a story.”
You can also foster cultural curiosity by:
- Sharing your own family story at bedtime or over dinner.
- Talking openly and joyfully about friends’ cultures and traditions
- Reading books and watching shows that show everyday life in different communities
- Visiting cultural restaurants, festivals and museums together
- Modeling curiosity by saying, “I don’t think I know. Let’s learn together!”
Start by exploring your own family history. Where did your ancestors come from? What brought your family to live here today? These conversations invite children to see diversity not as something distant, but as something we all have.
And when you don’t know the answer, simply say so. We don’t always have the answers, but we can always be curious.
A powerful pathway to belonging
Helping children understand that everyone has a story is a powerful pathway to belonging. It shapes the way they travel through the world — with respect, empathy and openness to the experiences of others.
When we give children the language to shift from asking, “Where are they from?” to “What’s their family story?,” we open the doorway to deeper connection and collective belonging.
This, parenting friends, is the bright and joyful way for children to see the world. We all have a family story of heritage and meaning. As author Arundhati Roy reminds us: “Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.”
Jalpa Vaidya Patel, L.C.S.W., P.P.S.C. is a school social worker, adjunct professor and mother who is passionate about cultural curiosity and belonging. She is the author of the forthcoming children’s picture book, “Wizzy the Worldly Tree.”Follow her work on Instagram @wizzysways.
