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True Food Kitchen Guacamole Recipe: Getting Sneaky With Kale

Published

By Christina Elston

guacamole recipe

True Food Kitchen El Segundo Executive Chef Jordan Herigstad grew up cooking, and says food is a way to bring family and friends together. PHOTOS COURTESY TRUE FOOD KITCHEN

True Food Kitchen offers healthy, tasty cuisine at locations across the U.S., including five in Southern California. It’s not exclusively vegetarian, but it is a great place to show the kids how fun veggies can be.

True Food Kitchen El Segundo‘s Executive Chef Jordan Herigstad recommends the restaurant’s Kale Guacamole as a fun dish for families to make together at home. Herigstad grew up with four brothers and took an early interest in cooking. “I remember when I realized this is what I want to do,” he says. “I was 8 years old. I was in my mom’s kitchen.” Growing up, he spent lots of time in the kitchen, watching and helping his mom cook and enjoying big meals with family and friends. “It was a way to bring people that we cared about and loved together,” Herigstad says.

In this guacamole, blanching helps break down the kale a bit, making the texture more pleasant. And the citrus adds some brightness and sweetness. Herigstad promises the poblanos are mild because they are roasted, seeded and peeled. “The flavor is what you’re really left with, not the spice,” he says. Don’t over-char them or you’ll soften the flesh and make them harder to peel.

Preparing the citrus requires some technique. Don’t just peel and pull the oranges and grapefruit apart. Cut off the peel with a knife, then carefully slice between the segments so that you have only slices of pulp with no bitter white pith attached. Search “segment an orange” online for videos that demonstrate how to do this.

At True Food Kitchen, this guacamole is served with house-made pita chips, but Herigstad says you can find good store-bought options at Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s. You can also serve it with Persian cucumber, organic carrots or any vegetable sturdy enough to scoop it up. To find the True Food Kitchen nearest you, visit their website at www.truefoodkitchen.com.

Kale Guacamole From True Food Kitchen

Serves 4-6 guacamole recipe

½ cup kale

⅓ cup poblano peppers

⅛ cup cilantro, chopped

⅛ cup green onions, chopped

⅓ cup grapefruit segments

⅓ cup orange segments

½ teaspoon sea salt

4 avocados

Remove the stems from the kale and blanch the leaves in boiling, lightly salted water until tender (about 45 seconds). Shock the kale in ice water until chilled, squeeze dry, finely mince and set aside.

Hold the poblano pepper with tongs and slowly rotate over a gas flame until charred on all sides. Peel the skin, remove the seeds, finely mince and set aside.

Peel the avocados and lightly smash in a large bowl. Mix in the blanched kale, poblano, cilantro, onions, citrus and salt until well incorporated.

Keeping Little Hands Clean

Published

By Christina Elston

kids health in los angelesAt the end of February, a study of 94,000 children across the U.S. found that rates of one type of antibiotic-resistant bacterial infection – that kids picked up in the community, not in hospitals – had jumped dramatically between 2007 and 2015.

The researchers, who reported their findings in the “Journal of the Pediatric Infectious Diseases Society,” note that these infections were once confined to hospitals. These infections are difficult to treat and associated with lengthy hospital stays and increased risk of death, and experts are concerned about their spread into the community.

The bacteria themselves, called Enterobacteriaceae, are common. “Those are bacteria that actually live inside us all the time,” says pediatric infectious disease specialist Anand Vikram, M.D., of Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. Vikram, who was not involved in the study, says these bacteria live in the gut, and exposure to antibiotics can make them resistant.

When the bacteria leave the intestinal tract (the same way food waste does), they can cause infections – often in the urinary tract. Resistant Enterobacteriaceae can be passed between humans, and even cause other Enterobacteriaceae to become resistant. “There’s no really easy way to escape them,” Vikram says.

It’s enough to send a mom running for the hand sanitizer. But wait! A few days after the superbug study came out, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported a rise in the number of kids ages 12 and under ingesting hand sanitizers and getting sick. Consequences of drinking the alcohol-based gels could include breathing trouble and even death.

What to do? “The best tool we have for fighting infection is just normal soap and water,” says Vikram, who reminds parents to teach kids to wash their hands before eating and – especially – after using the bathroom. Proper technique is important and involves lathering thoroughly for at least 30 seconds. “Make bubble gloves,” Vikram says, adding that soap can combat some viruses and bacteria that hand sanitizers cannot.

Other measures you can take include fully vaccinating your family (including that annual flu shot) and resisting the urge to nudge your doctor for antibiotics when your child is sick. “That includes parents, too, who get the same virus that their kids get,” Vikram says, pointing to a study last year that found that 30-50 percent of prescribed antibiotics are unnecessary. “There are certainly still reasons to give antibiotics to children,” he says, but they won’t help with even the nastiest common cold.

You can still carry that hand sanitizer for situations where soap and water aren’t available. Just use it mindfully. “Treat it as a chemical, just like you would your bleach and your cleaning agents,” Vikram advises. “You have to pay it that respect.”

A Straightforward Approach to Parenting Teen Girls 

Published

By Elena Epstein

parenting teen girlsWondering why your sweet girl is starting to push you away? Psychologist Lisa Damour, Ph.D., is an expert in parenting teen girls and she has some good news. The teen years, she assures parents wondering why we have suddenly become “inexplicably annoying and totally irrelevant,” are “the psychological equivalent of putting training wheels on a bike.”

In her book “Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions Into Adulthood,” Damour does an excellent job of combining solid research, real-life examples and stories from her experience counseling adolescent girls and their parents. As a mom of two daughters, I found Damour’s voice authentic, giving us a map of teen development from pre-puberty to adulthood with specific examples of what’s typical and what’s alarming behavior. She covers such topics as:

  • How to talk to our girls
  • How to set limits
  • The benefits of and problems with social media
  • Peer relationships
  • Dating and sex
  • Alcohol and drugs
  • Food and weight issues
  • Anxiety over school and test scores

Damour offers a good metaphor to help us better understand the push-pull relationship with our teen: “Consider the metaphor in which your teenage daughter is a swimmer, you are the pool in which she swims and the water is the broader world. Like any good swimmer, your daughter wants to be out playing, diving or splashing around in the water. And, like any swimmer, she holds on to the edge of the pool to catch her breath after a rough lap or getting dunked too many times.”

The book will be released in paperback this month and is available on Amazon here.

Arts, Ability and Imagination

Published

By Donna Tetreault

kids with disabilities

Jason Weissbrod, left, co-founder of Spectrum Laboratory, works on a virtual reality film with some of his students. PHOTO COURTESY SPECTRUM LABORATORY

Georgia O’Keeffe, the painter known as the “Mother of American Modernism,” once said, “I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn’t say any other way – things I had no words for.” O’Keeffe’s words say so much about art and what it can mean in one’s life.

In Los Angeles, we celebrate inclusion in arts programs. Many children with disabilities are taking their first dance steps, performing in their first music videos and imagining their first film projects because of the amazing programs available in one of the most creative places on Earth.

Meet The Girl Inside

We begin with Abbey Romeo Lutes. She is 18 now, but when she was 14 she began a journey to understand her autism. Here’s how Lutes described her brain: “My stupid brain. I want to rip it out and give it to someone else. I want a typical kid’s brain and put it in my head.”

Lutes’ mother, Christine Romeo, says Lutes has been aware that she is different since she was a toddler. “As life became more demanding, she came up with the idea that a little girl lives inside her,” Romeo says. “She is the one with autism who misbehaves, not Abbey. That is what it feels like. So Abbey is fully aware and has the desire to participate, her brain just can’t execute it.”

Then Romeo found a place in Los Angeles that would change everything – the Spectrum Laboratory film and music program. With the help of Spectrum Laboratory, Lutes wrote the lyrics to a song called “The Girl Inside” and sang the song in a music video: I don’t got no control. I ain’t got no control. I can’t let go, this girl inside, this girl inside. It’s not me.

kids with disabilities

Abbey Romeo Lutes uses music and video to understand her autism, with the help of Spectrum Laboratory. PHOTO COURTESY CHRISTINE ROMEO

“In 100 years, I could never imagine she could be capable of this,” says Romeo.

Jason Weissbrod, who co-founded Spectrum Laboratory two years ago, calls the program “a platform for the autistic community to get their art out there and raise autism awareness. We help them, we guide them and show their talent,” he says.

Since working with Spectrum Laboratory, Romeo says Lutes’ self-awareness has gone “from one to 100,” because seeing herself on video helps Lutes understand how she shows herself to the world.

Spectrum Laboratory is in its infancy, but the founders have big plans. They want to start a conservatory with classes in the arts for anyone on the autism spectrum who wants to be a part of what they call an “experimental place.” Weissbrod is a filmmaker and co-founder Garth Herbeg is a musician and composer. “We teach film, music, animation, writing, editing and song production,” Weissbrod says. “There are a lot of artists with a lot of talent. The side note is that they are people who have autism. The artists have big dreams. ”

Spectrum Laboratory (www.speclabs.org) empowers artists on the autism spectrum to create original works of film and music. They provide collaboration with professionals and help their student artists learn the skills of their craft. Kids and adults of all ages are welcome and classes are held at Spectrum’s Leo Baeck Campus (1300 N. Sepulveda Blvd., L.A.) and Music Space Studios – Studio West (14801 Oxnard St., Van Nuys).

Dance If You Want To

In Santa Monica, Free To Be Me Dance hooks up kids with Down syndrome with a community where friendship, love and ballet collide. Daisy Mercado is limited in her vocabulary, but her older sister, Karina Cruz, says she lets her know Free To Be Me Dance makes her happy. “For Daisy, it’s been really nice because it has helped her socialize and made her more confident,” Cruz says. Mercado attends class once a week and participates in public performances. “It’s great for me, too,” Cruz says. “The community is supportive. It’s like we are a little family.”

kids with disabilities

Colleen Perry, founder and director of Free To Be Me Dance, has her dancers focus on self-expression. PHOTO COURTESY FREE To BE ME DANCE

Colleen Perry, founder and director of Free to Be Me Dance, says she sees her students build self-confidence, attention and focus. “It’s all about self-expression for them,” she says. “We don’t focus on the perfection of ballet. It gives them acceptance.”

Perry is now in her eighth season at Free to Be Me Dance (www.free2bemedance.com) and had never taught before when she started – though she had studied ballet for 17 years. What is most important for her is seeing her students become part of their community. Perry reports that some of her students are now participating in school life through cheerleading, drill team and school plays. One of her students is even working toward earning a black belt. The dance sessions are fun and filled with joy, but inclusion into the community is the goal.

Classes for ages 7 and up include hip-hop, ballet and tap and there is a “Moving and Grooving” class for ages 2-7. Free to Be Me has studios in Long Beach and Orange County, and on the Westside.

Steps Toward Inclusion

Infinite Flow, a dance company in Sherman Oaks, is on a mission to increase access to quality dance instruction for people with disabilities in inclusive environments. Founder Marisa Hamamoto is intent on building a world-class professional dance company that includes dancers with and without disabilities  – some who use wheelchairs – as a vehicle to break stereotypes and perceived barriers.

kids with disabilities

Infinite Flow Dance Company in Sherman Oaks brings together standing dancers with dancers who use wheelchairs to create a unique, inclusive program. PHOTO COURTESY INFINITE FLOW

Hamamoto believes bringing ambulatory children and children who use wheelchairs together creates lessons for life. “Each person is different,” she says. “Disability is just another trait like short or tall. Infinite Flow values inclusion over disability and everyone is learning from each other.” Standing and wheelchair dancers perform together and function in equal roles whether it’s dance, public speaking or leadership. Hamamoto is working toward a world where inclusion is mainstream.

Infinite Flow (www.infiniteflowdance.org) classes are currently held in Sherman Oaks. Dancers learn ballroom and hip-hop. Members of Infinite Flow Kids are also given the opportunity to propose their own Infinite Flow projects, which have included fundraisers and choreographing their own dances.

Infinite Flow Kids is open to age 7 and up, though younger kids are admitted if they display maturity and ambition. The group is audition-only, and dancers must display rhythm and coordination and ability to take direction and include and cooperate with fellow dancers of varying abilities and backgrounds.

A Few Additional Programs

The number of Southern California programs that help kids with disabilities connect with their inner artist, dancer, musician or filmmaker is impressive and growing fast. Here are a few more to consider:

Able ARTS Work: This program – with studios in Long Beach, Gardena and Hawthorne – is dedicated to providing “lifelong learning, community service and vocational opportunities through the creative arts for people with disabilities of all ages in an environment of warmth, encouragement and inclusion.” In addition to day programming for adults with disabilities at its various locations, Able ARTS Work offers accessible arts workshops in schools and through community organizations, a Mobile Arts Program to bring creative arts therapy to people with disabilities who cannot attend a day program, a clinic that employs creative arts therapies for children with a variety of disabilities, and a vintage camper that brings pop-up inclusive arts and music workshops and exhibits to community events. The organization also hosts two community art galleries where artists of all abilities show their work.

The Music Therapy Wellness Clinic at CSUN: The clinic provides individually designed music activities for children and adults with a variety of disabilities, including developmental and learning disabilities, physical disabilities and mental and emotional disorders. The Rising Star Choir, geared toward children with autism, sings music of different styles as well as music that the choir members compose individually and as a group. Non-music goals such as socialization, self-esteem, attention to task and the creative process are also addressed. The Sunshine Singers is a music therapy group for young adults with a wide array of challenges that rehearses and performs as a choir. Learn more by calling 818-677-5663 or emailing csunmtwc@csun.edu.

Ballet for All Kids: This organization offers ballet training to all children regardless of ability. All are welcome to come and dance, including children with autism, learning and developmental disabilities, anxiety disorders, behavioral issues and ADHD. They also welcome children who are blind, deaf or non-ambulatory as well as typical children who would like a fun and relaxed way to learn ballet. They have locations in Agoura Hills and Encino.

Christine Romeo, Abbey Lutes’ mom, says a disability can often change your perspective on your child’s progress and what achievement looks like. “It slows you down to the mini miracles, like tying your shoe. But you eventually get to tying your shoe, even if it takes a year and a half,” she says. The arts can provide kids with opportunities for other mini miracles – and even major ones. And our creative community is ready, willing and able to help make them happen.

Donna Tetreault is Parenting Contributor at FOX 11. She is also a contributor for The Insider, the ‘Parents’ Guide’ on CBS and a Huffington Post blogger. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband, Andrew, and their two young sons.

Helping Kids With Autism Find Work

Published

By Christina Elston

 

work for autistic

At Autism Works Now classes, young adults on the autism spectrum learn the skills they need to find – and keep – a job. PHOTO COURTESY AUTISM WORKS NOW

Joanne Lara sees too much of what she calls the “school-to-couch” model. “Fifty thousand kids a year in this country are graduating high school with autism, with no place to go,” says the executive director of Autism Works Now (AWN), an innovative nonprofit that teaches workplace-readiness skills.

They end up on their parents’ couch because they don’t know how to find and keep a job – and because their parents, after years of arranging therapies, services and education, didn’t realize their kids would need job skills, too.

Job interviews are the first hurdle. Moms and dads should never call to arrange one for their child, but should offer advice about what to wear and how to answer interview questions. “The very last one is always, ‘Why should we hire you?’ and our kids say, ‘I don’t know,’” Lara says.

She suggests role play. Have your child knock, come into the room, shake your hand and take a seat. Then go over questions they might be asked. “When they know the interview script, they do much better,” Lara says. For that tricky last question, make a list of your child’s strengths, which might include computer skills, attention to detail, that they are a hard worker or that they always show up on time.

AWN offers classes where candidates ages 17 and up with autism learn to identify job options, gain interview and workplace skills and take field trips to local businesses to meet hiring managers and senior executives. Founded in 2015, the organization received a Community Grant from Autism Speaks last year and will soon be vendored by Westside Regional Center.

Lara and AWN Director Susan Osborn have also written a book, “Teaching Employment Skills to 14-17 Year Olds,” due out in September. The book, targeted to parents, educators and people with autism, lays out the Autism Works Now method of teaching workplace readiness skills. “It’s like a workbook,” Lara says, adding it is “choc-full of real workplace objectives.” Autism advocate Temple Grandin wrote the foreword.

Families can learn more about the book, AWN’s classes in Woodland Hills and possible new sessions coming to Culver City at www.autismworksnow.org.

 

Help Your Kids Improve at Music by Praising Mistakes

Published

By Jennifer Paterson

kids improve at music

Praising your child’s hard work, rather than her talent, will make her more likely to practice and succeed at music. PHOTO BY BILL DAVENPORT/FREEIMAGES.COM

It may seem counterintuitive, but telling your children they’re good at something — whether it be math, sports, or music — is a surprisingly effective way to ensure they don’t get any better at it!

How could complimenting your children possibly be a bad thing? It’s not the compliment that’s the issue, but what you compliment. Did you praise your child’s talent on the clarinet, or the hours of practice and effort she put into learning a new song?

More than three decades of research has shown that praising ability, rather than effort, encourages a “fixed mindset” about intelligence. In other words, it may lead your children to believe that ability is innate and static, and therefore unaffected by patience, hard work, or dedication. When it comes to a child’s perceptions, having a fixed mindset about intelligence can actually hold him back from trying to improve.

What does this mean for parents? If you wish for your children to succeed in music (or anything else, for that matter), refrain from praising their talent, regardless of their current skill level.

Why the Fixed Mindset is so Damaging

The issue with phrases such as, “You’re so talented!” or, “You’re amazing on the violin!” is that this kind of praise fosters the belief that when it comes to skill, people either have it or they don’t.

To a child with this mindset, this means challenges are threatening, failure is demoralizing, and criticism is outright crippling. The critique of one note played out of tune becomes an attack on the self, rather than an opportunity for growth. When children identify their sense of “self” with their talent, they stop seeing success as a process. Often, they lose motivation to keep trying when things become difficult. They are more concerned with maintaining their status of goodness or smartness than with exploring how to become better.

Moreover, they perceive the processes of striving to learn and improve their skills as the hallmarks of the less good, the less smart; assuming if they can’t do it through natural ability alone, they shouldn’t do it at all. In this case, if your child attempts to play a new song and fails to execute it perfectly the first time, he may feel this proves he isn’t a “good” musician.

The Growth Mindset: Success is Built on Failure

But it is through making mistakes that we learn. In the digital age of social media, we have become accustomed to consuming the highlight reels of other people’s success. We see the child accepted to the prestigious music school or the adult offered the high-paying gig, but we miss out on the blood, sweat, and tears that got them to that point. This skewed perception leads us to assume that failures are things to be ashamed of, not opportunities to get better.

It’s important for parents to praise and encourage their kids, but make a point to praise your child’s hard work and dedication, not their musical ability alone. Focusing on effort, rather than ability, engenders a “growth mindset” — a view of intelligence that embraces process over perceived talent, and recognizes failure as an important component of success.

Multiple studies have shown that children who perceive mistakes as problems to be solved — rather than the result of personal ineptitude — consistently perform better and improve their skills further than children who believe intelligence is fixed. They look forward to challenges as opportunities to learn, rather than potential threats to their self-image.

Create Goals, Not Expectations

The key to fostering a growth mindset in your children is to highlight goals instead of expectations. When a child’s identity becomes linked to a specific goal — such as, “I want to play as well as Yo-Yo Ma” or “I want to join a professional orchestra” — he can unlock nearly limitless motivational energy.

The learning process becomes the focus, rather than the ease (or difficulty) of achieving success. In fact, in one study on a group of young musicians, the children who envisioned themselves as adult musicians learned 400 percent faster than the children who did not.

How to Encourage Music Learners Effectively

Teach them how to practice. If a child plays her instrument for an hour, but only plays songs she has already mastered, she hasn’t used her time effectively to make progress in improving her skills. Learning happens at the edges of our ability, meaning we have to constantly push ourselves beyond what is comfortable, and make lots of mistakes to get better. Encourage your child to spend time practicing new and challenging songs. Praise her for her dedication and perseverance when she makes mistakes.

Encourage slow practice. While we all marvel at musicians who can fly through scales and difficult compositions at astonishing speeds, it’s important to recognize that it was painstakingly slow practice that got them there. Slow practice, in nearly any discipline, allows to you correct errors and to establish the muscle memory necessary for accuracy at higher speeds. If your child is struggling with a new technique, encourage him to slow it down. Praise him for the fabulous effort he’s putting into mastering this new skill.

Don’t micromanage. While your natural instinct may be to assign your child to practice for a set amount of time each day or enroll in a certain number of programs, the reality is, love will trump duty every time. Passion, not guilt, is what fuels hard work. The best thing you can do for your child is to encourage her to keep trying and offer useful learning strategies.

Help her break down particularly challenging pieces into smaller, more manageable challenges to overcome — the first chord, the first several bars, the first movement of a piece — and watch as she enjoys the feeling of mastery that comes with meeting each one. Allow her to make mistakes and corrections at her own pace, and compliment her on her self-management skills.

How to Shift Your Praise Vocabulary

Fostering the growth mindset in your children will likely involve adjustments to the encouraging phrases you use. Focus on reframing your words to steer away from your child’s intelligence or ability, and instead praise the techniques he employed to achieve that success, the courage he showed to face challenges and the determination with which he worked through them.

It might sound something like this: kids improve at music

  • “I like that you took on a difficult piece of music for your final exam. It will take a lot of slow practice to perfect, but you are going to learn so much in the process.”
  • “I like the way you tried many different strategies for learning that really hard passage. I could tell that you practiced the relevant scales and played it at different speeds and with varied punctuation, until you were comfortable with it.”
  • “You really practiced a lot before band practice! Your instructor is sure to notice how much you’ve worked to get better.”

It may take a bit of unlearning in the beginning (you’re sure to hear an old phrase slip out from habit), but in the long run, choosing to praise effort over ability will have a positive, profound, and potentially life-changing impact on your children. Teach them to love learning, by showing them how to take pleasure in the process, and watch as they willingly and happily seek out new challenges and improve their skills along the way.

Jennifer Paterson is the founder and president of California Music Studios. She has degrees from Boston University, The Royal Conservatory of Music of Toronto and the University of British Columbia. She was a recipient of The Canada Council Award to study at the Royal Opera House in London, and was the principal soprano for the Boston Lyric Opera Company.

Local Girl Scouts Bring Seniors Cute Puppies and Kittens

Published

Submitted by Girl Scouts of the USA

community news

Hermela Amanuel(left) and Melanie Marx(right) with a senior (middle) and one of the animals they brought to the Culver City Senior Center. PHOTO BY DEBORAH MAY FOR MICHELSON FOUND ANIMALS

Melanie Marx and Hermela Amanuel, Girl Scouts from Troop 1615, partnered with Michelson Found Animals Adopt & Shop to bring cats and dogs to the Culver City Senior Center in February. The girls were asked to identify an issue they care about and to create a project to help raise awareness in the community. They chose the theme “The Health Benefits of Pets for Senior Citizens.” Through this project, titled ‘Pet-a-Pet Day,’ the girls will receive their Girl Scout Silver Award, the 2nd highest award a Girl Scout can achieve.

“There is a growing body of scientific research showing that people are happier and healthier in the presence of animals, but above all these remarkable girls wanted to make a difference in their community and we celebrate that,” said Aimee Gilbreath, executive director of Michelson Found Animals Foundation. “When we first heard of the opportunity to be a part of this, it was a no-brainer for us as we champion the mutually beneficial health benefits of people and pets. We are so thrilled to see children wanting to get involved with animals and to help those in their community.”

Michelson Found Animals brought their Catty Wagon, a mobile adoption truck inspired by the nationwide food truck craze. During kitten season the adoption center on wheels is loaded with kittens, and in off-seasons is filled with cute cats and small dogs. It features two onboard meet-and-greet rooms and starter products new pet owners may need. Along with the truck, the Adopt & Shop team brought animal crates to be placed outside of the vehicle for seniors who couldn’t physically come on board. To kick off the event, Melanie and Hermela shared a presentation on what inspired them to bring adoptable animals and seniors together. Following the presentation, their troop engaged with seniors and helped them visit with the animals. 

Parenting Through the Politics

Published

By Christina Elston

 

parenting and politics

Amy Kiehl Miller, her daughters and her husband marched as a family in the Women’s March Jan. 22. “It was an important statement for us to make as a family to each other and the general population,” she says. PHOTO COURTESY AMY KIEHL MILLER

On election night 2016, Diane Michaeli of La Crescenta watched the returns come in with her 13-year-old daughter, Carmela. Like many families in the L.A. area, they were supporters of Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton and were surprised by the results of the presidential race.

“When it slowly became apparent that she had lost, sadness descended upon us,” Michaeli says. Carmela began sobbing. “I realized that I couldn’t lose myself in that moment and moving forward I had to model positive actions,” says Michaeli.

Whether your family is also unhappy with the results of the November election or you’re just unnerved by the uncertainty, divisiveness and nasty rhetoric that is now prevalent, the current political climate presents challenges for parents.

You’ll need to deal with your anxiety – and your child’s – whether that comes from policies you disagree with or assertions that economic and social collapse and terrorist attacks are imminent.

Investigate Anxieties

Before trying to address your kids’ worries, find out what those might be. Ask what your children have heard is happening in our country and what their friends are talking about. Isaiah Pickens, Ph.D., is assistant director of service systems at the National Center for Child Traumatic Stress at UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute and Hospital. He points out that younger children might be hearing words they don’t even understand, adding to their fear. “First, find out what your kid knows,” Pickens says. “Then you can start providing comfort.”

Realize that your children’s fears might show up as feelings of stress but also might take the form of frustration, depression or acting out – including getting into fights with siblings or kids at school. Your own fears and uncertainties, meanwhile, could make you less patient in dealing with your kids, or less available to them because you find you need more time for yourself. “When parents have a sense of uncertainty, it can potentially compromise your parenting,” says Pickens.

Talk with your children about their feelings and your own. That’s the approach Amy Kiehl Miller, Larchmont-area mom of daughters ages 11 and 13 and Girl Scout troop leader, took. “I have had open and frank discussions with my children, acknowledged their fears and cried with them,” Miller says. “Some might think that letting them see I am vulnerable could make them more nervous, but I really believe that if you let it out, discuss it, acknowledge it – no matter what ‘it’ might be – some of the scariness goes away and the whole issue becomes more manageable.”

Share the Facts

Correcting any misinformation or distortions your children have heard will help them feel safer. “Provide accurate information about what is happening,” Pickens advises. Do this in an age-appropriate way, but don’t skirt the issue. “As parents, we want to fix what’s wrong, but sometimes that can be invalidating to kids’ experience,” Pickens says. “Be authentic.”

Pasadena-based clinical psychologist Enrico Gnaulati, Ph.D., suggests one way to put things in terms kids will understand. “People elected a president who’s got qualities of a bully,” Gnaulati says. “Some people think that’s a sign of power, but it really isn’t.” You can also point out that the president doesn’t always act on the things he says. “He’s impulsive. He says things without thinking first, and I think that’s a nice lesson for kids to learn,” says Gnaulati.

And if your family feels they or friends or loved ones are threatened by current political developments, talk about that as well.

La Cañada-based journalist and chef Kaumudi Marathe says her 15-year-old daughter, Keya Bajaj, has been frightened because Marathe and Bejaj’s father are not U.S. citizens, though they do have green cards. Bejaj has also been worried about her best friend, who is Syrian. “Keya has grieved with her and the two cried together the day after the election,” Marathe says.

parenting and politics

Diane Michaeli, fourth from left holding the bright pink sign, attended the Women’s March in L.A. with daughter Carmela, at far right, and says the march helped Carmela feel like she is not alone in her views. PHOTO COURTESY DIANE MICHAELI

Marathe and her daughter had long conversations about the election and current events, but she found herself with few answers and little comfort to give. “All I could do was hug her and say that the human spirit was strong and we would get through this,” she says. “That the people who voted for Trump felt they had reasons to do so and we must respect their choices but not allow injustices in our watch. If we saw someone being hurt or bullied, we had to step in and help.”

Showcase Your Support System

The National Center for Child Traumatic Stress has lately heard from many people worried about their immigration status. Pickens advises those who are parents to talk with their children about their emergency plans in case of arrest or deportation. “Share with the kids what you will do if that were to happen, where they will go, with whom they will stay and how you will be working to get back together,” he urges.

You should also think back on another time when your family faced a serious challenge, remind your kids of that and explain how you overcame those circumstances. Let them know that you are staying on top of these issues and have a plan to keep them safe, and remind them of all the friends, neighbors and extended family who are here to help. “Help crystalize just how big your support network is,” Pickens says.

Learn About Civics

This is also a great time to teach your kids about our democracy. “We’re all getting a massive education about our political system right now,” says Terri Harrah, Santa Clarita mom of 9-year-old and 12-year-old boys. Though she’s not delighted by recent political developments, she says that she’s been having “big conversations” with her sons about human rights and other political topics her parents never addressed with her.

In Kiehl Miller’s family, they read New Yorker magazine and newspapers and talk about what they read. She also recommends talking about the Civil Rights Movement that began in the 1960s. “Let the kids draw their own conclusions about how we, as a society, take two steps forward and one step back,” she says. “Let them know that the next time we take two steps forward, they will be longer and easier because we have been there before.”

Agoura mom of three Rina Baraz Nehdar supported a third-party candidate in the election, and didn’t miss sharing a teachable moment with her sons. “My 6- and 8-year-old boys have grown up going to protests and rallies and know they have a voice in their government,” Nehdar says. “Even if the candidate we liked did win, I told them there would still be policies they would implement that would oppose what we believe in. No one can give you everything you want. We would still make calls and write emails to our representatives. We would still attend protests and let them know the issues that were important to us, and why.”

Clarify Your Values

Many parents are taking advantage of this time to remind their children of their family’s values. Harrah says that her sons, at their level of maturity, think some of President Donald Trump’s bombast is funny and cool. “Whether I like it or not, this guy’s a role model,” she says.

politics and parenting

Terri Harrah and her family took the train to the Women’s March in L.A. in January. She says they came away from the march with “a sense of hope.” PHOTO COURTESY TERRI HARRAH

When she took her family to the Women’s March in January, she had to explain to her sons some of the things Trump has said about women – and clarify that this isn’t OK with her. “I think this is helping people fine-tune their values, and what they really want their kids to learn,” Harrah says.

Many local families attended the march together, with parents using the event to teach their kids about causes they believe in. Gnaulati applauds this idea. “Look for very targeted ways to stand up for what you believe in, political and otherwise,” he advises. This might mean making donations, volunteering or joining demonstrations.

After attending the Women’s March with her daughter, Michaeli chose a cause where they could volunteer together weekly. “So, my daughter and I both volunteer at a transitional home for women and children,” she says. Michaeli also started teaching yoga at a women’s prison. “I believe showing my daughter through example how and where to put your energy is the best thing to do in the face of this current political disaster,” she says.

Create Some ‘Normal’

Gnaulati and Pickens warn, however, not to let this all overwhelm family life. “It’s easy to get tantalized, mesmerized, obsessively offended, obsessively disgusted,” Guaulati says. “Step back from it all. Engage in family life. Create a healthy bubble.”

This means protecting your home environment by minimizing media exposure, putting away cell phones, having regular meals together (where conversation centers around other topics) and taking time for other family activities you enjoy. Routines help counteract uncertainty and fear. “These little things can go a long way in restoring a sense of stability,” Pickens says. “As parents, you have the ability to create this safe space in the home.”

Pickens also recommends taking more time to connect with your community – whether that means your religious community or local activities and organizations you support. This helps give kids a sense of being connected to something safe, something good, something beyond the reach of what they see in the political realm.

“We have to highlight that sense of community,” Pickens says, “and help people understand that they’re not alone.”

Christina Elston is Editor of L.A. Parent.

The Cost of Parent Shaming

Published

By Mercedes Samudio, LCSW

parent shaming“A parent who lets their child act like that without reprimanding them is definitely raising an asshole,” a colleague said to me once. She started this conversation during a lunch meeting at a restaurant as we watched a mother wrestling with her toddler-age son who was having a tantrum. She made the comment because she knows I am a parent coach who works to end the practice of shaming parents.

“What do you have to say about that? You can’t ignore when a parent isn’t doing their job!” she said with a nod and a smug smile. She knew that I would point out that what we were witnessing was only a snapshot of a parent who was caring for her child in public, and this type of conversation is not uncommon for me. We live in a world that condemns parents for being too strict with their children while simultaneously shaming them for not keeping them under control, and conversations like the one with my colleague fuel my passion for ending parent shaming.

My desire to work toward ending parent shaming started with a question I pose to you: Can we afford to continue shaming parents? I’ll ask you to ponder this as I walk you through why shaming parents is really about criticizing the imperfect process of becoming a human.

After years of working as a family therapist in community mental health and with underserved populations, I realized that the parents I was tasked with serving weren’t bad or horrible parents. These parents were just messy humans trying to raise smaller humans to be less messy than they were – and trying to do it in a world that doesn’t give them much direction on how to accomplish this task.

In our culture, we find parents struggling with the seemingly impossible job of raising a healthy kid who doesn’t fall prey to the dangers of the world. How does a parent take all the weight of their own humanness – managing it with just the right amount of grace, patience, and self-compassion – and raise another human to be less of a mess than they are? Is this even possible? How much space does a parent need to be able to raise a healthy human? And how do we support parents in accomplishing this feat?

There is no easy answer to this dilemma, but there is a wrong one. In our shaming culture, we seem to have decided that we can change a parent’s behavior by wrapping our harsh criticism of them in thinly veiled “good intentions” toward their children. We also throw large amounts of the latest research at parents while simultaneously telling them that the way earlier generations handled child-raising worked best. This is the type of hypocrisy that makes parents doubt all their decisions and suffer a level of emotional turmoil that can lead to them feeling overwhelmed, abused and fatigued – and ultimately disconnecting from their child.

Opening a space for parents to develop a heathier identity starts with removing the parenting journey from polarizing black-or-white thinking. There must be a messy, authentic middle that allows humans who become parents the chance to make mistakes, learn to fail and give their children the space to do the same. In our parent-shaming haste, we leave everyday parents stranded between desperation to absorb the latest parenting trends and the fatigue of just trying to keep their families afloat. And unless they’re doing something exceptionally attention-worthy (or easy to shame), like trying to manage a toddler meltdown in a busy restaurant, they are mostly forgotten.

Scientific research can sometimes be misused as grounds for parent shaming. In his 2014 book “The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body In the Healing of Trauma,” National Complex Trauma Treatment Network director Bessel van der Kolk, M.D., explains how fear, trauma and oppression exist biologically, changing a person’s brain chemistry. This idea is also supported by the landmark Adverse Childhood Experiences study conducted by Kaiser Permanente and the U.S. Centers for Disease Control in the 1980s. That study found that when we experience negative life events in our childhood we grow up to have several barriers to a healthy life, including depression, obesity, chronic health conditions and high-risk health behaviors such as smoking and substance abuse.

I can hear you saying, “Aha, you’ve walked right into why we need to shame parents. We have to stop them from giving their kids adverse childhood experiences!” But we cannot forget that the person we’re shaming, the parent, is living with the fallout from his or her own negative childhood experiences. And our shaming just adds to the tally. Rather than providing evidence that parent shaming is necessary, research has finally confirmed that shaming parents impedes the development of a healthy parenting identity, an identity parents need to raise a healthy child.

So here we are at the question again: Can our society afford to continue shaming parents?

Realistically, sure. But wouldn’t it be better and more sustainable to start being honest about how difficult it is to be human – messy and imperfect as we all are – while trying to raise another human? If we recognize and accept our human journey as being fluid and messy, and give our fellow humans – especially parents – the space to experience that journey, maybe we won’t feel the need to shame. And if we can stop shaming parents, they’ll haveparent shaming the space to heal and raise imperfect children who aren’t ashamed of that imperfection – and are healthier for it.

They, in turn, will be equipped to raise healthier children of their own. It would be a shame not to give them that chance.

Mercedes Samudio, LCSW, is a Los Angeles-based parent coach who has been featured in The Huffington Post, US News & World Report, Woman’s Day, Daily Parent, Parenting OC magazine and Kids In The House. You can follow her campaign to stop parent shaming via the hashtag #EndParentShaming, and visit her online at www.theparentingskill.com.

Bonjour: Visiting Quebec with Kids in Tow

Published

By Ann Britton Campbell

quebec with kids

The most famous hotel in Old Quebec is the imposing Fairmont Le Château Frontenac, “the castle,” which sits high atop cliffs overlooking the St. Lawrence River. PHOTO BY LUC-ANTOINE COUTURIER

It is Paris without the jarring jet lag, a European experience wrapped in the warmth of Canadian hospitality. And in little more than five hours, you and your family can be there.

A vacation in Montreal and Quebec City, in the Canadian province of Quebec, is the stuff family-travel dreams are made of. There’s just enough of the exotic – French as the common language, centuries-old stone buildings lining narrow cobblestone streets, sidewalk cafés serving poutine, tourtière and other curious dishes – to immerse visitors in an intoxicatingly different culture.

Yet this is Canada, which means English and kindness and familiar food are found here, too.

It also means that 2017 is a great year to visit. Canada is celebrating its 150th birthday and Montreal the 375th anniversary of its founding, and both historical events are being marked with festivals, special exhibitions and a whole lot of dancing in the streets (even more than usual, which is saying something). Entrance to Canada’s national parks and sites is also free all year.

Over the years my two sons, husband and I have explored the lively streets of Montreal and Quebec City together and uncovered a wealth of family-friendly activities. Here are some of our favorites.

Bonjour, Montreal 

The first thing my sons noticed the first time we stepped off a plane in Montreal was the signs.  “Mom,” said the 12-year-old, with wonder in his voice, “they’re all in French!”

When a gate agent then greeted us with a smile and heavily accented bonjour the deal was sealed.  We were obviously, wonderfully in a new place.

quebec with kids

The Archeo-Adventure at Pointe-à-Callière lets families experience a simulated archeological dig while learning the history of Montreal. PHOTO BY MARC-ANTOINE ZOUÉKI/POINTE-À-CALLIÈRE

Our first family trip to Quebec followed a simple itinerary: three days in Montreal, a morning train ride (a very European thing to do!) east to Quebec City, three days in and around that city, then a connecting flight home from Quebec City. On subsequent visits, we explored further afield – to majestic national parks, gastronomically rich rural regions and beyond. But whenever we return, we always include a stop in one of these vibrant cities.

One of the joys of many European cities is the ease with which visitors can walk to restaurants, shops and attractions. Montreal and Quebec City are wonderfully walkable, and Montreal augments that ease with an efficient subway system.

To make the most of pedestrian-friendly Montreal, follow my family’s lead and choose accommodations in or near Old Montreal (we’ve twice stayed at the InterContinental Montreal).

After dropping off your luggage, hit the streets for a do-it-yourself walking tour of Old Montreal. Enjoy the French signs and shops in the old stone buildings. Stroll through the Old Port that stretches along the St. Lawrence River. Visit the touristy public square Place Jacques-Cartier and the more imposing Place d’Armes, home of the Notre-Dame Basilica.

Step inside the basilica, a true North American masterpiece of Gothic Revival architecture. Rather than visit during the day, our family opted to attend an evening theatrical performance that transformed the inside of the basilica into a stunning, dramatic space. My sons, not easily impressed with old churches, deemed the performance “really cool.”

Drama also animates the streets each evening when Cité Mémoire, said to be the largest outdoor video-projection in the world, beams historical vignettes onto buildings throughout Old Montreal. Download the free app on your mobile phone to access suggested walking routes and audio files of the stories that accompany the tableaus. Favorite projections include the Beaver Rebellion in Place Jacques-Cartier (featuring beaver puppets, how very Canadian) and a dazzling collection of faces that appear on the trees along Jacques-Cartier Quay.

While the projections are eye-catching, there’s nothing like a ghost to grab your children’s attention. On our evening ghost tour with Fantômes Montréal Ghosts, a 317-year-old spirit (played to perfection by actress Esther Maloney) connected beautifully with our group, asking younger participants (12 years being the recommended minimum age) to carry her lantern and help demonstrate how the stocks that once graced Place Jacques-Cartier were used to punish criminals.

Thanks to a tip from our friendly ghost, we visited Pointe-à-Callière, the Montreal Museum of Archaeology and History located on the exact spot where Montreal was founded in 1642. Begin your visit in the museum’s theater, where a

quebec with kids

At the Biodôme de Montréal, a former Olympic venue, kids can explore five different ecosystems. PHOTO BY MATHIEU DUPUIS/TOURISME MONTRÉAL

multimedia presentation on Montreal’s history is projected on actual archaeological remains. Then it’s down to the basement, where a vaulted stone conduit leads under the streets. There, amongst a rabbit’s warren of stonework, are the remains of the first Catholic cemetery and other artifacts displayed and interpreted to great effect.

For more recent history (and to see some adorable puffins, penguins and porcupines) take a short subway ride to Olympic Park, site of the 1976 Olympic Summer Games. The big score here is Biodôme Montreal, where five ecosystems of the Americas are recreated in the former Velodrome cycling stadium. Highlights include the frenetic penguin display in the sub-Antarctic area, floor-to-ceiling windows in the Gulf of St. Lawrence marine environment, a tropical rainforest cave where bats fly, and the children’s slide that parallels the slide otters use inside the Laurentian maple forest habitat.

Although older children will enjoy Biodôme, there’s a Montreal attraction that seems tailor-made for them: jet boating in the Lachine Rapids. This popular activity includes a hyperspeed tour of the Old Port on route to the rapids and, once in the whitewater, 30 heart-pumping minutes of twisting, turning and getting absolutely, positively soaked.

All this activity is sure to make your family hungry. While serious foodies will want to research the latest-greatest spots in this food-crazy town, families will enjoy noshing at three Montreal institutions. St-Viateur Bagel Shop (or Fairmount Bagel shop, locals fight over which bagel is best) is a great fueling stop on your way to popular Mount Royal Park. Schwartz’s Montreal Hebrew Delicatessen on Saint-Laurent Boulevard is the place for traditional smoked meat sandwiches. And finally, consider dining where harried local families have dined on roasted chicken and poutine since 1951, at a St-Hubert restaurant (multiple locations).

When you do opt for a fancier restaurant – and really, you should – watch for an Apportez votre vin sign in the window, indicating you should bring your own wine.  How very continental.

Mais Oui, Quebec City

How fitting that Quebec City, the cradle of French civilization in North America and the only walled city north of Mexico, would name its century-old train station Gare du Palais, the Palace Station. Because visiting this 409-year-old city is a royal treat.

For a full dose of old-world charm, stay within the fortified ramparts that surround the historic district of Old Quebec. The most famous hotel here is the imposing Fairmont Le Château Frontenac, “the castle” that sits high atop cliffs overlooking the St. Lawrence River. For a more intimate experience, reserve a room at the recently renovated Hotel Manoir Victoria, our family’s go-to hotel.

Once you’re settled in, get out and start walking. Head through the cobblestone streets and beside the plastered stone buildings of Upper Town (where the above-mentioned hotels are located), along the trail that runs atop the fortified ramparts surrounding the town, on the cliffside terrace that sits beneath the Château Frontenac, and to the Citadelle of Quebec where the daily Changing of the Guard ceremony is reminiscent of the pageantry at Buckingham Palace.

quebec with kids

Mount Royal Park is a popular outdoor spot where kids visiting Montreal can run off some energy. PHOTO BY LES AMIS DE LA MONTAGNE / S. MONTIGNÉ

From Upper Town, walk or ride the funicular down to the higgledy-piggledy streets of Lower Town. Here you’ll find Place Royale, the site of the first permanent French settlement in North America, and the Petit Champlain quarter with its boutiques and art galleries. Nearby, the highly interactive Musées de la Civilisation has permanent galleries focused on historic and contemporary Quebec as well as temporary exhibits including this summer’s “Like Cats and Dogs,” which explores our understanding of animal behavior through fun games and simulations. On weekends, the whimsical “Once Upon a Time” costume workshop engages ages 3 to 10 in some major make-believing.

If a break from city life is desirable, day trip east to Montmorency Falls or Canyon Ste.-Anne. Both parks feature impressive waterfalls, ziplines and hiking, but only Canyon Ste.-Anne offers a two-minute “Air Canyon” ride that sends adrenaline junkies screaming across the deep gorge on a cable suspended 295 feet in the air.

Calmer pursuits await at the nearby Basilica of Sainte-Anne-de-Beaupré, said to be North America’s oldest pilgrimage site. The centerpiece is a neo-Roman style basilica filled with religious art including a replica of Michelangelo’s Pieta. It’s a fascinating stop, no matter what your belief system.

Back in Quebec City, great food stops abound, from cafeteria-styled Paillard Café-Boulangerie with its to-die-for croissants and café au lait to hip Chez Boulay-Bistro Boréal featuring Nordic-inspired cuisine (think seared salmon, bison tartar and barley risotto).

If you’ve not yet tried Quebec’s official comfort food, stop by busy Snack-Bar Saint-Jean for poutine. Because eating a plate of crispy fries topped with squeaky cheese curds and gravy really can be a cultural experience.

Summer Festivals 

quebec with kids

Jet boating on route to the Lacine Rapids includes a hyper-speed tour of the Old Port. PHOTO COURTESY A.P.E.S.

When Martha and the Vandellas sang, “Summer’s here and the time is right for dancin’ in the streets,” Quebec City and Montreal were obviously listening. Both cities host a heap of festivals each summer, including these family hit-makers.

Festival International de Jazz de Montreal, June 28-July 8, is Montréal’s answer to Mardi Gras, with more than 500 indoor and outdoor concerts. Past years featured Prince, Dianna Krall, Ladysmith Black Mambazo and the like. www.montrealjazzfest.com

L’International des Feux Loto-Quebec, held July 1-Aug. 5 in Montreal, features wow-worthy fireworks shows best viewed from grandstands at La Ronde, a Six Flags park across the river from the Old Port. www.laronde.com/larondeen/linternational-des-feux/overview

Festival d’été de Québec, July 6-16 in Quebec City, is one of North America’s biggest, least expensive and most awesome music festivals, with 300-plus shows on 10 stages. www.infofestival.com

Montreal Cirque Festival, July 6 to 16, is all circus, all the time with free outdoor programming and activities as well as ticketed shows. montrealcompletementcirque.com/en

Just for Laughs Festival, July 14-30 in Montreal, lets visitors yuk it up at more than 100 different comedy shows, 400 free performances and outdoor festivities.  www.hahaha.com/en/montreal-festival

Rendez-Vous 2017, Tall Ships Regatta, July 18-23 in Quebec City, brings 40 tall ships sailing into the port and offers dockside activities including ship tours. www.rdv2017.com

Les Grands Feux Loto-Quebec, Aug. 2-23 in Quebec City, includes fireworks exploding from a platform in the middle of the river in front of the Chateau Frontenac. www.lesgrandsfeux.com

Les Fêtes de la Nouvelle-France, Aug. 9-13 in Quebec City, takes visitors back to the 17th and 18th centuries with shows, re-enactments, culinary events and a chance to play dress-up in historical garb. nouvellefrance.qc.ca/home

Getaway Details

quebec with kids

Penguins are among the many natural attractions at the Biodôme de Montréal, where five ecosystems of the Americas are recreated in the former Velodrome cycling stadium used for the 1976 Summer Olympic Games.
PHOTO BY SEAN O’NEILL/BIODÔME DE MONTRÉAL

Stay 

Do

Ride 

Eat 

Learn more

Ann Britton Campbell is an award-winning travel writer and mother of two. Find her on Instagram and Twitter: @DearAnnTravels

Beyond Saying Sorry: A More Meaningful Path to Conflict Resolution

Published

By Daniella Guzman

saying sorry“Say ‘I’m sorry’ and mean it!” How many times have we told our kids to apologize for saying or doing something hurtful to someone else?

Honestly, forcing my 5-year-old, Sofia, to apologize in the heat of the moment makes me feel better as a parent. But when she doesn’t mean it, I feel guilty because I believe it’s a poor lesson to make her say empty words without meaning.

After a couple of embarrassing “I’m not sorry” episodes with Sofia on the playground, and hearing other moms struggling with the same situation, I thought to myself that there must be a better way to get kids to apologize and mean it.

Some child psychologists suggest asking your kids questions such as, “What were you feeling when you did this?” or, “How do you think it made your sister feel when you did this?” I tried that a couple of times and it didn’t seem to work well for my Sofia. She just felt the questions were blaming her. I started experimenting with other ideas and found that a logical explanation went a long way.

When a heated situation arises and I have two kids crying, pointing fingers and tattling right in front of me, I start by asking them to take a deep breath and stop crying. I have them face each other and I put my arms around them. I ask each child what happened. I then say something like this, “I can see both of you are hurt and upset. Do we want to make things better?”

They usually respond with a “yes.” I say, “OK, Sofia, Stella didn’t like it when you were forcing her to play on the monkey bars when she wanted to swing. Let’s take turns and play with both. And, Stella, Sofia got her feelings hurt when you told her that she’s not your best friend anymore. Do you really mean that?” Usually, the answer is “no.” I then respond, “If you don’t mean those words, then you shouldn’t say them. We don’t want to hurt each other.”

When I explain things logically, the kids seem to understand much better and not make it a big deal. I hug it out with them, tickle them, tell them I love them and say, “OK, now go play and have fun!”

I try to minimize the conflict so they can see their problems are important but not worth fighting about. Of course, this all depends on what the conflict is and what the disagreement is about.

It’s important for children to understand that it’s OK to feel mad, sad or frustrated, and that it’s OK not to agree all the time, but that finding a solution and coming to terms with those feelings is important and a part of life.

A verbal apology would be great, but I think comprehending what is happening and what needs to be done to fairly resolve the problem is just as important. And since children learn best through parent modeling, I do a lot of apologizing at home. I try to model what a good apology looks like for our kids, and what it means to take responsibility for our actions. I recently apologized to my 5-year-old by saying, “I’m sorry I overreacted when you spilled your milk in the car. I know it was an accident and I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.” I’ve said this to Sofia many times. Everyone makes mistakes. That’s a part of life and when we apologize to our kids, we teach them everyone apologizes — even teens and adults.

Don’t forget that teaching your kids to forgive and accept an apology is just as important. For real healing after an apology is given, have your child say something like, “That’s OK” or, “I forgive you.”

Daniella Guzman is the anchor on NBC4 Southern California’s “Today in LA” weekday morning newscast, 4:30-7 a.m. A mother of two, Daniella’s column, “On the Record,” brings her views on parenting, fun family activities and her take on work-life balance. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram @daniellanbcla.

A Fresh and Classic Pasta Sauce

Published

By Christina Elston

classic pasta sauceMaurizio Mazzon started cooking in restaurants at age 15, but he was working in the kitchen long before that. Born in the Veneto region of Italy, he grew up in a home with a garden full of vegetables, where the pasta was always hand made.

“In Italy, you start from the day you’re born,” says Mazzon. “I was the guy selected to turn the handle of the pasta maker to make the pasta.” He is now executive chef of Il Fornaio restaurants, with local locations in Beverly Hills, Manhattan Beach, Pasadena and Woodland Hills.

Mazzon says that teaching kids about ingredients – the difference between ripe and green tomatoes and the smell of fresh versus dried herbs – is a great way to introduce them to cooking. “That’s the whole basis of understanding food,” he says. “When you have fresh, there is no other choice.”

In this simple tomato sauce recipe, Mazzon says fresh tomatoes are ideal as long as they are truly ripe – almost overripe. They will make the sauce sweet, while under-ripe tomatoes will make it taste acidic. If good, fresh tomatoes aren’t available, he recommends canned San Marzano tomatoes. “They come directly from Italy. That’s the best,” he says.

But Marzano allows no substitutions for the fresh herbs. “Don’t even do the tomato sauce if you don’t have fresh basil,” he advises.

If you don’t have a food mill at home, you can leave the sauce chunky or pulse briefly in a blender. Don’t use a food processor, which will break up the tomato seeds and turn the sauce acidic.

classic pasta sauce

Executive Chef Maurizio Mazzon of Il Fornaio restaurants says that fresh ingredients are the key to understanding food. PHOTO COURTESY IL FORNAIO

This sauce can be used with any sort of pasta you like.

– Christina Elston

Tomato Sauce (Salsi di Pomodoro) from Il Fornaio

2 pounds ripe tomatoes or one 28-ounce can whole peeled tomatoes with their juice

3 tablespoons olive oil

⅓ medium onion, diced

2 garlic cloves, smashed

½ dried peperoncino (chili pepper), broken into small pieces

6 fresh medium basil leaves, torn into small pieces

1 tablespoon chopped fresh oregano (optional)

¼ teaspoon sea salt

¼ teaspoon freshly ground pepper

If you are using fresh tomatoes: Bring 4 quarts of water to a boil in a large stockpot. Cut a small X in the bottom of each tomato. Drop the tomatoes into the boiling water and remove after 15-20 seconds. Let cool slightly, peel and cut out the core. Cut each tomato in half and, using your thumb, scoop out the seeds. Cut into quarters. Set aside.

If you are using canned tomatoes: Pour the tomatoes with their juice into a large bowl and break the tomatoes into smaller pieces with your hands. Set aside.

Heat the olive oil in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the onion, garlic and peperoncino. Cook until the onion is tender, 3-5 minutes. Add the tomatoes, basil, oregano (if using), salt and pepper. Bring to a boil, reduce the heat to a simmer and cook, uncovered, 30 minutes. Remove from the heat and transfer to a food mill. Purée over a bowl. Use immediately or store, refrigerated, in an airtight container.

Makes approximately 2 cups.

Honda’s Helpful Campaign Brings Snow to South LA

Published

Submitted by Southern California Honda Dealer Association

community newsSoCal Honda received a special request on their Help Me Honda page from a counselor at Wallis Annenberg High School in South Los Angeles, where 95 percent of the kids are economically disadvantaged. Her request? To help them see snow for the first time:  

“My name is Gloria Zelaya, I am a counselor at Wallis Annenberg High School a small high school in South Central Los Angeles. Every year we host a series of Festivals that are student generated and limited in funds. This year we are hosting a winter festival on campus and would love to give them a new experience — we would love to have them play in the snow. As you can imagine most of our students have never seen snow and will likely not have that opportunity readily available to them as it is a financial expense most of our families cannot afford.” 

The Helpful Guys in Blue made her dream a reality Feb. 24 by surprising all the kids with 40 tons of snow, Slides and Sleds, and a play area from 3-6 p.m. This was a Random Act of Helpfulness not to be missed! February also marks the 10th Anniversary of SoCal Honda’s Helpful campaign, exclusive to SoCal residents and organizations.

Helpful Honda and their popular Guys in Blue are out in the SoCal community every week sharing Random Acts of Helpfulness. For example: 

  • The Helpful Bowl – on Sunday, every Super Bowl commercial featuring an advertising cliché received a dollar donation, generating nearly $300,000 for the Boys and Girls Clubs in SoCal. Kids played along live, along with residents on HelpfulBowl.com.
  • For Super Bowl 2016, SoCal Honda’s commercial spot surprised residents with a complimentary UBER ride and got 9,000 people home safely on one of the most dangerous days of the year.
  • A surprise Snow Day for a South LA school – where 95% of the children are economically disadvantaged – and most have never seen snow.  The request was submitted on SoCal Honda’s dedicated Help Me page, where submissions are routinely fulfilled.  
  • Free gas when gas prices spike or during busy holiday travel.
  • Thousands of complimentary red roses given away throughout SoCal and picking up the bill for unsuspecting couples enjoying their dinner Valentine’s Day.
  • Other Helpful examples can be found at http://www.socalhondadealers.com/news and Facebook highlights are posted each week.

Moms-to-be Can Do Good and Save on Maternity Jeans

Published

Submitted by Goodwill Southern California

maternity jeans

Moms-to-be can get their new jeans on with the help of Goodwill Southern California and A Pea in the Pod.

Goodwill Southern California, a nonprofit social enterprise, and A Pea in the Pod, a contemporary maternity retailer, are teaming up to offer a special “donate and get a discount” deal to expectant mothers in the Los Angeles area.

Donors are asked to bring in a pair of jeans and other clothing they no longer need to participating A Pea in the Pod stores, and they will get a 25-percent discount coupon that can be used that same day toward a new pair of maternity jeans.

A Pea in the Pod features a curated selection of styles and exclusive designer labels for a mom-to-be. The global boutique carries a fashion-forward assortment that never compromises style or quality.

Each pair of donated jeans will be given to Goodwill Southern California and sold in one of its 81 stores. The revenue from the sale of donated items helps fund Goodwill’s local job placement, career counseling, skill-building services and other community-based programs, such as access to child care or transportation, creating a better future for people who desire self-sufficiency.

Goodwill Southern California (GSC) serves individuals with disabilities or other vocational challenges by providing education, training, work experience and job-placement services.  Each year, GSC prepares and places thousands of individuals into sustainable employment through programs and services offered at three campuses, Career Resource Centers, WorkSource Centers, Deaf, Youth and Veteran Employment Programs throughout Los Angeles (north of Rosecrans Ave.), Riverside and San Bernardino counties.  GSC supports its mission with proceeds generated from 81 stores and 46 attended donation centers.  GSC spends 95 percent of its budget on programs and services.  Committed to caring for the Earth, in 2015 GSC diverted 100 million pounds of reusable or recyclable goods from landfills.

“Goodwill is thrilled to be teaming up with A Pea in the Pod to offer this great opportunity for expectant moms,” said Patrick McClenahan, President and CEO of Goodwill Southern California. “This partnership gives moms-to-be a way to tidy up their wardrobes, donate to help people in their community find jobs and, at the same time, purchase fashionable clothes for the months ahead.”

The promotion runs through March 9 at participating A Pea in the Pod locations across the country. The offer is valid for one pair of jeans per visit.

LBPD Officers Turn Disneyland Ripoff Into Birthday Gift

Published

By Carolyn Richardson

disneyland tickets

Officer Silva, left with Tiffany’s family and Officer Mills, right. PHOTO COURTESY LBPD.

For many kids turning 5, Disneyland tickets are the perfect birthday gift. Joyce, a teaching aide at a Long Beach elementary school, had Eddie, a kindergartner, in mind when she was moved to a thoughtful act of kindness. After befriending the child on the playground, she learned his mother, Tiffany, was a single mom to four young children. Joyce took to an online app to buy tickets to the Happiest Place on Earth for the family of five. After the transaction, she went to Disneyland to be sure the tickets were valid. To her dismay, the tickets were counterfeit. She was heartbroken, and without a gift for young Eddie.

Joyce went to the Long Beach Police Department to file a fraud report in hopes of identifying the suspect and recovering the $600 cost of the tickets, the amount of her entire paycheck. Officer Mills and Officer Silva responded, interviewed Joyce, and took a police report. Touched by her intended act of kindness, Officer Mills felt compelled to do something to turn this unfortunate situation around. After making a few phone calls, Mills was able to secure replacement tickets through undisclosed donors.

Although the investigation is ongoing, Officer Mills is pleased that Eddie will still get the birthday present that Joyce wanted him to have and enjoy with his family. Eddie’s birthday was Feb. 11. Officer Mills is a Recruit Training Officer. Through this experience, Officer Mills was able to demonstrate to his recruit/partner that some things cannot be taught in the academy.

Women With Congenital Heart Defects Can Become Moms

Published

By Christina Elston

congenital heart defects

Erica Thomas, 37, poses with her children at their home in Fountain Valley, CA. Though she was initially told she could not have children due a complex heart defect at birth, Thomas was able to have two successful pregnancies. Her case helped inspire new recommendations aimed at allowing other women with congenital heart defects to have babies. PHOTO COURTESY UCLA RONALD REAGAN MEDICAL CENTER

For generations, doctors told women who were born with complex congenital heart defects that the physical demands of pregnancy and delivery would be too difficult for them, and that they should not have babies.

That mindset has shifted. New recommendations for health care providers, published in the American Heart Association journal “Circulation,” offer a road map to helping women with congenital heart disease have successful pregnancies.

“There is a burgeoning group of women born with complex congenital heart disease who are now of childbearing age and want to get pregnant,” said Mary Canobbio, a nurse at Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center and lecturer at the UCLA School of Nursing who chaired the group that wrote the scientific statement. “The problem is, pregnancy in this population is very risky.”

Recently, Canobbio has seen a growing number of women with congenital heart disease who wanted to have children.

“We really didn’t have any data to refer to in order to help them make safe, informed decisions,” she said. “So I went on a mission to see if we could come up with some definitive answers for these women about the likelihood of becoming pregnant and steps we might need to take to help them deliver their babies safely.”

Canobbio collected data from hundreds of colleagues around the country, charting successful pregnancies and analyzing the approaches that were taken to care for these high-risk patients.

The information she gleaned also came from — and aided — her own patients. Erica Thomas, 37, of Fountain Valley, was born with a complex heart defect.

“I was always told that having children wasn’t an option,” Thomas said. “But I was determined.”

Working with doctors and nurses at UCLA, Thomas has given birth to two healthy babies in the past five years. “We found that if women’s heart health is stable at the onset, we can get them through pregnancy,” Canobbio said. “But that doesn’t mean that they’re not at risk for complications. We need to have a lot of people in place in order to ensure that we manage their care at an optimum level, at every stage.” The journal article lists recommendations for women with congenital heart disease — before and during pregnancy, during delivery and afterward.

Before pregnancy. Before conceiving, women should undergo extensive counseling with a cardiologist and an OB-GYN specializing in high-risk pregnancies. When appropriate, doctors may also refer them to genetic counseling. The paper also recommends that women undergo electrocardiograms, echocardiograms and exercise stress tests to assess their physical condition prior to conception. “The burden of pregnancy is huge,” Canobbio said. “We want each woman to understand the risks before she ever considers pregnancy, and understand the effect it might have on her heart in the long run.”

Mary Canobbio, RN, MN, FAAN, left, counsels a pregnant patient at UCLA Ronald Reagan Medical Center. Canobbio chaired the statement writing group that developed the first set of recommendations that outline the steps healthcare providers should take to help women with complex congenital heart defects have successful pregnancies. PHOTO COURTESY UCLA RONALD REAGAN MEDICAL CENTER

During pregnancy. According to the recommendations, once a woman with congenital heart disease becomes pregnant, she should be monitored closely by an OB-GYN, a cardiologist and a specialist in maternal–fetal medicine. “We need to keep close tabs on the mother after conception, because her heart isn’t in optimal condition, and it needs to work extra hard ,” said Dr. Brian Koos, a high-risk OB-GYN at Ronald Reagan Medical Center and a co-author of the recommendations. “During pregnancy, there is increased blood flow, or ‘cardiac output,’ to the mother’s organs and to the uterus and the placenta,” Koos said. “We need to make sure the heart is strong enough to sustain both mother and baby.”

Delivery. Because teams of specialists need to be in place during delivery, the statement recommends writing birthing plans and key dates and distributing them to team members between weeks 28 and 32 of the pregnancy. The report also recommends that women go to large medical centers with the staff and resources to manage any complications that may arise. “Vaginal births are preferred, but C-sections may be necessary for obstetric or cardiovascular complications,” Canobbio said. “The main thing is we are all there and waiting for delivery, and if that hasn’t happened by the 39th week, we will induce labor.”

The paper recommends having a heart surgeon, in addition to an OB-GYN, available during the delivery. This is a critical time, because not only is childbirth a huge strain on the mother’s heart, but doctors see for the first time how the baby is able to function outside of the womb.

“Just because the baby is born healthy doesn’t mean the mother is out of the woods just yet,” Canobbio said.

Postpartum. Because of the strain of childbirth, the authors suggest that women be closely monitored by their cardiologist for at least six weeks — and in some cases, for up to six months — afterward. During birth, a normal, healthy heart will see a 70 to 80 percent surge in the volume of blood pumped out of the left ventricle and the overall amount of blood sent through the cardiovascular system. “That’s a lot of stress,” Koos said. “And because the hearts of these women are compromised to begin with, it can lead to damage and long-term issues after birth.” Canobbio said the process requires proper planning and sufficient resources.

“But the good news is, for many of these women, pregnancy is possible,” she said. “Instead of having to tell them they can never become pregnant, with these recommendations in place, we can now give them data-based information and, possibly, new hope for having babies.”

Taking the Stage to Move the World

Published

By Rina Baraz Nehdar

move the world

Young dancers from Move the World with Executive Director Cecilie Stuart, center in black shirt, create original dance works that spotlight causes they believe in. PHOTO BY JULIANNE LAMPARD

They learn to dance and they dance to create change. The L.A.-based participants in the nonprofit Move the World, most ages 9 to 21, create and perform original dance works that spotlight causes from the health of our oceans to homelessness among our youth.

“I wanted to teach the kids not only to love performing, but for there to be a purpose behind it,” says Move the World Executive Director Cecilie Stuart, who has been a choreographer, director and producer in L.A. for 20 years. She was first inspired to start the program in 2011 when her daughter, Bella Garcia, asked Stuart to teach her to dance. She then attended a symposium hosted by the Pachamama Alliance, a nonprofit dedicated to preserving the lands and native cultures of the Amazon rainforest. That experience helped shape the Move the World mission.

The program, founded in 2012, is a yearlong commitment that attracts students from Santa Monica to Agoura Hills. It features weekly beginning through intermediate classes in ballet, contemporary and hip-hop dance. In addition to taking at least one dance class per week, students and their families meet monthly for workshops where the kids watch documentaries and practice public speaking.

Each year, participants vote on the issues they’d like to focus on in the coming year. Last year’s causes were ocean preservation, LGBT rights and youth homelessness. The group decided to continue with those causes this year. Students collaborate and brainstorm ways to focus their message, and perform their compositions at local venues such as The Broad Stage and free family events such as last September’s Tarfest at the La Brea Tar Pits.

“They’re really amazing singers, dancers, actors, these kids,” Stuart says. “They dance for a cause. They dance for a reason.”

Proceeds from dance performances also support Move the World causes. Alixson Soukup, 11, and his sister Nancy, 12, were born in Haiti and were adopted after the devastating earthquake there in 2010. They have danced with Move the World for three years and were able to raise money to help fund clean drinking water in their former home country, traveling there to see the impact of their efforts.

The next Move the World performance will be the MTW Family Ball from 6-10 p.m. Feb. 18 at Topanga Community House, 1440 N. Topanga Canyon Blvd., Topanga. The formal event includes food and drink and luxury raffles, and tickets are $15. Learn more at www.movetheworldnow.com.

Four L.A. Programs That Teach Kids Financial Savvy

Published

By Evan Henerson

kids financial

The California Council on Economic Education recently launched the Never Too Young program to help students learn financial lessons from an early age. PHOTO COURTESY CCEE

Any financial planner will tell you that it’s never too early to start stashing away money for retirement or for that rainy day. Just as importantly, it’s never too early to learn about the proper ways to stash money away.

There’s some evidence that most parents aren’t qualified to help children gain this knowledge. Total debt in the U.S. for car loans, student loans and credit cards is $4 trillion, according to Sam Neylan, who teaches financial literacy courses in the Santa Clarita Valley. That’s trillion with a “t.”

“What’s the plan for our country if we don’t understand what money is for and what our spending habits create?” asks Neylan, president of Neylan Group International, a Valencia-based real estate firm. “Ninety percent of Americans, if faced with an emergency of any kind, could not pay for it because they don’t have it. That’s really terrifying when you think about it. Life is always going to happen.”

Increasingly, schools are stepping up to help students become financially literate and avoid this type of situation. Financial courses have long been available for college students, but now high school and middle school students can also learn the dos and don’ts of budgeting, credit and compound interest. Interest is growing in programs such as Foundations of Personal Finance – which Neylan and partner Brendie Heter fund in Santa Clarita Valley high schools – Loyola Marymount University’s Financial Boot Camps and Junior Achievement’s Finance Park, all of which take place on high school campuses.

“In high-schoolers, I see a hunger for this information and a fear of not having it,” says Allysunn Walker-Williams, president and CEO of the California Council on Economic Education (CCEE). “If they’re not getting it from their parents, where are they getting it? From life experiences, which open them up to all kinds of mistakes.”

“Everybody has a role in the economy. Everybody participates,” adds Walker-Williams, whose organization trains instructors to teach these principles to students and to their parents. “Young kids just grab onto this like you would not believe. They are so excited to learn about their place in the economy.”

There are several local financial literacy programs that share the goal of setting young men and women on the road to a solid financial future.

kids financial

Sam Neylan, middle row, left, and teacher Chris Page, top row, right, pose with Page’s class at Legacy Christian Academy in Santa Clarita. PHOTO COURTESY BRENDIE HETER

Foundations of Personal Finance

Over the course of several years of teaching Financial Peace University – the adult curriculum created by author and radio personality Dave Ramsey – Neylan and Heter of Heter Family Woodworking repeatedly heard that the FPU information should be taught to school-age students as well.

So the two women approached schools in their communities in the Santa Clarita Valley and offered to sponsor the student version of Ramsey’s curriculum, Foundations of Personal Finance, in local high schools. That was two years ago, and nearly 450 students have now completed the program, which is typically taught through the school math department. Topics covered include college loans, careers, global economies and preparing personal budgets.

During debriefings at the end of each session, instructors hear from grateful students. One seventh grader told Neylan she was determined to attend MIT and did not want to accumulate any student debt. She opened a savings account and, one year later, had accumulated $6,000 that she would otherwise have spent on “food, clothes and definitely lip gloss.”

“Imagine the trajectory of that story and what it’s going to look like for the rest of her life – whoever she marries, if she has kids, if she’s a professional,” says Neylan. “To start her career without $100,000 in debt is absolutely amazing.”

Heter heard from a freshman student that Foundations of Personal Finance helped her understand that the stress her parents experienced about money didn’t have to be part of her future as well. “She said, ‘I thought that’s what it was to be an adult, getting the lights turned off sometimes,’” Heter recalls. “‘Now I know that I don’t have to be dependent the government. I am not going to have the power turned off. I can do this.’”

Learn more about Foundations of Personal Finance by emailing Heter at heterwoodworking@gmail.com.

kids financial

Loyola Marymount University makes its Financial Boot Camp curriculum available to high school students as a way to prepare them for a sound financial future. PHOTO COURTESY LMU

LMU Financial Boot Camp

In the summer of 2015, when he decided to make the Financial Boot Camp modules from Loyola Marymount University (LMU) available to inner-city high schools, Ron Rishagen had a pretty good idea that the program would meet with success. Before he came to LMU as entrepreneur in residence, Rishagen had taught the same course at St. Bernard’s High School in Playa del Rey.

The summer boot camps run all day Monday through Thursday, and the sessions are taught by students in LMU’s Fred Kiesner Center for Entrepreneurship. Since instructors and students are close in age, trust is quickly established, Rishagen says.

“So many students that we come across don’t understand the difference between delayed gratification and short-term gratification,” said Rishagen. “We try to emphasize that you have to start at an early age so that you can become financially independent at 50 years old.”

The program’s nine modules include budgeting, savings, credit and debt, entrepreneurship, networking, banking, the stock market, buying a car and payroll taxes. Students consider case studies (such as a professional athlete who doesn’t know what to do with his money) and engage in hands-on activities.

Instructors also explain four different types of income: paychecks, dividends, interest and rental income. At the end of the program, each student gets a $50 savings bond as a graduation present.

“We try to emphasize long-term goals and the benefits that accrue over a period of time through the power of compound interest,” Rishagen says. “Wealth is not measured by how much you spend, but by how much you save.”

To learn more, contact Rishagen at 310-592-0414 or ronrishagen@gmail.com.

kids financial

Junior Achievement operates Finance Parks across the country. In these miniature cities, students put the financial lessons they have learned to the test. PHOTO COURTESY JUNIOR ACHIEVEMENT

Junior Achievement Finance Park

Junior Achievement’s Finance Park is a program as well as an actual site. The five-week, 12-session program is taught through local high schools, often via a mathematics department. JA has been in existence since 1919 and works to prepare young people to succeed in a global economy. Financial literacy is one of the nonprofit’s organizational pillars, and Finance Park was developed in the 1980s as a means of exposing students to concepts including financial planning, taxes, income and careers.

“We found the greatest need and the biggest impact is during the transitional years – eighth grade leaving middle school going on to high school and 12th grade,” says Kat Delgado Kirkwood, chief of education at JA of Southern California. “Are you going to college? Are you going to start working? There are critical life changes, and the information really resonates for them in those periods of time.”

The program – which sometimes includes a virtual component – took on a new urgency after the 2008 recession. Having seen the impacts of the recession on their families, students found the principles of Finance Park that much more essential to their lives, and JA became galvanized to prepare the younger generation in the event that a similar event happened again.

The final session is a trip to the actual Finance Park, a 10,000-square-foot mini city that includes a bank, utility companies and a car dealership. Students are given an adult identity, a salary, an iPad and assistance from a couple of adult advisors who help them figure out elements of their “adult” lives.

“They become adults for the day,” says Kirkwood. “It’s a culmination of what they learned in the classroom, putting that into practice. After they come out of the simulation, several things happen including an appreciation for what their parents do on a daily basis.”

kids financial

Through the California Council on Economic Education (CCEE), teachers receive training that helps them confidently teach financial literacy. PHOTO COURTESY CCEE

Learn more about Finance Park at www.jasocal.org or by calling 323-785-3510 or emailing Kirkwood at kkirkwood@jasocal.org.

California Council on Economic Education

Financial literacy may not be a requirement for graduating high school, but teachers can find creative ways to bring the information in – often through an economics unit or in mathematics. The programs supplied by the CCEE are geared to help them in this endeavor.

Until they get the proper training, Walker-Williams says teachers are often as intimidated as their students and are afraid of getting called out for lack of knowledge. “A lot of teachers have told us, ‘We don’t have to teach it. We don’t balance our own checkbooks. We don’t want to be embarrassed if a kid asks us a question we can’t answer,’” Walker-Williams says. “We are trying to get teachers to a point where they are confident enough and they can bring their personal experience into the classroom.”

CCEE offers multiple classes in finance and economics and runs regional centers for economic education on the campuses of Hamilton High School, USC and other locations. Much of the curriculum is geared toward high school students, but there are also programs such as the recently launched Never Too Young for elementary schools.

“California is the sixth largest economy in the world, and we don’t require our kids to learn about personal finance? Crazy!” says Walker-Williams. “We want them to make sound decisions, not just balance a checkbook or understand what financing is or why taxes pay for public goods. We also want them to understand you can be an owner. You can be an investor. And the earlier we can plant those seeds, the better off we are.”

Learn more at www.ccee.org or by emailing jmitton@ccee.org or calling 310-954-1341.

Evan Henerson is a local journalist and contributor to L.A. Parent.

The Millennial Dad’s Guide to Valentine’s Day

Published

By Isaac Parfrey

Valentine's for Dads

Millennial dad Isaac Parfrey loves spending time with sons Hank, right, and baby Leo. But he always plans a Valentine escape with wife Kate on Feb. 14. PHOTO COURTESY ISAAC PARFREY

There is a war going on out there, a cold war between loving couples with kids and loving couples without kids. And it heats up on Feb. 14. Officially named Saint Valentine’s Day, I call it S-V Day, after the iconic V-E Day and V-J Day from World War II.

Childless couples meander carefree throughout the city, staying out ’till unholy hours. Meanwhile, the child rearing must meticulously plan and execute a romantic recognizance and be back home by 22:00 hours. Not right. This is a saintly holiday, not some young-and-in-love frolic night. And by the time parents get their babysitters sorted out, there are no more reservations left at the choice trendy restaurants and they are left dodging the buffalo chicken landmines of Marie Callender’s or BJ’s Restaurant.

If I sound a little shell-shocked (and I am, I have been around the L.A. Feb. 14 block), it is because for the father, S-V Day carries a certain stress and a desire for amorous perfection. I point to a brief domestic translation: When your wife says, “I don’t like Valentine’s Day. We don’t need to do anything,” she is actually telling you, “This is now a test of how much you really love me right now.”

My wife, Kate, likes to say that S-V Day is trivial, but every year I strive for new romantic heights, be it a comprehensive slalom through the gray February hills or a frigid beachy excursion with the cold winter sand between our toes. And, fellow husbands and dads across Southern California, you have no excuse to strive for anything less, because Los Angeles, without hyperbole, is the single greatest American city for SV Day and the battles fought in its honor.

Sitters and Restaurant Plans

Let’s continue with logistics. Before I was a father, the hardest thing I ever had to do on S-V Day was hunt for parking. (Now I know enough to use valet.) But the most difficult part of your post-parenthood S-V Day strategy is likely to be finding the babysitter, because every high-schooler and their sister is “going-out” with their BF or GF to the nearest Jamba Juice or In-N-Out Burger. You have to nail someone down early, preferably a single family member who wants to make themselves useful and/or forgets that it’s the 14th. Or you capture a grandparent.

We managed to nab the GPs aboard easily last year. They are generally game to do battle with Hank and our new little one, Leo, born Nov. 30.

A tactical plan is also key when doing battle for a spot at the S-V Day restaurant table. Most of my loathsome generation goes out on S-V Day. My millennial friends without children make plans a couple weeks in advance. They find a romantic restaurant on Sunset, Downtown or on the beach and then wine and dine to their hearts’ content. But they also might stay home, splurge on a nice piece of fish or beef from Whole Foods and cook an intimate meal with their loved one.

This doesn’t work for the millennial parent. We need to get out. For 364 days a year, we are perfectly happy in our domestic lives. But Los Angeles is not a domestic city. It is full of life, nuance and character. Fortunately, a parent can make the most of S-V Day regardless of neighborhood or overall region of town.

On the Westside

If you are on the Westside, as I find myself at the moment, then the coast is the expected spot to venture. I have tackled the prix fixes of Moonshadows in Malibu and the Trattorias of Main Street.

Duck the temptation for the gimmicky S-V Day walk on the beach and venture instead to the Hotel Erwin. Slip past the scenesters and yoga-nistas of the Barlo Kitchen and find the elevator to the rooftop bar. There you will find stunning views from the heart of Venice looking north toward the flickering star-spangled Santa Monica Mountains. Sip some wine or cocktails (or both!), then walk your buzz off through the Venice canals. Peek into windowed modern homes whose tenants, for whatever reason, have yet to hear of curtains or blinds and let the wooden bridges and starlit walkways whisk you into an S-V Day reverie.

If you want to upscale it a hair, tread up the grand stairway of the Hotel Casa Del Mar bar in Santa Monica and watch the sunset over an aperitif. Now you have my permission to walk on the beach. Take the path north below the bluffs, then take the turn toward West Channel and engage in some California Cuisine at Sam’s by the Beach. After scallops and a bottle of wine, an Uber home would be a good idea. This is the money-is-no-object version of S-V Day, and if you can pilfer from your child’s college fund without guilt, then I highly suggest this romp through the S-V Day trenches.

Points East

Kate and I venture eastside often, and we just might take the leap into enemy childless millennial territory this year. Between texts from our babysitters (parents), who don’t seem to understand that we want to blithely forget about our obligations for five hours, we’ll get a table at Blair’s Restaurant in Silver Lake. We will glance at the other couples, who in turn are looking at other couples. Leaning back in our wooden chairs and sipping martinis, for a moment, in the right light and with a little (Matthew) McConaughey squint, we’ll imagine ourselves in Old Los Angeles while we gnaw on New American food unrecognizable to any actual Angeleno in 1950.

Just three blocks south (at 2246 Silver Lake Blvd.), the north end of the Silver Lake Reservoir walking path begins, giving Kate and me a chance – between peeks at our Instagram feeds – to talk about our future and reflect on our relationship.

For a city notorious for a lack of walkers, Los Angeles will surprise you on S-V Day. Our Saint Valentine’s Day nights always involve a romantic saunter through the town. The city quiets down, and for parents, what’s better than quiet?

Remember, fellow millennial parents, that Los Angeles lends itself to keeping it simple. Restaurants are plentiful, the climate will harmonize with you, and a nice romantic jaunt is so easy you will ask yourself why you don’t do this more often. As you look out over the city lights on S-V Day, you’ll find a wealth of romance. In every direction, parents and lovers are dining, drinking and having a lovely time. And that, perhaps, is how you became a parent in the first place.

SV Day Spots to Eat and Drink 

Blair’s Restaurant: 2901 Rowena Ave., L.A.; www.blairsrestaurant.com

Hotel Casa del Mar: 1910 Ocean Way, Santa Monica; www.hotelcasadelmar.com

Hotel Erwin & Barlo Kitchen: 1697 Pacific Ave., Venice; www.hotelerwin.com 

Moonshadows: 20356 Pacific Coast Hwy., Malibu; www.moonshadowsmalibu.com

Sam’s by the Beach: 108 W. Channel Rd., Santa Monica; www.samsbythebeach.com 

Isaac Parfrey is a millennial writer currently residing on the Westside with his wife and two sons.

Digital vs. Analog: At-Home Learning Activities for Kids

Published

By Lori Zanteson

home learning activities for kids

Parents can make technology more interactive by engaging with their kids and taking advantage of online learning resources. PHOTO COURTESY POWER MY LEARNING

Technology gives parents more ways than ever to provide a rich and engaging home learning environment for their kids. But how much is too much? Is it better to go “old-school” with plenty of books, journals to fill, and hands-on activities? Or is it best to be future-focused and provide the latest tablet computer and learning programs?

Staying Hands-On

Patti Clark, vice president of product development at Lakeshore, advocates for no screen time at all for infants and toddlers. “When children are young, it interferes with development, and leads to a habit,” Clark says. “They need things where they’re active with other people.”

To inspire kids toward imaginative hands-on activities, Clark recommends that parents look with their children at all the materials at hand and brainstorm different things they can do with them. “Take 15 minutes and think,” she says. When parents simply tell a child to “go and play,” they’ll head straight for screen time, Clark explains. But with some direction to help them get started, pretty soon they’ve got a room transformed into a zoo or a restaurant.

Dawn Kurtz, Ph.D., chief program officer of Los Angeles Universal Preschool, also wants to see kids engaged with mainly hands-on activities in the early years. “Our focus is how to create critical thinking in life,” she says. “We want to create a stimulating environment for kids, but not one that’s potentially too cluttered by technology.”

A trip to the grocery store, putting the food away back home and talking about where the fruits and vegetables come from is a great way to bring learning into everyday life. “Ask  questions, like ‘What weighs more: apples or strawberries?’” Kurtz says. Look for learning moments in the back yard or on a walk through the neighborhood. “Kids love to talk about the weather,” says Kurtz, adding they don’t need anything too fancy or high tech. “They naturally gravitate toward exploration.”

Kurtz says technology is not often interactive in the same way as these real-life experiences. “There’s no serve and return, no active exchange,” she says. However, parents can encourage critical thinking and language development by talking with kids about their experiences with technology. “Technology doesn’t have to be completely individual,” she says. If your child is playing a game or working on a project online, chat with them about what they are doing so they can explain their thought processes.

home learning activities for kids

Should families stick with traditional books, or go digital? Balance is best, say many experts. PHOTO COURTESY LOS ANGELES UNIVERSAL PRESCHOOL

Conversation is an essential part of social interaction, something every child at every age needs to practice but isn’t exposed to while plugged in to a tech device. “Parents are so worried about academics, what the child knows,” Kurtz says. It’s more important for kids to learn to self-regulate, follow directions and interact with others to develop social skills.

Still, parents shouldn’t feel guilty about allowing their little ones to plug in once in a while. Ages 3 to 5 should have some exposure to technology, but Clark recommends a limit of one to two hours a day. Using the iPad or computer to play beginning language games or to sing counting songs is fine, within limits. “Kids are busy these days. It’s OK to break up and vary the types of activities,” she says.

Digital At School

As kids enter school, their exposure to technology will increase. Parents can help prepare kids to spend more learning and social time on the Internet by discussing media literacy, cyber safety and their digital footprint, says Ryan Gleason, director of secondary education for Las Virgenes Unified School District (LVUSD). “It’s important that we monitor our children’s Internet usage and help them to make wise choices when online, while also helping them to protect their identities and limit the release of personal information,” Gleason says. “There is no such thing as a delete button when it comes to content and conversations that they post online.”

Parents don’t, however, need to worry about kids having specific technology skills before entering the classroom. “Most forward-thinking schools and districts are moving beyond ‘tech training’ and the concept of technology as a subject,” says Jim Klein, chief technology officer at  LVUSD. Instead, schools are working to foster a learning environment where technology is a tool, but children are given choices about how they learn based on their individual interests and encouraged to learn in a variety of ways, including from each other.

Educational technology has made a tremendous impact on learning. “Students are coming into our systems in many cases with a stronger foundation from a skills perspective,” says Dr. Clara Finneran, assistant superintendent of education for LVUSD. “But we don’t want students to become so dependent on technology that they require it for human interaction and creative problem solving.” Having that time to disconnect and interact with others is important. “When children start to develop an impulsive dependence on technology, or use it as a proxy for human interaction, these might be indicators that they need to dial back their usage,” Finneran says.

Target Learning, Not the Tool

Whatever a child’s age, Neil Spears, executive director of the greater Los Angeles and Bay Area regions of Power My Learning, a national nonprofit digital learning organization that has served more than 16,000 families since 2008, thinks the focus should be on the learning outcome, rather than the learning tool.

home learning activities for kids

Patti Clark, vice president of product development at Lakeshore, says parents should direct young children’s play toward imaginative, hands-on activities. PHOTO COURTESY LAKESHORE

Parents have so many questions about the “negative force” of digital learning, says Spears, when they really should be asking, “What skills and mindsets do kids need to do really well in school, to stoke their passions?”

Spears isn’t a big fan of “books have been around forever” as a reason to read them. Is it better to read an analog book or an e-book? If the goal is to understand the content, either one is OK, according to Spears. “A mix is the best,” he explains. “There’s a need for both digital and analog. It’s the role of the parent to engage.” If a child is playing a video game with mummies in it, for example, parents can use this as a springboard to learning by taking the child to the library to find books on mummies or going online with them to search for virtual tours of tombs.

Spears recommends that parents try programs and games themselves before letting their kids play. PowerMyLearning, which provides families in low-income communities with laptops and home Internet access to help build computer and Internet literacy and safety skills, also curates free digital learning activities on its website. “We comb the Internet to find the best materials,” Spears says. “We tag them by subject, grade level, modality and Common Core standards.”

Balance is Best

For this generation, time in the digital world and the real world are interchangeable, says Yalda T. Uhls, author of “Media Moms & Digital Dads—A Fact-Not-Fear Approach to Parenting in the Digital Age.” “They use the tools of digital media and interactive technology to explore their lives and do normal developmental tasks,” says Uhls.

home learning activities for kids

Yalda Uhls, author of “Media Moms and Digital Dads,” says kids today are growing up with the same priorities as previous generations, but using different tools. PHOTO BY RICH SCHMITT

Research Uhls cites in her book supports the idea that this generation of kids is growing up with much the same priorities as previous generations: hanging out with friends, developing their identities and learning new things. “It’s just a new tool,” Uhls explains. In fact, she says research shows that today’s digital generation “drinks less, smokes less, has sex later and is less violent, despite the rapid growth of media.”

Still, balance is key, Uhls stresses, especially when kids are young. They need time to move their bodies, use their motor skills and look at faces and nature. “Each activity develops different parts of the brain, and they all need to be developed for healthy development,” she says. If that’s easier said than done, Uhls suggests parents allow kids to be a part of a family media agreement or a device contract so they help decide what’s fair. The best way parents can help their kids, says Uhls, is by creating a warm, positive digital climate with rules at home.

The ideal home learning environment may be different for each family. But as long as it’s a safe, healthy space with a variety of materials—both analog and digital—to inspire and motivate, plus a little parental involvement to guide and interact, kids will do the rest and take their learning to exciting new levels.

Lori Zanteson is a frequent contributor to L.A. Parent and a mom of three.

Understanding Peanut Allergy Guidelines

Published

With Maria Garcia-Lloret, MD

peanut allergyIn January 2017, the U.S. National Institutes of Health issued new guidelines about babies and peanuts. Parents were previously advised to avoid giving children foods containing peanuts until age 3 to keep them from developing peanut allergy, but are now encouraged in some cases to give peanut-containing foods as early as 4 months.

Dr. Maria Garcia-Lloret, a pediatric allergist at Mattel Children’s Hospital at UCLA, helps us unpack the new guidelines.

What is the reason for these guidelines?

Between 1997 and 2008, incidence of peanut allergy tripled in the U.S. And that was the time when the American Academy of Pediatrics had this recommendation that you couldn’t give peanuts to a kid until he was 3. Well, that didn’t stop it.

The guidelines are based on a study that was completed about a year ago, essentially showing that early exposure to peanut-containing foods in a group of babies at high risk of developing peanut allergies decreased the final incidence of peanut allergy by almost 80 percent. The study was done in England over five years. It was definitely a game changer.

Do these guidelines mean it’s a good idea for all parents of babies to start feeding them foods containing peanuts?

No. The recommendations are stratified based on whether a baby is at high risk of peanut allergy because of severe eczema and/or egg allergy, medium risk because of mild eczema or low risk. The introduction is recommended between 4 and 6 months, so at the 4-month visit I think that it should be brought up with the pediatrician. The pediatrician will be able, on the basis of these guidelines, to determine whether this is an infant who is ready to do the introduction at home, in the office, or needs prior testing first.

What if a baby already has a peanut allergy?

For those infants, a number of therapies  are currently being investigated.  One such treatment involves the administration of very tiny – under medical evaluation and follow-up, don’t try this at home – amounts of peanut so we can try to reverse the process. The idea is to start with the equivalent of a spec, but a well-measured spec, something in the milligram range. And eventually we work our way up.

What impact might these guidelines have?

These guidelines  open the door for future changes to infants’ feeding patterns. We believe that it is a rational choice to introduce a variety of foods in low-risk or no-risk babies, the sooner the better. We know now that, for peanut at least, early exposure  favors the development of tolerance to this food. What we hope is that five or 10 years from now, incidence of peanut allergy will settle back to what it was in the 1980s.

Cooking Empanadas With Love

Published

By Christina Elston

empanadas

Guillermo Zapata makes empanadas with daughters Lou Mila, left, and Miarose, and wife Nathalie Pouille-Zapata. PHOTOS BY JUSTIN MILLER

Guillermo Zapata grew up in Buenos Aires, Argentina. And when he moved to Los Angeles in 1992 to pursue a modeling and acting career, he brought a taste of home with him. He renovated a small space in West Hollywood and opened SUR Restaurant and Lounge, now expanded and known as quite the trendy eatery.

Along the way, he married and had two daughters, Lou Mila, 11, and Miarose, 8. The family likes to cook together, and one of the dishes they like to make are empanadas. “This brings back memories of my mother and cooking at home in Argentina,” says Zapata, who grew up with four siblings and a stay-at-home mom. “I grew very close to my mother. She had a great passion for cooking.”

He and his wife, Nathalie Pouille-Zapata, share that passion with their daughters, who started cooking with them a few years ago. He says they love to make this dish for family and friends.

This Argentinian version of empanadas, Zapata points out, isn’t as spicy as the Mexican variety. And his recipe doesn’t involve frying – and all that oil. You can change the filling to include cooked ham, tuna or any kind of cooked, chopped meat. If you prefer vegetarian, spinach works well, too. And you can add cheese if you like. “You can create something for all kinds of tastes,” Zapata says.

If you don’t want to make the dough (called “tapas”) yourself, Zapata recommends Catalina’s Market, 1070 N. Western Ave., L.A., which sells tapas ready made. They’re also known for the finished empanadas they sell in their on-site café.

Argentinean Empanadas from Guillermo Zapata of SUR Restaurant and Lounge

Makes 12

For the dough:empanadas

500 grams (about 1 cup) flour

1 teaspoon salt

200 grams (about 1 stick) butter, a bit colder than room temperature

Cold water

For the filling and assembly:

2 tablespoons olive oil

2 or 3 medium onions, chopped fine

1  pound ground beef

2 green bell peppers, chopped

½ cup chopped olives

2 eggs, hard boiled and chopped

Salt and pepper to taste

1 egg white

1 tablespoon water

To make the crust, combine the flour and salt on a work surface, then add the butter and mix by hand. Add cold water bit by bit until you get a dough that is not too firm but not too soft. Shape the dough into a ball, cover with a clean dish cloth or napkin and let it rest at room temperature for at least 30 minutes.

Meanwhile, make the filling. Heat 1 tablespoon of oil in a frying pan over medium heat. When hot, add the chopped onions and cook, stirring, until they become dark yellow. Then add the beef, green pepper, olives, boiled eggs, salt and pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the meat is fully cooked and no longer pink.

Divide the dough into two or three parts. Roll each piece of dough out on a floured work surface, one at a time, to a thickness of about ¼ inch, sprinkling with flour as needed to keep the dough from sticking. Cut 5-inch circles out of the dough with a sharp knife.

Place two tablespoons of filling in the center of each circle. Brush the edges of the circle with cold water, fold the dough over the filling and use a fork to crimp the edges closed. Mix the egg white with a tablespoon of water and brush the egg wash over the finished empanadas.

Place the empanadas on a baking sheet and bake in a 350-degree oven for 10 minutes.

Teaching Kids About Money: Spend, Save and Give Jars

Published

By Daniella Guzman

kids and moneyWhen I told my daughter, then 4 years old, that I didn’t have money to buy her a toy, she said, “Just go to the bank and they’ll give you money.” I frowned at her and tried again, explaining that I had only a $10 bill and what she wanted cost $20. She said, “It’s OK, just use your card.”

I realized she had no idea about the value of money. I really couldn’t blame her because I was never great at managing money as a little girl. I was careless and would leave my purse behind at a restaurant or I’d lose my allowance. Financial experts say children as young as 3 can grasp concepts such as saving and spending. Researchers at the University of Cambridge found that kids’ money habits are formed by age 7. These statistics were enough to give me a new mission to help Sofia better understand the value of a dollar.

The best approach for us has not been a “sit down and explain how it works” kind of lesson. Instead, we take advantage of everyday teachable money moments. When Sofia turned 5, we decided to use money expert Dave Ramsey’s “Spend, Save & Give” jars approach.

I labeled three jars. We began giving Sofia a weekly allowance of $5 ($1 per year of age). She divides that equally between the three jars. The “Spend” money is for small purchases such as candy, stickers or any small treat. The “Save” money is for saving for more expensive items. The “Give” money is for Sofia to donate to our church, a charity of her choice or to buy something for someone else.

Financial expert Beth Kobliner advises teaching kids ages 3 to 5 how to wait to buy something they want, which is a difficult concept for kids this age. In a world with instant downloads and overnight shipping, saving up two weeks’ worth of allowance to buy something she really wanted taught Sofia a lot of patience.

According to Ramsey, children ages 6 to 13 should be taught how to spend wisely. You can start by explaining why you buy generic brands versus name brands or how buying in bulk gets you a cheaper per-item price.

I don’t have teenagers yet, but my friends say they don’t save as much because teens tend to spend on expensive stuff like electronics, cars and other big-ticket items. The value of long-term saving or investment goals is a good lesson for this age. Conversations about the dangers of credit card debt, credit scores and college funds, financial experts say, are also important in the pre-teen years.

To help Sofia keep track of her income and expenses in a fun way, we use a simple worksheet. We write down every time Sofia receives her allowance, takes money out and what she spends it on so at the end of the month she can see her activity.

Ramsey also suggests making a wish list of things your kids want to do with their money. Then help them rank the list by discussing what’s important about each wish – an invaluable lesson about setting priorities they’ll need their entire lives.

I feel the responsibility to teach my girls to make smart money choices for themselves. Even just grocery shopping, role playing at home or identifying the different kinds of coins or bills for fun can get them interested and confident talking about money, where it comes from and what to do with it. All good lessons for our children and great reminders for parents, too.

Daniella Guzman is the anchor on NBC4 Southern California’s “Today in LA” weekday morning newscast, 4:30-7 a.m. A mother of two, Daniella’s column, “On the Record,” brings her views on parenting, fun family activities and her take on work-life balance. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram @daniellanbcla.

Reconnecting During Annual Snow Trip to Mammoth Mountain

Published

By Elena Epstein

family travel

The Epstein family with Woolly on Mammoth Mountain. PHOTOS BY THE EPSTEINS

It was 17 degrees with snow on the ground. My fingers were starting to hurt from the cold even though I had liners underneath my gloves, but I wasn’t about to head indoors. Numb fingers, who cares? I was with my daughters dancing to Flo Rida, Usher, Rihanna and Katy Perry mixed in with some old-school favs like Bon Jovi, Duran Duran and the Go’s Go’s.

Friday night of New Year’s weekend, the Village in Mammoth was transformed into an outdoor dance party with the Silent DJ. We each donned our headphones, picked one of the three stations and danced to the beat of our own songs. At one point I stepped aside to catch my breath and see if I could find some hot chocolate to help me warm up. I looked over the crowd filled with parents, kids, grandparents, teens and twenty-somethings all with their different-colored headphones glowing in the dark, the giant Christmas tree as our backdrop, twinkling lights sparkling from the nearby restaurants and shops and my 18-year-old and 21-year-old girls dancing together and taking selfies. I was so thankful that we made this annual trip to the mountain happen once again.

Ever since our oldest daughter was 2, we have spent a couple of days in the snow every year. At first we would drive up to Big Bear or Lake Arrowhead and spend our days sledding, making snowmen and having snow ball fights. When the girls were a bit older, they started taking skiing and snowboarding lessons. Twelve years ago, we started coming to Mammoth with a few other family friends and this became our winter getaway, our place in the snow. We didn’t miss a year, not even when my husband had the flu or when my oldest daughter broke her finger playing soccer.

This year, the group of families we typically travel with couldn’t make the trip and we considered not going. Should we try somewhere new? Maybe a tropical destination? But, there is something about tradition—that warm feeling inside knowing you are returning somewhere you love. So the Wednesday before New Year’s weekend, I started calling and by some crazy chance there was one condo left in the complex where we typically stay. It was meant to be.

As soon as the reservation was made, I realized that just taking out the snow gear from the closet brings back so many good memories. My daughters were quick to remind me that we need to do our “Mammoth junk food shopping.” I had forgotten that every year before our trip, the three of us go to the market and stock up on our favorite chips, cookies and hot chocolate for the road and for our condo. And of course we need the ingredients to make “the dip”—our much-loved artichoke and cheese bread-bowl dip that tastes even better after coming back from a day on the slopes.

Almost missing our trip to Mammoth this year was a good reminder of how precious family rituals are, especially during our year of change. My youngest daughter started college this year and my oldest is finishing her senior year in college. This past year was filled with college applications, ACT tests, college tours, high school graduation, dorm shopping and of course, move-in day. Definitely a year of transition. My husband and I have always loved spending time with our daughters and now that they are both away at school, we savor every moment together even more.

Coming to Mammoth this year was more than just a ski trip. It was like finding our compass. When everything is changing around you, it feels so good to go somewhere familiar and comfortable; to go back to your favorite family spot. Over the years, the music we listen to during the drive up has changed from Radio Disney to KIIS FM. The games we bring have varied from Pretty, Pretty Princess to Uno Attack and Family Feud to Black Jack. But, some things haven’t changed, like Schats Bakery & Cafe in Bishop. Every year we stop there to have lunch and pick up fresh and delicious sheepherder bread and holiday jelly and every year my husband complains about the long lines that snake out the door at times. But this is our spot. And it feels good to be back.

While most of our days are spent skiing and snowboarding, there are lots of good memories in so many other little things we do here. The walk to the lodge from our condo, the Jacuzzi in the afternoon, the warm chili in Canyon Lodge for lunch, hot chocolate at The Mill Café in between runs, games by the fireplace at night—these moments are all part of our annual trip.

My personal favorite spot to return to each year is Tamarack Lodge, where the four of us hike or snowshoe. I have swayed my family, who love the adrenaline rush of skiing and snowboarding, to join me on this quieter side of the mountain. And it is magical. Charming little wood cabins with snow-covered roofs, trails of untouched snow, pine trees with trunks buried in the fresh powder—on this side of the mountain, I feel like I’m inside an enchanted storybook. We hike, we talk, we laugh and we throw snowballs. Even though we see the cross-country skiers pass by us and other snowshoers or hikers crossing the trails, I always feel like this is “our” mountain.

For the young families out there, I urge you to find your mountain—a favorite spot for your family. It doesn’t have to be far, or snowy, or expensive, or a mountain. It just has to be yours—a place you come back to year after year, a place filled with your memories.

Elena Epstein is Director of Content & Strategic Partnerships at L.A. Parent.

5 Common-Sense Tips For Raising Great Kids

Published

By Richard Greenberg

It’s the middle of January and many of us have broken our New Year’s Resolutions and are back to who we were in December. For parents who are looking for a way to raise their children to be respectful, likeable, and successful adults it’s not too late.

Here are 5 philosophical tips that will pay dividends for years to come including:

  • Teach your kids to leave a trail of people who have only nice things to say about them. Lead by example. We just came through the nastiest election in history, and if your kids don’t learn to respect others from you, they’re probably not gonna get it anywhere else. Model empathy and respect for others. What you do matters.
  • Give them chores. Several studies support the notion that doing regular chores has numerous developmental benefits, and it doesn’t hurt to have a little help around the house!

    parenting

    Richard Greenberg is the Common Sense Dad.

  • Monitor the progress of their homework. It’s a struggle, we know, but “executive skills” (organization of time) will pay off when they enter the job market. Teach them how to use their planners and check them every once in a while. Encourage them to ask for help and be a teammate, not a boss. If need be, minimize the distractions. Outlaw TV and other non-homework related electronics.
  • Allow your kids to struggle and even fail. This is one of the hardest challenges of parenting. Everybody makes mistakes. Teach them to learn from theirs. As W. E. Hickson said: “If at first you don’t succeed… try, try again.” This is how they grow.
  • Make sure they have time to get bored. For children, play is work. When they’re left to ponder, their imaginations kick in. Limit their electronics during free time and don’t feel the need to entertain them. “Go bang your head against the wall until you think of something to do,” might be a good response to, “I’m bored.”

Richard Greenberg is the Los Angeles based blogger Common Sense Dad  (www.commonsensedad.com) and best-selling author of “Raising Children Other People Like To Be Around.” 

Celebrate Chinese New Year With Potstickers

Published

By Christina Elston

family recipes

PHOTOS COURTESY KATIE CHIN

The first day of the Chinese New Year is Jan. 28, and we’ll welcome the Year of the Rooster. The delicious little dumplings called potstickers are a traditional food this time of year because, according to chef Katie Chin, they resemble gold ingots and symbolize wealth.

Chin, L.A.-based cookbook author, food blogger, TV personality and mom of 8-year-old twins, also points out that in Chinese culture, food is served family style and meant to be shared. “I think in a lot of cultures, and especially Chinese American culture, food is an expression of love,” she says. “I also think that food is storytelling from one generation to the next.”

Chin’s kids, Dylan and Becca, started making potstickers with her mom when they were 3 years old, and Chin advises parents to let yours get creative in shaping the dumplings. “No matter how they look, they’re going to taste delicious,” she says.

Potsticker wrappers can be found in most grocery stores, and Chin says covering them with a damp paper towel once you open the package will help them stay pliable. She advises home cooks to keep the wrappers moist, press firmly when making the pleats and be patient.

A bonus with these is that parents can sneak in some sautéed spinach, leftover roast chicken, shredded carrots or other leftovers from the refrigerator. You can even make a double recipe of filling and freeze half of the filling and the wrappers for another meal.

 

Potstickers from Katie Chin’s “Everyday Chinese Cookbook”

Serves 6 to 8 as an appetizer or snack

Preparation time: 20 minutes, Cooking time: 10 minutes

family recipes

L.A.-based cookbook author and food blogger Katie Chin says potstickers are a great dish to make with kids. PHOTOS COURTESY KATIE CHIN

For the potstickers:

4 oz (100 g) napa cabbage, cut into thin strips

1½ teaspoons salt, divided

8 oz (250 g) ground pork or chicken

2 tablespoons finely chopped green onion (scallion), white and green parts

2 teaspoons dry white wine

½ teaspoon all-purpose cornstarch

½ teaspoon dark sesame oil

Dash of white pepper

20 to 30 potsticker wrappers

2 to 4 tablespoons oil for frying

For the dipping sauce

4 tablespoons soy sauce

1 teaspoon dark sesame oil

½ teaspoon sugar

Toss the cabbage with 1 teaspoon of the salt and set aside for 5 minutes, then roll the cabbage up in a clean, dry dish towel. Twist the dish towel to squeeze out the excess moisture.

In a large bowl, mix the cabbage, pork or chicken, green onion, wine, cornstarch, sesame oil, the remaining ½ teaspoon salt and the pepper.

Lay a potsticker wrapper on a clean work surface. Place 1 tablespoon of the meat mixture in the center. Lift up the edges of the circle and pinch several pleats up to create a pouch encasing the mixture. Pinch the top together. Repeat with the remaining wrappers and filling.

Heat 1 tablespoon of the oil for frying in a wok or skillet over moderately high heat. Place 12 dumplings in a single layer in the wok or skillet and fry 2 minutes, or until the bottoms are golden brown. Add ½ cup (125 ml) water.

Cover and cook for 6 to 7 minutes, or until the water is absorbed. Repeat with the remaining dumplings.

Make the dipping sauce: Combine the soy sauce, sesame oil and sugar. Serve alongside the dumplings.

Some Kids Need Just 2 Doses of HPV Vaccine Say Cancer Centers

Published

Submitted by USC Norris Comprehensive Cancer Center

hpv vaccine

Girls and boys ages 11 and 12 now need just two doses of the HPV vaccine, says the CDC. PHOTO BY JAMES GATHANY/CDC

The University of Southern California (USC) Norris Comprehensive Cancer Center and its fellow 69 National Cancer Institute (NCI)-designated cancer centers voiced their support last week for recently revised recommendations from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) for the human papillomavirus (HPV) vaccine. These guidelines recommend that children ages 11 and 12 should receive two doses – rather than the previously recommended three – of the HPV vaccine. Adolescents and young adults older than 15 should continue to complete the three-dose series.

“The updated guidelines provide a safe and effective way for parents to protect their children from easily preventable cancers,” said Stephen Gruber, MD, PhD, MPH, director of the USC Norris Comprehensive Cancer Center, in a statement announcing the center’s support. “Our hope is that this will encourage more parents to vaccinate their children against HPV, which would dramatically decrease the incidence rates for cervical cancer, as well as other cancers that affect both men and women.”

According to the CDC, incidence rates of HPV-associated cancers have continued to rise, with approximately 39,000 new HPV-associated cancers now diagnosed each year in the U.S. Although HPV vaccines can prevent the majority of cervical, anal, oropharyngeal (middle throat) and other genital cancers, vaccination rates remain low across the U.S., with just 41.9 percent of girls and 28.1 percent of boys completing the recommend vaccine series.

Research shows there are a number of barriers to overcome to improve vaccination rates, including a lack of strong recommendations from physicians and parents not understanding that this vaccine protects against several types of cancer.

“Physicians and researchers must educate parents and the public about the importance of vaccinating children and adolescents against HPV,” Gruber said. “With this vaccine, we have the ability to eradicate cervical cancer and other cancers, and our advocacy is crucial for increasing vaccination rates nationwide.”

In an effort to overcome these barriers, NCI-designated cancer centers have organized a continuing series of national summits to share new research, discuss best practices, and identify collective action toward improving vaccination rates.

“We have been inspired by the White House Cancer Moonshot to work together in eliminating cancer,” said Electra Paskett, PhD, associate director for population sciences at The Ohio State University Comprehensive Cancer Center – Arthur G. James Cancer Hospital and Richard J. Solove Research Institute (OSUCCC – James) Cancer Control Research Program. “Improving HPV vaccination is an example of an evidence-based prevention strategy we can implement today to save thousands of lives in the future.”

The statement supporting the new CDC recommendation follows a gathering this past summer of 150 experts from across the country, including Gruber and other USC Norris faculty, to present research updates and plan future collaborative actions across NCI-designated cancer centers.

Tara Sorensen: Creating Children’s Programming with a Mom’s Touch

Published

kids and media

Tara Sorensen, with husband Scott and their children Lucas and Laurel, works to create television shows focused on habits kids can carry with them throughout life. PHOTO COURTESY TARA SORENSEN

One of Tara Sorensen’s favorite places to be is among books, children’s books in particular. “The Giving Tree” and “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” are a couple of her favorites. The L.A. mom of two and head of kids programming at Amazon Studios has always loved a good story with characters that leap off the page and into the imagination. It was her love of storytelling that led her into children’s television programming.

Before joining Amazon, she was at National Geographic, where she was vice president of kids programming for the Emmy Award-winning “Toot & Puddle” on Nick Jr. and “Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies” on PBS. Prior to that, Sorensen was vice president of kids programming for Sony and headed the development of “Dragon Tales” for PBS, “Jackie Chan Adventures” and “Men in Black” for Kids’ WB and “Stuart Little” and the Daytime Emmy Award-winning “Harold and the Purple Crayon” for HBO Family. I recently chatted with Sorensen about her work and family life.

You were an English major at USC. Tell us how you ended up in television.

I love books, especially children’s books. I have such fond memories of my own parents reading and singing to me. Even as an adult, I gravitate towards children’s books. It takes me to a happy place. At first, everyone assumed as an English major, I would be a teacher. As I got closer to graduation, however, I thought I could have a bigger, broader impact through children’s programming. I have always worked on shows focused on creating habits that kids can carry throughout life.

How has becoming a mom affected how you see children’s programming?

I see how a child and a parent react to a story from a very personal space. I’m so excited for our “The Stinky & Dirty Show,” which is based on the books by Jim and Kate McMullan. When my son was 3, he was obsessed with trash trucks. He would wait for the trash truck to come every Thursday morning. We would read McMullan’s “I Stink!” “I’m Dirty” book set over and over. I can still recite the words. The books and now the Amazon original show are about a day in the life of a garbage truck, but at their core they’re about resiliency and resourcefulness. With every show, my goal is to give our viewers the same message I want to give my own kids: It’s OK to make mistakes, be independent thinkers and problem solvers.

What does a typical day look like for you?

It starts early. I usually read a script or watch a cut of an episode before the kids wake up. Then we have breakfast, I walk the kids to school and then I head to the office. I’m typically back home around 7 and I read with my kids every night before bed. Our weekends are all about family. We usually have a birthday party or two and club soccer games. We love to go biking, surfing, snowboarding or just hang out at the beach. It’s definitely a juggling act. I try to carve out concentrated time with my kids so I can give them 100 percent of me. I talk to them about my work and what we’re trying to create for families. I want them to see and understand what I do.

What’s the best part of your job?

I love hearing from parents about how much they enjoyed watching a show with their kids and how it brings them together around the screen and out into the world. That’s the best part of my job – how our programs provide a tool kit for everyday life and how kids can extrapolate lessons out into the real world or daily life.

Cutting Sugar in Your Kids’ Diet

Published

By Christina Elston

kids' dietOver the summer, while kids were bingeing on screen time and ice cream and parents were counting the days until school would start again, a panel convened by the American Heart Association was putting the finishing touches on a scientific statement about children and sugar, published in August in the association’s journal, “Circulation.”

The panel’s recommendations were simple and stark:

Children under age 2 should not eat or drink any foods or beverages with added sugar.

Kids and teens should drink no more than 8 ounces of sugar-sweetened beverages per week.

Children ages 2-18 should eat no more than six teaspoons of added sugar per day.

Most kids, according to the report, take in three times that amount.

Six teaspoons of sugar is about  25 grams, and my quick and unscientific investigation at my local grocery store yielded the following sugar counts:

  • One serving of Quaker Instant Maple and Brown Sugar Oatmeal: 12 grams
  • One Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Soft Baked strawberry cereal bar: 11 grams
  • A serving of Yoplait Light Harvest Peach Yogurt: 10 grams
  • One package of Dole tropical fruit in 100% juice: 14 grams
  • One-third of a California Pizza Kitchen hand-tossed BBQ Recipe Chicken with Bacon pizza: 7 grams
  • One serving of Birds Eye frozen Sweet Corn and Butter Sauce: 5.92 grams
  • Eight ounces of Minute Maid Country Style orange juice: 24 grams

Given that experts link eating foods high in added sugar during childhood with increased risk of obesity and elevated blood pressure, how are we to curb our kids’ sugar cravings and put them on a healthier path?

I sought help from three local nutrition experts.

Sort Sugar Sources

Erin Morse, RD, chief clinical dietitian for UCLA Health, points out that not all sugar is “added.” “An apple has fructose and that is natural sugar,” she explains. That apple, though, also contains dietary fiber and nutrients that are good for the body.

Added sugar, on the other hand, does not occur naturally in food and adds no nutritional value. It can go by many names, including fructose, dextrose, honey, molasses, corn syrup and nectar – to name just a few.

Even sugar that comes in unprocessed form – such as honey – can harm your health if you consume too much. “At the end of the day, it’s something added,” says Nadia Borchardt, RD, a health educator at Kaiser Permanente’s South Bay Medical Center.

Experts warn parents not to be fooled by wording such as “healthy,” “organic,” “low-fat” or “all-natural” on food packaging. Check the nutrition label to see how much sugar is in a food product.

Build a Better Breakfast

Many breakfast foods pack a big sugar wallop. Borchardt says some breakfast cereals can have as much as 25 grams of added sugar in a one-cup serving (and many kids eat more than that). Instant and flavored oatmeals offer a quick, hot breakfast option that sounds healthy. “But with that convenience of ‘instant’ also comes a lot of sugar,” says Borchardt. kids' diet

Flavored yogurts, another breakfast favorite, also can have lots of added sugar, as can cereal or “nutrition” bars that families often grab on the go. The bars aren’t intended as a meal replacement, but as a quick source of energy for people who are out hiking or playing sports. “They’re probably not the best thing to enjoy if you’re not as active as you should be,” says Crystal Kwan, RD, clinical dietitian at Huntington Hospital in Pasadena.

A balanced breakfast, says Kwan, includes complex carbohydrates and a good source of protein. So she recommends a slice of whole-grain toast with natural peanut butter (natural nut butters contain no added sugar), a boiled egg and plain yogurt flavored with fruit, a tortilla with natural nut butter or a slice of deli meat, or even leftovers from dinner. “It doesn’t have to be strictly in the breakfast category,” she says.

Morse also favors savory breakfast options such as a “cheese plate” with grapes, cheese, olives, whole-grain crackers or a few nuts. Cucumber Greek yogurt with whole-wheat pita for dipping is another of her recommendations, as the savory yogurts tend not to have added sugar. “It’s great to think outside the box and get some savory food items,” Morse says.

On the sweet side, banana coins with a dollop of all-natural nut butter, or homemade plain-yogurt smoothies you prep in a mason jar the night before are among Morse’s ideas. In the morning, you just pull the jar out of the refrigerator, dump and blend.

Morse also bakes mini oatmeal muffins – cutting the sugar in half as you can in most muffin recipes and sneaking in some spinach. She calls these green treats “Hulk muffins” and her 4-year-old son eats them up. “Sometimes I’ll even add one chocolate chip at the top, just to make it more kid-friendly for the eyes,” she says.

Not that ambitious? “I find that many children are OK with Cheerios,” Borchardt says. Stick with Multigrain Cheerios, which have just 6 grams of added sugar.

Pack a Better Lunch

“I think you can never go wrong with sandwiches,” Borchardt advises families looking for low-sugar lunch options. Use whole-grain bread and your imagination to keep your child from getting bored. Add a serving of a vegetable such as cherry tomatoes or baby carrots, and a fruit that is cut up for convenience so your kiddos can fit in some playground time. “If you give a child a whole apple, it’s gonna come back home,” she says.

Packaged fruit and fruit leathers aren’t a great alternative to fresh fruit. “When you buy them packaged or you buy them canned, we know that we’re getting additional sugar,” Borchardt says. Choose fruit packed in its own juice if you cannot buy fresh.

As much as possible, choose natural foods over packaged items, which tend to contain added sugar. “I always push people toward more natural foods,” says Kwan. So pack baby carrots instead of pita chips to go with your child’s hummus, and fresh fruit instead of a fruit bar. “Choose foods that are as close to their natural state as possible,” she says.

Do Dinner the Fresh Way

The best way to move away from added sugar at dinner time is to move toward home-cooked meals. “Learn a few really good recipes that are easy to make,” Morse suggests, and cook as a family so that everyone has a stake in meal preparation.

To keep things simple, Google five-ingredient recipes. “Sometimes it can be quicker than getting takeout,” says Morse. “It’s cheaper. It’s healthier. You’ll feel better.” And if you make big batches you’ll have an extra meal ready for the next day – or to put into the freezer for next week.

“Learn to flavor things without a lot of sugared condiments,” says Morse, who points out that one tablespoon of ketchup has 4 grams of sugar. She recommends learning to make your own salad dressing.kids' diet

If you must rely on packaged food for convenience, Borchardt says the added sugar is often in the sauce. When you can, choose foods where the sauce is packaged separately, and use less of it. And when choosing frozen or packaged vegetables, choose plain vegetables without sauce.

Make Water Your Drink

One of the biggest sources of added sugar for most kids isn’t anything they eat, however. It is what they drink.

Sodas and sports drinks can pack in a ton of sugar, but flavored milk and even fruit juices can also add to the sugar count. “Some of these fruit drinks are equivalent to a can of soda,” says Borchardt. And a 12-ounce bottle of Coca Cola has 65 grams of sugar.

Morse says that low-sugar juice boxes are available, and that parents can dilute juice and other sugary drinks with water – increasing the portion of water over time until you are including very little of the original drink. But most experts say that plain water is your goal.

One way to get kids to drink that: Spa water! Use a clear pitcher or glass and cut up slices or chunks of fruit, vegetables such as cucumber or herbs such as mint to infuse the water with flavor. “That’s something the kids can get involved with preparing,” says Kwan, adding that children can invent their own water creations.

To help kids get in the water habit, Kwan recommends making it the rule at mealtime – allowing sweetened drinks only at other times of day if you allow them at all.

And whatever you’re doing for your kids, lead by example. They won’t be happy with their spa water if you’re having a sports drink. “Kids learn from their parents when it comes to eating,” Kwan says.

If you’ve discovered your family has big changes to make, don’t be discouraged. Start slowly and do what you can. “Make small changes,” says Morse, “and over time the small changes can amount to a lot.” Or in the case of sugar, a lot less.

Christina Elston is Editor of L.A. Parent.

Depression in Moms Goes Beyond Baby Blues

Published

By Kaumudi Marathé

depression-3“I’m depressed.” How often have we heard a fellow mom say that? We commiserate, give her a hug and move on. After all, the phrase is used quite casually these days. It might indicate sadness – the loss of a job, the death of a loved one or a sense of stagnation – or it might indicate hormonal shifts. Unless that mom says she has been clinically diagnosed with depression, there is a chance we won’t treat her comment with gravitas, ask questions or steer her toward professional help. Experts say we should.

Depression in moms is not always definable, not always evident, not always diagnosed. Women suffer from mood and anxiety disorders at approximately twice the rate of men, and 10-20 percent will experience a clinically significant episode of depressive or anxiety disorder in their lifetime.

“Some of this may be related to physiological distinctions involving hormones and genetics,” says Itai Danovitch, M.D., who chairs the department of psychiatry and behavioral neurosciences at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. “Additionally, severe stress is a risk factor for depression, and women are much more likely to have a life history of sexual assault or domestic violence.” And some forms of depression, such as postpartum, perinatal and menopausal depression, only affect women.

Living in Los Angeles can make a woman’s struggle with depression more difficult. “It is a wonderful city, but it is also a hard one,” says Danovitch. “The cost of living is high. Schools are plagued with challenges, which require unending parental involvement and support. Commutes are long. Workdays are long, and few workplaces truly adapt to the scheduling and lifestyle needs of mothers. Images of apparent success are everywhere. All of these urban experiences cause stress. And persisting stress is a risk factor for anxiety and depression.”

Unrealistic expectations cause further harm. “There is a circulating fantasy in L.A. that being a good mother means doing it all and doing it all alone,” says Lilit Pogosian, M.D., medical director of the Maternal Wellness Program at Huntington Hospital in Pasadena. This idea inevitably leads to disappointment.

Spotting Symptoms

While studies have shown that one in 10 women of child-bearing age have experienced symptoms of major depression in the past year, these often go unrecognized – and untreated. “It is of utmost importance for mothers to recognize signs and symptoms of depression, as help is available,” says Pogosian.

Karoline Keegan, a 51-year-old L.A. mom of two daughters, has had some form of depression for much of her life. “I think I actually suffered from it, on and off, without knowing what it was,” she says. “Depression is not quantifiable, unlike a toothache that you can identify clearly. If you don’t quite know what something is, you are not sure how to fix it. You muddle through and wait till it passes. Or it could exacerbate till you start hurting yourself or use some coping skills that we practice as women – overeating, shopping, you know – when we just don’t feel good about ourselves.”

Many mothers either do not recognize their symptoms of depression or brush them off as inconsequential. “Less than 50 percent of women who experience depression ever receive treatment for it,” says Danovitch. “When you are preoccupied in caring for others, you are at risk of neglecting your own emotional needs. There is much evidence now that it is vital for caregivers to tend to themselves, and that, in the long run, achieving balance strengthens the ability to care for others.”

Another problem, Elizabeth Hamilton, LCSW, of Kaiser Permanente Panorama City Medical Center says, is that mothers are “very sensitive to possible judgment and criticism and hesitate to bring up negative feelings like worry and sadness,” which are two signs of depression. Other common symptoms include lack of energy and motivation, a sense of hopelessness or helplessness, trouble focusing or sleeping, a disturbed appetite and sometimes suicidal thoughts.

No Super Mom

Recently, Pogosian has noticed mothers in her clinic with more subtle signs: excessive tearfulness, mood irritability, hypersensitivity and social withdrawal. “Mothers stop answering phone calls or texts or they turn down invitations to meet and connect socially,” she says. “They fear being judged for how they experience motherhood and the challenges they face. Such negative thoughts create a sense of rejection, which further feeds the isolation and depression.”

Pogosian says she also sees patients with intense guilt, often triggered by “the constant questioning of oneself and one’s abilities as a mother” and by the belief that “a woman’s role as a mother equals a completely selfless one.” So, moms tend to focus their attention on their loved ones, with not much time or energy left for themselves. This is especially true of mothers raising children as single parents or after a divorce.

Erica Mia Greenberger (name changed) is one of those single moms. “I moved to L.A. when I graduated from college 20 years ago,” she says. “I think I would be the same person anywhere, but L.A. does make you feel that the ideal life is for young people, so you age out at some point.” Greenberger has suffered from depression throughout her life, and is the child of an alcoholic with a family history of depression that has manifested in different ways – anorexia, alcoholism, migraines.

Greenberger believes the pattern continues from one generation to the next. “The only way to break it is to recognize [the] issue,” she says. And though she calls becoming a parent the best thing that could have happened to her, she admits she feels isolated raising a daughter alone. “I am happier with people, and when I am left alone all day through parenting and my work, my head goes to challenging places,” she says. For her, therefore, having a community is healthy and essential.

As it is for most moms. “I tell people to remember that they are not in it alone,” says Hamilton. “The more we support each other, parent to parent and mother to mother, the better off for everyone. Super Mom does not have to go it alone. We exist and thrive in community, and teaching our children that we can reach out to others for help is a valuable lesson.”

Lifestyle Changes

Reaching out for help is the ultimate solution for moms struggling with depression, but there are some lifestyle changes that can help. Pogosian says that moderate exercise and physical activity can help relieve anxiety, as can meditation and yoga.

Mindfulness programs – such as one offered through the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center – can also reduce symptoms of anxiety. Headspace, an app available for a small subscription fee, offers a handy and portable resource for mindfulness exercises.

Mothers need to schedule “alone time” for self-care but also need to spend time with friends and fellow moms, even for casual meet-ups, to avoid becoming isolated.

Moms can also work to simplify their parenting, focusing on giving children unstructured free time to play, create and explore. “What they want most is to spend time with us,” Hamilton says. “Take stock. What is most important, most fun? Do these things and cut out the rest. If we feel less hectic and more calm in mothering, this passes on to our children and partners, and can result in improved well-being for everyone.”

Getting Help

Whatever lifestyle changes they try, Pogosian recommends that mothers who believe they are dealing with depression connect with practitioners who specialize in women’s mental health. This will ensure a thorough evaluation and treatment planning to best address the challenges and vulnerabilities today’s mothers face.

Danovitch stresses that clinical depression is treatable, and encourages moms to seek help early.

He recommends:

  • A medical evaluation, because nutrient and hormone deficiencies such as anemia, low thyroid function and vitamin D deficiency can cause depression.
  • Talk therapies such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Interpersonal Therapy (IPT), which are designed to be delivered in 10 sessions or less so they don’t require an open-ended commitment.
  • Lifestyle interventions including aerobic exercise and boosting essential fatty acids in the diet.
  • Antidepressants, particularly for moderate to severe depression, but only when combined with therapy and lifestyle changes.

Hamilton advises anyone dealing with ongoing sadness, hopelessness, crying spells, worry, stress, insomnia and physical pain such as stomach aches, headaches or body aches to seek help from a qualified mental health professional. “Oftentimes, speaking with a professional therapist is enough to gain the knowledge and positive coping skills needed to feel better,” she says.

Kaiser offers telephone and video visits, email communication with doctors, podcasts on topics such as relaxation and guided imagery, and an array of support groups including groups dedicated to women experiencing depression.

Moms struggling with depression can also seek support from partners, friends and family members. “Mothers are so often busy doing for everyone else. Take the time to exercise, eat healthy foods, be mindful in your approach to everyday tasks and live in the moment,” Hamilton urges.

So, if you notice a friend who is continually gloomy, sad or not socializing much, give her more than a hug. Ask pointed questions, listen for clues in the answers and offer practical suggestions so she can get help. You might be just the push she needs.

Kaumudi Marathé is a journalist and chef, but her favorite job is being a mom. When she isn’t driving to and from ballet class, volunteering at school events or walking her puppy, Kaumudi teaches cooking, writes freelance and runs long distances in Glendale.

6 Free Workouts for L.A. Families

Published

By Lori Zanteson

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Shatto Recreation Center is one of many Los Angeles facilities that include free outdoor fitness centers where families can create their own workouts. PHOTO BY JUANCARLOS CHAN/L.A. DEPT. OF RECREATION AND PARKS

Whether your goals for 2017 involve a narrower waistline, speedier 5K or just a longer and happier life, they’ll be well served by getting out and getting active with your family. Though the Southland has no shortage of gym memberships and specialty fitness classes, it also offers plenty of free – and fun! – workouts you and your kids will love.

This might sound great when the fresh calendar year has us looking forward to making positive change, but we all know how good intentions can fall by the wayside as the daily routine of work, school and after-school activities begins. The key to success is to make it fun. “It’s important to have fun, so it’s not this thing we have to follow,” says Carolyn Buenaflor, who runs the Cedars-Sinai Healthy Habits programs in 18 schools in the Los Angeles Unified School District. “If you’re enjoying it, you’re more likely to stick with it.”

That fun is heightened when parents and kids are active together. “It’s about doing more together, bringing the family together – this is our emphasis,” says Buenaflor.

Lead by Example

To get your kids moving, take the lead. “Children imitate parents,” says Sean Hashmi, M.D., board certified internist, nephrologist and obesity medicine specialist and the adult weight management lead for Southern California Kaiser Permanente. “Create this family bonding time. We’re not talking exercise, but a quality of lifestyle. This is about creating a lifestyle around your family that you can be proud of.”

Hashmi, who practices at Kaiser Permanente in Woodland Hills, has done his part by advocating for walking paths at the facility. Now there is a path at every Kaiser facility for walkers, runners and those who have disabilities. They’re open to the entire community and are completely free. “We all have to lead by example,” he says. “You have to be the change you want to see in the world.”

Start Slow

But don’t let your New Year’s enthusiasm make you overdo it exercise wise. “Once a week, that’s plenty,” says Hashmi. “Small steps of change make a difference. Too much, and you run out of fuel and crash.”

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The view from the Baldwin Hills Scenic Outlook will make the 282 stairs you have to climb to get there seem like a piece of (fat-free) cake. PHOTO COURTESY CALIFORNIA STATE PARKS 2016

As long as you’re moving at a pace where everyone is able to talk comfortably, the focus will naturally be on having fun and no one will feel like it’s exercise. It’s a good idea to throw in some intervals, too, Hashmi says. Try including intermittent bursts of walking faster, then slower, which will spike the kids’ interest and burn more calories. Before you know it, that leisurely weekly or twice-weekly walk around the block will evolve into jogging, neighborhood bike rides and hikes in the local hills.

Personalize It

Workout activities can be super simple – doing 20 jumping jacks together during TV commercial breaks, cleaning the house, gardening or dancing together.  “Working out and exercising doesn’t have to be workout clothes,” says Buenaflor. “We encourage families to break it up, even into 10-minute increments throughout the day.” Getting your heart rate up is all that really matters, though Buenaflor recommends working to build strength and flexibility as well, and keeping workouts varied so the body burns more calories.

Destination workouts are a great way to make physical activity an adventure, especially in beautiful Southern California. There is no shortage of hikes, walking paths, stair-climbs, circuit trainings, parks and beaches to lure your family outdoors. Here’s a sampling of some great picks to explore.

Hike to the Hollywood sign. This is one of L.A.’s most iconic spots, with giant letters to motivate the kids to the top and lure them in for a selfie to show their friends. The Mt. Hollywood Trail has two starting points, both in Griffith Park. The shorter, a three-mile loop, begins at the north end of the Griffith Observatory parking lot (2800 E. Observatory Rd., L.A.). The route is easy and picturesque, with native chaparral, pines and wildflowers. The Canyon Drive Trail is a 6.5-mile trek that climbs more than 1,000 feet, ending behind the Hollywood sign. Parking is close to the trailhead at the end of Canyon Drive, near a little side route to the Bat Cave (Bronson Caves), where “Batman” of the 1960s TV series parked the Batmobile! The kids can walk right in and explore.

Walk, jog, bike and paddle at the Lake Balboa Recreation Area in Van Nuys. No matter what your family’s favorite mode – or speed – of transportation, you can make it happen here. Bring your own wheels or rent them at the park. Choose from a variety of surreys, bikes (including tandems), kids trailers or tag-a-longs to attach to an adult’s bike and take a tour around the lake or on one of several bike paths in the park. In the center of it all is the 27-acre lake, aflutter with ducks, geese and other waterfowl, which can be admired from the shore or from small watercraft such as paddleboats and kayaks. There’s also a large maritime-themed playground and interactive drum play area. Shaded and picnic areas are plentiful, so pack a meal and a few outdoor games and enjoy a few hours outside.

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Lake Balboa Recreation Area in Van Nuys offers a lovely path where families can walk, jog or ride bikes together – or rent a boat and paddle on the lake. PHOTO BY JUANCARLOS CHAN/L.A. DEPT. OF RECREATION AND PARKS

Play at a local beach. A winter or spring day at the beach is a gift, with fewer crowds than in summer. The water’s too cold, so celebrate the sand. Choose a spot near a volleyball court and pack a ball or even badminton rackets and birdies to lob over the net. Any number of players works and the rules are TBD. Bring a Frisbee, football and paddleball set to keep the activities rolling. Pack a lunch and make a day of it.

Try a neighborhood park fitness zone. Outdoor Fitness Zones can be found in more than 60 L.A. parks. They offer free access to gym-quality exercise equipment for all fitness levels so families can work out side by side. At the North Hollywood Recreation Center (11430 Chandler Blvd.) you can walk or jog around the track, but don’t miss what’s in the middle! There’s a fitness center with machines for all the core-building moves: push-ups, sit-ups, dips, ellipticals and bikes. There’s no way any family member is going to get bored here. It can be a great way for parents to introduce the kids to bodyweight moves, or a fun way to make a change from the usual routine. Put together a combination of activities to follow as a circuit and have a different family member create a new one every time for an ever-changing challenge. Find more Outdoor Fitness Zones at laparks.org.

Take the stairs. Whether they take them one at a time or two, kids love the challenge of leaping upward and onward. One epic option is to climb 282 stairs to the Baldwin Hills Scenic Overlook (6300 Hetzler Rd., Culver City). These stairs are a popular place to step after work and on weekends, but if you go during off hours, it will be less crowded and more than worth the workout. Several hiking trails begin at the top of the stairs, where you will enjoy amazing 360-degree city views. Be sure to tour the visitor’s center to learn about the local flora and fauna as well.  The Santa Monica Stairs (699 Adelaide Dr., Santa Monica) promise a crowd, but the two sets of stairs, 170 wooden steps and 199 cement steps, will not disappoint. The wooden stairs climb straight up and are wider across to allow walking side by side. The cement stairs, which wind back and forth, are a bit narrower.

Take it to the mat. There’s more to being active than just cardio! For building strength and flexibility, try yoga. Runyon Canyon Yoga (2001 N. Fuller Ave., L.A.) offers free yoga classes for all ages and skill levels in a beautiful outdoor setting. This might be the entryway for you and your family members to learn something totally new. The slow, mindful tempo could be the best next step after a challenging hike the week before. Donations of $5 to $15 per class are welcome, and you’ll want to bring a yoga mat, water and sunscreen.

Lori Zanteson is an active mom of three who writes frequently for L.A. Parent.

Mommy-and-Me Groups Offer Friendship and Support

Published

By Sarika Chawla

mommy and me groups

A franchise comprised of Stroller Strides and Stroller Barre, which involve the kids, as well as the child-free Body Back program and prenatal workouts, Fit4Moms can be found all over Los Angeles. PHOTO COURTESY FIT4MOMS

When my son was an infant, I sought out a therapist.

“I need someone straightforward to talk to about new baby/marriage/work stress,” I explained when asking a counselor friend for a recommendation.

I told her my son was 4 months old and she responded with great empathy, “Oh, you’re right in the middle of it.”

“It,” as I was to learn, is that period when your child’s needs are all-encompassing but you’re no longer shrouded in the bubble of being at home all the time.  At 4 months, when your baby is no longer a scrawny newborn, you’re equipped to re-enter society (and, in many cases, are already back at work), but your quality of life continues to be dictated by a tiny person’s sleep cycles and moods. Parenthood is an emotional landmine and, as your child gets older, you’re responsible for navigating it without exploding.

I saw a lovely therapist for a few weeks but felt like I was going in the wrong direction. I didn’t necessarily want to talk about the challenges of being a new parent. I wanted to solve them.

I sought advice from members of the Booby Brigade, a long-running Yahoo! listserv of L.A.-area moms. Ultimately, I swapped my therapy sessions for a mommy-and-me class at A Mother’s Haven.

At the little shop in Encino, new parents can purchase baby gear, rent breast pumps and attend a number of baby-centric classes, from prenatal to preschool. My group, led by Synthia Praglin, was geared toward working moms and met every other weekend. We sang songs, played baby games and got advice on topics such as pumping breast milk during the day and managing work guilt. But perhaps most importantly, we talked freely about ourselves and the issues we were facing at the moment.

“With so many more women returning to the work force, I find a strong desire to talk about the conflicts and finding balance,” explains Praglin, a certified parent educator with a master’s degree in child development, who has been leading groups for more than 14 years.

While the tips I learned in class helped me navigate those tricky weeks of sleep training and introducing solids, the real takeaway was less about education and more about support. At the moment in time I needed it the most, I had a tribe of women who knew exactly what I was going through.

For many people, these support groups are an introduction to socializing as parents, which is a different dynamic than pre-parenting friendships. At Rinaldi Mommy and Me in Granada Hills, sessions are an impressive two and a half hours long to accommodate both, with playtime for the kids while the adults can socialize casually, followed by 30 to 40 minutes dedicated to parenting discussions.

If nothing else, parenting offers incredible common ground that creates connections among people who might never have met otherwise. “Currently, I have a rocket scientist, a neurosurgeon, nurses and stay-at-home moms, and it doesn’t matter what anyone does. They’re all there for their kids and they all  have the same questions,” says Rinaldi co-owner Valerie Beck.

At the Pump Station & Nurtury, which has locations in Hollywood and Santa Monica, you’ll find clusters of women hanging out with their babies in slings, chatting about everything from breastfeeding to elimination communication.

“The Pump Station was a complete lifesaver for me,” says Rebecca Ricci, who attended her first class when her daughter, now 3, was a few months old. “I felt isolated and the class was a place I could relate to other women. I could be more present in the journey of becoming a mom.”

Ricci, a licensed marriage and family therapist who has since become a Pump Station instructor, says she has remained close friends with women from her group. Though they no longer meet formally for support, they continue to bond over moms nights out and late-night texts to deal with the latest parenting angst. “It became more than that class for me. It became a community that blossomed to more than I could have hoped for,” Ricci says.

That sense of community is a huge missing link for many women these days. With the availability of trusted books, online communities and Google, information about basic child rearing is more accessible than ever. But real-life connections with experts and other parents offer benefits that you can’t get from reading – including experience and wisdom that’s shared organically.

“It takes a village to raise children,” says Alex Asal Yedidsion, founder of Momability (www.momability.net) which offers parenting classes throughout Los Angeles. “Historically, we used to live in close proximity to our mothers or sisters, and whatever questions we had or advice we needed, we always had someone to turn to.”

Yedidsion leads classes in schools and in private groups, pointing out that for many parents, even the act of getting out of the house to meet with other adults is an accomplishment. Private home sessions of six to eight weeks run the gamut from sleep training infants to managing toddler tantrums, with advice tailored toward women’s personal situations and home environments.

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At The Pump Station & Nurtury, clusters of women hang out with their babies in slings, chatting about everything from breastfeeding to elimination communication. PHOTO COURTESY THE PUMP STATION & NURTURY

Her number-one piece of advice: “Don’t be afraid to ask for help. We’re inundated with images of supermoms, and that doesn’t exist. Any supermom has a good set of resources behind her, whether it’s a supportive husband, siblings, caretakers or friends.”

Of course, finding lifelong friends through these groups isn’t a guarantee. My group at A Mother’s Haven led to a few play dates and several Facebook friends but only one solid friendship that has lasted over the years.

Cathryn Krantz Benner, a West L.A. photographer and mom of two, tried several programs before finding her tribe. After taking classes with Jill Spivak at Sleepy Planet (www.sleepyplanet.com), she joined a group that has now been running strong for nearly six years. Spivak created this particular group after fielding requests from clients looking for a group that lasted beyond the baby stage.

“It’s a mom group led by a licensed therapist, and it’s literally life changing. It has made me the best parent I can be,” says Benner. She points out that having a scheduled session each week lends accountability that has encouraged her group to be so committed and dedicated for all these years.

Then there are those who crave community but don’t necessarily want to talk about parenting each week. When I turned to the LA Mommies Facebook group for recommendations, a resounding number of women raved about their local Fit4Moms programs.

“A game changer for moms!” “I don’t know what I would have done without these ladies!” “It is the single greatest group I have joined,” were among the many comments.

A franchise comprised of Stroller Strides and Stroller Barre, which involve the kids, as well as the child-free Body Back program and prenatal workouts, Fit4Moms can be found all over Los Angeles. Many women report attending the exercise-meets-support groups for years, not just weeks or months.

Roxy Jimenez, who owns Fit4Moms Los Angeles in the Miracle Mile area, recalls how she first heard about the program. “I bought a Living Social deal when I was six months pregnant, and the deal was about to expire when my daughter was 10 weeks old,” she says. “The classes were amazing, the people were amazing. I wasn’t alone in this journey of motherhood and I fell in love with that.”

When Jimenez had the opportunity to purchase the franchise, she jumped at it, and now works out regularly with mothers of children who are usually about 2 months old to preschool age. Participants benefit from endorphin-boosting workouts and also participate in playgroups and moms’ nights out to foster deeper, long-term friendships.

Wherever you find them, and however long you stay, connecting with a group of like-minded parents can make all the difference in helping you navigate the parenting road ahead.

Finding Your Tribe

In Southern California, we have the luxury of selecting from a variety of classes that suit different parenting styles, budgets and schedules. But information about these groups is usually shared through word of mouth, which can be difficult when your parenting network is still limited. Here are some tips to get you started:

Look for your local chapter of the international MOMS Club. These location-based groups tend to be geared toward at-home moms, but they are low-cost and a good place to start building your community.

Join local Facebook groups and Meetup groups. They’re free and you can instantly reach a community of like-minded women who can offer personally vetted recommendations.

Look for support groups offered in hospitals, departments of parks and recreation, and the YMCA.

Preschools often offer infant and toddler programs. You’ll get a feel for the school and, in some cases, get preference on admission.

Doulas, therapists and prenatal yoga instructors may also have recommendations or private classes available.

A Few Local Resources 

These programs have been recommended personally by mothers from all around Los Angeles.

Babies First Class, Sherman Oaks, www.babiesfirstclass.com

Baby Boot Camp, several locations, www.babybootcamp.com

Babygroup, Santa Monica, www.babygroup.me

Bini Birth, Sherman Oaks, www.binibirth.com

Burbank Parent Education Program, Burbank, burbankparented.org

Fit4Moms, several locations, fit4mom.com

MomAbility, several locations and in-home, www.momability.net 

A Mother’s Haven, Encino, shopthehaven.com

New Beginnings at the Nest, Hermosa Beach, www.newbeginningsatthenest.com

PlayCreations Kids, Westwood and in-home, www.playcreationskids.com

The Pump Station & Nurtury, Hollywood and Santa Monica, www.pumpstation.com

Rinaldi Mommy and Me, Granada Hills, www.rinaldimommyandme.com

Sleepy Planet Parenting, several locations, www.sleepyplanet.com 

The Wright Mommy and Me, Santa Monica and Sherman Oaks, wrightmommy.com 

Sarika Chawla is an L.A.-based writer, editor and mom of two.

Giving Your Child The Power to Say No

Published

By Donna Tetreault

parenting

At UCLA Lab School, students learn to be self-advocates through classroom activities and everyday interactions. PHOTO COURTESY UCLA LAB SCHOOL

The weekend was winding down and the four of us headed out for a Sunday matinee. We all decided on “Miracles from Heaven,” rated PG. It’s a story about a 10-year-old girl who has a rare, incurable disease. The mother becomes a fierce advocate for her daughter and the film eventually ends with the young girl recovering from her illness, in what can only be described as a miracle.

But we never got to see the miracle. About a third of the way through the movie, my oldest son, Jackson, who’s 8, tugged on my arm and said he wanted to leave. I whispered to him, “Why? What’s wrong?”

“I just can’t watch this. I want to go now,” he explained. I didn’t understand. Why was this such a big deal? He knows it ends in a miracle. He got up and walked out of the theater. I followed. My husband, Andrew, and my other son, Asher, remained in the theater. I did everything in my power to talk Jackson into going back in. He wouldn’t budge. After a few minutes of sitting with him outside the theater, I told him I would wait with him until the end of the movie. Just as we started to settle in, Andrew rushed out with Asher and tried to convince Jackson it would be OK. Jackson was adamant. He wouldn’t go back. He said it was “too scary.”

We all finally decided to leave. My husband, being the frugal one, went to explain our predicament to the ticket takers and we ended up getting a refund. On our way out, Jackson was quiet. Andrew and Asher quickly started talking sports. I took Jackson’s hand and smiled at him. I stayed quiet too. Then, just as we were about to get into the car, Jackson said to me, “Mommy, thank you. I feel respected.”

Wow, I thought to myself. What a lesson! At that moment I knew I needed to practice this more often. I had to allow my kids to say “no” to me when they needed to and when appropriate, even if it’s uncomfortable or inconvenient. I know this will teach them more than I can imagine. The power of “no” is a gift.

parenting

Actress and mom of two Lesley Boone learned to let her “not very sporty” son say “no” after three unhappy soccer practices. PHOTO COURTESY LESLEY BOONE

“It allows children to learn to advocate for themselves,” says Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., L.A.-based clinical psychologist and author. “It can keep them safe. They learn to say ‘no’ to peer pressure around drugs, sex or other potentially risky behavior, to develop their sense of self and to learn to appropriately voice a preference.” She adds, however, that parents do need to teach their kids the proper time and place. “Saying ‘no’ to the history test probably won’t work, so this isn’t about entitlement or acting out, but rather about self-advocacy,” she says.

This concept is in practice every day at UCLA Lab School, the laboratory school of the UCLA Graduate School of Education and Information Studies. It’s on UCLA’s main Westwood campus and serves students ages from 4-12. The school has a Safe School, research-based philosophy that is all about empowering children, teaching them to be problem solvers, inclusive and self-advocates.

Laurie A. Nimmo-Ramirez is the Safe School demonstration teacher and she says they begin this work with children at age 4 and continue as students get older through role play and classroom projects. “We work to keep the language around telling someone to stop or ‘no’ current and age-appropriate,” she says. “As students mature, we are more thoughtful about how to address issues around peer pressure and exiting a situation. We also know that as students get older they are not as willing to come to an adult for help. We need to give them the tools to say ‘no’ independently and with confidence.” Nimmo-Ramirez says that her predecessor Ava de La Sota, who led the development of the Safe School approach, used to always say, “If they can’t exit cool, they won’t exit.” Teachers at the school work to provide students with opportunities to practice these strategies in realistic scenarios.

In addition to teaching these strategies in the classroom, UCLA Lab School also uses actual conflicts that occur between students every day as opportunities for students to practice and discuss the strategies they have been taught. “We identify the strategies they used (or didn’t use) and how the choices they made either helped or escalated the problem,” says Ramirez. “We work to ‘unpack’ the situation so we can talk about how things could be handled differently by making different choices next time. Many times, these conversations (we call them mediations) include discussions about standing up for yourself, saying, “Stop it!” and, when necessary, exiting a situation.”

parenting

Writer Donna Tetreault, pictured here with husband, Andrew, and sons Jackson and Asher, has decided to give her kids the power of “no.” PHOTO COURTESY DONNA TETREAULT

Lesley Boone, an actress and mother of two young children, describes her 6-year-old son, Lucas, as “not very sporty.” He’s that kid who creates and builds. Give him some LEGOS and it’s amazing what he can come up with. All of his friends, though, play in every sports league imaginable. Boone says that when soccer season was on the horizon, she remembers the long email threads the “sporty boys” moms were exchanging. She felt pressure to sign Lucas up – and ultimately did, to keep Lucas from feeling left out.

So how’d it go? “I told him I’d signed him up for soccer,” Boone says. “He was very adamant that he didn’t want to play, but I ignored him. When we went to buy all the gear, he cried, but I ignored him. When we got to the first practice, he was very clingy and had no interest, but I pushed him. I finally realized after three practices that I was doing this for me, not him.” When, after that third practice, Boone finally asked Lucas whether he wanted to play, he answered with a resounding “no.” “He explained to me why he felt this way. I finally heard him,” she says. This is when Boone realized her son deserved his own voice.

As a clinical psychologist, Durvasula says she sees adults – especially women – who struggle to say “no” in their everyday lives. “People are often afraid of disappointing other people, especially in the workplace, and can exhaust themselves in the process of saying ‘yes’ to demanding partners, demanding co-workers, demanding family and demanding friends,” says Durvasula. “Life is about choices, and when we learn to say ‘no’ at a younger age, we may be in a better position to execute the ‘power of no’ in a more consistent way as adults.”

I admit, I am one of those adults who struggles with saying “no.” But now I see the benefits for my children and am reminded that I am their role model. If they see me say “no,” when appropriate, hopefully they will follow my lead and learn how to say “no” with conviction and confidence as they grow and experience the world on their own.

Donna Tetreault is Parenting Contributor at FOX 11. She is also a contributor for The Insider, the ‘Parents’ Guide’ on CBS and a Huffington Post blogger. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband, Andrew, and their two young sons.

Protecting Adolescents’ Mental Health with Screenings

Published

With Alan Nager, M.D., M.H.A. 

Doc Talk: Tips & Advice 

kids mental health

Many adolescents struggle with mental health issues, and emergency departments and pediatricians’ offices can help. PHOTO BY CATHY SNIDER/FREEDIGITALIMAGES.COM

If your child is 12 or older and you visit the Emergency Department at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles with a medical issue, you’ll likely be asked to leave the room for 2-3 minutes so the doctor can administer a mental-health screening. Dr. Alan Nager shares about the program he created.

When and why did you begin these screenings?

About four years ago. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests emergency departments and pediatricians’ offices conduct them.

Adolescents are at greatest risk for mental health issues. Depression in girls ages 12-15 has tripled in the last 10-15 years and approximately 20 percent of 9-17-year-olds have a diagnosable mental or addictive disorder. And if you leave these issues untreated, they get worse.

How do parents react?

Most are OK with it. A lot of parents deal with levels of impairment and think their kids will outgrow it. Some have been noticing symptoms for years, but think it is just normal adolescent behavior. Everyone knows adolescents are challenging because they are independent, curious, mischievous and risk taking. They are also secretive, and this makes it difficult for parents to know when there is a problem.

What are the questions about?

There are 10 yes-or-no questions. We ask about drinking and drug use, feelings of depression and anxiety, physical and sexual abuse, suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming others, bullying and domestic violence, among other issues. If a child answers “yes” to one of our questions, we bring in a social worker to talk with them and connect the family with help.

What types of issues have you uncovered?

In our study of 1,000 patients, 34 percent reported feeling depressed, 20 percent reported anxiety and 6 percent reported suicidal thoughts or thoughts of hurting themselves or others. We also had kids tell us about bullying, physical and sexual abuse.

If we addressed mental health in the same way we address physical health, we would catch these issues much sooner. Parents with concerns should contact their pediatricians about mental-health screening for their kids.

Alan L. Nager, M.D., M.H.A., has been Director of Emergency and Transport Medicine at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles for 18 years, and is a professor of Pediatrics at the Keck School of Medicine of the University of Southern California.

ON THE RECORD: Parenting at Dinner Time: From Chaos to Calm

Published

By Daniella Guzman

parentingAs we start a new year, we often think about what we can do better and differently. At the top of my list is my chaotic, loud and frustrating dinner time with a toddler and a baby. It often includes meltdowns, whining, getting up and down hundreds of times and me repeating the lyrics to the hit song, “Sit Down and Eat.” My husband and I are on a mission to make dinner time more calm, efficient and enjoyable.

Dinner can be a difficult time because we’re usually finishing homework, clearing out backpacks, planning the next day’s schedule and trying to capture the day at school, which often causes us to rush. A well-structured routine helps the kids know what to expect and can be more manageable for my husband and me.

Preparing dinner throughout the day or in advance has helped me with the workload. Before I head out to work at 1:30 a.m., I pull something out of the freezer to thaw. After lunch, I start chopping and marinating. I basically have everything ready to go so all I have to do is assemble and cook dinner. Lots of my friends use their slow cookers.

Finding an activity for the kids to do while I cook is something I’m still trying to perfect. Usually, my 1-year-old, Olivia, wants all my attention. She clings to me and cries until I pick her up while my 5-year-old, Sofia, is jumping on the sofa, also asking for attention. I often keep Sofia busy by suggesting she color or play in the backyard, but baby Olivia and I struggle to balance cooking with giving her the attention she desires. Sometimes Sofia helps and plays with Olivia while I get dinner on the table.

Getting everyone to the table once dinner is served is just as challenging. I’m considering using the old-fashioned dinner bell. The idea of everyone dropping what they’re doing and running to the table with a little ring sounds fun, and each family member can take turns ringing the bell.

Clearing the kitchen of toys, books and anything that can be distracting during dinner has made a huge difference at my house. We play relaxing music and stick to our “no toys or electronics at the dinner table” rule. This goes for parents, too.

Another strategy to speed things up: setting an alarm to help with boundaries. My husband and I used to spend more than an hour begging our toddler to sit and eat while she stalls by getting up from her chair and running around to “show us something.” We now set a one-hour time frame to finish dinner as a family. Those not finished with dinner on time have their leftover dinner for breakfast. Though it may seem harsh, it influenced Sofia a great deal because she really likes breakfast food. I also try to minimize chaos by making dinner time as predictable as possible. I repeat expectations such as, “Dinner will be ready in 5 minutes, start making your way to the table please,” and, “We are all going to sit down and not get up until we are done eating,” out loud. I give my children a friendly 15-minute advance notice so everyone knows dinner is about to wrap up.

What works for my family may not work for everyone, but there’s no doubt that it’s worth finding ways to make dinner enjoyable for everyone.

I’d like to hear what your family’s dinner routine looks like. What works well for you and your kids? Let me know your thoughts on social media @DaniellaNBCLA

Daniella Guzman is the anchor on NBC4 Southern California’s “Today in LA” weekday morning newscast, 4:30-7 a.m. A mother of two, Daniella’s column, “On the Record,” brings her views on parenting, fun family activities and her take on work-life balance. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Tween Time With Author Greg Pincus

Published

By Michael Berick

los angeles events

Local writer Greg Pincus will have a book release event at Children’s Book World Jan. 7. PHOTO COURTESY GREG PINCUS

Did you know California once had a law that banned homework? Don’t worry, parents, it was repealed more than a century ago. This obscure law, however, did serve as an inspiration for Greg Pincus’ new middle-grade book, “Homework Strike.”

Pincus has brought back Gregory K., the main character from his last book, “The 14 Fibs Of Gregory K.,” and now has Gregory struggling with the trials and tribulations of life in seventh grade – in particular, the amount of homework. He is especially upset because the excess homework is preventing him from doing things that he loves – such as writing – so he decides to stage a homework strike.

Kids will obviously relate to the homework strike idea, but the local author says the book also taps into how tweens “want their voices to be heard [and to] get some control in his life.” “Homework Strike” certainly tells a humorous tale, but Pincus also touches on more serious themes, including civil disobedience, and even slips in some American history lessons.

“Homework Strike” comes out from Arthur A. Levine Books Jan. 3 and Children’s Book World (10580 ½ Pico Blvd., L.A.; www.childrensbookworld.com) will host a book launch event at 2:30 p.m. Jan. 7.

 

This Mom Wants to Clear the Air

Published

By Christina Elston

air quality

Lizette Hernandez wants all L.A. parents to join her fight for cleaner air for her son, Kimani, and all California kids. PHOTO COURTESY LIZETTE HERNANDEZ

Lizette Hernandez takes clean air personally. She has rushed her son, Kimani, to the hospital in the middle of the night because he couldn’t breathe. And she works to keep his asthma controlled with medication and nebulizer treatments.

“Kids are among the most vulnerable to air pollution,” says Hernandez, who is Southern California lead organizer for the Sierra Club’s My Generation program. Studies show pollution impacts children’s lungs, brain development and quality of life, causing them to miss school and other activities. “I’ve seen that with my son,” Hernandez continues, adding parents caring for a child with asthma also miss days of work, and that even the child’s teachers are impacted. “The teachers are triage nurses as well.”

Hernandez has also seen firsthand how kids’ breathing improves along with air quality. Shortly after her son was diagnosed with asthma at age 3, she took him to Portland, Ore., on vacation. He had no trouble with his asthma there, and his condition improved greatly when they moved from their South Los Angeles home to live on the Westside.

Hernandez and Kimani, now 9, are back in South L.A., and Hernandez points out that air quality throughout the region – but especially in inner-city areas – has declined. In August, the Los Angeles Times reported that ozone in the area had reached levels not seen since 2009, exceeding federal limits more often than not. “Between July and August of last year, there were only two days that had safe air to breathe,” Hernandez says. “That’s unacceptable.”

And that’s where My Generation comes in. The focus of the campaign is to convince the South Coast Air Quality Management District (SCAQMD), the agency responsible for pollution control in Orange County and urban L.A., Riverside and San Bernardino counties, to help move the state away from fossil fuels and toward generating 100 percent of its power through clean energy such as wind and solar.

My Generation calls on residents – especially parents – to attend community forums, write letters to officials and testify at public hearings. They especially want to hear from people who struggle with respiratory issues. “We can find a way to express their story and deliver it to the people who need to hear,” Hernandez says.

A crucial time for the public to share is at a Feb. 3 public hearing about the SCAQMD’s proposed 2016 Air Quality Management Plan. The plan has been criticized by the Sierra Club and other environmental groups as being too soft on major polluters and sacrificing air quality regulation in the interest of business.

“The AQMD needs to prioritize public health over polluters’ profits,” says Hernandez. “We do not want to live another year where practically every day in the summer is full of dirty air.”

To learn more about the My Generation campaign, visit www.sierraclub.org/my-generation or email Hernandez at lizette.hernandez@sierracub.org.

Find Big Family Fun on California Farms

Published

By Christina Elston

california farms

Erin Mahoney Harris’ 10-year-old son West greets the well-fed pigs at Tara Firma Farms in Petaluma. PHOTO BY ERIN MAHONEY HARRIS

When Erin Mahoney Harris became a mom 10 years ago, she found herself becoming more and more interested in where her family’s food came from. That led to a passion for gardening – a challenge in her urban L.A. environment.

She and her growing family moved to Santa Monica, where Harris built up an extensive vegetable garden in containers and pots. And she began taking her family to visit local farms. “It started out as something we did for fun,” she says. But for Harris, a frequent contributor to L.A. Parent and author of the popular book “Walking L.A.: 38 Walking Tours Exploring Stairways, Streets and Buildings You Never Knew Existed,” things didn’t stop there.

She contacted her publisher with an idea for a book about California farms, “so I could become, in a sense, a professional farm tourist.” The fruit of those labors, “Visit California Farms,” came out from Wilderness Press in June. california farms

Harris points out that though California is the nation’s top agricultural producer, only a small percentage of farms in the state are open to the public. Her book focuses on small, family-owned farms that offer tours, hands-on workshops and farm stays. There are 41 detailed profiles of farms in Northern California, the San Francisco Bay Area, Central California and Southern California. Harris also includes brief listings for several additional farms in each part of the state.

One of her favorite discoveries is Full House Farm in the Sonoma Valley, which offers stays in the guest house or on-site cottage, the chance to harvest your own food from the garden, and opportunities to tour the farm and feed the animals – all with a view of redwood-covered hillsides. “It’s just so beautiful,” Harris says.

For a more local getaway, head to San Luis Obispo county and Rinconada Dairy, where you can stay in the main house or a private apartment in the barn, meet and learn about the sheep and goats and taste the dairy’s renowned homemade cheeses. “That was our first farm stay and what basically sparked the idea for this book,” Harris says.

Rather not stay over? Amy’s Farm in Ontario and Primal Pastures in Murietta are Harris’ top picks. “[Primal Pastures has] just the cutest farm animals of anywhere that I’ve visited,” she says.

The book is a chance to get to know some of the loveliest parts of our state, to meet and support some of the folks dedicated to feeding us, and to teach your children a bit about where food comes from – a lesson that will feed a lifetime of adventures.

Pregnancy Is a Great Time For a Massage

Published

By Karen G. Hardison, LMBT

pregnancy massage in la

Massage can help address some of the normal aches and pains of pregnancy. PHOTO COURTESY LARCHMONT SANCTUARY SPA

Pregnancy is a time of great joy and excitement. It’s also a time of many physical, mental and emotional changes for a woman. Some of these changes, such as a growing belly and hormonal shifts, can create discomfort for the mother-to-be. Getting massages during and after pregnancy can help to alleviate some of these discomforts by relaxing tense muscles, increasing circulation and soothing the nervous system.

During pregnancy, many women experience aches and pains in their hips, lower backs, legs and feet due to the added weight of their growing baby and some women experience tension headaches due to stress and hormonal changes.

Studies have shown that by relaxing tense muscles, massage can:

  • reduce soreness
  • ease tension headaches
  • reduce joint pain
  • reduce sciatic nerve pain
  • reduce and eliminate back pain

Studies have also shown that by increasing the circulation of the blood and lymph systems, massage can help reduce swelling/edema and lower blood pressure while strengthening the immune system.

Additionally, the soothing strokes used in pregnancy massage are calming to the nervous system and have been shown to improve sleep quality, which is often an issue during and after pregnancy. Many pregnant women suffer from sleep issues due to discomfort and frequent urination during the night. After the baby is born women have interrupted sleep from frequent feedings. Massage therapy can be helpful to the mother after the baby is born by soothing the nervous system, helping to reduce stress and improving sleep.

It is important that pregnant women find a therapist who is trained in pregnancy/prenatal massage and knows how to correctly position the mother-to-be (on her side or propped up with a wedge or reclining table after 22 weeks) and what areas to avoid during the massage (acupressure/reflex points on the hands and ankles). Massage should be avoided in high-risk pregnancies and in cases of diabetes, thrombosis/blood clots, cramping or vaginal bleeding. Healthy pregnant women can receive relaxing Swedish-style massage therapy from the third trimester of pregnancy until the birth of their child with the approval of their healthcare provider.

The American Pregnancy Association asserts that modern investigation and research has shown that prenatal massage therapy can be an instrumental ingredient in women’s prenatal care and should be given careful consideration. It also states that the benefits of massage can improve overall prenatal health for many pregnant women. Along with the guidance and advice of a prenatal care provider, massage therapy can be incorporated into routine prenatal care as an emotional and physical health supplement shown to improve pregnancy outcome and maternal health. Consult with your midwife or obstetrician before beginning any new therapeutic practice.

Find a licensed local therapist or therapeutic spa to set up your appointment for nurturing, relaxation and relief from sore muscles and stress!

Karen G. Hardison is a licensed massage therapist and certified in Pregnancy Massage, at Larchmont Sanctuary Spa in Los Angeles.

Family Getaway: A Picturesque Holiday Weekend in the Santa Ynez Valley

Published

By Elena Epstein

family getawayThis is the first year that both my daughters are in college, which makes the holiday time even more special. I’ve been looking forward to having our house full again since move-in day in September, so when we realized midweek that all four of us were free for the weekend, we knew we wanted to go somewhere fun together. We didn’t want to drive too far and we wanted somewhere cozy with holiday lights and good food.

We found the perfect spot — the Santa Ynez Valley. With less than a two-hour drive from L.A., we reached our family weekend escape nestled amid the majestic Santa Ynez and San Rafael Mountains. As we drove along roads dotted with chaparral and oak trees and past acres of vineyards, we felt like we were transported to another world.

There is something so charming about being in the Santa Ynez Valley during this time of year. The vast landscape of vineyards is speckled with rich red, orange and gold, the weather is sunny but brisk and the quaint antique shops, boutiques and restaurants are aglow with holiday lights and decorations.

Our first stop was the enchanting town of Los Olivos, which centers around an iconic flagpole. You’ll find Victorian homes, adorable shops and restaurants, horse trails, lavender farms, orchards and vineyards.

We drove through the countryside and visited a few vineyards including Firestone Vineyard (www.firestonewine.com) and Fess Parker Winery & Vineyard (www.fessparker.com ). What’s great about these vineyards is that they are all family-friendly. In addition to wine tasting, the grounds are spectacular and perfect for a family picnic. Some wineries also offer books and toys for kids, as well as juice boxes and lawn games.

We then headed to Solvang. It had been many years since I visited this Santa Barbara County town founded by Danish Americans. I was pleasantly surprised to find hip new restaurants, wine tasting rooms and inns among the traditional and still-sweet windmills, turrets, cupolas, bakeries and souvenir shops. We stayed at a cute little inn right at the heart of Solvang. The Hamlet Inn (www.thehamletinn.com) is walking distance to all the restaurants and shops in town. We also took one of their free bikes for a spin around town.

Just down the street is the Landsby (www.thelandsby.com) a new boutique hotel with lots of contemporary charm. We ducked into its white-walled lobby decorated with twinkling lights after dinner to warm up with a cup of hot chocolate. As we heard one of our favorite holiday songs, “Baby It’s Cold Outside,” we felt like we had walked into a magical storybook for the weekend.

As we headed home on Sunday afternoon after having our traditional Danish pancakes, gourmet chocolates and buying a bottle of wine from a local vineyard, I was reminded again why I love living in L.A. There is so much to see and do within a short drive. The Santa Ynez Valley with it’s six communities of Ballard, Buellton, Los Alamos, Los Olivos, Santa Ynez, and Solvang gave us that perfect change of pace we all needed—rustic charm, gorgeous scenery, good food, quaint shops and most importantly a chance for us to connect and make family memories.

For more information on the Santa Ynez valley, visit www.visitsyv.com.

Parents Spend More Than Nine Hours a Day with Screen Media

Published

Submitted by Common Sense Media

parentingA first-of-its-kind study released this month by Common Sense Media shows that parents spend more than nine hours (9:22) a day with screen media, the vast majority of that time being spent with personal media (7:43) and only slightly more than 90 minutes devoted to work media. The vast majority of these parents (78%) believe they are good media-use role models for their kids. Meanwhile, many parents are concerned about their children’s media use, including thinking that their children may become addicted to technology (56%) and that technology use negatively impacts their children’s sleep (34%).

“These findings are fascinating because parents are using media for entertainment just as much as their kids, yet they express concerns about their kids’ media use while also believing that they are good role models for their kids,” says James P. Steyer, founder and CEO of Common Sense. “Media can add a lot of value to relationships, education, and development, and parents clearly see the benefits, but if they are concerned about too much media in their kids’ lives, it might be time to reassess their own behavior so that they can truly set the example they want for their kids.”

The study, the Common Sense Census: Plugged-In Parents of Tweens and Teens, finds significant differences in media use by population. Nearly two-thirds of Hispanic and African-American parents (66% and 65%, respectively) are highly aware of the content their children see or hear when using media, compared to half of white parents (51%). Hispanic parents are also more concerned about technology addiction (63% vs. 55%) and the impact of technology on their children’s sleep (43% vs. 30%).

“Latino parents use more media, are more engaged in children’s media use, and are two to three times more concerned about their children being online,” says Maria Alvarez, director of Latino content and outreach at Common Sense. “Common Sense has developed excellent tools and resources to help parents and communities address these concerns in a way that helps kids get the most out of technology while avoiding the perils.”

Other key findings:

  • SOCIAL MEDIA: 50% of parents believe that social media hurts children’s physical activity.
  • INTERNET USE: Parents are “moderately” or “extremely” worried about kids spending too much time online (43%), over-sharing personal details (38%), accessing online pornography (36%), and being exposed to violent images or videos (36%).
  • MONITORING KIDS: Two-thirds (67%) of parents say that monitoring media use is more important than respecting their children’s privacy.
  • RULES: A majority of parents report that mobile devices are not allowed during family meals (78%) or bedtime (63%).
  • ETHNICITY: African-American parents (10:37) spend about an hour and a half more with personal screen media than Hispanic parents (8:52), who spend about two and a half hours more with personal screen media than white parents (6:38).
  • INCOME: Parents from lower-income households spend more time with personal screen media (9:15) than middle-income parents (7:42), who spend more time than higher-income parents (6:41).
  • EDUCATION: Parents with a high school degree or less spend the most time with personal screen media (9:03), as compared with parents with at least some college (7:41), who spend more time than parents with an undergraduate degree or higher (6:10).
  • POSITIVE VIEWS: Parents largely have positive attitudes about the role of technology in supporting their children’s schoolwork and education (94%), acquisition of new skills (88%), and preparation for 21st-century jobs (89%).

Common Sense recently launched a multiyear national media campaign to encourage families to stop using mobile devices during family meals. Thousands of people have taken the #DeviceFreeDinner (#CenarSinCelular) challenge, and new ads are being unveiled this holiday season when families spend more quality time around the table. In addition, Common Sense Education’s Digital Citizenship Curriculum, which provides educators with lesson plans on subjects including privacy, media literacy, and cyberbullying, is currently being used in close to 93,000 U.S. schools. For more tools to manage media use, visit commonsense.org.

When Your Ex Text Messages Too Much

Published

By Don Schweitzer, Certified Family Law Specialist

divorce and parentingOpen communication between parents and children is always encouraged. For children whose parents are divorced, communication with parents should mimic how communication would operate if both parents were under the same roof. However, the non-custodial parent (aka the parent who does not have child custody at that given moment) should be careful not to abuse that open door.

Often times I’ll hear complaints from the parent in custody that the non-custodial parent (NCP) is constantly texting or calling to check on the child. While some situations are innocent instances of curiosity, others are intentionally intrusive, meaning the NCP is using the child’s access to text or a smartphone as a way to snoop into their ex-spouse’s life or influence the child to go against the will of the parent in custody.

On the flipside, I also often hear NCPs complain that their ex-spouse is restricting their child’s communication by ignoring phone calls or text messages, or confiscating smartphone devices from the child. There are ways to manage communication boundaries to satisfy both parents’ and the child’s needs. Here are a few tips to ensure the child’s best interest is put forward, without relinquishing the custodial parent’s time or prohibiting the NCP from communicating with the child:

  1. Agree on a set time during the afternoon or early evening when the child can initiate a 30- to 60-minute time to talk with the NCP via a phone call, Skype, FaceTime, or instant messenger. Designate a place in the house where the child could have uninterrupted one-on-one time with the NCP.
  2. Respect this time the child has with the other parent. Do not interrupt or hover over their conversation. It’s also important to note that it is illegal to record conversations without consent.
  3. Weekend schedules should be less structured with communication. However, if you feel the communication is distracting your child from an activity or meal time it’s OK to ask the child to silence or put away the smartphone, as you would if the child were texting a friend or engaging in a game or video when he or she should be in the present.
  4. Before reacting negatively to excessive communication, determine if the communication is for the better or worse. Set aside any differences you have with your ex-spouse and use your best judgement to keep in mind what is best for the child.
  5. If interruptions continue to be problematic, prepare and file a Stipulation and Order that identifies a court-enforced communication schedule.

If parents are in conflict and communication between the two is challenging or aggressive, court-monitored tools such as Our Family Wizard and Talking Parents can help facilitate conversations. These types of online/smartphone apps allow parents to plan their child’s schedule and require both parents to respond via the platform. This eliminates the negative comments or opinions that could take place during a phone call or private text message, and ensures both parents are compliant.

Many children have their own smartphones or tablets with instant messenger features that make it easy for the flow of communication between the NCP and child. Children should be able to ask the NCP even the most nagging question at any given time. However, it is the responsibility of the NCP to be respectful of the other parent’s time with the child and practice less-intrusive communication, and the responsibility of the parent in custody to ensure the child can continue to maintain healthy, open-communication with the other parent.

Don Schweitzer is Founder and Partner of the Law Offices of Donald P. Schweitzer, a Pasadena family law firm. As a Certified Family Law Specialist and former District Attorney, he has extensive background in domestic violence, divorce and child custody issues. He is an active member of the Pasadena Bar Association, the Los Angeles County Bar Association, American Bar Association, and the California State Bar. For more information, visit www.pasadenalawoffice.com .

Candace Cameron Bure: On Motherhood and her own Full House

Published

By Elena Epstein

candice cameron bure

Candace Cameron Bure, second from left, enjoys The Grove with her sons Maksim, at left, and Lev, and her daughter, Natasha. PHOTO BY ZEKE RUELAS

As a fan of ’80s family sitcoms, I loved watching Candace Cameron Bure’s TV character, D.J. Tanner on “Full House,” navigate middle- and high-school drama, struggle through her Spanish class, crush on cute boys, fight and make up with her younger sisters.  For many of us, she was the big sister we wished we had as we watched her grow up on the popular ABC show, which ran from 1987 to 1995. Once in syndication, the wholesome charm of “Full House” captured a new generation of kids – including my own daughters, who fell in love with the Tanners, Uncle Jesse and Joey. We were excited to see the characters return this year in the Netflix spinoff, “Fuller House.” I recently chatted with Cameron Bure about motherhood, growing up in L.A. and holiday family traditions.

You grew up in the Valley. What are some of your fond childhood memories and how do you enjoy L.A. now with your family?

I love it here. L.A. is one of my favorite cities in the whole world. I started working full time when I was 10. Most of my days were spent at the studios in Culver City and Burbank. But I did enjoy ice skating at the Topanga Mall, and I’m a beach girl at heart. My family would go to the beach almost every Sunday. Now, I live by the beach. We love going to Santa Monica Pier, Zuma, hike Temescal Canyon. I love being outside. Sunshine rejuvenates me. Both my boys play ice hockey, so we also spend a lot of time indoors at the rink.

How would you describe your mothering style?

Being a mom is my biggest priority. I hope my kids would say that I’m a loving mom. They would also describe me as strict. We set firm boundaries, but there is always love and grace. I’m the mom that needs to meet the parents before my kids can go to a new friend’s house. I want to know who they’re with, where they’re going. Even now that they’re driving, I want them to text me when they arrive and when they’re heading home. We work hard to keep our communication open and talk through any situation. I am always willing to listen. But, I don’t always say “yes.” My goal as a parent is not to make my kids happy, but to guide them to be respectful, curious, responsible, resilient, kind, giving and thoughtful adults.

Since taking on co-hosting “The View” more than a year ago, you’ve been traveling to New York each week. How has that affected your work/life balance?

It’s definitely a juggling act. Life is seasonal. As your kids grow up, seasons change. The first 10 years of my kids’ lives, I was out of the business and a stay-at-home mom. Then I started working part time and now I’m working full time. I fly from L.A. to New York on Sunday afternoon and then fly back home on Thursday afternoon. My kids are now older. My daughter is 18, my sons are 16 and 14 and my husband [former NHL hockey player Valeri Bure] is home during the week. Every family is different. And it’s important for us moms not to compare ourselves to anyone else. There is no right or wrong way. Accept your situation and find the joy in it.

Tell us about your family’s holiday traditions.

Our Christian faith is everything to me. We love celebrating the holidays with beautiful decorations, singing carols and leaving cookies out for Santa and carrots for his reindeers. But at the core of Christmas is the spirit of giving and sharing. For the last five years, my family and I have been volunteering at a local homeless shelter on Christmas morning. Creating a sense of community and giving back is so important and I want my kids to carry that with them.

Be On the Lookout For Choking Hazards

Published

By Alan Nager, M.D., M.H.A.

toy safetyMuch is written about toy safety this time of year, and one of the biggest toy related dangers to young children is choking or aspiration – the entry of a foreign object into the respiratory tract. But there are many things besides toys that end up stuck in kids’ throats or airways.

We have seen kids choke on gumballs, candy, wheels from toy cars, earrings and toy parts, but the number-one thing we see aspirated is coins. Here are some basic choking-prevention measures.

Read labels on toys.

Most have age recommendations, and you should follow those. But you should also use your common sense. Be especially careful of any toy with disk batteries, because these can leak acid.

Police toys and your home.

If a toy breaks, small pieces can end up within your child’s reach. In addition, things can accidentally fall onto the floor. Sweep and check the floors in your home often to make sure there are no choking hazards there.

Supervise your kids.

Whether they are playing at home or running errands with you, your children require constant watch. We have seen kids in shopping carts grab – and choke on – grapes when a parent turned to pull something off a shelf.

Learn  the signs of choking and aspiration.

These include sudden gagging, vomiting, wheezing and turning blue. If your child is choking or might have aspirated something, call 9-1-1. Do not use your fingers, tweezers or anything else to try to remove the object, as you’ll likely push it farther.

Be on the lookout for choking hazards, and take a CPR class that includes instruction in proper first-aid for choking. You could save your child’s life.

Alan L. Nager, M.D., MHA, has been Director of Emergency` and Transport Medicine at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles for the past 18 years, and is a professor of Pediatrics at the Keck School of Medicine of the University of Southern California.

What You Need to Know About Dental Sealants

Published

By Christina Elston

preventing cavitiesHave your child’s molars been sealed? The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) this fall reported that dental sealants can reduce cavities by up to 80 percent during the first two years after they are applied, by up to 50 percent for the two years after that, and continue working for as long as nine years. CDC Director Tom Frieden even proposed school-based sealant programs so that more kids would get them. Paired with fluoride applications, sealants do a good job of protecting teeth. But they won’t do the trick all by themselves.

“There are some people who like to equate either a sealant or a fluoride application with a vaccine. I don’t think that’s a good analogy,” says James Crall, chair of Public Health & Community Dentistry at the UCLA School of Dentistry. “You’re not good to go for life.” Sealants are a plastic coating bonded to the surface of the teeth as each set of a child’s molars comes in – one when the child is 5 and the other around age 12. They are applied to the chewing surfaces of the teeth, which are rough and covered with pits and fissures. “Those are the areas where bacteria tend to accumulate,” says Crall, adding that these spots are often too small for the bristles of a toothbrush to reach.

But sealants can be tricky to apply, and any moisture that comes between the tooth and the sealant material during application can keep it from bonding to the tooth. This means that the sealant should be checked during regular dental exams to make sure it is still in place. If a portion has worn away, it is easy for the dentist to reseal that portion.

Crall points out one other important thing to keep in mind about sealants: “The sealants are only protecting a portion of the tooth.” For the smooth surfaces of the teeth, fluoride treatments applied by the dentist offer good protection. And proper dental hygiene at home helps remove food and debris and keep the gums and bones that hold the teeth in place healthy. “that daily tooth brushing, particularly with a fluoride toothpaste, is really important,” Crall says.

During the early years after a child’s permanent teeth come through, the enamel isn’t mature and the child isn’t yet able to brush effectively without help. So parents need to make sure their dentist protects the teeth with sealants and fluoride, and that the child brushes carefully each day.

Be Bold and Bake Your Own Cinnamon Rolls

Published

family recipesImagine the smell of warm cinnamon rolls fresh from the oven. Now imagine waking your family on a Saturday morning with that delicious, warm aroma. Yes, you can! Gemma Stafford, creator of Gemma’s Bigger, Bolder Baking (www.biggerbolderbaking.com), is dedicated to helping home cooks bake cinnamon rolls and a variety of other tasty dishes.

“I grew up with a mom who was a fantastic cook and baker,” says Stafford, who was born in Ireland but now lives in Santa Monica. Her wonderful childhood baking memories inspired Stafford to train at Ireland’s renowned Ballymaloe Cookery School and then to travel the world as a personal chef and to work in Michelin-starred restaurants. Now her mission is “to empower people with game-changing recipes.”

That means creating recipes that don’t require special equipment or skills. “They just require you to have passion,” Stafford says. These cinnamon rolls, for instance, are made with no-knead dough so that you don’t need a mixer or bread machine.

Stafford hopes that with all the fancy equipment and hard steps out of the way, you’ll dive in and do some baking. Her site is filled with interesting and fun recipes – including microwave mug recipes that would be great to make with kids – and video. There is even a video of her baking cinnamon rolls.

To have these ready for breakfast, Stafford suggests making the dough a day or two before and forming the rolls the night before you want to serve them. Pull them out of the fridge the next morning for the final rise, bake, glaze and watch your family devour them. It’ll be a breakfast they won’t soon forget. “Baking,” Stafford says, “is a great way to create memories for your family.”

– Christina Elston

Best-Ever Cinnamon Rolls from Gemma’s Bigger, Bolder Baking

Makes 9

For the Dough: 

family recipes

Gemma Stafford PHOTO BY TEREN ODDO

3½ cups (17oz) all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons salt

3 teaspoons dried yeast

1 cup milk

½ cup water

2 large eggs

¼ cup honey

¼ cup melted butter or vegetable oil

For the Filling:

½ cup butter

1¼ cups packed light brown sugar

2½ tablespoons ground cinnamon

1 cup toasted pecans

For the Glaze:

4 oz cream cheese, at room temperature

1 cup powdered sugar

¼ cup (½ stick) butter, at room temperature

½ teaspoon vanilla extract

To make the dough, combine all of the dry ingredients in a very large bowl. In a separate bowl, combine the milk, water, honey and butter. Heat it in the microwave until it is just warm (not too hot!) and the butter has melted. Whisk in the eggs. Stir the wet ingredients into the dry to make a sticky dough. You can simply mix with a spoon until there are no flour lumps left.

Scrape down the dough from the sides of the bowl. Cover the bowl with cling wrap, drape a clean dish towel over the top and let the dough rise for 2 hours at cool room temperature. It will triple in size. After this, refrigerate the dough for at least 8 hours, preferably overnight. It can be refrigerated for up to 3 days before you use it.

When you’re ready to make your cinnamon rolls, first make the filling. Combine the butter, brown sugar and cinnamon in a bowl. Stir until smooth and set aside.

Transfer the dough to a floured work surface and roll it into a rectangle that is 9 inches wide, 22 inches long and approximately ¼ inch thick. It will be long, so you could also do two 9-by-11-inch rectangles.

Spread the filling over the dough, leaving a narrow margin around the edges uncovered. Starting with a long edge, gently roll the dough into a log. Don’t roll it too tightly or the centers of the rolls will pop up as they bake.

Slice the log into two-inch slides and set those into a 13-by-9-inch baking pan lined with parchment, with their cinnamon face up. Space the rolls evenly in the pan.

(At this point you can cover the pan and refrigerate the rolls to bake the next day if you wish.)

Cover the pan (or bring the covered pan out of the refrigerator) and allow the rolls to rise until they have grown into each other and are puffed up, about 30 minutes to 1 hour. Toward the end of the rising time, preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

Uncover the pan and bake the rolls for 40 to 45 minutes, until they’re a deep golden brown. Rotate the pan during baking so they can get golden brown all over.

While the rolls are baking, make the glaze. In a large bowl, using a whisk or a hand mixer, beat the cream cheese, butter, sugar and vanilla together until well combined.

When the rolls are done, remove the pan from the oven and let them cool 20 minutes before removing them from the pan and onto a cooling rack. Spread your cream cheese glaze generously over the cinnamon rolls and devour immediately.

L.A. Dad Adds Gift to Princess Heroes Book Series

Published

By Carolyn Richardson

children's books

The Gift of Gift is recommended for ages 5-7.

As the father of 9-year-old twin daughters, L.A. author Sanjay Nambiar is keen on writing stories that broaden the scope of how girls see themselves. “The Gift of Gift,” the second book in his Super Amazing Princess Heroes (SAPH) series, was released in November.

“Girls need role models that are just as powerful as boy role models,” says Nambiar, who says the book aims to marry the feminine side of girls that love princesses with the confidence and agency boost of having their own super powers. His first book, “The Super Duper Princess Heroes,” has Oceana, Sammie and Kinney using their super powers of flight, strength and speed to save a fallen prince.

children's books

Author Sanjay Nambiar. PHOTO COURTESY SUPER AMAZING PRINCESS HEROES

“The Gift of Gift” begins with one of the Super Amazing Princess Heroes getting sick while visiting Uganda. She is rushed back to America for surgery. Soon after she recovers, the princess heroes find out Gift, a friend they met in Uganda, is also sick. Instead of having Gift come to America to get well, they come up with a plan that will help Gift and other children who need surgery. They build a heart hospital in Uganda. The story ends with Gift becoming an SAPH and receiving the gift of healing. The book was illustrated by Sedi Pak and published by Umiya Publishing.

Inspired by the heart hospital World Children’s Initiative (WCI) built in Uganda, Nambiar partnered with the organization to help raise funds for WCI’s life-saving projects. Their first patient’s name was Gift. WCI builds healthcare and educational infrastructure for children in developing areas domestically and worldwide. Proceeds from the book are shared between SPH Media, Inc. and WCI.

The website for the SAPH series, SuperPrincessHeroes.com, is a resource for parents that promotes girl empowerment. It includes stories about real-life female heroes such as Maya Angelou, Amelia Earhart and Gong Li, and has an interactive game for young girls you can download. Princess Heroes Dress Up goes beyond typical dress-up games by taking the princess on a mission. “Before you dress up your character, you have to choose a super power… after you dress up your princess hero, you watch as your character goes on an adventure to use her super power, like saving the Eiffel Tower or saving a village from an avalanche,” says Nambiar.

“The Gift of Gift” is available in hardcover and e-book on Amazon.com and in bookstores nationwide. Watch a trailer for the Super Amazing Princess Heroes:

Small Books With a Big Mission for Multilingual Kids

Published

By Christina Elston

multilingual kids

Ariana Stein, left, and Patty Rodriguez created Lil Libros together to encourage parents to read to their babies – in English and Spanish – and share Latino culture. PHOTO COURTESY LIL LIBROS

Board books and babies just go together. But when L.A. moms Patty Rodriguez and Ariana Stein shopped for their little ones, they didn’t find any that reflected the Latino culture they grew up with. “We both knew there was something missing for our children,” says Rodriguez.

Best friends since childhood, the two worked together to create Lil Libros, a line of simple board books that teach letters, numbers, shapes and words in English and Spanish in a context Latino parents will recognize. Little ones can learn counting with artist Frida Khalo, colors with revolutionary Emiliano Zapata, and shapes with Aztec ruler Cuauhtémoc. Five other titles cover counting down, anatomy and general vocabulary.

The books, beautifully illustrated by Citlali Reyes, don’t tell whole stories, but instead are just “a seed” meant to spark a conversation between parent and child – in two languages. “Our goal is to introduce bilingualism and encourage parents to read to their children at the earliest age,” Stein says.

Rodriguez has two boys, 5-year-old Alexander and 11-month-old Oliver. Stein also has a son, 3-year-old Ethan. All enjoy reading Lil Libros. “Alexander has already come to me with ideas for books,” Rodriguez says. The two also come up with ideas in conversation about their own childhoods.

Since its 2014 launch, Lil Libros has enjoyed rapid success, and is now available in Target and Barnes & Noble stores, and on Amazon. Initially rejected by the publishing houses they approached, the two imagined it would take several years to get their creations into bookstores. “That shows the power of the community,” Rodriguez says.

She and Stein are currently busy filling the orders that have started to pour in (they promise they have plenty of inventory for the holidays!), and dreaming of the future. “Now we’re getting the respect from these big publishing houses that originally denied the idea,” Stein says. Upcoming plans include publishing new titles, and possibly inviting other authors and illustrators to join the Lil Libros family.

Learn more at www.lillibros.com.

Creating Your Own Fun Family Traditions

Published

By Daniella Guzman

parentingMany family traditions are passed down through the years and are a great way to connect the generations. For my family, I like to incorporate traditions from our childhood and create new family traditions together. I believe traditions help us focus on experiences rather than things. Here are some ideas to help you make a lifetime of memories:

Kindness or Service Elf: Our twist on “Elf on the Shelf” is more about giving than receiving. Each day, the elf leaves an act of kindness or service for the kids to do. It can be anything from making their sibling’s bed to taking a sweet treat to a neighbor.

Santa Bag: Ask your kids to choose a few of their gently used toys and put them in a Santa bag. We place the sack full of toys under our tree on Christmas Eve. Santa then takes the toys back to the North Pole (aka donation) to fix them up and deliver them to other children in need. As recognition for the kids’ goodwill, Santa then leaves new, unwrapped toys or gifts in the bag. This is a great way to teach your kids about giving while you de-clutter.

Family Meetings: I got this tip from a mommy blogger and I love it! Schedule a weekly 20-minute family “board meeting” with everyone present. You ask three questions: What worked well this week? What didn’t work well this week? What will we agree to work on in the week ahead? The idea is to help everyone be open, feel like they’re contributing and agree to certain expectations.

Themed Meals: Pick a day of the week to have the same meal. Examples: Taco Tuesday, Pizza Friday, Saturday morning pancakes or “Breakfast for Dinner.”

Birthday Privileges and Responsibilities: Birthdays are a good time to remind kids that with age comes more responsibility and new opportunities. In addition to presents, give your children two envelopes, one labeled “New Privilege” and the other labeled “New Responsibility,” with a card inside describing each. A new privilege might be to open an Instagram account or start getting a weekly allowance. A new responsibility could be a chore such as walking or feeding the dog.

Daddy/Mommy Date: My husband and I take turns taking our girls out on a monthly “date.” My husband recently took our 5-year-old, Sofia, to dinner and a game room. Another time, I took her for ice cream and we got our nails painted. It’s special because the child gets to be the center of attention.

Friday Family Funday: Every Friday is our night together, because during the week we’re consumed with school, work and other activities. Our weekends are filled with birthday parties, soccer and ballet. On Friday nights, we do something fun that brings lots of laughter. It doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive. You can make s’mores at home, go bowling, play animal charades or karaoke night at home. The important thing is that it’s a standing date with your family.

Kids Make Dinner: For us, this happens on Monday night. On Sundays, Sofia and I look through recipes to pick her dish. I’ve always dreamed about cooking with my daughter so I started this tradition in hopes she’ll fall in love with being in the kitchen. We make it pretty easy with simple ingredients, but enough for her to learn something and have fun in the kitchen.

Remember, this is not meant to stress you out or give you more work. Pick the ones that best fit your family and have fun with it. Happy memory making!

Daniella Guzman is the anchor on NBC4 Southern California’s “Today in LA” weekday morning newscast, 4:30-7 a.m. A mother of two, Daniella’s column, On the Record, brings her views on parenting, fun family activities and her take on work-life balance. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram @daniellanbcla.

Rosa’s Mud Cake From “How to Celebrate Everything”

Published

By Christina Elston

family recipesJenny Rosenstrach doesn’t just write about food. She writes about family, rituals, traditions and how food brings all that together in the most delicious way. “One ritual, family dinner, is so fundamental to the psychological health of our household that we think of it as our North Star, something worth organizing our days – maybe even our lives – around,” she writes.

Her popular blog, “Dinner: a Love Story,” is dedicated to this daily ritual of coming together as a family to share a meal. Her previous cookbook, “Dinner: The Playbook,” deconstructed the ritual of daily planning, shopping and prepping to create inspired, kid-friendly and no-fuss dinners for busy families.

In her new book, “How to Celebrate Everything,” Rosenstrach goes beyond the family dinner and covers birthdays and holidays and every day in between. Beyond the recipes though, she conveys a powerful message: We can create enduring family memories through the food we cook and share together.

Celebrations, Rosenstrach reminds us, are not just Thanksgiving and Mother’s Day, but the ordinary moments we can make special. In her house, she makes a bowl of creamy mashed potatoes after the braces get tightened and her family looks forward to digging into her deluxe nachos while watching the Super Bowl every year.

The book has more than 100 recipes and menus including “sleepover breakfast” with popovers, apple fritters and pancakes; snickerdoodles for Father’s Day and a whole section on birthdays with a planner and fun recipes such as doughnuts and ice cream cakes. Here’s a sample:

ROSA’S MUD CAKE  family recipes

Rosa’s recipe calls for a cup of brewed coffee, which will help give the cake its dark “muddy” color, but the final product won’t taste like mocha. Just really outstanding chocolate. Also, warning: The cake can be extremely delicate, so make sure you are not stingy with the butter when greasing the pan, which will help remove it without any breakage.

Makes one 9-by-13-inch sheet cake, two 9-inch layers, or 25 to 30 cupcakes 

butter, for greasing the pan

2 cups sugar

1¼ cups flour, plus more for dusting the pan

¾ cups unsweetened cocoa powder

2 teaspoons baking soda

1 teaspoon baking powder

2 large eggs

1 cup room-temperature strong black coffee (brewed, not grounds)

1 cup buttermilk

½ cup canola or vegetable oil

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

⅔ cup semisweet chocolate chips (optional)

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Grease a 9-by-13-inch sheet pan or two 9-inch round cake pans with butter and lightly flour, shaking off any excess. (See below for cupcake instructions.)

In a medium bowl, whisk together the sugar, flour, cocoa powder, baking soda and baking powder. Add the eggs, coffee, buttermilk, oil, vanilla and chocolate chips, if using. Stir until incorporated, then pour into the prepared pan. Bake for 30 to 33 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. Transfer to a wire rack and let cool in the pan for 20 to 30 minutes. Run a serrated knife along the edges until they pull away from the sides. Place a cooling rack on top of the cake and slowly, carefully invert the cake onto the rack to finish cooling.

When the cake is completely cooled, you have many options: You can top it with chocolate frosting (recipe follows); you can set the cake on a wire rack on top of a rimmed cookie sheet and pour ganache glaze on top; or, you can simply top it with freshly whipped cream or vanilla or cinnamon ice cream.

For cupcakes: Since the cake is relatively delicate, I strongly recommend using cupcake papers instead of baking the batter in greased cupcake tins. Fill to two-thirds capacity and bake at 350°F for 18 to 20 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center of one comes out clean. Top with chocolate frosting.

Chocolate Frosting

Makes 1¼ cups

½ cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature

1½ cups powdered sugar

2 ounces unsweetened chocolate, melted and cooled

1 tablespoon whole milk

½ teaspoon pure vanilla extract

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat together the butter and powdered sugar on medium speed until light and fluffy, 2 to 3 minutes. Reduce the speed to low and beat in the chocolate, milk and vanilla until the mixture reaches spreadable consistency, 1 to 2 minutes.

Enjoy Rosenstrach’s warm writing style and food inspirations in her blog http://www.dinneralovestory.com. To purchase “How to Celebrate Everything” on Amazon click here.

Choir Programs Let Kids Sing a Song

Published

By Mimi Slawoff

choir programs in la

Westside Children’s Chorus is an intimate group similar to a glee club. PHOTO COURTESY WESTSIDE CHILDREN’S CHORUS

Given the chance, most kids love to sing and lots of L.A. programs will help them tune in 

As Artistic Director Misha Shtangrud plays the piano to start a rehearsal for MUSYCA Children’s Choir, he sings, “Hello everybody, yes indeed, let’s make music, yes indeed.” His young students joyfully sing along, clearly enjoying the upbeat music and seamlessly transitioning to “Do Re Mi” and “Seasons of Love.”

The kids, ages 7-9, are part of MUSYCA’s Junior Choir, one of several youth vocal ensembles led by Shtangrud and his wife, Anna Krendel, executive director and pianist. Both hold doctorates in music education.

At just age 6, Junior Choir member Arden Reno is already a seasoned performer. “She’s done four performances and is learning to read music,” says her mom, Audra Camacho, adding that her daughter is working on a YouTube variety show video, “The Arden Show.” “She already has a few episodes.”

Most young kids love to sing, whether they’re playing, watching TV or taking a bath. “Music is pure fun and joy,” says Krendel. But somewhere along the way many of us lose the joy of singing or feel self-conscious. “The main reason kids stop singing is it’s not in their lives,”

says Amy Rolniak, a high school choir teacher and music director at San Fernando Valley Youth Chorus. Many schools have limited or cut their music programs and kids don’t view singing as part of their everyday lives. And many parents stop singing to their kids as they get older, says Rolniak. “Singing in our culture is not as prevalent as it is with many other cultures,” she explains. “I really believe that if children keep singing as they get older they would not feel so embarrassed.”

choir programs in la

The boutique San Fernando Valley Youth Chorus offers instruction in sight singing, voice control and music theory, and performs in local theaters. PHOTO BY MIMI SLAWOFF

Benefits of Singing

Besides being fun, singing reduces stress, improves posture, keeps us mentally alert and increases self-confidence. “Music makes you human, feel emotion and makes you discover your soul,” says Krendel, whose two daughters sing with MUSYCA. In addition, children who sing tend to excel academically and in their extracurricular activities. “Singing is the ultimate team activity,” says Shtangrud.

Performing with MUSYCA’s Melody group has given Alexa Pinn, 9, confidence, says her grandmother, Lori Pinn. “She was shy when she started but after a few sessions she wanted to participate in everything,” says Pinn.

Another part of the fun of vocal music is the easy access it provides to world cultures. “My kids have sung music from Persia, Brazil, Germany, France, Russia and other cultures,” says Karen Reinhard, the former director of the now unincorporated Altadena Children’s Choir, who now offers private lessons in her home studio.

At MUSYCA, Shtangrud introduces students to a repertoire of music that includes folk songs from all over the world. “It’s culture, history, part of who we are,” says Shtangrud. The content of the songs is also key. “It’s important to find music that resonates with kids. The message should be something wonderful about life,” Shtangrud says.

All Can Sing

choir programs in la

MUSYCA singers have performed in several countries, as well as on TV. PHOTO COURTESY MUSYCA

While your child may not be the next Adele, music directors agree that most people can indeed sing. “While a few children have difficulty singing on pitch, the old wives’ tale of some people being tone deaf is just a myth,” says Reinhard. “Caught early, before the age of 5 or so, the problem can be easily changed with one-on-one training.”

 

Rolniak agrees that singing in tune is a learned activity. “It is a skill, not simply a talent bestowed on a select few,” she says.

Kids benefit most from a children’s chorus where their voices can grow at their own pace, according to Diane Simons, artistic director for the South Bay Children’s Choir. “It is like growing a flower,” she says. “You can water it, feed it, give it the right sunlight and it will become a beautiful flower. Trying to push or pull it at a faster pace will not be good for the plant.”

Parents can encourage their children to sing by singing to them early on, rather than letting them hear all their music via electronics. “Sing, play music, use your voice. Kids should take a music-making class, not just listen to music,” says Shtangrud.

There are many ways to spot a child with natural singing talent. When Karen Murphy O’Brien’s son, 14-year-old Christopher, was about 5, he hummed while building sophisticated LEGO creations. “He would hum all the time, literally humming on perfect pitch,” says Murphy O’Brien, a former music teacher who played piano during both of her pregnancies. “That’s how I knew.”

But it was Christopher’s piano teacher, not his mom, who suggested he audition for the National Children’s Chorus (NCC) in Los Angeles. Christopher was 9 when he auditioned for the NCC, in its early growth phase at the time. “I was a little nervous,” he says. “But once I got there, the artistic director was friendly.”

choir programs in la

The National Children’s Chorus is among the few youth arts organizations to have its concert series presented in professional music halls. PHOTO COURTESY PRETTY INSTANT

Nasir and Nadia Azghadi believe their daughter Kiana, 8, was destined to sing (her middle name is Melody). “She loves to sing, it’s part of her nature, so we try to be as supportive as we can,” says Nasir. The Azghadis enrolled Kiana at the San Fernando Valley Youth Chorus, where she is an enthusiastic participant. “We see a side of her we haven’t seen before,” says Nadia. “She’s usually shy, but outgoing here.”

Range of Music Programs

There are many quality music programs in the Los Angeles area, from small groups that perform locally to large choruses that travel internationally. Some rehearse in neighborhood churches, others in fine music venues.

Community music programs are great for kids who prefer a low-key music experience. The boutique San Fernando Valley Youth Chorus offers instruction in sight singing, voice control and music theory, and performs in local theaters. “[Our singers] come to have fun and learn about music through singing,” says Rolniak.

Music Director Ann Pittel describes her Westside Children’s Chorus as an intimate group similar to a glee club, with kids wearing matching T-shirts when they perform at senior residences, farmers markets, hotels and other local venues. Pittel instills camaraderie by organizing social events for the kids, including a family barbecue, music-related field trips and a sleepover at the Cornerstone Music Conservatory, where rehearsals take place. The group’s stuffed-animal mascot, an owl named Dominique, makes the rounds of various singers’ homes. “I try to customize the program to the group, rather than vice versa. We do things to bond together,” says Pittel.

Students who take private lessons with Reinhard participate in monthly “master classes” in which they sing for each other and offer constructive criticism and moral support. Three recitals a year help prepare students for their annual Certificate of Merit exams.

choir programs in la

Singers in the Westside Children’s Chorus wear matching T-shirts when performing in the community, and enjoy barbecues and sleepovers. PHOTO COURTESY WESTSIDE CHILDREN’S CHORUS

Travel adds another level of enrichment. “For many kids, it’s their first time dealing with passports, currency and singing with other choirs,” says Simons, whose South Bay Children’s Choir will be performing at the Canterbury Cathedral in England this year.

 

MUSYCA’s students have performed in France, Austria and the Czech Republic, recorded in studios with international artists and appeared on TV. “How many kids can say they performed at the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards?” asks Krendel.

Also taking its show on the road is the National Children’s Chorus, among the few youth arts organizations to have its concert series presented in professional music halls. The program trains students in the Kodály Method of sight singing. “It’s a technique to turn their inherent understanding of music to written, so music becomes fluid in their minds,” says Executive Director Cristina Demiany. The program also offers a unique college-level conducting class to students ages 10 and older. By age 15, the young conductors are standing in front of an audience of 2,000, says Demiany, whose students rehearse at the UCLA School of Music.

Traveling internationally is a major component of NCC, which has performed with China’s Galaxy Children’s Chorus. “My experience performing in China was truly amazing,” says NCC member Christopher O’Brien. “It’s almost unreal to fathom that I had the chance to perform along the Great Wall of China and within the ancient Xi’an city walls. I’m so grateful to the NCC for making this experience of a lifetime possible.”

Preparing for Auditions

choir programs in la

MUSYCA singers share their talents on the “Home & Family” show. PHOTO COURTESY MUSYCA

Want to get your child in on the action? The first step is generally an audition, so the program director can hear your child’s vocal range. “The best way to prepare them at a young age is to tell them they’re going to something called a chorus where people sing together,” says Demiany. “They have to listen to everything and do the best they can. We try to make the audition a low-stress experience. We are there to encourage whatever natural musical gifts they have and bring it out.”

Pittel’s audition-prep tips include choosing a familiar song, making sure your child avoids dairy products (which can clog the voice) and gets a good night’s rest the night before, and teaching them to make good eye contact during the audition itself.

While singing in a vocal ensemble won’t necessarily lead to a career in music, the experience tends to stay with a child. “It really becomes a part of their lives and they miss it when it’s gone,” says Rolniak.

But for some, like Shtangrud, years of singing lessons strike a chord. As a child he sang with the Big Children’s Choir of Russian State Radio & Television, and now he helps hundreds of children find their voices.

For a Song

Here’s a sampling of singing programs in the L.A. area. Lesson rates vary from about $30 to $160 a month.

Westside Children’s Chorus: Ages 6-18. Also offers a summer choral camp. 310-820-1620; www.westsidechildrenschorus.org.

National Children’s Chorus: Ages 5-19. 310-475-2070; www.nationalchildrenschorus.com.

MUSYCA Children’s Choir: Ages 4-18. 818-554-9937; www.musyca.org.

San Fernando Children’s Choir: Grades two-12 also offers a summer day camp. 818-895-707; www.valleyyouthchorus.org.

South Bay Children’s Choir: Ages 6-17. 310-641-0649; www.southbaychildrenschoir.com.

Karen Reinhard: Private lessons for ages 4-adult in Altadena; 626- 797-4758, altadenachildrenschoir@gmail.com.

Mimi Slawoff is a local freelance writer, mother of three, and frequent contributor to L.A. Parent.

Where to Buy, Sell or Trade Your Kids’ Clothes in L.A.

Published

By Lindsey Hunter Lopez

Buying used clothing for children makes a lot of sense, and if you can clear their closets of outgrown duds at the same time, it’s a no-brainer. I hit up the top resale shops in the L.A. area to find out what types of deals I could make. Here’s the rundown on these awesome spots!

greenbeaninterior

PHOTOS BY LINDSEY HUNTER LOPEZ

The Green Bean: This cozy, colorful Eagle Rock shop is run by Traci Green of the family folk band The Hollow Trees. It’s a small space, but there’s a lot of personality crammed in here. (Disclaimer: Bracelets I make are sold here.) Trade days are from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Mondays, and I brought an IKEA bag of items recently and received $16.50 in store credit for eight items. The Green Bean offers store credit worth 40 percent of the resale value of each item (no cash). There’s a two-bag maximum for resale, toys and gear are also accepted, and consignment is available for a 50-50 split.

With my credit, I got some Mini Melissa jellies (just $4!) and cowboy boots ($8) for my daughter. I often score with shoes (which are priced to sell) and vintage dresses here, and they have a great new-toy area that is perfect for birthday gifts. There’s a play area to keep your kids occupied while you browse, but remember to feed your meter. Better yet, park in the lot behind the store.

Hours: 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Mon.-Sat., 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Sun.

5060 N Eagle Rock Blvd., L.A.;  323-739-0870; www.thegreenbeangoods.com 

children's resale shopsGrow Kid Grow: This funky little gem on Sunset is packed to the brim with eclectic kids clothes and toys. If you can fight your way through the rounders of clothing, you can find some unique items, thanks to the artistic and international parents in Silver Lake. Sweet staff and a train table help keep the kids entertained while you shop, but there really isn’t room to accommodate a stroller. They require an appointment to sell, and you can bring in a grocery bag full of items for 40 percent store credit. Grow Kid Grow takes about a week to go through your items, then you’ll get a call when your offer is ready. I received $21.96 in store credit for 11 items. Top score: a Hanna Andersson striped play dress for $6.

Hours: 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Mon.-Sat., 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Sun.

4310 Sunset Blvd., L.A.; 323-661-4769; www.growkidgrow.com

children's resale shopsThe Closet Trading Co.: The Closet Trading Co.’s newest of four locations is in Woodland Hills, offering a good resale option for the Valley. The great upside to this mall boutique is that you can trade in your kids’ items and get something for yourself! They took 16 items, many new with tags, and I received $116.50 in trade or I could have gotten $69.90 in cash. I put that trade credit toward some amazing Valentino studded cage sandals for myself. I paid $115 out-of-pocket – a score for these shoes, which were $795 new! The Closet Trading Co. deals in more upscale brands, and it’s definitely a more luxe experience than you’d expect in kids’ resale. No appointment is necessary, which is very convenient. Bring your designer and contemporary women’s and children’s items any time.

Hours: 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. daily.

6316 Topanga Canyon Blvd., #2170, Woodland Hills; 818-912-6025; www.theclosetsb.com

children's resale shopsBluebird Kids: This adorable store in the Larchmont area is worth a visit even though parking can be tricky. Make a selling appointment, as they aren’t always buying. You have an option of either receiving 30 percent of the retail price in cash per item, or 35 percent in trade or store credit. Consignment at 50 percent is available for larger items such as strollers.

I received $17.84 in trade on eight items. I scored a Wildfox Kids tee ($7.95), H&M Elsa sweatshirt ($3.95), Hawaiian print romper ($4.95) and Adidas rainbow hoodie ($7.95) for my daughter, plus a BabyGap Christmas tee ($3) for my son. Bluebird is a crowd-pleaser with its organized layout and wide range of clothing options.

Hours: 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Mon.-Sat., 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Sun.

652 North Larchmont Blvd., L.A.; 323-466-0408; www.bluebirdlakids.com

children's resale shopsWear It Once, Wear It Twice: I brought two bags full of clothes to the spacious Burbank location, and they went through them on the spot. Call to make sure they are taking clothes that day before you come in. Eleven items yielded $18.99 in store credit, which I used to get a pair of green shorts ($4) and some Nike Frees ($10) for my son. And I had $4.99 left to spend! Wear It Once, Wear It Twice is clean and orderly with room to push your stroller around while you shop. They offer a lot of baby gear and toys as well as clothing, and there’s a nice selection of dance apparel. Parking is easy, too.

Hours: 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m. Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Sat., 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Sun.

1725 W. Verdugo Ave., Burbank; 818-558-4006; www.wearitoncewearittwice.com

Lindsey Hunter Lopez is a former entertainment writer and English teacher, and a mom of two who loves a bargain.

8 Tips for Talking to Kids About Alzheimer’s

Published

By Julie Keenan, MSW, and Lynn Gabriel, MDiv, BCC

difficult conversations

If a loved one has Alzheimer’s disease, it is still important for your children to spend time with them. PHOTO BY NED HORTON/FREEIMAGES.COM

Learning that a loved one has Alzheimer’s can be quite overwhelming. If you’re a parent and have to talk to your child about the disease, those feelings are likely exacerbated. This reality, while harsh, is one that affects millions of families. While we often think of Alzheimer’s as an illness that solely affects the patient diagnosed with the disease, the fact is, it affects the whole family.

According to the Alzheimer’s Association, more than 5 million Americans are living with the disease and these numbers are expected to escalate rapidly in the coming years. While symptoms of the disease develop slowly, it’s considered a progressive disease, worsening over time and becoming severe enough to interfere with daily life. And, unfortunately, Alzheimer’s disease is the only disease among the top 10 causes of death that cannot be prevented, cured or even slowed.

Various factors affect the impact the disease has on your child.

The degree to which a child is affected by learning that a loved one has the disease will depend largely on the child’s age, how close emotionally the child is to the person, where the person lives and the stage of the disease. A child who lives with a grandparent and is daily seeing the impact the illness is having on their loved one will likely be more affected than a child who sees that grandparent less often.

It’s OK to feel a wide range of emotions. 

Don’t expect your child to react to a loved one’s Alzheimer’s in a certain way. We all cope and express our feelings differently. Know that one day your child may be sad and another day he or she may feel angry. Your child may worry that he or she or another loved one might also get Alzheimer’s. Your child may be curious, confused or even frustrated. Again, these are all very normal emotions. Talking to your child about their feelings will help them deal with them.

Don’t distance your child.

You may be tempted to shield your child from the disease by limiting the amount of time your child spends with his or her loved one, but it’s very important to keep that relationship thriving. While you might have to limit the amount of time they spend together or the type of activities they share, do your best to preserve the bond your child has with his or her loved one. Reading familiar children’s stories, singing familiar songs or using familiar nicknames or phrases may be soothing to both the child and the person coping with Alzheimer’s.

Educate your child about the disease. 

When talking to children about the disease, it’s important to be frank and keep things simple. Encourage them to ask questions, sharing the answers you know and looking together for the answers you don’t know. It’s equally important to use language that is age appropriate. A teenager might comprehend what a progressive neurodegenerative disease is, while a school-aged child will better understand that it’s a disease that damages a person’s memory and their ability to perform certain functions.

Prepare your child for the changes.

Children are inquisitive and as the disease progresses, they will ask questions. While many parents will want to wait until those inquiries comes up, it’s best to be forthcoming about the details of the disease. Let your child know that Grandma or Grandpa’s health will worsen. There will be “normal” days and challenging days. Be candid and honest about the changes your loved one may experience and, as the disease progresses, remind your child that Grandma or Grandpa is acting differently because of the Alzheimer’s, not because she or he doesn’t love or care about them.

Don’t dismiss your child’s silence.

Be on the lookout for emotional or behavioral changes in your child. For example, if you notice that your child is withdrawing or has trouble talking about their loved one, open the conversation. A child who is having a hard time communicating might display physical symptoms, like a stomachache or headache. Validate your child’s feelings. Let him or her know it’s OK to be scared, nervous or afraid and that you’re always there to talk. Let them know that you, too, feel some of these emotions.

Reach out to others for support.

Make your child’s teacher aware of the situation, as he or she can help your child cope. Let him or her know the ways in which Alzheimer’s disease is affecting your child and the family and ask them to notify you about any changes in behavior. If needed, school psychologists should be contacted and scheduled for on-site emotional support.

Take care of yourself, too.

If you’re the caregiver, take good care of yourself! Sleep well, eat well and mind your own emotional well-being. Discover your self-care time in exercise, art, music, faith rituals or hobbies. Be patient and recognize that you’re dealing with a stressful situation. Remind yourself that your loved one is still present and that he or she is much more that a person with a disease.

Julie Keenan, MSW, is a Hospice Social Worker, and Lynn Gabriel, MDiv, BCC, is Director of Bereavement Services at Kaiser Permanente Downey Medical Center Hospice Department.

When Kids Swallow What They Shouldn’t

Published

By Alan L. Nager, M.D., M.H.A.

first aid for kidsDuring the holidays, many children get their hands on things they shouldn’t. When parents are distracted with cooking, eating, drinking and chatting, no one sees the 2-year-old wander into Grandma’s bedroom to find the candy dish of pills on the dresser.

This season, take preventive steps at home and in homes you are visiting. Keep medications and other dangerous substances in their original packaging (with child-proof caps if possible). Store these substances in a locked cabinet that is out of reach of children.

If you will be visiting the home of someone who uses a pill organizer, transfer the pills back to their original containers during your visit or make sure that the organizer is locked up out of your child’s reach.

Have the American Association of Poison Control Centers number (800-222-1222) stored in your phone and posted. Make sure everyone caring for your child knows it is there.

If you see the following signs in your child – whether or not you saw the child ingest anything – call 911:

  • Difficulty breathing
  • Changes in behavior
  • Hyperactivity or lethargy
  • Loss of consciousness
  • Changes in color
  • Gagging

If you believe your child ingested something dangerous, seek help as soon as possible. Use your phone to take video of your child’s odd behavior, or photos of the plant your child was chewing on, the amount of liquid spilled on the floor or anything else that might be useful. Bring the bottle of pills or whatever you think your child ingested with you to the emergency department.

In the emergency department we can give medications to counteract symptoms and can often keep much of the substance from being absorbed into the bloodstream. But this is not always necessary, because not all ingestions are life-threatening. If your child has gotten into something but isn’t showing life-threatening symptoms, call the Poison Control Center for guidance.

Alan L. Nager, M.D., M.H.A., has been Director of Emergency and Transport Medicine at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles for the past 18 years, and is a professor of Pediatrics at the Keck School of Medicine of the University of Southern California.

Family Holiday Traditions Worth Sharing

Published

By Christina Elston

Add any of these ideas from L.A. families to your seasonal celebration.
holiday traditions

Happy bakers (left to right) Erin Epstein, Emily Epstein, Kaela Selesnick and Hannah Selesnick mix up a batch of biscotti. PHOTO COURTESY PAULA SELESNICK

When you roast a Thanksgiving turkey in my house, you have to use Grandad’s stuffing recipe. And all the up-and-coming young cooks in the family are pressed to take a good whiff of the stuffing so they can learn how much poultry seasoning to add. (Sniffing is the best way to tell.)

Family and friends love my Christmas cookies, but most have never tasted the little reindeer with the pretzel antlers and candy noses. That’s because my mom, my daughter and I only bake and decorate those on Christmas Eve – and they are gobbled up soon after.

L.A. Parent is all about family, and families are all about tradition, so we put out the call and gathered up a few more fun traditions to share this season.

Giving Thanks

Single dad Warren Kaufman, who sells advertising for L.A. Parent, has a cooking tradition that isn’t really about cooking. His daughter Melanie, who will turn 26 Christmas Day, lived with him growing up, and Kaufman admits he isn’t much of a chef. “We always went out to dinner. With that said, when Thanksgiving rolled around, I certainly didn’t cook a turkey,” he says.

Instead, the Calabasas dad would drive his daughter to Bristol Farms to pick up a fully cooked turkey dinner. When Melanie was around 8 years old, they were driving back from this errand with their food when Kaufman spotted some homeless people at the side of the road and decided this would make a teachable moment, saying, “Honey, let’s just give this to them.” The pair donated their dinner, and have been doing so every year since. “The two of us go for a ride off of Las Virgenes  Road, headed into the Valley,” Kaufman says. They give the meal, paper plates, plastic cutlery and a little cash to the first homeless person they find, and always receive tremendous thanks. “I remember one particular time when a lady told me, ‘You have no idea how many families you’re feeding tonight!’” he says.

Writer Libby McInerny of Glendale also likes to keep the “thanks” in “thanksgiving” front and center – which she does with a gratitude tree. “I look forward to the start of Thanksgiving week, when I head down to the Los Angeles Flower District to select fresh branches, which I place in a tall vase with water,” she says. “Then I cut out different types of leaves and birds from colorful, patterned papers I’ve chosen, and place them in a wooden box alongside some pens.”

holiday traditions

Each Thanksgiving, Glendale writer Libby McInerny creates a gratitude tree so that her family and friends can share things they are thankful for. PHOTO BY LIBBY MCINERNY

McInerny says this is much more than a craft project, serving as a way for her to express her gratitude for good health, a loving husband, a big extended family and many friends. Anyone visiting her home that week can select a leaf or a bird, write down something they are grateful for and tie it to the tree. Two years ago, McInerny took her tree on the road to visit a friend and her two young daughters for the holiday. “The girls embraced the tradition enthusiastically, running through almost all of the leaves and birds I had created in order to give thanks for everything from their mom and dad to their favorite toys,” she says. And though there is no specific ritual for adding to the tree, it seems never to lack for participants. “The jam-packed tree is a beautiful thing to behold at the end of the long holiday weekend!” McInerny says.

Sharing the Light

When Hanukkah rolls around each year, mom of three, writer and blogger Rina Baraz Nehdar pulls out her calendar to plan her family’s daily themes. When she was growing up, Nehdar’s family didn’t observe many Jewish traditions, “so I had to go out and find traditions to bring into my own family,” she says.

At a workshop at her temple around six years ago, people gathered to share their holiday traditions and Nehdar took note. She chose those she liked best and combined them into eight days of activities for her young family.

Each year, Nehdar assigns a theme to each night of Hanukkah (keeping weeknight themes manageable). These might include baking, games, family movie night, volunteering or charitable giving, art night, having a party with family and friends, or a night where everyone sings karaoke. “I just wanted to make it more meaningful,” Nehdar says of the holiday celebration. And though the goal is to shift the focus away from presents, Nehdar’s sons do receive small gifts that fit each night’s theme. For baking night, they might receive silicone cupcake molds. For movie night, a family film on DVD. “I think they really like it,” she says of sons Knox, 6, Kaleb, 8 and Kyle, 19. “They just enjoy everyone being together and doing things together.”

Cooking Up Some Joy

L.A. Parent Director of Content Elena Epstein and her family are also Jewish, but they have a Christmas tradition to go along with their Hanukkah ones. “We have been getting together with our good friend Paula Selesnick and her daughters Hannah and Kaela every year before Christmas to bake Paula’s grandmother’s traditional Italian biscotti,” Epstein says.

holiday traditions

The biscotti the Epstein and Selesnick families bake up at Christmas each year are based on Paula Selesnick’s grandmother’s recipe. PHOTO COURTESY PAULA SELESNICK

Selesnick is Catholic and her husband is Jewish, and the cookies are one of their blended family’s traditions. The Epsteins became part of it when Hannah and Epstein’s younger daughter, Emily, were in preschool. And there’s a reason this is a recipe you want to make with friends. These aren’t the hard-and-crunchy biscotti people dunk in coffee. These are tender little cookies made in fun shapes with the help of many hands. “We do an assembly line because it’s a huge batch,” Epstein says. Once the dough is made, small pieces are pulled off one by one and rolled into logs, then twisted into shapes, brushed with egg wash, sprinkled with sugar and baked.

After the cookies are finished, the girls always have fun putting together gingerbread houses while the moms relax with coffee. Three of the four are off at college this year, but are looking forward to getting together during winter vacation to continue their tradition.

Italian cooking is also a big tradition in the home of realtor Kim Rouggie O’Rourke of Woodland Hills. “Something smells fishy in our house on Christmas Eve!” says O’Rourke. “We celebrate a very old Italian tradition called The Feast of the Seven Fish.” This means the family’s holiday table is filled with precisely seven fishes, including calamari, cod, crab, scallops, shrimp, salmon and an anchovy pasta called “Pasta Alice” that O’Rourke says she hated as a kid but now loves. There are many theories about why there are seven fishes served, but for O’Rourke it’s just tradition.

“I was born and raised in Los Angeles and my parents were from the Midwest, but I feel it’s important to keep this tradition alive,” she says. “If you think I have a table full of Italian Americans in my home on Christmas Eve, think again. Our family has grown to include Irish, Jewish, Chilean, Mexican and English.”

Tree Traditions

Trees are a Christmas tradition in many homes, but Fox 11 parenting reporter and mom of two boys Donna Tetreault found a way to turn the tree into a

holiday traditions

Donna Tetreault’s family decorates a special tree every year in remembrance of their Nona. PHOTO BY DONNA TETREAULT

tribute. “With the passing of my mom, Loretta Tetreault, three years ago, it was important for me to keep her spirit alive,” Tetreault says. “Every Christmas we have our regular Christmas tree and also a small tree for Nona. We decorate it with the same ornaments each year. The topper is an angel that is beautifully lit. We talk about Nona and how much she loved Christmas. This is one way we keep her memory alive as well as tell stories about her. I want my children to know my mom and know how much she loved us all.”

But what about when Christmas is through? Kaumudi Marathé is a caterer and writer and mom to one daughter, Keya Marathé-Bajaj. “When Keya was a toddler, it made her very sad to see Christmas trees thrown by the curb after the 25th,” Marathé says. “When we went for our walks, she would decorate the trees with acorns, magnolia pods, leaves, etc. so they wouldn’t feel discarded. So we started doing that purposefully every year. At 15, she still stops and does that in our neighborhood.”

One For the New Year

A tough time in writer Thea Fiore Bloom’s life sparked a New Year’s Eve tradition she now cherishes – and one that could be adapted to almost any holiday. After a divorce, Bloom decided to spend one New Year’s Eve at home rather than going out.

She set out, and now puts out each year, a herd of tea light candles in front of her fireplace, each beside a small piece of paper with the name of a family member or friend written on it. She then takes her time lighting them one by one. “As I light each person’s candle I imagine that individual healthy and whole and happy in the new year,” she says. “I picture them having their dreams come true. For example, I would picture in my mind my best friend  getting married, walking down the aisle in a long lacy white gown, because that is her biggest wish.”

Bloom says putting her focus on the happiness of others lifts her spirits and fills her with love and hope. That sounds like a great way to start the year, or to kick off the holiday season.

Christina Elston is Editor of L.A. Parent.

From sports to performing arts, these are the top winter camps in L.A.

Published

By Christina Elston

winter camp los angeles

Thanksgiving and Holiday editions of Kids in the Kitchen camp at Surfas Culinary District get kids cooking with sweet and savory treats. PHOTO BY LISA TANNER

Winter is coming. It won’t bring snow. It might not bring rain. It will, however, bring a lengthy school break for most kids. Campuses in the Los Angeles Unified School District are closed a whopping three weeks. Burbank, Beverly Hills, Santa Monica and Long Beach public schools are closed for two, and Pasadena schools just slightly longer.

Your children will be home, and you need a plan. And if your kids are lucky, that plan will include one of the many cool winter camps that pop up to help families fill the vacation gap.

Here’s where to look for them.

Museums, Zoos and Aquariums

Two of L.A.’s museums – the Los Angeles County Museum of Art and the La Brea Tar Pits and museum – offer winter camps. The L.A. Zoo and one of the area’s aquariums – Aquarium of the Pacific – have them as well. If your family enjoys visiting these spots on the weekend, they’re a great place to start.

Aquarium of the Pacific has been offering winter camps for at least 10 years, and interest is growing. “I think in the last year or two, we’ve noticed a lot more people booking them,” says Education Coordinator Erin English. Camps for younger kids include aquarium tours, demonstrations with animal artifacts and a touch pool. Camps for teens focus on the deep sea and give campers a chance to drive a remotely operated ocean vehicle and have a pizza party and a sleepover inside the aquarium. “The most exciting part for the kids are the husbandry interactions,” says English, explaining that campers get rare up-close opportunities to feed and interact with the animals.

Places to Get Crafty

Whether your kids are into pottery, designing their own clothes, making art or just tinkering around, there are winter camps crafted just for them.

winter camp los angeles

Kids attending camp at Bitter Root Pottery don’t need previous experience with clay, but they do need to be ready to get dirty. PHOTO COURTESY BITTER ROOT POTTERY

Bitter Root Pottery offers camps at its stores in Westfield Village and Beverly Grove and its newly opened location in Valencia Town Center. Each day is a combination of wheel throwing and hand building things like animal sculptures. And camp offers kids a chance to paint and glaze their projects, which there generally isn’t time for during regular classes. No prior pottery experience is required, and Manager Rachel Villanueva advises campers to be ready to get dirty. “Make sure they wear clothes they don’t mind getting clay on,” she says. “Don’t wear your fancy tiaras to camp.”

For kids who prefer motors to mud, reDiscover Center will again offer Tinkering School Camp, promising a chance to learn tool safety and build amazing things. The fashionista in your family, meanwhile, can design signature clothing at The Unincorporated Life Fashion Design Camp.

Campers who are a bit more artsy might enjoy art making with winter fairytale themes at Purple Twig Winter Tales Camp. “Our camps are such a great combination of art making, experiencing the neighborhood and free play,” says Owner/Creator Samara Caughey. Campers create sculpture with papier mâché and recycled materials, and also head out for neighborhood scavenger hunts or to play in the park. “If it is raining, we go on rainy walks with umbrellas,” Caughy says. “Then we come in and have tea.” Winter camp gives young artists time to focus on involved projects, and space is limited to 15 so kids get individual attention.

Performing Arts Programs

winter camp los angeles

Purple Twig Winter Tales Camp is a combination of art making and neighborhood fun. PHOTO COURTESY PURPLE TWIG

If your child loves the spotlight, you’ll find dance, theater and even comedy camp options. The venerable Santa Monica Playhouse Create-a-Play Winter Break Theater Camp will host young playwrights and performers again this year, and Studio LOL in Studio City lets kids dabble in comedy stand-up and improv fun.

At ABCs of Dance Winter Wonderland Camp, dancers can practice ballet, tap, jazz dance and some tumbling that Co-Owner and dance teacher Katie Albin promises isn’t too girly for boys to enjoy. There’s a different theme (one recent theme was “Frozen”) each year, and they’ve been offering Winter Wonderland the past four years. “A lot of our parents asked for it,” says Albin. Other camp perks include lunch from Corner Bakery Café and in-studio performances for family and friends every Friday where dancers wear and use costume pieces and props they make during craft time.

Spots for Sports

If your kids are into a particular sports activity such as soccer, baseball or horseback riding, check local sports programs for camp options. Some, such as Saken Sports Camp in L.A., offer a variety of sports activities during the course of the week. Super Soccer Stars offers soccer camps at parks in Hermosa Beach, Malibu, Santa Monica and West Hollywood, among others. All Star Baseball School offers winter camp with instruction from former professional players and coaches.

A unique experience is Los Angeles Dodgers Foundation Winter Youth Baseball Camp. The focus is on allowing young Dodger fans the rare chance to tour Dodger Stadium, play baseball on diamonds set up in the outfield there and discuss baseball with former and current Dodger players. Camp is only two days long, and spots fill fast.

Campers can learn complete horsemanship at Enterprise Farms Holiday Camp, held at the Paddock Riding Club in Atwater Village near Griffith Park.

winter camp los angeles

Got a horse lover in the family? Head over to Atwater Village for Enterprise Farms Holiday Camp. PHOTO COURTESY ENTERPRISE FARMS

Children who attend learn grooming, tack and parts of the horse, and ride every day in skill-appropriate groups. Enterprise Farms provides boots and helmets, plus two healthy snacks per day and lunch on Fridays – when there is a horse show that lets campers demonstrate their new skills.

The camp features rare Caspian horses, which are the size of a pony, but proportioned like a full-size horse, with a horse’s gentle temperament. No riding experience is necessary to attend. “Kids who’ve never even been on a horse will find it absolutely appropriate for them,” says farm owner and manager Gene Gilbert. Holiday camp has been part of Enterprise Farms throughout its 20-year history. “At the end of the summer, people always ask when is your next camp,” Gilbert says. “People always come back and they always bring their friends.”

Possible Career Paths

Does your child have an interest that might turn into a career? Winter camp could be a chance to build skills and dip a toe in the water.

At the beautifully appointed test kitchen at Surfas Culinary District in Culver City, aspiring chefs can get cooking with the Thanksgiving Edition and Holiday Edition of Kids In the Kitchen camp. Culinary Coordinator Stephanie Norcio (Chef Steph) will turn your kids into skillful kitchen assistants, teaching them knife and food safety skills, and how to make salads, sides and desserts for the Thanksgiving table or Christmas dishes from Mexico, Italy and Jamaica. Surfas also offers a host of individual classes for kids, including gingerbread house workshops and cookies for Santa. And there are “family dinner,” cooking and baking classes for kids and parents to take together.

winter camp los angeles

PHOTO COURTESY OF GRAY STUDIOS

Or perhaps your child dreams of becoming a waiter – um, actor. Gray Studios Winter Camp gives kids the opportunity to make and star in a real movie with IMDB credit. In groups of 15 or fewer, campers create seven-minute short films where they write the script, operate camera equipment, and where each has a starring role. “They get to create their character from start to finish. The process is 100 percent driven by them,” says owner and president Shanelle Gray. “They get the experience of being on a real set.”

In the fall, summer- and winter-camp students come together for a red-carpet screening and awards event called the Gray Studios Oscars. This is the third year the acting studio has offered the camp, and no prior experience is required. “Anybody can come in and we’ll make a really great film with them,” says Gray.

Kids interested in computer technology careers can code with the same tools the pros use at CodeREV Winter Tech Camp in Santa Monica. Campers design apps, games, robots, have battlebots sessions and do 3D modeling and animation. “The camp format allows for the best type of learning,” says CodeREV CEO Kevin Boorman. Focusing on coding daily for a week or more of camp allows kids to build basic skills that give them the tools to create whatever they can imagine. “That’s when the real fun starts,” Boorman says.

And kids at CodeREV camp are taught by people who have worked at places like Microsoft, Google and Sony, and are interested in giving kids a head start. “All of our instructors have real-world tech experience and real experience teaching kids,” says Boorman. “They feel a social responsibility to give back and revolutionize the way we learn to code as a culture.”

winter camp los angeles

Kids with an interest in coding can focus on building basic skills at CodeREV Winter Tech Camp. PHOTO COURTESY CODEREV

Summer Camp Locations

If you aren’t looking for a revolution, maybe a more traditional camp is in order. And maybe the camp your child enjoyed over the summer offers winter sessions, too.

Tumbleweed Day Camp is one that does. And Tumbleweed Winter Camp is dedicated to traditional camp activities such as horseback riding, ropes course and arts and crafts. “We do everything we do in the summer minus swimming,” says Tumbleweed Director and President Liz Kimmelman. Winter Camp also includes a New Year’s Eve Party Dec. 30 and a winter festival with cooking and crafts. The camp provides transportation and has a lunch-delivery service available.

Tumbleweed has been offering Winter Camp for at least 40 years, and camp tends to fill up every year. “There’s a mad dash right around the beginning of December,” says Kimmelman, who advises families to try to sign up before Thanksgiving. Because families can sign up for as few as two days, this is a good camp for beginners. “It’s a really great opportunity for young kids that are new to day camp to try it out,” Kimmelman says.

Tom Sawyer goes a different route in the winter. “Our Holiday Camp is very different from our summer camp,” says Program Director Kathy Garcia fromthe Pasadena-based program. Each day, campers meet at a local school site and then depart – in Tom Sawyer vehicles with Tom Sawyer drivers – for a fun field

winter camp los angeles

PHOTO COURTESY AQUARIUM OF THE PACIFIC

trip. They visit places such as Pacific Park in Santa Monica, Scooter’s Jungle indoor playground, Columbia Memorial Space Center and the L.A. Zoo. They also do a “park hopper” day where they visit different playgrounds. “And before the kids get bored and don’t want to play any more, we move on to another playground,” Garcia says. “We just have a lot of fun.”

Whether you are looking to cover your child’s entire winter break, or to fill in gaps between other camps, YMCA Winter Day Camps are another great option. The Y operates 26 branches in Los Angeles, plus 57 licensed school programs, with each local branch and program offering something different planned around local schedules. “We follow the school calendar,” says YMCA Los Angeles Senior Vice President of Youth Programs Gwen Bagley. “When school’s out, the Y’s in.”

The Y offers themed camps featuring fun activities from games to STEM, arts, crafts, dance, yoga and anything that supports healthy lifestyles. Check with your local branch website for options in your area. These camps are also a great way for local families to connect. “Most of our programs are located on neighborhood school campuses, so it’s part of their community already,” Bagley says.

There are fewer winter camp programs out there than you’ll find during summer, and capacity at these tends to be smaller at some locations. Still, this article barely scratches the surface of what is available in L.A. County. The key to a fun winter break for your child, and less stress for you, is to dig in and start your planning now, while it’s still fall.

winter camp los angeles

Unlike it’s summer camp, Winter Day Camp at Tom Sawyer takes kids out and about for fun field trips. PHOTO COURTESY TOM SAWYER

Winter Camps 2016

ABCs of Dance Winter Wonderland Camp
Dec. 19-23 and Jan. 2-6
Ages 4-8
$295 per week for new dancers, $245 for currently enrolled dancers
8505 Santa Monica Blvd., #5, West Hollywood; 310-923-0888, www.abcsofdanceweho.com

All-Star Baseball School Winter Camp
Dec. 26-30
Ages 5-14
$295
660 Stoney Dr., South Pasadena; www.allstarbaseballschool.com

Aquarium of the Pacific Winter Camps
Sea Squirt Winter Camp, ages 5-6, Jan. 3-5; $115 per child, $90 per member child
Winter Day Camp, ages 7-12, Dec. 27-29; $150 per child, $125 per member child
Winter Teen Overnight, ages 13-15, Dec. 28-29; $90 per child, $80 per member child
100 Aquarium Way, Long Beach; www.aquariumofpacific.org/education/programs

Bitter Root Pottery Kids Winter Sessions
Dec. 19-23, 26-30 and Jan. 2-6
Ages 6-12
$60 per day
Westfield Village, 6320 Topanga Canyon Blvd., Woodland Hills; Beverly Grove, 7451 Beverly Blvd., L.A.; Valencia Town Center, 24201 W. Valencia Blvd., Valencia;  www.bitter-root-pottery.myshopify.com

CodeREV Winter Tech Camp

Dec. 19-23, 27-30 and Jan. 2-6
Ages 6-14
$110 per day, $59 per half day
1639 16th St., Santa Monica; www.coderevkids.com

Enterprise Farms Holiday Camp
Dec. 12-Jan. 13
Ages 6-12
$525 per week
3919 Rigali Ave., L.A.; www.enterprisefarms.com

Gray Studios Winter Make-A-Movie Camp
Dec. 19-23 and 26-30 and Jan. 2-6
Ages 7-15
$550 per week
5250 Vineland Ave., North Hollywood; sasha@graystudiosla.com, 818-582-3943

La Brea Tar Pits and Museum Adventures In Nature Camp
Jan. 5-6, grades K-5, call for tuition
900 Exposition Blvd., L.A.;  www.nhm.org/aincamp

Los Angeles County Museum of Art Winter Art Camp
Dec. 19-23: Cartoons, Rectangles and Representation (ages 6-9), Wearable Art (ages 10-13)
Dec. 26-30: Art and the Five Senses (ages 6-9), Experimental Art (ages 10-13)
$330 per session for members, $335 for non-members
Member prices apply to those with NextGen memberships, which are free for ages 17 and younger.
5905 Wilshire Blvd., L.A.; Registration: www.lacma.org/kids-families/art-classes/art-camp

Los Angeles Dodgers Foundation Winter Youth Baseball Camp
Dec. 10 and 11, ages 7-12, $450
Camp proceeds benefit the Los Angeles Dodgers Foundation.
Dodger Stadium, 1000 Vin Scully Ave., L.A.; www.dodgers.com/camp

L.A. Tinkering School Winter Camp
Full session Dec. 19-23, $500; one-day camps Dec. 26-30, $100 per day; ages 7-12 (ask about their counselor-in-training program for ages 14-17)
reDiscover Center, 12958 W. Washington Blvd., L.A.;  www.Rediscovercenter.org

Los Angeles Zoo Winter Zoo Camp
Dec. 26-30
Ages 4-Grade 4
$60 per day for zoo members, $65 per day for non-members
5333 Zoo Dr., L.A.; www.lazoo.org

Purple Twig Winter Tales Camp
Dec. 19-23 – $350
Dec. 27-30 and Jan. 3-6 -$300
Ages 5-10
Must sign up for a full week
2038 Colorado Blvd., Eagle Rock; www.purpletwig.com

Saken Sports Camp
Dec. 19-23
Kindergarten-Grade 7
$100 per day, $475 per week
15871 Mulholland Dr., L.A.; www.sakensportscamp.com

Santa Monica Playhouse Create-a-Play Winter Break Theater Camp
Dec. 19-22, 26-29 and Jan. 3-6
Ages 6-14
$395 per week
1211 4th St., Santa Monica; education@santamonicaplayhouse.com, www.santamonicaplayhouse.com, 310-394-9779, ext. 3

Studio LOL Comedy Camp
Dec. 19-23 and 26-30 and Jan. 2-6
Ages 8 and up
$300 per session
12434 Moorpark St., Studio City; www.studiolol.com

Super Soccer Stars
Dec. 19-28
Fun in the Sun Camp, Ages 3-5
Kick It Camp, Ages 6-12
Hermosa Beach Valley Park, Hermosa Beach; Malibu Bluffs Park, Malibu; Clover Park, Santa Monica; La Brea Tar Pits, L.A.
For tuition and enrollment information, visit www.supersoccerstars.com/la-december-holiday-camps

Surfas Culinary District
Kids In the Kitchen Thanksgiving Edition: Italian Thanksgiving Nov. 22, Sweet Treats for Turkey Day Nov. 23
$140 for both classes.
Kids In the Kitchen Holiday Edition: South of The Border Holiday Favorites Dec.  19, Italian Pasta Party Dec.  20, Traditional Jamaican Dec.  21
$210 for all three classes.
Ages 7-14
8777 Washington Blvd., Culver City, (310) 559-4770

Tom Sawyer Holiday Camp
Dec. 19-23, 29 and 30 and Jan. 3–6
Campers must be enrolled in kindergarten-eighth grade
$80 per full day
Registration: www.tomsawyercamps.com

Tumbleweed Winter Day Camp
Dec. 19-30
PreK-Grade 8
$135 per day, two-day minimum, no drop-ins
1024 Hanley Ave., L.A.; www.tumbleweedcamp.com

The Unincorporated Life Fashion Design Camp
Nov. 21, 22, 28 and 29; Nov. 23, 24, 25 and 27; Dec. 14-18; Dec. 21-24; Jan. 4-8;
Ages 6-12 and 13-18
$650 per session
1150 N. Western Ave., L.A.; www.theunincorporatedlife.com, 323-655-0515

YMCA Winter Day Camps
Dates follow the local school calendar, and schedules and options vary by branch.
Visit www.ymcala.org/metro/locations to find a branch near you.

Christina Elston is Editor of L.A. Parent.

It’s Pie On a Stick

Published

Updated October 29, 2020

family recipes

Chef Stephanie Norcio teaches L.A. Parent cover models Emily Kohlschreiber and Darren Sapoznic to make her Caramel Apple Pie Pops. PHOTOS BY LISA TANNER

When we met Stephanie Norcio, she was in charge of the beautiful test kitchen at Surfas Culinary District, which was then located in Culver City. Surfas is still a mecca for top-notch cooking equipment and classes that cater to everyone from young kids to aspiring Master Chefs. Norcio, a whiz of a chef who is great with kids, was kind enough to share this recipe for pie pops. Her crust is amazingly flaky and tasty, but the pops can also be made with pre-made crust (even gluten free).

“To make these fun, adorable pie pops takes a bit of preparation, but know that all components can be made up to a week in advance and stored until ready to assemble and bake,” Norcio says. They have a shelf life of four to five days stored at room temperature and freeze very well for up to two months. Your kids can learn to make them from Norcio in person at a class at Surfas Nov. 23. Learn more at www.surfasonline.com.

– Christina Elston

Caramel Apple Pie Pops

Makes 12-16 

Caramel Apple Filling:

6 -8 medium green apples (1½ lbs)

1½ tablespoons cornstarch

2 teaspoons cinnamon

3 tablespoons fresh-squeezed lemon juice, plus 1 teaspoon lemon juice measured separately (reserve juiced lemons and one more teaspoon of juice)

2 tablespoons unsalted butter

1 cup granulated sugar

3 tablespoons water

family recipesPlace the juiced lemons and a teaspoon of the lemon juice in a large bowl. As you peel, core and slice the apples into ⅛-inch slices, toss them with the lemons and juice to prevent them from browning.

Once the apples are ready, combine the cornstarch, cinnamon and three tablespoons of lemon juice to make your slurry (thickening agent).

Place the sugar, water and a teaspoon of lemon juice into a heavy-bottomed stock pot. Mix just to combine and avoid getting bits of sugar on sides of pot as much as possible. Turn the heat to high and do not stir. Watch the sugar until it starts to change colors (which will happen very quickly). Once the caramel starts to turn dark amber in color, drain the apples, stir them in and stir and cook for 5-10 minutes until the apples start to release their juice.

Once the caramel and apples are evenly combined and the amount of liquid in the pan has doubled (to about 1 cup), add the slurry. Cook the apples and slurry, stirring, for 2 minutes, just until it starts to thicken, then stir in the butter. The apples will be very soft.

Remove from heat and transfer the apple mixture into a bowl to chill while you make the pie dough.

Flaky Pie Crust:

12 tablespoons (1½ sticks) very cold unsalted butter

3 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon kosher salt

1 tablespoon sugar

⅓ cup very cold vegetable shortening

6 to 8 tablespoons (about ½ cup) ice water

Dice the butter and return it to the refrigerator while you prepare the flour mixture.

Place the flour, salt and sugar in the bowl of a food processor fitted with a steel blade and pulse a few times to mix. Add the butter and shortening. Pulse 8 to 12 times, until the mixture is the size of peas. Then, as you pulse the machine, pour the ice water down the feed tube and continue pulsing until the dough begins to form a ball.

Dump the dough onto a floured board and shape it into two disks. Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.

Assembly and Baking:

⅓ cup raw sugar (castor, unrefined, large granule sugar)

2 eggs

2 Tablespoons water

24 Popsicle sticks or lollipop sticks

Apple-shaped or circular cookie cutter about 2 inches in diameter

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

Mix the eggs and water very well and set aside.

Sprinkle your work surface with flour and place one disk of pie dough in the center. Sprinkle the top with additional flour. Working from the center of the dough to the edges, roll the dough out evenly to a thickness of ⅛ inch.

Using the cookie cutter, cut as many apple or circle shapes out of the pie dough as you can. Repeat with the second disk of dough. You should end up with about 24 shapes.

Arrange the shapes of dough on a cookie sheet covered with baking parchment and use a pastry brush to brush them all with the egg wash. Top half of the shapes with a tablespoon-size scoop of apple filling. (I like to use a small ice-cream scoop to make this easier.) Top each scoop of filling with a second shape of dough, flipping the shape so the egg-washed side is on top of the filling, and crimp all the edges with a fork. Coat the tops of the pies with more egg wash and sprinkle with sugar (Regular granulated or colored sugar can also be used).

Place one popsicle stick in each pie pop. Bake for 25 minutes or until evenly golden brown, rotating the baking sheet halfway through baking.

Cool and enjoy!

Come Face-to-Face with Hunger in MAZON’s Mobile Exhibit

Published

By Christina Elston

community news

In the “This Is Hunger” mobile exhibit launching in Culver City Nov. 16, visitors will encounter the images and voices of families facing food insecurity. PHOTO COURTESY MAZON

In this season of thankfulness for what we have, we also try to remember those who struggle. That makes the “This Is Hunger” mobile exhibit coming this month to three local spots aptly timed – especially since it reminds us that often these people look just like us. Inside the exhibit, housed in a 53-foot-long semi trailer, visitors sit around a long wooden table with striking images of families facing food insecurity projected at each end as their voices are heard talking about their lives.

“The exhibit takes people into the world of hunger using all of their senses,” says Abby Leibman, CEO of MAZON: A Jewish Response to Hunger. “You are actually sitting down at a table with the people in this country who struggle every day with where they are going to find their next meal.” The L.A.-based national nonprofit commissioned the exhibit, which was created by the team responsible for creating Noah’s Ark at the Skirball Cultural Center.

After about 18 minutes at the table, images begin to appear on the walls of the 1,000-square-foot space as well, inviting visitors to move around and engage in other activities – including signing petitions, making donations, posting photos on social media and gathering further information. The activities are designed to help visitors explore public policy advocacy, community organizing and direct assistance (such as volunteering at a food bank), to help determine which types of responses to their communities need best suit them.

“None of us really understands who we’re talking about when we’re talking about those 42 million people [in the U.S. who face hunger],” says Leibman. The images in “This Is Hunger” make it clear that the hungry – including 1.4 million in L.A. County – aren’t all homeless folks on Skid Row.

The exhibit is recommended for ages 12 and up, and Leibman says adults shouldn’t underestimate what kids this age know and observe. “I believe really strongly in the power of the 12-year-old,” she says. The exhibit is meant to evoke an emotional response, and you can help your child through this by asking questions:

  • What does that image say to you?

    community news

    The “This Is Hunger” exhibit is housed in a 53-foot expandable semi trailer that will tour the country after its launch in Culver City. PHOTO COURTESY MAZON

  • Does it remind you of somebody?
  • Do you think it’s possible there are people in your school who are having this experience?
  • What does hunger mean?
  • What are you feeling?
  • What do you want to do with that feeling?

Leibman points out that the struggling families depicted in the exhibit include children who talk about their concern for their parents. But meeting these families won’t leave visitors feeling hopeless or helpless. “The people in the exhibit are hopeful,” Leibman says. They don’t believe they will be in this situation forever, and when they get out, they plan to help others.

Learning about ways they can help will also help children cope with their feelings about this issue.

The exhibit launches with a gala Nov. 16 at Smashbox Studios in Culver City (which has an admission fee), then proceeds to Temple Israel of Hollywood Nov. 17-22 and Santa Monica College Nov. 23-Dec. 1 before departing for Irvine and then on a nationwide tour. Admission is free but reservations are recommended. Learn more at www.thisishunger.org.

Grief During the Holidays

Published

By Christina Elston

family loss

Kids at Camp Erin, a program offered by Our House Grief Support Centers, get a chance to spend time with others who have lost loved ones, which helps them feel less alone. PHOTO COURTESY OUR HOUSE

If your family lost a loved one this year, the approaching holiday season might seem a little less joyful. And how your family approaches it can make a big difference – especially for the children.

“Kids are going to take their cues from the adults,” says Lauren Schneider, clinical director of child and adolescent programs at Our House Grief Support Centers in West L.A. and Woodland Hills. Our House provides support groups and other services for children and adults, and Schneider has advice for families coping with the loss of a loved one this season.

Begin with a family meeting to talk about how you will handle your celebrations and traditions. Even very young children should be included and asked their opinions in an age-appropriate way. For example: “Daddy used to take you to pick out the Christmas tree, but Daddy isn’t here with us now. Would you still like to go and help pick it out?” If it feels too difficult to continue some of your traditions this year, make a plan for what you will do instead.

Your plan should include some special way to acknowledge your loved one. “The worst thing for the kids is when the person who died is not mentioned,” says Schneider. Set a place for them at the Thanksgiving table, hang their Christmas stocking or mix up their favorite noodle kugel recipe. Then talk about happy memories of that person. “We as adults need to help children preserve their memories and remind them how much they were loved by that person,” Schneider says.

family loss

During the holidays, it’s important to find special ways to help children acknowledge and remember loved ones who have died. PHOTOS COURTESY OUR HOUSE

You might even start a new tradition, such as visiting the cemetery to decorate family graves, taking cookies to an assisted-living facility or volunteering to serve food to the homeless. Whatever you do, make sure everyone is included. “We don’t want anyone in the family grieving alone,” says Schneider.

Tears are inevitable, but be careful about letting your young child see your own grief. You don’t want them to avoid talking about the person who died, or worrying that you won’t be able to take care of them. Tell them that you’re sad, but that you’re glad to be there with them. Let them know it is OK to play and have fun.

And if you are falling apart or your child is struggling, bring in help. Kids who are grieving can feel isolated and alone. “When a child experiences death, they’re not as likely to talk about it with their peers,” Schneider says.

Support groups for children and parents can help the whole family understand that even though this holiday season might feel a little lonely, they are not alone. Learn more about the groups Our House offers at www.ourhouse-grief.org.

Lisa Ling: Blending Motherhood and Investigative Reporting

Published

By Elena Epstein

parenting

Lisa Ling, pictured with husband, Paul Song, and daughters Jett and Ray, says that with her busy schedule work-life balance just doesn’t exist. PHOTO COURTESY LISA LING

Lisa Ling loves to tell stories. As a mom, she has a daily ritual of cuddling with her two daughters and reading their favorite books. As an award-winning journalist she has told hard-hitting, investigative stories from around the globe. For years, I have watched and admired Ling, who has been a correspondent for “ABC World News Tonight,” the “Oprah Winfrey Show,” co-host of ABC’s “The View” and is now the executive producer and host of CNN Original Series, “This is Life with Lisa Ling.”

Ling’s new series covers such provocative topics as the lives of traveling strippers, life inside the largest jail in America, heroin addiction, sexual abuse and female MMA fighters. Ling, who lives in Santa Monica, is in many ways a typical working mom. Our chat began just after she dropped off her 3-old daughter, Jett, at summer camp. And we discussed the challenges many of us face as we blend work, motherhood and taking care of aging parents. However, I realized early on that Ling’s work-life blending can’t quite be called “ordinary,” as she casually mentioned the time she was pumping breast milk while riding in the back of a SWAT car.

How do you manage the demands of your CNN show and parenting a 3-year-old and a 5-month-old? 

The idea of work-life balance does not exist. It’s more like we are surviving. For us, it’s all hands on deck. Sometimes I travel eight to 10 days a month. My husband and I tag team and try not to be out of town at the same time. We also have great family support. My mom and my mother-in-law are at our house every day to help with the kids. When I’m not traveling, I’m with the kids—running errands, volunteering at the preschool.

Has your perspective on your family and culture shifted since you became a mom?

Definitely. Both my parents are immigrants and they worked really hard while my sister and I were growing up. I respect my parents more than ever now that I’m a parent. When I was young, I was embarrassed to be Chinese. I didn’t want to be different. But now I truly value my culture and it’s emphasis on taking care of each other.

How has your perspective on your career shifted?

I’ve been a free spirit my whole life. I’m curious and I need to tell stories and learn about how other people live and foster a better understanding of the lives of people different than us. I’m still very curious, but now I have two lives that I’m responsible for. I have more discretion than ever before.

Tell us about some typical family moments and some not so typical.

I was breastfeeding Jett for eight months and there were times that I had to FedEx containers of my milk from where I was reporting back home to feed my daughter. I have had to pump in the back of a SWAT car and some other unusual places. But when I’m not on assignment, life is pretty quiet. On the weekends, we have a family breakfast, go to the Santa Monica Pier or the zoo, take a nap in the afternoon and then go for a long walk in our neighborhood. And, of course, there is usually a birthday party or two to go to.

Do you have a mom mantra?

When I’m feeling frustrated, I always ask myself, “Am I doing the best that I can?” and then I try to let go of the guilt. When I’m happy and proud of the work I’m doing, I’m not bitter or angry. I’m excited to share what I’m doing with my kids.

“This is Life with Lisa Ling” airs Sundays at 10 p.m. on CNN.

Book Review: “Girls & Sex, Navigating the Complicated New Landscape”

Published

By Elena Epstein

parenting book

New York Times best-selling author and journalist Peggy Orenstein covers a range of important sexual topics in her new book. PHOTO BY MICHAEL TODD

Peggy Orenstein, a New York Times best-selling author, covers it all – sexual myths our teens believe, the effects of social media, the hookup culture, the role of drugs and alcohol and the realities of sexual assault – in this book that every parent should read. Orenstein is a journalist and a mom who shares her own concerns as a parent and tells us early on that the in-depth reporting she did for this book forced her to confront her “own biases, overcome discomfort, clarify my values.” As a mom of two daughters, that’s exactly how I felt after I finished reading this book.

Orenstein’s interviews with 70 young women ages 15-20, who share their most intimate thoughts and experiences about sex, send a powerful message to parents who are often afraid or simply unsure how to approach the topic of sex with our children.

For many of us, “the talk” we remember with our parents was either a one-time uncomfortable conversation that focused mainly on pregnancy prevention or there was no conversation at all.

We have to do it differently for our kids. In order to help our children make ethical, parenting bookresponsible, healthy sexual choices, we need to have open communication. We need to talk to them about all aspects of sex – the physical and the emotional. And this should not be just one “talk,” but an ongoing conversation from an early age. Orenstein gives us a compelling call to action: “Our children deserve better than the distorted, false voices that blare at them … they deserve our guidance rather than our fear and denial in their sexual development. They deserve our help in understanding the complexities and nuances of sexuality.”

She explains that if we, as parents, don’t share our values and views, society will. And the reality is that while our kids won’t show it, they do want to hear from us.

Orenstein sites a 2012 survey of more than 4,000 young people in which most said they wish they’d had more information, especially from Mom and Dad, before their first sexual experience. They particularly wanted to know about relationships and the emotional side of sex.

Read the book and begin the conversation. For more information, visit the book’s page on Amazon here.

Recycling Clothes With Love

Published

By Donna Tetreault

community news

An 8,000-square-foot shop in Long Beach is helping families recycle kids’ clothes. PHOTO COURTESY GREEN JEAN KIDS

Imagine a world where moms and dads could clothe their children for just $7. In Long Beach, at Green Jean Kids, this is happening every day. Founder and CEO Rebecca Juarez explains that clients bring in 25 pieces of clothing that their kids have outgrown, then select 25 gently used pieces of clothing in their child’s current size from the shop, and they’re out the door for a charge of only $7.

Juarez opened Green Jean Kids in 2015 and now serves 600 to 700 families all over Long Beach and the surrounding area, and as far east as the San Gabriel Valley. The nonprofit charges its minimal admission fee to pay rent for the 8,000-square-foot space at 1090 E. Pacific Coast Highway that houses about 20,000 pieces of clothing for children from birth to age 10. “Most people love our program. We have regulars, so we’ve had moms come in as many as 10 times since we opened,” says Juarez.

Her goal is to help families in need and help parents make sure that their kids have clothes for school. “Nobody wants their kid to look like they are struggling,” Juarez says. “You don’t want that reflected in your child. So, this gives them the opportunity that they might not have otherwise.”

Green Jean Kids also has an outreach program. Juarez and volunteers give away clothes at 15 nearby schools each year and to up to 500 families at Christmas. “It’s a labor of love,” says Juarez. “It’s definitely a lot of work. You have to be able to feel the reward in the satisfaction of what you are doing every day, seeing the kids excited.”

This hand-me-down program is also great for the environment, and Green Jean Kids is expanding to include maternity clothing. Office hours are Thursday and Friday mornings and Saturday afternoons by appointment only, and you can learn more at www.greenjeankids.org.

“It’s the only thing I can see doing for the rest of my life,” Juarez says of her endeavor. “I just love it.”

Anti-bullying App Saves Kids a Seat

Published

By Ronna Mandel

tech for kidsNavigating the school cafeteria can be stressful. But for 16-year-old Natalie Hampton, who lives in Sherman Oaks and was verbally, physically and cyber bullied during middle school, lunch was one of the worst parts of the day. Being seen eating by herself didn’t help. “I felt vulnerable and worthless. I also think being excluded branded me as a target for bullying,” says Hampton. Her experience led her to create the empowering free app, “Sit With Us.”

Hampton switched schools in ninth grade and began making friends, then couldn’t help but invite kids eating lunch alone to join her at her table. Seeing the positive effects this had inspired her to invent the app, which helps kids find open lunch tables where they’ll be welcomed. “It’s all very private and discreet, and no one needs to know that you are using it,” she says. Hampton believes student-led anti-bullying initiatives are more effective than lunch monitors or written policies, and says studies have proven this to be true. “I believe every school has upstanders like me who want to take steps to make other kids feel included,” says Hampton.

“Sit With Us” users create a profile page, type in their school and school address, and find an open community under a “featured” tab. “Anyone who takes the Ambassador’s pledge agrees to post open lunches from time to time and make anyone who joins feel welcome,” says Hampton. “Ambassadors get a special star on their profile pages. Users can also coordinate lunches with friends and use a chat function.” The app is available in the Apple store, with an Android version coming soon.

Now Hampton can walk across her campus, see new people coming together and becoming friends and know that, thanks to “Sit With Us,” kids are making their schools more warm and inclusive.

Three Everyday Questions for Your Kids

Published

By Daniella Guzman

parenting“How was school? How was your day?” That’s what I eagerly ask my 5-year-old daughter every day when I pick her up from school. My anticipation of an exciting and enthusiastic answer is quickly shot down when I get the same answer every time: a simple and monotone, “good.” That’s just not going to cut it. I need more than that!

In my quest to find out what’s really on her mind, who she’s playing with, who’s not being nice to her, what’s upsetting her and what moves her and gets her excited, I decided to dig deeper and start up a different type of conversation.

With Sofia now in kindergarten and in four different extracurricular activities, two days a week of mommy-and-me classes with baby Olivia, my traveling husband and my busy work schedule, we are pulled in different directions. To keep our family connected and strengthen our bond, my husband and I came up with three important questions each of us casually ask and answer at the dinner table. This helps us open the lines of communication with one another every night.

How did you help and serve someone?

We came up with this question to make sure Sofia – and, one day, Olivia – knows what we believe is our true purpose in life. Show love. Be helpful. Be compassionate, thoughtful and sensitive. None of that comes naturally to children. Asking your kids this question sets the expectation that helping and serving others is something we should be doing on a daily basis. My grandfather used to say to me, “It isn’t enough to just be human, you have to be humane.”

How did you fail today and what did you learn from it?

We all have bouts of failure and we know as our kids are learning about life, they will experience failure – from falls on the playground to making bad choices. My husband and I want our girls to confront failure and not to be afraid of feeling defeated. We ask this question to cheer on the glory of overcoming our failures. Here is a recent real-life example.

Sofia: I told my friend Harper she’s not my best friend anymore because she didn’t want to share the swing. I saw her cry and I apologized and told her a joke to make her laugh.

Me: It’s great you realized your words can hurt people, even if we don’t mean what we say. Now tell me the funny joke.

What about your day made you happy and feel good?

We intentionally save this question for last because we like to end with a positive feeling. This is a great opportunity for us to celebrate our good fortunes, our victories and what makes us happy. It helps our kids learn to appreciate when good things happen to them.

One day, we asked this question and my husband said it made him happy to be able to take our daughter Sofia to school each morning. She suddenly seemed to realize and appreciate the time she has with her dad every morning as they sing and play games in the car on their way to school.

Try asking questions that best fit your family, and be consistent. For us, a reminder to always be helpful, recognize our failures and celebrate our triumphs around a bowl of spaghetti at the dinner table is enough to help us feel connected and united.

Although the answers to these questions may change over time as our girls get older, the love, acceptance and support we give each other will always remain the same.

Daniella Guzman is the anchor on NBC4 Southern California’s “Today in LA” weekday morning newscast, 4:30-7 a.m. A mother of two, Daniella’s column, On the Record, brings her views on parenting, fun family activities and her take on work-life balance. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram @daniellanbcla.

 

Easy Fish Tacos from “100 Days of Real Food”

Published

By Elena Epstein

family-friendly recipesAs moms on the go, we’re always looking for healthy meal ideas that are also easy to cook. “100 Days of Real Food: Fast & Fabulous: The Easy and Delicious Way to Cut Out Processed Food” by Lisa Leake gives us exactly what we we’re looking for – quick and tasty recipes for breakfast, lunch, dinner, desert and snacks. We also love the beautiful color photos with every recipe – great inspiration to get cooking!

The selection of recipes is diverse and includes a yummy veggie cream cheese sandwich perfect for school lunches, cinnamon raisin scones, chocolate banana pops, creamy mac and peas and slow cooker chicken tortilla soup.

The book also includes seasonal meal plans, shopping lists and a resource section with easy guidelines on supermarket shopping, food prep guides and storage cheat sheets.

Leake is the creator of the 100 Days of Real Food blog, which she started to prove a regular suburban family could survive without processed food. Her pledge eventually led to her first book, the New York Times Bestselling cookbook, “100 Days of Real Food.”

For more information or to purchase the book, visit: Amazon/100 Days of Real Food

family-friendly recipesEasy Fish Tacos with Pico de Gallo

For years I claimed I did not like fish tacos, but I’m here to report that I’ve come to my senses. This is one of my husband’s favorite dishes, so little by little (bite by bite of his) I warmed up to the idea. Now I’m excited to share this super easy version that’s quick enough to throw together on any busy weeknight!

Difficulty: Easy

Prep time: 15 to 20 minutes

Cook time: 8 to 10 minutes

Makes 4 or 5 servings

DAIRY-FREE (IF OLIVE OIL IS USED INSTEAD OF BUTTER)

NUT-FREE

PICO DE GALLO

1 medium tomato (about 1/2 pound), seeded and diced

1/2 cup diced white onion

1/2 serrano or jalapeño pepper, seeded and minced

1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro

1 tablespoon fresh lime juice

Pinch of salt

FISH

1/2 cup whole wheat flour

1 ½ teaspoons chili powder

1/2 teaspoon ground cumin

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper

1 pound white fish (such as cod, rockfish, or tilapia), cut into 1- to 2-inch chunks

2 to 3 tablespoons butter or olive oil

1 lime, halved

Warm whole-grain corn or flour tortillas, for serving

  1. Make the pico de gallo: In a medium bowl, toss together all the ingredients.
  2.  Prepare the fish: Mix the flour and seasonings on a plate. Dip the fish chunks into the flour to coat on all sides. Transfer to a clean plate.
  3.  In a large sauté pan, melt the butter over medium heat. Add the fish and cook until the fish is a golden brown on the bottom, 3 to 4 minutes (depending on the thickness of the fish). Flip and cook until it is golden brown on the other side and the center is white, flaky, and cooked all the way through, 7 to 8 minutes total (depending on the thickness). Add more butter to the pan if necessary to keep it from drying out. Squeeze the lime on top.
  4.  Serve the fish with warm tortillas and freshly made pico de gallo.

When a Baby Dies: Honoring Pain & Healing Hearts

Published

By Colleen Weeks

family loss

Perinatal bereavement counselor Colleen Weeks, pictured here 35 years ago with her daughter Jasmine, says Jasmine’s loss helps her connect with other parents during their darkest moments. PHOTO COURTESY COLLEEN WEEKS

I know firsthand the pain that comes from the death of a child. Thirty-five years ago, I said goodbye to my beloved daughter Jasmine. I will never forget the privilege of carrying life within me, feeling her every move, giving birth, nursing her at my breast and having her be an important part of our family for six months.

Jasmine’s death is one that I still grieve, but as a perinatal education specialist, it’s one that guides me and helps me connect with other parents during their darkest moments. I, too, know that the loss of a baby is also the loss of plans and dreams made, a future that will never be lived.

Understanding Grief 

Grief is a strong, often overwhelming emotion that can numb us and inhibit us from carrying on with daily life. It can cause a wide range of emotions – shock and denial, anger, depression and detachment, sadness, disappointment, guilt and a struggle to find meaning. Grief is disorderly, irrational and lifelong. Grief can affect not only our emotional well-being, but also our physical and spiritual health. Just like healing from a physical injury, grieving a loss is something that takes time.

A Mother’s Grief

When a baby dies, the axis of the world shifts completely off center for a mother, both physically and emotionally. The baby is a physical part of the mother’s body, growing within her during pregnancy. Her entire system changes to accommodate the growing baby, her hormones, shape, breasts; with it, her thinking changes to love, nurture and bond with her newborn well before it’s born. The loss she’s experienced is uniquely personal. Having the support, love and comfort of others is something that will allow her to grieve on her own terms.

The Forgotten Grievers

We often refer to fathers, siblings and grandparents as the “forgotten grievers.” While it’s natural for people to ask about the mother and her emotional wellness, we often inadvertently forget to ask other loved ones how they’re feeling. In the case of the father, he too has lost his child and he’s left feeling like it’s his responsibility to hold everything and everyone together. This pressure often interferes with or delays his expression and understanding of his feelings of grief.

If there are siblings, their experience will be dependent on their age and ability to comprehend the loss. They will need a loving adult to whom they can talk to and someone who can explain to them what has happened. While children can be resilient and adaptable to change, the loss of a loved one can create confusion and have a lasting impact. And lastly, we need to remember that the grandparents experience a double loss. Not only have they lost a grandchild, but they are also devastated as they see their adult children in such pain.

Finding a New Normal

People often ask if it’s possible to overcome the loss of a child, and this is something I struggle to answer. We all grieve differently. So, rather than thinking of “overcoming a loss” as an actual moment or event in time, it’s important for families to find a new normal and a path to return to a meaningful fulfilling life. Over time we find ways to incorporate the reality of sadness into our normal happy day-to-day experience without making it the focus of who we are and how we are defined. By doing so, we’re able to move forward. By acknowledging the reality of our sadness, we honor the value of our loved one and, by finding a new normal, we place value on our own life and strength.

Say This, Not That

Bereaved parents need love and care and often are avoided due to fear. Know that there is nothing you can say or do that will make the pain go away. Don’t try to fix things, minimize the loss or ignore it. Rather, acknowledge the loss and express yourself in your own heartfelt way. Just say, “I’m so sorry” and give them a hug. They will be grateful.

Colleen Weeks, , LCCE, FACCE, CLE, CSE, RTS, is a certified childbirth and lactation educator, perinatal bereavement counselor  and Perinatal Education Manager at Kaiser Permanente Orange County Medical Center.

AAP’s New Sleep Recommendations Say Rooming-In is Best

Published

Submitted by the American Academy of Pediatrics

kids' health

Infants should sleep in the same bedroom as their parents – but on a separate surface, such as a crib or bassinet, and never on a couch, armchair or soft surface – to decrease the risks of sleep-related deaths, according to a new policy statement released by the American Academy of Pediatrics Oct. 24.

“SIDS and Other Sleep-Related Infant Deaths: Updated 2016 Recommendations for a Safe Infant Sleeping Environment,” draws on new research and serves as the first update to Academy policy since 2011.

Recommendations call for infants to share their parents’ bedroom for at least the first six months and, optimally, for the first year of life, based on the latest evidence.

The report includes new evidence that supports skin-to-skin care for newborn infants, addresses the use of bedside and in-bed sleepers and adds to recommendations on how to create a safe sleep environment.

“We know that parents may be overwhelmed with a new baby in the home, and we want to provide them with clear and simple guidance on how and where to put their infant to sleep,” says Rachel Moon, MD, FAAP, lead author of the report. “Parents should never place the baby on a sofa, couch or cushioned chair, either alone or sleeping with another person. We know that these surfaces are extremely hazardous.”

Approximately 3,500 infants die annually in the U.S. from sleep-related deaths, including sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), ill-defined deaths and accidental suffocation and strangulation. The number of infant deaths initially decreased in the 1990s after a national safe sleep campaign, but has plateaued in recent years.

AAP recommendations on creating a safe sleep environment include:

  • Place the baby on his or her back on a firm sleep surface such as a crib or bassinet with a tight-fitting sheet.
  • Avoid use of soft bedding, including crib bumpers, blankets, pillows and soft toys. The crib should be bare.
  • Share a bedroom with parents, but not the same sleeping surface, preferably until the baby turns 1 but at least for the first six months. Room-sharing decreases the risk of SIDS by as much as 50 percent.
  • Avoid baby’s exposure to smoke, alcohol and illicit drugs.
  • Skin-to-skin care is recommended, regardless of feeding or delivery method, immediately following birth for at least an hour as soon as the mother is medically stable and awake, according to the report.

Breastfeeding is also recommended as adding protection against SIDS. After feeding, the AAP encourages parents to move the baby to his or her separate sleeping space, preferably a crib or bassinet in the parents’ bedroom.

“If you are feeding your baby and think that there’s even the slightest possibility that you may fall asleep, feed your baby on your bed, rather than a sofa or cushioned chair,” says Lori Feldman-Winter, MD, FAAP, member of the Task Force on SIDS and co-author of the report.

“If you do fall asleep, as soon as you wake up be sure to move the baby to his or her own bed,” she says. “There should be no pillows, sheets, blankets or other items that could obstruct the infant’s breathing or cause overheating.”

While infants are at heightened risk for SIDS between the ages 1 month and 4 months, new evidence shows that soft bedding continues to pose hazards to babies who are 4 months and older.

Other recommendations include:

  • Offer a pacifier at nap time and bedtime.
  • Do not use home monitors or commercial devices, including wedges or positioners, marketed to reduce the risk of SIDS.
  • Infants should receive all recommended vaccinations.

Supervised, awake tummy time is recommended daily to facilitate development.
 “We know that we can keep a baby safer without spending a lot of money on home monitoring gadgets but through simple precautionary measures,” says Moon.

The Importance of Sticking with Enrichment

Published

By Sarika Chawla

enrichment

Many students at North America Chinese Education Center don’t have a Chinese background, but their parents want them to learn the language as a tool for future opportunities. PHOTO COURTESY NORTH AMERICA CHINESE EDUCATION CENTER

When interest fades, should kids quit or power through? 

When Natasha Vogt, a San Fernando Valley mother of two, watched her younger daughter enthusiastically perform in her dance recital, she breathed a sigh of relief. Earlier, her 4-year-old had decided she wanted to quit tap and ballet lessons, but had been convinced to stick with it at least until her recital.

“She enjoyed being on stage so much that we were sure she would continue. But then she still said, ‘Nope, I’m done,’” says Vogt.

Vogt recalls the parental dilemma this created, wanting to teach her daughter a lesson about commitment but also not wanting to force her to continue an activity. “We had paid through the month and even bought new tap shoes,” Vogt says. “It wasn’t even that she didn’t like the class, but I think she wanted to test her control.”

Vogt decided the best solution was to allow her daughter to finish the recital then skip her remaining classes, but make it clear that those missed classes wouldn’t be replaced by free playtime. “My daughter and I had also talked about completing dance before moving on to other activities like gymnastics or horseback riding,” she says. “Since she didn’t finish dance, we’re not going to try anything new for a while, although I don’t know how long I can hold my ground.”

Whether or not to make a child continue with extracurricular activities they no longer seem to enjoy is a struggle familiar to many parents. Children’s interest isn’t always consistent. They might be enthusiastic about an activity, then suddenly getting them to participate becomes a battle of wills – and it’s up to you to figure out why. Does your child really no longer enjoy this activity? Is it just because he missed naptime today? Is she still small enough to carry kicking and screaming to the car and hope for the best when you get to class?

Let Younger Kids Explore

enrichment

Creation Station Studio City dance studio offers ongoing classes with open enrollment, making it easier for students to give dance a try. PHOTO COURTESY CREATION STATION

As a mother of four, Amy Kriegel, co-founder of Creation Station Studio City dance studio, has seen this type of struggle from every perspective, personally and professionally.

“When younger kids are no longer interested in class, it can present itself as acting out or simply, ‘I don’t want to go,’” she explains. “My first reaction is, ‘Is the fight worth more than the class?’ We have enough battles as parents, so listen to your child and if it’s not fun, it’s not worth doing.”

Kriegel, who works with kids from 18 months to 13 years, says that until age 5 or so, parents should let their kids try as many activities as possible. When they are 6 or 7, you can consider focusing on specific activities. “At that age, you may not see the skills yet, but you see the desire and they’re old enough to make choices about what they want to do,” she says. “I’m not saying let your child make all the decisions, but give them a lot of options to make an educated opinion.”

She also points out that not every activity needs to be viewed as a long-term or year-round commitment. A curriculum that involves a monthly or six-week payment schedule can offer enough time to determine whether your child will truly latch onto an activity. And if he doesn’t, stepping away feels a lot more palatable.

As kids get older, their schedules naturally fill up with the day-to-day of school and homework, plus extracurricular activities. At that point, finding that sweet spot between scheduled activities and free time becomes an even more complex balancing act.

Cultivate Older Kids’ Dedication

Dawn Barnes, who has run the popular Dawn Barnes Karate Kids program in several Los Angeles locations for more than 30 years, has noticed a positive shift in parents’ attitudes when it comes to scheduling their kids’ time. “Twenty years ago, it was all about how many activities you could get your child into, and I would tell parents, ‘I think it’s better to be good at one or two things rather than mediocre at five,’” she says.

enrichment

At Dawn Barnes Karate Kids, students have ample opportunity to learn about setting and accomplishing goals.  PHOTO COURTESY DAWN BARNES KARATE KIDS

But in the recent generation, she’s noticed families adopting more flexible attitudes toward incorporating free time, which ultimately makes it even more important to show dedication to chosen activities. “It’s good for kids to have a lot of different experiences, but it’s a very valuable life skill to learn about goal setting and accomplishing those goals,” says Barnes. “We don’t want them to stay if they’re not having a good time, but we also don’t want them to get in the habit of jumping around and not be able to commit to something.”

Psychologist Melissa Johnson, Ph.D., of The Institute for Girls’ Development in Pasadena, agrees. “When to hang in and when not to is such an important life skill,” she says. Johnson points to a philosophy called the “growth mindset,” coined by Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck, which suggests that “fixed traits” of brains and talent are only a starting point, and that abilities can be developed through commitment and hard work.

“As kids get older, one of the things that makes them uncomfortable is the fear that they’re not going to do something well,” Johnson says. “We want to foster this growth mindset that allows for the realistic possibility of failure, and that it takes a lot of effort to develop a skill and have fun with it.”

That said, Johnson also encourages parents to listen and engage with their kids about their interest level, whether that’s about trying something new or deciding whether or not to continue an activity. “We put things into balance by helping our children get to know themselves well enough so they can make those decisions about how they want to spend their time,” says Johnson. “That’s something you can start early, and it gets to be a more sophisticated conversation in middle and high school.”

Help Kids Persist to Build Skills

Families also need to find a way to balance artistic and athletic activities with more academic pursuits – which can be a challenge on top of daily school and homework demands, but can be important for kids’ development.

enrichment

PHOTO COURTESY FACEBOOK.COM/UCODECOM

At UCode, a STEM-based program with several locations around the Los Angeles area, kids as young as 5 (or even younger based on their reading level) can learn to create apps, websites and games. But with the stigma around children and screen time, is it even appropriate to carve out time for yet another screen-based  activity?

“Parents are coming to us because their kids are into technology and they want to turn that passion into something productive,” explains UCode “Growth Hacker” Jessa Santangelo. “Instead of being consumers, they get to be creators of technology.”

As with other types of enrichment, coding can involve a steep learning curve where kids who initially express excitement can hit a patch of frustration. In class and at home, Santangelo recommends encouraging students to “push through it, because there’s a huge reward when they accomplish something.” The Ucode curriculum includes code with bugs purposely built in to help kids figure out how to solve problems on their own.

Then there are the academic programs that may or may not align with a child’s personal interest. Lucy Liao owns and operates the North America Chinese Education Center in Van Nuys, teaching Chinese language to children as young as age 3. Many of Liao’s students don’t have a Chinese background, but their parents are keen on giving them tools for future business opportunities. She explains that while the younger kids tend to learn language through games, song and play, interest can flag as older kids enter more challenging realms like learning to write out Chinese characters.

“Around high school, I see children who change their priorities. Perhaps they don’t want to follow their parents’ direction or they get busier with school and SAT prep,” says Liao. “But often times, they realize how important this skill is and come back to it later.”

And therein lies the life lesson. Most adults can recall at least one activity they regret giving up as a child – not because they could have been the next maestro, but because it was a skill that was once within reach and now is lost.

For our children, the complexities of time, money and ever-evolving developmental growth make it impossible to predict where those “lost” skills might cause future regret. Experts seem to agree that our best bet is to let kids try various activities at a young age, encourage them to power through the inevitable learning curve, and ultimately give them the tools to make informed decisions on how they want to spend their time and energy.

Sarika Chawla is an L.A.-based writer, editor and mom of two.

Sunny Lee: Raising Money-Savvy Kids

Published

By Elena Epstein

kids money tips

Sunny Lee with her husband, Thomas, and twin sons, Jason and Matthew, was inspired by her parents’ financial struggles. PHOTO COURTESY SUNNY LEE

Sunny Lee, the youngest of four children, grew up in a small village in South Korea. Watching her parents, factory and construction workers, scrimp to just barely meet their basic needs, Lee decided early on that she would use education, hard work and sheer determination to become financially independent. The Rancho Palos Verdes resident began her career as a journalist and later became a financial advisor. Her vigilance about money management became even more profound when her twin boys were born 12 years ago. The connection between hard work and earing money, saving and investing is woven into the fabric of Lee’s parenting. She also volunteers her time to teach financial literacy to students in inner-city L.A. schools. In her new book, “Is Your Child a Money Master or a Money Monster?” she writes about her methods for motivating kids toward financial success. Her approach to money lessons includes an allowance chart, incentive and finance book projects, family meetings to set and evaluate specific goals and a four-badge reward system.

What’s your biggest wish for your sons in regards to money?

To instill in them the value of working hard, finding a purpose and having the self-discipline to reach their goals. I want them to feel rich in the sense of their accomplishments. Our greatest mission as parents is to equip our children for the world. Teaching our children to manage their money is one of the greatest gifts we can give them.

You present an intricate system of tying chores, money, responsibility and motivation together. Did you ever think, “This is too much for kids”?

I did, and I know many readers will feel overwhelmed at first, but I look at the big picture. Teaching your kids about money is the same as teaching your kids to ride a bike or to swim. You have to do it step by step, and you have to start at a young age. Parents are their children’s biggest influence, and it is our job to plant the seed of financial well being.

What are your top money principles for your sons?

Money is earned, not given. Money is a vehicle to make our lives comfortable and enjoyable. You become rich by adding value to others. Share with others.

You write about developing a “money mindset.” Tell us about that.

Money mastery begins with our thoughts. If you have positive thoughts about money—that there is enough of it for everyone and that being financially secure is not about luck or fate, but directly related to your hard work—then you begin to have control over your money.

How can parents be good money role models?

Our children are watching us, copying us. They notice all the little things. We have open conversations with our boys about money and how we allocate our money for different things. We talk about our retirement savings and college savings and donating to our church. We are very transparent about our financial decisions. Parents shouldn’t be afraid to talk to their kids about money.

For more resources, tools and videos from Sunny Lee and her twin boys, visit www.nomoneymonster.com.

Girlfriend Getaways: Moms’ Time Out

Published

By Ann Britton Campbell

girlfriend getaways

There’s great food, drinks and live music on offer most nights in Sonoma. PHOTO COURTESY SONOMA COUNTY TOURISM

This Sonoma girlfriends’ getaway is perfect for pals with a personality.

Repeat after me: “I deserve a break from my momly duties. My girlfriends deserve a break. We are awesome, therefore we should do awesome things on our break.”

Of course, escaping your family’s hectic schedule is not easy, nor is coordinating a getaway with busy friends. And finding a location not too far from home with activities that appeal to your posse’s style can be challenging.

Fortunately, the Fairmont Sonoma Mission Inn and Spa exists to make your life easier – and a whole lot more fun.

Earlier this fall, my gal pal Robyn Green and I visited Sonoma on a girlfriend getaway. Our home base was the Fairmont, a low-slung, Spanish-Mission-style property with wooden benches dotting the manicured grounds (perfect for sitting and sipping our latest winery find). We avoided girlie clichés – shopping and spa treatments – and instead chose activities that appealed to different sides of our personalities: mojo-seeking, fitness-focused and wine-loving.

So pick a theme, round up your mob and go. Remember, you deserve this.

Start Your Engines

“Drive it like you stole it,” says Dane Rudolph, the lead instructor at the Audi Autocross Challenge. He has watched me complete a cautious lap on the twisty-turny autocross track and is now urging me to get more aggressive. “Trust the car,” he says. “Don’t overthink the technical. Keep hustling.”

Despite years of carpool driving that have obviously impacted my ability to put the pedal to the metal, Rudolph’s advice hits the right chord. My next two laps are fast and furious.

Robyn (who is way, way outside her comfort zone in a fast car) is up next. She exhales one big, nervous breath, grabs the steering wheel and hits the gas.

The Audi Autocross Challenge proves to be an absolute gas for us both. We begin with a short “here’s what you got yourself into” briefing in the swish Audi Forum facility overlooking Sonoma Raceway. Before my anxious friend can bolt for the door, we’re pulling on racing helmets and heading to the Paddock, an asphalt-covered expanse where two pylon-lined racing courses await.

girlfriend getaways

Robyn Green is all smiles when the class hits the Sonoma Raceway track. PHOTO BY ANN BRITTON CAMPBELL

Our class of 16 pairs off and we take turns roaring around the pylons in Audi TTS model cars. After each lap we pause for advice – hit the brakes hard at the corners, steer toward the apex, accelerate out of the turns – then peel off for another run. All this practice culminates in a timed relay race that leaves Robyn and me feeling a whole lot more competent, cool and, yes, powerful.

There’s more power to inhale when we shift on to the raceway’s 2.52-mile professional track and into Audi S4 and S5 models. For three adrenaline-inducing laps we chase a pace car up curving hills, through tight corners, over undulations and down straightaways.
The final activity, sitting in the passenger seat while an instructor drives an Audi R8 on one screaming-fast lap of the track, has me holding on for dear life – and wanting more.

 

So what does Robyn, the woman who (until today) detested driving fast on freeways, have to say about the whole driving-school experience? “Exhilarating. Confidence boosting. Wicked.”

Later, we’re still on racecar highs when we head into the town of Sonoma in search of some moto-mama-worthy nightlife.

First stop is the Hopmonk Tavern beer garden for samosas, salads and glasses of Bear Republic Pace Car Racer beer. (How could we not order racer beer?) We scour the week’s live music listings and are sorry to see we’ve missed by one night Danny Click and the Hell Yeahs are performing at Rossi’s 1906 dance hall.

Instead, we head to the Sonoma Speakeasy, a tiny venue reached via an alley off the town’s central plaza. Talented singer-keyboardist Dallis Craft is on stage, joined at various times by locals playing the saxophone, accordion and guitar. My favorite moment is when Speakeasy owner Jodi Stevens steps out from behind the bar and belts out a raise-the-roof cover of “Lady Marmalade.”

Our final stop is Steiner’s Tavern, a local dive bar that’s loud and lively (and really not that dive-y). We order glasses of whiskey, spy an available pool table and agree that, heck yeah, smacking billiard balls around the felt is a perfect way to end this kickass day.

Spin and Soothe

Despite our high-octane embrace of Sonoma nightlife the previous evening, Robyn and I are up and ready for the Fairmont’s 8 a.m. bicycle tour.

girlfriend getaways

Indulge in the adults-only oasis with thermal mineral pools at the Fairmont Sonoma Mission Inn & Spa. PHOTO COURTESY FAIRMONT SONOMA MISSION INN

We meet our guide, Dan Cortright, at the Fairmont’s curving entranceway. In a jiffy he adjusts the seats on the BMW-branded bicycles provided by the Inn and we’re off.

 

It’s a two-hour spin along quiet city streets, down a walking/biking path that follows a former railway line and, at our farthest point, up a short hill to Gundlach Bundschu Winery and its sweeping views.

Cortright sets an easygoing pace and there’s time to savor Sonoma’s fresh air, chattering birds and picture-perfect vineyards. We stop at interesting sights and Cortright shares a great mix of historical and contemporary stories. He seems to know so much about wine that I ask him if he works in the industry. “No,” he replies, “I just live here.”

After the cycle, Robyn and I extend the easygoing pace with a visit to the adults-only oasis that is the Fairmont Willow Stream Spa.

Although tempted, Robyn and I walk past the spa’s well-appointed fitness center on our way to the bathing ritual. For an hour, we move through a series of self-guided stations: hot mineral soaking pools, an herbal steam room, a dry sauna and a tunnel shower that shoots water from all sides and – in what Robyn and I label our “Flashdance” moment – dumps a bucket of cold water over our heads when we pull the dangling cords.

The final station in the bathing ritual is a seductive relaxation room (think reclining lounge chairs, low lights, soothing music, trippy video display). We do not want to leave the room. Ever.

Luckily, we find more opportunities to chillax during a water yoga class in the spa’s outdoor Watsu pool.

Our instructor, Elizabeth, guides us through familiar poses – tree, child, lotus, bow – that feel entirely different in the water. The final 10 minutes we float on blue pool noodles, one positioned lengthwise along the spine, the other under our knees.

Later, Robyn and I discuss our new appreciation for pool noodles as we sip Fig Fashioned cocktails at “the girl & the fig” restaurant. Not surprisingly, figs figure prominently in our cocktails (fig liquor is a key ingredient, along with bourbon) and in the French country cuisine that’s made this lively restaurant a must-score reservation for 19 years.

girlfriend getaways

The girl & the fig restaurant serves local wine flights in charming stemware. PHOTO BY ANN BRITTON CAMPBELL

We share everything we order, from the grilled peach and salmon rillette starters, to duck confit and scallops entrees and, finally, fig caramel trifle and cheeses with fig cake. It’s all so delicious.

Blame it on the food, the perfectly paired wines or all the fun we’re having in Sonoma, but when dessert arrives Robyn and I are trading yawns. We take it as a sign that, on this night, our batteries need charging back in our room.

Go Ahead and Wine

Thank goodness the Sonoma Valley Wine Trolley picks up and drops off at the Fairmont. After six hours sampling wines on this trolley tour – and not once using the spit buckets available at the wineries – we’re in no shape to drive.

“Our adult field trip” is how Robyn refers to our day of touring that includes visits to four distinctly different wineries. There’s the intimate Mayo Family Winery where pooches Nibby and Gus greet us in the tasting room, Imagery Estate Winery that impresses with its art-filled labels and facilities, and Ravenswood Winery where winery guide Tammy Cooke leads us into the vineyards and pours samples of wines in situ.

And then there is Buena Vista Winery, a historic property where owner Jean-Charles Boisset, “the Willy Wonka of wine” according to tour guide Melanie, has applied his considerable imagination. There is a two-story tasting room; a labyrinth of caves, some filled with barrels of wine (expected) and others with sculpted hands holding colorful scarves, stuffed birds and a cabinet of aromas and other curiosities (unexpected); as well as a Bubble Lounge that boasts all-white furniture and plenty of crystal bling.

There’s more wine to sample – and an “off the beaten track” side of Sonoma to discover – when we join guide Mia Steiger on a Sonoma Food Tour.

girlfriend getaways

Vella Cheese, famous for its Dry Jack cheeses, is an “off the beaten track” stop on the Sonoma Food Tour.
PHOTO BY ANN BRITTON CAMPBELL

The food (and wine and history) tour begins at the Depot Hotel Restaurant, where Chef Antonio Ghilarducci serves us perfect pizza and shares his family’s long association with the place. “I was raised 14 feet from here,” Ghilarducci says with pride, pointing to the second floor where his parents, who originally ran the restaurant, brought up their children and where he is now raising his own.

Over the course of three hours with Mia we stroll, nibble and sip our way through a series of stops, including the 85-year-old Vella Cheese Company (famous for its dry jack), Figone’s Olive Oil Company (family owned and passionately operated), stylish BUMP Wine Cellar (named after the winemaker’s mother, Betsy Bump) and Enoteca Della Santina wine bar where we admire a 250+ bottle “wine wall” and nosh on gnocchi from the trattoria next door.

At our final stop, Wine Country Chocolates, we are invited to choose a flavored chocolate truffle. After much hemming and hawing, I select one infused with local Zinfandel, surely the right choice in delightfully wine-soaked Sonoma.

Getaway Details

Stay

Fairmont Sonoma Mission Inn & Spa: www.fairmont.com/sonoma 

Play

Audi Autocross Challenge: simracewaydrivingschool.com/programs-experiences/audi-sportscar-experience 

Willow Stream Spa bicycle tour, bathing ritual and water yoga at Fairmont Sonoma Mission Inn: www.fairmont.com/sonoma/willow-stream 

Eat 

Sonoma Food Tour: www.sonomafoodtour.com

the girl & the fig: www.thegirlandthefig.com

Drink 

Sonoma Valley Wine Trolley: www.sonomavalleywinetrolley.com

Hopmonk Tavern: www.hopmonk.com 

Sonoma Speakeasy and American Music Hall: sonomaspeakeasyandamericanmusichall.com

Steiner’s Tavern: www.steinerstavern.com 

Learn More 

Sonoma County Tourism: www.sonomacounty.com

Ann Britton Campbell is an award-winning travel writer and mother of two. Find her on Instagram and Twitter: @DearAnnTravels.

Finding Diversity in Children’s Books

Published

By Thea Fiore-Bloom, PhD.

positive parenting

Actor Karan Brar (“Diary of a Wimpy Kid”) reads at a Los Angeles elementary school. PHOTO COURTESY SAG/AFTRA FOUNDATION

Five Easy Ways to Find Inclusive Reads Your Kids Will Love

“There were tons of brown kids just like me running around the neighborhood where I grew up in East L.A. in the mid-90s, but I never came across a single book about anyone who looked like me until high school,” says Julia Casas, youth services librarian for the Santa Monica Public Library’s Ocean Park Branch.

When Casas, a Latina, cracked the covers of “How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents” as a teen, she was wowed. “I said to myself, ‘These girls have dark skin, I have dark skin. The language the characters speak at home is the same language my family speaks at home.’” Casas became a youth librarian in part to help other kids have that same aha! moment – and to have it at a younger age than she did.

Chinese, African American, Korean, multiracial, Native American, Persian and Pacific Islander kids, among many other young Angelenos, still see few protagonists who look like them in most of the storybooks they encounter.

“If the only books you see featured on reading lists are stories about white kids, and you happen to be a little brown girl like I was, you start to wonder, ‘Where am I on this list? Where am I in this world?’ Diverse kids who get to see themselves reflected in the books they read begin to feel that they matter,” says Casas. “They begin to see themselves clearly and develop more self-esteem.”

But diverse books aren’t just great for diverse kids. “Children who aren’t diverse deserve to read stories about diverse characters too, because all kids benefit from reading what are referred to as ‘mirror’ and ‘window’ books,” says Casas. While mirror books emphasize a child’s inclusion in a group of people who share their culture or life circumstance, “a window book shows you a story about a culture or people different from you, so you get the opportunity to look through a window into somebody else’s world and

positive parenting

Julia Casas became a youth librarian, in part, to help kids who are not white discover books peopled with characters who look and speak like they do. PHOTO COURTESY JULIA CASAS

what life is like for them,” explains Casas.

Great, inclusive children’s books allow children and parents to come away with from their pages with refreshed eyes and awakened hearts. Here are five easy ways to gather great books this fall.

Find the Magic Table 

There is an abundance of beautifully rendered, diverse storybooks out there, but you aren’t going to find many of them at big-chain bookstores. The good news is there are plenty to be borrowed free at your local library or online through interlibrary loan. Many children’s librarians select and display diverse kids’ literature on special tables in their libraries year-round.

Casas lays out a mighty fine, weekly table of kid-loving books. I should know because I loot it regularly. The Casas-curated diversity table has been a go-to resource for me in my work as a volunteer storybook reader to L.A. school kids. My classes have consistently gone gaga over the stories I’ve picked up from what I refer to as “the magic table.” The table has never failed to provide me with exciting stories that often feature heroes and heroines who look and sound like the diverse kids I read to.

Next time you are at your local library, keep your eyes peeled for a similar table in or near the kids’ section. Looking for even more books that will make your kids happy? Do what Casas does. Look for blogs written by librarians.

Find Fabulous Blogs

Casas says librarians make terrific bloggers. “There are so many librarian bloggers out there that are doing fantastic jobs,” she says. “This is why I spend most of my time online reading great blogs rather than writing my own.”

Here’s a list of her current favorite blogs and websites that focus on diversity.

  • Abby the Librarian (www.abbythelibrarian.com): This is also one of my go-tos for storytime planning. I love Abby’s blog because she’ll often include books with everyday diversity in them.
  • The Brown Bookshelf (www.thebrownbookshelf.com): Here you’ll find reviews and news on books written by African American authors or featuring African American characters.
  • Latinxs in Kid Lit (www.latinosinkidlit.com): Check this site for kids books, middle grade, and teen books written by Latinos or featuring Latino characters.
  • Fat Girl, Reading (www.fatgirlreading.com/category/book-reviews): Blogger Angie Manfredi posts thoughtful reviews of kid lit and teen books that often contain diverse characters. Her blog is another of my favorites to turn to for program ideas!
  • Rich in Color (www.richincolor.com): This site showcases young-adult fiction and nonfiction featuring people of color or people from First/Native Nations.
  • We Need Diverse Books (www.weneeddiversebooks.tumblr.com): This is a reliable place to find lots of great resources including book lists and reviews.
  • We’re the People (www.wtpsite.wordpress.com): Check out this site’s diverse summer reading lists.

Parse Professional Reviews

Casas parses through scads of reviews published in magazines such as “Publisher’s Weekly,” “Booklist” and “School Library Journal.” But you don’t have to subscribe to these to do the same. Excerpted reviews from these magazines are often included in the reviews section of a book’s Amazon page. “A lot of professional reviewers are now mentioning if there is diversity in a book or if it lacks diversity,” says Casas. “That helps me in my search for inclusivity as well. I see if the book selection is starred, and I always need to look at the cover. I do judge a book by its cover, especially if I’m going to try to sell it to kids.”

Pay Attention to Parents Like You 

Genuine reader experience can trump professional opinion. Casas supplements professional picks with searches through reviews written by parents. “I usually go to Goodreads.com or Amazon.com, but I will look at any site that’s going to tell me how well-received a book was with somebody else’s own child,” she says. “I want to know: Did their kid really relate to the book or did they think it was boring?”

Pose Questions

Out of gas, out of ideas or have no time to look online? Rest easy, your local children’s librarian has you covered. See the accompanying sidebar for some of Casas’ personal book picks in all age ranges, but she wants parents to know that their opinion and their children’s preferences are what count in the end.

“We as librarians want parents to go home with something they and their kids are excited to read,” she says. “That’s one of the most important and rewarding parts of our job.”

Diverse Reads For All Ages

Julia Casas, Santa Monica Youth Services Librarian and member of several selection committees for the American Library Association, suggests the following:

Early Reader

  • “Ling & Ting” series by Grace Lin (ages 5-8)
  • “Don’t Throw it to Mo!” by David A. Adler (ages 5-8)

Picture Book

  • “Last Stop on Market Street” by Matt De La Peña (ages 5-8)
  • “‘More, More, More’” Said the Baby” by Vera B. Williams (ages 1-7)
  • “Twenty Yawns” by Jane Smiley (ages 3-7)

Middle Grade

  • “Crossover” by Kwame Alexander (ages 9-12)
  • “It Ain’t so Awful Falafel” by Firoozeh Dumas (ages 10-13)
  • “Better Nate than Ever” by Tim Federle (ages 10-13)
  • “Alvin Ho: Allergic to Girls, School, and Other Scary Things” by Lenore Look (ages 7-9)
  • Anything written by Walter Dean Meyers or Jacqueline Woodson

Young Adult

  • “Saving Montgomery Sole” by Mariko Tamaki (ages 12 & up)
  • “Under a Painted Sky” by Stacey Lee (ages 12 & up)
  • “Out of Darkness” by Ashley Hope Pérez (ages 14 & up)
  • “Ms. Marvel volume 1: No Normal” by G. Willow Wilson (ages 12 & up)
  • “A Time to Dance” by Padma Venkatramen

Thea Fiore-Bloom, Ph.D. is a freelance writer, artist and literacy volunteer.

Helping Quiet Students Soar

Published

By Ronna Mandel

education

Author Katie Hurley takes time to catch up with her quiet child during their daily walk-and-talk. PHOTO BY SEAN HURLEY

Support at home and in the classroom can help these thoughtful kids find their voice.

In a loud world dominated by those who speak up, quiet kids can get overlooked, especially in school. These children are often highly observant and great listeners, which helps them collect information so they can succeed when it comes to written work and test taking. They often struggle, however, when group projects, presentations and class participation are required. If this sounds like your child, take heart. There are many ways to help quiet students find their voices.

Talk it Out

Early in each school year, share what you know about your child with the new teacher and fill him or her in about strategies that have helped in the past. “Most teachers appreciate a parent saying ‘I’d love to sit down with you for five minutes,’” says Azizi Williams, assistant director and director of admissions at Sequoyah School in Pasadena. “Teachers are interested in knowing a child’s learning style and parent concerns.”

Meanwhile, you should also talk to your child about her or his quietness. “Quiet shouldn’t be a detriment to learning, but sometimes kids need to understand how their brains work and why their learning style is a good thing,” says Katie Hurley, mom, psychotherapist and author of “The Happy Kid Handbook.” In your discussions, Hurley suggests replacing “quiet” or “introverted” with “thoughtful and observant,” to put a more positive spin on things.

education

Mom Lucy Ravitch doesn’t worry about her quiet 13-year-old daughter, who has lots of friends and is at the top of her class. PHOTO BY CALEB RAVITCH

Changing your child’s personality isn’t your goal. Hawthorne mother of five Lucy Ravitch says her 13-year-old daughter Katrina may be demure but is at the top of her class, has lots of friends and is helpful to others. Katrina’s teachers would love for her to speak up more as they’re certain she’d add interesting insights to most conversations, but they don’t push her. “Katrina’s very creative and a terrific artist but doesn’t like being in the public eye,” says Ravitch. “Her other positive qualities outweigh her quietness.”

Get Creative in the Classroom

At school, reserved students might seem disinterested or appear not to understand the material, but that’s not always the case. Many are deep thinkers, not chiming in until the end of a discussion after carefully considering their contribution. “Quiet children have a lot to offer in the classroom setting,” says Hurley. Some, however, remain silent, thinking they have nothing worthwhile to add.

During circle time at Joyce’s Play Ranch in Redondo Beach, Pre-K teacher Lauren Morales reads stories and asks what might happen next. Having the more verbal children answer first gives quieter students a chance to hear possible answers and develop well-thought-out responses.

Teachers can also minimize stress for reserved students by changing their seating so they’re around encouraging classmates, engaging them in special activities and putting them to work in small, structured groups. “Because reserved students often won’t say they need help, or [speak up when they] have a great answer, non-verbal strategies like a special pre-arranged hand signal give all children the opportunity to participate,” says Williams. “Teachers can also provide scaffolding, offering to stand next to a child during their presentation.”

education

[art: Lauren Morales.jpg] Teacher Lauren Morales of Joyce’s Play Ranch in Redondo Beach often lets more-verbal students set the example for those less inclined to speak up. PHOTO BY KEYERA FRANCIS

Quiet kids can also act as classroom helpers. “Combining passion with the academic setting can help quiet kids shine in large groups,” says Hurley, whose daughter is quiet but creative and artistic and is often called on by teachers to showcase her sketching and help with art periods. Ask teachers if there’s a specific job your child can do to find her role in the classroom environment. An avid reader, for instance, might help organize the classroom library.

Practice At Home

Help your reserved child feel more comfortable speaking up at school by encouraging conversation at home. “Asking specific questions like ‘What was your favorite thing in art?’ or ‘Tell me something good that happened today,’ helps kids open up,” says Morales, as long as you don’t answer for your child or rush them. “It may take a child a good minute or two to really think about how they want to respond.”

If your child faces a public-speaking assignment, help him or her be well prepared. “[Students] can even practice at home by videoing themselves,” says Williams.

You can also use playtime to build speaking skills. Hurley suggests having your child pick a product from the pantry and make a speech to sell it to you. “Through play, kids discover their interests, develop social interaction skills, practice speaking up and working through problems and show their true personalities,” she says. You can also spend one-on-one time with your child shooting hoops, building with blocks, taking a walk or doing other fun things together. Even a bedtime chat or reading together will do. “Quiet kids need a safe space to talk through their big feelings and work through their emotions,” says Hurley. Play time with parents gives them that space.

Praise Progress

education

Hayden Lee, an academic life coach for teens, says shy students should be praised for their progress toward speaking up. PHOTO COURTESY HAYDEN LEE

Hayden Lee, who specializes in academic life coaching for teens in Southern California, says focusing on the process of learning to speak up will help build your child’s self-confidence in academics and in life in general. “If we are basing academic confidence on grades, then that is focusing on the outcome and not the process,” Lee says. “We should praise students’ efforts in the process of speaking up regardless of what their grades are. We want students to get over the fear of being right or wrong and enjoy asking questions in class because it is part of the process of learning.”

Maggie Moore, a South Pasadena third grade teacher, reminds parents to be positive and understanding during this process. Tell your child that you’re in touch with the teacher and that she’s updating you on any progress. “When the child makes an effort, praise them and be proud of them,” Moore says.

When students who are struggling academically have the chance to feel supported and successful, Moore believes they’ll feel more comfortable talking in class. Praising a quiet child when they do respond, whether their answer is right or wrong, often leads to the child participating more later.

Sometimes, though, all it takes is the right environment.

Hurley moved her daughter to a small private school focused on creativity and multiple learning styles for her third-grade year, and the support of her teachers plus practice at home helped her daughter finally find her voice in the classroom setting. “She gives a class presentation every five weeks, and each one is better than the last,” Hurley says. “She’s still the ‘quiet’ one in the crowd, but her teachers and classmates appreciate that part of her. Instead of being forced to speak louder and look up, she’s understood and praised for the person she is. This, more than anything, helped her find her way.”

Ronna Mandel is a La Cañada mother of two and a frequent contributor to L.A. Parent.

Family Recipes: Pancakes On the House

Published

family recipes

Chef Kristina Mikyste of Doma Kitchen serves up fun, multicultural food. The restaurant opens in a new location this month. PHOTOS COURTESY DOMA KITCHEN

Chef Kristina Mikyste of Doma Kitchen shares a fun dish you can top any way you like 

Ricotta cheese is an unusual addition to pancakes, but it is similar to the farmers’ cheese Kristina Mikyste used growing up in Lithuania – in a family of chefs. Needless to say, the family did a lot of cooking. “Especially Sunday,” says Mikyste, “because it’s a family day, so we always cooked. It’s fun.”

These tasty little pancakes (and they will be little) are a fit for any family breakfast. At Doma Kitchen, they come topped with homemade berry syrup (and maybe some bananas and berries). And while the recipe below calls for berries and whipped cream, Mikyste says they are also great topped with caramel sauce, chocolate sauce, maple syrup or Nutella. “It’s just your imagination. Whatever’s in the house,” she says. “It’s a house recipe, it works with everything.”

Want to try them Doma Kitchen style? The restaurant will open at its new location in Marina Marketplace (4325 Glencoe Ave., #8, Marina del Rey) in early October.  Visit their website for more details.

– Christina Elston

 

 

Doma Kitchen’s Ricotta Pancakes 

Serves four hungry people

family recipes1 pound ricotta cheese

1 cup whole milk

4 Tablespoons sugar

4 teaspoons baking powder

⅛ teaspoon vanilla powder or vanilla extract

2 ½ cups flour

¼  cup cotton seed oil or vegetable oil (for frying)

Optional: Fresh berries and whipped cream

Combine the ricotta, milk, sugar, baking powder and vanilla and mix thoroughly.

Add 1 cup of flour at a time and mix thoroughly; repeat until flour is all mixed in.

Heat oil in a frying pan over medium heat.

Cook in batches, scooping one generous tablespoon of batter (or use a #16 scoop) for each pancake into the pan, and cooking 4 minutes. Flip, then cook 4 minutes on the other side.

Place the finished pancakes on plates, topping with fresh berries and whipped cream.

If Your Child Accidentally Sees Online Porn

Published

By Christina Elston

parenting having the talkIf it hasn’t already, it’s going to happen. Your child will type an innocent word into an online search engine, log onto a gaming site or search for a favorite music video and stumble onto photos and video you – and often they – would rather they didn’t see. Tracy Levine Wallace wants you to think about that now.

“Be one step ahead of this,” urges the L.A. mom and sexual and reproductive health educator.

Wallace, who teaches workshops for kids, parents and schools through “Can We Talk Health Ed,” says seeing naked images of people they don’t know is going to be at least “a little startling” for kids of any age, and that around age 10 or 11 a child might start to feel interested in or upset by them. So before you allow your child even a smidgen of online independence, you or another trusted adult should explain that these types of images might accidentally pop up on their phone or computer, and let them know what to do if that happens.

“Tell them, you’re not in trouble, and it’s not wrong, but we want you to come and let us know that this is happening,” says Wallace.

If your child does come to you to report pornography on their device, first thank them. Then do some explaining. In a simple and age-appropriate way, tell your child that the people in these images are actors being paid to play a part, like on TV. Then bring in your values – whether you believe this type of thing is OK for consenting adults or awful for all. For kids over age 10 or so, “you can talk about how these images are portraying connection and intimacy in a very skewed way,” says Wallace, and that this isn’t the type of thing you want them seeing. “Watching those videos is not sex education. It’s not intimacy education. It’s not relationship education,” Wallace says.

Reassure your child that you are going to do what you can – via pop-up blockers or other security software – to make sure this doesn’t happen to them again. And let them know that if it does, they should come to you again and you’ll try something else.

If you’re spooked by the topic, consider tapping your spouse or someone else your child is close with to handle the talk, as long as you make sure the conversation happens. “It’s OK to play to your strengths,” Wallace says. “Don’t just leave them there hanging.”

Learn more about Wallace’s upcoming talks and check out her informative blog at www.canwetalkhealthed.com.

L.A. Mom Designs Dolls Representing the Global Scene

Published

By Carolyn Richardson

girls dolls

The Prettie Girls Dolls! Tween Scene collection features Alexie, Hana, Lena, Kimani, Valencia and Dhara. These hip young girls attend the Dream Academy of Excellence, a school where dreams can come true – as long as you work hard! PHOTO COURTESY TONNER-ONE WORLD

You can learn a lot about a little girl by watching her play with dolls. Stacey McBride-Irby, a Gardena native, played out her love of fashion with Barbie dolls. That love never waned, and after earning a degree in fashion design from Los Angeles Trade-Tech College, she turned her childhood passion into a design career.

McBride-Irby started as a design assistant for Barbie doll toy maker Mattel. “After an interview, I designed a jumpsuit for Barbie and got the job. I began designing clothes and accessories for their career-themed dolls and Disney princesses,” she says.

Playing with Barbie dolls all day was satisfying for McBride-Irby, but she noticed her daughter, Sierra, wasn’t so engaged. “She wasn’t playing with the dolls on her own or with her friends,” McBride-Irby says. She thought Sierra might be more interested in dolls that looked more like her, and set out to design African-American dolls. She pitched the idea to Mattel, and Barbie So In Style was born. The dolls featured a big-and-little-sister duo with fashion- and school-centered accessories.

Although the line was successful, Mattel declined to have McBride-Irby create more dolls of color. Then McBride-Irby met businessman Trent T. Daniel, who established The One World Doll Project in 2011, and the two teamed up to develop Prettie Girls!, a line of dolls that represent cultures from all over the world. The dolls are produced by Tonner-One World.

“The Prettie Girls! have their own individual story, as well as goals and inspirations, which captures the essence of positive attributes that every little girl can embrace,” says McBride-Irby. PRETTIE is actually an acronym for positive, respectful, enthusiastic, talented, truthful, inspiring and excellent. The line includes the 11½-inch Prettie Girls! and the 16-inch Prettie Girls! Tween Scene. They have two more collections in development, Prettie Girls! NYC and The Prettie Girls! Dream Babies.

The dolls and accessory kits are available at WalMart.com and in select WalMart stores. Tween Scene dolls retail for $24 and Prettie Girls! for $13. The accessories kits, which include full outfits, cost $8. For more information, visit tonneroneworld.com or Facebook.com/prettiegirls.

Understanding Asthma

Published

By Alan L. Nager, M.D., M.H.A.

asthma in childrenFlu season generally brings a spike in asthma cases – although asthma can occur year-round – and parents are often confused about this number-one chronic illness of childhood. Educating yourself about asthma is important, because asthma does kill.

Your child is more likely to have asthma if others in your family have it, or if they have allergies or eczema. And you have to know asthma well to manage it. When parents don’t recognize that their child’s symptoms are worsening, they fail to take action and their child ends up in the emergency department.

Start by knowing what triggers asthma episodes in your child. This might include colds, viruses, allergies (to foods, pollen, dust mites or animal dander, for which your child should be tested), irritants like cigarette smoke, and even emotions.

Asthma episodes are generally treated with an inhaler containing a medication called albuterol, along with oral steroids when symptoms start to worsen. You should understand how and when to give these medications – and make sure your child has access to them at school. Often a child will come in to the emergency department with severe symptoms, and the parent will tell us they last gave the medication 12 or 16 hours ago, when they should have been giving it every three to four hours.

Death is most common in people with severe asthma, African Americans and in people with mild asthma who don’t recognize that their symptoms are escalating.

Asthma is defined as a chronic, recurrent, reversible inflammatory disease of the lungs. Symptoms include:

  • Wheezing or signs of inflammation
  • Cough
  • Chest pain
  • Gagging
  • Choking
  • Runny nose
  • Congestion

Another important sign is “retractions,” whereby the notch below the sternum (breastbone and throat), the spaces between the ribs or the abdomen look as if they are caving in when your child tries to breathe. If that’s the case, take them directly to the emergency department.

Kids who have wheezing two or more times per week should also be on controller medications such as inhaled steroids or oral medications that help manage allergic reactions that trigger asthma. Using these medications correctly can help prevent a severe episode.

To learn about this disease, visit the American Academy of Allergy Asthma & Immunology (www.aaaai.org) and the American Lung Association (www.lung.org).

Alan L. Nager, M.D., M.H.A., has been Director of Emergency and Transport Medicine at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles for the past 18 years, and is a professor of Pediatrics at the Keck School of Medicine of the University of Southern California.

Inclusive Programs That Teach All Learners

Published

By Christina Elston

los angeles schools

On campuses run by The Help Group, students face common challenges so friendships form quickly. PHOTO COURTESY THE HELP GROUP

With the right support, students with disabilities can reach their potential 

There was a time when not all children were considered capable of learning, when many students with disabilities were kept out of school completely. “They used to use the term ‘educatable.’ I hated that,” says Lila Schob, who has been an educator for 20 years. “Everyone can be educated. Everyone deserves an education.”

Today, from large public districts to small private campuses, schools across L.A. County are making progress toward that goal of educating all learners.

Finding Their Potential

Schob is a special education teacher at Altadena Elementary School, a full-inclusion campus in the Pasadena Unified School District. She also works Club 21 Learning and Resource Center and with groups of parents, most of whose children are in inclusive classrooms. Schob helps these parents figure out how to support children with cognitive and developmental disabilities at school.

“One of the main questions that come up is, ‘How is my child going to succeed?’” Schob says. “There’s that fear. ‘How is my child going to keep up with the work? What do I do to make it so that they understand?’”

Claudia Koochek, head of Westmark School, a private school in Encino focused on educating students with language-based learning differences, says parents often come to them after watching their children struggle in other settings. “They come in with a lot of fear and anxiety,” Koochek says.

Students trying to learn without the right supports, meanwhile, can spend all their energy just struggling to keep up with the work – with no opportunity to enjoy learning or develop their unique talents. “The child comes in not necessarily knowing what they’re capable of,” says Koochek. “Their brains haven’t really been able to relax and celebrate their strengths.”

Types of Supports

Supports available to help students with physical, cognitive and developmental disabilities and other learning differences seem almost as numerous as the learners themselves. Keri Tapie, coordinator of the Instructional Technology and Assistive Technology Program in the Los Angeles Unified School District, breaks them into “no-tech,” “low-tech,” “middle-tech” and “high-tech.”

No-tech supports include things like slant boards to elevate a desk so a student can write more easily, or a pencil grip to help them hold a pencil. A low-tech audio device might let a student press a button to answer a pre-recorded “yes” or “no” to a classroom question.

A middle-tech portable keyboard goes farther, speaking out the words that students type, or assisting typed speech with pop-up lists of words to select from. High-tech supports include eye-gaze technology, which lets students scan and select answers with their eyes, and even robots that can attend class for students who can’t physically be there. LAUSD has a small fleet of these that students test-piloted last year.

LAUSD also uses Unique Learning System, a set of standards-based interactive online learning tools designed to help students with disabilities access the curriculum.

James Koontz, a specialist in the LAUSD Moderate to Severe Instructional Program in the Division of Special Education, oversaw the distribution of almost 300 “tech tubs” with iPads to help classroom teachers and students access the system last year, and will deploy an additional 300 this fall and 300 more in the final phase.

Unique Learning includes supports such as text-to-speech and interactive tools to facilitate lessons. Koontz says a math lesson might begin with a brief reading that introduces a concept. Then students might be presented with a selection of items and asked to drag the correct amount of money into a box on screen to “purchase” the items. The focus is on real-life situations because, Koontz says, “life is a word problem.” The work is in small groups, with paraprofessionals guiding students.

los angeles schools

At Westmark School, students are supported so that they can celebrate their strengths. PHOTO COURTESY WESTMARK SCHOOL

At Westmark, lessons are presented in a multisensory format. So, a teacher might write instructions on the board, tell students the instructions verbally, and the student will be highlighting or taking notes. Instructions are repeated often but kept brief. “A lot of times we talk too much, and then our student gets lost,” Koochek says. Students who have trouble with transitions are supported by predictable school routines, advance warning of any changes, and classroom use of timers.

Schob, who works in classrooms where students with disabilities are included in the general population, facilitates modifications and accommodations. Students who struggle with memorization, for instance, might be given a modification of 10 spelling words per week to work on, while the rest of the class has 20. Or they might focus only on the beginning sounds, or specific vowels that are in words. “So if they’re working with the long ‘o’ vowel sound, as long as they put the ‘o,’ they should get credit,” she says.

Students who struggle with multiplication might be given the accommodation of a multiplication chart to help them keep up with the rest of the lesson, or might work on “skip counting,” which is counting by twos, fives, tens, etc., and teaches the same beginning skill.

The Value of Peers

One of the values of educational supports is that they allow students to work with material appropriate for their age. Shob isn’t in favor of, for instance, giving a struggling third grader first-grade spelling words. “They’re in third grade. They need to know that material,” she says.

At LAUSD, the Unique Learning System helps high school students with learning differences access age-appropriate material rather than drop down to the elementary curriculum. “Just because kids can’t read at the level of their peers doesn’t mean they aren’t going through the same emotions and feelings,” Koontz says.

At Westmark, all of the students have struggled in past educational settings, and so are especially supportive of their peers. “It’s an amazing, supportive environment,” says Koochek. “We’re giving them the space and the time to discover their learning styles and to own their learning.”

los angeles schoolsPeer support is also key at The Help Group, a nonprofit that operates 10 specialized day schools for pre-K through high school students with autism spectrum disorder, learning and developmental delays and other issues. Students come together in a safe learning environment where kids can take risks and teachers can focus on common challenges. “Social relationships and friendships develop more quickly and are more meaningful,” says Vice President of Programs Jason Bolton, Psy.D.

This means that students, despite their disabilities, help and support one another. “Where there’s strengths in one student, there’s challenges in another,” Bolton says. So a student who struggles in one class might get help from a friend, but then might help that same friend through a challenge in a different class.

Advice For Parents

Parents also play a role in supporting their young learners.

Follow your instincts: If you notice problems, or are hearing your child’s teacher say, “He’s not paying attention,” or “He’s not sitting still,” don’t wait to seek answers or for your child to “grow out of it.” “Follow your instincts. Follow your gut,” says Koochek, who urges parents to seek out an evaluation. If your child is in public school, go to the resource specialist for help. “It’s never too early or never too late.”

Seek out the right program: You are looking for a school that will recognize the needs of your individual child, and address that child’s individual strengths and challenges. “You also want to feel that your voice is going to be heard,” says Bolton, the father of 9-year-old triplets, one of whom attended a Help Group program. You are the expert on your child’s needs. And don’t give up. “This process is not easy. There are times you’ll feel like you’ve turned over every stone, but you haven’t,” Bolton says, adding that L.A. parents are lucky to have many great options. “You will know when your child is in the right place.”

Work with teachers and fellow parents: You are the expert in your child’s abilities and challenges, so you probably already have ideas about how to address them. “Parents have great modifications they already do, that they’ve already done for their first five years,” says Schob. Looking for ideas? Check with your fellow parents, and check out the resources online. “The Internet is your best friend,” Schob says. “Whatever it is you’re struggling with, just type that in: accomodations for multiplication, modification for spelling. Something will come up.” Bring your knowledge and ideas to the teacher in a positive, supportive way and see what you can accomplish together.

And along the way, Shob reminds parents to focus on the progress. “If they make huge steps, celebrate,” she says. “If they make tiny baby steps, celebrate.”

Accomplishment is the goal, because expectations for all students have changed in recent years. The focus has shifted toward helping all learners reach their maximum potential. “No matter how old they are and what their abilities are now, we need to work hard as a community – parents, teachers, students – to get kids to be the most independent they can be,” says Koontz. “We have to be engaging them. We have to be guiding them to be the best they can be.”

Christina Elston is Editor of L.A. Parent.

Celebrating Some Worthy Kids

Published

By Rina Baraz Nehdar

community news

Birthday boy Ian and his mother Breyana Crawford celebrate at a Worthy of Love rooftop party. PHOTO BY RINA BARAZ NEHDAR

At the Union Rescue Mission in Downtown L.A., there is an island built on love. On this island, there are monthly birthday parties on the rooftop. There is a DJ named Boomer who stops playing his upbeat music and has kids and adults turn to one another and remind each other of this love by saying the words out loud: “I love you!”

The party guests are all homeless children and their parents, but for one night, they are just like every other boy and girl with friends and family making them feel special with cake, pizza, presents and games.

Mary Davis and her husband, Ari, founded Worthy of Love, the organization responsible for finding volunteers, money and talent to throw these parties. They met volunteering Downtown and married, but their first pregnancy ended in miscarriage. They decided to turn their misfortune into something positive by celebrating the lives of children whose circumstances wouldn’t otherwise allow it.

community news

Los Angeles Police Department Officer Deon Joseph shares a smile with Worthy of Love co-founder Mary Davis. Members of law enforcement attend and help participants see another side of the police department. PHOTO BY RINA BARAZ NEHDAR

“These kids didn’t choose this,” says Mary. “They have to walk to school with officers holding their hands, having to see people smoking crack and doing drugs on the sidewalks.”

Mary says their first party included 15 kids and they were able to fit into a room inside the shelter. A boom box supplied the soundtrack to the festivities. Soon, the parties grew and they had to find a bigger space to accommodate all the children and their families. “The homeless population is growing,” Mary says.

Union Rescue Mission doesn’t turn anyone away. When they run out of beds, they put families in cots. Many residents, like Breyanah Crawford, pregnant with her second child, have jobs but can’t afford to pay rent. “I used to live with my mom until she got evicted,” says Crawford, who works as a medical assistant. “I had to stop taking overtime because my parents couldn’t pick my son up from school anymore.”

Her son, Ian, was celebrating his 4th birthday at a Worthy of Love party this summer amid actors dressed up as Star Wars characters, airbrush artists adorning shirts with children’s names, backpacks filled with school supplies and music and lights.

Companies donate many of the party supplies and volunteers bring things like pizza and cake. Each party costs about $4,000 for the 150 children who currently participate. Volunteer Stephanie Romagnoli says the parties are a transformative experience. “You’re having a bad day and you come here and you see the kids smile, some of whom have never experienced a birthday party before,” she says.

Toward the end of each party, Davis tells the children and adults to face one another and say, “You are worthy!” “We thought we would bring joy to the kids but they really brought joy to us,” she says. For more information or to make a donation, visit www.worthyoflove.net.

On the Record: The Keep-Your-Cool Challenge

Published

By Daniella Guzman

fullsizerenderA diaper blowout right before you need to leave your house. Bedtime tantrums. The constant need to repeat things like, “Hurry up, let’s go,” and, “Stop doing that!” A daily routine that leaves you so tired you become aggravated at your kids for splashing water at you during bath time.

There are countless ways your kids can make you lose your cool, but your reactions to these parenting trials teach your kids how to respond when they find themselves in tough situations. I’ve had parenting moments when I snap and lash out at my kids, then I feel so much guilt for not controlling my emotions.

You’ve probably seen the “Keep-Your-Cool Challenge” floating around social media. It works wonders in my household. When you’re feeling your mercury rise, try these suggestions.

Tell your kids to take a walk. My Sofia is 5 years old, a little too young to walk on her own, so I ask her to sit down, cool off and think about what just happened. Seven to 10 minutes later, once we’ve both cooled off, I’ll talk to her. It’s my responsibility to choose and control teachable moments even when my patience is being tested.

Give yourself a time-out. Take five minutes and lock yourself somewhere. I listen to a song that will calm me down and tell myself, “You’re in control of your emotions. It’s going to be OK. Stay calm.”

Take a good look. It really helps me when I just sit by my kids and take a really good look at them when they’re not looking. I quickly remember all the reasons I signed up for mommy life in the first place.

Hope for the best, plan for the worst. I always hope Sofia will act appropriately when we’re at a restaurant, but I know she struggles with it. I mentally prepare myself ahead of time to react like a calm adult, so I’m not disappointed when she acts up, and I’m pleasantly surprised if she behaves.

Stick to your routine. I’m not military strict about it, but I try my best to keep similar structure in our day (with some room for flexibility), so my daughters know what to expect. It has really made our weeks and weekends less stressful.

Take care of you! Self-care is not selfish, it is essential. A walk, a short workout, talking to a friend or reading for a few minutes can help you disconnect. I’m a much better mom when I disconnect for a few minutes. It allows me to return to parenting from a more balanced placed.

Remember, they’re still learning how to do life. Expecting my 5-year-old and 10-month-old to behave perfectly all the time is setting us all up for failure and disappointment. I used to be very strict with Sofia about her behavior and decisions. She turned a little resentful and fearful toward my reaction when she would mess up. I did not want to be a grumpy mom, so I started to parent more intentionally and less emotionally. That turned out to be more difficult than I thought, but I work hard at it and we are much happier as a family.

The reality is, you’ll have good and bad days. That’s why it’s called a “challenge.” If you fail, you can always start over and try for a better outcome because we all know our kids will give us plenty of opportunities to make it right.

Daniella Guzman is the anchor on “Today in LA” weekday morning newscast, 4:30–7 a.m. A mother of two, Daniella’s column, On the Record, brings her views on parenting, fun family activities and her take on work-life balance. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram @daniellanbcla

The Push for Passion & Purpose in College Admissions

Published

By Carolyn Richardson

parenting

College Day at Viewpoint School last May showcased the many colleges and universities students planned to attend. PHOTO COURTESY VIEWPOINT SCHOOL

Parenting your child to build an honest college resume starts earlier than you think  to help your student stand out in competitive times 

“We regret to inform you…” Those five words were enough to bring me to tears. I dashed to McDonald’s in the rain and drowned my sorrows with a Big Mac and Hi-C Orange. The rejection letter was from Rice University, the Harvard of the South. I cried long enough for the rain to stop and threw the letter away with the burger wrapping paper.

There isn’t much parents can do to prepare their kids for college decision letters, but helping your child prepare for the application process can make all the difference. With college enrollment up 31 percent since 2000 and high achievers and maxed out GPAs aplenty, admissions officers are finding new ways to wade through the ever-growing pool of applicants.

Good grades and test scores and extracurricular activities are still essentials, but colleges and universities are increasingly looking at not just what applicants have been up to during high school, but why. So how do you set your child up for success in this brave new world? Let passion lead the way – as long as it’s real.

A Spirit of Service

That means choosing community service projects students actually care about. In January, Harvard released a report in which a coalition of college admissions officers bemoaned students’ emphases on success over the common good, and their attempts to “game service.”

“Parents will come to us the summer before their child is about to apply to college [and say], ‘She’s got the sports, she’s got the music, but she hasn’t done any community service, so we’re gonna do some community service,’” says Evelyn Alexander of Topanga-based Magellan Counseling, which helps parents and students navigate the college search process.

One of Alexander’s clients, Zoe Tucker, showed interest in helping the homeless beginning at age 8. When she was old enough to volunteer, at 14, she helped at a soup kitchen, started going to shelters and eventually started her own service project donating hotel toiletries to the homeless. Her sustained focus on one area of service tells a much more compelling story than a single summer community service project. Now a senior at Santa Monica High, Tucker is all set to personalize her college application essays with a story that she can tell passionately.

“You do something because it matters to you. You don’t do something just to check the box,” says Alexander. She suggests listening to your child, as early as age 7, and helping them learn more about their interests. Eventually, the child will take the lead. “When I’m working with a real superstar, there’s always a point at which their parents stopped needing to push them,” Alexander says. “Look for what your child really cares about, rather than what you think would be impressive.”

Encouraging Exploration

parenting

Kylie and Cameron Cipolla, shown here with their parents Bonnie and Bill at Cameron’s high school graduation, pursued theater as their passion. PHOTO COURTESY THE CIPOLLA FAMILY

Bonnie Cipolla followed this model for her daughters, Kylie, 20, and Cameron, 18, who now attend New York University and Belmont University. When they were in the second and fourth grade, they expressed interest in theater. Cipolla, a former dancer and actress, kept their involvement low-key while still allowing them to follow their passion. “I never let them have an agent or ‘do the business,’” she says. Instead, she told her daughters, “If you like doing this, this is the one time in life to work on your craft and really figure out if you like the craft.” That led to more plays through Golden Performing Arts, a Canoga Park-based nonprofit that offers theater programs for ages 6-19.

The Cipolla girls are now Golden Performing Arts camp counselors and mentors to young aspiring actors. Cipolla also exposed them to soccer, Girl Scouts and band throughout middle and high school, yet theater became the passion they pursued into college.

So what happens if your child’s interests aren’t singular? In her senior year, Marcela Riddick, a graduate of The Archer School for Girls, played three varsity sports, did volunteer work, served on student council, worked in a daycare center and developed an app that measures domestic water usage through Archer’s InvenTeam. When I spoke with Marcela, she was days away from presenting her invention at MIT in Cambridge, Mass., and only a week from orientation at Colorado State University, where she’ll study veterinary medicine.

Marcela says she has a passion for all of these activities but learned from her mom, Vivian, how to find focus when necessary. She says her mother encouraged her to pursue every interest, and that helped her gain confidence. “I don’t think a child can really do too much,” Vivian says, “especially when they’re passionate about it. If you don’t allow them to do it and experience different and new things, you then hinder what their experiences are.”

Seeing a student like Marcela accomplish so much can seem daunting, but ultimately encouraging high achievers’ dedication helps them become more agile in every area of life. Rhody Davis, director of college counseling at Viewpoint School in Calabasas, says that with so many high achievers out there, unique experiences and dedication are the key to getting noticed by colleges. “What are students doing at a really high level? Students who are applying what they learn in the classroom in new and exciting ways can be really compelling on a college application,” says Davis.

And if your child’s passion falls outside your area of expertise, there are still ways you can help. “Develop core competencies such as how to write effectively, think critically and how to interact with people from different backgrounds,” Davis says. This will help prepare your child for college interviews.

parenting

Marcella Riddick and her mom, Vivian, relax in the Saban IDEAlab at The Archer School for Girls. Vivian encouraged Marcella to pursue her many passionate interests throughout high school. PHOTO BY ZEKE RUELAS

If your student’s passion seems frivolous to you, try to remain neutral. “Parent the student you have. Don’t get tied to a certain outcome,” Davis says. “You can’t really create a slam dunk applicant to Stanford, Yale or Princeton.”

Time to Apply

Besides helping your student focus on those all-important passions, there is plenty you can do to make the college application process run more smoothly once it’s time. Ruth Grubb, Palisades Charter High School college counselor, gives the following tips:

Consider many schools: Tour college campuses as early as ninth grade so that kids can find out what sort of atmosphere best suits them. Students need to think about campus size, whether the location is urban or rural, far away or close to home, and the local climate.

Check the requirements: The University of California and California State University systems, out-of-state public schools and private institutions each have their own course requirements for applicants. Educate yourself early on so that your child takes classes needed to meet the requirements for schools that interest them.

Organize your files: Consolidate all of your student’s work into one manageable file. Keep track of your child’s activities, accomplishments and leadership positions. Include community service, church involvement, important essays and personal and professional references.

Know how to apply: College App Wizard (www.collegeappwizard.com) helps you keep track of deadlines for essays, testing and financial aid for schools you’re targeting. The Common Application (www.commonapp.org) offers college planning and financial aid guidance, and lets students apply to nearly 700 colleges with one application. The Coalition for Access, Affordability and Success (www.coalitionforcollegeaccess.org) is another free online platform offering tools and streamlining the application process for 53 top colleges.

And then it’s time to let go a little. If you have supported your child’s passions, exposed them to varied experiences, given them communication and time-management skills and kept track of it all along the way, you can probably step back and let your child handle the actual submissions. Students often get tremendous satisfaction from completing the application process, and – whatever the decision – it’s one step toward the independent life they’ll one day lead.

Carolyn Richardson is a mom of three and L.A. Parent’s Assistant Editor.

A Peek Through the Portal

Published

By Kaumudi Marathé

los angeles schoolsHow online monitoring tools are impacting education and families

Remember how your kids sometimes forgot to give you the Friday folder from school or pulled it out on Monday morning for a quick signature before you’d even looked at it? Or was that just my kid? Well, there’s a new Friday folder in town, the online student-parent portal, and families can access it any time they like.

Do parents like this new technology, ignore it, or does its 24-7 availability encourage a more pervasive monitoring of their children’s academics, even as they enter middle and high school? If parents are checking up on kids too much because they now can, is the learning experience hampered? Can students still learn responsibility and prepare for an independent life at college where Mom or Dad aren’t around to bail them out?

Over the last half-decade, Los Angeles-area families with elementary and high school-age children at public, private, charter and independent schools have seen a rapid increase in the use of educational portals. Most L.A. County schools still use a combination of paper, email, automated phone calls and online communication, and middle and high schools in the Los Angeles Unified School District also use a single portal system, the PASSport.

Smaller districts such as Glendale and South Pasadena, individual charters and private/independent institutions have their own unique portals. These include Edmodo, ParentConnection and the Aeries Student Information System. But though the providers may vary, the systems all serve the same purpose. They allow students to electronically access assignments, submit homework and share appropriate content with classmates and teachers, and they give parents remote access to their child’s attendance and academic records. When middle school rolls around, parents’ presence on campus typically shrinks, so the portal also becomes a window into your kids’ school life.

A Delicate Balance

“Students’ potential for success rises when parents have access to the information they need to be involved,” says Samuel Gilstrap at LAUSD’s Office of Communications and Media Relations. “By staying current on attendance, grades, classroom assignments and progress to graduation, parents can have more meaningful conversations with their students about their paths to a successful education.”

Patricia Bentivoglio, upper school director at New Roads, a K–12 progressive college-preparatory independent school with an elementary campus in West L.A. and a high school in Santa Monica, agrees that technology is helpful – if used judiciously. “Software that allows parents to view grades is, I believe, a valuable tool if used properly,” she says. “Students need to manage and feel responsible for their own learning and achievement.” Bentivoglio advises parents to use restraint and avoid checking grades on a daily basis. Those who don’t, she says, “are forsaking the long-term benefit of personal responsibility in favor of the more immediate GPA.”

Eagle Rock mom Sibylle Westbrook agrees. She thinks parent monitoring through the portal tool is best suited for elementary school. “You can stay on top of things and be immediately aware when they don’t understand something or if there is a problem with a particular teacher and offer remedies early,” she says. “Close monitoring is appropriate and probably desired by most elementary school children as they enjoy spending time with a parent and [being] given attention by them.”

los angeles schoolsHowever, Westbrook encourages parents to take a step back during middle and high school and allow kids to find their own way, even at the risk of occasional low marks. Westbrook’s son, a high school junior, and daughter, an eighth grader, attend the Gifted, Highly Gifted and High Ability Magnet at Eagle Rock Junior/Senior High School. “My teenagers do not like to be asked questions about their work,” Westbrook says. “The younger one shows me work she is proud of; the older one wants me to stay out of it completely. They find questions annoying and an intrusion upon their privacy. I am there if they ask for help. Otherwise, I have completely backed off.

“We live in a culture of helicopter parenting that continues even into the college years,” Westbrook adds. “We try to micromanage our children, remove all obstacles from their lives, but in truth we hinder their independence and accountability. Children need to be able to make mistakes and learn how to deal with the consequences. Closely monitoring their work against their will is counter-productive.”

Deborah Carlisle Solomon, an educator specializing in infants and toddlers and the mother of a high-school student, takes things a bit further. “Educating should be left to the teachers,” she says, adding that a parent’s role – even with younger kids – is to “support the child emotionally, give them guidance and encouragement when they need it, and take them to the store to get poster board and glue sticks for their projects.” Older kids, she says, should learn to advocate for themselves and speak to a teacher if they don’t understand the material covered in class or need more time on an assignment.

That laissez faire attitude wouldn’t work for Solange Wills. Her older son is a sophomore at CHAMPS Charter High School of the Arts in Van Nuys, and her younger son is a seventh grader at Larchmont Charter School. “They have difficulty organizing their time and would rather do other things than homework,” she says. “They’re developing better study habits because they know I have access to their work. I believe [that] keeps the stress and anxiety level of school to a minimum so they don’t fall behind.”

Wills plans to step back a little once the boys are able to stay on schedule consistently. For now, the fact that they are in middle and high school does not prevent her from being involved. “I don’t have a set age for my kids to mature, develop good judgment and develop a desire to succeed in school,” she says.

Some Ups and Downs

For students, portals can actually help with that. Solomon’s son uses his school’s portal system to keep track of his assignments and be in touch with his teachers and classmates during after-school hours. New Roads school uses an online portal called the Learning Tool, which Middle School Director Allison Miller encourages students to learn – so parents don’t have to. “Believe it or not, your parents don’t want to always be looking at your assignments and checking up on you,” she tells them. “It’s not fun for them either!”

Miller thinks it is critical for middle schoolers to learn the job of being a student. “This sometimes comes with some stumbles, which can be hard for parents to witness. [But] putting the onus on the student allows the parent to step back with more confidence,” she says. She recommends parents check the portal only twice a week.

The tools do have their ups and downs. Parents must learn new technology – possibly figuring out how to use more than one portal if they have children in different schools – and keep up with the overwhelming amount of information provided. Accessing portals often becomes yet another parenting task, one that doesn’t necessarily encourage parent-child interaction. I found logging onto yet another online tool, with a user name and password, fatiguing. I preferred reading old-fashioned fliers and talking to my daughter.

Some parents complain that the technology does get in the way of real-world communication. “Having the portal has made some teachers less communicative with my child’s progress,” says Wills. “They just rely on the portal, which is not always up to date. For example, it [once] stated my child was missing work, when in reality the teacher did not grade it yet.”

Some schools, including New Roads, offer technology training and encourage parent feedback and suggestions. New Roads also encourages live communication. “If a parent is really overreaching in accessing the Learning Tool, our dean of students or counselor may start a conversation with [them] about their concerns,” says Miller.

Bentivoglio also suggests that parents initiate conversations with their child about using the portal so they feel respected rather than judged or pressured. She feels that the biggest drawback of portals is that they keep the focus constantly on achievement, adding one more mechanism that encourages students to think about grades and scores and data rather than learning.

“Children would benefit more from conversations with their parents about a book that the child is reading in English class, from asking about what exactly that experiment tested and how, and from asking them to show how they solved a math problem,” Bentivoglio says. “Those conversations, rather than those about the score that popped up on the screen, teach children that education is important.”

Getting the Most Out Of the Student-Parent Portal

Get connected. Record your login information in a safe place, and explore the portal at the beginning of the school year so you know how it works or can get help if you need it.

Keep it real. Have an ongoing conversation with your student about what is happening at school, what assignments are pending and whether he or she needs help. Know that if there is a serious problem, school authorities will contact ou directly.

Step back. Teachers recommend checking the portal twice a week and grades occasionally. Avoid the temptation to check in too often. As long as your child is succeeding at school, give them space to work and learn at their own speed.

Kaumudi Marathé is a Glendale-based journalist and mom to a 14-year-old.

LAUSD Magnets: Getting to the Points

Published

By Amy Kiehl

school newsIf you live in the district, the right strategy could get your child into an excellent school.

When my oldest child was 3, the director of our Montessori preschool invited us, with all the other preschool parents, to a symposium she was offering on how to navigate the Los Angeles Unified School District system known as e-Choices.

I thought it was probably a little too soon to be worried about elementary school. My husband pointed out that we had nothing else going on that evening, and so we went, mostly because we enjoyed the other parents’ company and wanted to socialize a little more. It was one of the best parenting decisions we have ever made, and I am grateful almost every day that I was given the opportunity to understand how to navigate this system successfully.

Unless someone actually sits down and explains the system of e-Choices, magnet schools, wait list points, overcrowded points, sibling points and PHBAO, you will likely not ever grasp the full range of opportunities and obstacles that exist within LAUSD. And you absolutely need that knowledge if you live in the district and want to enroll your child in one of the many desirable magnet programs it offers.

I’m going to help you figure it out.

What Is a Magnet?

According to the LAUSD Choices Program website, magnet schools are “court-ordered voluntary integration opportunities available to students in grades K-12 living within the LAUSD boundaries.” Currently, there are 210 magnet programs in the district, to which all LAUSD students can apply.

The program was established in 1977 as a way to help desegregate schools and expand educational opportunities for students – especially those living in underserved parts of the city. Magnet programs – some of which are stand-alone and some of which are located within a larger school campus – all have district-mandated quotas that require them to give a certain percentage of spots to students of color.

I encourage you to visit the e-Choices website and research the programs available. Remember, these are public schools. There are arts magnets, science magnets, college prep magnets and even a zoo magnet that will give your student practical experience working with animals and a great understanding of the zoo as workplace. They tend to attract incredible teachers, and the parents who take the time to understand the system and get their children enrolled are the parents who are at that school with you. They are involved, focused, supportive and want the best for their child and their community.

The only way your child can attend an LAUSD magnet program is by collecting “priority points.” These points are assigned in a variety of ways to all prospective students, and while collecting them might seem straightforward, strategies for doing so can get complex. Parents who have all the right information and pay attention to deadlines and rules are definitely at an advantage.

Student Integration is the office in LAUSD that runs the e-Choices program, the program you use to apply to magnets. They are really nice, lovely people, and they are conversant in the magnet program, points, deadlines and the rules. But they will not be able to help you get into a magnet program, no matter what you say, so it is really important that you understand the rules and the protocol.

How Do You Get Points?

The first piece of information you will want to know is which school is your home school, and whether that school is considered overcrowded and/or PHBAO (Predominantly Hispanic, Black, Asian and Other Non-Anglo). You will receive four points for each of these designations. Your home school is the LAUSD school you would be assigned to if you sent your child to school the way most of us went to school when we were children. If you are sending your child to a charter school or a private school, that is not what LAUSD will consider your home school.

If your child has a sibling ischool newsn the magnet program you are applying to, you will receive another three points, known as “sibling” points.

Four “wait list” points are awarded to your child each year they do not get into the magnet program you applied to, up to a total of 12 points.

The absolute, maximum points a child can have is 23. Here is how it breaks down:

4 PHABO
4 Overcrowded
3 Sibling
12 Wait List

All points expire after three years.

A caveat here: there is still an element of random selection applied to all students, even after their points have been collected and assessed. The more points your child has, the likelier it is that they will get into the magnet school of your dreams, but it is not a guarantee. If you collect your points and work within the system, your child will most likely get into one of the magnet programs out there, but there is still no absolutely foolproof way to gain admittance.

Middle School Strategy

If you start collecting wait list points when your child is in kindergarten, it is likely, very likely, that they will get into the elementary magnet program you are applying to. This may be your plan. You may not love your current elementary school, and you may really want to go to Community Magnet (we wanted to). If that is the case, you should most definitely apply for those magnet wait list points immediately.

However, if you like your elementary school and are targeting a middle-school magnet instead, you don’t want to start collecting points until your child is in second grade. This means that you would fill out the e-Choices application while your child is in second grade for admission the following year.

But, wait. Why would you want to switch your child’s elementary school in third grade, especially if you and (more importantly) your child are happy? Here’s where it gets tricky.
All of the LAUSD elementary magnet programs – Open Magnet Charter School, Wonderland Avenue Elementary, Community Magnet Charter School, Mid-City’s Prescott School of Enriched Sciences – graduate attending students with 12 matriculation points. These matriculation points are only good for one year, and are intended to help those students get in to a magnet middle school. This means that all students who are not in magnet elementary programs need to stock up their full allotment of 12 wait list points to help them compete with those students who graduated from elementary magnet programs.

Those 12 wait list points are absolutely necessary for your child to gain entrance to a LAUSD middle-school magnet program. So parents trying to get their kids into a magnet middle school face a gamble. Wait until third grade to apply and you won’t be able to collect enough wait list points to be competitive for sixth grade. Apply in second grade and you can get the 12 points, but you also risk getting in to an elementary magnet and having to move your child away from an elementary school you like. Because if you get into a magnet program and decline to enroll your child, your points disappear and you have to start over.

Working the System

Here’s the secret: apply to the most popular magnet elementary school you can find, that you would be willing to move your child to. Another way to say that is: submit your e-Choices application for one of the magnet elementary schools that is almost impossible to get into. It is likely that you will be rejected, and then you will have those four magical wait list points for that particular year.

school newsBefore you pick a program to apply to, ask yourself two really important things. First, are you willing to move your child if he or she gets in? Second, is the program you are considering an elementary school that ends at fifth grade, or is it a “span” school that continues until eighth or 12th grade? If it is a span school, once you are in, you won’t receive points to matriculate to another magnet program in LAUSD, and will need to keep your child in that program until the last year designated for that program. If you get into a span school such as Valley Alternative Magnet School (a spectacularly great school for grades K-12), you will not be able to transfer to another magnet school using points.

All of this will engender endless conversations with your partner, your friends, your principals and even your neighbors about which school to apply to and which program and strategy is best for you.

I am very involved in the magnet school that my kids attend, and I am always in the parent center after the prospective parent tour to answer questions. Almost every single parent who comes into that room asks me how they can get their child into our school, and it is with true and deep regret that I have to let them know that it is too late. If they are there with a fourth grader and have never been taught about e-Choices or followed up on a conversation they overheard or were part of at their preschool, it is too late for their child to attend our school in sixth grade.

That is not to say that they can’t begin to collect points so that they can apply down the road. The reality is, though, that sixth grade at our school has an incoming class of 240 and eighth grade will have maybe 25 spots available. It would be hugely disappointing to me as a parent to know that if I had only been informed, I could have worked the system and helped get my child into an excellent school.

Two final pieces of advice: Don’t be put off by the extraordinarily complicated system, and do not miss the e-Choices deadline. Applications open October 4 and you will have approximately six weeks to submit your application online here or via regular mail. If you apply for one program and then change your mind, you can update your application. The only one that counts is the most recent one you have submitted. Good luck, and may the points be with you!

For a list of LAUSD magnet school tours see this comprehensive list by school.

Amy Kiehl is a local writer whose two children attend LAUSD magnet programs. She learned to navigate the e-Choices system when her children were small, and she now helps other parents.

Perks for Private-School Parents

Published

By Mimi Slawoff

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During Highland Hall’s Thursday morning Craft Circle, parents make crafts to be sold at the school’s boutique and fairs. PHOTO COURTESY HIGHLAND HALL WALDORF SCHOOL

Local campuses offer a host of classes and activities for moms and dads of students.

Cara Lisco doesn’t expect to become a top-notch knitter or dancer by taking weekly classes at Highland Hall Waldorf School, where her three children are students. The knitting and eurythmy classes are among enrichment activities offered to parents of students who attend the Northridge private school. They are designed to help parents like Lisco have fun and gain insight.

“When I learned how to knit in a weekly parenting class, I finally understood why knitting supports left brain/right brain neurological development that is essential as a foundation for reading skills,” Lisco says. And she is especially proud of a little rabbit named “Boo Boo Bunny” that she knitted and that her family keeps in a drawer with the bandages.

Highland Hall’s roster of enrichment classes and programs for parents also includes tango, meditation, garden work parties and an educational lecture series. “Highland Hall offers workshops and classes throughout the year for our parents and community members to enjoy and gain an understanding of our developmental approach to education,” says Meredith Cornelius, who handles marketing and development for the school.

A weekly craft circle begins right after morning drop-off and is a great way to make new friends while learning to create beautiful Waldorf-inspired crafts, says Cornelius. The crafts are sold at community events and funds are donated to the parent association.

A Fun Bonus

Highland Hall is one of several private schools that are going beyond educating and enriching their students, and reaching out to do the same for parents with a range of classes, workshops and support groups. Some are offered free; others for a nominal fee.

“We’re seeing an increase in schools that are offering parents more of an opportunity to become involved in fun activities like book groups, self-defense classes or yoga. These types of activities have other advantages in that they promote a sense of community and connection among the parent body at the school,” says Los Angeles psychologist and educational consultant Michelle Nitka, Ph.D, author of “Coping With Preschool Panic.” “Although I would not go so far as to pick a school solely based on these enrichment activities, I would say they do bring an added bonus to being part of that school’s community,” she adds.

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Parents take on weeding, composting and planting during Highland Hall’s weekend garden work parties on its farm. PHOTO COURTESY HIGHLAND HALL WALDORF SCHOOL

Monday morning meditation at her children’s wooded Highland Hall campus helps Lisco stay grounded, especially after driving her brood to school through L.A. traffic. On these hectic mornings, she meets up with fellow parents to gather in a circle on blankets on a platform outdoors when the weather is nice and indoors when it rains. The mood is light and bubbly with conversation until the group leader shares a poem or inspirational message before lighting a candle in the center of the circle.

“It reminds me that a calm center becomes a sturdy foundation to enable positive interactions with others, to be receptive to effective ideas and to be able to continue to grow and self-cultivate,” says Lisco, whose children are 6, 9 and 13.

Offering parents enriching experiences on their child’s campus also eliminates scheduling hassles. “Parenting can be an overwhelming experience,” says Randi Abramowitz, director of parent and enrichment programming at 807 Enrichment Center at Piper Preschool in Santa Monica. “Having a convenient place to regroup, disconnect and take care of ourselves is a great resource for everyone.” Piper offers monthly Parenting for Parents classes and themed one-time classes.

Learning Together

Campbell Hall in Studio City also offers guided meditation sessions, which kick start the school’s free Parent Mindfulness Group that meets Tuesday mornings from September through May. “Meditation is followed by topics such as authentic parenting, connecting more deeply with our kids and development of skills, all while building community with fellow parents,” says Sarah Huss, director of human development and parent education at Campbell Hall. “Parents learn from the person facilitating and from other parents.”

Campbell Hall also offers a parent education program of lectures and workshops that bring together parents and other members of the community with experts in a variety of fields. Offered mornings and evenings from September through March, the program explores topics such as technology and ethics, childhood stress and anxiety and health and wellness. Speakers typically discuss their topic for about an hour and then encourage questions.

The annual “Fatherhood Dialogues,” led by therapist Gary M. Groch, Ph.D. , has been available to Campbell Hall dads for the past 13 years. They discuss the joys and challenges of parenthood, share their experiences and enjoy a light meal. “The idea for this event came about from a combination of my own experiences as a father and my work with fathers as a psychotherapist,” says Groch, father of two grown daughters. The evening typically begins with small plates of cheese, crackers and vegetables as well as refreshments. This year, beer joins the menu, chuckles Groch.

He usually opens the meeting with a description of how dads are often viewed as less competent parents than moms. Groch assures dads that their role is different but equally important. “These are normal experiences but most dads don’t talk about it,” says Groch, who describes himself as Campbell Hall’s school shrink. The group is quiet at first, but the dads soon open up and fathers of older kids offer suggestions and practical advice to the more novice parents. “It begins to feel very supportive. By the end there’s usually a feeling of buoyancy, a feeling of community. There’s a feeling of caring when dads are giving each other advice. That’s where the real value comes,” says Groch.

Building Community

For Ronit Gravori, whose sons are 7, 9 and 12, parent programs at the Mirman School strengthen her confidence as a parent and help her connect to fellow parents at the multicultural Bel-Air campus. “Parents learn from each other as we share our own personal stories,” Gravori says. “We see that we are not alone in our challenges. As a community we form a safety net for each other’s children, cultivating an environment that fosters each child’s potential.”

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Ronit Gravori attends parent education groups and events at Mirman School, where her three sons are students. PHOTO BY VIVIAN ZACHARY

Mirman’s parent education group features experts, authors and community advocates who discuss various parenting styles. The Tuesday morning sessions have helped Gravori develop a deeper connection with her children. She also attends the Friday morning Inter-Cultural Discussion Group (ICDG), where discussions revolve around differences in ethnicity, race, religion, lifestyle and socioeconomic status.

ICDG provides a safe place for parents from various racial and religious groups and ZIP codes to share their concerns and goals for raising their children in a culturally diverse society while retaining their own family’s beliefs and values. “We are very driven by inclusivity and equity work and consider this a priority and ongoing process,” says Mirman School Psychologist and Administrator Dena Scott, who facilitates Mirman’s parent programs.

ICDG has been an enlightening experience for Gravori, a first-generation American of Turkish and Israeli descent. She finds there is more depth to people than what you see, and that sharing personal stories has helped her learn about herself. “It’s interesting for me to see my journey in life and how I got to where I am. My life story has impacted my parenting,” says Gravori. “I want my kids to experience life.”

Whether parents meet in craft and meditation classes or in parenting and support groups, shared experiences unite them. “It’s where friendships are made, says Marisa Cody, a mom and craft teacher at Highland Hall, where her 12-year-old is a student. “We all come to rely on each other for parenting advice, healthy recipes and sometimes just a shoulder to lean on.”

Mimi Slawoff is an L.A.-area mom of three and a frequent contributor to L.A. Parent.

Choosing a School: It’s In the Details

Published

By Lori Zanteson

Los Angeles Schools

Students at WorldSpeak Language School in Los Angeles are immersed in French, Chinese and Russian classes to promote a broad worldview. PHOTO COURTESY WORLDSPEAK

Most schools offer a good education. Look beyond that to find a fit for your child. 

The days of sending kids to an assigned neighborhood school, no questions asked, are gone. Today, Southern California families are fortunate to have many great schools to choose from, giving us the opportunity to find just the right school for our kids. But after the websites are combed, tours are taken and the big questions are answered, how can a family be sure a school is the best fit for the child?

It’s all in the details. Just because a school checks off all the boxes – location, philosophy, class size, test scores – doesn’t mean it’s ideal for every child. In fact, it’s often smaller details such as an intimate setting for a shy child or a cutting-edge science lab for a budding chemist that can make a big difference in how well a school fits.

When Rochelle Siegrist of Monrovia and her husband set out to find the right school for their son, Declan, they looked at six schools. They wanted an environment that had it all but felt like it focused on the whole child. Early in the search, they saw that all the schools had similar bells and whistles and realized they had a lot more work to do.

In the forefront of their search was Declan. “We want him to be a good person when he graduates, to discover [how he] will help in the world,” Siegrist says. But they also wanted a family fit. The Siegrists are fun-loving people who like to be involved in community, so they wanted to find like-minded people in their new school community.

They went to a lot of school events. Some were community events with parents and kids, and others were fundraisers that included only parents. They talked with families, noted when people approached them and how friendly they were. “We really listened to what they had to say,” Siegrist says, because people are the pulse of any school community.

Tapping Potential

Angelika Putintseva also thinks a school’s mission extends beyond its walls, and when she set out to find a school for her son, she was looking for one with a broad worldview. It proved so difficult to find that she opened her own. WorldSpeak Language School in Los Angeles, founded in 2001, offers full-immersion classes in several languages, including French, Chinese and Russian. The rationale is that teaching children multiple languages prepares them for life in a global economy and teaches them respect for different cultures.

When reviewing schools, begin by making sure the campus caters to your child’s interests – math, chess, music – and then make sure it offers everything else, says Putintseva. “You don’t want to shut out everything else,” she says. “A 5-year-old’s likes may not be her life calling. Give her what she’s good at, but at the same time, you want to see something else.” This creates challenge for the child.

WorldSpeak also designs an individual academic plan for each student, by ability rather than by age. “We see where a child stands,” Putintseva says. “A 5-year-old may be either kindergarten or first grade, but for math even be second grade.” If a young child speaks better Chinese than an older child, this motivates the “big kids” to work harder, and also teaches them to base respect on abilities, kindness and helping others, rather than on age.

“The core principle at WorldSpeak is to develop the gift that was given to you,” says Putintseva. “You have the responsibility to develop your potential. Your happiness and the world’s happiness depends on it.”

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Families visiting Echo Horizon School in Culver City say they are impressed with how happy students seem and how eager they are to talk about what they are doing in class. PHOTO BY SUMMER DREW

Inspiring Happiness

Schools can play a big role in creating this happiness. When students are challenged in school, they develop a love for learning that fuels current and future passions. The good news for families touring school campuses and classrooms is that kids can’t hide this. Martha Schurr, Head of School at Echo Horizon School in Culver City, says visiting families are always impressed by “the happiness of our kids, who freely and enthusiastically talk with them about what they’re doing in their classes.”

Behind every happy student is a dynamic teacher. This was a selling point for Toni Caballero, whose two sons attend Echo Horizon. She says teachers there seek out the most effective methods of educating and match them to how kids are learning. “They’re always willing to change, and they’re always asking, ‘Are we doing the best we can do?’” Caballero says.

Because their oldest, Antonio, is deaf, the Caballeros’ standards for a school were especially high. They were looking for a school that would not only serve his needs but also challenge him in a safe and family-like setting. “You can tell when a staff is a family, as well as when there’s a disconnect,” Caballero says.

Great teachers also make innovation possible. One way this happens at Echo Horizon is through its unique technology program. There’s no separate computer class here. “Our teachers are held accountable for integrating technology into the classroom so that it is inherently part of everything our kids do,” says Schurr, who provides ongoing professional development to grow teachers’ technology skills.

Caballero loves the way this helps prepare her boys for the future. Not only has using technology become natural for them, it allows them, while doing homework on their Apple devices, to work beyond material covered in class for new challenges. “The tech piece is so critical. It’s going to be over the top, so much more a part of their lives,” she says.

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The Country School in North Hollywood focuses on engaging students in hands-on activities that engage their natural curiosity. PHOTO BY MARK BELL

Empowering Curiosity

Technology isn’t the only way education is changing. New ideas about homework and individual learning are also taking hold. “Education doesn’t look the same today and it won’t [look the same] in five years,” says Holly Novick, Head of School at The Country School in North Hollywood. The small pre-kindergarten through eighth grade school offers its students an individualized and progressive program that includes a no-homework policy. “We want them to explore being a child,” Novick says, adding the policy has improved student focus and boosted test scores.

Unstructured play is necessary for kids’ development. “It fosters independence, resilience, problem-solving skills and adaptability,” Novick says. “These are all skills that today’s employers are demanding, and it only makes sense to construct our education system to prepare children to succeed in the constantly changing, creativity-forward business world we are seeing evolve around us.”

Rarely will you see a worksheet or a traditional pop quiz at The Country School, Novick says. Instead, classrooms are filled with students working on project-based, hands-on, student-centered activities that will develop students’ natural curiosity and give them the tools to dig deeply into subjects that intrigue them. Teachers guide the students, who explore through doing. “Empowering children to take the reins of their own education underpins everything we do here,” Novick says.

After many positive social experiences with one school, the Siegrists thought they had found an environment that fit their family. They brought Declan for his interview visit. But by the time the interview was complete, it was clear this school was not the fit they were hoping for. “They wanted kids who just stand in line,” Siegrist says, referring to the school’s disciplinary style. “We feel we dodged that bullet. You have to be authentic and true to yourself. You need to find a comfort level.”

Eventually, the Siegrists settled on St. Rita School in the quirky San Gabriel Valley town of Sierra Madre. The area is known for its small-town vibe and strong sense of community, and made the family feel right at home.

Finding a school that’s right for a child is no small task. But really digging into what a school has to offer is sure to uncover those less-obvious details that can make the choice clearer for every family. And it is worth searching out the small details for the big reward of an education at a school that really fits your child.

Lori Zanteson is a San Gabriel Valley mom of two. 

Entering The World Of Oz With Justin

Published

By Meshell Baylor

special needsAutism is something I never imagined that my world would revolve around. It all began with a phone call from the school about my son, Justin, who was 5 at the time, not participating in class – odd behavior, not being sociable with staff or peers. Next, I received a letter from the school, asking us to have him tested. Following that assessment, a meeting was scheduled.

The psychologist finished reading her reports and then said, “autism.” And as she was describing what autism was in detail, time stood still. I was frozen, watching everyone in that conference room look at me with remorse in their eyes. I couldn’t move, yet my mind started racing, asking all kinds of questions. What does this mean for Justin? Can autism be fixed? A feeling of helplessness took over as I was given a pamphlet called “Special Education.” Then I left the meeting and began to walk.

I cannot recall how I got home, because my mind was still numb. I took my keys, unlocked the door, fell onto my couch and belched out tears. I began to cry for my boy. I cried for his future. I cried for all the dreams and aspirations that I had imagined for him. I laid there for a good hour thinking that I didn’t have a clue what to do next.

I went to my computer and did a search for the word “autism.” As I read, I whispered to myself, “This sounds like my Justin.” So many emotions took over. All I could do was look toward the ceiling and yell, “Why my child? This just isn’t fair. I am good person. I’ve done everything right. I ate healthy while I was pregnant. I took it easy. I listened to my doctor.” After the yelling, I’d walk around the house brainstorming ways to make autism disappear for Justin. I remember thinking that maybe if I worked harder with him it would go away.

Finally, I came to terms with it. I said to myself, “OK, Justin has autism and it’s not going anywhere. So now it’s time for me to learn how to be Justin’s support system.”

I remember ordering so many books on autism and special education that my kitchen table was covered with enough to last a lifetime. When I sat in that very first IEP meeting I was so scared. Everyone looked like giants and spoke in acronyms that I never heard. I felt as if they were speaking a foreign language. Everything was abbreviated or hyphened down to three to four letters: SLP, meaning Speech Language Pathologist or LRE, which stood for Least Restrictive Environment.

I felt that none of the books I ordered had prepared me for this. The special-education world seemed like the world of Oz, and I was Dorothy trying to find my way home – only for me, home was Justin. All I wanted to do was learn how to navigate the system and learn how I could work with the schools to help my son. A part of me was very intimidated by the professionals in that room, and I had to slowly teach myself to not be afraid to ask questions, because no question is a wrong question when it comes to helping Justin.

It took some time for me to learn the ropes, and I must admit that with each new year and each transitional change in Justin’s IEP, I slowly started to find my way. Special education is still Oz, but I’m learning how to adjust and so is Justin. Yes, there are days when you become frustrated and want to just cry. Then there are days when your child has learned to reach a goal, writing or reading a new word, or calling you “Mom” for the first time.

My dreams and goals for my son have changed because he’s different, and I have learned that doesn’t make him less. It makes me more interested in learning what he loves and what he likes to do. Today, Justin is 16 years old, a Special Olympics athlete and an ambassador for Special Needs Network, and I’m very proud of him.

Entering into this world has made things a little easier, because I’m more able to get to know my son – to discover that his favorite color is blue, he doesn’t like extremely loud noises and superheroes make him feel special. Even though we’re now in the world of Oz, I’ll happily live in this world if it brings me closer to Justin.

Striking a Preschool Balance: Play-Based vs. Academic Programs

Published

By Carolyn Richardson

parenting

When a rabbit gave birth at Pierce College Child Development Center, teachers turned the experience into a lesson for the preschoolers. PHOTO COURTESY PIERCE COLLEGE

Search out the best play-based and academic elements to find the right fit for your child.

When my daughter, Mirae, was 3, she came home from preschool one day raving about baby rabbits. A rabbit had given birth and burrowed her offspring in the dirt just under the swing set at Mirae’s preschool, Pierce College Child Development Center in Woodland Hills. A child found the burrow, and the adventure began.

The teachers at this play-based preschool turned the discovery into an opportunity for learning. They first asked the children what they should do to protect the baby rabbits from predators. The children suggested making “keep out” signs. They each created signs and staked them on wooden sticks around the burrow. Day after day, they observed, left food for and looked after the rabbits. They counted them, spelled out “rabbit” with magnetic letters, read books about rabbits, drew pictures in their journals about their experience and used measuring tape to see how deep the burrow was after the momma rabbit had removed her babies.

Preschool these days is much more than a place to learn letters, numbers and how to sit quietly for “circle time.” Preschools follow a range of learning philosophies, with most incorporating a mix of play-based and academic learning. The key to a great preschool experience for your child is finding the mix that fits your child’s personality and learning style.

Letting Children Lead

At preschools that define themselves as more play-based, teachers observe the interests of the children in their classrooms and choose study topics that follow those interests. They then introduce academic concepts that include hands-on experiences based on those topics. This may mean that lessons differ from day to day and week to week, and that children in different classrooms in the same preschool have different learning experiences. “Play-based preschools allow children and teachers the opportunity to explore, investigate and comprehend a topic together,” says Astrid Feist, program support specialist at Los Angeles Universal Preschool (LAUP).

Proponents of play-based preschools say child-led activities are more meaningful to young children. “Learning only takes place when it’s interesting and relevant,” says Phyllis Schneider, director of Pierce College Child Development Center, who credits child psychologist David Elkind’s research for her bent toward play-based learning. She says the children’s discovery of the rabbits allowed for learning that would stick better than a teacher-led lesson.

Some experts also consider play-based learning as more developmentally appropriate for young brains. “If you incorporate smell, sight, sound, taste and touch as well as movement, that’s going to ce

parenting

Astrid Feist, program support specialist at Los Angeles Universal Preschool (LAUP), says that if your child’s preschool program focuses heavily on academics, you can provide balance by making time for child-directed playdates at home. PHOTO COURTESY LAUP

ment that experience in the child’s brain [better] than just telling them,” says Melissa Brisbois, a Pierce College preschool teacher.

Finally, play-based learning also allows children to flex some mental muscles that a worksheet just won’t exercise. “Play allows for opportunities to develop in areas such as creativity and problem solving,” says Carrie Reed, owner of The Toddlers’ Clubhouse and Preschool in Reseda, where the curriculum mixes teacher-led and child-led activities.

Benefits of Structure and Progress 

Schools that focus more on teacher-led skill building are considered academic preschools. “In an academic classroom, learning is driven by the teacher,” says Feist. Expect worksheets, flash cards and other 2D work in this type of environment. You may also notice a thematic curriculum that follows a sequence of activities and involves drills and practice of progressive concepts. Letters of the day, calendar work and introduction of successive numbers each week all indicate an academic program. “There is a right or wrong answer and a focus on memorization,” says Feist.

With all the buzz around kindergarten readiness, the clearer picture academic-based programs offer of students’ writing, reading and math skills is comforting to many parents. Teachers in academic preschools regularly assess abilities in those subjects, so parents will know where their child is proficient and where skills need to improve. If you want to know whether your child knows all the sounds of the alphabet, a teacher-led program will test your child by having them write each letter after hearing the associated sound.

Children who have been exposed to teacher-led curricula might also transition more easily into traditional academic-focused kindergarten, where practice in testing, worksheets and flash cards will give them an edge. The more structured environment in academic-focused preschool programs can also be more comfortable for children who thrive on routine. In an academic preschool, there is generally a set time to do certain subjects each day, which gives children predictability they may enjoy.

Finding the Right Mix

Pasadena mom Jean Lee visited a highly selective school that promotes early reading, but ultimately chose Cottage Co-op Nursery School for her daughter. She wants her child to succeed in kindergarten, so the school’s focus on “no lines and no paperwork” felt like a bit of a gamble. But she felt her daughter would fare better with more engaging play experiences. “You want your child to be ready for kindergarten, and you see a child reading early, so you second-guess play-based learning,” says Lee.

parenting

In a play-based preschool program, shovels floating in a bucket of water can teach children about color, counting and science. PHOTO COURTESY COTTAGE CO-OP PRESCHOOL

And Cottage Co-op Director Sahar Farmanesh contends that academics are still present. “A bucket of water with shovels can be a science experiment,” she says. “Will the shovels float or sink? It can also be a lesson in colors as well as a counting exercise. The aspects of play that help develop academic skills are easy to incorporate without the need for paper and pencil. The best preschools will help children learn academic skills in the course of play.”

In the same way that play-based programs should be able to demonstrate academic skill building, academic preschools should have opportunities for child-led play. “Direct instruction can be a useful tool as long as it is developmentally appropriate and engaging for the child,” says Reed. “I also strongly believe that play is the context in which children develop and learn.” Ideally, parents choosing a preschool should search out the best mix of child-led and teacher-led activities.

If the program you choose leans too heavily toward academics or play, you might have to bridge the gap at home. Schneider says a parent at her preschool was discouraged because her child didn’t know certain sight words after finishing their pre-k program. She gave the mom examples of how to develop academic skills at home. “Put [children] in charge of the grocery list,” Schneider says. “When you’re going shopping, make a short list and tell them it is your job to find cereal, milk, apples and cheese. In this way, the child can practice printing, counting and reading in a way that is interesting and relevant to your family.”

If you choose a more structured learning environment for your child, be sure they have ample time for free play and exploration at home. “If your child is in an academic program, the child’s schedule should allow for playdates that involve child-led cooperative play with peers,” says Feist. “Be a guide, but do not lead the interaction.”

Eyes On the Prize

In the big picture of what preschool means for your child, play and academics both have their place. “I think it’s a false dichotomy to talk about play and academics [separately],” says Tina Payne Bryson, co-author of “The Whole-Brain Child” and executive director of The Center for Connection counseling center in Pasadena. “In preschool, academic skills and what they learn in play are actually very much the same thing. Play is children’s work and the way in which they learn cognitive skills, planning ahead, organizing thoughts, expressing themselves. Those are fundamental academic skills that allow them to succeed.”

Bryson says the most important thing at any preschool, no matter the program, is that children are learning:

  • What it’s like to be at school
  • How to work with and play with other kids
  • How to advocate for themselves
  • How to bounce back when they don’t get their own way and
  • How to be flexible and handle emotions without their parent present.

“Those are the most important things, and that can happen at a wide variety of most schools,” Bryson says.

So conduct your search with an eye toward finding a preschool environment that mixes child-centered and teacher-led activities in a way that best matches your child’s learning style. And once you choose, stay engaged so that you can support your child and provide balance at home, and help your child develop a lifelong love of learning.

Carolyn Richardson is the mom of a kindergartner and twin preschoolers, and is Assistant Editor at L.A. Parent.
parenting

Chat Room: Molly Newman: Shepherding Students Toward The Arts – and Beyond

Published

By Elena Epstein

parenting

Molly Newman, pictured with her husband, John, and daughters Lucy and Cecelia. PHOTO COURTESY MOLLY NEWMAN

Molly Newman was the kid who loved books, stories and writing. She followed her love for literature and started her career as a high school English teacher. As the Director of College Counseling for Idyllwild Arts Academy, she now helps students follow their passion for the arts to college and beyond. Idyllwild Arts, located in the pine-forested San Jacinto Mountains, is an internationally acclaimed residential arts high school with programs focusing on music, theater, dance, visual arts, creative writing, film and digital media and fashion design.

What’s the most important advice you give your students?

Have a flexible and open mindset. You have so many options, but you have to do the research to find the best fit for you. Beyond the conservatory route, you can go to a liberal arts college or a large university and double major or get a minor and combine your passion in dance, art or theater with a more academic degree such as psychology or business. Some of our students pursue non-arts majors in college and then find artistic outlets by joining a community theater, starting a blog or an Etsy shop. One of our students is working on his degree in environmental engineering at a large university and has joined a jazz combo.

What’s the first step in the college selection process?

Self-awareness. It’s a beautiful thing when you discover something that you’re willing to spend hours developing an expertise in. The value and the satisfaction of pursuing a degree and later a career in an area you truly enjoy is incalculable.

What should students look for when visiting a college?

Go to a performance. Visit the studios. Sit in on a class discussion. Talk to a few professors. Look at the students. There should be an intuitive awareness of,  “Are these my people?”

What about the cost of college and parents’ concern for lack of job opportunities for arts majors?

College is expensive and parents have a legitimate concern for wanting to maximize the return on their investment. I tell students and parents to respect each other and find a compromise. Investing $200,000 in a musical theater conservatory is not a realistic option for many families, but there are great theater programs at many public universities that cost a lot less.

What’s the biggest benefit of an arts education?

The importance of process and practice. It’s not about the moment on stage. It’s the long rehearsals, the countless hours of practice in the studio – those skills will serve students well in any career they choose.

What advice do you have for parents of younger kids?

I have two daughters and my husband is the Director of Business Operations at Idyllwild Arts. Our girls have a lot of exposure to the arts, but I want them to find what they love on their own. As parents, we should allow our kids to explore, give them the opportunity to fail and the autonomy to express their interests.

Laptops Equal Success for Students in Foster Care

Published

By Mimi Slawoff

community news

Law student Ashley Williams, left, says a donated laptop provided by iFoster and Foster Care Counts – founded by Jeanne Pritzker, right – lifted a weight off her shoulders. PHOTO BY JULIANA L.

As a UCLA student without a laptop of her own, Ashley Williams spent many hours waiting to use a computer in the library to complete assignments. “It was frustrating. It was a struggle to get my work done,” says Williams, who entered foster care at age 10.

Getting her first laptop at age 20 changed Williams’ life academically and socially. “It lifted a weight off my shoulders. And having that network added a new kind of excitement,” she says.

Williams, who is now 26 and a law student, received a donated laptop through Foster Care Counts and iFoster, two nonprofit organizations that have partnered to provide refurbished Dell laptops to college-bound foster youth ages 17 and older. The organizations work with L.A. County’s Department of Children and Family Services to provide services to transition-age foster youth.

“It’s difficult for young people from foster care to be successful in school without a laptop because it takes longer for them to access resources, prepare and hand in work and/or school related assignments, all of which makes them less competitive with their peers,” says Jeanne Pritzker, who founded Foster Care Counts in 2012. The L.A.-based organization also assists college-age foster youth with internships, job interviews and gently used work clothes.

Foster Care Counts provides funds for iFoster and sets criteria for laptop recipients. Students ages 17 and older must be in L.A. County, college bound or in college, and maintain a minimum 2.0 GPA. iFoster obtains and delivers the laptops (which cost $225 each) and ensures students get round-the-clock tech support. To date, 1,780 laptops have been provided to L.A. foster youth.

“The number-one request from foster parents, foster youth and social workers has always been computer access,” says Serita Cox, a former foster youth who in 2010 founded iFoster – which to date has provided more than 8,250 laptops to foster youth across the U.S.

Community college student Denisse Aldana says the laptop she received from iFoster has made a world of difference. She’s able to research college majors, fill out college applications, apply for financial aid and dabble in social media. “It’s been super helpful. It’s an essential tool,” says Aldana, 19, who plans to work in adoption services.

To donate, visit www.fostercarecounts.org. For more information, go to www.ifoster.org.

Booki Vivat Turns Doodles Into Her Debut Book

Published

By Michael Berick

fun ideas for kids

FRAZZLED takes a humorous look at middle school. PHOTO BY KAMOLPAT TRANGRATAPIT

Inspiration for a writer can come for almost anywhere. An overheard conversation. A story on the news. Two paths diverged in the woods. For Booki Vivat, it was a doodle she drew that said: “I live my life in a constant state of impending doom.” That drawing evolved, eventually, into Vivat’s delightful debut book “FRAZZLED: Everyday Disasters and Impending Doom” (due out Sept. 27 from HarperCollins Children’s Books). The book is about Abbie Wu, a girl entering middle school who Vivat describes as being full of feelings, fears and, yes, “impending doom.”

I got to ask the author about creating this colorful character and her charming middle-grade book and what the New York-based Ventura County native misses about Southern California.

How was it to revisit the world of middle school? Were there things that you had forgotten about or wish that you hadn’t remembered?

After I left middle school, I never thought I’d have to look back, but here I am, writing a book that practically demands it. I guess it’s kind of inevitable that so many aspects of Abbie’s story are rooted in my own personal experiences. As I was writing, I felt like I was both excavating my past for inspiration and working through my own unresolved feelings about growing up.

You include a lot of drawings in your book. Did the drawings or the words come easier to you?

At first, I focused only on text, but it wasn’t until I tried writing and drawing simultaneously that the whole process began to flow more naturally. Sometimes I’d write a scene and figure out what I wanted to draw later. Other times I had an image in my head and would write around that. “FRAZZLED” is heavily illustrated, but it’s much less structured than a comic or graphic novel. The layout and structure varies from page to page, so my creative process was constantly adapting and evolving as I was telling the story.

The book seems something like a humorous guidebook for kids before they reach middle school. Besides enjoying reading it, is there something that you hope children come away with from the book?

Vivat: Beneath all the hilarity and impending doom, “FRAZZLED” is, at its core, a book about trying to figure out who you are, where you belong and realizing that sometimes it’s OK not to know. The worst part about growing up is the impossible pressure to have things all figured out. There’s so much fear associated with the unknown—especially for kids!

Abbie goes into middle school feeling overwhelmed and underprepared. She really just wants to survive, but what she learns is that even in her angst and uncertainty, she has power and a voice and a right to be seen. I want my readers to know that their feelings and emotions are valid. It’s OK not to know what you’re doing or to feel uncertain about doing it, just as long as you don’t let that feeling stop you from actually doing things. In the end, the most important thing is staying true to yourself and the people you care about.

What did it feel like what you got to hold your finished book for the first time?

One of the first thoughts that went through my head was, “Did I really make this?” The whole thing felt so surreal. Up until that point, I had been through so many different iterations of the story— from the brainstorming to rough sketches to final art, from the earliest drafts to revisions to that final pass. Seeing the book in its completed form made me pause and reflect on the whole process from beginning to end. It was the first time that “FRAZZLED” felt like a real book.

You grew up in Southern California. Are there things that you miss about it now that you live in New York?

The longer I’m away, the more I appreciate growing up in Southern California. I was raised in the suburbs of Ventura County and went to school in San Diego, which practically feels like another world compared to New York. I miss that drive down the California coast, quality tacos and carne asada fries, and the weather. Aside from L.A. traffic and the looming threat of earthquakes, there’s a comfort and ease to California that I haven’t quite found anywhere else. I think, no matter where I go, California will always feel like home.

Do you have more Abbie Wu adventures in mind?

Flannery O’Connor has a quote that basically says if you’ve survived childhood, you have enough to write about for the rest of your life. Middle school was a formative time for me and I have a lot of material to work with, so this is definitely not the last you’ll see of Abbie Wu. She still has a long way to go before she makes it out of middle school!

Booki Vivat will be appearing at Vroman’s Books (695 E Colorado Blvd., Pasadena) on Oct. 3 at 7 p.m. to talk about “FRAZZLED” and sign copies of the book.

Chat Room: Super Mamas is Bridging the Culture Gap for Latina Moms

Published

By Elena Epstein

parenting

Paulina Lopez, at left with older daughter Krista Xanii and younger daughter Sabina Zabeth, and Bricia Lopez, at right with son Eduardo Santiago, co-own Guelaguetza restaurant and co-anchor the Super Mamás parenting podcast. PHOTO BY LILY RO PHOTOGRAPHY

Family is an all-encompassing part of Bricia and Paulina Lopez’s world. The sisters grew up working alongside their two other siblings in their parents’ Oaxacan restaurant on Olympic Boulevard in Koreatown, and are now not only co-owners of the family business, but co-anchors of their own parenting podcast, Super Mamás, geared toward young, hip, Latina moms.

Bricia and Paulina were born in Oaxaca, Mexico and immigrated to Los Angeles with their family when Paulina was 13 and Bricia was 10. Their parents, in 1994, founded Guelaguetza – an acclaimed restaurant famous for its traditional mole, tamales and chapulines and honored with a 2015 James Beard Classics Award for culinary excellence.

The sisters’ personalities are “totally different,” they’re quick to admit. But they do share a love of all things Oaxaca and a bonus sisterly bond based on motherhood. Their on-air conversations about life, motherhood, everyday annoyances and joyful moments are authentic. No topic is off-limits. Too tired for sex with your husband? In a fight with your mom? Financial worries? Feeling depressed? It’s all part of the chat.

How does your cultural background influence your parenting?

Paulina: Our culture is who we are. Our food, music and community is everything to us. I want my children to know where they come from. We speak Spanish at home, I take my daughters to the restaurant with me, we listen to Spanish music and read Spanish books.

Bricia: Growing up, I wanted to be the “American girl” and completely assimilate. It wasn’t until I was in college that I realized the value of my culture and that it was at the core of who I was. As a mom, I don’t want to force the culture. I don’t always speak Spanish at home, but I know my son will know it and feel it in his heart because of how we live and my family.

How did the idea for the Super Mamás podcast develop?

Paulina: Bricia and I have always been different. It wasn’t until we both became moms that we really understood each other. We talk openly about our frustrations and feelings and we thought, why not do a podcast together?

Bricia: I didn’t really get my sister and her life as a mom until I became a mom. I became a lot more sensitive to her and to all moms. We want to create a community where moms like us can talk about everything, be totally authentic and real.

What do you hope listeners gain from the podcast?

Paulina: We talk about subjects that are traditionally taboo in our culture: sex, abortion, adoption, sexual abuse — topics that were shameful in our parents’ generation. We also hope to empower more women. There is a cultural shift for this generation of women moving away from the machismo culture and realizing their identity can be more than wife and mother.

Bricia: In our culture, family is a huge influence on you. Your mom, sisters, cousins, everybody has an opinion on how to raise your kids. We want to help new moms find their own voice, find a community of moms who also come from large families and who are also trying to figure out their own parenting style.

What have you personally learned from doing this podcast?

Paulina: That self-care is so important for moms. We are always thinking about everyone else, but we need to take time for ourselves.

Bricia: Not to judge other moms. We’re all different. Parenting is like a color. There are so many different shades, each one unique and beautiful.

To listen and subscribe to the Super Mamás podcast, go to: www.supermamaspodcast.com.

The Importance of Enrichment for Your Child

Published

By Michael Berick

parenting

Allegra Music Academy was founded last fall by a jazz musician who wanted to fill the gap created as music programs were cut from schools. PHOTO COURTESY ALLEGRA MUSIC ACADEMY

“Enrichment” is a catch-all term used to describe just about anything a child does after school – from supervised kickball on the playground to advanced music or performing arts instruction or Olympic-style training. But many of these programs play a vital role for students looking beyond traditional academics for a chance to shine. They give kids the opportunity to discover new interests or develop existing talents that might not be available during the school day. They can also instill enthusiasm for learning and skills students can use in the classroom and throughout life.

Frank Vardaros founded Allegra Music Academy in Tarzana last fall to fill the gap created by the lack of elementary-school music programs. “Music saved me,” says Vardaros, a longtime professional musician who currently leads the Frank Vardaros Jazz Orchestra, which has performed at LACMA, the Catalina Bar and Grill and Typhoon in Santa Monica. He wants kids to have the opportunity to discover the joys of music for themselves. But some kids who come into the store don’t even recognize many of the instruments on display.

Like Vardaros, Brandon Pierce hopes to make up for cuts in school enrichment programs. Pierce was started on his path to becoming a professional musician by his public school’s music program. He now runs B-Music music school and recording studio for kids, near Beverly Center, and says that developing a creative outlet is important for kids because it leads to greater happiness in life.

Opportunity For All

Many arts and enrichment programs reach out to kids in the community, giving them a chance to

parenting

The Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts offers a number of arts programs for the community, and partners with underserved schools. PHOTO BY VANESSA KARUBIAN/COURTESY THE WALLIS

participate – and to shine – even if they don’t have the resources for program fees. The Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts in Beverly Hills partners with underserved schools for its Wallis Focus School project. The community-focused cultural center helps develop programs tailored to meet each school’s individual needs. The objective, according to Director of Education Mark Slavkin, is to support schools in building arts-education programs they can maintain for themselves.

The Colburn School offers a Summer Encounter program that selects 60 students from 15 schools near its Downtown L.A. location to participate in a free two-week arts-immersion program where they instruct in music, voice, drama and dance. For the past few years, the school has also offered every Summer Encounter participant a full scholarship to continue studying at Colburn. Music students can enter the Jumpstart program, where they receive small-group and ensemble instruction five days a week, while choir, drama and dance students get scholarships to continue their studies up to age 18.

Debbie Allen Dance Academy (DADA) features top-flight dance training, but also offers a number of community programs. Several times a year, DADA offers Dance Free Day and invites members of the public to come and take a class free of charge. The academy’s LA/Watts Initiative provides dance education to low-income students from Nickerson Gardens, Jordan Downs and the Imperial Courts areas of L.A. DADA also offers scholarships for teens who commit to doing community service and maintaining a 3.0 grade point average. Participating teens have seen their grades improve.

Enriching Academics

Enrichment can also offer an indirect academic boost. The lessons learned in karate – focusing on a task, respecting your teacher and fellow students, being patient and brave – can also be used in the classroom. “Karate Kids teaches kids how to learn,” says Dawn Barnes, founder of the Dawn Barnes Karate Kids chain of studios. And music teacher Pierce says that enjoyable learning experiences, whether in music, arts or something else, prime kids for learning at school. “Then perhaps they’ll be more open to learning about George Washington in history class,” Pierce says.

parenting

Classes such as those offered by UCode can help kids get creative and see real-world applications for math skills. PHOTO BY NICOLE REINERTSEN

Even learning computer coding – which would obviously be a fit for kids interested in math – can help students who aren’t “mathletes.” Jessa Santangelo, Director of Growth at UCode, a coding school with South Bay, Beverly Hills and La Cañada-Flintridge locations, says coding can “give math a point” and help students understand its real-world applications. Learning to code can assist students in other classes as well. Santangelo recalls one student who used the coding knowledge he gained at UCode to create a computer program for a report on the history of Egypt.

Getting kids to think creatively and actively, Santangelo has found, “opens up the brain to new ways of thinking.” It can ignite a spark of inspiration that can get a child to become a more inquisitive learner in general. She also has seen learning to code change kids’ viewpoint that they are not good at something. A student, for example, might stop labeling themselves as bad at math, and this attitude shift can result in a child having a more positive approach to a subject.

Creating computer code, playing an instrument or working on a theatrical or dance piece also involves skills such as problem-solving, critical thinking and focusing on a task, which are all important tools in the academic world. Nate Zeisler, director of community engagement at The Colburn School, says the discipline, grit and stick-with-it-ness developed in these creative pursuits are “soft skills” that get used in the classroom – and life after the classroom.

Skills for Life

parenting

Through the Colburn School’s Jumpstart program, students receive ensemble and small-group music instruction five days a week. PHOTO BY PETER CHRISTIANSEN VALLI

Taking on the challenge of learning an instrument, a sport or how to code also helps kids develop a sense of responsibility for what they are doing. “There’s no greater lesson a child can learn than self-reliance,” says Barnes, who has seen how empowering it can be for kids when they realize what they have achieved through diligence and hard work. Building this sense of confidence is invaluable even if it might not be statistically measureable.

Building confidence in kids is a core principle behind the Wallis’ partnership with the Miracle Project, the local non-profit that runs performing arts programs for people with and without disabilities. This past season, the Wallis organized two Miracle Project workshops that culminated in public performances. The Wallis’ Slavkin says these workshops proved life-altering. After having regularly been stereotyped by others regarding what they can and can’t do, the Miracle Project students saw what they can actually achieve and, through this discovery, gained self-worth and self-confidence.

There is also tremendous value in letting kids spend time on activities where they have real talent, and giving them the chance to spread their wings and master a skill. But while these programs encourage kids to be the best that they can be, they also teach students not to fear failure. Santangelo says young coders discover that there are always bugs to fix in a program, Zeisler says perfection is unattainable in music, and Vardaros says that there is value in learning to play an instrument even if you sound horrible.

The goal of these programs isn’t necessarily to produce world-class musicians, professional dancers, superstar coders or karate champions. They use the fun involved in doing a creative activity as a way to help kids show off talents, explore new areas and develop important life and academic skills. In other words, these arts, sports and other programs are great ways to enrich your child’s world.

Michael Berick is Calendar Editor of L.A. Parent.

Recipes for Kids: Pasta and Possibilities

Published

By Christina Elston

fun ideas for kids

Head Chef Diana Stavaridis of Manhattan House cooks with students from Robinson Elementary School in Manhattan Beach. PHOTOS COURTESY GROWING GREAT

Diana Stavaridis, head chef at Manhattan House restaurant in Manhattan Beach, started cooking with her grandfather when she was a child but didn’t have the chance to imagine cooking as a profession until years later. Now she works with GrowingGreat, a community garden program that helps local elementary students grow school gardens, then brings fourth and fifth graders into the restaurant to cook with Stavaridis. The goal is to help kids connect with fresh food, and also to show them the world of professional cooking.

About 30-40 kids are part of the program, and groups of 12-18 work with Stavaridis to conceptualize and cook a recipe start to finish. Each group’s recipe goes on the Manhattan House menu for a month, and the students get to cook and serve it to their families.

Last spring, students from Robinson Elementary School were asking for ravioli. “Kids love cheese, and ravioli are like little cheese sandwiches,” says Stavaridis. She shares the recipe they created, which involves making homemade pasta – a challenge. “I just say practice, practice, practice,” she says. “Don’t be daunted if the first two times fail.”

Stavaridis recommends the pasta-making attachment for the Kitchenaid stand mixer if you have one, and says Atlas is a trusted brand of hand-crank pasta maker.

When the program resumes this fall, Stavaridis says recipes will likely feature lots of tomatoes (which the students planted in the school garden) paired with homemade soft cheese. Students have also been asking for a chance to make sausage.

 

Agnolotti Pasta with Garden Swiss Chard


Pasta Dough

400 grams (3 1/3 cups) all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon kosher salt

4 whole organic eggs

Filling

8 ounces ricotta cheese (strained overnight)

4 ounces mascarpone cheese

4 ounces parmesan cheese, grated

1 large stalk of Swiss chard, diced into small pieces and sautéed in olive oil for 2-3 minutes (until tender), then cooled

Zest of two lemons

sea salt

Mascarpone cheese sauce

1 chopped shallot

1 teaspoon extra virgin olive oil

1 tablespoon white wine

1 tablespoon unsalted butter

1 tablespoon mascarpone cheese

1 tablespoon chopped herbs, such as chervil, chive and basil

Juice of one lemon

Grated parmesan for garnishing

Sea salt to taste

fun ideas for kidsCombine the flour and 1 teaspoon salt. Add the eggs and mix to form the pasta dough. Wrap it in plastic and let it rest for one hour at room temperature.

Thoroughly combine the cooled Swiss chard with the 4 ounces mascarpone cheese, ricotta and parmesan cheeses and lemon zest to make the filling. Season with salt to taste. Load this mixture into a piping bag or a plastic bag with the tip of the corner cut off.

Roll out the pasta dough into sheets, and feed through a pasta maker set to level 5.

Lay each sheet on a board sprinkled with flour and cut them into rectangular pieces 12 inches long and 4 inches wide. Sprinkle flour lightly on each piece after you cut it, and stack the sheets on top of each other.

Pull one piece of pasta off the top of the stack. Pipe a straight line of ricotta chard filling lengthwise on the pasta, leaving enough pasta at the top to fold over the filling.

Fold the pasta top over the filling. Press firmly to seal. You can moisten the tip of your finger and run it along the seam if it doesn’t want to stick together.

Use the tips of your fingers to pinch the tube of pasta into equal-sized sections, creating a seal between pockets of filling. Use a wheeled pasta cutter or knife to separate the pressed sections. You should be left with small, individual pockets of filled pasta.

Place the finished pasta pockets in a tray of semolina or regular flour and freeze if not using immediately.

To cook the pasta, boil 6 quarts of salted water per pound of pasta. Use a slotted spoon to drop the pasta pockets into the water. Cook for about 1-2 minutes or until pasta is cooked through. (Frozen pasta will cook in just 45 seconds.) Remove from water and set to the side, reserving a little of the cooking water.

To make the sauce, sauté the chopped shallot pieces in olive oil in a large sauté pan until tender, then add white wine and reduce. Add some of the remaining pasta water (as needed) with the butter and 1 tablespoon of mascarpone cheese, until all of this mixture is thoroughly blended. Add the cooked pasta to this sauce mixture. Remove the pasta/sauce mixture from the heat and toss to coat. Season with lemon juice and salt. Garnish with grated parmesan and herb blend. Serve hot.

Practice, Not Perfection: Mindfulness Meditation for Kids

Published

By Laura Riley

positive parenting

Luciana Sanchez, 9, took meditation classes and looked online when she wanted to continue her practice at home. PHOTO COURTESY THE SANCHEZ FAMILY

Meditation is a simple tool that can help kids develop focus and feel more calm.  And it can be enjoyable. Parents can meditate with kids in playful ways that create safe space for emotions to surface and imaginations to be set free. But getting there takes some practice.

Mindfulness practice and meditation are different for kids than for adults, but their purpose is the same: to build awareness by taking time out to be with the breath, body and mind.

Helping children learn meditation is easiest if we acknowledge that they are not mini-adults. “You can’t expect children just to sit,” says Karen Kazanci Voskanian, a yoga instructor at Silverlake Yoga who has been teaching children meditation for more than a decade. “When adults first start meditating, they can sometimes sit still, although who knows what’s going on in their brain. For kids that restlessness is on the surface.”

Working With Restlessness

One solution is to start with movement or talking to get the jitters out. Then, kids become ready to sit – for short periods at first. Samantha Snowden, mindfulness facilitator at the Peak Brain Institute in Culver City, has her students start with one minute of sitting still then discuss what that felt like, eventually working up to five minutes at a time.

Snowden teaches mindfulness meditation, which is defined as paying attention on purpose with openness and curiosity and a willingness to be with what is. But Snowden says children often pay attention in a way that’s “much more participatory.” So instead of having kids sit still, Snowden might print out some mandala coloring pages and have her students spend five minutes coloring them, looking only at their own paper and focusing on that. When kids are having fun, they set aside thoughts more easily, become more present and are able to direct their focus inward.

Some students resist the silence that comes with sitting, but others crave it. “Silence is a safe place for kids,” says Milena Hunter, a yoga instructor at Mission Street Yoga in South Pasadena and Still Yoga in L.A., who teaches children with special needs in the Los Angeles Unified School District. “Having it can change how they feel and help them maintain peace.”

Reaping the Benefits

positive parenting

Karen Kazanci Voskanian, a yoga instructor at Silverlake Yoga, has been teaching children meditation for more than a decade. PHOTO COURTESY KAREN KAZANCI VOSKANIAN

With that peace can come many other benefits. Voskanian has noticed that her students become more calm, present and aware of their bodies, and has seen meditation practice help kids make academic and behavioral shifts. “One student was told that her writing became more creative,” she says. “Another student had a lot of anxiety and had physical effects like vomiting. Our focus on deep breathing helped that calm down.”

Snowden works with many children who have anxiety, depression and trouble paying attention. She says meditation helps children learn how to pay attention, not just that they should pay attention.

While meditation teachers sing the practice’s virtues, you shouldn’t expect an instant transformation. “Don’t think it’s going to be a magic bullet,” cautions L.A.-area yoga teacher Cecilia Ussher. “A kid might sit still for five minutes but this might not directly translate into all of his behavior right away.” She suggests praising kids for self-awareness outside of meditation as a way to promote mindfulness throughout the day.

Modeling Mindfulness

It helps if parents participate in a meditation practice with children. “The number-one thing that parents can do is model meditation,” says Ussher. “I recommend parents meditate themselves and with their kids.”

Hunter’s high school students have many distractions – some serious like the threat of their parents being deported, and some more day-to-day like the buzzing of a smartphone. If you are able to turn your phone off while you practice with your children, that will be a positive model.

positive parenting

Milena Hunter is a yoga instructor at Mission Street Yoga in South Pasadena and Still Yoga in L.A., and teaches children with special needs in the Los Angeles Unified School District. PHOTO COURTESY MILENA HUNTER

That said, technology can also help with meditation. Luciana Sanchez, who is 9 years old and took meditation classes with Snowden at The DEN Meditation in L.A., looked online when she wanted to continue her practice at home. “We search ‘meditation for kids’ on YouTube. We have a favorite one of a girl holding a moon,” she says. Sanchez likes to follow along with guided meditations online “because it shows a lot of the instructions.”

Finding a Space

While meditation masters might be able to find zen in a cave, a chaotic setting or anything in between, we mere mortals and our kids can start where we are. This could be at home or not far beyond in outdoor spaces.

At home, pick a quiet place and use the same spot each time you practice meditation. Voskanian encourages this to reinforce a routine, making it enticing by co-creating a ritual that is special to all of you. “Kids are very aware of their senses, so construct the ritual with that in mind. Light a scented candle, allow a piece of chocolate to dissolve on the tongue while they sit or chant a song together,” she says. “Also, when children first start meditating, have them sit against a wall until they build their postural muscles.”

Besides starting a home practice, here are three places in Los Angeles where kids can meditate and explore their breath and senses in new ways:

  • Near the ocean: In addition to teaching meditation to children, Voskanian also works at the Malibu Foundation as an educator, so, naturally, she suggests the beach as a place to meditate. Breathe in and out with the sound of the ocean in the background.
  • Self-Realization Fellowship Lake Shrine: At the Fellowship’s meditation gardens, located at 17190 Sunset Blvd. in Pacific Palisades, children can experience being in a space among other people looking for quiet. The shrine is open from 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Tue.-Sat., noon-4:30 p.m. Sun.
  • Griffith Park Sundial: Outside the Griffith Observatory, 2800 E. Observatory Road in Griffith Park, is a sundial surrounded by a grassy area. Take your children to this ring so they can meditate while seeing time’s seemingly slow passage.
positive parenting

L.A. yoga teacher Cecilia Ussher recommends parents be relaxed about their meditation practice with kids. PHOTO BY RUDY ESPINOZA/PEOPLE’S YOGA

Meditations For All Ages

Wherever you practice, be flexible. Hunter points out that Monday morning meditation after the weekend is different (sleepier) than on a Thursday afternoon. Ussher recommends parents be relaxed about the style of meditation with children. “They don’t have to close their eyes or be still,” she says.

Also keep your sessions fun, light and age appropriate. Don’t insist your child meditate daily, or at all. Be aware that while there are some consistent threads in mindfulness practice, such as a connection to the breath and being open to being in stillness, the length the focus on the breath and stillness last will vary based on age and individual child.

Here are some sample meditations:

positive parenting

Samantha Snowden, mindfulness facilitator at the Peak Brain Institute in Culver City, has her students start with one minute of sitting still. PHOTO BY JULIAN ROMERO

For ages 4-7: “I use the image of a thermometer and ask the children, as the temperature rises, What does it look like? What does it feel like? Can I catch my fear (or other emotion) at a three before it rises to a nine?” says Snowden.

For ages 8-10: “Some children go deeper into their meditation if they lead it,” says Voskanian. “Have your child tell you how many breaths she feels ready for (15 to 20), then have her lead the inhales and exhales up to that number.”

For ages 11-13: “Send friendly wishes,” says Snowden. “Pick someone you find easy to love and send these to them to help relax or go to sleep.”

Always take time, after practice, to reflect with your children. Make sure whatever meditation practices you are doing together are working for them. Engage them by asking how they felt in their meditation.

If one meditation game or practice does not feel fun, find another one. Meditation is a practice that is not supposed to make perfect.

Laura Riley is a writer, yoga teacher and social justice attorney.

Doc Talk: Beyond the Bicycle Helmet

Published

By Alan Nager, M.D., M.H.A.

parenting

Bicycle helmets are a necessity, but they are just one part of bike safety. PHOTO BY BRENDAN GOGARTY/FREEIMAGES.COM

It typically happens like this: A child hops on his bike, hollers to his mom that he’s going for a ride and is gone before she can even respond. No one has checked to see if he is wearing a helmet. No one even knows exactly where he is.

The boy is hit by a car and knocked unconscious. Someone calls an ambulance and he is brought to our emergency department. Meanwhile, his parents begin to wonder where he is and start frantically calling everyone they know. Without a way to identify the child, while we treat his injuries we bring in our social worker and call the police.

My first question in these cases is, where were the rules? Children should not be allowed to ride their bikes without a helmet, or without telling their parents exactly where they are going.

But bicycle safety goes beyond the helmet. Kids also need to wear brightly colored clothing so they are visible to cars, and closed-toe shoes to protect their feet.
And parents should make sure their kids’ bikes are in good repair. We see many kids who get their fingers or toes stuck in the spoke or the chain. We see fingertip amputations or near amputations and many lacerations and broken bones.

Kids ages 12 and younger should be supervised when riding their bikes, which gives parents a chance to set a good example. Sadly, I see many children riding with parents who are not wearing helmets.

If your child is older, make sure you know where she or he will be riding, and make sure the area is safe. I also advocate for kids having some form of identification, which could be a bracelet or a sticker on a cell phone case with the child’s name and phone number.

Kids should also be taught to avoid:

  • Texting or playing games like Pokémon Go while riding,
  • Riding friends on the handle bars or the bolts that hold the wheel in place,
  • Carrying overstuffed backpacks or other items that could throw them off balance, and
  • Stunts such as zooming down hills, jumping curbs or riding down stairs.

Teach and enforce safety rules consistently, and make sure all caregivers are enforcing the same rules. Don’t be the parent beating yourself up because you didn’t enforce safety rules and your child got hurt.

Alan L. Nager, M.D., M.H.A., has been Director of Emergency and Transport Medicine at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles for the past 18 years, and is a professor of Pediatrics at the Keck School of Medicine of the University of Southern California.

Giving Kids a Strong Hold on Fitness

Published

By Rina Baraz Nehdar

los angeles attractions

Camp Director Jess Moran helps Knox and Kaleb Nehdar get the hang of things at Stronghold Climbing Gum. PHOTO BY RINA BARAZ NEHDAR

If monkeys had a playroom, it would be the Stronghold Climbing Gym in Downtown Los Angeles. Located in the historic building that once housed the California Edison Company’s Los Angeles #3 Steam Power Plant, in the Brewery Arts Complex, this state-of-the-art facility houses hundreds of opportunities to scale walls and find routes to the top, across and under various types of simulated climbing terrain.

For those who climb, it seems to become more of an obsession than a sport. Owners Kate and Peter Mullen opened the gym two years ago and are quickly expanding their programming, offering a summer camp and classes for ages 5-14.

During the Friday night after-school program, Ross Francis teaches climbers ages 5-11 how to climb safely, overcome their fear and build strong bonds with each other. Kids flock to embrace their inner monkeys and spiders, scurrying up vertical walls, working those seldom-used muscles that give them inner and outer strength.

Camp Director Jess Moran says the kids who come to climb at the gym blossom in a way they might not without the challenges they experience there. “Some of these kids may be athletic, but they might not gravitate toward team sports,” she says. “This is the perfect outlet for them because they’re still using their bodies, but they’re competing against themselves.” Nearby, 7-year-old Rio illustrates Moran’s point, demonstrating her prowess by casually bounding up a convex wall and holding on with her little fingers as her body seems to defy gravity.

Eight-year-old Jack Knapp has only been climbing for eight months but is already on the climbing team and learning how to lead, which means he inserts hooks that support his rope into the crevices in the “rock” as he scales upward. “He’s never found anything that has maintained his attention like this,” says his proud dad, who doesn’t climb.

Stronghold Climbing Gym (650 S. Avenue 21, L.A.; www.strongholdclimb.com) also offers daily yoga classes and a fitness gym that is included in the membership fee of $69 per month for kids, $79 for adults. Day passes cost $20.

Go Get Their Eyes Checked

Published

By Christina Elston

parentingOptometrist Julie Forister was visiting South Coast Botanic Gardens with her family one day this summer. The mom of three was glad her 2-year-old daughter wasn’t interested in the Pokémon Go Takeover event that had taken over the lovely space – but that wasn’t the case for everyone.

“Everybody was staring at their phone instead of looking at the pretty flowers in the garden,” Forister says. Now that the school year is underway, mobile screens are just one reason you should make time for an eye exam for your child.

Forister and her partner at Eye Care Riviera Optometric Group in Torrance, Shirley Hong, recommend annual eye check-ups for all children. The exam is especially important if your child wears glasses. “As children grow and their eyes are changing, their prescription will change,” says Hong, mother of two.

The new school year is when many kids’ eye problems come to light. “Most parents don’t notice anything until the teacher mentions something,” says Forister, adding that behavior problems are often a sign your child needs an eye exam. “If they can’t see in class, they’re getting bored, and then they’re causing trouble.”

Also, watch for signs such as:

  • Headaches,
  • Turning the head to one side,
  • Tilting the head,
  • Closing one eye,
  • Avoidance of reading, and
  • Eye rubbing or discharge from the eye.

And as homework kicks in and screen time ramps up, teach your child the American Optometric Association’s 20-20-20 rule. When using a tablet, computer or smart phone, pause every 20 minutes to look at something at least 20 feet away for 20 seconds. “It relieves and relaxes your focusing system,” Hong says. “You wouldn’t go to the gym and work out four hours without taking any breaks. [Treat your] eye muscles the same way.”

If your child wears glasses, you might also consider spending an extra $20-$30 for “blue blocker” coating to help block the blue light from computer and device screens, which can cause eye strain and disrupt sleep. Even if Pokémon goes, screens won’t, so it’s a worthwhile investment.

“Even my youngest one, [who is 1½],” says Hong, “knows how to use my cell phone.”

Angel City Derby Gets Girls into Four-Wheel Drive

Published

By Christina Elston

fun ideas for kids

Angel City Junior Derby is open to girls ages 7-18 at all levels, including beginners who can’t yet skate. PHOTO BY JM IV PHOTOGRAPHY.COM

It’s Saturday morning, and a couple dozen girls age 7-18 are skating around a Gardena warehouse on old-fashioned four-wheel skates. As their coach, Shilow “RegulateHer” Castro, shouts instructions, they pair up and practice nudging each other out of the oval track striped on the cement floor.

The girls wear helmets, knee and elbow pads and wrist guards, which are standard for their sport: roller derby. Their team, Angel City Junior Derby – part of the Angel City Derby Girls flat-track league – is seeking new members.

The girls’ shirts have their derby names across the back: Zoe D. Stroyer, Mount Crushmore, Rose Dred, Minor Threat. The league’s A-Listers placed second at the Junior Roller Derby Association championships this summer, and these girls can really skate. Their practices on Saturday start at 8 a.m. with a half-hour of Cross Fit training and don’t finish until noon. By that time, they’ve also done two hours of drills, plus an hour of scrimmage. They also practice on Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays.

They train hard to be in shape for tournament play, where they might skate three games in the same day. “When you get tired, you start getting sloppy,” says Michael “Quadfather” Castro, who coaches the team along with his wife Shilow. Their daughter, Shelby “Lil RegulateHer” Castro, started skating at age 6 and is now one of the A-Listers.

Tough as they are, these girls all skate together like sisters. “The little girls aren’t scared of our big girls, because our big girls use our little girls to practice footwork,” says Shilow. Roller derby is basically a race where each team’s “jammer” works to get ahead of the other skaters to score points, while the rest of the team tries to block the path of the opposing team’s jammer. While physically knocking opponents off the track is allowed (and common), finesse, footwork, safety and sportsmanship are a bigger focus at Angel City.

The team includes players from all walks of life, and the Castros work with players at all levels, including absolute beginners who don’t yet know how to skate. The more advanced players help bring the newer players along. “There is no ‘in crowd’ here,” Shilow says. “This sport is for everybody.”

Girls who are interested in joining the team should visit www.angelcityderby.com/juniors or email juniors@angelcityderbygirls.com to ask about attending a practice.

Helping Your Teen Through a Move

Published

By Sara Boehm

parenting

Helping your teen make new friends and get involved at school can make moving easier. PHOTO BY MELODI2/FREEIMAGES.COM

Being the parent of a teenager is a challenge in any city, but can be even more difficult if your family has recently relocated. Southern California in general, and Los Angeles in particular, can be a challenge for anyone who is not used to the diversity in people and activities. For a teen who is new to the area, the first few weeks or months will inevitably present challenges with regard to acclimating to a new school, making friends and easing their transition into a different social environment.

Like all parents, you worry about how they’ll do and if they’ll make it through OK. So what can you do to help support your teen?

Encourage them to take the initiative to get involved and meet friends.

For students in junior high and high school, friendships become more significant. Entering this situation without the benefit of an existing network of friends and acquaintances is difficult. Parents should encourage their children to take the initiative to meet their fellow students, introduce themselves and ask questions to get to know them. Brainstorm ways your kids can get involved in their new school. And highlight for them the benefits of moving: new adventures, new opportunities and a chance at a fresh start!

Help your child feel more comfortable with the new surroundings.

Familiarize your child with their new school, and make an adventure out of exploring the city. Remember, you want your son or daughter to feel comfortable with the teachers, coaches and students at his or her new school, as well as their new neighborhood.

Quickly address academic gaps and placement for a smoother transition.

Make sure there are no gaps in learning. At the new school, certain classes might be too remedial or advanced for your son or daughter. Monitor how your child handles this transition. Speak up if you think he or she has been placed at the wrong level. The sooner this is remedied, the sooner they can get back on track.

Bear in mind, too, that different schools – particularly those in different states – might teach topics differently. If your child feels that there are gaps in their understanding due to the transition, consider tutoring or reach out to see if there is some self-guided studying they can do. Set up a time to speak with their teachers. You want to touch base regularly with teachers at first to see how the adjustment is going.

Listen and be patient.

Create an open and honest line of communication to discuss any struggles, insecurities or worries. Actively listen. Don’t blame yourself for your child’s pain or try to fix things for them. Be patient and allow them to process and be sad or angry. Then, when they are ready, help give them suggestions. Give them opportunities to express their feelings. If they aren’t looking to talk, consider providing them with a guided journal or workbook (we’ve created “Essential Moving Guided Journal: For Teens” for just that purpose) so that they may express their feelings privately.

Give them choices. 

During a relocation, teens see their entire lives turned upside down through no choice of their own. Any

parenting

Sara Boehm

choices or options you can offer give them a sense of control during an otherwise chaotic time. Even small decisions like selecting and decorating their room can give them back some feeling of control and comfort.

It can be painful to watch your teen struggle after moving, but with patience and support, you can go a long way in making sure they don’t feel alone or forgotten. And you can help them learn coping skills to adapt to change and new environments, preparing them for college and beyond.

Sara Boehm is CEO of Essential Engagement Services, and the author of “The Essential Moving Guide For Families,” and other accompanying books. She moved 12 times as a child and as an adult, and currently lives in Los Angeles.

On The Record: Becoming a Butterfly Parent

Published

By Daniella Guzman

positive parentingRhinoceroses are strong, have endurance and thick skin. A rhino charges toward its goals and never stops until it gets there. As a child, my bedtime stories were not about princesses and unicorns. They were about living life like a rhinoceros and not a cow.

When I became a mother and had little rhinos of my own, I naturally wanted the same for them – to be strong and determined. As my 5-year-old Sofia grew old enough, I signed her up for just about every activity possible to help her excel.

Needless to say, I overdid it. Keeping up with my work and driving her to and from piano, dance, soccer, playdates, birthday parties plus house chores was exhausting for me and for Sofia. I realized my family was way over-scheduled. According to psychiatrist Alvin Rosenfeld, M.D., author of “The Overscheduled Child,” I’m a hyper-parent.

It comes from our parental instinct to do what is best for our children, but the impulse to polish our kids by filling every minute of their time with extracurricular activities can lead to overscheduled, exhausted, stressed kids full of anxiety. Rosenfeld says that in most American families, kids have no time to themselves – no down time, no time to invent or to imagine because they are often exhausted.

Down time? What’s that? That is not how rhinos live! That’s what I thought, at least, until I met organized entrepreneur and mom of four Alexis Fuller. Alexis taught me a few things about scheduling all the activities, kids and downtime. She has a huge dry-erase calendar for her family that everyone can see and follow. She allows her kids to pick one sport or activity after school, and weekends are low key. Sage, who is 9, does karate; Ledger, who is 8, picked baseball; and 5-year-old twins, Sedona and London, get to do two activities together and they picked gymnastics and ballet. Alexis runs and operates her own business. She even maximizes her time by walking or taking a jog while the kids are in practice. It’s all scheduled!

Her biggest struggle, Alexis says, is giving the kids one-on-one time. “I’ll take one to the grocery store with me, the other to run an errand. Sometimes I’ll just color with one of them. It doesn’t always have to be an outing,” she says.

The most valuable idea I learned from this organized power mom: scheduling downtime. “We keep the weekends pretty chill because we value our free days,” she says. “We don’t go to all the birthday parties and we spend time at home playing games, watching movies, very low key to keep the stress low.” They even take scheduled naps on weekends to feel rested. That’s music to my ears. I’d love to feel rested and low-stressed.

One afternoon, I asked all four of Alexis’ children whether they would rather be at summer school or after-school activities or playing and relaxing together at home. Every single one of them answered that they preferred low-key activities at home.

It’s no secret that we live in a competitive world where expectations have soared, but the idea of continuing to trample through life fast and furious, like a rhinoceros, is exhausting. A cow’s life sounds a little boring, but I think I can settle for living like a butterfly – darting intensely across the sky but blissfully stopping to smell the flowers.

Daniella Guzman is the anchor on “Today in LA” weekday morning newscast, 4:30–7 a.m. A mother of two, Daniella’s column, On the Record, brings her views on parenting, fun family activities and her take on work-life balance. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram @daniellanbcla.

Is Homework Worth Kids’ and Parents’ After-School Time?

Published

By Evan Henerson

parentingIs the deluge of after-school tasks a necessary character builder or a waste of kids’ time?

As we look back over our school days, most of us can remember a particularly torturous homework assignment – an English essay, a science project, maybe a history presentation – that kept us up past midnight or ruined a weekend. Or a perfect storm when a lack of communication between teachers meant two projects were due on the same day as that big math test. But how many of us remember torrents of homework being the norm rather than the exception?

Many students today would say that a homework deluge is routine. Their parents tend to agree, since Mom and Dad are often the ones who feel compelled to crack the whip or endlessly check in to make sure assignments are completed.

This fall, Suzanne Weerts will send her daughter Madeline off to UC San Diego, where she will study psychology and Spanish and where – her mother sincerely hopes – the young woman will have more fun than she did in high school. By all accounts, the high-achieving Madeline had a successful four years at Burbank’s John Burroughs High School, taking Advanced Placement classes and graduating with distinction.

But the success came with a price, most notably an intense amount of homework on a nightly basis.

Needed to Succeed?

“There wasn’t time for fun. There was always homework on the weekends,” says Weerts, whose son Jack just completed his freshman year in high school. “Because both my kids are high achievers, they didn’t want to turn in anything that wasn’t done, so they would stay up way past the time it should take them to do it. Their sleep patterns were definitely affected. These kids put in eight hours a day at school and then they come home and have four hours of homework.”

“You could just see the stress,” Weerts continues. “[Madeline] told me many times that high school wasn’t any fun.”

Homework is the bane of every student who would rather spend his or her non-school hours doing anything other than more school work. Some experts consider homework the educational system’s equivalent to death and taxes, a series of inescapable, character-building routines designed to gradually prepare students for life in college and beyond. But in the wrong hands, say anxious parents, homework becomes teacher-imposed busywork that does nothing but cause an intense amount of family unrest.

Their experiences spurred Weerts and fellow Burroughs parents to partner with homework researcher and advocate Tina McDermott to survey families, collect data and ultimately draft the resolution “Homework: Quality over Quantity.” Concluding that excessive amounts of homework caused undue stress in many households, the women drafted the resolution, which called for PTA leaders to “work with national organizations to develop homework guidelines and policies that take into account the whole child, family life, equity issues and stress levels.”

parenting

The resolution passed at the 2014 California PTA Convention and, this summer, at the National PTA Convention & Expo in Orlando.

Even with her son Graham now a college student, McDermott says her interest in homework advocacy is as strong as ever. “When we have given workshops at the PTA, people are in the audience crying,” she says. “It’s very painful. It’s their children. Sometimes they’re high achieving, sometimes they’re struggling, sometimes they’re in between. This is something that affects them on a daily basis, and affects the emotional life of their child.”

No Easy Answers

And we’re not just talking about the work that ambitious high schoolers are slogging through in the hopes of getting into a top-level college. Some parents find that struggles over homework begin as early as kindergarten. Many of the parents interviewed for this article asked that their names or the names of their children not be used because they did not want to be perceived as unfairly criticizing a teacher, a school or a district. Parents say they understand that finding a homework balance is difficult, and that teachers take a lot of criticism over homework.

“One of the interesting things is that parents feel very differently,” says David Baca, Ph.D., administrator of instruction for Local District-East in the Los Angeles Unified School District. “It’s always too much or too little. You never hear, ‘You’re giving just the right amount.’”

LAUSD’s homework policy is six pages long. Last updated in 2012, the policy states that a kindergarten student should have no more than 10 minutes of homework per day. That number goes up to 20 minutes for first and second grade and increases by 10 minutes for each subsequent grade level up to fifth grade. Once a student is in middle school, a child should expect no more than an average of 15 minutes per night per academic class, which increases to 20 minutes per class per night for seventh and eighth grade, 25 for high school freshmen and sophomores and 30 minutes for juniors and seniors.

Of course, where homework is concerned, a formula is never that straightforward. Reading practice in the lower grades is an expected part of homework and can add to the allotted time. Advanced Placement and honors courses can also throw the formula out of whack.

parentingThe difficulty of the work is another variable. “We would use the words ‘reasonable’ or ‘appropriate’ to gauge that we don’t want it to be too easy,” Bacca says. “Typically, we say homework should be something students can do on their own, something that they have already been taught. Getting to that right difficulty zone is something that teachers think about quite a bit.”

Because she teaches first grade in a gifted magnet, Lisa – who asked that her last name not be given – says that homework can take certain students little more than five minutes to complete, while others will still be struggling after two hours. Her target is 20-30 minutes per night. After their child has spent that amount of time, parents are instructed to write a note saying, “We worked diligently and here’s what we were able to complete.”

“I honestly think, at the end of six hours, that the kids are tired. They want to go home and play. They want to be kids and have a childhood,” Lisa says. “They’re 6 years old. I’m always most likely to just say, if [the homework] is too much, don’t do it.”

Lisa gained a new perspective when her son started school. The weekly homework packets he brought home were part of what made her decide to remove her son from the bilingual charter school he attended and enroll him in a regular LAUSD school.

The problem, she says, wasn’t that her son was being overworked, but that he was barely being engaged. “It was the same homework every single night,” says Lisa. “It was a sort of book report where the kids didn’t really have to do much. It would even start a sentence for them, and it had these little bubbles on it and it would say, ‘This book is mostly about…’ and the kid had to write two words. He wasn’t even writing in complete sentences. I felt it was truly a waste of my kid’s time. I really felt he got nothing out of it.”

No-Homework Pioneers parenting

Three years ago, The Country School, a Valley Village private school serving students in kindergarten through eighth grade, implemented a no-homework policy for kindergarten through grade four. By the second half of fifth grade, students get light “streamlined” homework which, administrators say, prepares them for middle school.

The “no homework” move was not without its controversy. Head of School Holly Novick had attended a leadership conference and listened to a presentation from Denise Pope, a senior lecturer in Stanford University’s Graduate School of Education who touts the benefits of a homework-free education. When Pope asked which school representatives would be on board to go homework-free, the room fell silent. But Novick returned to her school and persuaded her teachers that this was the way to go.

“I said, ‘If there’s a school in L.A. that’s going to be the trailblazer, we have to be the school and we have to do it right,” Novick says. “We got everything together and we implemented it and, lo and behold, the majority of our parents were really on board with it.”

Educational Records Bureau (a nonprofit achievement assessment organization) test scores increased across the board the first year after the no-homework policy went into effect. More importantly, Novick says, the kids now come to school rested and happy. “When I launched this, I told the parents, ‘We’re giving you your kids back,’ and kids, ‘We’re giving you your lives back,’” Novick says.

McDermott was earning her bachelor’s degree in communication when her son was beginning his educational career. By the time he graduated, she was teaching communications studies at Antelope Valley College where, she reports, her students could still relate to battles over homework they faced as high schoolers.

She recalls a study that talked about the frequency with which parents brought up homework in conversation with their school-age children. So much of parent conversation from pick-up to bedtime revolved around that topic.

“It’s about, ‘What is your homework? How much did you get done? We have to get this done.’ You start that constant policing until they go to bed,” McDermott says. “This is not right. When I come home after a long day at work, this is not how I want to spend my time every night of the week and weekends.”

Many of today’s young students no doubt share McDermott’s view.

Evan Henerson is a freelance lifestyle and arts writer based in Los Angeles. He has written extensively for the “Jewish Journal,” “International Bowling Industry” and the “Los Angeles Daily News,” where he was a staff writer for nine years. 

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