Why We All Need a Parenting Village

Published November 30, 2017

By Ryane Nicole Granados

Ryane Nicole Granados, third from left, expresses her joy at being among her village of friends.

My need for a parenting village became clear when I found myself sitting in my son’s school valet line belting out the lyrics to Barbara Streisand’s “People.” The chorus of horns behind me was drowned out by my off-key karaoke: “People who need people are the luckiest people in the world!” I was sleep deprived, coming off a slew of stressful doctor appointments for my middle son, and I had decided it was best that I pick up in valet since I had worn the same shirt for three days in a row.

It was during this frenzied moment that the first of many friends I didn’t exactly know I needed knocked on my car window. “Jeez! Look at you! Where have you been?” she asked.

I had taken a sabbatical from college teaching with the goal of carrying out research for my campus, completing my novel and ushering my son into third grade while managing the nuanced details of his rare medical diagnosis. Seeing that my sabbatical was only a semester long, I was clearly delusional in my expectations of what can be done in 16 weeks.

I had barely cracked my car window, but this unwavering mom friend was relentless in her expressions of concern and care. She stuck her hand through the narrow slit of the open window and wiped a crumb off the corner of my mouth. (I had been eating a bag of chips found in the backseat of the car.) At the sensation of her touch I started to cry. We spent the rest of the afternoon at a park near the school, catching up, letting the kids play. I knew dinner would be late, homework prolonged and my weary mom spirit renewed.

This aforementioned mom is one of the five friendship varieties that comprise what I believe is a vital village for helping parents thrive. It’s been suggested it takes a village to raise a child, but I would argue the village is far more valuable when designed with parents in mind. The five types of friends needed for an inclusive village are:

The Warrior Friend. This friend is always ready for battle. She is armed with quick wit and fierce loyalty, and won’t let you succumb to defeat. If you have an IEP meeting, she will volunteer to show up with you. If you lose yourself to the soundtrack of “Funny Girl” in the school carpool line, she will wipe crumbs off your face and remind you of the outstanding parental force you truly are.
The Let-Loose Friend. There will be no pity party with this friend, but there will be a party. She will orchestrate milestone celebrations or, more importantly, “just because” celebrations. Making it to Friday is worthy of wine or pizza or play dates – all in a judgment-free zone. With the Let-Loose Friend you can breathe and crash and belly laugh. You can put some of your worries on a shelf. This friend’s car is likely as messy as yours.
The Rally-the-Troops Friend. Also known as The Group Texter, she is the one who will keep the village in sync. Like a choir director making certain the voices all sing the same tune, The Rally-the-Troops friend has a knack for garnering the group support needed during good times and bad. This friend understands that attitude is as contagious as a common cold. For this reason, she endeavors to spread positive thinking throughout the village. When she kicks off a group text, you will eventually sign off feeling grateful and empowered by the village dynamics cheering you on.
The Savvy Friend. This friend is connected and seems to know a little something about everything. She is the first to inform you of new interventions, up-to-date research or inclusive activities for the kids. She is also an astute researcher. Whatever she doesn’t know, she’ll find out in the time it takes you to navigate evening traffic.
The Ally. This is a friend who may or may not have kids of her own, may or may not be involved in an inclusive community and may or may not have known you before you changed your identity from person to parent. She has an allegiance to you separate from your children; therefore, she sees you as an entity with your own needs and your own dreams. She loves your children unconditionally, but there is no obligation for you to talk to her about the trials and triumphs of parenthood. When she asks, “How are you?” she truly means you. However, she is equally eager to know how she can lend support through your unique parenting journey.

This village serves as an anchor symbolizing hope and reliability, and on that day outside my son’s school, I was in desperate need of an anchor. For far too long, my husband and I had managed to isolate ourselves in the day-to-day voyage of parenting. This could happen to any parent, but forging a village can become even harder when raising a child requiring distinct care.

Lately, I’ve started saying “Yes” more. I opened my window, and then my door, to invites, support groups and social events. I’ve been telling people what I truly need. In a humbling and liberating feat, I asked for help and I accepted it. I even did the unthinkable and began answering my phone instead of letting all calls go to voicemail. And since a village is built on the spirit of reciprocity, I have discovered some elements of The Warrior Friend, The Rally-the-Troops Friend and the Savvy Friend in me. I have become the one willing to show up at someone’s IEP, because the tide can pull us all under if we don’t have steadfast friends acting as lifeguards.

Ryane Nicole Granados is a L.A. native who earned her MFA in Creative Writing from Antioch University, Los Angeles. Her work has been featured in publications and live shows including The Manifest-Station, Mutha Magazine, Expressing Motherhood, The Nervous Breakdown and Scary Mommy. This wife, writer, professor and devoted mom laughs loud and hard, even in the most difficult of circumstances. As a result, she hopes her writing will inspire, challenge, amuse and motivate thinking that cultivates positive change. When not managing her house full of sons, she can be found working on her novel, grading student essays or binge watching reality TV shows while eating her children’s leftover Halloween candy.

Keeping the Holidays Inclusive and Fun for All

Published November 30, 2017

By Evan Henerson

Keep things simple. Plan ahead. Stay flexible. Keep the lines of communication open.

They may seem like common-sense tips for just about any life situation, but for parents of children with disabilities, these bits of wisdom are especially applicable during the holiday season – a time of year that is often as stressful as it is joyous.

You want to celebrate just like – and often in the company of – friends, family and loved ones. The demands of your child’s disability make “traditional” celebrations challenging or, in some cases, not possible, but people still want to include you in the holidays. So, you negotiate the logistics and, sometimes, the guilt.

“It sort of depends where people are in the process of coming to terms with who their child is,” says Leslie Lobel, a consultant who works with children with disabilities and their parents, and whose daughter is a resident of United Cerebral Palsy of Los Angeles’s group home. “The holidays can be a time where you’re thankful for a healthy year. It can also be the time of year when you realize that other children your child’s age are reaching milestones. All of these emotions come up and everything is heightened by the frenzy of the holidays.”

Whatever a parent’s state of mind, holiday staples such as gift-giving, travel and family get-togethers are still doable, according to Lobel and other disability consultants and advocates. Help is available, and planning, sensitivity and simplicity will invariably play a role.

Specialized Gift-Giving

At this time of year, everyone from close friends and family to distant relatives who do not see your child often will be asking: “What can I get him?”

The sentiment is a generous one, but rephrasing the question shows that the gift-giver has thought more specifically about the child — for instance, taking into account a child’s limited mobility or severe developmental delays.

“The most minor adjustment to that question takes the pressure off me,” says Lobel, whose daughter Sarah has physical and developmental disabilities. More helpful questions, she says, could include: “Is there something Sarah has particularly enjoyed this year?” “Is there something that she needs replaced?” and “What kinds of things does she like to wear that are most comfortable for her?”

A considerate gift-giver will find that a little bit of careful thought will go a long way. The season’s most popular toy will not necessarily be appropriate for a child with sensory issues or developmental delays. But items or experiences that a parent and child can share – such as books, music or soft blankets – are safe. The same is true for gift certificates for stores with a wide selection of items, including Brookstone, Target or Bed Bath & Beyond. If the gift-giver can sew, he or she could offer to create a pillow or some sort of comfortable wheelchair accessory.

Parents of children with disabilities should feel free to suggest gifts, which isn’t pushy. It is a way of advocating for the child. “We work with our parents to be able to feel comfortable advocating for their child and sharing what their child needs,” says Laura Campana, director of infant and early childhood programs at Junior Blind of America and mother of a child with a disability. “I would mention what my child is into. For a lot of special-needs kids, visually impaired or otherwise, vibration is huge. They’re going to like any toy that vibrates.”

Increased awareness of the needs of people with disabilities of all sorts has opened up many new possibilities for gift-givers. Large retailers, including Toys “R” Us and Amazon, have gifts specifically designed for people with disabilities. Thoughtful, personalized gestures such as a donation in the child’s name to a program, organization or service that has helped the family are another option. “I got assistance from a disability-rights organization, and a friend knew that,” Lobel says. “So, when someone makes a donation to something that’s made a difference in our lives, wow! That’s paying it forward, right? That’s what the holidays are meant to be about.”

Navigating Family Gatherings

Many parents have tales of holiday gatherings that went sideways. Their child wouldn’t sit still, didn’t like the food, made noise, didn’t (or couldn’t) converse. In other words, she acted like herself.

Oftentimes, out of fear of potential embarrassment and “ruining” what is supposed to be a joyous occasion, parents with a child who has a disability cocoon themselves during the holidays, politely declining invitations. That’s their choice, say advocates, but it’s not the only option. With some advance preparation, parents can increase the chances of a successful event.

That might mean asking the hosts about their home’s bathroom accessibility if the child uses a wheelchair, or letting them know that the child is afraid of dogs or cats. For a child with a developmental disability, the parent could ask what time the food will be served and – depending on the child’s needs – be prepared to arrive late or leave early.

When she was dating the man who would eventually become her husband, Elaine Hall – then a single parent – went to her future in-laws’ Hanukkah celebration. She arrived promptly at 5 p.m. with her son, Neal, who has autism and was 7 at the time. Hall was not aware that the family’s tradition was to have everyone participate in the cooking, and that the food would not be on the table until 7 p.m.

“Neal held it together for two hours and when we sat down, we felt everybody was looking at us as we dropped a fork and made a mess with the apple sauce,” says Hall. “It went from bad to worse. Presents were at 9. He was tired, and things got really bad really fast. I had to carry him out.”

From that experience, Hall, founder of The Miracle Project and author of “The Seven Keys to Unlock and Understand Autism,” learned the value of gathering information in advance. If the food would be served at 7 p.m., then that’s when she and Neal would arrive. She asked hosts if they could provide a quiet room where Neal could take a break, or whether they would be OK with them taking frequent walks. If a large gathering is planned, a parent and child might ask whether they can drop by two hours before things get started and stay for just a short part of the actual party.

It also helps, Hall says, to prepare the child in advance by talking or reading about the holiday being celebrated and about what they can expect. If the gathering will include a ceremony, a parent could practice the ritual with the child. Another option: Host your own gathering and have the relatives come to you.

“I think people want to hold on to the feeling they had as a child and make everything look like it did with the rituals being exactly the same,” Hall says. “If you have a new family member who has a disability, it’s a whole different experience. If we’re really in the true sense of giving, then giving of ourselves to do things a little differently can enhance the entire experience.”

Holiday Travel

If taking a child with a disability to an unfamiliar place for dinner or a holiday party presents a challenge, then packing up the car for a road trip or getting on an airplane is a challenge on steroids.

Advance preparation before the journey is critical. Parents have to figure out how to bring all of the necessary medications, special equipment and, if applicable, know where the closest hospital or emergency room is located.

The journey comes with its own variables, particularly if a parent is bringing a child with sensory sensitivity on an airplane. Air travel, with all of its unfamiliar sounds, confinement, cabin pressure and cramped bathrooms, can be difficult to prepare for. Disability activists recommend calling the airline in advance and trying to arrange for an expedited check-in to avoid lines. Airlines have partnered with autism advocacy groups to organize specialized “airport experience rehearsals” in certain cities for people on the autism spectrum.

“We prepared him,” recalls Hall of a flight with her son, Neal, who has autism, to Washington DC. “We practiced every single detail. We went through security and I thought, ‘Man, we’ve got this.’ What I didn’t practice is that the airplane is outside, and isn’t it cool that you can see it through the glass and then all the alarms are going off as he’s trying to walk out the door.” Hall, author of “The Seven Keys to Unlock and Understand Autism,” says preparation for the unexpected is essential. “The best preparation you can do is to be really calm, really centered,” she says.

Travel by car, while easier in some ways, offers its own set of challenges. How, for instance, do you keep a child with a disability entertained for hours on end? Besides relying on the diversions of tablets and technology, Hall hit a 99-cent store, buying a bunch of items for her son to unwrap at various points during the journey.

The standard advice for road trips applies to holiday travel for kids with disabilities – and those without: Don’t forget the snacks, chargers, music and favorite toys. In addition, plan plenty of bathroom breaks and sightseeing stops to break up the trip.

As with party-going, family gatherings and gift-giving, parents of children with disabilities need to decide for themselves how much holiday travel they can handle. Many organizations devoted to people with disabilities hold their own holiday celebrations, which are geared toward the children’s abilities and connecting parents with other parents.

“Our biggest thing we tell families is, ‘Do what works for you,’” says Campana. “Many times, parents are bending over backwards trying to make family members or other people happy, and their kids end up suffering in the end. Do what works for you. That’s your new normal.”

Practice gratitude with your kids this Thanksgiving with a ‘Thankful Jar’

Published November 14, 2017

By Daniella Guzman

As much as I remind my young daughters to show gratitude by saying “thank you” and other niceties, I often wonder if I’m expecting too much of them. Is it unreasonable to want my 2-year-old and 6-year-old to see beyond the immediacy of their own wants and needs and remember to extend graciousness to others? Perhaps, but I keep at it anyway.

My mom raised me to regard gratitude as one of the greatest virtues, and this is the upbringing I want to pass on to my daughters – before it’s too late.

To transform gratitude into something tangible and fun that I can do with the girls, I recently pulled out some simple craft materials: paper, scissors, a pen and a Mason jar. I explained to my daughters that we were going to create a “Thankful Jar.” The Thankful Jar helps young kids get into the habit of expressing appreciation every day. Actually, it’s a good practice that your entire family can start right now. For November, try asking your kids questions that help them understand, embrace and be thankful for all that they have.

Here’s how it works: Write down thought-provoking, age-appropriate questions on a piece of paper. Cut out each question separately and place them in a jar. Every day at dinner, pull a question. Go around the table asking each person the question of the day. Listen to everyone carefully and with compassion, and stress that there are no right or wrong answers. The goal is to teach gratitude and give family members of all ages a voice.

Here is a list of questions and prompts that worked for my family, but you can create your own:

What smell are you grateful for?
What talent or skill are you thankful for?
What technology are you thankful for?
I am thankful I learned how to:
What food are you most grateful for?
What in nature are you grateful for?
I am thankful for this one moment that’s made me a stronger person:
What struggle are you grateful for?
I am thankful that I get to see or look at this:
I am thankful for this one specific thing that brings me joy:
What childhood lesson are you grateful for?
What memory are you grateful for?
What about your body are you grateful for?
What tradition are you grateful for?
What holiday are you grateful for?
What place are you grateful for?
What has a teacher or family member donen to make you grateful?
What small thing that happened to you today are you grateful for?
What part of your health are you grateful for?
What challenge are you grateful for?

This simple exercise can help families find joy by verbally sharing their gratitude on a daily basis. I found that it helped raise my daughters’ consciousness about their surroundings and the people in their lives.

As my mom always says, “It is not happy people who are thankful, it is thankful people who are truly happy.”

Daniella Guzman is the anchor on NBC4 Southern California’s “Today in LA” weekday morning newscast, 4:30-7 a.m., and a mother of two. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram @daniellanbcla.

Our Favorite Products For November

Published November 6, 2017

For November, we’ve chosen a couple of fun learning games, a fun Thomas & Friends play set, a way to make your kids’ digital world safer and a connection to fun kid-friendly podcasts.

Kid Podcast ‘Brains On!’ Explores Down Syndrome

Published October 31, 2017

By Christina Elston

“Brains On!” reporter Sanden Totten, center, visited Down Home Ranch as part of the podcast’s episode about Down syndrome. PHOTO COURTESY BRAINS ON!

What do your kids know about Down syndrome? How about your kids’ friends and classmates? A great, age-appropriate way for them to learn more is via the “Brains On!” podcast produced by American Public Media – with writing and reporting from L.A.’s own Sanden Totten, formerly a science reporter at public radio station KPCC.

In honor of Down Syndrome Awareness Month in October, “Brains On!” devoted an episode to the disability.

Like all episodes, this one originated with a question sent in by a kid listener. About two years ago, a boy named Max made a friend named Noah – who happens to have Down syndrome – and became curious about what causes Down syndrome. When they received the question, Totten and his colleagues – host Molly Bloom and producer Marc Sanchez – were doing the show as a sideline. “If we were going to tackle that topic, we wanted to do it right,” Totten says.

The opportunity came in January when the three started doing “Brains On!” full time.

Bloom co-hosts each episode with a kid, and in this case she’s joined by Ezra and his sister Fiona, who has Down syndrome. The episode explains that Down syndrome is caused by an extra copy of the 21^st chromosome, and talks about some of the symptoms. “I learned probably as much as all of our listeners did,” says Totten. He was especially interested to learn about muscle hypotonia, a lack of muscle tone that can cause people with Down syndrome to have trouble with coordination and speech. Listeners might notice that Fiona is a little difficult to understand, but the episode also showcases her speech therapy.

Fiona, who has Down syndrome, and her brother Ezra, who does not, co-hosted the episode. PHOTO COURTESY BRAINS ON!

The episode also showcases ways that kids with and without Down syndrome are alike, and offers tips for children who know or meet someone with Down syndrome. Totten has an older brother who is developmentally delayed, and remembers that as a kid, he saw other kids struggle with how to relate. “That really hurt in some ways,” says Totten, who wanted to offer a guide to help kids better relate to someone with a disability. “To me, that just felt like something important.”

The episode is engaging, kid friendly and fun while also providing solid information about Down syndrome. It’s a fun listen – and the first episode of “Brains On!” about a disability. Totten says the team is considering tackling ADHD in a future episode.

To date, the podcast, which has been going strong for at least five years, has received 3,044 questions from kids. As many as 20 have come in during a single day. “Every day, there’s a flood of them,” Totten says.

They devote an episode to a topic when they get lots of questions on a particular subject – such as electricity or cars. But sometimes, a question is just unique. One kid wrote in and asked: If a lake of lemonade evaporated, would it rain lemonade? “Only a kid could think of a question like that, and only a show like ‘Brains On!’ could answer it,” Totten says.

He adds that the flood of emailed questions, drawings, audio files and high-fives he receives from kids is one of the best parts of his job. “It’s like this stream of delight in my in-box every day.” They heard from a family in Joshua Tree that named their three goats after the “Brains On!” crew, and families have written in to share that their kids play “Brians On!” at home.

“Brains On!” has also teamed up with the National Science Foundation as the first podcast to study how kids learn via podcasts. Totten, Bloom and Sanchez hope that by finding out what works best, they can improve their podcast and share that information with others as well. Visit BrainsOn.org to listen to the podcast – including a wealth of past episodes – answer the National Science Foundation survey or send questions to the “Brains On!” team.

Tackling Four Common Misconceptions About Dyslexia

Published October 30, 2017

Junior high teacher Micki Simon works with a student at The Prentice School. PHOTO COURTESY THE PRENTICE SCHOOL

While research over the years has continued to yield much information about dyslexia, the learning disorder is still easily misunderstood. These misconceptions can lead to ineffective approaches to learning, doing a disservice to those with the disorder. Debunking some of the myths surrounding dyslexia can lead to better outcomes for everyone involved.

Here are the facts about four of the most common misconceptions about dyslexia:

Misconception: Dyslexia is a visual problem. While some people with dyslexia have problems with their vision, the disorder is not just about the way a person sees letters and numbers. The issue lies within the brain and how it processes written material. Often, letters or numbers appear out of order or even backwards. The text that is viewed through the eyes does not make sense because of the way the brain is wired.

Msiconception: Dyslexia can be outgrown. Hopeful as some may be, there is no such thing as a former dyslexic. It is a lifelong issue, whether it is diagnosed during childhood or later in life. There are no vision exercises, special glasses or medications that can remedy the disorder. Children with dyslexia inevitably become adults with dyslexia. There are, however, effective strategies that make reading and writing easier for them.

Misconception: Dyslexia cannot be diagnosed in young children. Many believe that tests to diagnose dyslexia cannot be successfully performed until a child is in third or fourth grade and failing at reading. This “wait-to-fail” approach can have tremendous psychological and clinical implications for the child. Screening can be done even before a child enters school, as children as young as 3 have shown deficits in their knowledge of letters and phonological awareness.

A number of screening tests can identify children who may be at risk for experiencing difficulty reading. Studies show that the brain is able to adapt to change when it is young, and that learning certain skills becomes more difficult as we age. Thus, it is beneficial to discover the disorder earlier in order to make preventive intervention and special education services available as necessary.

Misconception: Dyslexia means low intelligence. People with dyslexia have trouble with letters or deciphering words, but that does not mean they are not smart. People with dyslexia can be creative and bright, and with the right accommodations to assist them with reading, can perform very well in school. Some of the brightest minds in history – Albert Einstein, Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, George Washington and Leonardo da Vinci – have had dyslexia.

While students with dyslexia have to work harder than their classmates to learn how to read well, this does not mean they are any less intelligent than someone without the disorder who learns to read and write with ease. Ronald D. Davis, author of “The Gift of Dyslexia,” believes all people with dyslexia share the same talents:

They can use the brain’s ability to alter and create perceptions (the primary ability).
They are highly aware of the environment.
They are more curious than average.
They think mainly in pictures instead of words.
They are highly intuitive and insightful.
They think and perceive multidimensionally (using all the senses).

To properly teach, support and intervene in the education of a child with dyslexia or any learning difference, we must understand the challenges associated with it and put to rest the fallacies that are tied to it. Educators must be informed so that they can offer proper teaching techniques, and parents must know the facts so that they can advocate for their children.

Micki Simon, B.A., is a junior high teacher at The Prentice School in Tustin. She teaches 6th grade and is in the process of pursuing a Special Education Credential. The Prentice School offers an unparalleled learning experience to students with learning differences who possess average-to-high intelligence and whose needs have not been met in a more traditional classroom setting.

A Handy Family Tent That Makes Camping a Breeze

Published October 15, 2017

By Rina Baraz Nehdar

The first time I went camping with my husband, I told him I had a big tent that would comfortably fit us and his 6-year-old son. He laughed and still laughs at the memory of us squeezing into a tent that barely covered our two-and-a-half bodies without an inch to spare. Apparently, it was large enough for one person only. After my sons were born, we switched to RV camping but I still longed to give my kids that outdoor, fresh night air experience.

My 9 year-old-son Kaleb and I tested out the Napier Backroadz SUV Tent 13100 at a beach campground in Ventura County to see if we could make that happen. It was just us. I pictured a tent that attached to my SUV’s open trunk measuring about the space of the thin hatchback. We followed the instructions, which were cleverly attached to the tent’s bag, and had our tent up in just under 30 minutes. This was work punctuated by reading instructions and admiring the breaking waves set into the crisp blue sky.

Once up, the tent was much larger than I expected. I could see four bodies sleeping comfortably. With the added space of the car trunk, another two could join the party or it could be the perfect place to keep the gear out of the way. The mesh windows were very large, perfect for gazing at the busy seagulls or enjoying the breeze without the sun’s rays beating down on us. Although I thought my tent camping days were over, staring at the spacious polyester retreat sparked fantasies of our family, cozy and warm, huddled in our sleeping bags, trading ghost stories under the bright moon.

Clean-up was a snap from takedown to zipping the storage bag in under 10 minutes. If the 9-year-old and the 40-something could do it alone with no previous experience, anyone should be able to set it up. Next time, I can be sure that when my husband sees the roomy tent, he will agree with my assessment and the ridicule of our first experience may finally be put to rest.

It’s Play Time!

Published October 14, 2017

We’re always on the lookout for great new toys, games and books. This month, we’ve rounded up a couple of cute companions, a couple of engaging games and a fabulous personalized book.

On the Record: Teaching Kids About Family Heritage

Published October 3, 2017

By Daniella Guzman

Growing up, I remember people asking me if I considered myself more Hispanic or more American. I thought it was an odd question, because I didn’t think I had to choose between the two. My parents are from Bolivia and my brother and I were born and raised in Texas. It was hard to explain back then, but I felt I was American and at the same time truly loved and appreciated the Bolivian culture. My parents taught me to cherish the culture by sharing pictures, music, traditions and food, and by taking us on trips to visit family there. I really felt I was a combination of American and Bolivian. My husband is from Mexico, and it’s much easier, especially in L.A., to expose our daughters to Mexican culture.

Now that I’m responsible for helping create memories for my kids and passing along traditions, I wanted to put more effort into teaching them about their heritage. I got to work researching things to do and ways to teach that are engaging and memorable.

Since trying new foods is always a treat, I started there. I once read that our sense of smell is closely linked to memory, so it’s no surprise that certain scents send us back to childhood. I searched Bolivian recipes to try at home and familiarize the kids with meals I loved growing up.

Since some traditional Bolivian foods can be complicated to prepare and require ingredients that can be difficult to find, I picked easy options including salteñas, a type of savory baked empanada; and silpancho, a hearty dish of rice, potatoes, beef and fried eggs. We also discovered a local Bolivian restaurant where we could try a feast of different flavors.

At an annual Bolivian festival that celebrates the country’s independence day, we had a blast! It’s a perfect place to try new foods and experience traditional dancing and music from the region. With so much diversity in the L.A. area, there is bound to be a festival out there for every heritage.

Another idea is to look at old photo albums. My mom has several albums filled with pictures of both my parents growing up. It’s fun to watch my kids look through them with my parents and listen to their stories.

Your family’s memorabilia will blossom into rich storytelling tools that will fascinate the next generation while teaching them about where they come from.

Celebrating our heritage during Hispanic Heritage month in October teaches our girls to be proud of where they come from, and you can celebrate your heritage any time of the year. It’s all a wonderful learning opportunity. In a world with constant change, celebrating family heritage gives kids comfort, a sense of identity and stability, and can strengthen a family’s bond.

Make Your Own Pizza for National Pizza Month

Published October 3, 2017

By Christina Elston

California Pizza Kitchen’s SVP of Culinary Innovation Brian Sullivan enjoys spreading joy through pizza. PHOTOS COURTESY CALIFORNIA PIZZA KITCHEN

It’s National Pizza Month, and yes, you can make your own – with the kids.

California Pizza Kitchen’s Senior Vice President of Culinary Innovation Brian Sullivan has made a lot of pizza with a lot of people at the iconic chain’s parties and events. “Everybody just seems to love it. It’s just fun,” he says. “You get to use your hands. You get to let go and be creative.”

That being said, making and tossing your own pizza dough can be intimidating.

Whether you follow the recipe below or pick up ready-made dough at Trader Joe’s, it’s essential to get that dough up to room temperature – 70-75 degrees – before you try to shape it. Cold dough will snap right back when you stretch it out, so Sullivan lets his sit out for two to four hours first. Keep the dough covered and sealed air-tight during this time so the surface doesn’t dry out.

When it’s time to toss, don’t worry about forming a perfect circle. “Just have fun with it,” says Sullivan. “I don’t think all these pizzas need to be perfectly round.” If yours isn’t, just call it artisanal.

Encourage your kids to experiment with sauce and toppings. (“Vegetables are amazing on pizzas,” Sullivan says.) Just don’t let them add too much. “Your dough-to-topping ratio is really important,” he explains, adding a pizza with too much topping won’t cook properly. If you’re looking to approximate CPK’s barbecue sauce, Sullivan says Sweet Baby Ray’s is the store brand that comes closest.

One more pro tip: If you’re keen to make pizza at home, consider getting something called a “pizza steel.” It’s a substitute for the more-expensive and heavier pizza stone beloved among serious home cooks. “I bought one for $50 last year, and it’s my go-to,” Sullivan says.

The Original BBQ Chicken Pizza from California Pizza Kitchen

CPK Hand-Tossed Pizza Dough

Makes four 11-inch crusts

4 ¾ cups all-purpose flour, plus more for shaping dough

2½ teaspoons fine sea salt

1 teaspoon sugar

2½ teaspoons active dry yeast

2½ teaspoons extra virgin olive oil

2 cups lukewarm water

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a dough hook, whisk 4¾ cups flour, salt, sugar and yeast. Add oil and the water, beating on low speed until dough is smooth. Divide into four balls.

Dough will keep up to three days in the refrigerator or three months in the freezer. To refrigerate, place each dough ball in a separate bowl covered with plastic wrap. To freeze, immediately after shaping, wrap each dough ball separately in plastic wrap. Place dough balls in a large sealed freezer bag. To thaw, place each ball in its own bowl covered with plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight.

Let bowls sit at room temperature (about 70 °F) covered in plastic wrap for 2 to 3 hours or until dough has more than doubled in size before using.

Original BBQ Chicken Pizza

½ cup plus 2 tablespoons of your favorite barbecue sauce

6 ounces grilled chicken breast, pulled into ¼-inch-thick slices

All-purpose flour

2 portions hand-tossed pizza dough, at room temperature

1 cup shredded smoked Gouda cheese

1½ cups shredded mozzarella cheese

½ of a small red onion, sliced into ⅛-inch-thick rings

2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro

Preheat oven to 500° F. If using a baking stone or steel, arrange a rack in the upper third of the oven and place it on the rack. Heat for 1 hour. If using a baking sheet, arrange rack in middle of oven.

In a small bowl, combine ¼ cup of barbecue sauce and the chicken. Toss well to combine; set aside.

Lightly flour a work surface. Place one portion of dough on the surface, being careful to maintain the round shape and thickness of the dough; do not press. Lightly flour the top of the dough. Using your index fingers, press a one-inch rim around the outer edge of the circle. Once rim is formed, press air out of the center of the dough, being careful not to flatten the rim. Using your knuckles, from the bottom of the dough, carefully stretch the dough, rotating as your work, to form an 11-inch circle. Take care to maintain a uniform thickness in the center. Gently toss dough in the air a few times. Set aside and repeat with remaining ball of dough. Lightly sprinkle a pizza peel or rimless baking sheet with flour. Transfer one dough circle to prepared peel. (If using a baking sheet, lightly flour the baking sheet. Transfer one dough circle to the prepared sheet.)

Top dough circle on peel with 2 tablespoons barbecue sauce, spreading evenly to base of rim. Top with ½ cup smoked Gouda and ¾ cup mozzarella. Top with half of the onion and half of the chicken.

Using small, quick back-and-fourth movements, slide pizza from peel onto hot pizza stone. (If using a baking sheet, place sheet on rack in oven.) Bake, rotating pizza halfway through baking time, until bottom of crust is crisp and top is blistered, 6 to 8 minutes.

Drizzle about 1 tablespoon of the remaining barbecue sauce over the cooked pizza. Top with 1 tablespoon of the chopped cilantro; serve immediately. Repeat with remaining dough circle and toppings.

9 Ways to Help Your Kids Cope With News of the Las Vegas Shootings

Published October 2, 2017

By Lauren Schneider, LCSW

As our nation mourns and reacts to another mass shooting, we at OUR HOUSE Grief Support Center are struck by the ways in which this event evokes similar feelings that arose in response to other recent traumatic events. Whether it was in the aftermath of a shooting that took place at a school, congregation, work place, vigil or nightclub, adults struggle to find the words to comfort and support their children. At a loss for the “right” words or fearing a strong reaction, adults may avoid the topic altogether. Far too often, children are left alone, struggling to understand why bad and scary things happen and searching for ways to cope. The following are some suggested ways to approach the subject, address feelings, and provide a sense of safety and containment for children:

1. First, determine if your child has acquired knowledge about the traumatic event by asking, “Has anything happened today that you have questions or feelings about?” It’s OK for them not to know, especially if they are very young.

2. Respect your child’s need to know and assess their level of exposure to the facts. Be prepared to add information if the child wants to know details. Answer in an age-appropriate and honest way. For example: “A bad person used a gun to shoot people at a school.” You can follow up by asking, “Do you have any questions?” and then add information based on the question.

3. Provide a safe environment for your children to express their concerns and feelings. Let them know that all of their feelings are OK.

4. Address your child’s fears for their own safety by offering reassurance that their school and home are safe places and that they are cared for there.

5. Limit exposure to news coverage and adult conversations about the traumatic event as much as possible. Turn off the television and monitor internet usage.

6. Decrease nighttime anxieties by preparing your child for bedtime by turning off television and computers and engaging in soothing activities such as listening to soft music, warm baths and, for young children, reading bedtime stories.

7. Seek professional help if your child exhibits extreme changes in their sleeping, eating, mood or if you are concerned about the way your child is behaving.

8. Model healthy ways to cope, including talking to someone you trust, exercising, eating healthy foods and knowing that all feelings are OK.

9. Honor the memory of those who died and decrease feelings of helplessness by making a card or sending a donation to the families affected by the tragedy.

Lauren Schneider, LCSW, is clinical director of child and adolescent programs at OUR HOUSE Grief Support Center, which has facilities in West L.A., Koreatown, Woodland Hills and Orange County and is dedicated to providing the community with grief support services, education, resources and hope. Learn more at www.ourhouse-grief.org.

Doc Talk: Are You Ready for Flu Season?

Published September 30, 2017

By Christina Elston

Cold and flu season is upon us. Margaret Khoury, M.D., pediatric infectious disease specialist and the regional lead of the Kaiser Permanente Southern California Flu Vaccination Program, says we never know how long or severe the season will be, but that Australia – which has its flu season during our summer – has reported an early start to the season and twice as many cases of flu as they had last year. “We are really very worried that this is going to be a tough winter for all of us,” she says.

While the common cold is generally a milder illness kids’ bodies can battle on their own, the flu will keep your child in bed for a week or two – and can cause life-threatening complications.

This means it’s best to get your family’s flu shots by the end of the month. “No trick-or-treating for Halloween without flu vaccine,” says Khoury.

What is the difference between a cold and the flu, and how can parents tell?

Colds are very common in children during winter season, and they can start as early as September, after school starts and kids start to interact with each other. There is a variety of different viruses that can cause them, and they are usually milder. Kids may have a little bit of fever, runny nose and cough and just don’t feel well. It usually takes kids seven to 10 or 14 days to recover, and common colds don’t usually cause complications. Sometimes a child can develop an ear infection, sometimes they can develop a chest infection, and they may require antibiotics for those complications. But most common colds will go away on their own. The child’s immune system can handle it.

Influenza or flu is a more serious infection. It always comes with high fever, body aches and sore throats. A lot of kids may have a stomach upset with vomiting and diarrhea. The infection usually is quite severe for a good five to seven days, where kids are not able to attend school, they’re quite ill, they have no energy, they don’t feel well. Influenza also puts kids, especially the younger ones, at risk for serious complications such as severe pneumonia, brain infection or heart infection.

What is happening with the intranasal flu vaccine this year?

Like last year, flu vaccine only comes as a shot. For the past two years, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention does not recommend the intranasal or the spray flu vaccine, because we found it was not protective against certain strains of influenza A.

What is your number-one strategy for helping kids deal with their shots with a minimum of discomfort?

Younger kids are the ones that are more anxious about getting shots. We always engage parents to distract kids and to help them get through it. The longer kids wait for the shot, the more anxious they get, so we try to make it as quick and as comfortable as possible. We do acknowledge, especially with older kids, that the shot will hurt, but it’s a quick poke and then it’s gone. No matter how you approach it, there is going to be some associated pain. We never lie to kids about it. And we acknowledge that nobody likes shots. I don’t like getting shots, but we take it because we want to stay healthy.

Remind our families of all the preventive measures that we are supposed to teach our children, along with giving them the flu vaccine.

To stay healthy, you need to keep a healthy lifestyle. We really encourage our parents and our children to go to bed on time. Sleep is very important in keeping ourselves healthy. We encourage kids to make the right healthy choices food-wise. The healthier our diets, the healthier our immune system. So, we tell them, “Go green. Let’s eat those veggies. They are very important in our diet.”

Of course we teach everyone that hand-washing is very, very important. Especially when we come from outside, when we prepare food and before we eat, we want to make sure that those hands are as clean as possible.

We also ask our kids to cover their cough. When we’re sick, we don’t want to cough on somebody else, so we tell them, “Be a vampire. Cover your cough.” You can either cough into your sleeve, or sneeze or cough into a tissue. If we don’t have anything available and we end up coughing into our hands, we need to wash those hands.

What is the biggest mistake that parents make when their kids get sick?

Sometimes, we don’t recognize that kids are sick, and we continue our routine and activities at the same pace. That creates problems because we need extra sleep and we need to trim off unnecessary activities when we’re not feeling well.

If the child has fever, they should stay home. They shouldn’t be sent to school if they’re not feeling well, because that will only make the recovery longer. This is the time to say maybe no soccer game or no soccer practice until we feel better.

How does a parent know whether to keep a child with the sniffles home from school?

Margaret Khoury, M.D., is a pediatric infectious disease specialist and the regional lead of the Kaiser Permanente Southern California Flu Vaccination Program.

Sniffles alone, when the child is otherwise feeling well and has good energy, are not a reason to keep the child at home. But if the child is having high fever, feeling tired, having vomiting, just not themselves, then we should allow the child to rest for a day or two at home until those symptoms improve. If the child is not feeling well stomach-wise, or has vomiting, that also is not a good time to send them to school. We just need to be smart about making that decision.

How does a parent know whether they should take a child who seems to have a cold or the flu to the doctor?

We recommend for parents to be very watchful for any complications of common colds. If their child has fever lasting longer than three days, is unusually sleepy, doesn’t want to drink liquids, is having difficulty breathing, if they look pale, if they’re not keeping their liquids down, you definitely need to seek medical care.

It is expected that kids with a common cold should be starting to feel better by day five. So, if they’re not feeling better, then we need to think, “Is there something else going on?” And that warrants a visit with the doctor.

Even if we get our kids their flu shots and are very careful to take the preventive measures we should, how many colds can we expect our kids to get this season?

The younger the child, the higher the chance of having recurrent infections during the winter season, especially if this is their first year in preschool or daycare or school. It is not unusual, in the four to six months of the winter season, for a child to have one to two infections a month. Parents should be prepared that that first season may be a tough season, but the next season will be better. If we practice all those healthy approaches to winter season, we still have a good chance of getting sick here and there, but if we really pay attention and follow all those recommendations, we can make the infections less frequent and we also can make the recovery faster.

Best Places to See Fall Colors in L.A.

Published September 22, 2017

These fun spots to check out fall foliage in the L.A. offer a great way to spend the afternoon with the family. Enjoy the cooler air and sip some cider as you experience all the season has to offer.

Best Cafés For After-School Snacks

Published September 22, 2017

Help your kids unwind after a long day at school at one of these cute spots perfect for an after-school treat. Some offer play areas or indoor playgrounds.

Best Places for Apple Picking

Published September 22, 2017

Skip the grocery store and see what these fun U-Pick farms have to offer. Little ones will love exploring these fun farms and filling their bags to the brim with apples they picked themselves.

Aligning Your Kids’ Enrichment With Your Big-Picture Goals

Published September 19, 2017

By Kate Korsh

At Culinary Kids Academy, the goal is for young cooks to be confident and social, have fun and laugh while they learn. PHOTO COURTESY CULINARY KIDS ADVENTURE

My 7-year-old son is a joiner. He plays Little League, basketball and dances in a hip-hop class. When the brochure for after-school enrichment comes home in his backpack, he pores over the choices, circling everything that interests him. This past year, he tried drum lessons, skateboarding, game design and cooking.

I love his enthusiasm, but almost every day I see articles online about the dangers of having overscheduled kids. Am I doing him a disservice? Does he need more free time? More time to be bored?

Meanwhile, my 5-year-old daughter is at her happiest when I say we’re going to have a “homebody day.” Her vocation in life seems to be Professional Pajama Wearer. So, while my son is at an activity, she and I are often at home setting up elaborate stuffed animal scenarios. She does do dance class, but sometimes I worry. Is she getting left behind?

When I think about it too much, the questions about my kids’ extracurriculars seem never-ending. What if they want to quit something? How do I best balance sports, arts and other arenas such as cooking and coding? Should I be prompting them to participate more in activities that are counter to gender stereotypes? If they like something but aren’t particularly talented at it, is that OK? And if they’re talented at it, should I be providing additional coaching to help them excel?

When it comes to activities, how does a parent know when and what to do for their kids?

I decide to stop ruminating and ask some of these questions out loud. I start by speaking with Jenny Bowen Storey, a local marriage and family therapist and stepmom to a 12-year-old boy. For her, the key lies in paying attention – and not seizing control. “Ultimately, the parents’ job is to be encouraging and supportive of what the child wants to do,” says Storey. She advises watching for “little glimmers of what your child naturally gravitates toward.”

And once your children are involved in something, open communication remains essential. Parents want to be “really listening to kids’ concerns or issues,” says Storey. “It can be hard to take your own desires out of the equation and support the child as their own person. Sometimes, there’s a lot of projection.”

Another L.A. therapist I talk to agrees that being attuned to children and following their lead is crucial for a healthy extracurricular life. “If you allow the child to initiate, they’re likely to be able to put more time into an activity,” says dad and LMFT Ted Williams. “If you’re the leader, they’re less likely to stick with something. Follow-through is more difficult when the source of motivation is external.” So, when it comes to planning activities for your child, Williams suggests, “Ask yourself: ‘Am I doing this for my child or for myself?’”

This idea of letting the children lead and not pushing my own agenda feels right to me, but some of the nitty-gritty specifics are still nagging. So, I turn to professionals in the enrichment industry for a tutorial in the benefits of extracurriculars.

Kids at Nikki’s Tennis Crew learn skills, and often make lifelong friends. PHOTO COURTESY NIKKI’S TENNIS CREW

“We want kids to be feeling confident and secure, to be social, to have fun and laugh, and if they can learn as well, all the better,” says Danny Corsun, owner of Culinary Kids Academy, which offers workshops at a number of area schools. “Enriched – that word has lost its meaning. It shouldn’t just be a place to park your child. They should mature and grow.”

The social piece is particularly important for Nicole Robbins, director of Nikki’s Tennis Crew in Studio City. “I taught two 7-year-olds this morning and they were already making a play date after class,” she laughs, adding that she values tennis as an activity someone can play throughout life. “I still play with a group from tennis class when I was 10.”

Kat Burtch, director at Creation Station Dance Studio in Mission Viejo, also touts the confidence and social-skills development of enrichment programs. “The confidence a child gets from being in the studio and mastering different skills, it starts to translate to their outside life,” she says. “We have a student who was extremely shy when she started with us two years ago. But now, she’s blossomed and is also performing in her school choir.”

As I listen to the benefits of extracurricular activities listed by those in the know, a guiding principle crystallizes for me. If a parent can take a step back and look at the big picture, if they can establish what the umbrella goals of enrichment activities are for their family, then that Big Picture Goal (let’s make it official and call it the BPG) can serve as a divining rod. The outcomes of any given activity can be compared to a family’s BPG to see whether the kids are on the right track.

Maybe the best thing about this idea is that it means that even quitting an activity can be a successful part of a child’s extracurricular life. “That’s how you learn, through experiencing,” says Storey. “The process of elimination helps you figure out what your passions are. It’s through trying new things that you get to know yourself better.”

I feel pretty confident that one of my BPGs for my kids is that they know themselves well, so this idea that sometimes quitting is OK comes as a huge relief. There is a caveat, of course. And, not surprisingly, it connects back to listening and being attuned to the child. If a child wants to quit, “Is there a challenge that they’re afraid of failing that they need to be supported or encouraged through, or is this really an activity they’re not interested in?” asks Storey.

Also, consider factors other than the activity itself. “Before anyone has a knee-jerk reaction to pull a child out of a program, it’s important to find out why they want to quit. It might not be that there’s anything wrong with the program,” says Corsun. “Rather, something might be going on socially, like a conflict with another child, that can be addressed.”

Finally, think about the pastimes that might be luring your child away. “It used to be that if a kid didn’t want to come to tennis, that was it,” says Robbins. “But that was before there was Angry Birds and Facebook. Now kids might like tennis but don’t want to come because they’d rather be playing video games. That’s why I ask for no video games before tennis time.”

Burtch sees leaving an activity as part of the process rather than a final decision. “Sometimes, when kids take a break and a step back, it allows them to dictate on their own,” she says, “to realize, I miss doing that!”

At Creation Station Dance Studio in Mission Viejo, the confidence kids gain in the studio often spills over into the rest of their lives. PHOTO COURTESY CREATION STATION DANCE

The 5-year-old son of a friend of mine recently told her he wanted to quit his karate class. She was having trouble ascertaining exactly why he wanted to quit and didn’t want him to make a thoughtless choice. She told him he, on his own, would have to explain to his sensei that he was leaving the class. She suspected that the prospect of this conversation might put an end to the matter, but she was surprised when, at the following karate class, her son calmly approached his sensei and laid it out for him. The courage and resolve it took to talk frankly with his teacher could certainly be seen as a wonderful takeaway in the BPG department, and his mom was proud of him.

I find this story inspiring partly because it shows how parental innovation can overcome anxiety in an arena where there are no step-by-step instructions, no hard-and-fast rules. This whole aspect of life, what we do with our free time, is a process of trial and error, experimentation and change. And maybe I can become comfortable with that if I keep listening and establish my BPGs.

Which brings me to my daughter, who is probably in her closet right now, seeing how many dresses she can put on at the same time. If my priorities are for her to get to know herself, she certainly seems to be doing that. If I want her to be confident, she is already a force of nature. And if I want her to grow in her social abilities, then we will periodically try out different activities. It might be too soon for some and she might not stick with them, but that will be OK if I remember that this is a process, and that we can always try again down the road.

Corsun, the cooking teacher, says, “We teach the biology of how we taste, and science says that humans have to taste something 45 times before we can really decide whether we like it or not. I would say the same is true for some activities.”

This example rings particularly true for my daughter, who is also highly selective in her eating. The best advice I ever got about handling children’s eating habits was, “You can’t control what a child puts in their mouths, only what you offer them.” This truism is possibly also an answer to many of my activity questions: The parent offers the opportunities, but it is the child who chooses.

The jury is out on whether or when my daughter will grow an affection for extracurricular activities or vegetables, but we’re going to keep periodically trying both. In the meantime, I think we all could use a good homebody day.

Kate Korsh is an L.A.-based writer and mom of two.

Remember the Rainbow for a Healthy Newborn

Published September 19, 2017

By Stephanie Dekom, M.D.

Bringing home Baby is one of the most joyful yet daunting times in one’s life. The idea that you are now actually in charge of a human life can be overwhelming, but if you just remember the colors in the rainbow, you can be well on your way to spotting any serious health problems. Before my families are discharged from the hospital after the birth of a child, I like to review this quick and effective tool.

Red: If you notice any blood in Baby’s diaper, this warrants a trip to the pediatrician’s office. Blood in the diaper can be caused by any number of things, ranging from harmless to alarming. Blood swallowed during the labor-and-delivery process, an allergy to milk proteins or more serious conditions such as inflammation or infection of the gastrointestinal tract could be the reason.

Orange: Some parents will notice orange crystals in their baby’s diapers. These are calcium oxalate crystals and are not a cause for alarm. They should resolve during the first week of life.

Yellow: Jaundice is a very common problem seen in infancy. It is a disorder of bilirubin, a breakdown product of red blood cells which, if not excreted sufficiently in the first few days of life, can cause a yellow hue to the skin. If not addressed, this bilirubin can build up in the body and cause damage to the brain. If you believe that Baby’s skin or eyes are becoming yellow, return to you pediatrician to have the baby’s bilirubin levels checked.

Green: All babies will spit up sometimes, and this is normal. The junction of the stomach and the esophagus is not tightly developed in newborns, which allows for milk to be refluxed into the mouth. However, if Baby starts spitting up green-tinged vomit, this is considered a medical emergency and you should seek medical attention.

Blue: If Baby is turning blue during feeding, this is also a red flag. About one percent of infants worldwide are born with a congenital heart problem, and a portion of those will have cyanotic heart disease. This is a heart defect that keeps a baby’s blood from being properly oxygenated. Before going home from the hospital, all babies should be screened for heart disease with a pulse oximetry test. However, if you are home and noticing Baby turning blue, seek medical attention.

White: If a baby’s stool is white or “clay-like” in color, this can signify a problem with Baby’s liver. A healthy infant’s stool will start out thick and black in color and is called meconium. It will then transition to a green color, and ultimately will be a yellow similar to mustard. If you notice pale poops, this should prompt a trip to your pediatrician.

Remember this quick mnemonic and you are ready. You are prepared You’ve got this.

Stephanie Dekom, MD is a board-certified pediatrician practicing in L.A. She is a fellow at Los Angeles County & University of Southern California medical center and Children’s Hospital Los Angeles, when she is subspecializing in neonatal-perinatal medicine.

Why We Believe in Love

Published September 7, 2017

By Erin and Emily Epstein

Ron, Emily, Erin and Elena Epstein enjoy a little tranquility at the beach. Ron and Elena are generally pretty busy as owners of L.A. Parent, but they always find time for each other and their girls.

We have two theories about love: 1) We’ve watched enough TV to convince us that people like Ross and Rachel or Lorelai and Luke should always end up together; 2) we have grown up in a house where love was a constant. Now, we know it is cliché to believe that one person is made for another, but every day we believe it more and more, and here’s why.

Our parents, Ron and Elena Epstein, met working for the CSUN newspaper. Our dad took our mom to her first baseball game, where she found out she didn’t like baseball but she did like him. She introduced him to Persian food, and that’s when he realized he had a lot of learning to do. He took a Farsi class so that he could ask for her parents’ permission and, two years later, they were married (though the Farsi never stuck).

We know everyone says that they have the best parents in the world, but they are all lying because we do. Not only did we grow up watching “Friends” and “Gilmore Girls,” we grew up watching the real thing. Now, after all this time, we know exactly what 25 years of love looks like:

Pacing up and down the field during a 6-year-old’s soccer game (a behavior that continued throughout high school and persists to this day).
Yelling at the coach of your 9-year-old daughter’s softball team, even though the coach is your husband.
Not ordering yourselves a meal, knowing there will leftovers on the kids’ plates.
Choosing a “new” place to go on our annual summer vacation. (We’ve been to Canada at least three times).
- Enjoying the “local” cuisine. (We went to CPK four times during our week in Seattle.)
Always wearing at least one item of clothing from your kids’ college/grad school so you always have a chance to brag about them. (This tradition started long ago, and we hope no one has forgotten that Erin was the eighth grade vice president.)
Not actually knowing our parents’ first names for the first five years of our lives because all we hear them call each other is “Love” and “Babe.”
Seeing roses on the kitchen table for all their little anniversaries (including December 15, the anniversary of their first date).
Watching our parents start a business together, which led them to buy a magazine (making us the L.A. Parent heirs).

As the children of “parenting experts,” we’ve come to know the perfect match when we see it. They still laugh over college memories and they are still excited to come home to each other at the end of the day. While we’d love to continue to make fun of these lovebirds, we have to save something for the 50th! Happy 25th wedding anniversary, Mom and Dad! Thank you for the constant love.

Progressive Santa Barbara Family Travel With Kids In Tow

Published August 19, 2017

By Kate Korsh

Kate Korsh’s son and daughter hike to see the llamas at El Capitan Canyon. PHOTO COURTESY KATE KORSH

I’ve always been a traveler, and before my kids were born my trips were often to exotic destinations such as Argentina and Peru. I valued the challenges of those kind of trips: Figuring out the transit system, running the exchange rate in my head and picking up key expressions in the native language. To do any of those things successfully felt like its own reward.

But having two small children has made me more cautious. I’m not quite ready to be on a plane with them for 16 hours or be at the doctor exploring what kind of malaria pills they can take. So how could I embrace family travel and still satisfy my urge to explore, to be challenged and rewarded in a new place? This is the goal in what my family calls the “progressive vacation.”

Progressive dinners – where guests have appetizers at one home or restaurant, the main course at another and dessert at a third – have an anticipatory feel that is inherently fun to me. The same structure applies for a progressive vacation. After choosing one general area such as Santa Barbara or San Diego, I break our vacation time into three chunks and reserve three places to stay in that area (so we’re not spending too much time in the car). To reward myself for packing up and moving each time, I start us in the most basic place and we increase in luxury as we go.

Glamping Out

On one such excursion we head off to Santa Barbara. We start with three nights of glamping at El Capitan Canyon. I choose a yurt because the kids really want to camp in a tent, but Mama really doesn’t want to sleep on the ground. In a family, the challenge of balance is ever-present. My kids, ages 4 and 6, love climbing and running and dirt, while I’m looking for some great food, a high thread count and maybe a moment or two of sitting down. There’s not a lot of overlap there, so the beginning of the trip will be more for them, but the end is mine.

To the kids, campgrounds are pretty close to paradise. They can run free without constantly hearing me scream, “Car!” There is a ton of downtime available for playing on the playground, swimming in the pool or building a fort under a low-lying branch. Most importantly, there are s’mores, s’mores and more s’mores.

And even though this stop is for the little ones, there’s something in it for me, too. The pyromaniac in me relishes building a raging campfire and the tall evergreens surrounding us give me the delicious feeling of escaping city life. I can lay in bed at night, exhausted from making my picky eaters three meals with just a grill-topped fire pit, and listen to the special kind of quiet of the woods, quiet filled with the small sounds of breezes and insects.

Turtles From All Angles

The turtle extravaganza at La Arcada Plaza offered 40 minutes of kid-led observation. PHOTO COURTESY KATE KORSH

After three nights, we pack up and move on to something completely different. In this case, we head to The Canary, a Kimpton hotel in the center of downtown Santa Barbara. While we have lunch by the rooftop pool, I ask my kids what their favorite part of camping had been. “Going to the bathroom in the dark!” replies my daughter without hesitation. At first, this seems like Exhibit A for our lack of common interests, as I couldn’t appreciate our hotel bathroom more after three days without indoor plumbing. But some part of me wonders whether what she liked about nocturnal bathroom visits was the challenge. Maybe we have more in common than I realize.

We head out to wander State Street and find a little courtyard called La Arcada Plaza just a block away. It is encircled by restaurants and filled with lifelike statues. In the center is a fountain that is home to more than a dozen turtles. The vibe of camping stills lingers in me and I let the kids set the pace, so we spend about 40 minutes observing the turtles from all angles.

Though our room is centrally located, the night is surprisingly quiet, and the recent camping makes me relish the climate control. In the morning, we take the trolley shuttle down State Street to the beach. We have lunch on the pier, dig in the sand and then stroll over to the carousel in the park.

After the ride, I turn to talk to the carousel operator about when the shuttle downtown stops running for the day, and my daughter decides to hug the pole of her horsey underneath the stirrups. When I turn around, she and her bathing suit are covered in axle grease. We do what cleanup we can in the public restroom, but she still looks like a chimney sweep. I silently curse my pursuit of challenges. Under different circumstances I might have lost it, but I already have a plastic bag in her suitcase full of clothes from the campground that are dirtier than I thought clothes could get, so the greasy suit joins them. Camping has desensitized me, so a little dirt doesn’t seem so bad.

Thread-Count Time

The next morning, it’s time to move again. On moving days, there is usually a three- to four-hour gap between checkout times at one site and check-in times at the next. This made the kids antsy at our last stop, so I try to make it seamless this time by planning an outing on the way. Our last, most luxurious stay will be The Four Seasons Resort The Biltmore Santa Barbara, so we head to the nearby Santa Barbara Zoo on the way. I’m jazzed to see the elephants and giraffes, but it was silly of me to think I could predict what would spark the kids’ interest. On this particular day, what captures them is a hill inside of a small play area at the center of the zoo. It is covered in artificial turf, and kids are taking turns sliding down the hill on large pieces of cardboard. This is a rare opportunity for my California babies to go “sledding,” and they are enchanted.

Less than 10 minutes after we leave the zoo, we arrive at the hotel. Going in, my expectations are high simply because it’s a Four Seasons, but this particular location has partnered with the Coral Casino Beach and Cabana Club across the street, and all hotel guests have access. One of my favorite things to do is dine as close to the waves as possible, and the restaurant there, Tydes, hangs directly above the surf. The bar there is an actual fish tank, so there are even fish cruising around right under your coaster.

Korsh’s progressive vacation made room for some Santa Barbara beach time. PHOTO COURTESY KATE KORSH

I probably wouldn’t have experienced Tydes if it was just me with the kids. I tend to stick to more casual places when it’s the three of us. Fortunately, it is finally the weekend and my husband can leave work and join us for the last leg of our trip. His presence is a different kind of luxury – the luxury of adult conversation.

Unfortunately, my body also seems to sense the luxury of having support. I’d been feeling fine going it alone for the last five days, but within hours of my husband’s arrival, I am laid low with a 24-hour stomach bug. This pattern is familiar. My health remains strong through demanding times, but the minute the last exam of a semester is over or the final deadline of a job is met – as soon as being physically vulnerable won’t have real consequences – I get sick, sick, sick.

Part of me feels bitterly sorry for myself, since I’m missing out on some of the perks of this dazzling locale (that gorgeous brunch!). Another voice in my head, however, says, Thank goodness we are not feeling this way at the campground alone with the kids. And so I alternate between the big, beautiful bed and the big, beautiful bathroom while Dad and the kids play soccer on a sprawling lawn outside.

This bump in the road shows me another way that the progressive vacation is working to my advantage: It takes the sting out of the costs of the luxury portion of the trip. If I average the expense of the Four Seasons with the budget-friendly glamping, the daily costs are more manageable. So even though I have a tendency to feel vaguely guilty at a place this nice, right now I feel like I really deserve it. And I’ve never needed thread count more.

The next day, I’m feeling better and we get some good pool time in. My husband and I watch the people come and go at the club and invent their life stories. I feel suddenly like a woman of mystery, which is a rare feeling since having children. My super power is chameleon-like adaptability, and I can slide seamlessly into any environment. I smile conspiratorially to myself as the evening cools at The Biltmore and I slip on a black sweater, still rich with the scent of woodsmoke. Sure, it was a little awkward when I had to steer The Four Seasons bellhop away from unloading the camping cooler and bag of extra toilet paper out of the trunk of my car, but it’s all part of the fun.

As my children snooze in the car on the way home, there is no question we’ve had an adventure. The packing was a little trickier, the kids got a little dirtier and there were more moving parts with three stops. But there were also a lot of treats along the way that were often linked to circumstances that allowed me to appreciate things more deeply. My exploratory spirit is satisfied. Like with the turtles in the fountain, we looked at our destination from all angles.

Santa Barbara Progressive Vacation Stops

El Capitan Canyon, 11560 Calle Real; elcapitancanyon.com; 866-352-2729
The Canary, 31 West Carrillo St.; canarysantabarbara.com; 877-468-3515
Four Seasons Resort The Biltmore, 1260 Channel Dr.; fourseasons.com; 805-969-2261

Kate Korsh is an L.A.-based writer and intrepid traveling mom of two.

Budget Beach Getaways Near L.A.

Published August 17, 2017

By Andrea Frazer

Coastal Cone in Ventura Harbor Village is one of many economical ocean-side treats for families to enjoy. PHOTO COURTESY VISIT VENTURA

If you’re like a lot of L.A. parents, the idea of a vacation with the family sounds amazing. The idea of going into debt to do it? Not so much. Maybe those dreams of a two-week stay in Hawaii have to be dashed, but don’t hit the snooze alarm. How about waking up to the idea of an inexpensive beach getaway? Here are five options, all within two hours of Los Angeles, that will bring you waves of memories for years to come.

Pulling Into Port

If you’re looking for lodging that is a step above a small motel chain, but not quite as fancy as a resort hotel, look no farther than Casa Via Mar Inn and Tennis Club (www.casaviamar.com). Located just 90 minutes from the San Fernando Valley in Port Hueneme, this hotel is easy on the eye and the budget. Some of the décor is dated, but the rooms are clean and fresh.

Port Hueneme is a great beach destination for parents who want the beauty of Oxnard and Ventura without the crowds. There are plenty of restaurants and shopping, but it’s possible to spend very little money and still have an amazing time with the kids. Port Hueneme Beach Park, only a quarter mile from the hotel, offers volleyball courts, picnic areas and a long pier. From the park, you can walk the Beach Lighthouse Promenade trail and end up at the Port Hueneme Lighthouse. Or head south on Pacific Coast Highway to Point Mugu Missile Park (at Wood Road), a hidden gem featuring vintage military planes and missiles that are well maintained and stunning to look at. The free park is open daily from sunrise to sunset. Parents should note that there are no bathrooms or other amenities.

Back at the hotel, families can enjoy the pool and the six tennis courts, where rackets are free to use and kids can play with an adult present. End your day with a soak in the outdoor spa and enjoy a complimentary breakfast in the morning featuring cereal, coffee, eggs and juice. Kitchenettes are available for a nominal extra fee.

On to Oxnard

The Vagabond Inn of Oxnard isn’t overly fancy, but leaves plenty of room for old-fashioned family fun. PHOTO COURTESY VAGABOND INN

An antidote to the rush, rush, rush of parenting, the Vagabond Inn of Oxnard (www.vagabondinn.com) gives parents permission to just be, be, be. It isn’t fancy, but if your goal is to be present with your kids, the Vagabond Inn can be a gift to your wallet and your mindset.

Your “present” over “perfect” attitude can begin as you pull out of your driveway. There’s magic in giving young kids a few dollars for gas station treats along the way. Surprise them with some Dollar Store car activities, play audiobooks or old-fashioned car games. The true value of a trip to the Vagabond Inn is in showing your kids that being with them is more important than spending money on them.

Oxnard also offers some decidedly budget-friendly amenities. Little ones love the pirate-themed park on Oxnard Beach. Set back on a grassy knoll, it features sculptures of green turtles, seats that spin, baby and kid swings, rock climbing and standing spinners. (Can’t arrrrrgue with that.) For a dose of culture, check out the Carnegie Art Museum – just $4 for adults, $1 for children, free for ages 5 and younger. Multi-taskers can take advantage of back-to-school shopping at Camarillo Premium Outlets. For food, consider Hook Burger (a nice change from traditional chains), or IHOP and Starbucks less than a mile away.

At the inn, tables and an outdoor pool provide plenty of time for the simple pleasures of a boxed lunch and fun in the water, showing your kids the value of experience over luxury.

By the Bay

One of just two hotels directly on the sand, the Embassy Suites Mandalay Bay and Beach Resort in Oxnard rises above the surf for value, amenities, service and beach access. The rooms are double the cost of the other hotels mentioned here, but you’ll get double the value. Every room features a kitchenette, sofa bed and 625 square feet of space so there’s plenty of room for wiggly kids and tired parents to cohabitate peacefully. The complimentary breakfast is the tsunami of hotel breakfasts, featuring made-to-order omelets, bacon, fresh fruit, coffee, breakfast potatoes, oatmeal and pastries – all in a beautiful dining room setting.

Oxnard Beach Park is one of the many budget-friendly family spots on that part of the coast. PHOTO COURESY OXNARD CONVENTION AND VISITORS BUREAU

Rent bikes, boogie boards, paddle boats and beach gear (kites are just $5 per hour) at Wheel Fun Rentals. Book the Island Packers and boat out to the Channel Islands to see whales, or rent a kayak through Channel Islands Harbor Rentals. Enjoy fine dining right within the hotel or bring your own supplies and cook in your room!

The resort features movie night every Saturday, a free fitness center, an expansive outdoor pool, two whirlpool baths, a beautiful sun terrace plus basketball, volleyball and tennis courts (bring your own equipment). Need a break from your kids at the end of the day? Take advantage of the hotel’s fee-based babysitting services or indulge in their nightly complimentary beverage (beer, wine, soda) and appetizer bar.

Vacationing in Ventura

For those of you not vacationing because you don’t want to leave your favorite furry friend at home, La Quinta Inn in Ventura (www.laquintaventura.com) comes to your rescue. This pet-friendly Southwest-style hotel is a step above a Vagabond in price and comfort, but not as expensive as a high-end hotel chain. Kids will love the clean outdoor pool, and you can sit nearby in the hot tub.

What makes La Quinta Inn such a great choice for families is that you can focus all your attention on activities outside the hotel and know that you have a comfortable bed and showers waiting for you at the end of the day.

Ventura has some of the most beautiful beaches in California, but if you want to keep things simple, plan on taking advantage of the San Buenaventura State Beach just three miles from the hotel. The waters are relatively calm, so parents can feel safe letting their wee ones boogie board or wade. For a little more razzle dazzle, consider taking the kids to Ventura Harbor Village. Kids love the Village Carousel and arcade games, and Coastal Cone offers a delightful ice cream shop experience for all. Bike riders can enjoy the paved Ventura-to-Ojai bike path featuring beautiful scenery and respectful riders. Mission San Buena Ventura is six minutes away, or check out the Rubicon Theater Company on Main Street with its variety of live shows.

Just three miles from La Quinta Inn in Ventura is Ventura Harbor Village, an easy place to find family fun. PHOTO COURTESY VISIT VENTURA

Back at the inn, all rooms have fridges and microwaves – a luxury for heating up bottles or bringing your own food. Upgrade to a kitchenette for just a little more. Complimentary continental breakfast includes waffles, pastries, bagels, hot and cold cereal, coffee, milk, juice and, occasionally, hard-boiled eggs.

Sunrise in San Pedro

Once a port town, San Pedro is by far one of the most under-utilized beach getaways in Los Angeles. Stay at the Sunrise Hotel (www.sunrisesanpedro.com) and the kids can enjoy seeing the cruise ships just outside Los Angeles. Without traffic, you’ll arrive in a bit over an hour. The hotel is a definite upgrade from a chain motel and the only lodging in San Pedro situated right on the harbor. It’s seven minutes away from Cabrillo Beach and the staff couldn’t be more accommodating.

In addition to Cabrillo Beach, kids will enjoy the Cabrillo Marine Aquarium just six minutes from the hotel. Dining options include everything from the cheerful Rex’s Café (great breakfast and brunch food) to Bunz Gourmet Burgers – a local favorite.

Wherever you go, keep in mind that it’s experiences, not money, that make all the difference to kids. So set aside your platinum card (and your guilt) and keep the spending to a minimum. Book your trip Monday-Thursday for lower room rates. Pack a cooler with lunches and snacks for the drive to your destination. Plan activities in advance and put a cap on kids’ spending money. You’ll have more cash in your pocket – and great memories, too.

Andrea Frazer is a San Fernando-based writer and mom of two. Visit her at www.happilytickedoff.com.

For Teens and Tweens, A Look Back at the Watts Riots

Published August 14, 2017

By Michael Berick

Our current crop of teens and tweens might not remember the Los Angeles riots that followed the Rodney King verdict in 1992. Likewise, parents may not recall the Watts Riots, a monumental moment in L.A. history that took place 52 years ago this August.

Author Karen English will appear at Vroman’s Bookstore Aug. 18. PHOTO BY THE POD PORTRAITS

On that point, parents and tweens alike can get a history lesson courtesy of the new middle-grade novel from Karen English. “It All Comes Down To This” is a coming-of-age story set against the backdrop of racial tensions brewing in Southern California (and the rest of the U.S.) in the mid-1960s. Introspective 12-year-old protagonist Sophie is an aspiring writer and the only African American girl in her neighborhood. The racial drama in her family reflects the larger racial issues being played out in the Civil Rights Movement of the time, and still holds resonance today.

English set out to write a different type of story about the African-American experience and drew upon her own childhood for inspiration. The L.A. native says she was part of one of the first black families on their block. “There were families on our street that didn’t allow black people into their homes,” she recalls. “When my sister’s friends went to play with kids from those homes, my sister would sometimes sit on our front porch to wait it out.”

In researching the Watts Riots, English was surprised to discover how limited the media coverage was then. “The L.A. Times had no black reporters and, for some reason, the KTLA helicopter seemed to show the same scenes over and over,” English says. “These days, reporting is much more thorough and has a stricter standard of accountability.”

Despite the importance of the historical elements of the book, English says its core is Sophie’s story. She hopes readers will connect with Sophie on an emotional level, “and thereby understand how alike we all are as human beings.”

English shares and signs “It All Comes Down To This” at 7 p.m. Aug. 18 at Vroman’s Bookstore (695 E. Colorado Blvd., Pasadena; www.vromansbookstore.com).

Sanity-Saving Family Recipes For the New School Year

Published August 13, 2017

By Christina Jennings

After a long day of rushing the kids to school, working, running errands and after-school activities, the last thing anyone wants to think about is where to find family recipes. Let Laura Keogh and Ceri Marsh serve as your fearless leaders in this quest for survival and sustenance. Together, they developed “The School Year Survival Cookbook,” which features 110 time-saving and kid-friendly recipes for cooking when there just aren’t enough hours in the day.

The book is filled with tips to help you plan ahead for dinner, pack school lunches, handle on-the-go breakfasts and satisfy those after-school snack cravings. Kid-friendly recipes including Yogurt Parfait Popsicles and Turkey, Apple and Cheddar Quesadillas are versatile, quick, fun to make, kid-approved and healthy, too.

Click here for more information or to purchase the book.

Pancake Tacos or Waffle Sandwiches

Marketing is one of those things you need in your back pocket as a parent. And leftovers are what you need in your refrigerator when Monday rolls around. If you make extra waffles or pancakes on the weekend, use the leftovers to dazzle your kids with these breakfast lovelies. We swear they’ll brush their hair faster if you do. (Laura Keogh)

Excerpted from The School Year Survival Cookbook: Healthy Recipes and Sanity-Saving Strategies for Every Family and Every Meal (Even Snacks) by Laura Keogh and Ceri Marsh. Copyright © 2017 Sweet Potato Chronicles. Photography copyright © 2017 Maya Visnyei Photography. Published by Appetite by Random House®, a division of Penguin Random House Canada Limited. Reproduced by arrangement with the Publisher. All rights reserved.

Whole Grain Pancake and Waffle Mix

Makes enough for 4 batches

6 cups Spelt Flour

1 tablespoon salt

1 tablespoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

In a large bowl, sift together the spelt flour, salt, baking powder and baking soda. Store in an airtight container in a cool, dry spot and use within 6 months.

Pancakes

Makes 6 to 8 pancakes

2 cups Whole Gain Pancake and Waffle Mix

2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

1 large egg

1¾ cup milk

1 tablespoon maple syrup

½ teaspoon vanilla extract

In a large bowl, whisk together the dry mix and cinnamon. In a medium bowl, whisk together the egg, milk, maple syrup and vanilla. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir until just combined. Let rest for 10 minutes.

While the batter rests, heat a griddle or large nonstick pan over medium heat. Once hot, coat griddle or pan with nonstick spray (or use butter plus a little vegetable oil to keep the butter from burning). Pour about ¼ cup of batter onto the hot griddle for each pancake. Once large bubbles pop to the surface, after 2 to 3 minutes, flip and cook another 2 minutes. Repeat with remaining batter.

Waffles

Makes about 3 large waffles

1 ½ cups Whole Grain Pancake and Waffle Mix

¾ cup milk

½ cup buttermilk

2 eggs, lightly beaten

2 tablespoons oil

Preheat your waffle iron.

Place the dry mix in a large bowl. Add the milk, buttermilk, eggs and oil and stir until just combined. Let rest for 10 minutes.

Coat waffle iron with oil or nonstick spray. Follow the waffle iron’s instructions for cooking, greasing the iron in between batches if needed.

Here are some of our favorite pancake-taco or waffle-sandwich topping combinations:

Cream cheese with sliced peaches, a drizzle of honey, chopped pecans
Ricotta cheese with sliced strawberries, a drizzle of honey
Sliced banana and strawberries, a few dollops of Greek-style yogurt, a sprinkle of cinnamon
All-natural peanut butter, sliced bananas, a drizzle of honey, a sprinkle of shaved almonds
All-natural peanut butter, raspberries and coconut
All-natural almond butter, sliced apples, a drizzle of maple syrup, a sprinkle of cinnamon

9 Kid-friendly Work-friendly Spots

Published August 12, 2017

By Lindsey Hunter Lopez

Collab&Play in Glendale is a co-working office space with on-site childcare. PHOTO COURTESY COLLAB&PLAY

School is out and your kids are on the loose, but you might still have work to get done. When it’s inconvenient to hire a babysitter, or you just need to get your children out of the house, we’ve found amazing places where you can work and they can play. From child-friendly coffee shops to full-time drop-off care, we’ve got you covered.

It Takes a Village

A celeb-approved (Rebecca Romijn is an investor) tot hot spot, WeVillage (13335 Ventura Blvd., Sherman Oaks; www.wevillage.com) features drop-off childcare from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. daily. “I couldn’t find a beautiful space with high-quality care that fit my schedule, so I decided to create it,” says founder Karen Beninati. Kids can play in the thoughtfully designed play area for an hourly rate that ranges from $14-$22 depending on age. Monthly are yearly memberships are available, as are a preschool program and catered meals.

Home of the ‘Babyccino’

Swork Coffee Bar (2160 Colorado Blvd., Eagle Rock; www.swork.com) is hip and mostly business. It’s a great place for freelancers looking to get some work done, but it has a cool kid-friendly area in the back. You’ll love the rustic/industrial décor – a break from colorful cartoon characters. You need to watch your children, but if you’ve got kids old enough to hang out and play while you work, you’re golden. You can even get a “Babyccino” (steamed milk) or tasty pastry for your little ones! The play area is not contained, so be on alert for bolters. Open 6 a.m. to 8 p.m.

The adorable Snooknuk play place has fun classes for kids, a café for meals and snacks, and is convenient to nearby studios. PHOTO COURTESY SNOOKNUK

Park Adjacent

Highland Park staple Cafe de Leche (5000 York Blvd; www.cafedeleche.net) recently converted its kids’ spot into a roasting area. But you can still grab some great coffee (or try the delicious espresso con Horchata) and take your kiddo to play at York Park across the street. And good news for Altadena parents: the newer Altadena location (2477 Lake Ave.) has a back patio that is perfect for kiddos. They have ring-toss games, books, even almond-milk steamers!

Collaborate With Kids

This Glendale work space is genius. Collab&Play (1800 S. Brand Blvd.; www.collabandplay.com) is a co-working office with on-site childcare. Freelancers, entrepreneurs and anyone who needs office space can set up shop in the communal office from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Mon.-Fri. Bring your kids with you to work and access full-time childcare if you need it. “Breastfeeding moms are able to get back to work and continue breastfeeding without the hassle of pumping,” says owner Silvana Arzeno Toledo. Packages are based on the number of hours or days you need, and range from 10 hours for $230 to unlimited use for $960 a month. Space rental and printing privileges depend on your package.

Catch Up and Play

The Coop has free wifi and an espresso bar for parents, and a wide range of spaces where kids can run and play. PHOTO COURTESY THE COOP

An indoor playground in Atwater Village, The Great Escape Club (3525 Glenhurst Ave.; www.thegreatescapeclub.squarespace.com) is a fun spot where little ones can climb and bounce. There is no parent lounge, but there’s wifi in the play area so you can catch up on email while the kids are busy. The club is best for ages 6 months to 7 years, and $12 gets your kid in from 10 a.m.-6 p.m. for Mon.-Fri. open play. Money-saving membership packages are also available.

A Lounge With Free Coffee

At Pamper & Play in West L.A. (2279 Westwood Blvd.; www.pamperplay.com), you can set up in the parent lounge while kids ages 8 months to 8 years are entertained in the supervised play area. The facility welcomes walk-ins and provides free coffee and wi-fi for grown-ups and healthy snacks available for purchase for the little ones. The admission price is $12 per hour per child for ages 3 and up, $15 for ages 2 and younger. Five-hour play packs (to be used over multiple visits) are $36 for ages 3 and up and $46 for younger children. Summer hours are 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Mon.-Fri. through Sept. 12.

Biz Adjacent

This Larchmont play place and class studio features an adorable space and great coffee for grownups. Supervised play hours at Snooknuk (506 Larchmont Blvd.; www.snooknuk.com) are from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Mon.-Fri. and admission is just $8 per day per child. The cafe sells sandwiches, salads and pastries if you or the little ones get hungry. Entertainment industry parents will appreciate that Paramount Studios and Raleigh Studios are nearby.

The Great Escape in Atwater Village has no parent lounge, but does offer wifi in the play area so parents can keep up with email while the kids play. PHOTO COURTESY THE GREAT ESCAPE

Not Cooped Up

At the COOP South Bay (903 N Catalina Ave., Redondo Beach; www.thecoopsouthbay.com), there’s no onsite childcare, but there is free wifi and an espresso bar for parents. The kids will have a blast in the ball pit, bouncer and giant slide, tee pee and dance and gaming floor, which are super clean and disinfected daily. And they might just burn off enough energy to let you get some work done. Admission is $12 per child for two hours of playtime, or purchase a monthly or 10-visit pass for $100. The COOP is open from 10 a.m.-5:30 p.m. Mon.-Thurs., 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Fri.

Go See Amy

Amy’s Playground (1115 Mission St., South Pasadena; www.amysindoorplayground.com) is a large, comfy indoor playground best for ages 5 and younger (though there is no age limit). Couches and picnic tables are available — as is wifi. You’re welcome to bring food in or purchase snacks at Amy’s store. Complimentary coffee is provided for adults who need a pick-me-up. Day passes are $8-$12 depending on age, and packages are available. Check their site for fun weekly activities such as Balloon Artists Thursdays! Hours are 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Mon.-Thurs., and until 6 p.m. on Fridays.

Lindsey Hunter Lopez is a former entertainment writer and English teacher, and a mom of two.

Kids Can Pitch In to Help Shelter Pets

Published August 8, 2017

By Lori Zanteson

The Kids for Animals program at the Pasadena Humane Society offers kids of all ages a chance to learn about animals and help out. PHOTO COURTESY PASADENA HUMANE SOCIETY

Whether it’s a stray cat, a lost dog or a baby bird that has fallen from the nest, kids love lending a hand to help animals in need.

“There’s a movement of kids who want to help animals,” says Pasadena Humane Society President and CEO Julie Bank. “The Pasadena Humane Society gets calls on how kids can get involved, probably a daily thing, and we started to really listen.” The result is the society’s new Kids for Animals program.

Kids for Animals, which officially launched in the spring, welcomes those ages 18 and younger and their families. Nobody is too little to learn about animals, make a mark on the community and be kind, Bank explains.

Children begin by taking a pledge to help animals and to complete one service project a year. Ideas in the program’s handbook range from drawing a picture of an animal and telling classmates about it to making a cat toy, fundraising or volunteering at the humane society shelter or one of its events. “We have something for everyone,” says Bank. Kids who complete their project receive a certificate.

Eight-year-old Tessa Schulz of La Cañada-Flintridge knits scarves and leashes and sells them at the Montrose Farmers Market to raise money for the shelter. “When I got my dog, Bessie, I saw all the puppies and I wanted to help them,” she says. According to Schulz’s mom, Jessica Cushman, her daughter let every passerby know about the humane society and how buying her scarves and leashes would help the animals.

“She has such a love for dogs,” Cushman says. “It’s a way for her to be involved and to give back for giving us our Bessie, the heart and soul of our house.” The opportunity also helped Schulz develop business skills, such as pitching an idea, getting in front of people and speaking with them. “I like that there’s an empowerment that comes from taking action,” Cushman says.

Schulz’s passion and altruism lead to her new role as an ambassador for Kids for Animals, helping to spread the word about the humane society and its mission. Learn more about the program online at www.pasadenahumane.org/kids.

A Mother-Daughter Trip To Hawaii

Published August 8, 2017

By Carolyn Richardson

Uncle Luki and Tahila, from Island Breeze Luau, flash the hang loose sign outside King Kamehameha’s Kona Beach Hotel. PHOTOS BY CAROLYN RICHARDSON

Ten years ago, my husband and I enjoyed post-wedding bliss on the island of Hawaii. I hadn’t been back since and booked a return trip on impulse, hoping we’d have family available to watch our 3-year-old twin boys. That would give Adriohn and me a chance to reminisce, and to enjoy some time with our 5-year-old daughter, Mirae.

Our plans fell through and it turned into a girls’ trip. All of a sudden, I had to figure out what Mirae and I would enjoy separate from Daddy and “the brothers.”

“I know what a girls’ trip is,” said Mirae. “We get our nails painted and go to the beach.”

Not on this trip! I was determined to school my mini-me on the delights of Hawaii and time in a nail salon was not going to be one of them, even if I did need a pedicure.

Flying into Hilo International Airport, on the east side of the island, gives you great access to Hawai’i Volcanoes National Park, but many volcano tours are not suitable for children under age 8, and Mauna Kea activities are restricted for kids under 16. Plus, the weather is rainier and less predictable. We chose sunny Kona, to the west, as home base for our seven-day vacation. Kona is Hawaii Island’s tourist center and a launching point for many tours, and I knew there would be plenty of on-site activities at Courtyard King Kamehameha’s Kona Beach Hotel, where we planned to stay.

A Great Night and a Chill First Day

After we landed in Kona, the Island Breeze Luau was our first planned activity. We got to enjoy dusk overlooking Kamakahonu Bay at the hotel’s oceanfront luau grounds, watching dolphins swim close to shore, enjoying live music and feeling the breeze waft through our kinky hair. Our preferred seating put us close to the stage and gave us early entry to pre-show activities and the buffet – which included mac and cheese, fries and chicken nuggets for the kids. Mai Tais and fruit punch flowed and we all learned the Hukilau, a simple hula dance. Mirae also played Ulumaika, a form of Hawaiian bowling.

The actual show lasted almost four hours, telling the history of the Pacific Islands in story, song and hula. It was the best luau I’d experienced. Afterward, I chatted with a young woman named Tahila, daughter of one of the luau founders, who told me that the Island Breeze Luau started as a meetup between family and friends who shared a love of hula and listening to stories from elders. The gatherings eventually grew into a family business that has plans for expansion in the coming year.

The next morning, we woke up with no plans other than to get the lay of the land, buy cheesy hibiscus-print sarongs, eat chocolate covered macadamia nuts and figure out how to navigate food. We had our pick of local fare and mainland staples such as Pizza Hut and IHOP, as well as grocery stores within walking distance. We tried One Aloha Shave Ice Co. and Scandinavian Shave Ice, where a former L.A. family that now lives in Kona clued us in to the local kid beach. Then we decided on a seafood restaurant, The Fish Hopper, and wandered around town, feeling out our surroundings.

Our laid-back itinerary (keeping the first day open for exploration is something I recommend for any family trip) was a great way to introduce Mirae to the Aloha spirit. “I want to have a house in Hawaii, Mom,” she said before she dozed off that night.

For the next four days we explored Kona by land and sea.

Taking a Hike

Patty Schmitz’s fourth-grade class from Oahu’s Iolani School sings Oli Mahalo at Kona Historical Society.

There’s no better way to experience nature on Hawaii than to go for a hike, and guided tours are the way to go. Hawaii Forest and Trail’s Kohala Waterfalls Adventure tour offered pick-up from our hotel. The eight-hour adventure included the commute in an air-conditioned passenger van to and from Kailua-Kona along the coast to the Kohala area with a stop in Hawi, the local town center. While Mirae played in the playground at Kohala Village Inn and Hub, locals clued me in to malasadas (sugary donut-like confections with filling). Actual time on the trail (which included swimming at one of the waterfalls and a lunch of tuna sandwiches, purple sweet potato chips and chocolate chip cookies) was about three hours.

Aside from a 15-minute downpour, the weather was perfect. We enjoyed the lush greenery, unique birdcalls and serenity of rushing waterfalls. We encountered cows, lots of poop, wild horses, roosters and Mimosa pudica, a plant that shrinks when you touch it. Our guide was masterful at mixing humor, anthropological facts and horticulture into the tour, and the view overlooking Pololu Valley at the end of our journey was intoxicating.

Where the Coffee Grows

Greenwell Farms, a fourth-generation Kona coffee farm about 20 minutes from Kailua Kona, offers free tours and coffee tastings daily. On the way, we stopped at Kona Historical Society and encountered 20 fourth-grade boys and girls standing beside a Portuguese stone oven where they had just baked Hawaiian bread, singing a song called “Oli Mahalo.” I asked their teacher, Patty Schmitz, if they would sing it again and was delighted when they agreed – and added two more songs as well. “The children sing a welcome song in the morning to prepare themselves for learning,” explained Schmitz. “They also share an oli, or entrance chant, as well as offer gratitude when they part.”

I wiped the tears that had unexpectedly filled my eyes and we walked down the hill for our coffee tour. Surrounded by avocado trees, scampering green geckos and crowing roosters, we tasted macadamia nut-flavored coffee, learned about each stage of coffee production and, after much searching, found Carl, the resident chameleon. It was an informative 20 minutes, and not at all over this infrequent coffee drinker’s head.

Outsmarting the Sharks

Liliuokalani Park and Gardens in Hilo is a lovely spot for a leisurely walk.

Snorkeling is another must-do for most people visiting Hawaii. The island has many beautiful options on the open ocean, but if you have a small child, consider a keiki (kid) beach protected by a reef for safety. Some beaches have lava pools as well, making for more marine-life exploration. We took the Kona Trolley to Kapalu’u Beach, famous for its sea-turtle sightings. Mirae was convinced there were sharks in the water, so we were lucky that a sea turtle came right up to us where we stood on the rocky shore. He stuck his head out of the water as if to say, “Come on in.” We didn’t.

There are other ways to see sea turtles if your child isn’t up for snorkeling. Our Atlantis submarine tour took us more than 100 feet under water to see humuhumunukunukuapuaa, Hawaii’s state fish; colorful coral reef and sea urchins. When we spied a small shark hugging the last shipwreck we encountered, Mirae’s I-told-you-so moment included an eye roll and a cute smirk.

The Ocean Sports glass bottom boat tour at Anaeho’omalu Bay in Waikaloa Village allows you to look down into the ocean without going under. We saw vivid coral reef and dozens of turtles during the 30-minute experience.

Our last – and perhaps my last ever – water adventure was with Kona Boys’ Beach Rentals, stationed in a shack on Kona Beach Hotel’s private beach. We’d booked a canoe tour, but Mirae and I were the only ones scheduled, so our instructor, Kristen Bennett, suggested we go out on kayaks. I opted to have Mirae ride with Bennett so I could take pictures, but I ended up hoping no one had captured me on camera because I fell out of my kayak just as we approached the open ocean. Not much of a swimmer, I was terrified. Rather than swimming to shore, I opted to hold onto my kayak as Kristen pulled both boats back to shore slow and steady. This was not my idea of connecting with the sea.

On to Hilo

Mirae checks out the parrot bench at Pana’ewa Rainforest Zoo in Hilo.

We also spent two days visiting Hilo – well, one of those was in transit. Rather than make the 2.5 hour drive at a straight shot, we chose a meandering path with plenty of stops. We headed south to Pu’uhonua o Hōnanau, a National Historic Park where you can learn about ancient Hawaiian laws and social practices and how Hawaiian royalty spent their leisure time. The ranger talk by 30-year park service veteran Charles T. “Kale” Hua was revealing and heartwarming. We bought kukui nuts with stems there to play an ancient Hawaiian version of last top spinning. Kōnane is a two-player strategy board game from Hawaii that’s a checkers-like option for older kids.

Next, we traveled back north along the coast and inland to Waimea. Within eyeshot of the wooden playground in Waimea Park is Isaacs Art Center, an art museum and retail gallery that is a treasure trove of Hawaiian art history. Back in Pu’uhonua o Hōnanau I had picked up a painting kit to keep Mirae occupied while I enjoyed the views at our next stop, Waipio Valley, on the island’s northeast coast.

After some ocean gazing and art, we meandered down the east coast to Honokaa, where I bought Hawaiian music and art and we ate malasadas at Tex Drive-In. Farther south, in Papaikou, we visited Hawaii Tropical Botanical Garden and then walked the short Onomea Bay trail to the ocean. These short stops kept Mirae happy on the road.

In Hilo, we checked in to the Grand Naniloa Hotel, and the next morning we were ready for the opening ceremony of the weeklong Merrie Monarch Festival, which culminates with a hula competition that draws the world’s best performers. The opening ceremony features local school-age hula dancers, and the performances were amazing. We then visited the Pana’ewa Rainforest Zoo and Gardens, where the artsy benches are made in the form of animals. I found myself inside a caterpillar’s cocoon taking a quiet rest while Mirae hopped atop the alligator bench and made the white tiger bench roar. After our very full day, we took a more direct route back to the other side of the island to catch our red-eye flight home.

Our girls’ trip was a very full seven days without a single pedicure. We met some wonderful people, soaked up the sun and beautiful scenery and had several adventures we’ll be happy to remember. But perhaps the most important thing we brought back was a little of the Aloha spirit.

Getaway Details

Stay

Courtyard King Kamehameha’s Kona Beach Hotel in Kailua-Kona www.konabeachhotel.com

Grand Naniloa Hotel in Hilo www.grandnaniloahilo.com

Kohala Village Inn and Hub www.kohalavillagehub.com

Getting Around

Kona Trolley, runs every 2 hours along Ali’I drive from 9 a.m.-9:15 p.m. $2. www.konaweb.com/forums/shuttle.shtml

SpeediShuttle, Airport Shuttle www.speedishuttle.com

World’s Coolest Taxi Cab worldscoolestcab.com

Tours and Encounters

Greenwell Farms www.greenwellfarms.com

Hawaii Forest and Trail, Tours offered year-round. Most tour pickups in and around Kona, Waikoloa, and Hilo. Call (808) 331-8505 for details or visit www.hawaii-forest.com.

Kona Historical Society www.konahistorical.org

Food

One Aloha Shave Ice Co. in Kona www.onealohashaveice.com

Scandinavian Shave Ice in Kona www.scandinavianshaveice.com

Tex Drive-In in Honokaa www.texdriveinhawaii.com

The Fish Hopper in Kona www.fishhopper.com/kona

Atlantis Submarine’s Kona Undersea Adventure www.atlantisadventures.com/kona

Hawaii Tropical Botanical Garden www.hawaiigarden.com

Isaacs Art Center isaacsartcenter.hpa.edu

Merrie Monarch Festival www.merriemonarch.com

Ocean Sports Glass Bottom Boat Rides hawaiioceansports.com/boat-cruises/glass-bottom-boat-cruises

Pana’ewa Rainforest Zoo and Gardens www.hilozoo.com

Puʻuhonua o Hōnaunau National Historical Park www.nps.gov/puho

Carolyn Richardson is a mom of three and Assistant Editor of L.A. Parent.

Cooking Class with My Daughters: Sharing the Flavors of My Childhood

Published August 7, 2017

By Elena Epstein

Chef Michael demonstrates cream puff technique for Emily and Erin Epstein. PHOTOS COURTESY ELENA EPSTEIN

Even though I have been living in Los Angeles since I was 10 and married the boy from the Valley who grew up with peanut butter and jelly and tuna salad, my favorite food is and will always be Persian. The aroma of cardamom, coriander and cumin is my childhood, my family home, my parents and my extended family.

I have shared my love of basmati rice with saffron and barberries and flavorful stews with parsley and fenugreek with my husband’s family, friends and, of course, my two daughters. I love that they love Persian food as much as I do.

When my oldest daughter, Erin, suggested the three of us take a cooking class together, and then found “Exotic Persian Flavors” at Sur La Table at The Village at Topanga in Woodland Hills, we had to sign up.

The three of us – especially in the summer months when school is out – love to gather in the kitchen. We talk, we chop and we laugh. Sur La Table was our first cooking class together and now we’re hooked. We had fun, learned some practical kitchen skills and got to celebrate “our food” in a new way. We were so inspired by our class that we cooked two of the recipes again the next day at home.

Sur La Table at The Village at Topanga offers a variety of cooking classes including Perfect Pies, Date Night: Summer in Venice, Delicious & Vegan, and Summer Pizzas on the Grill. They also offer a summer cooking camp for kids and seasonal classes for specific holidays throughout the year.

The small-group classes are held in the test kitchen at the back of the store. Our class was divided into three groups of four cooks. Equipment and ingredients were set up at our workstations and each group worked together. Our five creations included some of my favorite Persian dishes:

Kuku Sabzi (Fresh Herb and Leek Frittata)
Salad Shirazi (Chopped Cucumber and Tomato Salad with Fresh Mint)
Jeweled Basmati Pilaf
Grilled Saffron Chicken Kabobs
Noon Khamei (Cream Puffs with Rose and Pistachio Cream)

Because we were making an entire meal, some steps were done ahead of time by Chef Michael, our instructor. The grilled saffron chicken kabobs were already marinating when we began the class, and while Chef Michael walked us through the steps of making the Jeweled Basmati Pilaf Rice, we did not each make our own pot of rice.

These classes are ideal to try with friends ,since you share workstations and food prep. Chef Michael was friendly and fun, and his love of cooking and experimenting with different flavors and herbs was evident. Because the class is small, we could ask lots of questions and chat with Chef Michael. And at the end of the class, we enjoyed the delicious feast we cooked together.

For more information on cooking classes and summer kids & teens cooking camp, visit: www.surlatable.com

: Ingredients for Salad Shirazi

: Prepping Salad Shirazi

: Salad Shirazi

: Ingredients for Jeweled Basmati Pilaf

: Jeweled Basmati Pilaf

: Ingredients for Kuku Sabzi

: Creating Kuku Sabzi

: Kuku Sabzi

: Noon Khamei

: Proud cooks

Kuku Sabzi (Fresh Herb and Leek Frittata)

Recipe Courtesy of Sur La Table

Yield: One 12-inch frittata

This herbaceous frittata is ideal to serve as an appetizer or a vegetarian main course with a green salad. The thin slices are also great as a filling for sandwiches. Feel free to adjust the combination of herbs to your personal taste.

2 tablespoons olive oil, divided

2 medium leeks, white and light-green parts only, halved lengthwise and thinly sliced into half-moons

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

6 large eggs

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon toasted and ground cumin seeds

1 teaspoon ground turmeric

1 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley leaves

1 cup chopped fresh cilantro

1 cup chopped fresh dill

1 cup thinly sliced green onions

½ cup chopped fresh mint leaves

2 tablespoons finely chopped toasted walnuts (optional)

2 tablespoons dried barberries (optional)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit

Add 1 tablespoon oil to a 12-inch, nonstick, ovenproof skillet set over medium heat. Add the leeks, season with salt and pepper and sauté, stirring often, until tender, 5-8 minutes. Remove the pan from the heat and set aside to cool slightly.

In a large bowl, whisk the eggs, baking powder, cumin and turmeric until well combined. Fold the herbs, walnuts, barberries and cooled leeks into the eggs and season with salt and pepper. Coat the skillet with remaining tablespoon of oil and pour the frittata mixture into the skillet.

Transfer the skillet to the oven and bake the frittata until golden brown around the edges and just set, about 15 minutes. Remove from the oven, cool slightly and slice. Serve warm or at room temperature.

Our Breakfast-to-Bedtime Back to School Guide

Published August 5, 2017

By Carolyn Graham

Remember last year’s back to school photo? The kids wore big, happy grins and fresh haircuts. Inside their shiny new backpacks awaited orderly pencil cases and a homemade-with-love lunch filled with summer veggies and nothing processed.

Cut to the second week: Running to the car five minutes late, the day’s completed homework forgotten on the kitchen table and cranky parents playing Rock-paper-scissors to see who has to leave work early to take kids to ballet and soccer.

Sound familiar? You’re not alone. While we often have high hopes for the start of the school year, many times it doesn’t take long for those grand plans to disintegrate like so many Goldfish crackers at the bottom of a backpack. But this year will be different. Why? Because we offer this: Your breakfast-to-bedtime guide to keeping yourself and the kids on track as they trek back to school.

Up and At ’Em

Ben Franklin knew what he was talking about when he suggested that getting to bed early and up early can make you healthy and wise. The key? Don’t wait until the day before school starts to implement earlier bedtimes and wakeup calls.

“When shifting from a summer to a school schedule, it’s important to anticipate and start to move the bedtime earlier about 15 minutes a day a couple of weeks in advance,” says Sally L. Davidson Ward, M.D., medical director for the Sleep Center at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles.

Consistency is the best practice, but we all know those last-minute projects, forgotten quizzes and late-night school events can be the enemy of the Sandman. What’s a parent to do?

Davidson says a short afternoon nap can help restore a child’s energy but should be limited to no more than 30 minutes so that he’ll still be sleepy at bedtime. What about those super-early start times (zero period, we’re talking to you)? Davidson noted that even California state legislators are on board with trying to shift that first bell a little later: Last spring, the Senate passed SB 328, which requires the state’s middle and high schools to start the school day no earlier than 8:30 a.m. The American Academy of Pediatrics supported the legislation.

Davidson offers one more important tip, although admittedly, this can be a tough one for older kids: Shut down the phones and iPads at least 30 to 60 minutes before hitting the hay. “Screen time is such a big competitor for healthy sleep,” she says. “Reading in bed is a better way to transition from wakefulness to sleep.”

Prep School

Ben Franklin also famously said, “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” To prevent back-to-school shock, start prepping the kids and yourself at least two weeks ahead, says Rosalinda Lugo, Ph.D., Ed.D., administrator for the Parent and Community Services department in the Los Angeles Unified School District. Create a designated space at home where students will keep school supplies, stow their backpacks and get homework done. And because friends and teachers will be asking about summer, here’s a helpful idea: “Right before school starts, talk to your kids about what they did that summer,” Lugo says, adding that even the little stuff can remind them of the good times they had – and prep them for those inevitable “What I Did This Summer” papers.

As back-to-school time approaches, it’s also a good time to start teaching kids some independence, establishing routines in which they learn to do for themselves. Los Angeles mom Esther Diaz has her two kids, ages 10 and 8, pick out their clothes the night before, make their snacks for the next day and get their own breakfast started in the morning. “Part of it is just teaching them self-sufficiency,” she says. But she adds that working ahead and establishing routines has alleviated much of the crazy morning stress in her household.

Another good stress reliever, says Lugo, is projecting a positive attitude as you enter the fresh school year. Kids will pick up on your enthusiasm and, hopefully, take that with them to the classroom. “Parents need to communicate the right thing to kids,” she says. “On the first day of school, drop the kids off with a smile.”

Have Some Class

It’s high time we addressed the beast that lurks deep inside all of us: The drop-off-line parent.

None of us is without sin. We’ve all had days when we didn’t follow the rules and perhaps became “that mom.” Or maybe we directed a few colorful phrases at the parent who leaves the car unattended in the pickup line, leaving everyone else stuck and exasperated.

But even if we can tame that beast, drop-offs and pickups are just a small piece of the transportation equation. Add after-school activities, play dates, sports, tutoring and school functions and you’ve got another full-time chauffeur job. In fact, a poll conducted last summer by locally based children’s ride service HopSkipDrive noted that 35 percent of parents say managing their kids’ transportation needs is more stressful than doing their taxes.

That’s when it might be time to look to other solutions besides coin flips between you and your spouse. HopSkipDrive cofounder and Los Angeles-based mom of two Diana MacFarland says she was at a child’s birthday party when she suggested that moms should put money in a hat and hire out the kid schlepping. The idea struck a chord, and she and two other working moms founded HopSkipDrive.

“[The business idea] came from a very real need we all had,” MacFarland says. Among herself and her two partners, there are eight kids, five schools and 17 different after-school activities. “Families are busier than ever before,” she says. And the majority of children in the U.S. live in households where all parents work. Oftentimes, hiring out some of the transportation can allow kids to participate in activities they otherwise wouldn’t be able to. “I was feeling guilty telling my son, ‘I’m sorry, but you can’t do karate because it’s at 3 in the afternoon,’” she says.

Using the service requires some advance planning (you have to make reservations at least eight hours ahead), so check your calendar for gaps and arrange for recurring rides to regular appointments and activities.

And tackling the drop-off monster? HopSkipDrive also has a feature to organize carpools, which can ease some of the congestion. Most L.A. Unified schools also offer the Safety Valet Program, which trains volunteers to keep the lines running smoothly. So, follow the rules and consider walking a mile in the safety valet’s shoes by volunteering and experiencing it from the front lines.

Off to Work We Go

Those first few days back at school are the honeymoon period, but kids know it doesn’t take long before the dreaded “H” word starts popping up like a manic game of Whac-a-mole.

“Do you have any homework? What’s your homework tonight? Have you finished your homework?”

It’s our job to stay on top of things, and our anxiety about homework often comes from not having a handle on what’s due when – and having to rely on unreliable sources (that’s you, kids) for deadline information. A better plan is to go right to the source.

“Don’t skip Back to School Night,” advises Angelina Arrington, a longtime educator and administrator and owner of Academic Savvy, a Culver City-based educational services business. Pick up the syllabus for each class and keep them handy throughout the year. “That way, you know when big projects are due and you understand the rhythm of the year,” Arrington says.

Put project deadlines and recurring assignments and quizzes in the calendar on your smartphone; better yet, have your kids put the homework on their calendars and send you an invite. “That helps them be responsible,” Arrington adds.

Good calendar maintenance can help with the what’s-due-when problem, but what can we do to keep our kids on task once boredom sets in and they realize that not all homework is going to involve glitter and neon markers?

“First, discuss with your children that some things are just going to be required, and not everything is fun,” Arrington says. “But have an end goal, a celebration. It can be as simple as a high-five or extra time doing something they enjoy.”

It’s normal for children to experience homework malaise, but you can help them over that I-just-don’t-feel-like-doing-homework bump. Arrington calls it, “eating the fog,” and the premise is that if they can commit 10 to 15 minutes to something even though they hate it, they’ll be past it before they know it.

Ah and Om

The school routine can become grueling and tiresome. Yet, before you know it, it seems your kid is standing before you in a graduation cap and gown.

Don’t let the inevitable school-year stressors get in the way of taking time to soak it up and enjoy your child’s school years. Yes, the last-minute Mom-I-have-to-invent-something! project could make the calmest parent throw up her arms in dismay, but how you handle these moments can have a direct impact on how your child learns to deal with her own ups and downs.

“Learning to handle stress is probably one of the most important things we can do,” says Diana Winston, director of mindfulness education at UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center and mom to a 7-year-old daughter.

Winston teaches mindfulness, which can be a useful tool for “emotional regulation,” also known as “keeping your cool under pressure.” As part of a mindfulness routine, she recommends the STOP method of stress management:

Stop.
Take a breath.
Observe what’s happening inside you emotionally.
Proceed.

Mindfulness is about paying attention to what’s happening in the moment and not allowing the past to drag us down or the future to keep us in a constant state of “what if.” While your first impulse in a heightened moment might be to shout or lose your temper, taking a moment to think things through can help you regain your composure and find a solution.

“Through mindfulness, we can pause and take breaths, calm down and act in a better way,” Winston says.

Of course, keeping stress under control can be easier said than done, so Winston says parents should build in their own stress-relievers, such as setting aside time for themselves and dedicating five minutes of the day to daily meditation.

“We all have at least five minutes,” she says. “Just practice being in the moment. Practice breathing. It’s almost like a muscle. As you get better, it becomes something you can incorporate in your life.”

Incorporating all of these little changes in your family’s back-to-school routine can make life easier and less stressful – and might even make the last day of the school year go as smoothly as the first.

Carolyn Graham is the mom of two and former editor of L.A. Parent.

A Divorce Lawyer’s Tips for Parenting Through Kid Conflict

Published August 1, 2017

By Christina Elston

Family mediator Tara Scott uses skills developed at work to preserve family harmony for 3-year-old son Landon, 5-year-old daughter Lily and husband Adam Lipsic. PHOTO COURTESY TARA SCOTT

Tara Scott is a former Brentwood divorce lawyer – with a 3-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter – so she knows a thing or two about parenting through conflict. Now a family mediator in Beverly Hills, Scott has found that things she learns in her mommy-and-me group help in mediation and that her mediation skills apply at home.

Here are some of her tips for wading into a disagreement between your kids:

First, assess the situation. If Scott is cooking dinner and her daughter comes into the kitchen and accuses her son of “being mean,” stepping right into the conflict will only escalate things. “With kids, everything’s just so big and they’re feeling so much,” Scott says. “We have to help them figure out what they’re really trying to say.” In this case, her kids likely want her attention and are frustrated that she is busy. “All they’re trying to do is get me to engage with them,” Scott says. So, a better reaction is to ask, “Why do you feel that way?”

Second, let them know you are listening. “Everyone wants to feel heard. Make their little voices heard,” Scott says. One way of doing this is to repeat back what your child is telling you, or to describe what you think they are feeling: “I hear that you’re upset right now.”

Finally, offer options. Once you’ve teased out what is going on, help your kids make a plan. “When people know there’s a plan, that calms things down,” Scott says, and when people are able to pick their plan, they feel empowered. Tell your kids it’s time to do something different. “Let them pick something that as a parent we’re OK with,” says Scott. “Do we want to play a game right now or would we rather go outside and play on the swings?”

“Don’t always take everything at face value,” Scott reminds parents. Try to stay neutral and react to what is really going on, and you’ll de-escalate the situation and restore harmony.

Lucky Diaz Shares L.A. Love on New Family Music CD

Published August 1, 2017

By Michael Berick

Lucky Diaz celebrates Southern California on his new CD. PHOTO BY JAIMIE TRUEBLOOD

“Made In L.A.” is the perfect title for the latest CD from Lucky Diaz and the Family Jam Band. Diaz, his wife Alisha “Lishy Lou” Gaddis and their group recorded the album here and invited local children’s musicians Mista Cookie Jar, Todd McHatton, Genevieve Goings and Andrew & Polly to join them on this 12-track set.

Diaz describes this album as a love letter to Los Angeles and says he wanted the music to sound like Southern California, with its mash-up of cultures, because that is what makes the city incredible to him.

Because Diaz wanted the disc to celebrate everyday life in L.A., Hollywood and Malibu take a backseat to Echo Park and the Silver Lake stairs. And what is an L.A. album without a song about traffic? Diaz admits he wrote the tune “Traffic” while stuck on the 110 Freeway – before ever seeing “La La Land.” Angelenos who’ve lived here in recent years will especially enjoy the humor of “When It Rained,” where a grandfather (marvelously voiced by comedian/musician Mike Phirman) describes “the weirdest thing he’s ever seen” – rain in L.A.

Other songs – “Paletero Man” and “Pato Loco,” for instance – tap into the Chicano culture Diaz grew up with. It would be tough to capture every aspect of Southern California on one album, but Diaz and company succeed in capturing its spirit. The bilingual disc showcases a wonderful array of styles, from sunny California pop to funky soul, hip-hop, rap and Latino rock.

Easy and Fun Recipes for Busy College Students

Published August 1, 2017

By Christina Jennings

Healthy, low-cost food options that are dorm-room friendly have been traditionally hard to come by, but “The Quick and Easy Vegetarian College Cookbook” from Adams Media offers more than 300 meals that fit the bill. Staying healthy amid the hustle and bustle of college life can be tough, but this recipe book offers delicious meals and snacks for even the busiest students.

The book suggest healthy late-night study snacks and all-important breakfast ideas for on-the-go students, and features several tips and tricks to help new chefs when access to cooking utensils and kitchens items is limited. Simple-but-wholesome recipes such as Linguini with Fire-Roasted Tomatoes, Basil, and Mozzarella; and a Bean and Couscous Salad show the versatility of vegetarian cooking while keeping both costs and time constraints in mind. Vegetarians and omnivores alike are sure to have fun exploring this delicious new cookbook.

Click here for more information or to purchase the book.

Vegan Chili

Serves 8

¼ cup olive oil
2 cups chopped onions
1 cup chopped carrots
2 cups chopped assorted bell peppers
2 teaspoons salt
1 tablespoon chopped garlic
2 small jalapeño peppers, seeded and chopped
1 tablespoon ground ancho chili pepper or ½ teaspoon crushed red pepper
1 chipotle in adobo, chopped
1 tablespoon toasted cumin seeds, ground or 4 teaspoons ground cumin toasted briefly in a dry pan
1 (28 oz) can plum tomatoes, roughly chopped, juice included
1 (16 oz) can red kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1 (16 oz) can cannellini beans, rinsed and drained
1 (16 oz) can black beans, rinsed and drained
1 cup tomato juice
Finely chopped red onions for garnish
Chopped fresh cilantro for garnish

Heat the oil in a heavy-bottomed Dutch oven or soup pot. Add the onions, carrots, bell peppers, and salt; cook 15 minutes over medium heat until the onions are soft. Add the garlic, jalapeños, ancho, chipotle, and cumin; cook 5 minutes more.

Stir in tomatoes, beans, and tomato juice. Simmer about 45 minutes.

Serve garnished with red onions and cilantro.

Robotics Startup Creates Companion Helpers for Kids

Published July 31, 2017

By Christina Elston

Maja Mataric, shown here with a robot created as part of her work at USC, has co-founded a startup company that is working to create assistive companion robots. PHOTO COURTESY MAJA MATARIC’

In a bright co-working space in a building in Old Pasadena are the offices of a startup robotics and AI company. The scientists, engineers, artists and designers there have added a unique feature to their product-development lab: a playroom. But they aren’t just playing. They are working to change the lives of children – including those with developmental disabilities –and they’re looking for families to help them.

The team developing this robot combines 14 years of research in socially assistive robotics from USC with 15 years of experience with consumer robotics from iRobot, and decades of animation and storytelling. And their newest venture is a lifelike, interactive robot that will serve as a motivator, coach and companion to help and empower children and their families.

The startup was co-founded by Maja Mataric’, Ph.D., who is also a professor of computer science, pediatrics and neuroscience at USC. Mataric’ coined the term “socially assistive robotics,” and has been working for decades to develop intelligent machines that use social interactions to help people with a variety of challenges – from dementia to brain injuries, stroke and autism.

Mataric’ and her team are keeping the name of their new company under wraps to avoid excess hype, but they recently invited me to the playroom to meet the new robot they are creating. It’s a charming little creature.

Imagine a helper that never gets tired or frustrated, that will sing the same song or play the same instructive game again and again – as often as the child wants. It will patiently coax, suggest, encourage, remind and respond, and can even send data to parents and therapists about the child’s progress. Best of all, to the child, this helper is a companion and friend.

While you’re thinking about it, imagine how your child would like this companion to look, speak, feel and play. Then think about joining the community of families Mataric’s company is building to help this helpful robot take shape. These families are invited to the lab so children can play with new prototypes of the robot and parents can test the parent interface, and will receive regular updates about the robot’s development and even – eventually – a chance to test the robot at home.

The end goal is to create, within a couple of years, an affordable and widely available assistive companion that a family could order online.

If you have a child between the ages of 3 and 12 and would like to help shape this brave new technology, click here to be added to the company’s mailing list.

Doc Talk: Screening for Childhood Obesity

Published July 31, 2017

By Christina Elston

Experts recommend that all children over age 6 be screened for obesity. PHOTO BY CLARE BLOOMFIELD/FREEDIGITALIMAGES.COM

Childhood obesity rates, which climbed for decades, seem finally to have leveled off among most groups of kids. Still, about a third of kids are overweight and nearly 20 percent are obese, leading a government panel of experts to recommend in June that all children ages 6 and up be screened for obesity by their pediatrician.

Steven Jensen, M.D., medical director of general pediatrics at Miller Children’s & Women’s Hospital Long Beach, agrees. He shares information about screening, the consequences of obesity and how to prevent them.

Do you agree with the new recommendation that all children ages 6 and up be screened for obesity?

I do agree with that, and there are a lot of reasons. Obesity is a nationwide problem. About a third of the kids are overweight during childhood, pre-adolescence, adolescence. And nearly 20 percent are downright obese.

Children who are pre-adolescent who are obese have almost a two-out-of-three chance of becoming obese adults. The adolescents have a four-out-of-five chance of growing up to be obese adults, and with that there are a lot of bad consequences. The bullying at school is one issue, but there are also medical issues such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol, asthma, sleep apnea issues, heart issues and orthopedic strain from all the weight.

Tell me what an obesity screening involves in a pediatrician’s office. Is it just measuring weight and height?

It’s more than just measuring weight and height. The first screen that is done in the office is called a Body Mass Index. It’s basically the weight in kilograms divided by the height in meters squared. You’re considered obese if you’re in the 95^th percentile of that number for your age. You’re overweight if you’re 85^th and above. It’s non-invasive and it’s easy to do. Every office can do that.

Looking at the child’s lifestyle and risk factors is also part of the screening process. Is he sedentary? Does he have a TV in the bedroom? Is he spending a lot of time on the iPad? What’s his diet like? Does he drink a lot of sugared beverages or eat out in fast-food restaurants a lot? Is the family looking at the labels on food packaging? Are the parents having issues with being overweight?

If a child does have a weight issue, what kinds of interventions can parents expect the pediatrician to recommend?

Parents should limit temptations by doing things such as keeping sodas out of the refrigerator, and limit the amount of screen time so that kids become more active. And try to encourage them to get into some sort of activity like an after-school program, just to get them out more.

When people come to Miller Children’s & Women’s Hospital and they’re identified as having a weight issue, there are behavioral, structured programs that are offered on an outpatient basis. And primary care physicians in the community also have programs that are available.

Steven Jensen, M.D., is medical director of general pediatrics at Miller Children’s & Women’s Hospital Long Beach. PHOTO COURTESY MILLER CHILDREN’S & WOMEN’S HOSPITAL

These programs have shown a lot of success with group counseling involving dietary changes and exercise programs for the whole family. The parents are the ones who are choosing the food, so they have to be involved. These programs should have a dietician, psychologist, physical therapist and social worker. It should be really a comprehensive program.

For kids whose weight issues are spotted early and treated, what types of health benefits are possible?

Mostly prevention – prevention of high blood pressure, diabetes, prevention of the orthopedic problems, the sleep apnea problems and also just not being teased at school.

People who are obese, unfortunately, are picked on and teased and become withdrawn and depressed. And those aren’t just childhood problems. Those extend into adulthood. Trying to change that with healthy living and more exercise makes you feel good about yourself, and people around you see that. Then you become more interactive with other kids and have a better outlook, and your self-esteem gets better, your schoolwork gets better, you’re more social.

What is the most important piece of advice you have for parents of a child who is struggling with a weight problem?

Be patient, because making lifestyle changes is not easy. Don’t be punishing about it. Accept small successes. Be positive. Reward children for their success.

Obesity didn’t happen over night and it’s not just going to go away over night.

Building a Social Network For the Non-sporty Kid

Published July 28, 2017

By Diana Cortese

There is no question that team sports are amazing for the mind and body. So many important social skills are taught through working as a team and exercising the body.

Additionally, friendships typically grow stronger by participating in sports outside of school. Because of this, young kids (especially boys) are traditionally signed up for the usual round of team sports – soccer, basketball and baseball. These are great, but let’s face it, these activities are just not for everyone. Some kids are not coordinated, interested or secure enough to feel comfortable and successful playing team sports.

So what can these non-sporty kids do that will help them socially? Here are four very common and easy-to-find activities that will enable kids who have social difficulties to get involved in activities outside of school and family and into new-but-safe territory with their peers.

Tae Kwon Do/Karate

Focus, self-discipline, attention to detail, confidence, humility and kindness are emphasized in these sports. Martial arts are great for helping kids follow directions and develop a great sense of self-control. Additionally, the color belt system is clear, predictable and consistently rewarding. In these martial arts classes, students are working independently, yet as part of the class. If one child is a bit behind, it will not throw the others off (and cause frustration with the other students). Tae Kwon Do centers typically work to develop a community and family atmosphere with their students, so the students do get to know each other well.

Computer Classes

Students in these classes learn valuable tech skills and meet other kids with the same passion for computer development and games. Bonding over digital media can be a great catalyst for a friendship. One pitfall is if the computer is the only thing your child and his friend have in common. Even though many video games can be social and develop critical-thinking skills, because the child is still focused on the screen and not the person, things such as eye contact, body language and voice volume (how many kids scream at the games they play?!) are not developed. Take the kids out for ice cream afterward so they can talk face-to-face about what they did in class.

Swim Lessons

Swimming is often one of those non-negotiable activities that parents enroll their kids in – and with good reason. Although swim lessons are not social, not knowing how to swim will surely eliminate many summertime social opportunities. And kids who go on to join a swim team have additional opportunities to connect.

Scouts/Adventure Guides

These organizations can be perfect for kids who need a little extra attention because they typically start out with mandatory parent involvement. Parents can get involved and help a child who needs a little prompting or nudging without seeming like they are hovering. There is no competition with these groups, and the Scout ranking system and merit badge system are clear and self-paced. Of course, getting the child outside to exercise and enjoy nature is also a huge win!

Diana Cortese, who is pictured at left with her son Astor, is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst and founder of South Bay Kids Connection, an organization that helps children increase their social skills through non-competitive, cooperative play.

Dance/Movement Therapy Helps Kids With Autism Connect

Published July 28, 2017

By Christina Elston

Dance/Movement Therapy isn’t really about teaching dance. It is about helping people connect. PHOTO COURTESY AMERICAN DANCE THERAPY ASSOCIATION.

The 5-year-old girl, diagnosed with autism, wasn’t used to connecting with people. She didn’t speak, made little eye contact and showed little physical awareness of others. She would sit near, even very close, to people without acknowledging them.

Then Lori Baudino took her on a journey. Baudino, a Westchester-based clinical psychologist and dance/movement therapist, says the girl was very physical – but inappropriately so. “She would often hit her body into the walls or bang her hands on the floor,” Baudino explains.

She mirrored the girl’s movements and initiated a “castle building” activity where they worked parallel to each other, each building the walls of their own castles, their “personal space.” They worked on their castles over several sessions, and the final portion was a drawbridge, which let the girl come into Baudino’s space in an appropriate way. The girl began to show awareness of Baudino and began making eye contact, and even touching hands.

The exercise helped make the girl more aware of her own body so that she could be more aware of others. “There was this real journey we got to take, where it was appropriate that she was coming into my space,” Baudino says. “We got to a place where she was initiating it.”

The next step in that journey was for the girl’s parents to join in the castle building and create their own “drawbridge” to their daughter. This is dance/movement therapy (DMT) in action.

The goal of DMT isn’t to teach kids to dance in the traditional sense, but to foster connection. “Movement is a way that children are communicating all the time,” Baudino says, adding that dance/movement therapy gives children a way to feel seen and opens up avenues for others to join them. It also helps promote feelings of calm and security, boosts social skills and problem solving and supports emotional expression.

Not all sessions involve castle building. “Each session looks very unique. It’s really about joining the child where they are,” Baudino says.

Sessions generally start with a warm-up focused on awareness of each part of the body and how it is moving. Next, the movements (which are never labeled as “right” or “wrong”) might start to increase in speed or expansiveness. “Whatever the movement looks like, it might start to develop into a story,” says Baudino. As the story takes shape, there is a problem-solving component, then resolution and cool down. Some sessions might involve mirroring or follow-the-leader with parent and child.

Lori Baudino is a clinical psychologist and dance/movement therapist who practices in Westchester.

Baudino says some benefits, such as relaxation and increased body awareness, can show up right away, and that many children begin to engage from the very first session. “There’s something so wonderful about the body, where you get this connection,” she says. Larger goals, meanwhile, might take more time.

Having helped clients (adults and children alike) with low levels of functioning and low mobility, Baudino, who is also the author of “Super Flyers: a parent guidebook for airplane travel with children,” believes DMT could help anyone. Her clients on the autism spectrum typically range in age from 2 to 8.

Dance/movement therapists are registered and board-certified, and many are also psychologists or Marriage, Family and Child Counselors. Many DMT programs, including Baudino’s, are funded by grants from the nonprofit Andrea Rizzo Foundation (www.dreasdream.org). Another great resource for connecting with dance movement therapists is the American Dance Therapy Association (www.adta.org).

When seeking a therapist, Baudino says it is important to find someone whose approach works for your family and your child. “I really try to tailor my therapeutic approach to that individual family,” she says. “I’m a parent, too. I want them to have all the tools.”

A Back-to-School Checklist For Healthier Kids

Published July 28, 2017

By Mary Hull

Checkups and immunizations are an important part of getting ready for the new school year. PHOTOS COURTESY MINUTECLINIC

It seems like only yesterday that our children were wrapping up their last day of school and heading off to the pool, summer camp and family vacation. But the new academic year will soon be here, and it’s time to think about what’s needed to prepare them for a safe and healthy start in the classroom.

From obtaining required vaccinations to teaching kids basic hygiene habits and helping teenagers cope with acne, taking care of our children’s health is always challenging.

Here are some tips to make your job a little easier.

Sports and School Physicals

Increasingly, students are required to obtain exams and physicals at the beginning of the school year.

For middle and high schoolers, a sports physical is needed before student athletes can practice and play interscholastic sports. These exams assess your child’s physical condition and ability to participate in sports, and determine any issues that would put them at risk.

For college freshmen, many schools also require a physical prior to enrollment, so be sure to check admissions requirements in advance.

Immunizations

It is important to make sure your student is up to date on required vaccinations. Immunization schedules are standardized based on the CDC’s recommendations, however, if you recently moved to California, there might be additional local requirements to consider for your child. You can review these on the California Department of Public Health website.

Even preschoolers can learn some basics about health and hygiene.

Children entering kindergarten or elementary school must be current on doses of their early-age vaccinations, which include DTaP (diphtheria, tetanus and pertussis or whooping cough), Hepatitis B, IPV (Polio), MMR (measles, mumps and rubella) and Varicella (chicken pox). Students who have never attended a California school must also present written evidence of a Mantoux (PPD) Tuberculin skin test (preschools will have their own requirements pertaining to the test).

For seventh graders, a Tdap vaccination (also for diphtheria, tetanus and pertussis) is required prior to beginning the school year. This is a booster immunization indicated for adolescents and adults that follows the earlier DTap series received as a child.

The meningitis vaccine (protecting against inflammation of the protective membranes covering the brain and spinal cord) is recommended for ages 11-18 (first dose around age 11-12 and a booster at 16-18 before the period of increased risk). Adolescents who receive their first dose at or after age 16 do not need a booster dose. It is important to note that first-year college students living in residence halls are recommended to be vaccinated with meningitis.

TB testing for college entrance in California is based on identifying the student’s risk factors including travel or residence in a foreign country, close contact to someone with infectious TB and immunosuppression.

Remember to schedule appointments for exams and immunizations in advance because primary care providers often take summer vacation.

A retail clinic such as MinuteClinic, located in CVS Pharmacy stores throughout the state, is also a good option for school physicals and vaccinations. They are open seven days a week and accept most insurance. Always remember to bring your child’s vaccination record.

Hygiene Tips

Teens need immunization boosters, and possibly tips for managing acne.

Shortly after school begins, we see a steady stream of students with contagious conditions such as strep throat and conjunctivitis (pink eye). That’s why I always encourage parents to stress basic hygiene and germ prevention, especially with young ones heading off to preschool and kindergarten for the first time.

Teach your children to wash their hands with soap and water for 20 seconds after using the restroom and before they eat.

Show them how to sneeze into their sleeve – not their hands – or to cover their nose and mouth with a tissue and throw it away afterward. Make sure they know not to share drinks in the cafeteria or water bottles on the playground – also a good reminder for older students, particularly if they play on sports teams.

Lastly, caution them about sharing hats and towels, both common ways for lice to spread. Locker room towels can also be a breeding ground for a variety of bacteria including MRSA (a.k.a. the super bug), which is responsible for several difficult-to-treat infections that affect various parts of the body.

Acne

Acne is an emotional issue for many adolescents and may affect their self-esteem as they begin classes in the fall. Changes in hormones, stress and certain medications and cosmetics can be triggers.

A combination of over-the-counter products and prescription medications may be needed to achieve clearer skin. In addition, there are some steps they can take to help remove excess oil and old skin cells, and promote new skin growth.

First, consider a shorter hair style. Long hair can cause skin to be oiler; especially if it hangs in your child’s face, goes unwashed or if they sweat a lot. Use gentle shampoos and conditioners and avoid gels and oils that can get in their face and clog their pores.

Next, be mindful of areas where tight-fitting items rub the skin and cause irritation. This includes helmets for sports, headbands, bra straps and high-collared shirts and sweaters.

Daily face washing is important, but keep it gentle. Heavy scrubbing, harsh soaps and hot water can cause acne to get worse. Avoid make-up whenever possible and always make sure it’s removed at the end of the day.

Here’s one final tip for students of any age: Approach the journey back to school, starting on Day One and every day after, with encouragement, motivation and plenty of hugs. A positive attitude always contributes to good health!

Mary Hull is a mother of three living in San Dimas and a Family Nurse Practitioner at Minute Clinic locations in Burbank and Pomona. MinuteClinic offers physicals at locations inside select CVS pharmacy stores in Los Angeles, Orange, Riverside and Ventura counties.

Light, Healthy, Family-Friendly Meals Made Easy

Published July 27, 2017

By Christina Jennings

It can be tough to find healthy, kid-friendly recipes everyone in the family will actually like. Food writer Victoria Dwek knows firsthand how challenging this can be. In Dwek’s new book, “Secrets of Skinny Cooking,” co-created with nutritionist and dietitian Shani Taub, you’ll find more than 135 delicious recipes with tips and suggestions for cooking with even the pickiest of eaters in mind.

The book is a visual delight. With each recipe accompanied by a stunning photograph, just flipping through the pages is sure to get your mouth watering. To top it off, all of the recipes are low-calorie, adaptable to dietary restrictions, and are actually good for you. Some favorites include Pulled Chicken Tacos served assemble-yourself style, and Chocolate Brownies sweetened with cocoa and chocolate pieces. “Secrets of Skinny Cooking” is an innovate and creative approach to healthy eating that makes cooking for the entire family fun and easy.

Click here for more information or to purchase the book.

Protein Pancakes (contains dairy, sugar-free)

I originally created this recipe to sneak protein into my picky kids, and they had no idea I secretly made their beloved pancakes healthy. Then I realized … with no sugar or fat and lots of added protein, these were a great guilt-free pancake option for grownups too … and I sat down and enjoyed the pancakes with them. Light vanilla yogurt will sweeten the pancakes without adding sugar (you can use plain yogurt if you prefer a pancake that’s not sweet), and you can also try using white whole-wheat flour if you like (add an additional tablespoon or so of milk).

Yields 12 pancakes

1 cup flour

½ teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon baking powder

4 egg whites

1 ½ cups light vanilla or plain Greek yogurt

½ cup low-fat milk

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

In a medium bowl, combine flour, baking soda, and baking powder. Stir in egg whites, yogurt, milk, and vanilla.

Coat a skillet or pancake pan with nonstick cooking spray; heat over medium heat. Using a ¼-cup measuring cup, scoop up batter and add to pan. Cook until pancake bubbles and edges are set. Flip; cook on second side until golden.

To serve [for the family]: Though my kids always insist on enjoying these pancakes with a syrup topping, I’m satisfied that they’re happy with this healthier version. I’ll even serve these as a kid-friendly breakfast-style dinner paired with a fruit shake (also secretly loaded with protein).

To serve [Shani Says]: For a complete breakfast, enjoy 2 pancakes topped with a little more Greek yogurt or cottage cheese and fresh fruit.

Top Tip: Make Ahead! These freeze well! Make a double batch and keep some in a zip-lock bag in the freezer. Microwave pancakes for a quick-prep morning meal.

Biz Ellis and Theresa Thorn: Celebrating the Everyday Wins

Published July 25, 2017

By Elena Epstein

Moms Biz Ellis, center left, and Theresa Thorn, center right, authors of “You’re Doing a Great Job: 100 Ways You’re Winning at Parenting,” encourage parents to celebrate everyday accomplishments. PHOTO BY IBARIONEX PERELLO

Biz Ellis and Theresa Thorn are good friends, co-hosts of the hilarious podcast “One Bad Mother” and authors of the newly published book, “You’re Doing a Great Job: 100 Ways You’re Winning at Parenting,” designed to cheer on parents from pregnancy through the toddler years. Instead of focusing on Pinterest-inspired birthday party décor and Instagram-worthy meals, Ellis and Thorn encourage parents to celebrate their hundreds of daily, at times mundane, accomplishments. The book is filled with positive and funny affirmations:

“You went out for milk and you came back afterwards. You could have used the opportunity to run away and start a new life! But you didn’t. You came back. Good job!”
“You didn’t accuse your partner of having it easy even though, from your perspective, they do! Good job.”

Before moving to L.A., Ellis was a stand-up comic, member of the nationally acclaimed sketch group MEAT and a corporate event planner in New York. Thorn, originally from Marin County, is the director of operations for Maximum Fun, Inc., the company that produces the NPR show “Bullseye” with her husband, Jesse. I recently chatted with Ellis and Thorn about keeping your sanity and sense of humor while podcasting, writing and raising kids.

Why start a podcast together?

Ellis: The two of us would walk-and-talk about how we were experiencing motherhood. I had an identity before becoming a mom and now I was feeling really uncool and wrestling with working or not working.

Thorn: Everything changes after you have a kid. Before I had my own kids, I was judgmental of other moms, but then I realized, Wow, I was a real jerk. One of my kids got in trouble recently at school and I was so worried about what other parents might be thinking about me. Judging leads to more judging, self-judging and fear of judgment. These are the issues we want to explore on the podcast.

Ellis: Why are there “mommy wars”? Working moms, stay-at-home moms, breast-feeding, not breast-feeding – we want to call bullsh*t on all that.

Why should moms celebrate the small wins?

Thorn: Because most of us spend our days wondering if we’re doing it right. We work so hard, but there is still a voice telling us, “You’re not doing a good job.” That’s such a waste of energy. We encourage moms to write down everything they did in a day instead of what didn’t get done. We all need to celebrate our small, everyday achievements – celebrate the greatest thing you achieved today.

Ellis: The message we get as moms is that we have to fix something or we have to make everything perfect. There has to be room for trial-and-error and forgiveness. We’re tired of constantly being told how to do something. When you screw up, you have got to move on and tell yourself, “I’m getting really good at this.”

How do you move away from the idea of perfection?

Thorn: You have to free yourself of shame and guilt and all that wasted energy of whether you’re doing it right and just enjoy being a parent. You are doing a good job!

Ellis: By knowing that you are not alone. Every mom at some point has fed a baby while sitting on the toilet.

Find the podcast at www.maximumfun.org.

Super Summer Camp Memories

Published July 25, 2017

By Christina Elston

Burbank YMCA’s Learn Grow Thrive Summer Learning Loss Prevention Program is more than just a way to catch up academically. Campers are excited to be there. PHOTO COURTESY BURBANK YMCA

There are so many good things to say about summer camp. While at this point, we hope your kids are out there making great summer memories, we thought we’d check in with a few local camps about their favorite memories.

Sometimes camp directors and counselors get to witness campers overcome shyness and achieve new things. And sometimes campers – and camp directors and counselors – make special connections.

Coming Out of Their Shells

“I think one of the most wonderful things I see during summer camp is how much certain campers seem to ‘grow’ over the summer,” says Morgan Pladys, coordinator of Ecole du Soleil summer camp in Los Feliz. The camp is on the campus of Lycee International de Los Angeles school, and about half of the campers are visiting the school for the first time. “It takes a few days for them to open up to others and feel comfortable, but once they do, it’s like seeing a whole new child,” says Pladys. “They begin to make friends and enjoy camp so much more.”

Campers also blossom when they connect with others who share the same interests. “We have had so many campers join us fitting the mold of the computer whiz kid – shy, uncertain in social situations and only comfortable in certain specific settings,” says Evan Boorman, CEO of CodeREV Kids, which offers coding camps at four L.A.-area locations. When these kids meet others who share their interest in technology, however, connections quickly form. “It is truly amazing to hear these kids share aspects of their worlds with one another, building a friendship before your eyes as if they have been friends for years because they share a language, an understanding that they know is different from most kids and all adults,” Boorman says.

Campers at CodeREV Kids often bond because they have similar interests, and share a common language and understanding. PHOTO COURTESY CODEREV

Camps focused on the performing arts offer a completely different way to conquer shyness. Katy Chase, owner of Studio LOL in Studio City, recalls a camper who was afraid her improv performance wouldn’t be funny, or that she wouldn’t know what to say on stage. Chase and her husband, who run the kids’ comedy studio, reassured the girl that it would be impossible to mess up. “When it came time for the show, she was doing an improv game where she ended up having to make up an opera-style song based on the word fish and it was hilarious!” Chase says. “She totally brought the house down and was the highlight of the show.” She had also mastered the art of walking through her fear.

Sometimes kids need a bit more help. Santa Monica Playhouse has been offering summer theater workshops for kids for years, and Co-artistic Director Evelyn Rudie recalls an 8-year-old whose mom signed him up for the program many years ago. On the first day, the boy wouldn’t even come into the theater. One of the senior teachers came out to talk to him, and then several students came out and held out their hands to coax him in. “By the second day, he was having the time of his life,” Rudie says. “He is now one of our associate directors, coordinating school field trips that share the magic of live theater with students across Southern California (and sometimes across the country and internationally as well). I’m awed by the effect that theater had on his life. But also I always think back to those other students – the ones who made the effort on that first day to hold out their hands to a stranger and make a new friend.”

Campers’ Achievements

Kids in the El Camino College summer program have plenty of adventures together, but also channel their creativity into art and other interests. PHOTO COURTESY EL CAMINO COLLEGE

Some camps are designed to help kids accomplish certain goals. One of those is the Burbank YMCA’s Learn Grow Thrive Summer Learning Loss Prevention Program. Romie Ruiz, director of mission advancement at the Burbank Y, shared some feedback from parents of program participants. Some said that their kids had managed to catch up in reading or other academic areas. Some found a new calling.

“Daniel did not want to go [to the program] because he thought it was going to be like summer school and he didn’t want to do homework,” said one parent. “But after the first day, he was so excited to go back. Every week, there was a different theme and he loved the Olympics theme. He tried out for one week of track and field, and he wants to be an Olympian now.”

Another educationally focused camp takes place at El Camino College, and Director of Community Education Betty Sedor likes to hang out at pick-up time at the end of each day to chat with kid and parents. One day, she asked a camper named Ashley what she had worked on in the cartooning and drawing class, and Ashley showed her. “It was a beautiful piece representing her feelings about stopping bullying,” says Sedor. “I told her I thought that her piece was so smart and full of creative imagination that it should be made into a poster and posted at schools.” Sedor borrowed the artwork, had the poster created and had it posted throughout the Kid’s College classrooms and lounge. “I still have it posted just outside my office,” she says.

Sometimes, campers achievements get an even wider audience. Chef Eric Jacques Crowley, founder of Chef Eric’s Culinary Classroom in West L.A., says one of his fondest camper memories is of Dara Yu. “Also known as ‘Dara the Bow Girl,’ she is a student of mine who went on to compete on ‘Master Chef Junior’ and won second place!” he says. “She is still cooking, baking and making her culinary mark on society. She has many followers on social media and is an up-and-coming chef who is going places.”

Connections With Campers

Nathan, at right, a student at L.A. Art Center, developed his dragon-drawing skills and then used them to help fellow campers. PHOTO COURTESY L.A. ART CENTER

But campers don’t just learn from their teachers. Sometimes, they share their skills with each other. L.A. Art Center in Koreatown offers summer camp and a variety of other programs for toddlers to adults. Academic Director David Gann says one student named Nathan has been coming to the center for art lessons since he began kindergarten, and loves to draw dragons. “Now, as a fourth grader, he has enough confidence about drawing dragons that he was able to help Daniel, a second grader and McCoy, a kindergartner, improve their ability to draw dragons,” Gann says. “The boys enjoyed a fun afternoon of drawing dragons and making buttons together during L.A. Art Center’s summer day camp.”

Camp staff often get into the act to help campers create memories. “For one of our Sizzling Summer Saturdays,” recalls Sedor, “a staff member brought her dog to be stationed outside at the drop-off/pick-up location. We created a special cape for him out of an El Camino College Kid’s College staff T-shirt and spontaneously made him the El Camino College Kid’s College mascot. The kids went crazy for him. It was fun to have an extra-special furry ambassador greet them that morning.”

At Page Academy’s Newport Mesa campus, the school, which also has two L.A. locations, hosted a Summer of STEAM camp last year with a new theme each week. “We ended our magical summer camp with a Harry Potter-themed sleepover for our campers in first through eighth grades,” says campus Director Kristin Dickson. “Our art and music teacher, Ms. Brook, mystified our campers with tickets to Platform 9¾, making their own wands and glow-in-the-dark broomsticks. She spellbound the campers by teaching them the levitation charm, Wingardium Leviosa, in our science lab. Finally, she created a truly magical experience by turning our library into the Hogwarts dining hall, complete with floating candles, flying keys and, of course, butterbeer.”

The fun and friendship can even extend beyond camp, like in the case of a 7-year-old camper at CodeREV Kids who invited an instructor, Anson, to his birthday party. “Anson actually showed up to his party in a full Jedi costume,” says Boorman. “The boy was so excited when he came back. He felt as though a Jedi himself had shown up to his party.”

At Summer Kids Theater Yoga Camp at Yoga House in Pasadena, even the families get into the act. “Every year, parents donate their homes so we can have a last practice [before the final performance],” says instructor Christina Conte. “Parent volunteers always create these amazing costumes, including curtains that we hang in the Yoga House studio across two pillars. The kids make fantastic sets with yoga props.”

Conte says the camp creates “friendships, a celebration of differences, trust and opportunities for conflict resolution.” (And she says spots are still open in her upcoming July 10-28 session!)

Wherever your child is attending camp this summer, take time to chat each day about the things she or he is achieving and your child’s fellow campers, counselors and staff. You’ll likely find that your child will have plenty worth remembering by summer’s end.

Christina Elston is Editor of L.A. Parent

Looking Beyond The Supermarket Aisle For Your Baby’s First Foods

Published July 24, 2017

By Talia Moore

Talia Moore shares a homemade meal with daughter Mayani. PHOTOS BY SARAH PRIKRYL

Next time you walk around your favorite supermarket, take a moment to study the food on the shelves. For the most part, it will reflect the tastes and preferences of the people who buy there.

Dominating will be the most popular brands and the most popular types of food, the best sellers for that particular chain and that particular location.

But if you shift your gaze to the people walking the aisles, you will notice a much broader demographic; people from many countries and cultures, all with their own food traditions. Few, if any, supermarkets have the shelf space to meet all of their expectations, but if you were able to look through their kitchen windows, the extent of the differences would become apparent. At home, many of us eat a wide variety of foods from a wide variety of countries and cultures beyond the scope of those grocery-store shelves.

This should be just as true for the first foods we feed our babies.

In the U.S., some of the most popular first foods are instant baby rice cereal and pre-packaged, shelf-stable jars and pouches of puree. If we are honest, we are all so busy we generally go for the most convenient option. Supermarkets pander to that, and food standards are high enough in this country that parents have confidence these foods won’t harm our babies.

But this quick fix isn’t ideal. Shelf-stable products often take two years from production to the time they reach the supermarket shelf, so they have to contain additives or use high heat in the production phase so they don’t spoil. Also, the first foods our babies eat can inform their food choices as they mature. If we want them to prefer the healthiest options later, we should try and avoid starting their lives on a diet based solely on pre-prepared foods. Finally, many supermarket-available foods are culturally bland. What a shame not to introduce the wealth of culturally rich foods we enjoy in Southern California at the earliest possible time in your baby’s life.

You can easily experiment with foods from a variety of cultures when choosing your baby’s first foods. Here are easy, low-cost options from six different countries – some of which are suggested by Australian nutrition scientist and dietician Joanna McMillan.

I am not saying ditch the supermarket and pre-packaged foods completely. But if you vary your baby’s diet, she or he can learn a love of travel – at least in a food sense – right from the beginning.

Japan: A favorite among the Japanese is a dish called okayu. This is rice porridge infused with dried fish and vegetables or mashed pumpkin. Fish is rich in protein and omega-3 fatty acids that babies need, and vegetables and pumpkin add lots of nutrients as well. Limit the amount of salt you add during cooking, because dried fish could be preserved using salt.

Kenya: A common first food is ngwaci (sweet potato). Kenyan children are prone to vitamin A deficiency, and this is a very good solution. Sweet potato is rich in carotenoids including beta-carotene, which can be converted into Vitamin A in the body. Sweet potato can be cooked to different consistencies, from purees to lumpier mash and even chips, which are a great finger food.

Dominican Republic: Babies in the Dominican Republic eat crema de habichuelas, a puree of black beans and kidney beans. Beans are a good source of plant protein because of the amino acids. They are also very low GI, so they release slow, steady amounts of carbohydrates into the body. Beans also have prebiotics, a type of fiber that feeds the good bacteria in the bowel. Babies who have good levels of these bacteria have a lower incidence of gut infections and upper-respiratory infections.

France: Many French pediatricians suggest feeding, babies as young as 5 months bouillon, or a thin vegetable soup, in a bottle mixed with milk. In order to develop their palates as they grow, young babies in France are also exposed to vegetables with many tastes and textures, including leeks, spinach and baby endive. French children have among the lowest incidence of childhood obesity in the world.

India: Babies in India regularly eat khichdi, a dish of rice, lentils and fragrant Indian spices, from about 6 months of age. This really knocks the idea of bland being best for babies on its head. Indian mothers eat hot curries and spices throughout their pregnancies, so babies are used to these tastes from the womb. There are many benefits of having spices in a baby’s diet. They are rich in antioxidants and plant-based phytochemicals. This is important for families that are vegetarian, as is much of Indian society. Mixing rice and lentils adds amino acids so babies get protein ,which is so necessary in their diet.

Jamaica: Mashed tropical fruit is a staple for Jamaican babies from as young as 4 months. Fruits such as mango, papaya, custard apple, sapodilla and banana are wonderful because they have a lot of naturally present carbohydrates, vitamin C and fiber.

We have a world of food possibility at our doorstep, and the opportunity to share that world with our babies is well within our grasp. My take-home message is to venture out, beginning with your local supermarket, where most if not all of these products are available.

Talia Moore is an L.A.-based childbirth educator, doula and founder of www.tummy-thyme.com, a manufacturer and distributor of healthy and organic food for babies and toddlers.

Family Recipe: Asian Sweet and Sticky Wings

Published July 23, 2017

By Christina Elston

Yunnie Morena and her husband now run the restaurant her parents founded after emigrating from Korea in 1977. PHOTOS COURTESY YUNNIE MORENA

Yunnie Kim Morena grew up in and around SM Pier Seafood, the Santa Monica restaurant her parents opened after emigrating to the U.S. from Korea in 1977. “I loved being in the kitchen at the restaurant,” says Morena. “It was so exciting.”

Morena describes her parents’ restaurant as a market-style place with lots of fish on ice and live lobsters and crabs. She recalls tasting her first uni (sea urchin) there at age 6. “I was a pretty adventurous kid when it came to trying different things,” she says. And she had her choice of seafood at the restaurant and Korean food at home.

In 2014, Morena her husband took over the restaurant and relaunched it as The Albright. Now her sons Oz, 7, and Cruz, 2, are growing up there. Morena says they aren’t as adventurous as she was as a child, but they eat well. “Both my kids love Korean food,” she says.

That includes the family recipe for these wings, which are based on a recipe Morena’s mother used to cook for the family. She says the dish has a very Asian flavor profile, and that the combination of Asian pear and onion tenderizes the meat. If you can’t find Asian pear, you can substitute another variety.

Morena recommends spraying the parchment on your baking sheet with olive oil before placing the wings on it to help keep the wings from sticking. And if you’re making the recipe for adults, consider adding 1 teaspoon of gojuchang, a Korean fermented chili paste, for extra spice.

These wings are also a popular snack when her kids have play dates, and the leftovers help Morena solve a school-lunch challenge. “My kids don’t eat sandwiches,” she says.

Asian Sweet and Sticky Wings from Yunnie Morena of The Albright

Serves 6-8 with leftovers

½ white onion

1 small Asian pear

4 pounds chicken wings

2 cloves minced garlic

1 tablespoon minced ginger

½ cup low-sodium soy sauce

¼ cup water

¼ cup honey

¼ cup brown sugar

1 tablespoon sesame oil

1 tablespoon sesame seeds

1 dash black pepper

1 scallion, chopped

Purée the onion and Asian pear in a food processor. Combine the pear-and-onion purée with the garlic, ginger, soy sauce, water, brown sugar, honey, pepper and sesame oil.

Place the mixture into a dish along with the chicken wings, cover, refrigerate and marinate at least five hours, or overnight.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. Line a baking sheet with parchment and bake the chicken wings for 25 minutes. Increase the temperature to 400 degrees, flip the wings and bake for another 20 minutes. Sprinkle with the sesame seeds and chopped scallion.

P-22 Shows His Stuff at the Natural History Museum

Published July 21, 2017

By Christina Elston

A well-known photograph by Steve Winter of the mountain lion known as P-22 is part of a new exhibit at the Natural History Museum.

To get into the Natural History Museum’s installation about famed Griffith Park mountain lion P-22, you have to cross the freeway. OK, it’s not really a freeway, but the 10 lanes of scaled-down moving traffic projected onto the floor at the installation’s entrance make an impression.

“The Story of P-22, L.A.’s Most Famous Feline,” is a love letter to the big cat famous for crossing both the 405 and 101 freeways on foot. Tucked beside the Nature Lab, the installation is also part of the NHM’s mission to connect people with the urban nature all around us. “We really are more than just a museum about interesting animals from faraway places and faraway times,” said NHMLA President and Director Lori Bettison-Varga as she welcomed visitors to a sneak peek at the installation. “We’re about the nature in our own back yard.”

Another ongoing mission of the NHM – following a major renovation and the opening of its interactive Nature Lab in 2013, and events such as Summer Nights In the Garden throughout July and August – is to make science fun and approachable for the average citizen.

That mission is near to the heart of Miguel Ordeñana, now the museum’s Citizen Science Coordinator and Wildlife Biologist, but also the first wildlife biologist to photograph P-22. Ordeñana grew up near Griffith Park and, after college, decided to “give back” to the park through the camera-trapping project that brought P-22 his fame.

The NHM exhibit follows the big cat’s journey from his birth near Malibu to his current home in Griffith Park, highlighting the dangers he faced along the way. These include territorial disputes with other mountain lions, danger from human neighbors upset by the big cats’ hunting (including P-22’s infamous killing of a Koala at the Los Angeles Zoo), a case of mange contracted from eating poisoned prey – and those freeway crossings.

: Several lanes of moving freeway traffic projected onto the floor at the installation’s entrance give visitors perspective. PHOTO COURTESY NHM

: A museum visitor checks out a tracking collar like the one worn by P-22. PHOTO BY CHRISTINA ELSTON

Also featured are an actual tracking collar like the one P-22 wears and the very camera trap that first captured him on film. A 3-D map of Griffith Park complete with moving traffic lights on its bordering freeways offers a birds-eye view of the mountain lion’s home, and a recorded soundscape showcases the other urban wildlife that shares his terrain. If you, too, are an urban nature dweller, the rattlesnake sounds will make you jump!

Like P-22 in Griffith Park, the tiny installation is a bit boxed in, but even that is turned to advantage. Markings on the floor indicate the scale of P-22’s actual territory, giving visitors a sense of the cramped space he has adapted to. It’s well worth a visit for those fascinated by the puma who has posed with such L.A. landmarks as the Hollywood Sign and become a star in his own right. What you see, hear and touch as you explore the installation will give you a new appreciation for our unique blending of urban and natural habitats – and might give you pause the next time you’re driving up Interstate 5 or along the 134 Freeway past the park where P-22 still roams.

7 Great Water Sports for Kids

Published July 18, 2017

By Mimi Slawoff

Kayaks On the Water in Long Beach rents sit-atop kayaks that don’t tip easily, making them ideal for beginners and families. PHOTO COURTESY KAYAKS ON THE WATER

For some kids, choosing a water sport is a no-brainer. Synchronized swim, for instance, is a natural fit for 13-year-old Sophia Davison. “It joins two of my passions – speed swimming and gymnastics,” she says.

Other kids might want to explore a little, and the L.A. area’s miles of coastline and nearby lakes make it easy. When my three kids were small, we started kayaking and picked up other water sports as they got older. My daughter, Christina, was even on a synchronized swim team for several years.

Summer’s the time to dive in. The UCLA Marina Aquatic Center in Marina del Rey offers an array of water sports for families to discover, and there are many water sport outfitters dotting L.A. shores. Depending on the rental shop and sport, rates vary from about $10 an hour for kayaking (without instruction) to $100 or more for kitesurfing and water skiing.

Pick Your Paddles

Kayaking is probably the easiest and most affordable water sport. It’s fun to pack sandwiches and a water camera and head out to a lake or bay for a few hours of paddling. “It’s good team building because families have to work together to arrive at the same place,” says Ken Williams, owner of Stand Up Rentals and Kayaks on the Water in Long Beach. “The main thing is, everyone is out to have fun, so you have a happy day.”

Kayaking is good for your arms, chest, back and stomach muscles. Yet it’s a relaxing activity because you paddle at your own pace. The sit-on-top kayaks Williams uses are great for beginners because they don’t tip over easily. If they do, they don’t fill with water and are a cinch to roll over. Williams rents kayaks on calm Alamitos Bay, considered a top place for paddle sports. Six miles of waterways lead to bird-watching sites, canals and even a mall.

Aquasurf camps teach kids about the ocean, safety and the environment – in addition to helping them stand up on their boards. PHOTO COURTESY AQUASURF.COM

When Loren Simpson, her 9-year-old daughter Chloe Madison and Madison’s friend Aniyah Reed stopped at Alamitos Bay for a day out, learning to kayak wasn’t part of the plan. But they watched people paddling on the water and thought it looked like fun. When they spotted Williams’ kayaks on the sand, they took an impromptu class on land before getting in the water.

“The girls were a little hesitant about falling in the water,” says Simpson. “About 15 to 20 minutes into it, they were so comfortable. We paddled through the bay and checked out houses. We saw swimmers, paddleboarders and explored the canals. It was quality time.”

Another fun paddling experience is stand up paddleboarding (SUP), which takes the skill level up a notch. As with surfing, you stand on a board. The difference is that you can take your board in the ocean, on a lake, bay or river. SUP requires balance and exercises your body from the tips of your fingers to the tips of your toes. It’s best to learn on land how to correctly position your feet on the board.

Williams gives lessons featuring a rocking simulator about one foot off the ground so participants feel like they’re on the water. The color-coded paddles show you where to place your hands. “This system prepares paddlers physically and psychologically, and they rarely fall in the water,” he says.

The key is not to look down at your feet while paddling. Look around and enjoy the views. “When you get on your board and you’re paddling correctly, you actually pin yourself down to the board and become part of the vessel,” says Williams.

That’s especially important when paddling in the ocean, where the water is constantly moving. If you are about to fall, kneel on your board for balance. Stand up paddling is versatile in that you can sit, kneel or stand, whatever makes you comfortable.

Kids as young as 14 can learn kitesurfing at SoCal Kitesurfing in Long Beach. The sport uses wind to pull riders through the water. PHOTO BY BART MILLER

When there’s no wind and the ocean is flat as a lake, Williams may bring paddlers to a dolphin pod, first by boat and then on boards. “The dolphins come up to you. The experience is life changing,” he says.

Fly on Water

Another amazing water experience with a passionate following is surfing. “It feels like you’re flying on water,” says Allen King, founder and CEO of Aqua Surf School, which has locations up and down the SoCal coast.

Kids as young as 4 who swim and are comfortable in the ocean can usually learn to surf the first day. While private lessons are available, surf camps are a fun way for kids to learn with their peers. It’s a relaxed atmosphere with more time in the water. “We teach them about the ocean, safety and the environment,” says King.

Surfing helped 10-year-old Lucas Peters conquer his fear of sports. When he was 8, Lucas broke both of his arms jumping off a park seesaw. After months of casts and rehabilitation, he was afraid to even ride his bike, says his mom, Kasi. Doctors recommended swimming to help Lucas become active again. After he became comfortable in the water, Lucas first tried boogie boarding, then graduated to surfing.

Lucas’ surf instructors help him work through his fears, sometimes just sitting with him out in the water on their boards watching the breaking waves. The sport challenged him mentally and helped ease his anxiety. “He likes to be in control and he learned that when your surf, you’re at the mercy of Mother Nature, so he’s learned to become more adaptable,” says Kasi.

“I like surfing better than swimming, because every time I go surfing I can learn something new,” Lucas says. “It’s exciting to catch a wave and ride it! When I’ve paddled out and am waiting to catch a wave, I feel calm.”

The Los Angeles Synchro synchronized swimming team competes locally, nationally and internationally throughout the year. PHOTO COURTESY SUZANNE DAVISON

Kids who like surfing but don’t want to paddle may like kitesurfing, says Bart Miller, owner of SoCal Kitesurfing in Long Beach. The sport uses wind to pull riders through the water. During land lessons, you learn how to maneuver the large kites.

“It’s something a family can do together, but everyone can enjoy it at their own pace,” says Miller. “The sport gives you a sense of freedom and independence, and yet an interdependence with the wind and nature.”

Miller and his son, Parker, learned to kitesurf together and turned it into a family business. He recommends 14 as the ideal minimum age to learn. “There’s a technical aspect to the sport that not all kids will have the patience for,” he says.

After watching kitesurfers near her Long Beach home, teenager Ashley Lloyd, already a surfer, begged her dad, John, for lessons. Reluctant to let his daughter try a sport that looked dangerous to him, he compromised by signing them both up for lessons two years ago. “I fell in love with the sport too,” says Lloyd. “The most challenging skill is maneuvering the kite at the same time as standing up.”

Little did Lloyd know that his younger daughter, Elly, now 16, had been sneaking out to kitesurf. While it took him about six months to get proficient, Elly was expertly maneuvering her kite within two months.

Be Part of a Team

McKenzie Waterski School in Lake Arrowhead offers lessons on a two-mile course. New ski designs make the sport more accessible to beginners. PHOTO BY NIKKI YEDOR

If your child has a flair for showmanship and enjoys swimming, dancing and gymnastics, synchronized swimming could be a good fit. It’s a niche sport that combines all these skills to create precision routines with elaborate moves in water accompanied by music.

Open to either gender, synchronized swimming teams are most often filled with girls. At Los Angeles Synchro in Sherman Oaks, kids as young as 7 can start in a non-competitive or competitive program and work their way to competitive levels for ages 12-19.

Los Angeles Synchro participates year-round in local, regional, national and international competitions. “It’s fascinating when girls come and try it. They either really like it or say it’s not for them,” says club president Suzanne Davison, whose two daughters are seasoned synchronized swimmers.

The sport tends to appeal to girls who like being part of a small group of swimmers that practice and compete together. “The most important traits that we look for are that they have a great attitude, they are looking to have fun and they are ready to challenge themselves,” says head coach Courtney Gregory.

Synchronized swimming was the first activity where Davison’s older daughter, Isobel, worked hard to excel. “I watched her want to make it to the higher level team,” Davison says. “It’s motivational and they feel they’re part of something bigger.” After seven years of competition, Isobel, 18, now coaches at L.A. Synchro and is eager to help other girls reap the same benefits she did.

“Synchro helped me build my self-confidence, provided me my second family and helped me grow in ways I could never have imagined,” Isobel says.

Ride Behind the Boat

At Los Angeles Wake on Castaic Lake, kids can learn wakeboarding, where they’re pulled behind a boat on a single board instead of skis. PHOTO BY ANTON TKACHENKO

While synchronized swimming is all about the teamwork, water skiing for many is all about the landscape. “When you’re on the water skiing, everyone has a purpose,” says Holly Frank, who along with her husband, Justin, runs the McKenzie Water Ski School in Lake Arrowhead. “For some, that purpose is to sit back, relax and soak up rays while you enjoy your family skiing, crossing the wake creating rainbows to add to your already perfect backdrop.”

No worries if you’ve tried water skiing in the past and couldn’t get the hang of it. Water ski shapes have changes dramatically over the last 10 years, so it’s easier to learn. “There is no longer a one-size-fits-all design for skiers,” says Justin. “There has been a greater emphasis placed on manufacturing skis for larger people and beginners.” Longer, wider skis with more surface area offer more stability at slower speed and less strain on the arms and upper-body muscles, he explains.

McKenzie Water Ski School offers lessons on a two-mile course, with two additional people allowed to ride in the boat. For those who don’t need lessons, McKenzie provides a boat, captain and gear.

For those who don’t want to keep track of two skis, there’s wakeboarding, which consists of a single board pulled by a boat. “Kids must swim well and not be afraid of the water,” says Maria Tkachenko, who runs Los Angeles Wake in Castaic Lake with her husband, Anton, who’s a coach. Their 10-year-old son, Max, competes nationally, and their daughter, 7-year-old Liza, also rides.

“Wakeboarding doesn’t require any previous training or skills, but kids need to enjoy energetic activities and sports in general,” says Tkachenko. “If kids know how to ride a skateboard, rollerblades or scooter, that’s a big plus.”

Another big plus is that you don’t need to be a strong athlete to enjoy many of these water sports. They’re fun and they’re good for coordination, fitness and self-esteem. My kids and I agree that we’d rather paddle in the ocean or ski on a lake than climb stairs at the gym. And there’s no need to cool down when we’re through.

Splash Down Here

Aqua Surf School, Santa Monica, www.aquasurfschool.com

Kayaks on the Water, Long Beach, www.kayakrentals.net

Los Angeles Synchro, Sherman Oaks, www.lasynchro.org

Los Angeles Wake, Castaic, www.losangeleswake.com

McKenzie Water Ski School, Lake Arrowhead, www.mckenziewaterskischool.com

SoCal Kitesurfing, Long Beach, www.socalkitesurfing.com

Stand up Rentals, Long Beach, www.standuprentals.net

UCLA Marina Aquatic Center, Marina del Rey, www.marinaaquaticcenter.org

Mimi Slawoff is an L.A.-based writer and mom of three who regularly contributes to L.A. Parent.

Hitting the Beach for Summer Fun Hollywood Style

Published July 18, 2017

By Isaac Parfrey

To many of us in and around Los Angeles, summer fun at the beach is an afterthought, only beckoning when the inland heat calls for relief. A friend from Studio City once referred to it as “the great A/C unit to the west.” Out-of-towners often accuse us of taking our 75 miles of Pacific coastline for granted. And they’re right.

I’m feeling especially salty at the moment because I recently took my boys to the beach and it all kind of blew up in my face – the sand, that is.

My wife, Kate, and I woke up to the sun shining one recent weekday, Google reporting that it was going to be a perfect 81 degrees. Summer filled the air. The pull to hit the coast was undeniable, so we decided to pack up the car (and when you have kids, there’s a lot to pack), cover baby Leo and 2-year-old Hank and ourselves with that horrible white chalky kids sunscreen and head for the coast.

As the car crept closer to the ocean, we noticed the palm trees bending in wind that appeared to be hurricane force and low clouds layered above like marzipan. Our hearts sank. The scene was not so sweet, to borrow from the surfer’s parlance. This, of course, is very common, especially in June. All you can do is hope for that marine layer to burn off before your patience does.

My millennial cohorts treat the ocean as a Hollywood studio set designed to socially engineer lifestyle envy. The goal is to devise an illusory world of dreamy ocean horizons as a backdrop for adorable, unblemished 3-year-olds wearing Wayfarers. My friends bring low-profile chairs, umbrellas, coolers of kombucha and watermelon water (not coconut water – so 2014 of you!), ironic second-tier Disney movie beach blankets (Do you have an “Oliver & Company” beach blanket? I doubt it.), body boards, sand-sculpting sets, portable lacrosse and disc golf sets.

Then there’s the food. For my millennial cronies, patronizing cafes such as Huckleberry in Santa Monica for some sourdough and deli salads to bring to the beach is trend-worthy. I have seen venturers from the Valley bring a selection of savory pastries from Porto’s in Burbank. For our sojourn, I swung by the oddly austere Playa Provisions in Playa del Rey. What the establishment lacks in music and personality it more than makes up for in ideal beach fare. I picked Hank up some handcrafted ice cream and a croissant. And we shared a near-perfect tuna sandwich.

But enough food. After you eat it’s time to catch some rays while you refresh your Instagram likes, then engage in all of the aforementioned beach activities with your children. They each get old after about five minutes, so my fellow millennials will often leave by 1 p.m. to beat traffic and get to the next sound stage, as it were.

We did our best to hang in there, and the marine layer did eventually burn away. Hank, always game for some activity, ran straight for the white foam at the water line. I chased behind and, for the first time, was able to explain surfing, why not to stand under a flock of seagulls, the meaning of littering and how to find sand crabs. The wind, however, did not wane and the second a single grain of sand hit Hank’s eyeball, he was done. By then, Kate and Leo were done, too. Our beach umbrella was about to be sucked out of the sand and fly into a South Bay juice bar. “Time for some watermelon water,” Kate said.

Isaac Parfrey is a writer, composer and L.A. native who enjoys roaming Southern California with his wife, Kate, and sons, Hank and Leo. Follow him on Twitter @IsaacParfrey.

Boost Your Kids’ Nutrition By Putting On a Fruity Face

Published July 17, 2017

By Christina Elston

Making Fruit Faces with the kids will help get them to eat more fruit, which is better for them than drinking fruit juice. PHOTO COURTESY CEDARS-SINAI HEALTHY HABITS

In May, the American Academy of Pediatrics – which has long advocated fresh fruit over fruit juice for kids – recommended that children under age 1 drink no fruit juice at all, the Academy’s first updating of advice about juice since 2001.

The Academy also recommended limiting fruit juice to four ounces a day for ages 1-3, four to six ounces for ages 4-6 and eight ounces for older children.

Health education specialist Carolyn Buenaflor, leader of the Healthy Habits program at Cedars-Sinai, says she has noticed more juice-drinking by toddlers than by infants. “You see a lot of sippy cups,” she says. “What’s in there is a lot of juice.”

The main objection to juice is that it lacks the healthy fiber found in actual fruit, and packs a big dose of sugar. “Even 100-percent fruit juice has quite a bit of sugar,” says Buenaflor. Instead, infants should drink breast milk or formula and older kids should drink milk or water most of the time.

To help kids kick the juice habit, try adding cut up fruit such as strawberries, lemon or blueberries to plain or sparkling water to create a fun, flavored drink without the added sugar. When you do allow juice, check the label to make sure what you are buying is 100 percent juice, without added sugar, and limit your child’s intake.

“Four ounces is not a whole lot,” Buenaflor says, explaining it is about the amount that a newborn’s bottle will hold.

To get your kids to eat more fruit (part of the reason for ditching the juice), Buenaflor suggests a project called “Fruit Faces.” Cut up a variety of colorful fruit, give your kids whole-wheat tortillas spread with a thin layer of peanut butter or cream cheese and let them decorate a fun snack. She has found that even first graders take to this project with gusto and enjoy eating the results.

Family Recipe Fun with Fair Foods

Published July 16, 2017

By Christina Jennings

While I was growing up, summer always meant warm nights, family fun and trips to the fair. Although I loved the rides, my favorite part was always the yummy food I could find there. In George Geary’s new recipe book, “Fair Foods—The Most Popular and Offbeat Recipes from America’s State and County Fairs” from Santa Monica Press, he highlights some classic goodies and new favorites. Geary is an award-winning chef and this spunky new recipe book is loaded with more than 120 recipes, plus fun photos that are just as exciting as you’d expect a fair to be.

The book is also loaded with tips for creating fair food at home – from classic favorites such as All-American Apple Pie with Flaky Crust and Fried Pickles to newer and more exotic creations including Deep Fried Oreos and a Triple Cheeseburger Doughnut.

These cake pops are simple to make—if you don’t take any shortcuts. Follow the directions and your friends will ask you to bring them to every gathering.

Click here for more information or to purchase the book.

Cake Pops

Makes 36 cake pops

9-by-13-inch cake, baked and unfrosted

¼ cup prepared icing

These cake pops are festive and simple to make. PHOTO BY TARYN ADAMS

8 ounces chocolate candy coating, melted and cooled

Toppings of your choice (sprinkles, chopped nuts, etc.)

Special Supplies: spring-loaded melon baller, 36 sucker sticks, Styrofoam ball (6 inch), baking sheet and parchment paper.

Crumble the cake in a mixing bowl, add the icing and mix together loosely. The mixture should form together easily.

Using a spring-loaded melon baller, scoop out the mixture and place the scoops on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Freeze for 20 minutes.

Remove the cake pops from the freezer. Dip a sucker stick about ¼ of an inch into the melted chocolate coating and poke into a cake pop. Repeat until all the sticks are attached to the pops.

Poke the cake pop sticks into the Styrofoam ball to hold the pops upright. Refrigerate for 10 minutes to harden.

Dip each cake pop into the chocolate coating. Before the coating dries, add toppings, if desired.

Poke the cake pops back into the Styrofoam ball and refrigerate for 10 more minutes to allow the coating and toppings to set.

Recipe reprinted from Fair Foods by George Geary/Santa Monica Press/August 2017

Our Favorite Ice Cream Shops

Published July 12, 2017

By Christina Jennings

If you’re like me, your sweet tooth tend to be stronger in the summer. These fun and innovative L.A. area ice cream shops offer unique and creative ice cream combinations that are sure to satisfy. Cool off this summer with the family and check out one of these fun shops!

Raise Readers By Starting Your Own Book Club

Published July 11, 2017

By Daniella Guzman

Like many parents, I’m guilty of turning to digital babysitting when I need a break and the kids want some summer fun. Television or cell phone games become my go-to when I need 15 to 20 minutes of peace and quiet after a long day. I know it might not seem like good parenting, but sometimes when survival mode kicks in, a little help from the television or cell phone is OK.

Digital entertainment is such a temptation that I knew it would be a challenge to get my 5-year-old, Sofia, to sit, read a book and enjoy it as a fun activity. To make reading exciting to her, we started a kids book club. This is a great summer activity for kids of any age or reading level. Who doesn’t want to be a part of a club with their friends?

Here are some suggestions based on our experience. I hope these ideas help you spark a love for reading in your home.

Involve your kids in the process as much as possible. Ask them to choose a book club name. Sofia named hers “Bookworm Book Club.” I suggested creative names but reminded myself it wasn’t my book club, so we went with her choice.

Ask your kids to make a list of friends they’d like to invite. We invite two friends each week.

Pick a day and time that works for your schedule. Plan your book club meetings around that. You could meet in your home or at your local library.

Send out your invitations. Sofia’s book club meets once a week for three hours in the summer and two hours during the school year.

Pick a book or bring your own book. Unlike grown-up book clubs, our club asks each child to pick their own book, either from the library or their book collection. This lets us accommodate different reading levels and different story interests.

Have an itinerary. Once the kids arrive, have them sit in a comfy and quiet area to read their books. Books for children Sofia’s age are usually short. Once they are finished, ask each child to do an oral book report in front of their friends. This encourages reading comprehension and helps them develop public-speaking skills. You could also have them read their books out loud to each other.

Have a discussion. Make a list of questions to ask each child about the books they read. For example: What was your favorite part of the story? Did you ever have an experience like this? Ask anything that starts a fun discussion. This also helps with comprehension.

Provide snacks! When the book club meeting has ended, I always have a snack such as watermelon, popsicles or mini cupcakes for the kids.

At the end of the meeting, the kids can play or have a dance party to celebrate! The idea here is to associate reading with fun.

A kids book club doesn’t have to be complicated. It’s important to make it engaging so they stay interested and develop a lifetime passion for reading. Always try to pick age-appropriate books and teach the children to respect different opinions and comments based on the book discussions. As the kids get older, you can pick different types of books that could lead toward more mature discussions or book clubs. Happy reading!

Daniella Guzman is the anchor on NBC4 Southern California’s “Today in LA” weekday morning newscast, 4:30-7 a.m. A mother of two, Daniella’s column, “On the Record,” brings her views on parenting, fun family activities and her take on work-life balance. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram @daniellanbcla.

Wrightwood Ziplining and Our Leap of Love

Published July 11, 2017

By Rina Baraz Nehdar

Kaleb Nehdar glides along above the Angeles National Forest. PHOTO COURTESY RINA BARAZ NEHDAR

We didn’t know my son Kaleb was scared of heights until we rode the Ferris wheel at California Adventure. When our pod started climbing and swaying, he threw himself on the floor and hid his head between his father’s knees. No amount of reassuring could get him to look around.

When I learned about “Ziplines at Pacific Crest” in Wrightwood, I thought it would be the perfect place for him to conquer his fear. Little did I know that I had some lingering fear of my own.

Wrightwood’s two zipline courses wind their way through the Angeles National Forest, taking riders to speeds reaching 55 mph and heights that brush the tops of trees at 300 feet. There are Indiana Jones-style sky bridges that connect perches built into the trees. There’s also something called “the leap of faith,” but more on that later.

We packed into an SUV with Konrad, who reassured us that he had his license in “hazardous driving” as our vehicle climbed the rocky terrain to our destination. Our guides, Adam Bondeson and Stepfanie Alfonso, gave us a practice run through in “ground school,” though we were nowhere near the ground as we sailed down the short runs to test out our gloved-hand stopping techniques. Once we felt comfortable, we walked to our starting platform 100 feet above the ground. As we took flight, sitting in the swings that supported our booties, we gazed over a river of trees between two mountains. Each landing platform was also a launching pad, and we zipped our way like Tarzan and Jane through the emerald forest.

At the end of our adventure, we had to free fall 60 feet to our connecting flight – “the leap of faith.” I told Stepfanie that I’d go first. After all, I’m the mom and I needed to set a good example. I stood at the edge of the wooden platform and willed my feet to step off. I held the wire between my gloved hands and tried to wrap my head around Stepfanie’s instructions to pull up instead of down as my body plunged. I couldn’t do it, and I heard my son snickering behind me. “Are you scared?” he asked. No, I just couldn’t make my body move. Stepfanie pointed to something and I looked. As I followed her gaze, she shoved and I dropped, screaming and laughing, feeling foolish and happy as my heart raced into my throat. Kaleb stepped off without hesitation. He must have gotten over his fear of heights. See video of the fun below:

To learn more about this life-changing adventure, visit ziplinespc.com or call 760-705-1003.

The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Music in Victoria and Vancouver

Published July 8, 2017

By Elena Epstein

Erin, left, and Emily Epstein enjoy a cool treat and the beauty of The Butchart Gardens. PHOTO COURTESY ELENA EPSTEIN

Ever since my daughters, Erin and Emily, were elementary-school age, they would spontaneously burst into songs from our family’s favorite movie, “The Sound of Music,” every time we were somewhere uniquely beautiful.

The first time it happened, we were visiting the Vanderbilt Estate in Rhode Island. As we walked through the gorgeous flower beds and past the gazebos on the immense grounds, my girls started singing “You Are Sixteen Going on Seventeen.”

So when 18-year-old Emily whizzed past us on a bike ride at Stanley Park in Vancouver, British Columbia, last summer and I heard her singing “Do-Re-Mi,” I knew we were somewhere special.

This trip was memorable in many ways. It was the summer before Emily, our youngest, was heading to college. The empty nest was looming and I was determined to create a trip to remember for our family. I had lots of ideas, but my kids are adults and have lives of their own. Erin, my oldest, had a sorority trip to Chicago planned and Emily had scheduled a soccer trip to Spain. In the midst of it all we had dorm shopping to do and, of course, work deadlines to meet.

The summer was going by fast. Europe was out – we had neither the time nor the budget. We always love the beach, but I wanted something we hadn’t done before. And then it hit me: western Canada. Not too far, reasonable airfare, beautiful cities, great food, lots of outdoor activities and super-friendly locals.

For L.A. residents, western Canada is a perfect getaway and Victoria and Vancouver gave our family so many memorable moments as we inched closer to college move-in.

: The Westin Bear Mountain Resort & Spa was a great home base.

: The spa was perfect for mother-daughter time.

: Nearby zip-lining was a perfect father-daughter adventure.

: The totem poles in front of the Royal BC Museum made a great photo opp.

Our trip began with an easy two hour 45 minute flight from LAX to Vancouver, then a ferry ride to Victoria, British Columbia, where we spent our first three nights. The BC Ferries leave Vancouver’s Tsawwassen port every hour starting at 7 a.m. (6 a.m. departures are available Mon.-Thurs. and Sat.) and the beautiful 90-minute ride allows you to take your rental car with you.

Arriving in Victoria was like landing inside an enchanted storybook. It has all the English touches, but not in a kitschy, touristy way. It’s charming with gorgeous natural beauty, cool restaurants and tons of family-friendly activities, including all kinds of water sports, adorable water taxies that your kids will love, biking, hiking and totem-pole exploring.

The hub of activities is the Inner Harbour, one of the most charming waterfront areas we have seen. During the summer months, the harbor features live music, festivals and performances. There are also lots of restaurants in the area and the whole family will love watching the floatplanes land in the bay.

We set up camp in Bear Mountain at the Westin Bear Mountain Resort & Spa, about a 20-minute drive from the Inner Harbour. Our quest for family time brought us to this resort because it provided lots of outdoor activities steps away from our room, is surrounded by gorgeous mountains and hiking and biking trails and offers a great spa for some special mother-daughter time. It didn’t disappoint.

: Biking in Stanley Park was one of our favorite rides ever.

: The flowers in front of the Fairmount Empress were inspiring.

: We indulged the girls’ inner princesses with tea.

: Who could resist a stingray touch pool?

Our days in Victoria were filled with fun. My husband and daughters went zip lining with Adrenaline Zipline Adventure Tours. Meanwhile, not being a big fan of heights, I went for a great hike on the trails surrounding our hotel.

Back at the Inner Harbour, we enjoyed walking cobblestone streets lined with shops and restaurants, rode a horse-drawn carriage and a water taxi, saw a 3-D movie at the IMAX Theatre and explored totem poles in front of the Royal BC Museum.

We also relived our daughters’ princess days with afternoon tea at the historic Fairmont Empress, where we savored the Empress’ signature scones, pastries, clotted cream and strawberry preserves with fresh lavender.

One of the absolute must-see attractions in Victoria is The Butchart Gardens, 55 acres of breathtaking beauty featuring every imaginable flower and plant. We were lucky to be there during the last night of the summer fireworks show that takes place over the Gardens’ lake. Adults and kids of all ages will enjoy Butchart, where locals with picnic baskets mingle with tourists. Erin was so enchanted by the beauty of the flowerbeds that she bought several packets of seeds to plant on the patio of her college apartment.

Following our adventure in Victoria, we took the BC Ferries back to Vancouver for a few more days of family fun and exploration. We stayed at the Westin Bayshore, just steps from Stanley Park and a perfect family spot, close to restaurants, bike trails, parks and a great aquarium.

When visiting Stanley Park, definitely hop on a bike. This magnificent green oasis in the middle of urban Vancouver offers views of high-rise buildings, mountains, beaches and majestic trees. It’s one of the nicest rides we’ve taken.

The Vancouver Aquarium in Stanley Park is a family must-see with a stingray touch pool, Canada’s Arctic exhibit, Penguin Point, Treasures of the B.C. Coast and the Pacific Canadian Pavilion. The aquarium wasn’t too crowded and allows visitors to come face-to-face with an underwater habitat where divers mingle with halibut, crabs, kelp, sea stars and various Pacific fishes.

A few weeks after our Canada trip, we were packing for college move-in — Erin’s senior year and Emily’s freshman year. Our time in British Columbia was exactly what we had needed, with long family bike rides, beautiful nature, adventure and no cell phones. Definitely a few of our favorite things.

Innovation in the Kitchen: Spiralizer Fun!

Published July 7, 2017

By Christina Jennings

Looking for a fun, new way to bring more excitement into your family meals? “The Spiralizer Recipe Book,” by Carina Wolff, is sure to change up your dinnertime routine. It features 150 easy-to-make recipes the whole family is sure to love. Spiralizers are new, must-have kitchen gadgets that help turn healthy fruits and veggies into beautiful and creative meals. This new recipe book shows you just how easy it can be to use one.

Wolff, a popular L.A.-based food blogger and health and nutrition writer, is best known for her creative food blog “Kale Me Maybe.” Like most of Wolff’s recipes, “The Spiralizer Recipe Book” focuses on plant-based cooking and features delicious options including Butternut Squash “Mac and Cheese” and “California Roll in a Bowl.” Since most of the recipes in the book are Paleo friendly, gluten free and low carb, you can feel good about eating them! The book’s Breakfasts, Sandwiches, Salads, Entrees and Desserts sections each highlight the numerous innovative ways you can incorporate a spiralizer (or any other peeler, for that matter) into meals throughout the day.

Click here for more information or to purchase the book.

Avocado Toast with Zucchini Ribbons and Almond Pesto

Avocado toast is having a moment right now, but the simple breakfast dish can get boring pretty fast. Why not spruce up your avocado toast by adding some toppings? Since zucchini is soft, it blends well with the smooth texture of avocado, and a little dash of almond pesto gives your breakfast a zesty punch. You’ll also get some morning protein and a boost of brainpower from the almonds, which contain vitamins and minerals that can help improve your energy and focus throughout the day.

Serves 4

4 slices whole-grain bread

2 large, ripe avocados

1 zucchini

½ tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil

Ingredients for Almond Pesto:

2 tablespoons raw almonds

1 cup arugula

1 clove garlic

Juice of 1 lemon

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

Optional: red chili flakes

Lightly toast bread in the toaster oven until golden. While bread is toasting, slice avocados in half and remove the pit. With a fork, scoop out both avocados and place in a small bowl. Mash avocados with fork until mostly smooth, with a few chunks here and there. When bread is done toasting, remove from toaster oven and spread avocado evenly on top of each slice.

Cut zucchini in half crosswise and slice off each end. Spiralize using a straight blade so it comes out in ribbons. Heat ½ tablespoon olive oil in a small pan on medium-low heat. Cook for about 2-3 minutes until zucchini has softened up a bit. Remove from pan and spread on top of avocado.

To make pesto, add almonds, arugula, garlic, lemon juice and olive oil to a blender or food processor and blend until smooth. Spoon on top of zucchini, top with red chili flakes if desired, and serve immediately.

Tips to keep your toast fresh: If you need to let your toasts sit before serving, be sure to squeeze a little bit of lemon juice over the avocado to help prevent it from turning brown. The citric acid helps keep the avocado fresh, and the lemon flavor will only enhance the taste once you serve.

Bridging the Summer Gap to Prevent Learning Loss

Published July 5, 2017

By Alicia Maciel, MBA

Now that the academic school year has ended, students are ready to enjoy summer and all of the fun that it promises. Beach days, family vacations, swimming pools and waterparks; activities that bring fun memories, social time with friends and a highly anticipated break from the classroom.

Unfortunately, with all of the fun that summer has to offer, the gap between the end of one academic year and the beginning of the next can result in learning loss. Across the socioeconomic spectrum, many students return to school in the fall much worse off in mathematics and reading than they finished in the spring. On average, students lose approximately 2.6 months of learning in math and two months of reading skills over the summer. As a result, teachers need to give up weeks of class time to make up for that loss.

These gaps in learning may be particularly detrimental for students with lower academic achievements due to learning differences, lower socio-economic environments or learning in a secondary language. The learning loss can be even greater than average for these students during the summer months if academic learning comes to a screeching halt. Students of all learning abilities work too hard during the academic year to have their knowledge and skills regress.

Well, here is the good news: Along with fun, summer can present an opportunity for parents to introduce children to new experiences, emotional development and creative learning, which may not be available to them during the school year. Here are some suggestions to help you bridge the summer gap for your children:

Read, Read, Read – Studies have shown that reading four to five books over the summer yields results comparable to attending summer school. The joy of summer reading is that children can select their books of choice. Whether you take them to the bookstore to purchase a book or the local public library for story time, it will be of great benefit to your child. Of course, there’s nothing more rewarding than reading with your children at bedtime.

Real-Life Math – Help your children sharpen their math skills. Teach them about money and budgeting while shopping at the mall on a hot day. Take them to the grocery store and have shopping contests to see who can get the most for the money you allot them. Cook with your kids to sharpen their measuring skills. All of these activities allow for bonding and hands-on experiences while keeping your kids’ minds stimulated.

Summer Programs – These can provide a variety of experiences that challenge children, develop their talents, keep them engaged and expand their horizons. Summer school sessions, camps, sports and other organized programs can be fun and beneficial to their educational retention from the previous year and prep them for the upcoming year. Of course, it’s a win-win for parents who work and need assistance with childcare.

Technology – Turn the meaningless gaming into educational opportunities. With more than 65,000 educational apps available for our technologically consumed kids, there is no excuse for not incorporating learning into the summer cyber fun.

Don’t let your child fall victim to summer learning loss, which can hinder their academic readiness for the next grade level. Take advantage of the off-school months by engaging your children in mindful thinking and mental stimulation without the academic pressure.

Alicia Maciel is executive director for The Prentice School. She was recently honored by the National Hispanic Business Women Association with the prestigious “NHBWA Business Woman of the Year” Award. She is committed to ensuring The Prentice School is a model of excellence for educating students with learning differences. Celebrating its 30-year Anniversary, The Prentice School is a private, nonprofit academic school located inTustin, serving students from all over Southern California, and is a Certified Nonpublic School through the California Department of Education, fully accredited by the Western Association of Schools and Colleges.

New Research and a Tourette Syndrome Update

Published June 29, 2017

By Christina Elston

A therapist assists a child in learning a competing response to a motor tic. PHOTO COURTESY TOURETTE SYNDROME ASSOCIATION

A research team led by Massachusetts General Hospital, UCLA and the Tourette Association of America announced June 21 that it had identified rare mutations in two genes that significantly increase the risk for Tourette syndrome. The neurodevelopmental disorder effects as many as one in 160 children in the U.S.

For an update on Tourette, we turned to John Piacentini, Ph.D., director of the Child OCD, Anxiety and Tic Disorders program at UCLA. Piacentini, who was not involved in the genetics study, says many people associate Tourette syndrome with coprolalia – involuntary swearing or use of inappropriate language. But that this is actually rare.

Tourette syndrome involves a variety of motor tics including eye blinking, head shaking, grimacing, shoulder movement or other motions, as well as vocal tics that can include sniffing, grunting, shouting, throat clearing, singing or other vocalizations. Both motor and vocal tics must have been present for at least one year for a diagnoses of Tourette.

The disorder seems to be based in the basal ganglia of the brain. “The areas of the brain that are involved are those involved with filtering behavior,” says Piacentini.

He explains tics like this: When a person first forms the intention of doing something, such as picking up a bottle of water from a table, the brain initially sends out signals to the body for more muscle movements than will be needed to complete the task. Then, as the person’s intention clarifies, the brain filters and refines the signal to include only the exact movements needed. “My brain might send out 100 movements and I will select in sequence the 50 that I need,” Piacentini says.

In a person with Tourette syndrome, the brain fails to refine the signal and filter out the extra movements. Those extra movements become tics.

Tourette syndrome is most commonly diagnosed between the ages of 5 and 8. The tics generally start at age 5 or 6, usually beginning with facial tics and progressing down the body. It is rare for the disorder to begin with vocal tics. Those usually start a year or two later.

The tics tend to get worse until age 11 or 12. In about half of children with Tourette, tics start to go away on their own when they hit puberty. Because healthcare providers have no way to predict whose symptoms will resolve without treatment, they tend to treat all children with Tourette.

While medication was once the first line of treatment for Tourette, behavioral therapy is gaining ground.

Medication was once the first line of treatment, but available medications tend to cause unpleasant side-effects such as sleepiness, weight gain and clouding of the thinking. During the past 10 years, Comprehensive Behavioral Intervention for Tics (CBIT) has become more popular and studies have shown that it can be just as effective as medication – without the side effects.

The first part of CBIT is to make the person with Tourette more aware of their “tic signal,” an unpleasant feeling that precedes the tic, and that Piacentini describes as similar to the itching of a bug bite. “They do their tic to make that feeling go away,” he says.

The second part of CBIT is to teach the person a competing response, something they do instead of the tic. For physical tics, the competing response might be something like gently tensing the neck instead of twisting the head or gently lowering the shoulders instead of raising them. For vocal tics, the response will be a breathing pattern, such as inhaling through the mouth and gently exhaling through the nose instead of sniffing. “Over time, they learn to manage the urge and not give in to it,” Piacentini says.

He explains that additional treatments being studied include transcranial magnetic stimulation (applying mild magnetic current to the scalp to “reboot” brain signals), deep brain stimulation (physically running electrical current directly into the brain) and treatments similar to neurofeedback. However, these treatments are experimental at this time and have not yet definitely proven to be effective.

Genetic connections to Tourette currently being identified could lead to additional forms of treatment, but not for many years. Meanwhile, Tourette patients continue to have good results from CBIT.

Piacentini also points out that for many children with Tourette syndrome, tics just aren’t that big a deal. “Most kids with tics are pretty normal, and it is important not to let the tics define the child,” he says. “Not every kid who has tics needs treatment.”

For parents of children newly diagnosed with Tourette syndrome, and anyone looking for additional information, Piacentini recommends visiting the Tourette Association of America online.

A New Way to Find Top Pediatricians

Published June 27, 2017

Parents looking for top-notch L.A. pediatricians can now consult the CHLA Health Network, a group of general pediatricians throughout Los Angeles who have affiliated with Children’s Hospital Los Angeles. The idea behind the network, officially announced in May, is to standardize the quality of care among these practices and give parents direct access to CHLA’s specialized care at the hospital’s main campus and partner hospitals – Providence Holy Cross Medical Center in Mission Hills, Providence Saint John’s Health Center in Santa Monica and Providence Tarzana Medical Center – as well as CHLA’s five outpatient care centers. Dr. Lisa Stern, pictured at left, practices in West Los Angeles and is one of 100 physicians who are currently part of the growing network. Parents can learn more at www.CHLA.org/FindAPediatrician.

Why Your Family Should Learn CPR This Summer

Published June 25, 2017

With Joshua Tobin, M.D.

At the beach or the pool this summer there are three letters parents should keep in mind: CPR. That’s because starting CPR immediately if someone is pulled from the water in cardiac arrest, rather than waiting for emergency responders to arrive, gives that person three times the chance of making a full recovery – avoiding coma, brain injury or even death – according to a study published in the June issue of Resuscitation. Joshua Tobin, M.D., lead author of that study, an associate clinical professor of anesthesiology at USC’s Keck School of Medicine and the father of three, says learning CPR is a great family summer project.

What is the difference between drowning and cardiac arrest?

Cardiac arrest means the heart and lungs stop working and the patient has no pulse and isn’t breathing. Drowning is actually quite challenging to define. I am a member of the scientific advisory council of the American Red Cross and that’s one of the things that we try to do. They used to use terms like “drowning,” meaning the patient died, and “near drowning,” meaning the patient had an emergency in the water and was perhaps saved by a lifeguard and immediately OK or spent a couple of weeks in the hospital and survived.

Now the terminology has changed and we talk about a “drowning event.” And a drowning event either resulted in death, a resuscitation or a rescue or some other outcome.

If someone is pulled from the water, how can rescuers tell if the person is in cardiac arrest and how should they decide whether or when to begin CPR?

The way you tell if someone is in cardiac arrest is to look, listen and feel for breathing and to also feel for a pulse in the neck. If in doubt, start CPR. It’s better to start CPR than to leave someone in cardiac arrest without CPR.

How much time do rescuers have to initiate CPR for a chance at a good neurological recovery for the victim? And does it matter whether that victim is a child or an adult?

The bottom line is, for both children and adults, the sooner you start CPR, the better. The brain can suffer low- or no-oxygen injury from just a few minutes without breathing, so I think it’s safe to say you have seconds or minutes, not minutes or an hour.

Can you tell me about some of the possible consequences of the brain going without oxygen?

If a drowning victim is pulled from the water in cardiac arrest, starting CPR immediately boosts chances of a full recovery. PHOTO BY STACY BRUMLEY/FREEIMAGES.COM

That’s one of the things we looked at in our study. As physicians, we obviously want patients to live. There’s also another criteria that one may want to look at, though, and that is the neurologic outcome. For example, if someone survives cardiac arrest and they can breathe on their own and their heart’s beating on its own but they’re in a persistent vegetative state, then that would probably be an outcome that most people would say they’re not satisfied with. We looked at people who left the hospital after having suffered cardiac arrest due to drowning to see if they were able to get back to their regular life. Were they able to do their activities of daily living like tie their shoes, clean their house, cook their food? Were they able to get back to work? Were they able to walk on their own?

Did your study look at the difference between hands-only CPR and chest compressions with rescue breathing? And which is recommended for bystanders trying to help a drowning victim?

Ours did not. That’s actually another area of controversy. Our European colleagues tend to give ventilations as well as chest compressions. But here in the United States we’ve found that it’s probably just as good to do chest compressions alone, or at least that’s the data that have come out in the last 10 or 15 years. A lot of people see someone collapse on the street, don’t feel a pulse and don’t want to do CPR because they’re afraid they don’t know how to do it right or they don’t want to give mouth-to-mouth with a stranger. So the medical community has said doing chest compressions is certainly better than nothing. So if that’s all you want to do, do chest compressions, call for help and go from there.

For parents who might decide that they want to take a class, do you recommend that they learn chest compressions and rescue breathing?

Yes, I do. My wife and I both know how to do CPR; she’s a physician as well. And when my kids are older they’re going to be taking CPR classes because that’s just absolutely mandatory. I’d love to see every kid in America walking out of high school with a CPR card. Communities where people have more familiarity with and more training on CPR have improved survival rates after cardiac arrest.

Can you talk me through an ideal response from a bystander to someone being pulled out of a body of water?

When they come out of the water, call 9-1-1. And if the person is unresponsive, no pulse, no breathing, initiate chest compressions immediately. Take your hands and put them over the breast bone between the nipples and push down on the chest hard and fast. Some people say, “How hard should I push?” I say push as hard as you can, really. And you should go at least 100 beats a minute, the same beat as that old song from the 1970s “Stayin’ Alive.” And you just keep pushing that fast, and as hard as you can, and make sure someone’s calling 9-1-1.

And the emergency response dispatcher can talk you through it if you don’t know what to do, right?

Yep. It’s called dispatcher-assisted CPR, and it’s becoming increasingly prevalent. This is something that really does help people become a little bit more comfortable with doing CPR.

Summertime Meals by the Campfire

Published June 24, 2017

By Christina Jennings

“The Outdoor Adventure Cookbook,” from camping-equipment company Coleman, is your go-to guide for a fun and stress-free camping experience and some great family recipes. The cookbook offers more than 100 recipes that make it a culinary campsite resource, and also outlines several tips and suggestions for creating the ultimate summertime outing.

The cookbook is divided into several sections to cover virtually every type of meal. The book features beautiful photographs of recipes such as Grilled Vegetable and Black Bean Breakfast Burritos, and new takes on old classics such as the S’mores Cookie Cake, accompanied by stunning visuals of campsites across the nation.

Click here for more information or to purchase the book.

Mustard and Brown Sugar-Glazed Steamed Salmon

Impress other campers with this simple but sophisticated dish. It’s delicious with grilled asparagus, squash, zucchini, corn or potatoes.

Serves 6

¼ cup coarse-grain Dijon mustard
¼ cup chopped fresh dill
2 tablespoons dark brown sugar
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 (3-pound) skin-on salmon fillet
1 lemon, sliced (optional)

Fit a grilling grate over the direct heat of glowing embers. Combine the mustard, dill, brown sugar, garlic, paprika, salt and pepper in a small bowl. Spread the mixture evenly over the flesh side of the salmon. Place the salmon in a large piece of aluminum foil, skin side down; loosely wrap, and seal tightly.

Place on the grilling grate directly over the heat source and cook until desired degree of doneness, 20-25 minutes. Let stand 5 minutes.

Serve with lemon slices, if desired.

Tips: Complete your meal with a delicious bottle of rosé or a crisp white wine to add to this extraordinary campfire meal.

Nine Tips for Tackling Tantrums

Published June 23, 2017

By Huma Pekcan

Tantrums are a common childhood experience, particularly if you are parenting kids ages 18 months to 4. When a child begins yelling, crying, kicking, whining and complaining that is out of proportion to an incident or situation, it can be frustrating, uncomfortable or embarrassing for parents or caregivers – especially when this behavior is displayed outside the home in front of bystanders.

Parents may feel puzzled about how to act in the heat of the moment. They may be concerned for the wellbeing of their child, or they may find it difficult to regulate their own emotions. “There really is not a way to prevent all tantrums during this period of your child’s development, but one can make an effort to decrease or do away with the behavior through consistent responding and skill building,” says L.A. psychologist Belinda Najera, Psy.D., who focuses on culturally responsive treatment delivery and has worked with children, adolescents, college students and their families since 1992.

Here are some practical guidelines:

Build consistent routines and schedules. This does not mean the child needs to follow an excessively rigid schedule. Experts suggest a flexible daily routine, a sequence of events that occurs around the same time each day so that the child knows what to expect.

Approach transitions mindfully. Tantrums and disruptive behavior often occur during the transition from one activity to another, such as leaving the park, picking up toys after playing or getting ready for bedtime. Instead of abruptly ending the activity, remind the child that the activity is about to end or change with simple statements such as, “After playing with your toys, we will pick them up together,” or, “In five minutes we will stop playing and start picking up your toys.”

Make playtime age appropriate. It is important to provide developmentally appropriate activities for your child to prevent unnecessary frustration. This is also a good time for skill building. If your child is getting frustrated playing with puzzles, you can teach new skills such as how to find and match pieces of the puzzle and how to ask for help. You can also take this opportunity to help your child identify and express emotions, and develop healthy coping skills. Your child can say, “I feel mad,” then work through his or her difficult emotions by counting to 10.

Catch your child being good. Najera notes that busy parents are often more likely to point out a child’s rule-breaking behavior than to praise behavior that is on task. But research suggests that showing attention to a behavior will reinforce and increase the behavior. Offer positive feedback when your child is playing quietly.

Be a good role model. Children learn by observing. How do you react when you are angry or under pressure? Najera suggests that when you are frustrated you can model healthy coping by announcing that you need a “cool down” or by counting to 10.

Pay attention. Sometimes tantrums may be the main way a child is getting attention. Create dedicated time for your child where you are attuned to his needs, listening actively and not distracted by the internet, phone or the mundane tasks of daily life. Plan meaningful activities and spend quality time with your children to minimize the need for negative attention.

Ignore the tantrum. When a tantrum does happen – as long as your child is not in danger – ignoring the behavior by not engaging the child, and perhaps even turning your back or looking in the opposite direction, might calm things down. “By ignoring the tantrum you are communicating to the child that you are not going to respond to them when they are having a tantrum, but that you trust that they can regulate themselves and be able to return to the prior activity once they gain composure,” says Najera. Once the child is emotionally regulated, it is important to resume the activity that resulted in a tantrum.

Acknowledge your child’s feelings. This might help decrease the intensity of the tantrum. Talk out loud in simple words and mirror the child’s behavior. Once the child is calm, offer comfort and perhaps a distraction.

Give a time out. If the tantrum does not decrease, consider removing your child from the environment so he can begin regulating his frustration in a safe space. Be aware of your emotional state and proceed calmly, so that time out does not become a punishment. As soon as the child “cools off,” invite him or her back into regular social engagement.

Parents may wonder if the tantrum their child is experiencing is “normal.” Tantrums that put the child in physical danger are an immediate concern and may require help from a professional. In addition, if the parents feel the duration or the frequency of their child’s tantrums is excessive, or they find themselves unable to regulate their own emotions, it is a good idea to seek professional help. If you are considering this, as long as a tantrum does not place your child in danger, Najera suggests filming emotional outbursts or tantrums to share with the specialist.

Huma Pekcan, MA, MFTI, holds a Masters Degree in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University and is a registered MFTI 86843 in private practice supervised by Jaydee Tumambing Hughes MFC43060. She provides psychotherapy services to children, adolescents and adults in her private practice and runs groups about Mindful Parenting and Social Anxiety for adolescents and adults.

Editor’s Note: We suggest the new book “Jilly’s Terrible Temper Tantrums: And How She Outgrew Them” by Martha Heineman Pieper, Ph.D. which models ways to modify behavior through storytelling.

A Delicious Guide to Dairy-Free Ice Creams

Published June 20, 2017

By Christina Jennings

If you love ice cream, you’ll really enjoy “Guilt-Free Nice Cream,” a new recipe book by Margie Broadhead featuring more than 70 delicious desserts that will have you astounded that no actual ice cream is involved. Broadhead, well known for her popular food blog “Made by Margie,” is a professional chef and owner of a catering company. In her book, she shows readers how to create recipes that not only resemble the traditional dessert, but also taste amazing. And you can feel good about eating them!

The hardcover book is beautifully laid out with stunning photographs of nice cream desserts and dairy-free pairings for the ultimate dessert experience. The book is divided into sections that show the versatility of Broadhead’s recipes – from breakfast treats such as Banoffee Overnight Oats with Soft-Serve Cinnamon Nice Cream, to a Banana Split Bake with Candied Pecans, the opportunities for exploration of dairy free desserts are endless.

Click here for more information or to purchase the book.

Banana Split Nice-Cream Sundae with Salted Caramel Chocolate Biscuits

All the best parts of a banana split whipped up into a sundae. To top it all off, try this with Salted Caramel Chocolate Biscuits for extra indulgence.

Serves 1

1 banana, peeled and frozen

2 pitted dates

½ teaspoon unsweetened cacao powder or cocoa powder

½ teaspoon carob powder or cocoa powder

8-12 ounces almond milk

Topping:

Whipped Coconut Cream (see below)

Salted Caramel Chocolate Biscuit (see below)

Put the bananas, dates, cacao and carob powders in a food processor and blend until thick and creamy, scraping down the sides every 30 seconds. Process until the mixture becomes completely smooth and the consistency of soft-serve ice cream. Add the almond milk and blend again. You want it pouring consistency, so add a little more almond milk or water if needed to loosen it.

To serve, pour into a tall glass and top with a spoon or two of Whipped Coconut Cream. Stick in a straw and serve with a biscuit!

Top Tip: If you forget to freeze your bananas in advance, don’t worry! You can cheat by using an ordinary banana and some ice cubes.

Salted Caramel Chocolate Biscuits

Makes 16 cookies

225 g (8 ounces) buckwheat flour, plus extra to dust

100 g (3 ½ ounces) ground almonds (almond meal)

a tiny pinch of sea salt

½ teaspoon baking powder

4 tablespoons maple syrup

2 tablespoons almond butter

2 tablespoons melted coconut oil

1 tablespoon almond milk

2 large eggs

10 pitted Medjool dates

2 tablespoons almond butter

tiny pinch of sea salt

200 g (7 oz) dark chocolate (minimum 70% cocoa), melted

To make the recipe vegan you can substitute the eggs with flax ‘egg’, an excellent vegan alternative. Just mix 2 tablespoons flaxseeds and 6 tablespoons water in a bowl and let sit for 5 minutes.

Preheat the oven to 180°C (350°F/Gas 4). Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

Put the buckwheat flour, ground almonds, salt and baking powder in a bowl and stir. Add the maple syrup, almond butter, coconut oil, almond milk and eggs, giving it all a good stir – you may want to use your hands. It will be a sticky dough.

Dust a work surface with a little buckwheat flour and then tip the dough out. Gently, using your hands or a rolling pin, smooth the dough out until it is 3–4 mm (1/8 in) thick. You can add more flour if it’s still too sticky, but don’t be too liberal or you will end up with a tough cookie.

Use a round 7 cm (3 in) cookie cutter to cut out the dough and use a palette knife to carefully pop onto the prepared tray. Bake for about 10 minutes, until lovely and golden. Leave to cool completely on a wire rack.

Meanwhile, for the caramel layer, simply blend the dates, almond butter, 1 tablespoon of water and sea salt together in a food processor, until smooth-ish and creamy.

Once the biscuits are cooled, spread them with a layer of caramel. These then need to set in the fridge for 30 minutes. Then either dip the biscuits in the melted chocolate, or spoon the chocolate over and then leave to set. They will keep in an airtight container for up to 5 days.

Whipped Coconut Cream

Makes 240 ml (8 fl oz)

250 ml (8 ½ fl oz) coconut cream, chilled (thick part only)

a drop of vanilla extract

a drizzle of maple syrup

Whipped coconut cream is a wonder. Once made, you’ll wonder how you ever managed without it. It’s dreamy atop sundaes, or spooned over tarts. And try it with a little cacao powder for an instant chocolate mousse. This is one of those lovely recipes where a recipe isn’t strictly necessary once you grasp the concept.

Scoop the thick coconut cream into a bowl and then whisk well. Add a splash of vanilla extract and a squeeze of maple syrup. Whisk for another couple of seconds until it is creamy and smooth. Store in an airtight container and keep in the fridge for four to five days.

Six Tips for Making Summer Camp Worth It

Published June 19, 2017

By Christina Elston

Learning new skills together helps kids make friends. Be sure to support those skills outside of camp. PHOTO COURTESY HERMOSA SURF CAMP

Summer, at last, is here. And if your kids will be spending all or part of it at camp, it’s worth your time to help them get the most they can from the experience. “Invest in whatever program you have signed your kids up for,” says Janna Hawes, director of admissions at Clairbourn School in San Gabriel.

With support from parents, campers can build new skills, make new friends and enjoy a break from the school routine.

Be positive and involved

Your attitude about camp can make all the difference in your child’s. That starts with how you prepare your kids for camp. “Prepare them for an independent experience, like the first day of school, but make sure they know it is fun,” says Jennie Crowley of Chef Eric’s Culinary Classroom in West Los Angeles. During their summer camps for ages 7-15, “There is no homework and no judging or grading,” Crowley says.

How your kids end each day is also important. “Every day at pick-up time, parents should be excited to hear about their child’s day,” says Candi Schreuders, senior director of operations in Southern California for Stratford Schools, which offer Camp Socrates for preschool through fifth grade. “Parents should be sure to give their full, undivided attention when listening to the child share his or her day. Look at your child while he or she shares and ask specific questions.” These might include, “What was the funniest thing that happened today?” or “Did you see or hear anything surprising?”

Take care of the basics

Camp staff, including the staff pictured here from Destination Science, can often help pave the way to a great camp experience. PHOTO COURTESY DESTINATION SCIENCE

Good eating and proper rest also make a difference in your child’s camp day. “Just as adjusting to a school schedule after the summer, a parent needs to gradually adjust bedtime and wake routines to be sure their child is not forced into a quick change in sleeping habits,” says Jennifer Guza, regional director at Destination Science, with camps across Southern California. “Let the camper know what their schedule looks like and discuss it with them often.”

Taking time for balanced meals and drinking plenty of water keeps kids from getting cranky. “Nothing is better than keeping your child hydrated and fed to keep up their good mood,” says Crowley. “If they don’t eat before they come to camp, they are not in good moods and it affects them negatively – they get weak and faint.”

Be consistent

Yes, it’s summer. But your child will get more out of camp if she or he attends regularly. “Parents need to value the time,” says Hawes. The Clairbourn program is designed as a four-week experience, and campers miss out if they’re not there because they can’t participate in planned activities. “For instance, if you’re missing ceramics every few days, you’re not going to get the same productivity,” she says.

Sticking to a routine can also help campers’ sleep habits, just as it does during the school year. And it can help younger campers who have separation anxiety and trouble adjusting to camp. “The consistency is what brings the security,” says Hawes.

Regular attendance at camp also helps friendships form, according to Ali Guerrero, assistant director of Camp Funtime at Westmark School in Encino. “Campers that continuously come on the same days each week will start to see the same faces and start to build new friendships,” she says. “Part of coming to camp is building new relationships with other campers that for many become lifelong friends.”

Help your kids maintain new friendships

Fuel your camper up with good food and plenty of rest at home so she or he has plenty of energy for camp activities. PHOTO COURTESY STRATFORD SCHOOLS

Sending your child to camp with food, drinks or games to share – as long as that is OK with camp counselors – is another way to help kids build friendships, says Vince Ray of Hermosa Surf Camp, which offers camps for ages 7-17. “Ride sharing is a also a good way to promote friendships,” he says.

You can even get kids together for play dates and activities outside of camp. “Cook and bake together and maybe swim or go to the beach together,” suggests Crowley. “Most [campers] are going to live in the same general area, and it is usually easy to continue friendships.”

Camp staff can help parents make connections. “For younger children, parents might enlist the help of the teachers to identify their child’s playmate and ask if they would share their information with the other family,” says Schreuders.

Support your camper’s new skills

Along with new friends, most campers gain new skills over the summer. This is a chance for your child to try activities and find out whether they like them – without the expense of a longer-term commitment. “We like to encourage that sense of trying and discovery,” says Hawes, adding that Clairbourn campers often create science experiments or art during the day. “They get to take that home, and that’s a nice talking point.”

Guza agrees that campers generally come home excited. “We hope that parents can set aside a bit of time to discuss the day’s events with their child,” she says. “This discussion will build the camper’s confidence in what was learned and help to solidify the concepts. We often hear stories that the child will re-teach their younger siblings what was learned at camp that day. There is no better way to understand something better than to teach it!”

Be consistent with your camper’s attendance so he or she doesn’t miss out on fun camp activities. PHOTO COURTESY CLAIRBOURN SCHOOL

Remember that when kids master a difficult-to-learn skill, such as surfing, they build confidence and self-esteem, says Ray. So it’s worth taking the time to acknowledge and support your child’s explorations.

Some skills, such as cooking, you can even practice at home. “Just keep it up and encourage them and tell them practice makes perfect,” says Crowley. “Also, you have to keep it up. I’ve heard from so many kids that their parents are the ones that don’t want to cook. Get in the kitchen with your kids.”

If your camper has taken up something you’re not familiar with – such as computer coding or filmmaking – ask them to teach you. “This will reinforce their learning,” Schreuders says. You can also ask staff at your child’s camp program for information and ideas to help support your child’s learning at home.

Troubleshoot problems quickly

If you find things aren’t going well at camp, jump in right away and enlist the aid of staff to sort things out. “Sometimes, starting camp for the first time or a new camp can take time for campers to get adjusted to,” says Guerrero. “Parents can help by staying in the know with what is going on during the week at camp and by communicating with their child’s counselors.”

They are the best people to help you get to the root of the issue. “It may be simpler than anyone realizes,” says Guza. “The most common reasons a camper isn’t having the amazing time they should are hunger, feeling outcast and missing their parents. Adjustments to the amount of food packed, a teacher introducing them to a new friend or a note from home in a lunch box can often solve these issues.”

By staying on top of things and staying involved, you can ensure that the tuition you paid for summer camp is money well spent – and that your child will look forward to next summer’s camp all through the school year.

Christina Elston is Editor of L.A. Parent.

A Parenting Slow-Down With the Help of Band-Aids

Published June 18, 2017

By Daniella Guzman

I’ve always wondered about kids’ obsession with Band-Aids. At my house, we go through about two boxes of Band-Aids a week, using them for every little mark my daughters get on their bodies. They try to mend everything with a Band-Aid – including holes in their socks – even though I’ve explained to my 5-year-old year old, Sofia, that colorful Band-Aids don’t fix everything. Or do they?

A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting on the floor, playing with my 1-year-old daughter, Olivia. I twisted my body to grab a toy, heard a loud snap in my left knee and felt sharp pain that sparked every nerve in my body.

I couldn’t move. I couldn’t lift my leg. I couldn’t bear the pain. Sofia rushed to get me a colorful cartoon Band-Aid. I wished that a simple Band-Aid could fix my knee, but doctors confirmed my worst fear: I had torn the meniscus tissue in my knee and needed surgery immediately. I was ordered to move around on crutches for eight weeks.

Surgery? Crutches? There’s no way I have time for it! Like many moms, I live my life in the fast lane, running around with the kids, managing family schedules, immersed in my work at NBC4, planning meals while fostering my relationships – whew! I felt frustrated that this had happened and anxious about the amount of time I’d need to slow down and recover.

Slowing down is not most moms’ method of operation, but it can be a real eye opener to embrace the idea that we don’t need to be productive every minute of every day. So, as I recovered, I was pleasantly surprised at how much I learned about myself in the slow lane. While away from work and recovering in bed, I watched TV, read a magazine, spoke with friends and extended family, cleaned out my email inbox, finished Sofia’s baby-photo book and even watched “The Sound of Music” uninterrupted with my daughters. We also played doctor and patient – you guessed it – using endless colorful Band-Aids. Overfilling my schedule and speeding through life didn’t seem that necessary as I let others take care of me, doing things like carrying a glass of water for me while I hopped around on crutches.

As parents, we give so much of ourselves to everyone else that sometimes we forget to leave something for us. At first, eight weeks on crutches sounded incredibly inconvenient, but it made me appreciate certain moments in my life and a slower lifestyle. I’ve also embraced colorful Band-Aids of all shapes and sizes as my daughters helped change my bandages. Those moments remind me to slow down, take a deep breath and enjoy feeling like I’m living and not just surviving.

Disclaimer: NBC4 does not endorse any brand of adhesive bandages.

Seven Summer Activities for Learning in and Around L.A.

Published June 16, 2017

By Robin Raven

It’s a sweet synergy when you can have fun with your kids while they’re learning. Los Angeles is a big city with even bigger opportunities for families to discover and explore together, but you might not have heard of these lesser-known gems.

Among them are a path-blazing center that rescues animals while helping kids connect with nature, a shop where you can go back and forth in time (or, rather, get so immersed in the fun that it feels like it) and a drive-in that mixes current films with a little nostalgia. All would make nice additions to your family’s summer to-do list.

The Gibbon Conservation Center

PHOTO COURTESY GIBBON CONSERVATION CENTER

The Gibbon Conservation Center (19100 Esguerra Rd., Santa Clarita; www.gibboncenter.org) is home to 40 gibbons representing five species, all on the International Union for Conservation of Nature and Natural Resources Red List of Threatened Species. One of them, the northern white-cheeked gibbon, is critically endangered.

During tours of the center, families can get an up-close look at the gibbons and learn about their unique personalities and behavior, their native habitat, why they are endangered and how people can help protect them. “They are fascinating primates,” says Gabriella Skollar, director of the center. “It is so easy to relate to them because they live in families and both parents participate in raising their offspring. They are remarkable acrobats and sing melodic songs unique to their particular species.”

The Gibbon Conservation Center is open to the public from 9 a.m.-noon Saturdays and Sundays, with public tours at 10 a.m. – no reservations required. Admission is $15 adults, $12 teens, $5 ages 6-12 and free for ages 4 and younger.

Pretend City Children’s Museum

PHOTO COURTESY PRETEND CITY

The Pretend City Children’s Museum (29 Hubble, Irvine; www.pretendcity.org) is big on interactive exhibits that give kids a chance to play as though they are adults. At the heart of this museum is a child-sized, interconnected city that includes Orange County landmarks such as the Irvine Clock Tower, Balboa Pavilion and San Clemente Library. The exhibits work well for all ages, and the museum is also a place where kids and parents can play together.

Another opportunity for learning comes through the museum’s diversity initiative. The Pretend City Real Café and Home exhibits change quarterly to focus on different cultures. In the Café, the menu, pretend food and décor change. In the Home, a new family of real Orange County residents “moves in,” bringing their traditions, culture and lifestyle with them. “Our educational staff facilitate learning through monthly activities, such as cooking or art classes, relating to the cultures represented in the exhibits,” says Senior Director of Advancement Leslie Perovich. “Children experience customs they would not otherwise be able to explore, creating an environment of respect for all people, regardless of ethnicity, religion, ability or orientation.”

Pretend City is open 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Sunday, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Monday and 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Tues.-Sat. Admission is $12.50 for ages 1 and up, free for infants.

The Bunny Museum

The Bunny Museum (2605 N. Lake Ave., Altadena; www.thebunnymuseum.com) is “the hoppiest place in the world,” according to co-founder and curator Candace Frazee, and is one of two San Gabriel Valley spots in the Guinness Book of World Records (the other being the Sierra Madre wisteria vine). The current collection includes more than 33,000 bunny items, and the museum boasts live bunnies visitors can feed.

The museum’s back story is as sweet as the bunny faces in its collection. It all started when co-founder Steve Lubanski gave a stuffed bunny to Frazee, his girlfriend at the time, one Valentine’s Day. The couple began giving each other a bunny gift every day as a token of love. After they married 19 years ago, they opened their home to the public. The museum moved to a new location in March and now displays the complete collection including antiques, furniture, contemporary art and nine bunnies from Rose Parade floats. The museum is open daily from 11 a.m.-6 p.m. Admission is $8, free for ages 4 and younger.

The Time Travel Mart

PHOTO COURTESY 826LA

The Time Travel Mart in Echo Park (1714 Sunset Blvd., L.A.; www.timetravelmart.com) is great for kids who fell in love with time travel thanks to books such as “A Wrinkle in Time” and movies including “Back to the Future.” The shop stocks quirky products such as Robot Milk, Mammoth Chunks and Primordial Soup, among other futuristic and anachronistic items. Visiting is a unique experience.

“Our products are all one of a kind and very well designed by our awesome volunteers, who are professional copywriters, designers and writers,” says store coordinator Carinne Mangold. “The Time Travel Mart is not a space you can just walk in and out of — customers get lost in wormholes and find themselves transported to a different time period.”

Wormholes aside, The Time Travel Mart is also a storefront for 826LA, a nonprofit writing and tutoring organization that provides free programming for more than 9,000 Los Angeles students each year. All proceeds from Time Travel Mart purchases benefit 826LA, which also publishes student writing and sells it in the store. Time Travel Mart Hours are noon-6 p.m. Mon.-Sun.

Great Wall of Los Angeles

Designed by Judith Baca and created with the assistance of 400 local artists and young people from the greater L.A. community, the Great Wall of Los Angeles (12900 Oxnard St., North Hollywood; www.sparcinla.org) is a large public work of art. The vivid mural is officially called “The History of California.” It serves as a tribute to interracial harmony and was established with the direct support of the Social and Public Art Resource Center (SPARC).

At 13 feet in height and a half-mile (six city blocks) in length, the Great Wall of Los Angeles is considered the longest mural in the world. You can relate its important messages to what your children already know about the state’s history. Plans to continue the wall to cover more current California history are in the works. The wall can be accessed free any time of day.

The Gentle Barn

PHOTO COURTESY THE GENTLE BARN

The Gentle Barn (15825 Sierra Highway, Santa Clarita; www.gentlebarn.org) is a haven for rescued farm animals – and city kids longing to play with horses and hug cows. The organization rescues abused and unwanted animals, rehabilitates them and gives them sanctuary. Residents include pigs, horses, sheep, goats, turkeys, dogs, a llama, a peacock and an emu. There is a blind cow, a cow with a prosthetic foot and a one-footed chicken.

“Once the animals are healthy, happy and ready, they help us give hope and inspiration to people with the same stories of abuse and neglect as the animals,” says founder Ellie Laks, adding that this includes at-risk children from the inner city and those with disabilities. “It is a circle of healing that saves animals, heals people and helps people be kinder to animals.”

Laks says visitors are often surprised that cows like to be hugged, turkeys like to cuddle and pigs roll over for tummy rubs. “Even though the animals have sad stories, they all have happy endings and being at the Gentle Barn will give you hope, inspire you, and make you smile,” she says.

The Gentle Barn is open to the public from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Sundays. Admission is $20 for adults, $10 for children.

Vineland Drive-In & Swap Meet

Most people think the days of drive-in movies are over, but nostalgic parents can give their kids a taste of yesteryear at the Vineland Drive-In & Swap Meet (443 Vineland Ave., City of Industry; www.vinelanddriveintheater.com). The drive-in has operated continuously since 1955 and claims to be one of the oldest in Southern California.

“I wish families knew that watching movies under the stars is the best entertainment that can bring families to spend quality time with each other,” says manager Juan Gonzalez. “Also, most of the time we have two movies on every screen for the price of one.” Gonzalez says that some of the family-friendly flicks at the drive-in this summer will include “Wonder Woman,” “The Mummy,” “Smurfs: The Lost Village” and “Despicable Me 3.”

Come early and you can shop the swap meet, with more than 600 vendors plus food carts. The swap meet is open from 7 a.m.-3 p.m., and the drive-in opens at 6:30 p.m. Fri. and Sat., 6:45 p.m. Sun.-Thurs. Admission for ages 9 and up is $9.50 Fri.-Sat., $9 Sun.-Thurs. Children’s admission (ages 5-8) is $3.25 Fri.-Sat and $3 Sun.-Thurs. Ages 4 and younger get in free every day. Admission covers two films, and sound comes through your car radio.

Choose your summer outings wisely and you can sneak in a little learning that helps stave off that “summer slide,” making the transition to school in the fall that much easier. You’ll also make a few memories and make that “What I Did Over Summer Vacation” essay much easier to write.

Robin Raven has explored the ins and outs of L.A. as a teacher, a nanny and a freelance writer.

Stephen “tWitch” Boss: On the Joys of Fatherhood

Published June 13, 2017

By Elena Epstein

Stephen “tWitch” Boss says his family – including stepdaughter Weslie Fowler, son Maddox and wife Allison – are “everything.” PHOTO BY DENICE DUFF

You might know him as the resident DJ on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show,” every so often showing off his awesome dance moves alongside Ellen herself. As a hip-hop dancer, entertainer, actor and former “So You Think You Can Dance” star, Stephen “tWitch” Boss has had some great gigs, but he is quick to admit that his favorite is being a dad. He married Allison Holker of “Dancing with the Stars” in 2013, becoming stepdad to her daughter, Weslie Fowler. Last year, Boss and Allison welcomed son Maddox, who turned 1 in March. I recently chatted with Boss about how fatherhood has changed him and how he strives every day to be the best possible dad to his son and stepdaughter.

Tell us how you handled instant fatherhood when you got married.

It was a huge moment for me, but I was ready going into it. I had a stepfather myself, so I could relate to the situation. I see myself as an extra source of unconditional love. I wanted to take the time to build and nurture my own personal relationship with her. Every day before school, Weslie and I make a Starbucks stop. That’s our special time in the morning. We have our own handshake. We build LEGOs together and play video games together. There are certain things that just the two of us do together and that’s very special to me.

What’s it been like being a first-time parent to an infant?

I really tried to soak up every minute of it. I didn’t mind getting up in the middle of the night or feeding him every two hours. I loved Maddox in my arms and him falling asleep on me. I was so appreciative of this time because I know he will grow up fast and in the big picture of life, this time is very short. Going from one child to two changes everything, and it’s not always easy. Your time is no longer yours, but there is so much joy to be found. I love seeing Maddox’s relationship with his sister – that dynamic is incredible.

What’s been the most challenging part of fatherhood?

Finding the balance between work life and home life. I love my work, but I also want to have quality time to nurture my relationship with my wife, daughter and son. I’ve been looking to working parents who have strong relationships with their kids and seeing how they’re making it work. Kids are also the hardest reflective surfaces for us. They teach us a lot and they force us to re-evaluate a lot of our old paradigms. Right now everything is under scrutiny for me. I want to be the best father that I can be.

Did you always know you wanted to be a dad?

I did. My own father wasn’t very involved in my life, but I always had a burning desire to have a family. To be called “Dad” is the greatest gift for me. My family is everything to me. I love coming home and having dinner together, playing games, reading books, sitting on the couch together watching a movie. We’re starting to create our own family traditions. It’s a work in progress, but I continue to discover a whole new level of love for them. So far, so wonderful.

Our Millennial Dad Talks About Father’s Day

Published June 13, 2017

By Isaac Parfrey

Millennial Dad Isaac Parfrey spends some time at the keyboard with sons Hank, seated, and Leo. PHOTO COURTESY ISAAC PARFREY

Father’s Day. When is that? Oh yeah, in June. Papas, pops, padres, daddies, daddios and plain old dads don’t get a holiday with the same play as Mother’s Day – or even the Feast of St. Joseph. (That’s a Catholic holiday in March honoring Jesus’ more-terrestrial father.)

This talk of Jesus and his dads reminds me how many ways the term “dad” can be interpreted. And this reminds me of an even more elusive term: “millennial.” I despise that term! It’s just a lazy word for anyone young with an ironic smirk. Yet “Millennial Dad” happens to be the title of this column and it occurs to me that it’s my mission to describe what it’s like to be born during the Reagan years and married and starting a family under Obama.

Opinions about my generation are mixed. On the one hand, articles from “The Guardian” and CNN posit that millennial dads “share parenting duties 50/50” and are happier because of it. On the other hand, recent articles in the New York Times and L.A. Times suggest that millennial fathers are “hypocrites” who revert to past generations’ behavior, going off to work and leaving Mom to slave away with the meatloaf.

I assure you, they are all wrong. We are simply dads who happen to have been born into an informational and technological tsunami.

So, back to Father’s Day. My father was born during the tail end of the Baby Boomer generation. He grew up, like me, primarily on L.A.’s west side and has lived through the city’s many evolutions. His father, a native New Yorker and character actor, fled west for regular TV and film work. But there was another reason. My grandfather had two young boys (not unlike myself at the moment) and knew the turbulent East Village of Manhattan would be a challenging place to nurture a family.

For my grandfather’s generation, Los Angeles represented a kind of liberation from the cramped East Coast. At the time, L.A. was only just establishing itself. My dad would always tell me, “Santa Monica was an old-folks home, Malibu was for hippies and the Valley was mainly farmland.” This almost pastoral setting of Los Angeles in 1960 was there to provide a healthier start for my dad and his siblings. Consequently, my dad found (and still does find) himself at home in the chaparral of the Santa Monica Mountains. And as more and more fathers and sons moved into Los Angeles, the hills above remained a respite from the urban onslaught.

During my childhood, Father’s Day with my dad and my siblings usually involved a treacherous trek through the limestone and live oaks of Malibu Canyon, Topanga Canyon, La Jolla Canyon. I recall grievances, and even an “I am not this type of girl!” delivered by my sister on one deplorable eight-mile bushwhacking slog. For my father and his generation of fathers in Los Angeles, the prevailing question was how to sustain and improve this miraculous place where their children were growing up. To my dad, this meant searching out positive natural experiences in what people call an urban sprawl.

Other dads I know go to church or a Dodger game, or simply secure a reservation at their restaurant of choice. These are fine ways to navigate Father’s Day in L.A., but I was raised with a more contemplative approach. I suspect my Father’s Day this year will go something like this: It’s 7:30 p.m. I’m listening to Leo screaming through the baby monitor. Hank pencils through “his” iPad for 15 minutes learning about sharks. Meanwhile, I’m grilling a steak.

When it comes to my generation and the meaning of Father’s Day, I think the key is finding the capacity to live in the moment with love and gratitude. I don’t have anything scheduled for Father’s Day – just hanging with my boys and enjoying my town. And maybe we’ll watch an old TV show with my grandfather and explore the mountains with my dad.

Isaac Parfrey is a writer, composer and L.A. native who enjoys roaming Southern California with his wife, Kate, and sons, Hank and Leo. Follow him on Twitter @IsaacParfrey.

Father’s Day When Father Isn’t there

Published June 12, 2017

By David Schonfeld

Father’s Day is usually an occasion for children to celebrate with their parents. Children might make cards, write stories or invite their parents to school for special programs marking the importance of their parents in their young lives.

For a child whose father is absent, however, these celebrations can be confusing and even painful. A parent might have died or live in another state or town. A father could be deployed in the military. Children in the care of a relative or friend might not know or have been told the whereabouts of their fathers.

For children who do not have a father engaged in their lives, holidays can be troubling and even upsetting, especially in school environments where special celebrations often take place. The National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement at USC offers the following tips:

Expect that holiday and school-related activities might trigger feelings of confusion or grief in some children. It’s not difficult to imagine such reactions for children who have experienced the death of a parent. However, such activities might also be troubling for children who have lost other important people in their lives—uncles or aunts, grandparents or neighbors.
Frame celebratory activities in broad, flexible ways. Acknowledge the possibility that a parent might be absent. For celebratory activities planned at home or at school, you might say, “For this Father’s Day, you can focus for this activity on another important male in your life—someone who cares for you and has provided support.” This could be an uncle, grandfather or family friend. Or if a parent is not living, it’s OK to give children the option to focus celebratory activities on their deceased dad if that’s what they prefer.
Discuss the upcoming celebratory activity or holiday ahead of time if possible. If you know a child has gone through a loss in the family, speak privately before the celebratory activity or holiday. Describe what might be planned for that day, or what might be planned at school. Then ask the child if he or she feels comfortable with the plan or would like to do something else.
Be sensitive to a child’s responses during a celebratory activity or holiday. Watch for signs of discomfort or distress. Check in to see if the child would like to adapt the activity in some way (e.g., instead of making a card for their father, make one for a helpful neighbor or their best friend). Offer options suitable for the range of life experiences that children may have.

David Schonfeld is director of the National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement. The center’s website offers a wide selection of free resources providing information about children/students and grief. Its experts are available for interviews on the subject as well.

16 Great Ways to Spend Father’s Day in L.A.

Published June 11, 2017

By Michael Berick

When I was a kid, my three brothers and I agreed that going clothes shopping felt more like a punishment than a pleasure. So, when my daughter asked me to take her clothes shopping at local thrift stores, the idea didn’t fill me with excitement. Still, off we went.

During our first few stops, including Goodwill and Out of the Closet, I felt like Julia’s driver, biding my time until she was done. Around the fifth or sixth stop, however, the proverbial light bulb went on in my head. I realized that Julia exploring rows and rows of used clothes was just like me as a teen scouring used-record bins for hidden gems. Once I realized that, I became less a bystander and more of an assistant on these dad-and-daughter outings.

Finding something you and your children like to do together is definitely a pleasure, and Southern California offers a number of gems – some hidden and some not – for dads and kids to try.

Batter Up

Take a tour of the L.A. Coliseum. PHOTO COURTESY L.A. COLISEUM

Taking your kid to a ball game is an American tradition, but you can take that a step farther and go on a tour of Dodger Stadium. In fact, you can choose from three public tours: the Stadium Tour, the Clubhouse Tour and the Pre-Game Tour. Each provides a unique look into the Dodgers’ world, making fans feel like they’ve visited Big Blue Heaven. Tours range from 45 minutes for the Pre-Game Tour to around two hours for the Clubhouse Tour. Visit www.dodgers.com/tours and click the “Dodger Stadium” tab for details.

The Dodgers played at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum from 1958-61, but the stadium’s illustrious history goes far beyond that – including two Olympic Games, two Super Bowls and a World Series as well as being home to USC football since 1923. You can learn about all of this, and more, on the Coliseum’s guided tours. Typically happening at 10:30 a.m. and 1:30 p.m. Wed.-Sun. (including Father’s Day!), the tours last around 90 minutes, taking visitors to the press box and the locker room (subject to availability). There is also a self-guided tour with more flexibility but less access. Go to www.lacoliseum.com to get tour and reservation information.

For a sports outing with a little more action, take your child to a batting cage. Two notable places where you can pretend to be Mike Trout or Corey Seager are Baseball Central (www.baseballcentralla.com) in Mid-City and the batting cages at Castle Park (www.laparks.org/castlepark) in Sherman Oaks. (Castle Park scores extra points because you can also play miniature golf and arcade games there.) While a batting session can help improve young sluggers’ skills, a batting-cage visit can also be all goofy fun, especially for little kids just learning the game. It’s also a chance to show off just how much your baseball skills have diminished since you were a kid.

Stepping Out

Pirate Park is a change of pace from the typical playground, and gives dads and kids a chance to say, “Ahoy!” PHOTO COURTESY CITY OF BELLFLOWER

Or show off your sense of adventure by taking the kids on a hike. There are many hiking spots around Southern California, and a few double as hands-on history lessons. Out in the hills of Agoura (at 2903 Cornell Rd.) sits Paramount Ranch. This national park started as a movie ranch where Paramount Pictures shot its films. Still standing is the Western Town set where you can walk around and pretend you are in an old Western. You’ll find several miles of easy to moderate scenic hikes surrounding the town. Horse riding is allowed, too, if you want to get into cowboy mode. The parkland was also the site of a short-lived car racetrack in the 1950s, and you can act like an auto archaeologist and look for its remains.

For a more urban (but still cinematic) hike, visit the Music Box Steps, located at 923-925 Vendome St. in Silver Lake (www.secretstairs-la.com). The 100 or so steps up to Descanso Drive entered film history as the location for Laurel and Hardy’s legendary comedy short “The Music Box,” where they attempt to carry a piano up this steep flight of stairs. Watch this classic – winner of the first Academy Award for Live Action Short Film (Comedy) in 1932 – before or after the climb to really understand the stairs’ cinematic significance. If you have the video on a handheld screen, you can even watch it in tiny Laurel and Hardy Park located at the foot of the steps.

Rent a parasail and soar over the Pacific. PHOTO COURTESY MARINA DEL REY PARASAILING

In L.A.’s vast Griffith Park, you can hike to well-known landmarks including Griffith Observatory, the L.A. Zoo, the Autry Museum and Travel Town. There are also hidden treasures located near these famous ones. If you are headed to the Observatory, take time to hike to Dante’s View. This L.A. cultural landmark offers a shaded spot with gorgeous panoramic views and a wonderful backstory. In 1964, a man named Dante Orgolini created this little garden oasis on his own, and volunteers have maintained it since his death in 1978. It’s a great example of what a single person can do. Find the trailhead directly across the parking lot from the observatory entrance. The sign is marked “Mount Hollywood Hiking Trail.”

Entering the park off Crystal Springs Drive, you can find the Griffith Park Merry-Go-Round and Shane’s Inspiration playground to enjoy, but if you want to be more adventurous, take a half-mile walk to the Old L.A. Zoo. To get there, park in merry-go-round parking lot two and walk past the merry-go-round until the lot ends. Shane’s Inspiration will be to your right, and the zoo will be just a 5-minute walk up the path to your left. Pack a picnic lunch, check out the old cages and talk about what the place must have been like before the zoo relocated in 1965. Then, get back in your car, drive 1½ miles north on Crystal Springs Drive to the current L.A. Zoo and see how much zoos have changed.

Griffith Park’s Travel Town has long been a favorite destination for young rail fans. Dads can make a trip there extra special by going on the third Sunday of the month and detouring east on Zoo Drive to the nearby Walt’s Barn (www.carolwood.org/barn.htm). This modest museum showcases Walt Disney’s love for trains and offers a peek at his life and career. Disney and trains – it’s hard to top that for many kids!

Three By Sea

If your little one is more interested in swashbuckling on the Seven Seas than riding the rails, set sail for Bellflower and drop anchor at Pirate Park (16559 Bellflower Blvd.). Youngsters will love it for the pirate ship, skull cave, fort and climbing bridge. Dads will love it because it is enclosed, a change of pace from the typical playground and a place where they can run around shouting “Ahoy, you scallywag!”

If your sea-loving kid is a little older, chart a course for Marina del Rey to enjoy some maritime activities. A good place to check out is Marina del Rey Boat Rentals (www.marinadelreyboatrentals.com), where you can get yourself a Hobie Cat or a Catalina sailboat to captain, or a kayak if you prefer. If you want an adventure in the air and on the sea, they also rent parasails for some high-flying fun.

Down in San Pedro Harbor sits the Battleship Iowa (www.pacificbattleship.com), the only battleship on the West Coast open to the public. Tours, available 363 days a year, spotlight the Iowa’s past. The ship also regularly hosts special events, including a “Brews ‘n’ BBQ” festival on Father’s Day. Visitors can also experience a unique take on that traditional father-and-son experience – going together for a haircut. Every few months, the Iowa opens its barbershop to the public; the next Barbershop Day is July 9.

Cops, Cars and Karaoke

Go for a ride in a classic car at the Automobile Driving Museum. PHOTO COURTESY AUTOMOBILE DRIVING MUSEUM

Maybe your kids are the law-and-order type. If so, visit the Los Angeles Police Museum (www.laphs.org) housed in the former Highland Park Police Station. There you can learn about important moments in L.A. law enforcement history (which might be too intense for little kids), have a mug shot taken and step into a jail cell (hopefully the only time that will happen), climb into a vintage police helicopter or onto a CHP motorcycle and check out a selection of historic police vehicles.

Pretend you’re part of the LAPD in “The Starlight Lounge” room at Northridge-Based Amazing Escape Room (www.amazingescaperoom.com). Help the cops build a case against a notorious crime boss to “escape” your room. These escape establishments are growing in popularity but often have age limits. Rooms at Amazing Escape Room aim to be suitable for ages 7 and older. Still, it is good to do a little research to find out which rooms are most appropriate for your kids. Solving an escape room mystery is a terrific way for fathers and children to work together at a fun, memorable challenge.

Lots of kids have fun memories of cruising with their dads. Take a ride with a unique twist during Sunday Rides at El Segundo’s Automobile Driving Museum (www.automobiledrivingmuseum.org). The museum houses an impressive car collection and presents a full schedule of public programs. And every Sunday, the ADM allows its visitors (ages 10 and older) to go for a ride in one of its cars. It is a rare chance to take a spin in a museum piece.

Instead of singing along with the car radio, consider taking the kids out for karaoke. Not all karaoke spots are noisy bars packed with boisterous partiers. At a place like Max’s in West L.A., Torrance and Downtown (www.maxkaraokestudio.com) there are no age restrictions until 10 p.m., so you can drop in for a little afternoon sing-off and teach the kids some favorite songs from your youth – hopefully without too much embarrassment.

Sharing something with your child – whether that’s old vinyl, vintage clothes, new adventures or a song or two – is a great way to fill a day together, and to make it a day you’ll both remember.

Michael Berick is an L.A. dad and Calendar Editor of L.A. Parent.

Family Recipe: Meatballs – Spicy or Mild – For Sharing

Published June 10, 2017

By Christina Elston

Family Recipe Jimmy's Famous American Tavern

Oscar Chavez, executive kitchen manager at Jimmy’s Famous American Tavern, makes these meatballs for his three kids. PHOTO COURTESY JIMMY’S FAMOUS AMERICAN TAVERN

Meatballs are often a kid pleaser and a crowd pleaser and Oscar Chavez, executive kitchen manager at Jimmy’s Famous American Tavern, which recently opened a new location in Santa Monica, says these are no exception. He has a 15-year-old son and daughters ages 9 and 11 and makes this recipe at home – adjusting the spice for kid palates.

“I made this recipe without the chipotle ketchup and without the bacon and it’s great,” Chavez says, adding that his younger daughter ate six meatballs that day.

He says love these meatballs without the sauce, which is a bit spicy. “Their palate is a lot more sensitive than the adults,” Chavez says. He recommends offering younger kids regular ketchup or honey mustard to dip the meatballs in, or just serving them plain. “You don’t really need a sauce,” he says. “The flavor profile [of the meatballs alone] is amazing. The oregano and the parsley, you can definitely taste it. A lot of restaurants use meatballs that are very simple. It’s one of our signature appetizers at Jimmy’s.”

Don’t be intimidated by the long list of ingredients. “It’s a really fun recipe to make. It’s pretty simple,” Chavez says. “The only trick is to have all the ingredients prepared before you start the recipe. Measure everything out, have everything all put together and then just follow the steps.”

These are great to put out for a crowd and the recipe can easily be doubled. Everything can be made ahead, chilled and reheated – or you can hold the meatballs in a 140-degree oven to keep them warm for a bit.

Give them a try for Father’s Day gatherings or barbecues with friends. “It’s really a great sharing dish,” Chavez says.

BBQ Buffalo style Meatballs from Jimmy’s Famous American Tavern

Makes about 16 meatballs

Meatballs

2 pounds ground beef

10 ounces bacon, ground in a food processor or finely chopped

1½ cups panko bread crumbs

⅓ cup milk

2 eggs

⅓ cup chipotle ketchup (add ¼ teaspoon ground chipotle powder per cup of ketchup)

⅓ cup onions, chopped

⅛ cup Worcestershire sauce

1 tablespoon ground black pepper

2 teaspoons kosher salt

¾ cups grated Parmesan cheese

1 tablespoon onion powder

2 teaspoons garlic powder

1 tablespoon dried oregano

¼ teaspoon ground cayenne pepper

⅛ cup finely chopped parsley

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees Fahrenheit. Fill a large mixing bowl with ice. Combine the bread crumbs, milk, eggs and Worcestershire sauce in a smaller, metal mixing bowl, place over ice and let sit for 5 minutes. Add the remaining ingredients to the breadcrumb mixture and mix by hand until everything is incorporated evenly. Divide the meat into 2-ounce portions, roll each into a ball and place on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Bake the finished meatballs for 12-15 minutes, or until the internal temperature of one meatball is 120 degrees. Remove from the oven.

BBQ Buffalo Sauce

1 quart Frank’s RedHot Original sauce

1 pound brown sugar

¾ cup Tapatio Hot Sauce

2 tablespoons honey

⅛ cup minced garlic

20 ounces barbecue sauce of choice

1 pound butter, cut into chunks

Combine Frank’s RedHot, Tapatio, brown sugar, honey and garlic in a medium saucepan and heat over medium heat, stirring with whisk, just until sugar has dissolved. Do not allow to boil. Pour into a warmed mixing bowl, add barbecue sauce, stir to combine and immediately add butter, blending with a handheld mixer until incorporated. Combine the meatballs and sauce, garnish with chopped scallions and thinly sliced Fresno or jalapeño chilies if desired. Serve with ranch dressing on the side.

To Make Ahead.

Let the meatballs – without the sauce – cool at room temperature 30 minutes, then chill up to seven days or freeze for up to two months. Chill the sauce for up to seven days.

When ready to serve, heat the meatballs in a 325-degree oven until warmed through. Heat the sauce on the stove top, being careful not to allow it to boil. Combine the meatballs and sauce and serve.

Shop Talk: New Parents’ Survival Kit

Published June 6, 2017

By Carolyn Richardson

When their bundle of joy arrives, new parents experience a whirlwind of change. These handy products will help calm the storm and smooth the way for moms and dads.

Why Summer Vacation is Important for Family Health

Published June 6, 2017

By Christina Elston

To kids, summer vacation means time off from school. To many parents, vacation of any kind seems like a luxury they can’t afford. But Krikor Deramerian, M.D., a pediatrician and “Wellness Champion” at Kaiser Permanente’s Baldwin Park Medical Center, says you can’t afford not to take a break.

Hectic work and school routines cause the body to pump out the stress hormone cortisol. “When this is sustained, it has effects on your body and mind,” Deramerian says. “It’s going to have consequences.” These can include anxiety and depression, problems with concentration and sleep, digestive issues, headaches, weight gain and even heart disease.

A break from these routines sends your stress levels back to normal, and you don’t have to book an exotic trip to make that happen. “You can be on your back porch or you can be on the top of Machu Picchu,” says Deramerian. “A vacation really is just unplugging.”

Taking at least 24 hours off will help everyone shift from the work and school mindset, and even a short day trip to the mountains or the beach can make a difference.

Before your break, make sure your work responsibilities are covered. Then make a point of not checking email or taking calls. “You should look to the rest of your household to do the same thing,” Deramerian says. Parents who have to check in with the office and kids who have summer schoolwork should set specific, limited times to take care of that.

Taking a break gives you a chance to spend time with the family in a more relaxed way, but you should also trade off childcare responsibilities with your spouse and each take time for yourself. “Parenting is also work, so you need a little break from that as well,” Deramerian says.

Taking time off also gives you a chance to test-drive some healthier routines. Practice getting at least seven hours of sleep each night. Try a yoga or kickboxing class or a new sport. Give “Meatless Monday” a chance. “Try something you haven’t experienced before, and take it back and make it fit in your everyday life,” Deramerian advises.

The health benefits of even a short break can be long-lasting, as can the consequences of skipping time off. “You will burn out,” says Deramerian. “Our bodies are not designed for this constant ‘go’ attitude.”

Toddle and Spin at Baby DJ School

Published May 30, 2017

By Christina Thompson

Aspiring DJs as young as 2 months can try their hands at Baby DJ School. PHOTO COURTESY BABY DJ SCHOOL

For a unique musical experience, visit Baby DJ School in Santa Monica or West Hollywood. Run by enthusiastic teacher Anna Wallace (also known as “DJ Annie Wonder”), this isn’t your typical children’s music class with guitars, pianos and drums. Instead, kids ages 2 months to 5 years are introduced to faders, laptops, vinyl records, turntables and other DJ equipment.

The 45-minute lessons also feature one-of-a-kind songs such as “Makin’ our Favorite Beat Drop” and “Daddy Loves Disco.” Wallace’s love of music and children radiates outward, making the class fun and engaging.

Each child gets to handle and spin records, using headphones to listen to the deck. A scarf activity helps kids learn about high and low pitch, and other creative songs teach them about mixing faders and using buttons and knobs. Each class ends with an entertaining bubble machine and parachute activity.

If you like brushing elbows with hip parents and enjoy a variety of music (from house to disco), this is the class for you and your child. The eight-week session costs $200, and a one-time trial class costs $30. My 8-month-old daughter found this activity fun but overstimulating, so it might not be a fit for the very young or those sensitive to loud noise. The older children in the class, however, looked very excited and appeared to have a lot of fun.

Marissa Bargeliotes takes her 20-month-old daughter, Blake, to class weekly. “She loves it, and I enjoy that we get to hear different music,” Bargeliotes says. “They get to learn something new every week. The class varies, but they also get the routine and familiarity that helps them learn.”

For more information about Baby DJ School or to enroll in a class, visit www.babydjschoolla.com.

Photographing Babies Who Are Worth the Wait

Published May 29, 2017

Amanda Naor is an L.A.-based newborn and family photographer, but she isn’t a parent – not yet, anyway. She and her husband have been on an infertility journey that began in June of 2015 and she is determined to tell their story to call attention to the plight of couples who struggle to get pregnant.

If you needed medical help to become pregnant or have adopted a child because of infertility, she wants to tell your story as well. And she just might offer you and your family a free photo session.

Every month, as part of her #WorthTheWait series, Naor will gift a newborn photography session to one Los Angeles-area family that has overcome infertility and has an infant under age 12 months. She will also share the family’s story on her website.

Naor and her husband have been diagnosed with “unexplained infertility” and are beginning the in-vitro fertilization process. She hopes to share the story of her own worth-the-wait new arrival soon.

To learn more about Naor, her photography and her infertility journey, and to apply for a #WorthTheWait photo session, visit www.amandanaorphotography.com/worth-the-wait.

Having a Safe and Healthy Summer Camp Experience

Published May 22, 2017

By Mary Hull

Many summer camps require a pre-camp physical, and you can get one through your healthcare provider, or at Minute Clinic. PHOTO COURTESY MINUTE CLINIC

If you’re like many parents right now, you’re busy deciding which summer camp your children will be attending and thinking about how to prepare them for a fun, healthy and safe experience away from home.

With those decisions, it’s natural for parents to experience some anxiety; especially for those who have first-time campers or children with chronic health issues.

The following recommendations are based on my years of experience as a family nurse practitioner who has completed hundreds of camp physical exams:

Camp Choice

If you’ve yet to make a final camp decision, make sure the options you are considering are the right match for your child’s interests and capabilities. Take into account your child’s age, personality and self-confidence and whether they can perform at the fitness level required for specific activities. Ask about pick-up and drop-off policies and mail, phone and care-package rules. Having an emergency contact list for your child and counselors is essential to help your camper feel safe and emotionally involved and ready.

Camp Health Policies

Review the camp’s health policies and practices. If you can’t readily obtain this information, it could be a red flag.

Websites and camp registration materials should clearly state whether a medical professional such as a nurse or certified athletic trainer (in the case of sports camps) is always on site and whether counselors have received CPR and first-aid training. Other key information is the camp’s parental notification policy and its proximity to emergency medical facilities such as a hospital or urgent-care center.

Camp Physicals

Determine whether a camp physical is needed. Most camps require this, and often I see parents who wait until the last minute or forget to schedule an appointment. Camp physicals can be obtained from your child’s pediatrician or at a walk-in retail clinic such as MinuteClinic in the Los Angeles area. Health insurance providers will not cover camp and sports physicals, so be sure to ask about the cost in advance. Prices can vary quite a bit.

A proper camp physical should include a review of the child’s health history and immunizations, height and weight check, thorough physical exam and a stamp or signature on exam forms.

Chronic Health Issues

If your child has asthma, diabetes, serious allergies or other chronic health concerns, contact the camp in advance to understand how medicines and preventive treatment are handled and what your child can administer on their own. This could include inhalers for asthma treatment, insulin injections and other prescription medication.

If your child has food allergies, speak with the camp nutritionist or cook to ensure that menus can be tailored to dietary requirements. And if they have a peanut allergy or are allergic to insect stings, determine whether they can carry their own epinephrine auto-injector. Make sure that camp counselors are equipped with an extra auto-injector on site and are trained to administer care.

When you drop your child off at camp, meet with the appropriate staff members and go over the details one last time so there is no miscommunication about what is necessary and expected for your child’s care.

What to Pack

Send your child to camp with broken-in hiking boots; slip-resistant water shoes for showers and the pool; lightweight, long-sleeved shirts for hikes and activities (to protect against ticks, poison ivy and the sun’s rays); adhesive strips for cuts and blisters; hand sanitizer; athlete’s foot medication; lip balm; necessary eye care items including sun glasses, protective goggles for sports, extra contact lenses or glasses; and hats for sun protection. Remember to label everything!

Mary Hull

For sun block, choose a broad-spectrum product with an SPF of 30, which blocks 97 percent of UVA and UVB rays with spray and stick options for easier application. Insect repellent (with/without DEET) is available in spray or wipe options.

Your careful planning and preparation should help to ensure a safe journey of fun and growth for your child.

Mary Hull is a mother of three living in San Dimas and a Family Nurse Practitioner at Minute Clinic in Burbank and Pomona. MinuteClinic offers camp physicals at locations inside select CVS pharmacy stores in Los Angeles, Orange, Riverside and Ventura counties.

Responding to Your Child’s Swim Mishaps

Published May 21, 2017

By Lisa Cook

KidSwim founder Lisa Cook has been teaching water safety for decades. PHOTO COURTESY KIDSWIM

It happens even when you’re right there, within arms reach of your child. One minute, they’re bobbing on a noodle or splashing on the steps. The next minute, they’re under water. You only took your eyes off them for one second, but it was during that second that your child disappeared.

You lunge for them and pluck them up quickly – before any harm is done. They are physically fine, but then what? How you react has an enormous impact on how they recover and move on from the incident. Some children will barely even register that something scary has happened, while others will be shaken and initially terrified and confused.

I know that as the parent, your heart will be beating so fast it’s a wonder it doesn’t fly right out of your chest and you will probably feel faint. The residual thoughts will plague you for hours, if not days: What if I hadn’t been there? What if I hadn’t seen him or her for another few seconds? Why did I turn away for even a second? Being prepared for these tiny, yet significant, moments can help you and your child move through them smoothly.

First, understand that having your child under water for a second or two is not physically harmful beyond the fact that they might have been unprepared and swallowed some water. The best thing you can do for your child is to downplay the incident as much as possible.

Comfort your child (and yourself) for a few minutes. Hold them in the water and kiss and hug them. Use words that acknowledge your child’s fear, discomfort or confusion without putting ideas in their head that may not be there already. Here is an example of what you can say: “Honey, you slipped under the water for a second. You did such a good job of keeping yourself up as much as possible and Mommy was right there to get you. Sometimes that happens in the water and that’s why Mommy is always close by, so I can catch you. Soon, you’ll learn how to catch yourself when you fall, but in the meantime, I’m right here.”

See if they calm down. If they seem fine (most often they will) and want to continue to play in the pool, let them. This will allow them to end their pool session on a positive note.

If your child still seems shaken, fearful or is crying and upset, try to be comforting in a casual way. Tell them that it is time to come out of the pool, but ask them to help you carry a toy to the side, or perform some other task such as searching for leaves or butterflies that might have fallen into the pool. Hold them close against you while they help. Often, the simple act of being helpful and on a mission calms them down. Once your child is calm, take them out of the pool.

Don’t discuss the incident again unless your child brings it up: “Remember when I fell in the pool?” If that happens, you can counter with: “Yes, I do. Remember that Mommy was right there to catch you?” Rather than focus on how it felt, focus on the facts, which are easier for them to digest and remember. Don’t use the term “drowning” with your child, or if you are relaying the incident in their presence. You don’t want them to overhear your anxiety and become anxious themselves.

If your child is taking swim lessons, mention the incident to the instructor so he or she can incorporate some water safety skills into lessons to help your child feel more in control and self sufficient. If your child says they are now afraid to take lessons, talk to the swim instructor with your child present and make an agreement about what your child will or won’t do for the next couple of lessons. Your child will want to feel as in control of the situation as possible. After a lesson or two, the instructor should be able to work your child back up to where she or he was before the incident.

Calmly reiterate to your child that they are having lessons so they can learn how to swim and take care of themselves if they “falls under.” Remember that children are not afraid of learning to swim, they are afraid of falling, especially when they can’t touch the bottom of the pool.

As a parent, it is hard not to feel guilty after an incident like this, but it’s a good reminder. Be glad you had the experience, because I can assure you that your child will recover and probably forget it sooner than you think. Fortunately, you will never forget it, thus ensuring that it never happens again.

Lisa Cook is the CEO master instructor at KidSwim, which offers lessons throughout the L.A. area. She has taught swimming for more than 30 years, and is the mom of two boys.

Abbie Boudreau: On Raising News-Savvy Kids

Published May 20, 2017

By Elena Epstein

Abbie Boudreau with husband, Michael Cook, son, Calvin Cook and daughter, Clover Cook. PHOTO COURTESY ABBIE BOUDREAU

As a kid, Abbie Boudreau was curious about everything. She wanted to grow up to be an astronaut and a pastry chef. Later, as a graduate student at Northwestern University’s Medill School of Journalism, her inquisitiveness and desire to help others led her to pursue a career in broadcast journalism. The Emmy-Award winner went on to work at CNN and ABC News as an investigative correspondent and now covers feature stories for “Good Morning America” and “Nightline.”

Boudreau lives in Los Angeles with her husband and two young children. She is also building a fan base online with her weekly live-streaming videos on Facebook. Boudreau recently created the family-focused website, Abbie Live! (www.abbielive.com). Her recent TEDxHollywood speech shed light on the importance of being a smart news consumer, and I recently chatted with her about this, among other things.

How can we raise news-savvy kids?

I think about this a lot with my own kids – especially now, when there is so much talk about “fake news.” It’s important to teach our kids how to find information they can trust. We need to teach children from a young age how to become their own reporters. We can do this by teaching them to have an open mind, to seek out multiple sources and to dig for information in its rawest form. Technology has changed the way we gather news and how consumers process it. As a parent and as a journalist, I am trying to encourage my children to stretch their attention spans beyond 140 characters to find the real story.

Tell us about working with your kids on your Facebook live broadcast.

I love working with them and we’re learning so much together. We could be crafting LEGO magnets one day and making a brownie in a mug another, but it’s something we have fun doing together. I love visual storytelling and I enjoy connecting with other parents, so this is my sweet spot. Because it is a live broadcast, it’s far from perfect, and that’s just the way I like it! It’s important to me that my content is real and unfiltered.

How do you juggle home and work life?

For me, it’s all about prioritizing elements of my day to achieve some semblance of “balance.” It’s not easy and I certainly don’t have it figured out. My car has become my “mobile office.” It’s really the only place where I can escape for some quiet time away from the chaos inside my home! I have a full-time babysitter to help with the kids. I no longer travel so much for work. I try my best, but I have learned to embrace my imperfections. I used to act like I had it all together, but that’s a very stressful way to live. Now I remind myself to let go, have fun and to enjoy my family.

Share with us a news segment that affected you as a mom?

I worked on several segments for “Good Morning America” about body shaming. While covering this story, I was inspired by women who refused to be victims of online haters. They posted filter-free pictures of themselves and embraced their bodies with a “who-cares” kind of attitude. It made me realize that I had been judging myself too hard for far too long. I’m glad I finally learned this lesson so I can lead by example when it comes to my own kids.

Where is your family’s favorite spot in L.A.?

On just about every weekend, we hit the beach! I’m from Chicago so I try to take full advantage of the gorgeous weather and ocean here.

Geocaching With Kids for Outdoor Fun In L.A.

Published May 19, 2017

By Melissa Gage

Collier Gage sorts through a cache discovered at Travel Town in Griffith Park. PHOTO BY MELISSA GAGE

Armed with a modern-day treasure map (of the iPhone variety), my 4-year-old son and I beelined through the park, following the in-app compass to our destination. Ding! “You’re getting close!” the app encouraged.

Our hearts were pounding as we arrived where X marked the spot. We frantically flipped over leaves, shuffled rocks and generally sleuthed around a bit, until … pay dirt!

My son popped open a small Tupperware container and eagerly assessed the treasures – in this case trinkets, figurines and even a buffalo nickel – left by other geocachers. He pocketed the nickel and left a miniature plastic pony in its place for the next treasure hunter. We wrote our names in the log and recorded our find in the app with great satisfaction.

Who knew a GPS-fueled treasure hunt with a 4-year-old could yield such outdoor fun?

Geocaching is catching on around the globe, from classrooms in the Los Angeles Unified School District to far-flung corners of the Earth. There are 2.8 million geocaches hidden around the world, nearly 5,000 of them in Los Angeles. Finding these hidden treasures is a fun, free, family activity that encourages exploration and can help you see L.A. in a whole new way.

How it works

“It’s fun, it gets us outdoors and it gets us trying new things,” says Silver Lake resident Ginny Pennekamp, mother of 5-year-old Finn. “The very best part is knowing a secret about that location forever. We’ll never drive by the Harley Davidson store without talking about the huge coffee can of treasure in their pipe, and we’ll never walk over the Shakespeare Bridge [in Franklin Hills] without checking that cache for new treasures.”

There are a few geocaching apps available, and we use Geocaching from Groundspeak Inc., which is affiliated with Geocaching.com. To get started, simply download the free app (there’s a subscription fee for the advanced version), create an account and click on “Map” to see caches hidden in your immediate area. You might be surprised how close to home you can discover hidden treasures. Listings include difficulty level, terrain and size of the container. There’s also generally a bit of background info about the location and an invaluable hint.

If you still can’t find the cache after reading the hint, peruse the comments and photos left by other geocachers for additional help.

In lieu of a smartphone, you can use a simple GPS device (a good option in patchy service areas). Search by city on Geocaching.com for listings with GPS coordinates. Filter the results for the easiest finds or look for the green icon, which indicates a beginner cache. It’s a good idea to check Geocaching.com to make sure a cache is still active—or simply look for recent activity in the app listing.

This cache was found in the Los Angeles Aqueduct Centennial Garden. Caches that contain prizes generally contain items such as stickers, plastic toys or other party-favor swag. PHOTO BY MELISSA GAGE

The rules are simple:

Take a treasure, leave a treasure.
Be discreet.
Always place the cache back exactly where you found it.

Full disclosure for little ones with big expectations: Not all caches contain prizes. Some containers are simply too small to hold anything other than a tiny paper log (caches can be a film canister or even a faux wad of chewing gum), so take note if the cache is listed as “micro.” Bigger containers generally mean treasures. Think stickers, plastic bugs, party favor swag and piñata loot. (This is also a great way to get rid of your own surplus of such items.)

Finn has logged about a dozen caches. A pirate enthusiast, he’s a huge fan of the modern-day treasure hunt. “I like to hunt for them, count the numbers, find clues and try to get toys out of them,” he says. “And if they don’t have toys, then I can just sign my name. I like to read the tiny books inside.” Finn’s favorite treasure? A tiny flag with a hamburger on it.

Bonus treasures

Finn Pennekamp and his dad, Kyle, score treasure on one of the many staircases in Silver Lake. PHOTO BY GINNY PENNEKAMP

Geocaching is more about exploration and outdoor fun – from your own back yard to an unknown corner of Los Angeles – than treasure. It’s also a great way to get kids off the couch and out into the world. “The best thing for us is on days when we need to go out but can’t think of anything to do,” says Pennekamp. “We pick a geocache, go after it and end up learning a lot about an entirely new neighborhood we’d never go to otherwise.”

Beyond the obvious fun factor, geocaching is also an immersive hands-on learning experience. Kids learn about navigation and develop their creative thinking and problem-solving skills. Geocaching has even found its way into the curriculum of many LAUSD schools. At the Wright Middle School STEAM Magnet in Westchester, the annual GeoFest has become an anticipated event for eighth graders.

Developed by eighth-grade math teacher Jessica Broussard and Jeff Nielsen, who is now assistant principal at Casimir Middle School in Torrance, the event aims to build bridges between school and family. Students map out their five favorite places on campus in a geocaching hunt for their parents or guardians to complete. The exercise introduces concepts such as the distance formula and Pythagorean theorem, and opens up dialogue with parents as students explain why they selected each particular spot.

“The big advantage of this project is that we pull from the students’ lives and interests to really answer the question: When will I ever use math? Why is this important?” says Broussard. “Listening to students talk about how it was the best day of school ever makes all the planning worth it. Students think they’re just having a great time running through a scavenger hunt, but teachers see collaboration, critical thinking, ingenuity, troubleshooting and responsibility.”

From wee hamburger flags to the Pythagorean theorem, the joys of geocaching run the gamut. Most importantly, it’s a lot of fun for the whole family. All you need to get started is a smartphone and a sense of adventure.

5 Fun Caches for Kids

Here are a few fun caches to get you started. The codes in parenthesis are the geocache numbers associated with each location on Geocaching.com and will help you locate each cache in the app.

Travel Town (GCXJEP): Hidden in Griffith Park’s beloved free train museum, this cache will get you up close and personal with a dining car.
The Daily Prophet (GC1EE7Q): Calling all Harry Potter fans: This one’s for you. Time it right and you can even get a bonus cache at this Burbank spot.
Dinosaur Train Tyrannosaurus Cache – Jim Henson Co. (GC273QV): One of a series of Dinosaur Train-themed geocaches placed around the country by the Jim Henson Company.
I <3 Biker Trash (GC2TVGQ): Gear up for a clever Glendale hide the kids will love, with plenty of treasures to choose from.
That Black Gooey Smelly Stuff (GC23J41): Spend some time exploring the La Brea Tar Pits after finding this small, well-camouflaged cache.

Geocaching Lingo

Muggle: In Harry Potter, a muggle is a non-magical person. Here, it’s a non-geocacher. Always be discreet around muggles when geocaching.

Trackable: A tag that’s attached to an item, which you can track on geocaching.com as it’s moved from cache to cache.

Hitchhiker: The item or treasure that a trackable is attached to.

Travel Bug: A trackable with a specific mission set by its owner. Possible missions include “Visit every state,” or “Travel from coast to coast.”

Geocoin: A trackable akin to a travel bug. They’re often personalized and used as a geocaching calling card.

Melissa Gage has been a Los Angeles-based freelance writer for more than 15 years, and the mother of her son for four.

Gearing Up For Summer Camp

Published May 18, 2017

By Christina Elston

Dress your camper for a variety of activities, with clothes that are comfortable for summer weather. PHOTO COURTESY CALI CAMP

You have researched. You have visited. You have interviewed camp directors, fellow parents and friends. You have involved your children and you have found an excellent summer camp or camps for the kids to enjoy this summer. (And if you haven’t, know that crunch time is here and visit LAParent.com/camp to read up on all these things.)

With less than a month to go until the schools release your children for summer adventure, it is time to gear up. Fortunately, some savvy local camp directors have weighed in to help me cover the basics of what you’ll need in hand before that first day.

On the Right Foot

Starting at the bottom, the right shoes are a camp essential. Safety should be your first concern. “Shoes should be a good pair of athletic shoes that can be worn for a variety of activities, such as running, hiking, kicking balls, climbing mountains, etc.,” says Kassandra Wilsey, mom of three and director of Cali Camp in Topanga. The camp welcomes ages 3-15 from June 12-Aug. 11 this year and hosts all of these activities plus creative arts.

Despite the summer heat, avoid open-toed shoes and put your child in thin socks made of breathable fabric to help keep feet cool and dry. If you must send your child in sandals, Summer Art Academy Director Elizabeth Paravicini suggests packing tennis shoes for extra protection during activities such as fencing, woodworking or cooking. And Christina Conte, theater/yoga teacher at Yoga House in Pasadena, suggests a pair of flip-flops for the car ride at the end of a long camp day.

“The worst thing I’ve seen at camp is when parents send their kids in high heels or Crocs,” says Cheryl Appleman, founder and president of Performing Arts Workshop in Marina del Rey. If your child is fashion conscious, she advises finding a flat shoe with style.

Consider this recommendation from Camp Coordinator Morgan Pladys of Lycee International de Los Angeles: “During last year’s camp, we noticed that Native brand shoes were a big parent and camper favorite. Rubber, washable, breathable, sturdy and fashionable!”

Clothes Make the Camper

Next up: clothes. “The key here is to go for layers,” says Conte. “Mornings are cool, so provide sweatshirts and stretchy pants. Down vests are easily put into backpacks as the day heats up. Think of cotton because it’s easily washable and comfortable during a day of movement and play. Extra socks are nice just in case sand or water are involved in the activity.”

At Summer Art Academy, which offers a variety of camps for ages 5-16 at several Southern California locations, students work with paint and other materials and have water activities. Paravicini advises sending campers in clothes they don’t mind getting dirty. That includes an extra shirt for painting, swimsuits or clothes for water play and a bag for wet clothes. “Ziploc bags work amazingly well, because we can write the camper’s name on it and it’s easy to see,” Paravicini says.

Having all your child’s camp gear in order means she or he can focus on having fun. PHOTO COURTESY PERFORMING ARTS WORKSHOP

Summer Art Academy also does overnights, and Paravicini reminds parents to pack extra underwear in case of accidents. “To be extra organized for the younger kids, pack their clothes in gallon-size zip-lock bags,” she says, adding that you can mark each day (Day 1, Day 2) with a Sharpie so that kids don’t have to shuffle through their whole suitcase to get dressed. She also recommends checking with camp directors about limits to how much luggage a camper can bring.

Wilsey reminds parents that jeans and sweaters can often be worn more than once. “But don’t fret,” she adds. “Some kids will go their whole camp week in the same clothes!” The exception is bathing suits. Pack two so your child always has a dry suit ready.

Fend Off Snack Attacks

If your child will attend day camp, you’ll likely be asked to provide a daily lunch – and a snack. There are four important things to consider here.

First, consider your child’s appetite. “I can’t tell you how often parents don’t pack enough food,” says Appleman. “Kids need to be fueled for the whole day.” If your child is eating her lunch at snack time or skipping snack to save enough food for lunch, she is going to be hungry – and not having as much fun. “Kids exert a lot more energy at camp than at school,” Wilsey explains, “so they most likely will need more calories than they do during the school year.”

Second, make sure the food is packed right. Send food that does not require refrigeration or choose a lunch box that is properly insulated and include ice packs to keep things cold. Also consider the unpacking. “Think about what containers you use that your camper can open themselves,” Wilsey advises. “Obviously, adults will be around to help kids out, but it’s a nice thing when campers are able to eat all their food without a lot of adult help.”

Third, know your camp’s policy about food allergies. Many camps either have peanut-free lunch tables or require all lunches and snacks to be nut-free. Start searching now for food items that can fill in for things you have to eliminate.

Finally, don’t forget the water. “We ask that every parent send their camper with a refillable water bottle because hydration during summer is so important,” Paravicini says. Even if the camp has water fountains, it’s a nice touch that will ensure your child drinks more often.

Medication Situations

Clothes that let your child move mean she can focus on the fun. PHOTO COURTESY CALI CAMP

If your child takes medication or needs an asthma inhaler, EpiPen or other supplies ready for emergencies, know your camp’s policy. Appleman recommends filling out required paperwork and bringing permission letters from you or your doctor as needed, but also coming to camp early the first day to talk to camp staff about the situation.

“Also, be sure to let the camp know when you would like to be notified in case of your child needing medical attention,” says Wilsey. “For my son with asthma, I do not need a call home every time he needs to use his inhaler, but if he has an attack that leads to him using his nebulizer, I like to be notified.”

Be Ready to Play

Get a list of gear your child will need for camp activities and have it all ready before camp starts. If something is missing, “it kind of ruins their first day, and that first day is so important,” Appleman says. “It sets the tone for the rest of camp.”

If your child is trying an activity for the first time, don’t go all-out until you are sure they will stick with it. Conte advises checking REI for high-quality items and Target for reasonably priced options. Wilsey suggests shopping second-hand stores, Goodwill, Play It Again Sports and even trading sites online. “For my three kids in sports, I always do well just posting to social media and asking friends and family if they have any old or extra equipment around that my kids can have or borrow,” she says.

Can Teddy Come to Camp?

One thing that isn’t likely to be on your camp’s list of suggested gear is your child’s transitional object. Whether you allow your child to bring a special item such as a teddy bear or blanket is up to you, and opinions from camp directors are mixed.

Conte advises that parents only allow kids to bring special items to camp if a child really needs them in order to feel safe. “It is best for the child to let go of what they have known so they can be open to the new experiences camp provides and be able to absorb the various activities and make new friends,” she says. At Yoga House, which offers Theatre/Yoga Camp for ages 6-12 from July 10-28 this summer, campers will want to be able to move around. “In arts and sports, children need to be free,” Conte says. “Holding a ‘security blanket’ may impede them from a full day of engagement.”

If you don’t think your child will make it through the day without their special item, chat with camp staff about that ahead of time. “Sometimes campers can be persuaded to let their special toy just join them in the car, or set up a special ‘camp’ at home for the special toy that the child gets to place the toy in before they leave,” says Wilsey.

If the toy makes it all the way to camp, giving staff advance warning means they can make sure the object doesn’t get lost. “Last summer I had a few campers who brought their little stuffed animal or doll to camp and it was something that comforted them,” says Paravicini. “We all knew the animals’ and dolls’ names and stories and whenever we found them left behind at the game table or in the yard, we took them back to the campers.” Knowing about the transitional object in advance also alerts staff to offer extra support to help the child make friends and feel comfortable at camp. “Usually after the first week or two we don’t see that stuffed animal or doll again,” says Paravicini.

Hold the Phone!

Many kids cling to their smartphones and other handheld electronics so tightly, the devices might be mistaken for transitional objects. But the role these objects should have at camp is limited.

The first concern is that these devices can easily be damaged or lost. “If you are going to send your camper with an electronic device, consider sending that old phone or tablet that you have just sitting in the drawer, so that it’s not devastating if something does happen to it,” suggests Wilsey.

Leave electronics in the backpack – or, better yet, at home – so your camper can be fully present. PHOTO COURTESY YOGA HOUSE

Devices also distract from camp activities. “They impede interpersonal opportunities and focusing on the task at hand,” says Conte. “The experience of being present and free is the central theme of being part of any camp.”

At Performing Arts Workshops, where ages 5-15 can enjoy a variety of musical, film and stage camps at various locations throughout the summer, the policy is for campers to keep phones in their backpacks until day’s end. “Parents want to be able to reach out to their child,” says Appleman, but this can backfire if a child calls the parent in a moment of homesickness or during a spat with a friend. “I’ve had parents rush to the facility only to find their kid happy again because everything has worked itself out.”

Summer Art Academy has made exceptions where campers chatted with parents who were overseas on business in the camp office during break time. The phone stayed in the office until it was time to go home. Camp staff help ensure parents don’t miss special moments while their kids are phone-free. “Our directors do have cells, and if a camper wants to send a picture to their parent of a cool activity they’re doing, we’ll snap it with our phone and send it to them,” Paravicini says.

The Name Game

Anything you send to camp with your child should be marked prominently with your child’s name – and not just the first name. “You should see the amount of sweaters I have with just the name Emily or Josh written on them!” says Wilsey. Include your child’s last name, and even camp team or group name if there is one.

Clothing items are lost the most. “Southern California summer mornings start off chilly, so most campers come with sweaters or jackets,” says Pladys. “By recess, they have been taken off and set down somewhere on campus.” Ecole du Soleil Summer Camp offers five weeklong sessions of French and fun for campers in pre-K to Grade 5 on that Los Angeles campus. Pladys says lunch boxes, hats, water bottles, backpacks and sunscreen are more likely to arrive labeled, “and it does help a lot.”

Dressing your child right, gathering all necessary gear and marking everything clearly can help in so many ways. It makes things easier for camp staff, allowing them to focus on supervising activities and fostering fun. And it makes things easier for your child, allowing her or him to focus on those summer activities that will turn into fun memories in the fall.

Christina Elston is Editor of L.A. Parent.

Work-From-Home Tips for L.A. Moms

Published May 14, 2017

By Carley Knobloch

Working from home is no longer a novelty, especially for L.A. moms. Make the most of your time with these tips.

In just a few short years, working from home went from a novelty to a bona fide, mainstream way of life. These days, nearly one in four Americans does part or all of their work from home, according to the U.S. Department of Labor’s Bureau of Labor Statistics, and that number is expected to rise.

Working remotely saves on commute time and costs, boosts morale and can offer flexibility – to parents in particular – but it’s not without its challenges. What denizen of the home office hasn’t had an important conference call interrupted while a wailing toddler bangs on the door, or been lured to the fridge when we should be finishing a project?

Here are some ways of the best ways to stay productive – and sane – when clocking in means going down the hall.

A Desk of Your Own

You work from a separate wing of your home, right? Just kidding! Most of us aren’t that lucky. Best case scenario for productivity is a room that is a full-time, designated home office, but a guest room can do double duty. If you’re sharing space, look for furniture that offers lots of storage but isn’t too bulky. You want to be able to hide your work clutter when guests arrive, not tuck them among hulking office furniture that makes it feel like they’re rooming in Aisle 6 of an office supply store.

“Pieces of furniture referred to as writing desks tend to be less bulky and not feel so heavy, so start your search there,” suggests Samantha Williams, the principal designer at Pasadena-based Ederra Design Studio.

You probably don’t need a bunch of filing cabinets, either. I’m a big fan of living as paper-free as possible with the help of a desktop scanner. Fujitsu ScanSnap and Doxie make great ones. Once you scan a document, upload the contents to a cloud service such as Evernote or Dropbox, then shred or recycle the paper. You’ll keep your physical storage needs at a minimum, keeping your workspace from closing in on you.

The color in the office will affect your productivity and mood, so choose carefully. If it’s soothing vibes you’re after, focus on cooler colors such as blue. Green and white are associated with creativity and innovation, while orange boosts enthusiasm. Red is an energizing color, a good choice for people working in sales or other professions that call for negotiation. Watch out, though, because painting the walls red can also boost your appetite – and that refrigerator is just down the hall. Grey is a neutral that can be soothing, but I imagine many of us would prefer to leave it back in the workplace we abandoned for a more “colorful” work-at-home life.

Streamline to a few colors to avoid rainbow overload, and if you’re painting, opt for low- or zero-VOC (volatile organic compound) paint to keep the home-office environment healthy. For even better air quality, add a bromeliad, dracaena or spider plant. A recent study at the State University of New York at Oswego found that these houseplants suck pollution out of a room, and that means better brain efficiency.

What to do if your living room doubles as your C-suite? Try a desk backed up against the sofa, suggests Williams. “Sofa tables and desks are typically the same height, so it’s a creative way to camouflage the desk as regular living room furniture, provided you avoid selecting something too deep.”

Even a humble closet can be tricked out into a “cloffice,” using the wall space for shelving. If at all possible, avoid placing a desk in the bedroom, says Williams, as it’s a constant reminder of work stress and could alter your sleep patterns.

The fluorescent lights we left behind at the office were soul-crushing but did provide a brighter, clearer light to work by than typical residential lighting does. At home, having the right desk lamp can help you stay alert, see more clearly and avoid eye strain. A task lamp from OttLite mimics natural light to create a bright environment that helps you read fine print more clearly and see colors more accurately. (It’s great for crafting too, when your work is done.)

Other home office must-haves include a stylish compact wireless printer (such as the Canon Pixma TS5020) that can also copy and scan, and a pair of noise-cancelling headphones to block out doorbells, cat groans and other distractions.

Time (and Distraction) Mastery

Carley Knobloch’s work-from-home tips for L.A. moms come from experience. PHOTO COURTESY CARLEY KNOBLOCH

According to the book “The Organized Mind: Thinking Straight In the Age of Information Overload,” by McGill University neuroscientist and psychologist Daniel Levitin, list making literally makes you smarter. A list frees up the brain’s resources so you can focus on the important stuff, rather than, “What should I do next?”

You can go old-school with a paper list, or try an online task management app (my current favorites are Todoist and Asana). Either way, be sure to do the “high noon reckoning.” Check in with your to-do list at lunchtime and gauge what’s been done and what’s still left to accomplish.

“To manage my workload, I use Google Docs to keep a running to-do list for the different clients I write for,” says mom of one Elizabeth Hurchalla, a freelance writer and editor based in Santa Monica. She also uses Google Docs to share her copy with clients. “Since they’re updated in real time, clients and I can go back and forth on ideas or copy easily without being in the same place and without worrying about version control,” she says, adding that for personal scheduling she set up a shared Google family calendar. “That way, my husband and I both know when I have a meeting. We can both see when I’m not able to pick up our son or take him to a doctor’s appointment.”

Her seamless approach to time and client management is smart. According to a UC Irvine study, once interrupted, it takes the typical worker an average of 25 minutes to fully return to their original task. Alas, working from home provides a cornucopia of distractions, from the FedEx guy at the door to your preteen barging into the room with a tale of fifth grade intrigue.

With family, create strong boundaries so they’ll know what to expect. A closed door or set of noise-cancelling headphones, for example, means your workday is still in progress. End of story. If you’re willing to be available sometimes and not others, be clear about that, too. One mom I know uses an Elvis motto, “Taking Care of Business,” that’s embossed on a door hanger she got at Graceland. When she’s on an important work call, she hangs it on the door of her home office as a signal. She’s trained her kids to knock only if the curtains are on fire or someone is bleeding out. Be clear and consistent if you want your rules followed.

But what about the distractions you’re causing yourself? If checking Facebook or popping onto Pinterest is distracting you, put a tech lid on it. Programs such as Freedom (Mac, Windows, iOS) or FindFocus (Mac) keep you on task by blocking access to social media and email for designated chunks of time. Consider them digitally imposed willpower.

Speaking of email, how often are you popping into that inbox? Productivity expert Brian Tracy has advised reading and responding to email twice a day: once in the morning after you’ve been working for a few hours, and again after lunch. I can’t achieve that kind of discipline, but I try to get at least an hour’s worth of work done before I dive into my inbox. That way I’m making progress on tasks that are important to me before I begin fielding requests from the rest of the world.

If you have the vague, overall sense you could be more productive when working from home than you are, but you’re not sure what’s causing the drag, try an assessment tool such as RescueTime (Mac, Windows and Android). It tracks how you’re spending your day, lets you block distracting websites and sends you productivity reports. You can even set and measure goals using it.

When Does it End?

Of course, once in the zone, at-home workers can face the opposite problem and have trouble stopping at the end of the day. You don’t have any of those office visual cues (the cubicles being evacuated one by one). This is especially true for entrepreneurs, who often work into the wee hours trying to get their businesses off the ground. Here’s a tip: Set an alarm on your phone for half an hour before quitting time. It helps break the spell, signaling the transition back into family life.

And what about those “quick checks” of email after office hours? Resist! Most people don’t realize the sabotage that causes, according to the research of Maura Nevel Thomas, an expert in attention management. When someone “skips and skims” through email, they think they are not really engaging with work, but the work is still preying on their minds. And those emails need to be re-read when you’re actually ready to do the work, so you aren’t saving any time. It’s better to fully disengage when you’re done each day, so you can rest and be really to fully engage when you’re back at it the next.

Once I’m off duty, I want my family to know that they are my focus. If I get a call that’s very important, I excuse myself and let them know how soon I think I will be finished and I let the caller know (with the kids in earshot) that I’m with my family and don’t have too long to talk. This signals to my kids and myself that while boundaries can be flexible in certain situations, I don’t take lightly when they are broken. During family time I also keep smartphone use at a minimum, and I expect the same of them. Otherwise, we might be in the same room, but not truly together.

Done right, working from home means you can have a powerful career and still enjoy your down time, recharging your energy and spending time with your family. I hope the tips I’ve shared allow you to do just that. Now get back to work!

Carley Knobloch is a digital lifestyle expert for HGTV and a regular contributor on the Today show. She resides in Los Angeles with her husband, two kids, springer spaniel and myriad smartphones.

A Cookbook With Lots to Love

Published May 13, 2017

By Elena Epstein

“Love Real Food,” by Kathryne Taylor, is a vegetarian cookbook that’s all about simple, flavorful and wholesome cooking. Taylor is the creator of the popular vegetarian blog, Cookie + Kate. In her debut cookbook, she brings us her 100 feel-good favorites.

The book is a visual delight, with gorgeous photos of Taylor’s food creations and sweet cameos from her adorable and crumb catching dog, Cookie. Throughout the book, Taylor offers adaptations for special diets, plus cooking tips and flavor boosters.

The book is divided into seven chapters and recipes range from morning favorites such as fluffy cinnamon-oat pancakes and trail mix granola bites to a variety of salads such as Thai mango slaw and arugula and wild rice salad. The soup chapter includes lentil minestrone and creamy roasted cauliflower and main dishes include quinoa-stuffed sweet potatoes and burrito bowls. There is even a fun Happy Hour section with appetizers, snacks and cocktails such as fresh sesame soba spring rolls with peanut dipping sauce, hibiscus pink lemonade and strawberry rose sangria.

Pre-order the book, coming May 16, at Love Real Food.

Roasted Strawberry, Basil, and Goat Cheese Crostini from “Love Real Food”

If you haven’t experienced roasted strawberries yet, you’ve been missing out—they’re sweet and jammy, like the inside of a strawberry pie. Roasted strawberries collide with tangy goat cheese and fresh basil to create this simple and sophisticated summertime appetizer. You could also serve these with a big green salad for a light summer meal.

Makes about 2 dozen crostini

4 to 5 ounces goat cheese

1 pound strawberries, hulled and cut into bite-size pieces

2 tablespoons honey

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

1 whole-grain baguette or small loaf of crusty whole-grain bread (about 14 ounces), cut into ½-inch slices

Small handful of fresh basil leaves, torn into little pieces

Freshly ground black pepper

Tip: If you don’t love goat cheese, alternatives include mascarpone, cream cheese, or ricotta.

Preheat the oven to 350°F with racks in the middle and upper third of the oven. Line two large, rimmed baking sheets with parchment paper for easier cleanup. Set the goat cheese on the counter to soften up a bit.

On one baking sheet, toss the strawberries with the honey, then spread the strawberries into a single layer. Bake on the upper rack until the fruit is tender, juicy, and collapsing on itself, 20 to 25 minutes, tossing halfway. Watch the fruit on the edges of the pan, as the honey can burn quickly.

Meanwhile, on the remaining baking sheet, brush the olive oil lightly over both sides of each slice of bread. Bake on the middle rack until the toasts are golden on top, 10 to 12 minutes.

Once the toasts are cool enough to safely handle, top each one with a smear of goat cheese, followed by a spoonful of roasted strawberries and their juices. Finish off the crostini with a sprinkling of torn basil and black pepper. Crostini are best served immediately.

How to Spot a Developmentally Appropriate Preschool

Published May 12, 2017

By Susan Rudich, M.Ed

Preschoolers are sensory learners and get the biggest benefit from hands-on activities. PHOTO BY ANISSA THOMOPSON/FREEIMAGES.COM

It’s spring and if you have a young child, there’s a good chance that preschool is on your mind. If you want to find the right place for fall 2017, I recommend that you start your search now. Good schools fill up quickly!

There are plenty of things to consider when choosing a preschool. Clearly, proximity to home or work is a biggie as are cost, hours of operation and safety. But how do you know if a school will provide a positive environment that supports the natural curiosity of your young child?

If you tour a school, you will find yourself zipping through a series of classrooms while you size up the competition (the other parents on your tour), being wowed by art projects on display and trying to get an overall sense of the teachers and enrichment activities offered. But in your quest for a program that nurtures your child and creates a rich learning environment, the most important question is, “Is this program developmentally appropriate for young learners?”

Research on brain development tells us that preschool-age children take in and absorb information differently than their early-elementary-age counterparts do. Therefore, a quality preschool is not a watered-down kindergarten. Children in these early years are sensory learners and they reap the biggest benefits when provided with meaningful, hands-on activities.

As you tour schools this season, consider whether each school encourages:

Active learning through participation. (Are the children digging a moat or are they only looking at one in a book?)
Openness to varying ideas. (Are children welcome to express their thoughts without being told that answers are right or wrong?)
Time for collaboration. (Are children permitted to work in groups, as well as individually?)
Opportunities for developing friendships. (Is there time for free-choice play? Are children required to walk single-file and be quiet?)
Messy play. (Does the program offer plenty of time with sand, water and paint or are students expected to stay clean?)
Participation at each child’s own level. (Is each child valued and seen as capable of achieving tasks in their own time?)
(Are the children praised for taking a chance and trying something new?)
Time for thinking. (Are children given time to ponder and process what they have experienced?)
(Does the program show a willingness to change gears to study something that is of interest to the children?)

As you set out, I suggest that you take along a notepad, ask questions and don’t be afraid to schedule a second visit. For most children, preschool is their first time away from the immediate family circle. This is a big decision!

Susan Rudich, M.Ed, is the Director of The David Preschool, a science-based program located in Rancho Palos Verdes .

The Millennial Dad Takes on Alternative Transportation

Published May 11, 2017

By Isaac Parfrey

Millennial dad Isaac Parfrey enjoys local light rail with son Hank. PHOTO COURTESY ISAAC PARFREY

I am sitting with Hank in a Nippon Sharyo (which literally means Japanese vehicle) cab, model P865. This pantographed workhorse – a Los Angeles Metro train with a electric-current-collector on top – is here because of years of painstaking negotiations and political savvy, an effort by L.A. officials to create a more attractive cityscape while simultaneously curbing carbon emissions and alleviating traffic congestion.

I have fantasized about a train connecting the Westside and eastside since I was a lad. My dad and I often lamented the absurd Purple Line, the original Westside extension that will take you and your child all 13 miles from Downtown to Western Avenue. Now that I am a dad, the extension of the Expo Line makes this connection is a reality – especially for this 2-year-old sitting next to me.

Hank has been in a train phase since year 1. I’m excited, too, about the challenge of creating a perfect L.A. day without the ubiquitous personal car. We took an Uber (I’ll get to that later) to the Bundy/Expo Metro Station and headed east.

Could this be the end of the SUV-driving soccer mom/dad as we know it? I bounce this half-baked thought off Hank as I’m people-watching eco-commuters and trolley-fare dodgers. Another thought: Our baseball team has an appropriate name again! (In 1958, when the Dodgers moved from Brooklyn to Los Angeles, some of the Pacific Electric Red Car trolleys were still in operation, but those were gone by the late 1960s.)

We hop off at Exposition Park after a respectable 25-minute trip that yielded a nice survey of bitter Cheviot Hills residents, Culver City scenesters and barred South L.A. windows. Hank’s blue eyes have been growing wider by the mile and get wider still when he spots the flower gardens and playgrounds outside of the Natural History Museum. The flowers are looking healthy, as does the attendance. We visit the NHM’s Dinosaur Hall and the Space Shuttle Endeavor at the nearby California Science Center – perfect because I get a chance to tell Hank my Dinosaur-Astronaut theory. “That’s ridiculous!” he says.

It’s called a Kinko Sharyo, a P3010 to be exact, and it is the Gold Line carriage Hank and I ride – after a jaunt on the Red Line – as we continue our eastward excursion and head through Little Tokyo. That it is another Japanese import seems appropriate as we gaze on clusters of Asian markets and conveyer-belt sushi bars. But what is this working, convenient – dare I say, clean? – P3010 doing in the heart of L.A.?

As the haze breaks free on this early L.A. p.m., I do eventually recognize this as my hometown, not some quantum leap halfway around the world. The scenery cuts from sushi stops to hipster-gentry hangouts to the more recognizable potpourri of panaderias and strip-mall taquerias. I catch a glimpse of the lofty tower of Los Angeles County USC Medical Center and whisper to Hank, “You know, Dad was born over there.” He is just too excited and restless (and 2) to respond. Next I say, “When I was your age, this is where I lived. It’s called Boyle Heights.” He says, “That’s ridiculous!”

It kind of is, but I still plan on buying him a taco.

The Gold Line has been running for 14 years and has become an important part of the recent ascent of the once-invisible “Far East.” Something here on the eastside feels more like a city than a sprawling basin of neighborhoods.

Alternative transportation might very well become the norm one day, and my generation in particular shoulders the blame and credit. As rents and housing prices go up, perhaps more parents will ponder whether their personal automobiles are necessary. When I was growing up, just about every affluent kiddo’s parent had the prerequisite SUV. But times have changed. If you feel inclined to meet aspiring actors in L.A. while you drop your kids off at volleyball in an Uber, that’s a thing now. And If you prefer Lyft’s politics, there’s a car outside with a pink mustache waiting to take you and your kid to his drum lesson.

Lyft and Uber won’t take your babies without you, but UberX has a carseat option. Plus, the local startup HopSkipDrive is offering a kids-only rideshare service that connects fellow moms and nannies who somehow have time to take your squirt to taekwondo.

Hank and I retrace our steps after some tacos at Al & Bea’s Mexican Food and hop back on the Gold Line. Westward we go and transit to the Expo, the golden sun hitting our faces for 45 minutes. Our Uber-X is ordered. We climb in the back. Hank passes out, but not before I ask him, “Would you wanna take the train again?” He says, “No! That was ridiculous.”

Don’t worry, the future is still looking bright for public transportation.

Isaac Parfrey is a writer, composer and L.A. native who enjoys roaming Southern California with his wife, Kate, and sons, Hank and Leo. Follow him on Twitter @IsaacParfrey.

New L.A. Moms Share Their Joys and Challenges

Published May 9, 2017

By Christina Elston

Sara Hulan-Crestani cuddles baby Lily, who was born Dec. 20. PHOTO COURTESY SARA HULAN-CRESTANI

Around 12:30 a.m. on Dec. 20, Sara Hulan-Crestani was in bed and about to fall asleep, having just come in from an evening visiting friends. Her husband, John Crestani, had also gotten home not long before. Sara was pregnant and due in two weeks, so she and John were enjoying their last days before the responsibilities of parenthood set in.

Sara was ready for a good night’s rest, but before she could drift off, her water broke. The couple set out for Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center in Westwood, where both sets of soon-to-be grandparents joined them.

Things progressed, but slowly. There was some concern a C-section might be necessary. The doctor cleared the delivery room of everyone but Sara and John to do one final check – and found that Sara was ready to go. Lily Hulan-Crestani was born at 3:42 p.m. “Oh my god, I can’t believe this is happening,” John exclaimed as Sara cuddled Lily.

The BirthPlace Santa Monica offers a “golden hour,” where new families are given privacy immediately following delivery. “I thought that was the most magical thing about the delivery, just being with the baby and my husband and getting to share that space,” Sara told me from her mom’s home in Altadena. “It was just the three of us. And it went by so fast.”

If you’re a parent, you know that feeling of joy and amazement that takes hold after the birth of a child. And what fun to recapture it by meeting new moms! I spent the past several weeks talking with new mothers about pregnancy, birth and the joys and challenges of motherhood.

Nausea and excitement

Jessica Reed’s third child, daughter Olivia Marie, was born Jan. 3 at Huntington Memorial Hospital. PHOTO COURTESY HUNTINGTON MEMORIAL HOSPITAL

There are more than 130,000 babies born in L.A. County every year according to the California Department of Public Health. The conventional wisdom is that pregnant women are sick for the first few months, then enjoy a glorious middle trimester before becoming quite uncomfortable toward the end.

“Each of my pregnancies has been as exciting as the first,” says mom of three Jessica Reed, whose latest delivery was daughter Olivia Marie, born Jan. 3 at Huntington Memorial Hospital in Pasadena – which makes the county’s top 20 in number of babies delivered. Reed and I chatted by phone. “Knowing you are growing a tiny human is a really cool feeling,” she told me. “The best part about pregnancy was feeling the kicks and movement. The most challenging part was getting through the last couple months. It’s hard getting so big and still having to chase two young boys.”

“I was really nauseous at the beginning and really uncomfortable at the end, but the middle was great,” says Sam Schwarze, whose son Graham was born Jan. 9. I met Schwarze, Alyson Flack, Emily O’Connor, Rory Dorsey and several other moms at a class at A Mother’s Haven in Encino.

Flack, whose son Winter was born Feb. 1, found a silver lining throughout her nine months. “My pregnancy was awesome,” she says. “I’m an anxious person, and I was the most laid back I’ve ever been, I think because of the hormones.”

O’Connor, seated nearby, loved her pregnancy as well – but eventually was ready for it to be over. “He was five days late,” she says of son Callum, born Feb. 18, “so it was a little frustrating.” When labor did start and she arrived at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center – which records more births than any hospital in the county and welcomed more than 6,400 babies in 2014 – she wasn’t fully dilated. “I got to walk the halls for an hour and a bit,” she says.

A big adjustment

After the birth come other challenges. “The first month was just like a blur,” says Dorsey, whose son James was born Feb. 13. Her biggest adjustments so far have been to “not being able to do things” such as get her car washed and her nails done, and keeping up with James’ feeding schedule. But she says it is getting better every day.

Flack has experienced some feelings of isolation and a few bumps in the road as she transitions to being a parent. But things are improving for her as well. “I’m kind of adjusted to not sleeping,” she says. “I’m starting to feel like myself now.”

Teresa Chavez brings daughter Gia to a new-moms support group at Del Mar Birth Center in South Pasadena. PHOTO BY CHRISTINA ELSTON

Jordyn Siegel, whose son Mason was born in early February, says she is learning every day, and that her professional life as a radio host and writer don’t hold a candle to being a mom. “Nothing’s more challenging than this,” she says. The biggest challenge: “Learning that every hour of every day is for him and not for you.”

Parenting classes can help in a variety of ways. A Mother’s Haven runs an average of 10 Mothers’ Gathering classes at a time, and first-time moms can start coming when their babies are 4-6 weeks old. The classes are facilitated by expert instructors but also serve as a place where moms can bond and share. The Haven also offers other prenatal and support classes, sells baby gear and rents breast pumps.

I met another group of moms at Del Mar Birth Center in South Pasadena, which offers a drop-in support group for moms with babies ages 2 weeks to 6 months. The center also offers classes in breastfeeding, infant CPR and birth preparation, plus complete maternity care through delivery. An average of 15 babies are born there each month with the support of certified nurse midwives. You don’t have to deliver there, however, to take advantage of the support.

Dalyn Carbajal, whose daughter Lozen was born Nov. 2 at California Hospital Medical Center downtown, says she has faced many challenges – the biggest of which was trying to recover from her C-section while caring for and breastfeeding her newborn. She’s staying home with Lozen, and calls that a blessing and a challenge. “It can be exhausting at times, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything,” Carbajal says.

Teresa Chavez, whose daughter Gia Lorraine was born Feb. 16, says her biggest challenge is “second-guessing if I’m doing things correctly. Breastfeeding has probably been the most difficult.” She says she blamed herself when Gia was slow to gain weight at first. She delayed taking breastfeeding classes until after Gia was born, and now advises all moms to take them during pregnancy so they are prepared.

Aarti Mankad, whose son Shantanu was born Jan. 4, knew some of what to expect. She has a 12-year-old daughter. This second time around, she says she has slowed down to savor every moment. “Every stage has been really, really special,” Mankad says. “I’m really enjoying learning his language, how he communicates. When I stick my tongue out, he finds that hilarious.”

Giggles and grins

Wherever I met them, moms seemed to revel in those early exchanges with their babies. “Seeing her smile when she sees me or her dad [is my favorite],” says Carbajal about Lozen. “Her face lights up and she smiles really big.”

“He now is recognizing me and my husband and my parents,” Schwarze says about 3-month-old Graham.

Alyson Flack and son Winter attend a support group at A Mother’s Haven in Encino. PHOTO BY CHRISTINA ELSTON

O’Connor says one of her favorite things is seeing traces of her husband in her son. “He’s the spitting image of my husband,” she says with a laugh.

Cuteness also serves a purpose. “She can be challenging sometimes,” Hulan-Crestani says about Lily, “but it doesn’t bother me. You wake up at 3 a.m. and you think ohmygod I’m so tired. And then you see her face and you’re not so tired any more.”

Hulan-Crestani has found, like many of these moms, that tapping into the parenting community helps. She and Lily go to mommy-and-me classes at The Pump Station & Nurtury in Santa Monica, where discussions have touched on sleep, eating, teething and relationships, and they even go on field trips. “We all went with our strollers to the Santa Monica Farmers Market, and we did Mommy Movie Mondays at The Grove. We saw ‘Beauty and the Beast,’” she says.

A longtime yoga practitioner, she has also discovered Zooga Yoga in Culver City and FIT4MOM classes. “I’ve just been introducing myself to all the mommy things that are around L.A.,” Hulan-Crestani says. “You just find different things that fit in with your life.”

A little advice

To women approaching motherhood, Carbajal says, “Consider all possibilities and be flexible.” During her pregnancy, her focus was so squarely on the natural childbirth she had planned that she didn’t take in enough information about the C-section she eventually had. “I didn’t read about the emotions and healing and recovery,” she says.

Many moms mentioned support from family as essential. “I don’t know how people do it without their family,” says Hulan-Crestani, whose parents and in-laws pitched in to help her and her husband – even coming over as a group to watch Lily and send the couple on a date night. “They’re very supportive not only of Lily but of our relationship,” she says.

Even with all the help, Hulan-Crestani advises new moms to trust their instincts. “If I just listen to my gut, that’s what always worked,” she says. “Even if it’s scary and you feel like you don’t know, you really do know a lot more than you realize.”

Mankad echoes that sentiment. “I’ve learned raising my daughter that your child’s just an individual and you have to learn to embrace them for who they are,” she says. “That’s a daily meditation.”

Of all the moms I met, I’ve decided to give Erica Friedman, part of the group at A Mother’s Haven, the last word here. Her daughter Ilsa was born Jan. 29, and she perfectly sums up what most new moms seem to feel. “You don’t realize how much you can love someone until you have your own baby,” she says. “It’s worth it all, even the last month.”

Christina Elston is Editor of L.A. Parent.

Spring and Mold Are In the Air

Published May 7, 2017

By Christina Elston

Our winter of beautiful rain might have ended the drought and turned our hillsides green, but it also means an increase in pollen and mold. Both can cause breathing trouble and put children’s health at risk – especially for those with allergies.

“One of the biggest offending environment is carpet,” says Eli Nussbaum, M.D, professor of pediatrics and UC Irvine School of Medicine and medical director of the Pediatric Pulmonary and Cystic Fibrosis Centers at Miller Children’s & Women’s Hospital Long Beach. He calls carpet “one of the worst things you could have in your house” because it accumulates mold, fungus, pollen, dust and dust mites. Nussbaum says that if you can’t remove your carpeting, you should vacuum it regularly and have it professionally cleaned at least once a year. Vacuum your upholstery as well.

Dust and dust mites can also accumulate in bedding. Nussbaum recommends washing bedding at least twice a month and using hypoallergenic covers – which need not be expensive. You can get them at Target.

You should also clean out, clean and dry your refrigerator on a regular basis to keep mold from growing there, and keep an eye on your houseplants. If you notice a white or greenish substance accumulating on top of the soil, that is mold. To keep the humidity level low in your home and prevent mold from growing, use exhaust fans and open windows in the kitchen when you cook and the bathroom when you shower.

An even bigger problem could be mold inside your walls. “After a rainy season, in many homes water seeps behind the drywall,” Nussbaum says. Handle leaks immediately, and have your home checked for mold if you suspect this has happened.

Cleaning can help remove allergens from your home, but be careful which cleaners and laundry products you choose. Some have ingredients that can cause irritation; Nussbaum recommends reading warning labels on the packaging carefully. “Anything that can cause skin irritation, stay away from this,” he says.

Instead, look for products created to protect the environment because they will protect your family, too. Nussbaum mentions Simple Green and products from The Honest Co. as examples. “Those that are environmentally friendly will not cause harm to human beings,” he says. You can also create DIY cleaners with readily available household items such as baking soda, vinegar and borax. Vinegar is good for wiping down kitchen countertops, and baking soda is great for scrubbing.

Nussbaum points out that all homes contain some mold and other allergens, but a little work can ensure that your whole family breathes easier. “You cannot completely eradicate everything,” he says, “but you can at least minimize the impact.”

Huckleberry Chocolate Chunk Muffin Recipe

Published May 4, 2017

By Christina Elston

Zoe Nathan’s restaurants include Rustic Canyon, Sweet Rose Creamery, Huckleberry, Milo & Olive and Cassia. PHOTO BY EMILY HART ROTH

Zoe Nathan likes doing good. And the co-owner of the Rustic Canyon family of restaurants, author of the cookbook “Huckleberry” and mom of three does a lot of good baking. Her latest adventure, Gather For Good, began with a series of bake sales featuring Nathan and her celebrity baker pals.

At Bake & Gather events, the public is invited to mingle and purchase sweet treats to benefit causes such as the ACLU, ProPublica, Community Healing Gardens and Planned Parenthood.

“I want to get people out of their homes and away from their televisions and together,” Nathan says, adding that her goal is an “anti-political political movement.” She also wants to inspire people to host their own fundraising activities, and offers tools (and a list of upcoming Bake & Gather events) at www.andgatherforgood.com.

She also offers this tasty recipe, perfect for families to bake together. “I bake a lot, a lot, a lot with my kids,” says Nathan of 6-year-old Milo, 3-year-old Tallula and 18-month-old Felix. And it’s just like when kids learn to feed themselves. “It’s going to be really messy at first and imperfect, and you’re going to get food all over the place,” she says, “but let them do it and they’ll learn.”

You can mix these with a hand mixer if you don’t have a standing mixer (careful not to overmix!), and Nathan recommends Fat Uncle Farms almond flour, available at the Hollywood and Santa Monica farmers markets. “It’ll make your pastries a lot softer,” she says.

You can mix your batter and fill the muffin cups at night, wrap in plastic, refrigerate and bake in the morning.

Chocolate Chunk Muffins from Huckleberry

Makes 12 muffins

¾ cup/170 grams unsalted butter, at room temperature

¾ cup + 2 tablespoons/165 grams sugar, plus more for sprinkling

1 teaspoon kosher salt

2 eggs

1¼ cups/160 grams all-purpose flour

¼ cup/25 grams almond flour

1½ teaspoon baking powder

½ teaspoon baking soda

¾ cup plain whole yogurt

1½ teaspoon vanilla extract

2¼ cups/210 grams chopped dark chocolate, 60 to 70 percent cacao

Position a rack toward the top of your oven and preheat to 350°F. Line one 12-cup muffin pan with 12 paper liners.

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream the butter, sugar and salt on medium-high speed until nice and fluffy, 1 to 2 minutes. Incorporate the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Be sure to scrape the sides of the bowl well with each addition. Pause mixing. Add the all-purpose flour, almond flour, baking powder, baking soda, yogurt, vanilla and chocolate. Mix cautiously, just until incorporated.

Fill the muffin cups with batter all the way to the top, even a little over. Sprinkle the tops with a little sugar.

Bake for 22 to 25 minutes, until the muffins are brown and just spring back to the touch. Do not overbake!

These keep perfectly, tightly wrapped at room temperature, for up to three days.

Dina Kimmel Chats About Inclusive Play

Published May 3, 2017

By Elena Epstein

Dina Kimmel – with husband Tim, daughter Sophia and son Gabriel – created We Rock The Spectrum so her kids would have a sensory-safe place to play. PHOTO COURTESY DINA KIMMEL

Dina Kimmel has always been an entrepreneur. She launched two successful boutiques in North Hollywood in her 20s and 30s. But her business adventures turned personal when her son, Gabriel, was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder at age 2. With diagnosis came an overwhelming array of therapy appointments for Gabriel and the quest to preserve some sense of normalcy for her daughter, Sophia, who was 5 at the time.

Kimmel discovered that Gabriel was happiest during occupational therapy where he could swing and jump on a trampoline to help with his muscle development, coordination and sensory processing. So, she turned one room in her house into a sensory-safe play gym. Gabriel started sleeping better and had fewer tantrums. But something else happened that was equally wonderful: For the first time, Kimmel’s kids were playing together. The idea for We Rock the Spectrum Kid’s Gym For All Kids was born. The first gym opened in 2010 in Tarzana. There are now 62 We Rock the Spectrum locations in 22 states – all run by trained therapists or families of children with disabilities. And in 2016, the first sensory bus “We Rock on Wheels” was launched and the first international gym opened in Malaysia.

Tell us about the first couple of years after Gabriel’s diagnosis.

There was one day that I was at a local frozen yogurt shop with both my kids. Gabriel had a major tantrum and suddenly every eye in that store was on us. Afterwards, my 5-year-old daughter says to me, “I wish I had autism. Gabriel gets all your attention.” That was the loneliest time of my life. My husband and I were in therapy to balance our relationship, my daughter felt neglected, I wondered if I was doing everything I could for Gabriel and I felt like I was apologizing everywhere I went.

What was the initial thought behind We Rock the Spectrum?

Our motto is, “Finally a place where you never have to say I’m sorry!” Turning that one room in our house into a play gym changed our lives. For the first time, my son and my daughter’s friends were all playing at our house and it was so beautiful to see a group of kids playing together and not knowing which one is on the spectrum. I just thought there have to be other parents like us out there. Our goal is not only to have a safe place to have fun with your child, but also to build a community and a support system for families.

How did you come up with the name?

My husband is a musician and we said to ourselves, “We’re going to rock this diagnosis.”

What do you say to moms of newly diagnosed kids?

You are not alone. Don’t stay in your house. Seek out other families and the help you need. You need to be your child’s voice, and early intervention is everything. Start today. There is no time to be scared. Get out there and get your child what he needs, and don’t underestimate what your child can do. Gabriel has surpassed everyone’s expectations. Always keep your focus on what your child can do.

Are you a different mom today than you were before Gabriel’s diagnosis?

Absolutely. I’m so much more patient. I watch more, I listen better. I see every day as a gift and live in the now. As moms, we always feel like we can make everything right. But I have learned that this is my son’s journey. I will always be beside him and provide all the resources and tools he needs, but I cannot walk this journey for him.

Learning About Rancho History – and Service Dogs!

Published April 28, 2017

By Christina Elston

Volunteer Marcia Harris, in costume as Fannie Bixby, takes a break with her service dog in training. PHOTO COURTESY MARCIA HARRIS

If your family is headed to one of the monthly Creation Station art workshops or other family events at Rancho Los Cerritos (4600 Virginia Rd., Long Beach; www.rancholoscerritos.org), keep an eye out for Marcia Harris and her canine companion. A longtime volunteer at the rancho, Harris also raises service dogs.

Harris began volunteering at the rancho, an historic adobe house and surrounding property dedicated to inspiring curiosity about the past, in 1969, while she was still a college student. Eventually she also devoted time to puppy sitting for people raising service dogs.

In 2010, she took on the responsibility of raising a dog for Guide Dogs of America and thought she would have to give up her work at Rancho Los Cerritos because guide-dog raising is a full-time responsibility. But the volunteer coordinator had other ideas. “Why don’t you just bring the puppy?” she asked. Dogs aren’t normally allowed at the rancho, but guide dogs (and those in training) are an exception.

“The first time we went there, [the puppy] saw a squirrel and jumped out of my arms,” Harris says. But Harris has been bringing her dogs there ever since and spending time at the Rancho has turned out to be a good thing for the dogs, exposing them to lots of sights, sounds, smells and people. “All my puppies pass the test of steep steps,” says Harris, because of the many steep steps they must traverse in the adobe house. Her dogs get used to the costumed characters who populate rancho events and her current dog, Aragon, has even learned not to chase the croquet balls during play on the rancho lawn.

Harris and her dogs also serve as ambassadors of sorts. The kids and parents who visit while she is volunteering get to see the dogs and ask questions. When she works the rancho’s Creation Station events, some of the kids have learned that when the dog’s vest comes off, he can play. “I want them to understand about guide dogs, so I do a lot of talking to them about that,” she says.

And Harris says the dogs make great volunteers. “My puppies are the only ones that never complain about the heat,” she explains.

She now raises pups for Guide Dogs for the Blind, which requires the highest level of training, and Aragon is her fourth. “I was only going to do one originally,” Harris says. “It’s kind of addictive.”

Learn more about Rancho Los Cerritos and upcoming family events at www.rancholoscerritos.org.

Safe and Sensitive Sunscreen

Published April 26, 2017

By Christina Elston

Sunscreens with physical blockers such as zinc oxide are safer for sensitive skin. PHOTO BY ALEKSANDER ZAGDANSKI/FREEDIGITALIMAGES.COM

Sun protection is a year-round necessity in Southern California. But what if you have a child with sensitive skin or a teen battling acne? Dermatologist Paola Rodriguez, M.D., from Kaiser Permanente South Bay Medical Center, shares great options for every skin type.

How does sunscreen protect our skin?

There are a couple of different ways in which sunscreen can protect our skin. Physical sunscreen, which some people would call a sun block, is actually reflecting the UV light away from our skin. It uses particles like zinc oxide and titanium dioxide, and they bounce the light right off. A chemical sunscreen is going to filter the light. Those chemicals are absorbed into the skin and filter out the UV so it can’t get to our skin cells and cause damage to the DNA.

Does one kind of sunscreen protect better than the other?

The physical sunscreens tend to be a little bit better because they have a broader spectrum of activity. Physical sunscreens are pretty good at covering UVA and UVB, whereas chemical sunscreens are a little bit more narrow. If you look at the ingredients of a chemical sunscreen, you’ll see 2.5 percent of this one and 5 percent of that one. They’re trying to combine different chemical sunscreens so that ultimately we have broad-spectrum coverage.

Is one or the other gentler to the skin?

Physical sunscreen tends to be a little bit better for sensitive skin because it doesn’t have to be absorbed. It sits right on the surface. Some chemical sunscreens can cause irritation.

We have creams, lotions, gels, sticks and sprays. What are some of the pros and cons of these different types?

I normally tell my patients that the sunscreen that you will use is the sunscreen that I prefer. There are hundreds of different types. There are all these different vehicles that we can put sunscreen in, so there’s probably going to be one that you’re going to be able to tolerate. Pick something that you’re comfortable using on a regular basis.

If your skin is a little bit on the dry side, using a cream is no big deal. Sometimes people who have oilier skin, or who have acne-prone skin, are going to want to use something a little big more light weight. That would be a lotion. You can actually even get sunscreen protection in powder form now.

For kids who are running around and you can barely get them to sit still for a minute, sometimes the spray is the best way to get some sun protection on. They have some really cool sprays that you can spray onto wet skin. One of the downsides of using a spray is that making sure that the skin is being completely covered is a little bit trickier. But if you do that, it’ll be just as effective.

If you have a child who has really sensitive skin, what’s a good sunscreen plan for that child?

Babies under the age of 6 months, any kid who has sensitive skin, and even adults should really stick to sunblocks that have the physical sunscreen. So that’s zinc oxide and titanium dioxide only. You want it to be fragrance free and dye free and have as few extra ingredients and preservatives as possible. There are a lot of options out there. There’s a brand called Vanicream that has a whole line dedicated to sensitive skin. Blue Lizard is another really popular one.

What about for parents who have teens who are dealing with acne, and don’t want to put sunscreen on because it makes their face break out?

We deal with that commonly, and it’s really important because teens who are being treated for acne are generally put on treatments that might make their skin more susceptible to the sun. One of the really important things to look for is sunscreen that’s non-comedogenic, which means it doesn’t clog your pores. And someone who has acne-prone skin or oily skin is going to want an oil-free lotion. Cetaphil makes one that is called “Oil Control Moisturizer” and it’s an SPF 30. We use that a lot in teenagers we’re treating for acne. There’s also a brand called La Roche-Posay that has Ultra Light Sunscreen Fluid that comes out very, very light and dries with that matte feel. There’s a brand that can only be sold at physicians’ offices called EltaMD, and they have one that’s called UV Clear and it’s formulated for acne-prone skin.

How can people tell whether they’re applying enough sunscreen so that they’re protected?

It’s hard. When they do the testing in the labs to determine an SPF level, they’re putting on way more sunscreen than most people typically put on. So most of the time we’re not getting the SPF that’s on the bottle. They use two ounces to cover a whole body. Imagine filling a shot glass. If you’re out in a bathing suit, you’re going to want to do at least that much, and maybe even two of those.

How do you know when to reapply?

No matter what the SPF is, whether it’s 15 or 100, it should be reapplied every two to three hours. If you’re at the beach and you’re active and sweating or getting wet, probably every two hours is going to be safer.

How can parents help their kids build good sunscreen and sun protection habits?

Dermatologist Paola Rodriguez, M.D., works at Kaiser Permanente South Bay Medical Center

I think probably number one is modeling it. Put your sunscreen on. Make sure you’re doing a good job of taking care of your own skin. With the really little ones, just make it a habit. They know that if we’re going outside, that’s what we do. My daughter knows. There’s never been an option to not put it on, so I think that to her it’s normal. That’s just what we do. She’s only 4, so we’ll see when she’s a teenager if she’s still listening to me.

What’s your sunscreen routine like?

I use the EltaMD line as part of my daily routine, and I have smaller sunscreens that I keep in my car and in my purse. For example, I’ve been working inside all day but now I’m going to be driving for half an hour and I know sun can get through the windows, so I’ll have a little something that I can reapply to my face, the backs of my hands, my forearms.

I also spend a lot of time at the beach. My husband still plays beach volleyball professionally, so I have to worry about me and I have to worry about him and I have to worry about my daughter. When I am at the beach, I really like a brand called Coola, and we usually do a layering thing. We’ll all put on cream on the face and on the body, and when we get there do another touch-up with the spray, and try to reapply every two hours.

Dating for Young Adults With Disabilities

Published April 21, 2017

By Laura Riley

Finding one surefire approach to dating for people with disabilities is as difficult as nailing down one definition for disability. “People with disabilities are the biggest minority group in the United States,” says Trevor Finneman, a 32-year-old attorney with hearing loss. “There are so many different kinds of disabilities, and each one impacts each person differently.”

Dating can be awkward and challenging, if sometimes exciting, for anyone at any age. It can also be thoroughly uncomfortable for young adults to talk to their parents about dating – disability or not. Parents of teens and young adults with disabilities do, however, have a role to play in preparing them to enter the world of dating and relationships.

Parents can start by learning about the barriers teens and young adults with disabilities encounter as they seek out romantic relationships.

Dating Challenges

Dating challenges vary by age and disability. When Finneman, who has been married for three years, reflects on his dating days, he finds it difficult to separate any awkwardness created by his disability from the general pitfalls any teen or young adult would face. “I started dating around the same time as most people,” he says. “In high school, I ran with the popular crowd and I played sports. That helped. But on the flip side, I’m much shorter than normal, so that would cut against me. I can be awkward as far as personality, too, so it’s hard to know what was connected to hearing loss.” This is why Finneman believes it’s important to consider the whole person, not just their disability, when approaching dating.

For people with physical disabilities, however, Finneman thinks initial dating interactions can often be difficult because of a lack of self-confidence. “Disability and confidence – or lack thereof – can go hand in hand with dating insecurities,” he says.

Finneman feels fortunate to have gone to law school, which helped his self-esteem. Still, in his case, hearing loss makes certain social interactions more challenging. Engaging in conversation in loud restaurants and clubs, for example, can be difficult. When there is going to be intimacy, he wants a light on so he can get feedback on what his partner wants and feels comfortable with, but some people find that awkward.

Johnny Wang, a 31-year-old software engineer, also has a physical disability. He describes himself as a complete paraplegic who does not have any sensation in or control over his lower body. One challenge he faces in the dating world is an educational barrier. Wang estimates that at least 90 percent of the people he goes on dates with have not met a peer who uses a wheelchair.

When he was in his 20s, Wang explored online dating using two different approaches. He started by creating a profile that didn’t really disclose that he uses a wheelchair. If someone expressed interest in going out on a date, then he would bring it up and say, “If you’re open to it, great. If not, that’s fine.” He used this method for about two years before deciding to be upfront about his disability instead.

Johnny Wang is a 31-year-old software engineer who found he got the same number of dates when he disclosed the fact that he uses a wheelchair in his online-dating profiles as when he did not. PHOTO COURTESY JOHNNY WANG

He started “being open with the fact that I’m in my wheelchair, both in my photos and the profile bio itself,” he says. “I’ll usually include positive language like, ‘Don’t let the wheelchair stop you from saying hi.’’” When Wang shared the information about his disability on his profile, he found that he got roughly the same number of dates – not what he expected.

For people with developmental disabilities, dating challenges can be slightly different. In her book “The Science of Making Friends: Helping Socially Challenged Teens and Young Adults,” psychologist Elizabeth Laugeson, Psy.D., identifies three major categories of barriers to social success for these groups: a negative reputation among peers, an inability to find a source of friends and a lack of social motivation.

Laugeson works with clients who have autism spectrum disorder and other disorders that cause social difficulties. She founded and directs the PEERS Clinic at UCLA, where young adults who struggle socially because of developmental disabilities learn to create friendships and romantic relationships. The techniques Laugeson teaches are evidence-based and don’t rely on the elusive art of conversation – a struggle for most PEERS participants.

Natalia Hawe, who serves on the board of directors of the Foothill Autism Alliance, anticipates challenges when her 13-year-old daughter, Sophia, starts dating. Sophia is nonverbal and needs a high level of support. “How do I support her with severe communication delays? How do I facilitate her dating? Will I do it myself or get someone to support her dates?” Hawe asks herself and is still in the process of figuring out the answers, balancing her desire for Sophia to have independence but also get the support she needs.

Sources of Support

And there are local sources of support. Laugeson’s PEERS program includes 90-minute sessions where students with developmental disabilities learn a series of social “do’s and don’ts.” The program does not focus exclusively on dating but instead teaches behaviors that are naturally used by teens and young adults who are socially successful. “In other words,” Laugeson says, “we’re not teaching what we think young people should do in social situations but what actually works in reality.”

Psychologist Elizabeth Laugeson directs the PEERS clinic at UCLA and is dedicated to helping teens and young adults with developmental disabilities improve their social skills. PHOTO COURTESY ELIZABETH LAUGESON

PEERS also helps young adults avoid social errors that people with certain disabilities commonly make. Facilitators first demonstrate the error. Next, they show the correct way to approach the social situation in question. Finally, Laugeson and her team work to help young adults imagine being on the receiving end of the social error in question and have teens practice correct responses with a social coach (often a parent).

Hawe tries to stay ahead of her daughter’s developmental stages so that she has time to learn about them and to help facilitate smooth transitions in her life. Among Sophia’s middle school peers, Hawe has noticed some kids having boundary challenges and seen some sexualized behaviors. She has noticed teenage boys showing a desire to connect but not being given the tools to do so. She has also seen parents struggling to address this.

With this in mind, Hawe organized a workshop titled, “Dating, Intimacy, and Relationships,” held at Westmoreland Academy in Pasadena in February. It was divided into concurrent breakout sessions for young women, men and parents or caregivers. The goal was to help young people with developmental disabilities set appropriate personal boundaries and make informed, healthy decisions about their sexuality, and to give parents the confidence to support their child’s emotional and sexual development. Families can check www.foothillautism.org or the Foothill Autism Alliance Facebook page for upcoming workshops.

Finneman suggests that young adults starting to date explore private Facebook groups that connect people with disabilities. Because there is not much information out there about how to date with a disability, these can provide forums for exchanging information and tips. “Someone will write: ‘I just started dating and have X disability. Is there anyone I can speak with?’ Then they take the conversation offline,” Finneman says.

How Parents Can Help

Parents can best support their children on their way into the dating world by fostering a sense of belonging and confidence, keeping open lines of communication and helping them learn appropriate social skills.

“Just because you have them doesn’t mean you can teach them,” Laugeson cautions. For example, she explains that it is not helpful to tell someone with social-skills challenges to “go up and say hi” to someone they want to talk to. She acknowledges in her book that some teens and young adults might not be interested in hearing advice from parents, but informed social coaching from parents can help set teens up for dating success.

Trevor Finneman, who has hearing loss, has been married to his wife, Christine, for three years. He says lack of confidence among people with disabilities leads to dating insecurity. PHOTO COURTESY TREVOR FINNEMAN

Hawe sees parents’ role as reframing their own potentially limiting beliefs – including denial and fear –to have more open interactions with their children. Denial shows up in the often-incorrect conclusion that their children either are not interesting in dating or, if they are, wouldn’t understand how to go about it. Fear surfaces as resistance to teaching children about dating in case it spurs sexual curiosity.

Hawe also holds the view that it is better for parents to initiate difficult discussions about uncomfortable topics such as pornography and masturbation, rather than leaving their children to try to understand them on their own.

Wang prefers not to talk to his parents about dating. He suggests that parents ask children if they want to talk, but not be overbearing. Instead of forcing a conversation specifically on dating, he thinks general encouragement from parents is helpful not only in dating but in making friendships, getting jobs and dealing with people day-to-day. He believes parents can help foster positivity and facilitate confidence in their children, and that will go a long way.

“When I was a high school, I thought my situation sucked and I wished it wasn’t like this,” Wang says. His mom sent him to a summer camp for kids who use wheelchairs, and that – and some supportive able-bodied friends – helped him become more comfortable. “Most of my friends growing up were able-bodied people,” he says. “I never felt that different from them. My friends made me feel really included and it rarely became an issue. I think that sense of inclusion and understanding that I’m not different from other people helped a lot. I grew up to be really positive and optimistic, and that is the biggest factor in having people be OK with [my] wheelchair.”

Helpful Reading

“Teaching Children with Down Syndrome About Their Bodies, Boundaries, and Sexuality (Topics in Down Syndrome)” by Terri Couwenhoven: This book has served as Natalia Hawe’s go-to her guide to teaching Sophia about her changing body. It is written for people with Down syndrome, but can be helpful for parents of children with other disabilities as well. Other books by Couwenhoven include “The Girls’ Guide to Growing Up: Choices & Changes in the Tween Years,” “The Boys’ Guide to Growing Up: Choices & Changes in the Tween Years” and “Boyfriends and Girlfriends: A Guide to Dating for People with Disabilities.”

“Sex, Puberty and All that Stuff: A Guide to Growing Up” by Jacqui Bailey: This is Hawe’s recommendation for further reading on LGBTQ issues and topics such as abortion. It does not cover puberty with a disability lens, but fills in gaps that some of the disability-specific texts neglect.

“The Science of Making Friends: Helping Socially Challenged Teens and Young Adults,” by Elizabeth Laugeson, Psy.D.: This parent-friendly read on helping young adults with social challenges includes a DVD with social coaching exercises and tips. Laugeson also recently released the more technical “PEERS Curriculum for School-Based Professionals: Social Skills Training for Adolescents with Autism Spectrum Disorder,” for those wanting to learn more in-depth methods. Her Friendmaker app acts as a virtual social coach in the absence of a parent.

Laura Riley is a local social justice attorney and writer.

Questions to Ask During Your Summer Camp Search

Published April 20, 2017

By Christina Elston

The number of staff available to supervise campers is crucial, especially during activities such as swimming. PHOTO COURTESY RIVER WAY RANCH CAMP

As summer-camp-search season continues, it’s time to think about what you actually want to know about the camps you are considering for your kids so that you can ask the right questions when chatting with camp directors and staff.

“Over the years, I have encouraged parents to attend an open house and meet the director or owner [of the camp],” says Nancy Oken-Redfield, owner and executive director of River Way Ranch Camp, a resident camp in Sanger in operation for 50 years. “If that is not possible, then set up a time to speak on the phone.”

Here are questions Oken-Redfield and other local camp directors suggest you ask.

What training and experience do staff members have?

Oken-Redfield suggests parents ask specifically about the age range of the counselors, and says River Way Ranch requires CPR, first-aid and lifeguard training, plus special training in meeting campers’ individual needs and dealing with challenging behaviors.

Joy Meserve, chief program officer at iD Tech, which offers computer camps for kids and teens on several local university campuses, says staff quality is key. “How are they at engaging each child and looking out for their well-being?” she asks. “Not even the best camp can do well if their staff doesn’t care to put energy or passion toward engaging the students.”

Do you count counselors-in-training in the camper-to-staff ratio?

The camper-to-staff ratio is the average number of campers per staff member during the camp day. It is a measure of how closely supervised your child will be at camp. Meserve suggests this as a follow-up staffing question. Counselors-in-training can be as young as 12 at some camps, and won’t be as qualified as an actual counselor. In camps dedicated to specific activities, such as Hansen Dam Riding School in Sylmar, “the less experience a camper has, the lower the ratio of [campers to] instructors should be,” says Marnye Langer, who helps run the school.

Who would I call if I can’t sleep at night worried about my child?

What training do camp staff have, and how much energy and passion will they put into engaging your child? PHOTO COURTESY ID TECH CAMP

Even if your child isn’t going to a sleep-away camp, you should have a phone number for someone in charge who can address your questions and concerns, as well as a direct phone number for a person who is on site during camp hours. Be aware that these might be two different numbers and two different people.

How much time will my child spend doing the activity or activities they’re coming to camp for?

If this is a camp dedicated to theater, for instance, Evelyn Rudie, co-artistic director of Santa Monica Playhouse, which offers workshops for ages 4-17, suggests asking whether every child gets an equal opportunity to perform. “Do the students get to work on an actual stage? Are there outdoor as well as indoor spaces in which the activities take place?” she asks.

For a riding camp, questions Langer suggests include, “How much riding is there and what are the riding activities? What activities does the camp have regarding handling and working around horses?”

For activity-based camps, you want to know about participation, but also about other activities offered. For more traditional camps, ask about the full slate of activities – swimming, crafts, archery, etc. – and also how much of the day is devoted to each.

What do you do for campers who don’t seem to be having fun?

Does every child at camp get equal time in the spotlight, and an equal chance to participate in the fun? PHOTO COURTESY SANTA MONICA PLAYHOUSE

Langer says that some parents are so focused on camp activities that they forget to ask about the child’s experience. “Unless a kid is attending a camp where skill acquisition is the primary goal, say a basketball camp for high-school level players or a super-focused music camp, the experience and fun should be the goal for the child,” she says.

How does the camp handle homesickness? Bullying? Emergencies including injuries and natural disasters?

These questions suggested by Oken-Redfield point to a variety of situations directors and staff should plan for. Homesickness (or separation anxiety) can happen even at a day camp. Bullying is a too-common fact of life when groups of kids get together. Children engaged in fun outdoor activities or even just routine play sometimes get hurt, and we live in wildfire and earthquake country. If the director and staff can’t readily describe their plan – or, better yet, hand you a written policy – for dealing with these issues, that camp is no place for your child.

How many campers return year after year?

Another Oken-Redfield question points to a true hallmark of camp quality. If their child had a dynamite time at camp last summer, few busy parents will go searching for new options the following year. A camp that can point to lots of repeat business is doing something right.

How do you integrate new campers into the community?

Jaclyn Aranda, director of summer camp at The Buckley School in Sherman Oaks, suggests asking this question – which is especially relevant at camps where kids come back again and again. “All parents have different perspective and place focus on different items,” she says, but also reminds moms and dads to ask about the basic features such as transportation options, cancellation policy, financial aid and who provides lunch.

How do you think your camp is different from others?

If your child is considering a camp devoted to a specific activity, such as horseback riding, how much time will they spend at that activity? PHOTO BY LEG UP NEWS/HANSEN DAM RIDING SCHOOL

Another suggestion from Aranda could be a clincher. Camp directors and staff at a camp with a well-articulated mission should be able to tell you what makes their camp special and how attending it will benefit your child.

These certainly aren’t the only questions you might ask as you check out summer camps, but they are a good start. If you’re able to visit the camp site, you can look around and gather additional information.

Oken-Redfield says it is important to note whether the site is secure – on a fenced school campus or in its own facility – or somewhere such as a park or beach that is open to the public. Supervision is extra important in open locations. You also want the facility, wherever it is, to be clean and well maintained.

A camp visit is also a chance to meet camp staff, and Meserve suggests bringing your child along to see how well they draw her or him in. “Do staff engage with them right away, or only when asked? Is anyone carrying things for you? Asking if you have questions?” she says. You’re looking for friendliness, efficiency and a willingness to jump in and help.

As you look around and talk with the staff, take notes and jot down answers to your questions – and your child’s. This will help you compare camps you are considering, and guide you toward a decision for the summer.

Christina Elston is Editor of L.A. Parent.

Disability In L.A.’s Multicultural Melting Pot

Published April 19, 2017

By Evan Henerson

Japanese Taiko performers entertain during a celebration of the 20th anniversary of the Japanese Speaking Parents Association of Children with Challenges. PHOTO COURTESY JSPACC

Visit the website of any of the county’s seven regional centers and a drop-down tab offers a list of more than 100 languages – from Afrikaans to Zulu – to help families connect with opportunities, information and services for those with disabilities. In a county as large and diverse as ours, this is hardly surprising.

But if you don’t speak English and are new to this country, who informs you that this website even exists? Or suppose what you need most is the wisdom of someone who has walked your path, comes from the same background and can provide a sympathetic ear?

Most people turn to family for comfort and guidance, and in many cultures, the belief that it takes a village to raise a child very much applies. If that child has a disability, however, things can be a bit different. Ignorance can be passed from one generation to the next as easily as wisdom and family members are not always welcoming and helpful.

Cultural Stigma

“Disability is a tough thing in a culture,” says Sonia Konialian-Aller, Ph.D., a founding member of the Armenian Autism Outreach Project (AAOP). For 11 years, this all-volunteer nonprofit has been working to raise awareness about autism in the Armenian community. “Often the word ‘disease’ is used to identify it and it has a stigma,” says Konialian-Aller. “It has components of shame and guilt.”

Within the Armenian community, for example, members of extended family often live together or near each other. It would not be uncommon in an Armenian household, Konialian-Aller says, for a grandparent to chalk up a child’s non-typical developmental behavior as “boys will be boys” or to pooh-pooh the idea that the child needs medical or psychological assessment. If a child is diagnosed with a disability such as autism spectrum disorder, older generations might encourage the parents to hide it.

“Obviously, for anybody, it’s an issue, because family relations are very important in the culture, and when something happens that not everybody understands and gets on the same page about, it creates an additional burden for the parents,” Konialian-Aller says.

Cristina Macasaet put distance between herself and her Filipino family for just this reason. “I had to move away from my family in Fullerton because my family was kind of coddling my children and not letting them spread their wings and learn how to adapt and develop their skills,” she says. “Sometimes I find my family is kind of holding back that training and education that has to happen.”

“In Filipino families, we’re passive. We tend to be followers,” Macasaet adds. “In terms of helping special-needs children, especially children with autism, in the Philippines, we would tend to keep them hidden, and that’s more because of shame. Here in American culture, parents kind of hear about things available out there and they need that little push to empower them to go ahead and ask questions. It’s better to do that instead of going into the stages of grief when you get a diagnosis.”

Help Speaking Up

Members of the Japanese Speaking Parents Association of Children with Challenges participate in Nisei Week festivities. PHOTO COURTESY JSPACC

In a study published this year, UC Davis health economist J. Paul Leigh tracked the amount of money the California Department of Developmental Services spent on children with autism and found that white non-Hispanics get the most, followed closely by Asians. Hispanics were among the lowest funded ethnic groups. Data does not suggest that autism spectrum disorders occur more frequently within any specific ethnic group, but a parent’s ability or willingness to obtain service can vary greatly within cultures. Part of that, say parents, regional center administrators and advocates, can stem from a fear of speaking up and asking for help.

“Many families don’t speak English. That’s the real barrier,” says Francine Gomez who has an 18-year-old daughter with a disability. “Imagine when you have this fear, but you don’t speak English. How are you supposed to translate this feeling to another person and get the help you need? Parents are working two jobs and they have more than one kid. They don’t see what’s going on in the school and sometimes they forget about the kids with special needs.”

In areas with large minority concentrations, regional centers have taken steps to try to bridge the gap, hiring bilingual or multilingual resource specialists to do community outreach, serve as case managers and lead or organize parent support groups. Many of these specialists – including Macasaet, who now works at the San Gabriel/Pomona Regional Center – are also parents of children with disabilities. Macasaet frequently participates in SGPRC’s bi-monthly Filipino Parent Support Group.

Support Groups and Resources

Unable to find a support group for Japanese-speaking parents of children with disabilities, Mariko Magami founded her own. She is pictured here at the 2016 Asian and Pacific Islanders with Disabilities of California Statewide Conference. PHOTO COURTESY JSPACC

Support groups and other resources for families from Armenian, Filipino, Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese and other backgrounds are offered through most regional centers or affiliated family resource centers. The network of resources for Spanish-speaking families dealing with disabilities is particularly extensive, with every L.A. County Resource Center offering at least one Spanish-speaking or bilingual support group.

Many of these organizations have been operating for more than 10 years, and most are staffed by parents of children with disabilities who have first-hand experience with the challenges faced by the people who reach out for help.

“Doctors know medicine. Lawyers know the law. We believe that nobody understands a parent except another parent who has walked in the same shoes,” says Elena Sanchez, a resource specialist who facilitates a number of Spanish-speaking support groups through the San Gabriel/Pomona Regional Center. “When we get together and share ideas and successes, we can empower ourselves. Something that might not be good for me might be good for another parent.”

Many regional centers have made cultural sensitivity an institutional mandate. “Families with different languages and cultural experiences may have difficulty being able to relate to the kinds of services we offer,” says Nancy Spiegel, director of information and development at Harbor Regional Center (HRC). “There’s a challenge to communicating with them about their child’s needs and what services might be available to meet those needs and how to access them.”

HRC recently created a group for Cambodian and Japanese speakers, and in collaboration with the University Center of Excellence in Developmental Disabilities at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles, has launched support groups for families that speak Spanish, Korean, Vietnamese and Chinese.

Community Connections

In addition to providing education and resources, many support organizations offer child care during support-group meetings and organize family-friendly events build community for parents and their children.

Because her daughter had been born prematurely, Heywot Bitew was already familiar with regional-center services when, some seven years later, her 18-month-old son was diagnosed with autism. Teri Mulugeta, Bitew’s case worker at Westside Regional Center in Culver City, recommended the WRC’s Ethiopian Support Group. Mulugeta, like Bitew, is Ethiopian.

Members of the Westside Regional Center’s support group for Ethiopian parents gather at Walk Now for Autism Speaks. PHOTO COURTESY WESTSIDE REGIONAL CENTER

Bitew says she resisted attending the support group for two years but has been a regular for the past six, often bringing her daughter and son, both of whom enjoy the social aspect. Bitew says she attends less for the information she will receive than for the feeling of community. As the group’s children get older and reach new developmental milestones, parents share common experiences. “There’s something about being in a room with people you may not know at the beginning, but you feel the connection, talking in a language you understand, talking about the challenges,” Bitew says. “Everybody has busy lives, but for the one or two hours that we’re there, we feel that bond.”

In 1987, Mariko Magami’s daughter Erika was born with a chromosomal defect that is similar to Down syndrome, as well as cerebral palsy and a congenital heart defect. The Tokyo-born Magami had been in the U.S. for only a short time and spoke little English. Someone put her in touch with the regional center and she was able to get Erika some in-home developmental therapy. Magami also attended parent-education seminars and a nine-month advocacy training session for parents of children with developmental disabilities.

“My English was still limited,” Magami recalls. “There would be 30 parents in the same room at the same hotel, and many times I lost what the speaker was talking about. But still, even that 20 percent of the lecture I could understand benefitted me and was a great education for me.”

With a year of education and training under her belt, Magami sought out a support group for Japanese-speaking parents of children with special needs. When she couldn’t find one, she created one – the Japanese Speaking Parents Association of Children with Challenges (JSPACC). More than 20 years later, the JSPACC puts out a newsletter, holds monthly meetings and brings in guest speakers.

Asked about cultural stigmas associated with having a child with disabilities, Magami agrees they exist but says that the feeling is less prevalent among younger generations of parents. She recalls bringing Erika, then a teenager, back to Japan to attend her father-in-law’s funeral. Erika’s paternal aunt and grandmother asked Magami to keep Erika away from a ceremonial event and from the funeral itself.

Magami reluctantly agreed, but her husband was furious, and the incident turned into a shouting match.

“My husband apologized that they would look at Erika that way, and told me he was ashamed of his mother and sister,” Magami says. “That’s OK. Everybody’s values are different. We live here. They live in Tokyo where the values and perceptions of special needs are completely different. After I got back, I shared that story with close friends and they understood my emotional problem and at the same time, they understood Japanese culture and the older generation stigma and negativity for people with special needs. They understand both.”

Evan Henerson is a local journalist and contributor to L.A. Parent.

Understanding Middle School Mean Girls

Published April 17, 2017

By Kaumudi Marathe

Eleventh grader Natalie Hampton had always loved school. That changed in seventh grade, when fellow students at the private all-girls L.A. middle school she attended began cyber bullying and taunting her, even physically attacking her on four occasions. She almost always ate lunch alone and developed migraine headaches and gastritis.

It was a common case of “mean girls” at work.

Why do some girls become bullies around age 12 or 14? Does growing up in L.A., with its emphasis on looks and wealth, exacerbate the problem? Or maybe it is just biology.

Where it comes from

“By the time [girls] are in sixth grade, those hormones and the adolescent experience have taken over in earnest,” says L.A.-based author Anea Bogue, who specializes in life coaching for teen girls and their moms. “That’s when the process that psychiatrist Carl Jung called individuation begins. It essentially means becoming an individual. Both boys and girls are asking themselves: How do I fit into my little tribe, into the bigger tribe, and what do I need to do, be, act like in order to be an acceptable, attractive member of it?”

Psychologist Melissa J. Johnson, founder of The Institute for Girls’ Development in Pasadena, is often told by girls, parents and educators that things get trickier in third and fourth grade, with middle school being the toughest time for many girls. She adds that emotions are heightened during this time in a girl’s life, and that girls feel “profound and joyous connection and devastating betrayal and loss.”

Bogue doesn’t think L.A. is the mean-girl culprit, as long as parents don’t reinforce harmful attitudes about looks and money at home. “I raised both my daughters in L.A.,” says Bogue, “and I definitely had some trepidation along the way. It’s a bigger uphill climb to be a woman in this city since there is so much focus on appearance. But mean-girl behavior comes from a core feeling of not being good enough, which transcends physical appearance.”

Experts and parents think that self-esteem issues play a role in meanness among adolescent girls. Bogue says girls’ self-esteem peaks at age 9, and points out in her book “Nine Ways We are Screwing Up our Girls and How We Can Stop” that from that time forward, “the average girl will begin to expend an extraordinary amount of life energy wondering what is wrong with her and why she can’t be better, prettier, more popular and more ‘perfect’.” Girls then start to compete with each other in ugly, negative ways because they wrongly believe putting each other down is the way to stay popular and attractive.

Cognitive behavioral therapist Karen Cohen, LMFT, adds that bullying or mean behavior often comes from the need for power and control. She thinks both perpetrators and targets suffer from low self-esteem. “If the child feels helpless and powerless in the home because of family secrets – physical/verbal abuse, family violence etc. – they’re most likely internalizing it and display it in a safer place like school, where they become the perpetrators,” Cohen says. She adds that girls who are the targets of bullying might have learned to be passive and are unable to stand up for themselves or ask for help.

What it looks like

The result is bullying that can involve taunting and teasing, social isolation, destruction of property, threats, cyber bullying and physical violence.

I asked four recent middle school graduates, including my daughter, what a mean girl is like. They tell me that she:

Is generally part of the popular group in school
Is insecure about something in her own life
Lacks kindness and compassion
Gossips a lot
Creates wedges between friends
Targets those she feels are different from her or doesn’t understand
Bullies those she sees as weaker than her or those not inclined to fight back

Natalie Hampton’s experience bears this out. “My daughter is a really strong student – an alumna of the Mirman School – and her work was often held up by the teachers as the example to follow,” says her mother, Carolyn. “This enraged the bullies, and she was an easy target because she was among the youngest, petite, and the type of kid who would never fight back.”

Carolyn says Natalie’s middle school did not help tackle the problem. “We tried to arrange get-togethers with classmates to help [Natalie] make friends. We volunteered a lot at the school and tried to get to know the teachers and students. We urged the administration to have a class meeting to discuss what kind of behavior will and will not be tolerated, but we were completely shut down,” she says.

Natalie’s experience also included cyber bullying, which takes place on social media such as Facebook, Instagram and SnapChat, where accountability and even documentation are almost non-existent. Carolyn says she believes that social media make being a teenager a million times harder. “Rather than being bullied only on school grounds, you can be bullied 24/7, relentlessly and often anonymously,” she says. In Natalie’s case, the bullying didn’t end until she moved to a different school in ninth grade.

How to stop it

To prevent mean-girl situations, a parent’s first job is to avoid stereotypes. “We, as adults, need to be careful not to fall prey to stereotypes about girls and women that may actually add to the problems,” says Johnson. “The stereotype that girls are mean, catty, manipulative, bossy and can’t get along means that when difficult situations come up, we may be tempted to say, ‘See, girls are just so mean.’ In fact, this is inaccurate. Yes, girls are sometimes mean, as are boys. But that’s not the whole story.”

Equally problematic is the stereotype that girls should be nice and kind. “When girls take on the mantle of needing to be nice and kind all the time, they find themselves resorting to underground social aggression to deal with the normal feelings of anger and disappointment that arise in all human relationships,” Johnson says.

Parents need to model “clear, direct, assertive communication” to resolve friendship and colleague-related conflicts, showing girls an alternative to social aggression. “When we co-view films, the news, videos, or read books together, it opens the door for discussing how kids and adults handle relational conflicts – for better or worse,” says Johnson. “And it’s a chance to encourage creative, effective solutions to friendship challenges.”

When choosing schools, consider carefully. “Schools that value community take the issues of bullying and harassment very seriously,” says Carolyn Hampton. “Every school should have a written anti-bullying policy and procedures in place. No parent should send their child to a school that doesn’t.” Her ideal campus policy is a restorative-justice program where bullying incidents are openly discussed, school officials clearly spell out rules and consequences, and bullies sometimes have to make amends to their victims and to the community.

Another crucial step is making sure your daughter understands that you are there for her during this difficult life phase. “I think it is very important to let your child know that you will always listen without judgment, and that you will always have her back,” Carolyn Hampton says. “The last thing you want is [for her] to shut down and keep those feelings bottled up inside. Something like that could end in a tragedy.”

Finally, as the mom of a strong 15-year-old girl, my suggestion is to teach children self-assurance and encourage good citizenship from a young age. My daughter didn’t respond to mean-girl behavior because she didn’t care about being part of the popular crowd. She had her friends and her purpose in life. But her eyes were wide open and when she saw younger kids being bullied and teased, she always intervened and helped them. I know, because those kids’ mothers have thanked me for my daughter’s compassion.

Natalie Hampton is similarly caring. In high school, when she saw kids eating lunch alone, she would invite them to join her. “The simple gesture of opening up the table made a difference in the lives of these kids,” she says. Natalie believes that every school has “upstanders” like her who are happy to take steps to make their schools more welcoming and inclusive, and that student-led anti-bullying initiatives are far more effective than those led by adults.

Natalie created an app called “Sit With Us” that serves as a social network and lunch-planning platform, and is being used by more than 80,000 people worldwide. She wanted to effect change on a larger scale. “She felt that if she sat back and did nothing for the kids who continue to suffer every day,” says her mom, “she would be just as bad as the kids who watched her eat lunch alone every day.”

Kaumudi Marathé is a Glendale-based writer and mom who frequently contributes to L.A. Parent.

Getting Teen Boys to Talk

Published April 14, 2017

By Kaumudi Marathe

Recently, a mom I know lamented that her formerly talkative son became silent when he turned 13. “He used to tell me about everything,” she said sadly. “Now it’s hard to get two words out of him and he does not share his life with us at all.” Her comment reminded me that I had suddenly felt panic 16 years ago when I was six months pregnant and realized I might have a boy. “How will I raise him?” I asked my husband. “What will I do when he’s a teenager?”

Since I gave birth to a girl three months later, I didn’t have to grapple with the issues of parenting a son. My daughter and I have our own angst and she is less communicative at 15 than she was at 4, but she continues to share her life with me. My girlfriends with teen boys are dealing with other issues, not always knowing what their sons need from them. The boys often don’t understand when they need help or know how to ask for it. Instead, they turn inward and try to figure it all out on their own.

The teenage years are a physically and emotionally challenging time and can be especially difficult for boys, who are trying to find their place in society amidst pressure from parents and peers.

Figuring It All Out

“Yes, teen boys’ prefrontal cortexes are forming and they don’t have an understanding of consequences, so they can be reckless,” says Glendale-based family physician Esther Yoon, M.D. “Yes, the hormones are raging, hair is sprouting all over the place and they are in a really awkward life phase. Yes, they are brooding and sulking. But more importantly, they are trying to figure out what it means to be a man, what the criteria of being an adult are.”

When girls get their periods, Yoon says, they know they can bear children, that they have become women. Boys have a less concrete confirmation of manhood. “That’s why they might seek affirmation from their peers, whether by doing drugs, drinking alcohol or engaging in rough or violent play,” she says, adding boys don’t think they can share these feelings with their parents because it will make them anxious or angry.

While teen girls desire love from their parents, boys are seeking respect from family and peers. Yoon suggests that parents reassure their sons that they are not being judged. “We want them to learn to be gentle and sensitive but not destroy what is masculine about them,” she says. “We want to develop healthy males and honor them while also helping them learn how to communicate.”

Jennifer Macon, Humanities Magnet coordinator at Cleveland High School in Reseda, says that students talk a lot about the pressure to conform to stereotypical notions of masculinity and femininity, which generally starts in middle school. “For many boys, this equates to being quiet and stoic, feeling only as if they have permission to show ‘masculine’ emotions such as anger and aggression,” she says.

In 17 years of teaching, Macon says she has seen this pressure heightened as a result of social media. She adds that one of the few “safe” spaces for boys and men to express a fuller range of emotion is during sports play, where they exhibit jubilation and sadness, cry and hug in victory and defeat.

Nick Stein, a 17-year-old senior in the humanities magnet at Cleveland, expresses a similar view. “We’re not supposed to express how we feel,” he says. “We’re supposed to deal with it and move on. It affects the way men and boys react to each other and to people in general.”

Kari Keegan-Smith from L.A.’s West Adams neighborhood agrees. Long before her teenage daughters were born, she became the stepmom of three boys. “Boys are very linear. They only know the broader feelings,” she says. “The fine lines between emotions are lost on them, so they need to be taught.” Smith worked to honor her stepsons’ emotions and raise them to be well-rounded, compassionate and caring men while communicating with them directly and matter-of-factly on their level. “I never asked them at the end of a school day how school was,” she says. “I asked, ‘So how many guys picked their noses today?’ or something like that to get the conversation started.”

A Parenting Plan

Michelle East works to foster open communication with her sons, Caleb and Archer. PHOTO COURTESY MICHELLE EAST

Glendale-based therapist and yoga teacher Michelle East and her husband, musical director/composer David Ossman, also have a definite parenting plan for their boys. Seventeen-year-old Caleb studies music at the L.A. County High School for the Arts, and 11-year-old Archer is in elementary school. “I feel so much responsibility for bringing these guys a good foundation so that they know how to take care of themselves, so that they can be whole people,” says East. “We have an open communication with all subjects. They also have a whole group of people they can talk to about things. If they don’t want to talk to us, they can talk to Uncle Bill, Uncle Michael or Uncle Hutch.”

East’s top conversation tip: Go easy on the eye contact. “Confrontational eye contact can be threatening and put boys on the defensive,” she says. “Don’t challenge them with it. Some of our best conversations are side by side, walking or in the car.”

Psychologist Michael J. Bradley, Ed.D., author of “Yes, Your Teen is Crazy,” concurs. “Women like eye contact,” he says. “Men like to play ball together or go out for a drink. Boys are the same. The best way to talk to your son is walking, driving or laying next to him on the bed. That is non-threatening.” Bradley’s other teen conversation tips include:

Time it right. Sleep-deprived mornings are lousy times for serious teen conversations. After school – and a day of criticism from teachers and coaches – might be even worse.
Change the venue. If conversation isn’t going well at home, try the coffee shop or even cruising around town.
Dose carefully. The best teen conversations are not one marathon, but 10 sprints.
Less is more. After word seven, many teens tune out, so choose your words carefully.
Control your volume. Yelling, demeaning and forceful speech simply fires up their brains. Save your breath.
Don’t interrupt. Allow 10 seconds after your teen stops talking, then ask if he or she has more to say before you respond.
Advise only if invited. Otherwise, just listen.
Be ready to run. If the conversation goes south, disengage. Nothing good, and a lot bad, can happen once the raging starts.

Teens’ suggestions for their parents include being nonjudgmental, encouraging open communication but letting it take place at the teen’s initiation and pace and agreeing together on their parenting. “If both my parents could deal with my mistakes, I’d be less likely to make them again,” Stein says. “My parents are never on the same page. It creates a dynamic where you’re doing something that one parent is OK with, but the other isn’t. You’re setting yourself up for some bad stuff.”

The Role of Dads and Moms

Psychologist and author Michael J. Bradley, Ph.D., advises talking to your teenage son while you are walking or driving together, so you don’t have to make eye contact. PHOTO COURTESY MICHAEL BRADLEY

Eleven-year-old Mino Kon is just beginning the journey toward puberty. His mother, Los Feliz acupuncturist and Eastern medical practitioner Stacy Lauren-Kon, says he is a huge concern to her. “I worry that he will keep deep pain inside – the normal pain of a teenager but also that of having a [hyper] male role model in the house and an emotional female one,” she says. “How does he integrate both into himself?”

Kon believes it is essential to teach boys to embrace both male and female qualities and acknowledge that their fathers grew up in a different generation. She says boys must learn to look inward and process emotions while also respecting their fathers.

Dads have a big role to play in this regard, providing structure and creating bonding moments with their sons. “These are things that Dave is taking great care to teach the boys: how to shave, how to go on a date, how to create conversation,” East says of her husband. “They talk extensively and freely together.”

Yoon suggests that mothers need to understand male ideas of honor and respect and tailor their language accordingly. “Boys still need their moms, but they need them in a different way,” she says. “It may not be about hugs and cuddles anymore unless they ask for them, and using terms like ‘little man’ can be disrespectful to growing boys.” She recommends that mothers of boys read “Mother & Son: The Respect Effect” by Emerson Eggerichs, Ph.D.

In the end, showing that unconditional love, support and openness is a parent’s most valuable tool. “Point out the dichotomies and imperfections of life,” advises Kon. “Point out the reasons why it might be hard to talk. Say, ‘If you can feel free to communicate, let me know how I can help you, my love. This is what you were dealt. Women have overcome a lot and so must you, so you can have a voice and a rich emotional life.’”

Kaumudi Marathé is a Glendale-based writer and mom who frequently contributes to L.A. Parent.

On the Record: Weathering Parenting Storms

Published April 13, 2017

By Daniella Guzman

It was Sept. 12, 2008, and I was scrambling through my house in Houston, trying to secure my family, check our emergency supplies and board up the windows while packing a duffle bag full of rain gear and non-perishable food so I could leave for Galveston Island and cover Hurricane Ike, a powerful storm approaching the Gulf Coast and expected to make landfall in less than 24 hours. The anxiety I felt that day made me realize how unprepared for an emergency my family was at home.

Now that I have two children, I know how important it is to have a family survival plan for the unexpected emergencies nature throws our way, and also for the inevitable disappointments, dangers and other “storms of life” our kids will hit us with as they grow up.

How do we say no to our 5-year-old who wants an iPhone because her friend has one? How do we convince our pre-teen that she doesn’t need to watch an R-rated movie? How do we stand our ground when our teenagers post pictures of themselves on unapproved social-media accounts or have friends we don’t approve of?

To guide my kids through the turbulent stages of growing up, I rely on my “family survival guide,” a list of values to help them build a strong foundation for life:

Trust: I work daily to gain and maintain the trust of my daughters Sofia, 5, and Olivia, 1, by picking them up on time and always following through with what I promise – from discipline to taking them to the park. It’s also important to me that they see that I am the same person on the streets and behind closed doors at home.

Security: I want my girls to have a sense of security so they feel comfortable engaging with the exciting world they are discovering as they grow. This means I talk openly about its dangers – from going up to pet an unknown dog to speaking with strangers and inappropriate touching. We talk about the risks of running off by themselves and the importance of memorizing our phone numbers in case they ever get lost. I hope that teaching them the risks and consequences of certain actions helps them feel more secure.

Self-Respect: Our children are growing up in a time where good role models are harder to come by, and I want my husband and I to fill that need for our daughters. I can tell they are watching my every move to see whether my actions match my words. I watch carefully how I dress and how I refer to others. I try to model helpfulness and gratitude toward people. I strongly believe teaching kids self-respect goes hand in hand with teaching them what we give is more important than what we are given.

Responsibility: Holding our kids accountable for their actions and words has come easy for me because my parents always had high expectations of my behavior. Whenever I left the house, they would say to me, “Don’t forget you are an ambassador to our home.” In our home, teaching responsibility is as easy as giving my girls 10- and five-minute warnings before leaving a playdate and having them keep their room clean and handle small chores such as helping walk the dog and setting the table.

Many days, raising my girls feels like a “storm” in my mind, but as I think about that frantic day when I was getting ready to report on Hurricane Ike, I remind myself how similar life is to a hurricane’s path. The trajectory and strength of a storm can change at any moment. As parents, we can experience similar unexpected challenges and changes. List your family’s priorities and create your own “family survival guide,” and you’ll feel ready for any forecast.

When the News Is Scary or Confusing

Published April 11, 2017

By Elena Epstein

Psychologist Catherine Mogil of UCLA advises parents to remind their children about the network of people who will support them during difficult times. PHOTO COURTESY CATHERINE MOGIL

Editor’s note: This is an update of a 2015 article which, sadly, is still quite relevant and timely.

Television, radio, newspapers and social media bring us news of terrorist attacks and tragedy on a daily basis. And too often, as in the case of a shooting Monday (April 10, 2017) at North Park Elementary school in San Bernardino, the news is much closer to home.

How can parents begin to explain these horrible events to their children? We chatted with Catherine Mogil, Psy.D., clinical director of the UCLA Family Stress, Trauma and Resilience Clinic, and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior. Her research and clinical work focuses on prevention and treatment of child and family traumatic stress.

As parents, our first instinct is often to shield our children from scary news. Is this the best approach when it comes to mass tragedies?

We don’t want to scare children with too much information, but ignoring the situation and pretending like nothing is wrong may not the best approach. Young kids have “magical thinking.” It’s how they make sense of their world. They often fill in the gaps with a story that makes sense to them, but may not be accurate. If they are hearing about a shooting from their friends, and nothing from their parents, they start thinking, “This must be really bad.” When parents open the door for communication, they alleviate a lot of fear and can begin to address misinformation.

What are some age guidelines parents should be aware of?

Parents have to take into consideration their child’s emotional development when discussing tragedy. In general, it is best to find out what your child has heard and anticipate if they may be exposed to information from another source. For kids under 5, you can say, “Something happened today that has a lot of adults talking,” and see how much they heard. If they seem unaware of the incident, you may not need to say anything further. For older kids, it’s better to introduce the topic, because they will hear about it in school, on social media or from their friends. But first, find out what they know. You can say, “There have been a lot of news reports today about someone who wanted to do bad things,” then stop and let them ask questions.

What type of information should parents avoid sharing?

The descriptive, gory details. If your kids want more information, give them the facts. They might ask, “Did anyone die?” You have to be honest and say, “Yes, people died. It’s very sad.” I also don’t recommend kids under 9 to watch the news. It’s visual overload for them and can cause a lot of wear and tear stress on young kids.

What’s the message that kids need to hear from parents when mass tragedies happen?

That they are safe. One good way to assure kids is to remind them of their network of people who will support them. Instead of saying, “I’ll always be there for you,” name all the adults in their life who will be there for them. Parents can then share all of the different things they do everyday to keep their child safe, such as wearing seat belts and looking both ways before crossing the street. Parents also need to arm themselves with some self-care before having this conversation. Take a bath, take a deep breath, go for a walk, call a friend. Whatever you need to do, so you don’t fall apart in front of your kids. These conversations need to be calm and reassuring, but they also need to be authentic. If your kids seem anxious, instead of saying, “There is nothing to be afraid of,” you could say, “I’m worried, too.” Then talk about the things you are doing to manage your anxiety and help your children find their comforting rituals. Always remind them that they can come to you any time with questions, or just to talk.

Millennial Dad: A Voyage of Selfie Discovery

Published April 7, 2017

By Isaac Parfrey

Isaac Parfrey and son Hank snapped a selfie with LACMA’s iconic streetlamps as a backdrop. PHOTO BY ISAAC PARFREY

What’s wrong with me? What am I doing clutching my 2-year-old in this chokehold as I attempt to aim my phone at our two duck-lipped faces? Can’t he have a normal “mirror” phase like any other pre-Kardashian child? Profound parental – no, human – guilt confronts me. I know this is wrong, base, tacky. But I need Hank to stare into my smart phone and smile. Smile! C’mon, smile!

Instead, he flails and sobs uncontrollably. He wants his freedom. Not for one second do I lack sympathy for the kid, but Mom wants a photo of us – and, Dude, we are going to get this selfie if it kills me.

I’m sure plenty has been written about this oft-maligned millennial phenomenon we call the selfie, though I don’t have time to read any of it. I need to post this photo of younger son Leo in his Dodgers onesie on Instagram.

Other parents and friends post selfies with their children without filters or scruples. I’ve seen everything from the baby at the tattoo parlor to the beret-wearing toddler at the Eiffel Tower (at Paris Las Vegas). And when I look at these photos on Facebook or Instagram, I’m rarely fooled, muttering to myself, “They’re trying too hard.” Staging is essential to the baby-selfie. Viewing the social media feeds of my friends in New York, you’d think it was sunny every day and that all these parents do is gadabout town sipping negronis. And in Chicago, somehow it’s never cold and the Cubs play in February.

In L.A., you can create an ideal baby-selfie all year. Woohoo! But there are pitfalls to having an abundance of sun and renowned landmarks at your camera-phone’s thumb-tips. So allow me to guide your selfie shooting and help you avoid any baby missteps.

First, avoid the obvious and the mundane. Let your cousin from Waukesha, Wisc., snap that photo with the Hollywood sign behind him. Also refrain from the baby-selfie on the bed with the black-and-white filter. It’s simultaneously boring and creepy.

Consider, instead, a hike. A panoramic view of our lovely city from above makes for the perfect backdrop. It also will make your friends (or cousin in Waukesha) decidedly jealous if that is your aim (and that is the law of the selfie). Avoid Runyun Canyon. You will get the views, but you will also have to spend time nervously scanning the trails for feral pit bulls. Not a good place for your baby or toddler. Instead, try taking the Los Liones Trail to Parker Mesa. At the end of this moderately strenuous hike in Topanga State Park, there is a lovely bench on a ridge that seems to stretch out over Santa Monica Bay. Imagine your little one smiling with hundreds of blue rippling currents behind him, the Pier’s Ferris wheel spinning in the background. On a clear day, you can see San Jacinto, San Nicolas Island and the booming cranes of Long Beach harbor. If your child can’t stand the carrier (ours can’t, unfortunately), don’t fret. Most of the trail is wide fire road, which is ideal for your jauntiest stroller. Be sure to don the sunscreen.

Assuring that your followers fully understand the scope of your SoCal savviness is paramount, so feel free to step outside the bounds of L.A. County. Sometimes, it’s best to model your baby in varying landscapes and ecosystems. For example, Joshua Tree National Park, while not literally in our back yard, is close enough and will give your baby-selfie an added sun-swept luster. For a stone-age look (and to elicit comparisons between your baby and Bamm-Bamm of “Flintstones” fame), take the kiddo to Hidden Valley. Those mammoth mounds of limestone make for an otherworldly scene. Just look out for rattlers – and the three-hour drive back.

Closer to home, the famed junction of Wilshire Boulevard and Fairfax Avenue that flanks the Miracle Mile presents an array of selfie opportunities. No doubt the tar pit lake will perk your narcissistic impulses as you and your child peer at your murky reflections. Hank and I did manage to get some great photos. We pretended to be stuck in black goo (“ewww,” he kept repeating). Also, there’s LACMA’s nostalgic streetlight installation. A selfie here is prerequisite to holding a ZIP code that begins with 9-0. Hank also enjoyed the giant boulder known as “Levitated Mass.”

“Look at that big rock right there,” he kept saying. I knew that piece had a demographic.

Isaac Parfrey is a writer, composer and L.A. native who enjoys roaming Southern California with his wife, Kate, and sons, Hank and Leo. Follow him on Twitter @IsaacParfrey.

5 Things To Think About On Your Summer Camp Search

Published March 24, 2017

By Christina Elston

The Summer Institute for Kids at the Center for Early Education in West Hollywood offers a wide range of activities, and Extended Programs Coordinator Susan McCarthy advises thinking about how your child will spend each day at summer camp. PHOTO COURTESY THE CENTER FOR EARLY EDUCATION

You’re a proactive parent. You want your kids to go to camp this summer and have a great time. And unless you’re already planning on booking them at the same amazing camp they loved last summer, that means doing a little homework.

As you check out various camps, you’ll need to check all the usual boxes. You want safe camp facilities, well-trained and experienced staff, program hours and location that fit your family’s needs and activities your child will enjoy. Many camps will offer all of those things. Beyond that, how should you direct your search?

Here are tips from directors of four local camps to help you find a great fit:

Look for unexpected interests. Sometimes, we are so busy trying to connect children with what they are interested in that we forget to look for things they might be interested in. Camps can be a great way for kids to explore a new activity, and there are camps focused on just about everything you can imagine.

Heather Cole is founder and director of Modeling Camp, a program that travels to a dozen cities in and outside the U.S. every summer. Cole says that many girls who sign on for a week of camp weren’t previously interested in modeling. “A lot of the girls who end up at Modeling Camp are girls who are interested in drama or dance or photography,” she explains. They discover that modeling is closely related to these things, and they enjoy it as well.

Cole also points out that a major mission of Modeling Camp, which will have an L.A. session for ages 11-17 July 17-20, is to build girls’ self-confidence. And you don’t have to be an aspiring model to benefit from that. “Why can’t any girl come to camp and feel like a model for the week?” Cole asks.

Think outside the “camp.” Modeling Camp’s L.A. session is held at Residence Inn by Marriott in Beverly Hills, and Cole points out that theirs isn’t the only camp that doesn’t have a permanent site. Don’t let this exclude these camps from your search. Even if you can’t visit the location before camp begins, you can call the main office and talk with the staff, check out the camp website and online reviews to get a picture of the program. “Use the power of the Internet,” Cole advises.

Modeling Camp is a traveling camp that holds sessions in L.A. each summer. The camp also appeals to girls interested in photography, drama and dance. PHOTO COURTESY MODELING SCHOOL

The El Camino College Kid’s College program does have a permanent site, but isn’t exactly a traditional summer camp either. Betty Sedor, director of community education at El Camino, says people don’t normally think, “Let me put my first grader or my fifth grader at a college this summer.” But the kids seem to enjoy it. “They really like this format. They like doing something different,” Sedor says.

The program takes place on the El Camino College campus and includes two-week sessions for grades 1-12. And Sedor says it has a real college feel. “I try to use the college as much as possible and use our actual instructors,” she explains.

For grades 6-12, options include a popular veterinary assistant camp. “We’re using our real veterinary assistant instructor,” says Sedor. “The kids can’t wait until they are 18 and can take her full veterinary assistant course.” The basketball camp takes place in El Camino’s gym, soccer camp on the soccer field, and the piano course culminates with a recital in a recital hall with a baby grand piano.

Another perk of Kid’s College is that it gives campers a supervised chance to learn to find their way around a college campus, building confidence for high school and beyond. “That’s a life skill, getting yourself between buildings,” Sedor says. “I think it makes their experience here even better.”

Is variety your child’s style? While some kids love venturing into new territory, others – especially the little ones – might be happier with something they know. “There are so many options out there even for younger elementary-age children, but some kids are happiest in a familiar environment,” says Susan McCarthy, extended programs coordinator at The Center for Early Education (CEE) in West Hollywood. “Their school or neighborhood might have a camp they would love.”

Sports programs at El Camino College Kid’s College take place on the campus athletic field, giving campers a chance to have a look around. PHOTO COURTESY EL CAMINO COLLEGE

CEE operates the Summer Institute for Kids, with one- and two-week classes for students in kindergarten to third grade in June and July. These cover a wide range of topics, from academic subjects to cooking, performing arts and sports. In making activity choices at any camp, McCarthy advises thinking about how your child will spend his or her day. “If they are very focused and want to dive deep into one subject, then a one-week intensive camp might be perfect,” she says. “If they like to try different things and have time to play with friends, then maybe a camp with a number of different activities during each day is the thing for you.”

Try a trial run. For even more assurance that you have found a good fit, look for programs that offer a chance for your child to preview the activities. El Camino College, for instance, offers “Sizzling Saturday” workshops that let families get a little taste of the program. Among these is a wood-turning workshop where kids in grades 6-12 learn to craft wooden pens.

Many camps and schools also offer short programs on weekends, after school or during spring break. Studio LOL, a comedy school for kids in Studio City, takes it one step farther, offering free 90-minute trial classes during the school year. “It’s an excellent way for a curious student to meet our teachers and to gauge whether or not improv is an activity they’d enjoy doing for a full week,” says Katy Chase, who founded and runs Studio LOL with her husband.

The studio, which offers classes in comedy improvisation for ages 4-12 during the school year, also hosts birthday parties and offers camps during spring break and summer. But the trial class is your child’s only chance to attend for free. “Parents should plan ahead,” Chase says. “We run out of available space and time for trial classes the closer we get to the end of the school year.”

Find the fun. In all of your planning ahead, however, don’t overlook what to your kids might be every camp’s most important feature. Because even the safest, most innovative camp with the best facilities and a focus on your child’s favorite pastime has missed its mark if your child doesn’t have fun there.

“Sizzling Saturday” workshops at El Camino College include a wood turning workshop where kids craft wooden pens. The workshops give families a chance to try out Kid’s College for the day. PHOTO COURTESY EL CAMINO COLLEGE

Dylan and Tao Gaines own All-Star Baseball School in South Pasadena and have a 9-year-old daughter, so they have lots of camp experience. They find that the camps their daughter wants to return to summer after summer are the ones where she has the most fun. And they say kids come back to All Star, which offers camp sessions in July and August and lessons throughout the year, for the same reason. “We try to really make sure that the kids enjoy themselves and have fun,” says Dylan.

All-Star brings that fun by packing camp with things like pitching contests where kids can earn baseball cards, and special days like Slip-n-Slide Day, which campers look forward to all session. “We design all the baseball drills with the Slip-n-Slide incorporated,” Dylan says.

But there is plenty of baseball instruction as well. “They’re definitely learning all the different aspects of the game,” says Tao, explaining that campers are grouped by skill level, and that instructors are all former professional or minor league players.

All-Star, like the previously mentioned camps, boasts several years in business, excellent supervision and a program where camper safety is top of mind. But they all also offer a little something more. And it’s that little something that will have your child bouncing out of bed, excited about camp each morning.

Christina Elston is Editor of L.A. Parent.

Five Tips for Addressing Your Child’s Learning Difference

Published March 23, 2017

By Mary Stewart-Oliver, M.A., M.Ed., PPSC

Families must stay engaged with schools to support kids with learning differences. PHOTO BY MOKRA/FREEIMAGES.COM

With California public schools ranking the lowest in the nation for student-teacher ratio –an average of 24-to-1 compared with the national average of 16-to-1 – it can be difficult for teachers to hone in on the needs of each student. This is especially true for students with learning differences, but one critical element can help yield greater success: family involvement.

Intervention should not be left solely to educators. Collaboration involving educators, specialists, administrators and family members yields the greatest results. Whether you are a parent, caregiver, older sibling or other loved one, the following tips will keep you proactively involved in a child’s academic intervention:

Confirm that a positive student-teacher relationship exists. Targeted intervention takes a lot of time and investment for educators, and the challenge often brings forth teachers who are passionate and seek to find strategies that will work for each student. However, your student must respond well to and have a comfortable working relationship with her or his teachers for these strategies to help. Talk with your child about their relationship with their teachers to help ensure that your child is encouraged, supported and motivated to achieve success.
Help restore the student’s self-esteem. Many students have low self-esteem due to academic and social struggles, bullying and lack of proper educational support. It is important for teachers to highlight and teach to a student’s strengths to help compensate for their weaknesses. However, family members must also recognize their struggling child’s strengths and maximize their talents through activities at home in order to further build their confidence.
Ask questions. Do not sit back and assume that everything is being handled perfectly. Remember that it takes a team to implement steps to success, and that you are the most relevant part of that team. If you suspect something is not as it should be, have concerns about the use of particular strategies or your child’s response to an intervention, or you are just not sure about what is taking place, it’s your right to ask about it.
Foster open communication with your child. Especially for students in fifth grade and beyond, open communication is vitally important. Helping them to understand their own academic and social struggles and reinforcing strategies encouraged by teachers and specialists helps them overcome their struggles and promotes acceptance, resulting in a profound impact on their academic performance. Children need to be comfortable with who they are and accept their learning differences so that they can be proactive advocates for themselves in the future.
Monitor your child’s progress. Just as schools measure a student’s skills and use data to evaluate their progress, families should monitor social engagement, academic focus and organization and time-management skills to help track the student’s growth. Monitor your child’s progress for your own knowledge and to provide helpful feedback to their educators.

The ultimate goal of targeted intervention should be to give students the skills and tools to function as independent learners with the most effective but least intrusive intervention – and the utmost support from teachers, specialists and family.

Mary Stewart-Oliver is a counselor at The Prentice School in North Tustin. She provides transition services and responds to the academic, career, social and emotional needs of the students.

Jill Simonian: On Being A Real FAB Mom

Published March 20, 2017

By Elena Epstein

Jill Simonian, pictured here with her daughters, is author of “The Fab Mom’s Guide: How to Get Over the Bump & Bounce Back Fast After Baby.” PHOTO COURTESY JILL SIMONIAN

When I first received a copy of “The Fab Mom’s Guide: How to Get Over the Bump & Bounce Back Fast After Baby,” my first thought was, We don’t have enough pressure as moms? Now we have to be back to fabulous within seconds after giving birth? But author Jill Simonian’s message is about a different kind of fabulous.

For Simonian, founder of the parenting and lifestyle website TheFABmom.com, FAB stands for Focused After Babies and her mission is to arm moms with tools to cultivate their sense of self while navigating the complete change of lifestyle that newborns bring. Her book, which comes out in April and is available on Amazon, reads like a chat with a gal pal over coffee. Simonian’s sense of humor and authenticity come through as she shares her fears about becoming a mom, her brain fog after giving birth, challenges of finding childcare and juggling work and family. And like any good gal pal, she also gives advice on moisturizing with scar cream and wearing a postpartum tummy wrap.

Tells us about being a FAB mom.

Those first few months with a new baby are exhausting. Being a FAB mom is really about being resilient through all those crazy moments when you feel like junk. It’s about having mental clarity to make good choices for yourself and your family. It’s also about enjoying yourself and having fun. It’s not about putting on heels and makeup and being glamorous, but it is important that you feel good about yourself.

What was your own childhood home like?

I was born and raised in Fresno, which is culturally very different than L.A. Both my parents are third generation Armenian. Our neighborhood had a very small-town feel to it. You always saw someone you knew. My parents were pretty traditional. My dad is a dentist and Mom is a teacher, and my mom was the one who did all the cooking and drove us everywhere. Even though I live in L.A., I still have a lot of those traditional expectations for myself. It was hard to ask my husband to drive the girls to school or for me to pick up dinner. My husband is great, but I had a tough time reconciling my image of what a “mom” should do. Now I urge all moms to say out loud, “I need help. I can’t do it myself.”

What are your daily habits to stay FAB?

Every morning when I wake up, I say, “Thank you for this day.” It sounds crazy, but saying it makes me feel centered and confident. I won’t go to bed with a dirty kitchen sink. Even if I’m dead tired, I will take the extra 10 minutes at night and load the dishwasher so I can wake up to a clean kitchen. It helps me feel more in control. I can only get to the gym once a week, but I stretch in the bathroom every night before I shower. It gives me a few minutes of alone time and it’s so great for your mind and body.

What advice do you have for new moms?

Get yourself as organized as you can. The more things around you are organized, the more in control you’ll feel. Know that it’s OK to shift your plans if something isn’t working. If you tried breastfeeding and it’s just not working for you, don’t torture yourself about. It’s OK to shift gears. Remember, nobody knows more about your baby than you. Be confident. And the old cliché of if you look good, you feel good is true! Take time for yourself to shower, wash your hair, put on a little lipstick, go for a walk. It’ll make a huge difference.

Elena Epstein is Director of Content & Strategic Partnerships at L.A. Parent.

Friendship In Flow

Published March 19, 2017

By Elena Epstein

Lourdes Mack, left, and her friend Aline Arslanian met through Infinite Flow, a wheelchair dance company that brings standing and wheelchair dancers together. PHOTO BY LISA TANNER

Lourdes Mack loves to dance, act, ski, play basketball and surf. And she’s done it all with her trademark enthusiasm and her bright pink wheelchair. Mack was born with spina bifida, a medical condition that damages the spinal cord and nerves. But Mack doesn’t want to talk about that – or her wheelchair. She’d much rather talk about playing a nun in Santa Monica High School’s recent production of “The Sound of Music.”

“It was so much fun,” says the ninth-grader, the only actor in the production who uses a wheelchair. “I loved it and everybody was friendly, especially the seniors. They didn’t look at the chair. They just looked at me.”

Mack feels equally at home at Infinite Flow, a wheelchair dance company she has danced with for almost two years. The Sherman Oaks-based nonprofit launched in 2015 as the first professional wheelchair ballroom dance company. It also offers inclusive classes for children with and without disabilities. Through Infinite Flow, Mack met 12-year-old Aline Arslanian, who shares her passion for dance and acting and has become a close friend. The two love to joke around, talk about boys, laugh and just have fun together.

When Arslanian, a “standing dancer,” first heard about Infinite Flow, she was curious and wanted to give it a try. She immediately loved the studio and the diversity of the dancers. “Just because someone is in a wheelchair doesn’t mean you have to be afraid to say hello,” Arslanian says. “I just went up to Lourdes and introduced myself and look at us now.”

It’s that camaraderie that Lourdes’ mom, Nicte Mack, loves most about programs that bring together children and adults with different abilities. Mack’s older daughter, 19-year-old Diana, has Cohen syndrome, an inherited condition that causes developmental, intellectual and physical disability. “What I want for my kids, and for all kids who have challenges, is for them to be treated the same as everyone else and receive the same respect,” Mack says. “We don’t ask for anything more, but we don’t want anything less.”

For Arslanian and her family, the Infinite Flow experience has been transformative. “Through Infinite Flow and the friendship between Lourdes and Aline, we have all grown and learned so much,” says Arslanian’s mom, Jan Yoss. “The inclusion of everyone and meeting people who are following their passion and excelling at it despite their challenges are valuable lessons.”

National Study Looks at Adolescent Brains

Published March 11, 2017

By Christina Elston

Elizabeth Sowell, Ph.D., is principal investigator of the ABCD study at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles, and will be working with 1,000 local tweens over the next 10 years. PHOTO COURTESY CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL LOS ANGELES

If you’ve got tweens or teens, no doubt you’ve wondered what’s going on in their heads. Children’s Hospital Los Angeles, USC and UCLA are now part of a 10-year nationwide study of 10,000 kids that aims to find out.

The Adolescent Brain Cognitive Development (ABCD) study will follow participants from ages 10 to 20, collecting brain-imaging data, genetic information and information about kids’ cognitive development and environmental exposures.

Brain development from birth to age 3 is dramatic and critical, but Elizabeth Sowell, Ph.D., principal investigator of the ABCD study at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles, says adolescence is also a crucial time. Smaller-scale studies over the last decade have shown significant changes in the structure and function of adolescent brains that are related to cognitive and behavior changes taking place during that same time. “This is really important because we all know that adolescence is a time when dramatic physical, emotional and social changes occur,” Sowell says.

She points out that along with adolescents’ burgeoning independence come risk-taking behaviors and increased risk for mental health problems and drug experimentation. “We need to learn what factors in the biology and the social/physical environment impact brain and cognitive development for the better – or the worse,” says Sowell.

ABCD study researchers plan to do this by meeting with participants once a year. They will have them play computer games to track their cognitive development, ask their parents about the home environment, collect their baby teeth so they can measure environmental exposures to substances such as lead, examine their DNA and measure hormone levels. “The kids get to spit in a tube,” Sowell says. “We can measure the puberty hormones in their saliva.” And every two years, researchers will image participants’ brains with MRIs to track structural changes. This will be the largest long-term study of its kind to date.

Locally, researchers have partnered with the Los Angeles Unified School District to recruit 1,000 9- and 10-year-olds to take part in the study. They are also open to hearing from families outside the district that would like to be involved.

Participants are paid $100 per lab visit, and their parents are paid $50. Beyond that, it’s a chance to contribute to science. “This will help us understand how to promote healthy brain and cognitive development in our nation’s youth,” says Sowell. “That’s really the goal.”

Interested families can email ABCD@chla.usc.edu, call 323-361-7756 or visit www.ABCDstudy.org/sites/chla.html.

Why This Dad Is On Pokemon Go

Published March 8, 2017

By Mike Rothschild

Brant Pinvidic took his 13-year-old daughter to New York City to catch Pokemon. His filmmaking quest to understand the game’s appeal changed their relationship. PHOTO COURTESY BRANT PINVIDIC

Last year, Los Angeles TV producer Brant Pinvidic found himself equally baffled by two things.

One was the exploding popularity of the smartphone game Pokemon Go, which in the summer of 2016 was played by millions of people, including his whole family. The other was how to find common ground with his 13-year-old daughter, who had become obsessed with catching its virtual characters to the point where he caught her sneaking out of the house to play.

“I was concerned because I had never seen my daughter addicted to something like that,” Pinvidic says, “and the idea that she snuck out of the house for a video game was outrageous.”

Drawing on the experience he gained making his first film, the 2014 feature-length documentary “Why I’m Not On Facebook,” Pinvidic directed the short “Why I’m Not On Pokemon Go” to chronicle his quest to understand the game and its appeal.

The 14-minute film started as a way for Pinvidic to explain why he wasn’t interested in the game that had caught fire across the world. “I really thought I would be against the game and the movie would be more about the dangers of online compulsion and teen cell phone use,” Pinvidic says.

But that’s not what happened.

To get to the bottom of Pokemon Go’s popularity, he interviewed everyone from the first player to catch every Pokemon to addiction specialist Dr. Drew Pinsky. He threw a Pokemon party, took his daughter to New York to hunt for characters in Central Park and went hunting for creatures everywhere. In the process, he began to appreciate the game and why his family was so into it.

“I fully expected to make fun of the game and come up with some rules to govern my kids’ play,” he says. “The realization that through this game I could connect to my daughter in ways I hadn’t considered was a complete bonus.”

While the film has been a success, winning a number of awards at film festivals, the time spent with his daughter was the best part of it for Pinvidic.

And while the game’s popularity has cooled, Pinvidic and his daughter still play it when they go out together. “Pokemon Go had fundamentally changed our relationship,” he says, “and I think it will help me be a better dad and make our next few years easier to manage – fingers crossed.”

Pinvidic’s short film “Why I’m Not On Pokemon Go” can be found on YouTube.

Painting a Different Picture of Camp

Published March 7, 2017

By Christina Elston

A camper takes on the ropes course at The Painted Turtle, which offers free weeklong summer camps for kids with more than 70 medical conditions. PHOTO COURTESY THE PAINTED TURTLE

Summer camp is a place for kids to try out fun outdoorsy stuff, make arts and crafts (got lanyards?) and maybe learn a funny song or two. It’s also a place to meet other kids like them.

But what if there aren’t many kids like them? At The Painted Turtle camp, kids who have had kidney transplants or are diagnosed with hemophilia, cerebral palsy, muscular dystrophy, juvenile arthritis, IBD, cystic fibrosis and 70 other medical conditions find their true peers.

“A friend who has the same scars or takes the same meds is a really powerful connection for a kid,” says April Uyehara, Painted Turtle director of camp programs and initiatives.

Separate camps are held for each condition so that all aspects of the program can be tailored to the needs of the campers, who often can’t attend other camps. For kids with kidney disease, the menu fits their dietary requirements and special programming is planned during the hours they spend in dialysis. For kids with disambiguation (little people), “we just put stepstools all around camp,” says Uyehara, so things are within reach. Staff includes dedicated medical specialists who have experience with each condition.

All of this adaptation is designed to give children a camp experience that is – at its heart – very traditional. Campers enjoy morning horseback rides and evening campfires, and live in cabins with other kids. They canoe, swim and make art. “When kids come to camp, they have a very normal childhood experience,” Uyehara says.

The Painted Turtle helps kids build self-esteem and learn that they aren’t always limited by their illness. “Kids really discover different layers of themselves they may not have known before,” says Uyehara.

Weeklong sessions for ages 7-16 are offered throughout the summer, and family weekend programs in the fall, winter and spring. Amazingly, these camps are offered free of charge. Learn more at www.thepaintedturtle.org.

Doc Talk – Springing Forward With the Kids

Published March 5, 2017

By Christina Elston, updated March 3, 2020

The time change can make kids sleepy, which means they can be more hyperactive, they can have trouble focusing at school, they can act out or get into fights with siblings. PHOTO COURTESY FREEDIGITALIMAGES.COM

Most of us know the switch to Daylight Saving Time as “springing forward,” but it hardly makes us – or our kids – feel springy. Monika Mathur, M.D., a neurologist with the pediatric division of the Long Beach Adult & Pediatric Sleep Center at Miller Children’s and Women’s Hospital Long Beach, offers advice for getting the kids back in step.

Does the time change impact all ages the same?

Younger children actually do a lot better with the time change. They’re generally natural early risers. With daylight savings, this can be hard for the parent who is dealing with a bright and perky toddler an hour earlier than they’re used to.

On the other hand, teenagers have a lot of trouble with it. Teenagers like to stay up late and wake up late. So, with the time change, they now have to go to bed and wake up an hour earlier than they’re used to.

Does the time change have effects on us beyond just making us a little extra sleepy?

Definitely. Think about the last time that you stayed up late binge watching Netflix. The next day, it was probably hard to get out of bed in the morning. You’re cranky, it’s hard to concentrate at work, you’re probably more on edge than you normally would be. For kids, they can be more hyperactive, they can have trouble focusing at school, they can act out or get into fights with siblings.

Not getting enough sleep can have effects on our productivity, our heart, our weight, our mood, even our relationships with other people.

Are there ways parents can make this a little bit easier for the family?

About a week before Daylight Savings, parents can start shifting their kids’ schedule up a little bit. For instance, if their normal bedtime is 8 p.m., then the first day push it up to 7:45, and the next day 7:30, and the next day 7:15. And then eventually you’ll get up to 7 p.m., so that when the time change happens it’s not going to be such a shock.

Once the time change happens, is there anything parents can do to help those sleepy kids get out of bed?

Light is one of the biggest cues that tells our body what time it is. So first thing in the morning, open the blinds, have them go outside if you can, get as much of that light exposure as possible.

How long does it take the average child to adjust to the time change, and what are some signs that there could be a sleep problem?

It generally takes about a week to adjust to the time change. If the child is very sleepy during the day and taking naps a little bit more than they should need, or even being a little hyperactive during the day, these could be signs of sleep apnea. Other things that you can look for are loud snoring at night, gasping for air at night, also morning headaches or dry mouth. If your child has any of these symptoms, they should be seen by their pediatrician and referred to a pediatric sleep specialist.

Learn more about kids and sleep at www.MillerChildrens.org/Sleep or call (562) 728-5245.

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